February 27, 2025 • 10 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny about analyzing wars from 80 or 160 years in the future, monday morning quarterbacking, and judging 22 year old Ally Generals from our lounge chairs. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Talk Funny with Mark Bailey. We ended up in Japan
because apparently there are more than seven words, so you
cannot say on the radio. Thanks a lot, George Carlin,
and now the moment he's been waiting for, Talk Funny
with Mark Bailey, Mark.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Bailey, Talk Funny. What talks your host, Sandy Hook?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
What's the name that you Alex Jones?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Jones? He did his job. It worked a trademark. It's
a household name, you know.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
So actually Bill Hicks, right, yeah, really.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Good for doing a heroin overdose. He looks great. It
looks great. Daryl Cooper, I think we're about done with him.
I lean libertarian sometimes, but Dave Smith the problem I have.
He completely went in with Daryl Cooper and it's World
War two analysis, and I call it backseat driver, backseat
driver historian. It's like, yeah, we know how it turned
(00:55):
out now, so now we could say, you know, Hiroshima
nuclear bomb might have been necessary, not a suck. He wasn't.
But you weren't a lived then and you weren't making
the decisions. Yeah, you didn't know if Japan was going
to win or not.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
But a lot of people like to do that kind
of counterfactual kind of thing. Well, you know, I don't know.
I'm against both of those bombings, but you know, but.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We didn't have to make that decision. Yeah, we might
have made that decision. Well, you don't know. I don't
know what decision I would make.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
If alive in nineteen forty three, I would be progressive,
and you know, I would look.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
At the people.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
All the people of the world is deserving humanity and rights.
And I would not be racist in any way because
if you were, you know, because that's me right, and
I would not you.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Know, you no, if you were alive in nineteen forty three,
we'd be having a podcast on the internet.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
If I were left during the Civil War in the South,
I would be against slavery.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Obviously, right after you spoke out against slavery, I would
advite you to our podcast studio. It's in eighteen sixty two.
And then he would say, Mark, I just want to say, imagine,
there's no it. It's not hard to do in hindsight. Yeah,
Monday morning quarterback. Yeah, it's like, we look back now
and we know that we won the war. The Allies
(02:10):
won the war, so we could have done less to win.
But when you're in it, right, Michael. You were driving
through a hailstorm in Japan when you were driving us
back home from the goa comedy, and you swerved to
avoid a deer up in the GIFU. But when you swerved,
you hurt my neck. When you did that, you didn't
(02:32):
have to swerve, that's right, Yeah, I didn't have to kill.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
We weren't going to hit the deer, right, No.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We weren't going to hit it. So if you didn't swerve,
wouldn't Yeah, But if I didn't swerve, we'd all be dead. Yeah,
and we'd have antlers in our in our skulls. But
your neck wouldn't hurt, right, It's like, yeah, you could
look back and go, yeah, you could have done it
better that way. You could have, but you're you're an
eighteen year old soldier starving. It's killed or be killed.
(02:59):
You didn't have to kill both of them. You could
have killed one and you would have got in the movie.
You got away anyway in the movie. Yeah, But if
I had gotten a shot, there'd be no movie, no story.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I'd say, I'd say it's I'd say that I think
it's good in a way that people are looking back
at the history of World War Two and questioning that,
questioning things that the Allies did because we can now
because the people served there Dresden, things like that people
who served there are passed away. Now now we can
look back the same thing with the First World War.
Like for a long time you couldn't say anything about
(03:31):
the First World War, and now people are like, yeah,
this was horrible, this was this, But that doesn't mean that.
That doesn't mean that, like the reason that it was
fought was wrong. That doesn't mean that you know that
the Nazis were good people. I mean, come on, like
this is turning it around that way is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Well, the thing with Dresden, which now I think people
agree it was probably a war crime, killed a lot
of incent people. But you weren't there. I wasn't there,
and you're a pilot, you're a general, and you're twenty
eight years old and you are general and you have
to make that decision. And we know that Germany lost war, right,
they didn't know, Yes, you're fighting for your life.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And they also but it was it was like they
came over, they bombed London and now we're gonna go
give it to it to them right, And so that
was the way they were thinking.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It's eighty years later, it's easy to you had eighty
years to study this. Right when it happened to them
on Tuesday ninth, they didn't have any years to study it.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
And probably most people would agree one hundred percent with
that decision back then because they're like, we're total war.
