October 26, 2025 • 10 mins
Ever catch yourself shrinking down your ideas, dimming your expertise, or staying quiet when you know you have the answer? In this episode, we talk about the game-changing difference between adapting your communication style and abandoning your authentic self, and why making yourself smaller isn't professionalism, it's self-sabotage. Discover the Authenticity Calibration framework that helps you show up fully without apologizing for your brilliance, plus get a powerful challenge that will help you start expanding to lead this week. Your gifts can't impact people who need them if they can't see them, so stop hiding.
https://www.ahyianaangel.com/
https://www.ahyianaangel.com/
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Imagine this, You're sitting in the waiting room ready to
get on the zoom call, You're walking through the parking
lot about to enter the building. How much of yourself
do you leave in that parking lot, in that zoom
waiting room every day? How many of your ideas, your instincts,
(00:22):
your authentic reactions do you edit out of yourself before
you walk through those doors of said business meeting office environment?
And what if I told you that all that shrinking
it isn't making you more professional, is making you less powerful.
(00:52):
Welcome to seven minutes Sunday on the Switch Pivot Quid podcast.
I am your host, Ayana Angel. We're gonna spend the
next seven minutes together you filled up with inspiration and
goodness to get your mind primed to achieve greatness as
you enter the week ahead. And I hope you've been
enjoying our episodes chats meeting of the minds on the
(01:14):
idea of the psychology of playing small. So today we
are going to be talking about the difference between shrinking
to fit and expanding to lead. Honey, Yes, So I
used to be a master at reading rooms, adjusting accordingly
to corporate environments, meetings knowing how to tone it down, showing
(01:39):
up in a way that I felt was appropriate for brainstorms,
creative sessions, always holding a little bit back right, finding
the middle ground. I thought I was being professional, I
was adapting, I was being strategic, But what I was
actually doing was making myself smaller into spaces that weren't
(02:01):
designed for my full capacity. Honey, I was so good
at shrinking to fit that I hadn't leaned into what
it would feel like for me to expand, for me
to show up with my fullness, for me to lead,
for me to lead with my full personality, my grand ideas.
(02:27):
The turning point came for me during one of my
first meetings with a significant client that I had signed.
Once I started this more entrepreneurial journey and I was
out on my own, doing my own thing, and it
was a journey also to getting to the place where
I had to start to remind myself, you no longer
(02:49):
represent anyone else but yourself. So let's go back to
that time I signed this significant client and I brought
my full self to that first meeting, and they loved
it because that is what they were paying for. They
were paying for my sauce they were paying for my strategy,
my mind, my strengths, my delivery, and nothing that I
(03:15):
did felt too bold. It didn't feel too different. In fact,
I think for them it was refreshing. And that's when
I realized accommodating others isn't the same as abandoning yourself.
You never want to abandon yourself and some of the
(03:35):
core things that make you you, those are unique identifiers.
That is what can separate you from the pack. There's
a difference between adapting your communication style because that's important,
and you editing your capabilities, dumbing down what is possible
(03:57):
for you to execute on you more effective, and the
other makes you invisible. We all know the last thing
you want to be is invisible. So what exactly does
shrinking to fit in look like? I want to, you know,
just give you some things to think about. Paint a
little picture for you. It looks like you downplaying your
(04:19):
expertise to make others feel comfortable. It looks like you
apologizing for having strong opinions, for being passionate. It looks
like you staying quiet when you have a strong feeling
that your idea is fire. You might even have the
best idea in the room. It also looks like you
(04:41):
making yourself smaller so that others can feel bigger. I
feel like we've all been there. But now let's jump
to what expanding to lead looks like. What are some
examples of that. It's adapting your delivery without diluting your message.
(05:02):
It also looks like speaking with confidence while also remaining
open to other ideas and feedback. Expanding to lead also
looks like taking up space that your expertise, your years
of doing this work has earned you. And finally, it
looks like making room for others without making yourself smaller.
(05:26):
I think you're catching the theme right. No matter what,
we are not trying to shrink ourselves and dumb down
what we know. Your gifts, they need room to breathe.
When you constantly suppress your capabilities to fit into these
existing structures, you're not being considerate of other people. Actually,
(05:50):
if you think about it, you are being wasteful more
than anything. But I want to offer you some suggestions
on how you can sort of help calibrate yourself when
you're coming into these environments and you're like, Ooh, I
feel like I need to do something and get myself ready.
