October 5, 2025 • 11 mins
How many decisions are you not making because you're waiting for someone else to say it's okay? In this episode, I'm getting real about the three years I spent waiting to write a book—even though I was already qualified, already capable, and already writing. The only thing missing? My own permission.
In this episode, you'll discover:
You can also check out the Switch, Pivot or Quit podcast content on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@AHYIANA
In this episode, you'll discover:
- The three phrases that keep high-achievers stuck in permission-seeking mode
- Why the authority you're seeking has to come from you
- The Internal Authority Audit: three powerful questions that reveal what you really want
- A simple permission practice you can do this week to stop waiting and start moving
You can also check out the Switch, Pivot or Quit podcast content on YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/@AHYIANA
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
How many decisions are you not making because you're waiting
for someone else to say it's okay. How many dreams
of yours are on hold because you haven't gotten the
green light from people who aren't even paying attention to
your life. Quite frankly, well, if either of those questions
made you feel seen or possibly even attacked.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You are in the right place.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
This is a series where we're gonna be talking about
the psychology of playing small. So if you didn't listen
to last week's episode, make sure you double back and
go ahead and do that. It's not that one episode
is gonna build on the other, but they will connect.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
But anyway, let's get into the formal introduction.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Welcome back to the switch priveter Quit Podcast and welcome
to seven minute Sundays on the Switch privot e Quit Podcast.
I'm your host, Ayanna Angel, and we're gonna spend the
next seven minutes together getting you filled up with inspiration
and goodness to get your mind primed to achieve greatness
as you enter the week ahead. Today we're going to
(01:07):
be talking about why permission slips are for elementary school
and why high achieving adults are still asking for them.
You might be one of those people. Remember, we are
not here to shame each other about the choices and
decisions that we've made about the things that we do
on a day to day basis. We are here to
(01:29):
self reflect, to get better, to usher in change, and
to welcome the things that we don't know, so that
we can be our best version of ourselves doing whatever
it is that we want to do that makes us
feel the most happy and fulfilled. So I spent three
years wanting to write a book, three whole years, and
(01:53):
you know what I was waiting for. I was waiting
for someone to tell me I was qualified for an
agent to validate my ideas, if you will, a publisher
to give me permission, for literally anyone in authority to
say yes, Soyana, You're allowed to be an author. Now
you no longer have to be a publicist.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
You can do this new.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Thing if you want to do it, and you can
also be very good at it if you want to
do it.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Meanwhile, I was already writing, I had already started to
build my own little platform and corner of the Internet.
I had expertise, I had something to say, but I
was stuck in permission seeking mode, waiting for that external
validation or for an internal calling to just magically appear
(02:47):
for me. Now, let me keep it real, because you
know I always do. The day I stopped waiting for
permission was the day things changed. And I'm not saying
that as in it was a very special day, and
I remember the day and the time and da da dad.
Sometimes people kill me with how much detail they can
actually remember, and I'm like, can you really remember that?
(03:07):
Or was that like you making it up for story's sake, purposes?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Whatever? For me, let's just go with the day.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Whatever day, it was more so like a timeframe. When
I stopped waiting for permission, that was when everything changed.
I realized that no one was going to hand me
this hall pass if you will, to my own life
to say go get out there, roall the halls, live it.
(03:36):
The authority I was seeking had to come for me.
So when it came time to publish my second book,
I didn't wait around for permission. I was ready to
give myself the permission I have been looking for. So
in March of twenty nineteen, I self published my second
(03:56):
book that aforementioned, Quit Playing Small. That's what I discovered
there are some phrases everyday, phrases that keep us trapped
in permission seeking mode, and each one is sabotaging you
from getting to your next level. This is not all
(04:16):
the phrases, but these are three that I want to
call out to you and see if they sound even
remotely familiar. Phrase Number one, I don't know if I'm ready? Okay,
Ready is a myth. I'm gonna say it again. Ready
is a myth. Ready is what people say when they
want to avoid being seen as a beginner. But here
(04:40):
is the reality. You'll never feel ready for the thing
that scares you most. Think about so many other aspects
of your life even though you weren't ready, You did
it anyway. It could be marriage, It could be children.