We have to win. Maybe if we're not, maybe if
we're lax, we're not going to win. Right.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
The same thing with Nangasaki. It's like there are a
lot of Christians that died right because the.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Bomb went off over the church.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
But who knew that. People didn't know.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
That well, it was the secondary target. There wasn't even
supposed to be bombed. They didn't know they were supposed
to bomb. Also, number three was the gay number three wow.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Because it was actually said Toyota wow. But that would
have been the thing is then have time to think
about where the Christians, where, the Muslims, where the Jews.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Were well and the place be honest, I mean, at
the time, they wanted to test the weapon. They wanted
to see if it worked, and they wanted to drop
it on a drop it on a major population population
center to see if it worked and.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
We didn't care, didn't care, and now we know.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
So I'm not going to defend the decision, but I
understand the consciousness and the way they were thinking the
same thing we were talking about. Resident They're like, we
have to do everything possible to win, right, So I
understand that, But at the same time, I disagree with
the decision. But hey, I do that in hindsight. Right.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
But Mike, let's Monday Morning Quarterback our podcasts. Okay, one
hundred years from now, people in India are still listening
to our podcasts.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And they still want to know if Samon Gravano was
in the Barbazon Hotel and.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
They're like, you know, Sami Gravano was, you know, and
he's trying to do good. It's like one hundred years ago,
if I was on the podcast with Mike, I wouldn't
have done that. Yeah, but you weren't here. You weren't here,
and I wouldn't have made all those Steve jokes. But
you weren't here. You weren't here at the time. It
seems appropriate.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Yeah, so I could see, like, I think you have to.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I think both are fine. I think it's fine to
it's fine to disagree with something that happened in history,
but at the same time, it's also important to look
back and examine the reasons why people in that time
thought the way they did.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Right, And I'd like to add that, Yeah, you look
back and you could analyze something. Dresden was like one
day and now we've analyzed it for like eighty years. Okay,
so if you had eighty years to analyze what you're
gonna do tomorrow, you would do a great You might
act differently, right, but it's like, yeah, when you look
(06:38):
back on it, it looks obvious, but you were twenty three,
you were told to do something, you were hungry, you
thought you were gonna die, you thought Germany's gonna win,
so you're gonna do that, you know, And it's like, yeah,
you can look back eighty years later and critick everything.
And what I wanted to push back on is it's
not the crap on the hero and the people. They
(07:02):
might have done what we would have done. They probably
did what we would have done. It's easy to say
I would have never done that, I would have never
been in I would have never been in that.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And we were joking about the idea that when you
were in that time, you would somehow be great, you
would have the same consciousness we do now.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
To us credit. Bill Maher has said that it's like,
you know, people making fun of Abu saying Abu is
racist and the Simpsons in nineteen eighty nine, it wasn't racist,
it was just funny. And you weren't alive, you weren't
there any nineteen.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Eighty There so many things that were considered funny back
in the day that you look back on now and
you're like, that's just so cringe. Like, what's the other
one that Have you ever seen that British show about
the English teacher teaching all these people coming to Britain
and English, But it is just so you watch it
now and you're just like, oh my god. But you know,
that's the way people thought. They thought that was funny
back then.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So what I was gonna say is, it's not too
crap on the people that did. They did what they did,
and we're a free country because what they did, they
thought Germany and Japan was gonna win, and it was.
It was more than fifty to fifty. It was really
really on the line.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Nobody knew well, they were pushback. You know, everyone thinks
after after like D Day, that the Allies just waltzed
into German No, there was the pushback. I forget the
Battle of the Bulge, right, The Germans pushed back and
there were some massive setbacks. So they were fighting hard.
And so you know, you can understand why people would
think that they need extreme measures in those times. But
at the same time, you know, we have that benefit
(08:25):
of hindsight to look back, and hopefully looking back. I
would say by looking back and being with a more
critical eye, we can make better decisions in the future.
But like we say, we shouldn't second guests and say,
well you should have known that, Well they didn't know,
like a lot of these things.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That's my point is not the crap on those people,
But in the future we realize that that wasn't the
best decision. And maybe before you drop a nuclear bomb,
considered this right. But when you make that decision, remember
in eighty years after, when if this happens twenty twenty six, whatever,
in eighty years from that, they're gonna second guess you.
(08:59):
You see how feels. So Mike decided not to swerve,
and everybody in the Goyal comedy died in a fan Well,
you know, eighty years later he should have swerved. Okay,
can I tell you now? The truth is he actually
did swave. You know what, we can't blame for that too.
They should have served.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
It's like, so you know this Cheryl Cooper, eighty years
from now, we're gonna say he was a genius, funny
should it should have critiqued him, Nazi, he was right
about everything. And then eighty years later he said those
people that said that The Going Comedy was wrong, they
were actually right. I mean eighty years later it's like,
(09:39):
you know, in the Client Comedy, he's like the mafia.
He's never existed. Just it's still it's a myth. It's
a myth. You look at your Pecco cut. It looks
like a myth. It looks like it's not real. Look
at your PEG account, Micha, that you took it today. Yeah,
you know, to go a comedy real? I can't tell.