(06:12):
But I don't know what it is. So before every meeting,
every conversation, every professional interaction, I want you to ask
yourself this, how can I show up fully while showing
up appropriately? So what could this mean for you? It
could mean, prior to said interaction, you prepare your ideas
(06:37):
more thoroughly so that you can present them with confidence.
It could mean speaking with conviction while staying curious and
open to what others perspectives may be. Showing up appropriately
could mean claiming credit for your contributions with without diminishing
(07:01):
others' roles in said project or event, or whatever it is.
Showing up appropriately could also mean you being aware that
you need to set boundaries that protect your energy without
building walls around your potential impact. So the goal isn't
to be the cockiest, loudest person in the room who
(07:23):
thinks they have all the best ideas. The goal is
to be the most authentic version of yourself that that
particular room can handle, and that assessment of what they
can handle is totally up to you. Sometimes that means
educating the room about what you're capable of, where you
come from, how you have come to your views. Maybe
(07:45):
sometimes it means finding rooms that can handle your full capacity.
You get that right. It's not always trying to educate.
Sometimes it's finding the rooms that will welcome you as
you are. But it never means making yourself sip to
make others comfortable. So this week, I want to challenge
you to identify one recurring situation where you typically shrink
(08:11):
to fit in. Maybe it's meetings, Maybe it's conversations where
you downplay your accomplishments. Maybe it's decisions where you defer
to others despite you knowing exactly what to do and
having a strong instinct. This week, in those situations, experiment
with expanding instead of shrinking. Doesn't have to be a
(08:34):
dramatic play, right, just something that feels authentic to you.
Share the idea that you will usually keep to yourself.
Speak about your expertise without qualifying it. Take up the
space your expertise your years of knowledge have earned you.
Pay attention to what happens after you start doing this.
(08:56):
Most of the time, you'll start to see that people
were waiting for you to show up in this bigger way.
They may have been waiting for you to lead. They
may have known and had more confidence in your skill
set and your expertise than you did last week. Right,
(09:17):
They're not necessarily wondering if you're qualified. They're looking at
you saying, we've known that you've been qualified. We were
just waiting for you to own it. As we wrap up,
I want you to remember that your gifts can't impact
the people who need those gifts if those people can't
(09:38):
see those gifts. Thank you so much for spending time
with me today. I hope that you are ready to
go out there and shine with your gifts to share
with the world. To be mindful about how you show
up in spaces. And next week we're gonna be wrapping
up this series on playing small by talk talking about
(10:00):
the real cost of hiding your life. That's our time
this week until next week, be well,
Imagine this, You're sitting in the waiting room ready to
get on the zoom call, You're walking through the parking
lot about to enter the building. How much of yourself
do you leave in that parking lot, in that zoom
waiting room every day? How many of your ideas, your instincts,
(00:22):
your authentic reactions do you edit out of yourself before
you walk through those doors of said business meeting office environment?
And what if I told you that all that shrinking
it isn't making you more professional, is making you less powerful.
(00:52):
Welcome to seven minutes Sunday on the Switch Pivot Quid podcast.
I am your host, Ayana Angel. We're gonna spend the
next seven minutes together you filled up with inspiration and
goodness to get your mind primed to achieve greatness as
you enter the week ahead. And I hope you've been
enjoying our episodes chats meeting of the minds on the
(01:14):
idea of the psychology of playing small. So today we
are going to be talking about the difference between shrinking
to fit and expanding to lead. Honey, Yes, So I
used to be a master at reading rooms, adjusting accordingly
to corporate environments, meetings knowing how to tone it down, showing
(01:39):
up in a way that I felt was appropriate for brainstorms,
creative sessions, always holding a little bit back right, finding
the middle ground. I thought I was being professional, I
was adapting, I was being strategic, But what I was
actually doing was making myself smaller into spaces that weren't
(02:01):
designed for my full capacity. Honey, I was so good
at shrinking to fit that I hadn't leaned into what
it would feel like for me to expand, for me
to show up with my fullness, for me to lead,
for me to lead with my full personality, my grand ideas.
(02:27):
The turning point came for me during one of my
first meetings with a significant client that I had signed.
Once I started this more entrepreneurial journey and I was
out on my own, doing my own thing, and it
was a journey also to getting to the place where
I had to start to remind myself, you no longer
(02:49):
represent anyone else but yourself. So let's go back to
that time I signed this significant client and I brought
my full self to that first meeting, and they loved
it because that is what they were paying for. They
were paying for my sauce they were paying for my strategy,
my mind, my strengths, my delivery, and nothing that I
(03:15):
did felt too bold. It didn't feel too different. In fact,
I think for them it was refreshing. And that's when
I realized accommodating others isn't the same as abandoning yourself.