It could be moving. It could be going off to college.
It could be taking on a new job. Whatever it
(05:01):
is that you, I guarantee have been in a position
and have put yourself in a position to act before
you were ready. Instead of asking am I ready, ask yourself?
Am I willing? Am I willing to learn?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Am I willing to be a beginner? Am I willing
to be imperfect? Am I willing to be seen? Am
I willing? To bet on myself before anyone else does.
So don't let that phrase I don't know if I'm
ready hold you back anymore. The second phrase I want
to call out is I need more experience.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
First.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Experience is important, but it's not a prerequisite for starting.
Every expert they were once a beginner who refuse to
stay a beginner. So you can gain experience by doing
the thing, not by preparing to do the thing. Stop
collecting qualifications and start creating evidence of your capability.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Okay, hold type for me for just one minute. Okay,
maybe two, but I promise we will be right back
after we hear from our sponsors. The third phrase that
I want to point out is what if people don't
(06:30):
think I'm qualified?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Here's a reality check. People are too busy worried about
their own lives managing what they are trying to do
to spend time questioning you in your life. The people
who matter will judge you by your results, not by
your effort. And the people who judge you by your
(06:53):
resume they're not your people. Huh, little secret, they are
not your people. So it doesn't really matter anyway. The
permission you're seeking, it isn't coming from outside. It's never
gonna come from outside. It's always going to be an
inside job. You have to give yourself permission to want more,
(07:14):
to try new things, to fail forward, to fail fast,
and to trust your own judgment. Now here's a framework
that you can use. Let's call it the internal authority audit.
You're gonna audit yourself, right, ask yourself these three questions.
(07:36):
What would I attempt if I knew I couldn't fail?
What would I do if no one else's opinion mattered
to me? And finally, what would I pursue if I trusted, trusted, trusted,
I'm emphasizing that word trusted my own judgment completely? What
(08:01):
would I pursue if I trusted my own judgment completely?
Your answers to those questions, that is your permission slip
written by you, signed by you, validated immediately.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
No, I'm just kidding, but validated immediately.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Really, So, this week's challenge, what I want you to
do is practice permission. Identify one decision you've been postponing
because you're waiting for external validation. Now you realize that, right.
Maybe you didn't realize it before, but now you realize it.
Maybe it's applying for a stretch roll within your company.
(08:44):
Maybe it's starting some type of side project or business.
Maybe is having a difficult conversation with someone in your life,
something where you've been waiting for the right time quote unquote,
or the right person quote unquote to give you the
go ahead. Now, what I want you to do is
subtly say to yourself, I give myself the permission.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I give me permission.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Write it down, if you have to record yourself saying it,
maybe even say it in the mirror. I give myself
permission to complete the sentence. Whatever the thing is, this
is you taking action. But this is not the hard action.
The hard action is. Then I want you to take
one small action step toward that decision before next Sunday,
(09:38):
Before we meet next Sunday, I want you to take
one small step toward that decision. You don't have to
do all the things, you don't have to have a
list of things written out in.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
A bunch of action items. Just one, just one.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Step that proves to you that you're the authority on
your own life. As we get ready to close out today,
I want you to know that your life is waiting
for your signature, not someone else's approval.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Be clear on that.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Understand it, feel it, know it to be true. All right,
next week we're gonna dive into comfort zones and why
staying safe might be the riskiest choice you are making
and you didn't even know it before I head out
of here. Just remember, you don't need permission to want.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
More from your life. You need the courage to amplify who.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
You are already because you're so amazing, you are so dope.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You gotta lean into it. You gotta believe it.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
You've got to give yourself permission to feel it, know it,
believe it, and put it out there into the world.
Thank you so much for spending time with me today.
I appreciate you. I am sending you big hugs and
love and wishing you continue blessings in your life day
to day. Help you lean into those blessings is a blessing.
Your presence is a blessing, and I really hope that
(11:03):
you know that. Until next time, until next week, be well.
How many decisions are you not making because you're waiting
for someone else to say it's okay. How many dreams
of yours are on hold because you haven't gotten the
green light from people who aren't even paying attention to
your life. Quite frankly, well, if either of those questions
made you feel seen or possibly even attacked.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You are in the right place.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
This is a series where we're gonna be talking about
the psychology of playing small. So if you didn't listen
to last week's episode, make sure you double back and
go ahead and do that. It's not that one episode
is gonna build on the other, but they will connect.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
But anyway, let's get into the formal introduction.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Welcome back to the switch priveter Quit Podcast and welcome
to seven minute Sundays on the Switch privot e Quit Podcast.
I'm your host, Ayanna Angel, and we're gonna spend the
next seven minutes together getting you filled up with inspiration
and goodness to get your mind primed to achieve greatness
as you enter the week ahead. Today we're going to
(01:07):
be talking about why permission slips are for elementary school
and why high achieving adults are still asking for them.
You might be one of those people. Remember, we are
not here to shame each other about the choices and
decisions that we've made about the things that we do
on a day to day basis. We are here to
(01:29):
self reflect, to get better, to usher in change, and
to welcome the things that we don't know, so that
we can be our best version of ourselves doing whatever
it is that we want to do that makes us
feel the most happy and fulfilled. So I spent three
years wanting to write a book, three whole years, and
(01:53):
you know what I was waiting for. I was waiting
for someone to tell me I was qualified for an
agent to validate my ideas, if you will, a publisher
to give me permission, for literally anyone in authority to
say yes, Soyana, You're allowed to be an author. Now
you no longer have to be a publicist.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
You can do this new.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Thing if you want to do it, and you can
also be very good at it if you want to
do it.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Huh.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Meanwhile, I was already writing, I had already started to
build my own little platform and corner of the Internet.
I had expertise, I had something to say, but I
was stuck in permission seeking mode, waiting for that external
validation or for an internal calling to just magically appear
(02:47):
for me. Now, let me keep it real, because you
know I always do. The day I stopped waiting for
permission was the day things changed. And I'm not saying
that as in it was a very special day, and
I remember the day and the time and da da dad.
Sometimes people kill me with how much detail they can
actually remember, and I'm like, can you really remember that?
(03:07):
Or was that like you making it up for story's sake, purposes?
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Whatever? For me, let's just go with the day.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Whatever day, it was more so like a timeframe. When
I stopped waiting for permission, that was when everything changed.
I realized that no one was going to hand me
this hall pass if you will, to my own life
to say go get out there, roall the halls, live it.
(03:36):
The authority I was seeking had to come for me.
So when it came time to publish my second book,
I didn't wait around for permission. I was ready to
give myself the permission I have been looking for. So
in March of twenty nineteen, I self published my second
(03:56):
book that aforementioned, Quit Playing Small. That's what I discovered
there are some phrases everyday, phrases that keep us trapped
in permission seeking mode, and each one is sabotaging you
from getting to your next level. This is not all
(04:16):
the phrases, but these are three that I want to
call out to you and see if they sound even
remotely familiar. Phrase Number one, I don't know if I'm ready? Okay,
Ready is a myth. I'm gonna say it again. Ready
is a myth. Ready is what people say when they
want to avoid being seen as a beginner. But here
(04:40):
is the reality. You'll never feel ready for the thing
that scares you most. Think about so many other aspects
of your life even though you weren't ready, You did
it anyway. It could be marriage, It could be children.
It could be moving. It could be going off to college.