You never want to abandon yourself and some of the
(03:35):
core things that make you you, those are unique identifiers.
That is what can separate you from the pack. There's
a difference between adapting your communication style because that's important,
and you editing your capabilities, dumbing down what is possible
(03:57):
for you to execute on you more effective, and the
other makes you invisible. We all know the last thing
you want to be is invisible. So what exactly does
shrinking to fit in look like? I want to, you know,
just give you some things to think about. Paint a
little picture for you. It looks like you downplaying your
(04:19):
expertise to make others feel comfortable. It looks like you
apologizing for having strong opinions, for being passionate. It looks
like you staying quiet when you have a strong feeling
that your idea is fire. You might even have the
best idea in the room. It also looks like you
(04:41):
making yourself smaller so that others can feel bigger. I
feel like we've all been there. But now let's jump
to what expanding to lead looks like. What are some
examples of that. It's adapting your delivery without diluting your message.
(05:02):
It also looks like speaking with confidence while also remaining
open to other ideas and feedback. Expanding to lead also
looks like taking up space that your expertise, your years
of doing this work has earned you. And finally, it
looks like making room for others without making yourself smaller.
(05:26):
I think you're catching the theme right. No matter what,
we are not trying to shrink ourselves and dumb down
what we know. Your gifts, they need room to breathe.
When you constantly suppress your capabilities to fit into these
existing structures, you're not being considerate of other people. Actually,
(05:50):
if you think about it, you are being wasteful more
than anything. But I want to offer you some suggestions
on how you can sort of help calibrate yourself when
you're coming into these environments and you're like, Ooh, I
feel like I need to do something and get myself ready.
(06:12):
But I don't know what it is. So before every meeting,
every conversation, every professional interaction, I want you to ask
yourself this, how can I show up fully while showing
up appropriately? So what could this mean for you? It
could mean, prior to said interaction, you prepare your ideas
(06:37):
more thoroughly so that you can present them with confidence.
It could mean speaking with conviction while staying curious and
open to what others perspectives may be. Showing up appropriately
could mean claiming credit for your contributions with without diminishing
(07:01):
others' roles in said project or event, or whatever it is.
Showing up appropriately could also mean you being aware that
you need to set boundaries that protect your energy without
building walls around your potential impact. So the goal isn't
to be the cockiest, loudest person in the room who
(07:23):
thinks they have all the best ideas. The goal is
to be the most authentic version of yourself that that
particular room can handle, and that assessment of what they
can handle is totally up to you. Sometimes that means
educating the room about what you're capable of, where you
come from, how you have come to your views. Maybe
(07:45):
sometimes it means finding rooms that can handle your full capacity.
You get that right. It's not always trying to educate.
Sometimes it's finding the rooms that will welcome you as
you are. But it never means making yourself sip to
make others comfortable. So this week, I want to challenge
you to identify one recurring situation where you typically shrink
(08:11):
to fit in. Maybe it's meetings, Maybe it's conversations where
you downplay your accomplishments. Maybe it's decisions where you defer
to others despite you knowing exactly what to do and
having a strong instinct. This week, in those situations, experiment
with expanding instead of shrinking. Doesn't have to be a
(08:34):
dramatic play, right, just something that feels authentic to you.
Share the idea that you will usually keep to yourself.
Speak about your expertise without qualifying it. Take up the
space your expertise your years of knowledge have earned you.
Pay attention to what happens after you start doing this.
(08:56):
Most of the time, you'll start to see that people
were waiting for you to show up in this bigger way.
They may have been waiting for you to lead. They
may have known and had more confidence in your skill
set and your expertise than you did last week. Right,
(09:17):
They're not necessarily wondering if you're qualified. They're looking at
you saying, we've known that you've been qualified. We were
just waiting for you to own it. As we wrap up,
I want you to remember that your gifts can't impact
the people who need those gifts if those people can't
(09:38):
see those gifts. Thank you so much for spending time
with me today. I hope that you are ready to
go out there and shine with your gifts to share
with the world. To be mindful about how you show
up in spaces. And next week we're gonna be wrapping
up this series on playing small by talk talking about
(10:00):
the real cost of hiding your life. That's our time
this week until next week, be well,
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