It could be taking on a new job. Whatever it
(05:01):
is that you, I guarantee have been in a position
and have put yourself in a position to act before
you were ready. Instead of asking am I ready, ask yourself?
Am I willing? Am I willing to learn?
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Am I willing to be a beginner? Am I willing
to be imperfect? Am I willing to be seen? Am
I willing? To bet on myself before anyone else does.
So don't let that phrase I don't know if I'm
ready hold you back anymore. The second phrase I want
to call out is I need more experience.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
First.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Experience is important, but it's not a prerequisite for starting.
Every expert they were once a beginner who refuse to
stay a beginner. So you can gain experience by doing
the thing, not by preparing to do the thing. Stop
collecting qualifications and start creating evidence of your capability.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Okay, hold type for me for just one minute. Okay,
maybe two, but I promise we will be right back
after we hear from our sponsors. The third phrase that
I want to point out is what if people don't
(06:30):
think I'm qualified?
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Here's a reality check. People are too busy worried about
their own lives managing what they are trying to do
to spend time questioning you in your life. The people
who matter will judge you by your results, not by
your effort. And the people who judge you by your
(06:53):
resume they're not your people. Huh, little secret, they are
not your people. So it doesn't really matter anyway. The
permission you're seeking, it isn't coming from outside. It's never
gonna come from outside. It's always going to be an
inside job. You have to give yourself permission to want more,
(07:14):
to try new things, to fail forward, to fail fast,
and to trust your own judgment. Now here's a framework
that you can use. Let's call it the internal authority audit.
You're gonna audit yourself, right, ask yourself these three questions.
(07:36):
What would I attempt if I knew I couldn't fail?
What would I do if no one else's opinion mattered
to me? And finally, what would I pursue if I trusted, trusted, trusted,
I'm emphasizing that word trusted my own judgment completely? What
(08:01):
would I pursue if I trusted my own judgment completely?
Your answers to those questions, that is your permission slip
written by you, signed by you, validated immediately.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
No, I'm just kidding, but validated immediately.
Speaker 1 (08:21):
Really, So, this week's challenge, what I want you to
do is practice permission. Identify one decision you've been postponing
because you're waiting for external validation. Now you realize that, right.
Maybe you didn't realize it before, but now you realize it.
Maybe it's applying for a stretch roll within your company.
(08:44):
Maybe it's starting some type of side project or business.
Maybe is having a difficult conversation with someone in your life,
something where you've been waiting for the right time quote unquote,
or the right person quote unquote to give you the
go ahead. Now, what I want you to do is
subtly say to yourself, I give myself the permission.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
I give me permission.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Write it down, if you have to record yourself saying it,
maybe even say it in the mirror. I give myself
permission to complete the sentence. Whatever the thing is, this
is you taking action. But this is not the hard action.
The hard action is. Then I want you to take
one small action step toward that decision before next Sunday,
(09:38):
Before we meet next Sunday, I want you to take
one small step toward that decision. You don't have to
do all the things, you don't have to have a
list of things written out in.
Speaker 2 (09:49):
A bunch of action items. Just one, just one.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
Step that proves to you that you're the authority on
your own life. As we get ready to close out today,
I want you to know that your life is waiting
for your signature, not someone else's approval.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Be clear on that.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Understand it, feel it, know it to be true. All right,
next week we're gonna dive into comfort zones and why
staying safe might be the riskiest choice you are making
and you didn't even know it before I head out
of here. Just remember, you don't need permission to want.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
More from your life. You need the courage to amplify who.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
You are already because you're so amazing, you are so dope.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
You gotta lean into it. You gotta believe it.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
You've got to give yourself permission to feel it, know it,
believe it, and put it out there into the world.
Thank you so much for spending time with me today.
I appreciate you. I am sending you big hugs and
love and wishing you continue blessings in your life day
to day. Help you lean into those blessings is a blessing.
Your presence is a blessing, and I really hope that
(11:03):
you know that. Until next time, until next week, be well.
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