I can't tell, Mark Bailey, Mike Going Buck money
Talk Funny with Mark Bailey. We ended up in Japan
because apparently there are more than seven words, so you
cannot say on the radio. Thanks a lot, George Carlin,
and now the moment he's been waiting for, Talk Funny
with Mark Bailey, Mark.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Bailey, Talk Funny. What talks your host, Sandy Hook?
Speaker 3 (00:20):
What's the name that you Alex Jones?
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Jones? He did his job. It worked a trademark. It's
a household name, you know.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
So actually Bill Hicks, right, yeah, really.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Good for doing a heroin overdose. He looks great. It
looks great. Daryl Cooper, I think we're about done with him.
I lean libertarian sometimes, but Dave Smith the problem I have.
He completely went in with Daryl Cooper and it's World
War two analysis, and I call it backseat driver, backseat
driver historian. It's like, yeah, we know how it turned
(00:55):
out now, so now we could say, you know, Hiroshima
nuclear bomb might have been necessary, not a suck. He wasn't.
But you weren't a lived then and you weren't making
the decisions. Yeah, you didn't know if Japan was going
to win or not.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
But a lot of people like to do that kind
of counterfactual kind of thing. Well, you know, I don't know.
I'm against both of those bombings, but you know, but.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
We didn't have to make that decision. Yeah, we might
have made that decision. Well, you don't know. I don't
know what decision I would make.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
If alive in nineteen forty three, I would be progressive,
and you know, I would look.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
At the people.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
All the people of the world is deserving humanity and rights.
And I would not be racist in any way because
if you were, you know, because that's me right, and
I would not you.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Know, you no, if you were alive in nineteen forty three,
we'd be having a podcast on the internet.
Speaker 3 (01:44):
If I were left during the Civil War in the South,
I would be against slavery.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Obviously, right after you spoke out against slavery, I would
advite you to our podcast studio. It's in eighteen sixty two.
And then he would say, Mark, I just want to say, imagine,
there's no it. It's not hard to do in hindsight. Yeah,
Monday morning quarterback. Yeah, it's like, we look back now
and we know that we won the war. The Allies
(02:10):
won the war, so we could have done less to win.
But when you're in it, right, Michael. You were driving
through a hailstorm in Japan when you were driving us
back home from the goa comedy, and you swerved to
avoid a deer up in the GIFU. But when you swerved,
you hurt my neck. When you did that, you didn't
(02:32):
have to swerve, that's right, Yeah, I didn't have to kill.
Speaker 3 (02:34):
We weren't going to hit the deer, right, No.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
We weren't going to hit it. So if you didn't swerve,
wouldn't Yeah, But if I didn't swerve, we'd all be dead. Yeah,
and we'd have antlers in our in our skulls. But
your neck wouldn't hurt, right, It's like, yeah, you could
look back and go, yeah, you could have done it
better that way. You could have, but you're you're an
eighteen year old soldier starving. It's killed or be killed.
(02:59):
You didn't have to kill both of them. You could
have killed one and you would have got in the movie.
You got away anyway in the movie. Yeah, But if
I had gotten a shot, there'd be no movie, no story.
Speaker 3 (03:11):
I'd say, I'd say it's I'd say that I think
it's good in a way that people are looking back
at the history of World War Two and questioning that,
questioning things that the Allies did because we can now
because the people served there Dresden, things like that people
who served there are passed away. Now now we can
look back the same thing with the First World War.
Like for a long time you couldn't say anything about
(03:31):
the First World War, and now people are like, yeah,
this was horrible, this was this, But that doesn't mean that.
That doesn't mean that, like the reason that it was
fought was wrong. That doesn't mean that you know that
the Nazis were good people. I mean, come on, like
this is turning it around that way is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Well, the thing with Dresden, which now I think people
agree it was probably a war crime, killed a lot
of incent people. But you weren't there. I wasn't there,
and you're a pilot, you're a general, and you're twenty
eight years old and you are general and you have
to make that decision. And we know that Germany lost war, right,
they didn't know, Yes, you're fighting for your life.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
And they also but it was it was like they
came over, they bombed London and now we're gonna go
give it to it to them right, And so that
was the way they were thinking.
Speaker 2 (04:17):
It's eighty years later, it's easy to you had eighty
years to study this. Right when it happened to them
on Tuesday ninth, they didn't have any years to study it.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
And probably most people would agree one hundred percent with
that decision back then because they're like, we're total war.
We have to win. Maybe if we're not, maybe if
we're lax, we're not going to win. Right.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
The same thing with Nangasaki. It's like there are a
lot of Christians that died right because the.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Bomb went off over the church.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
But who knew that. People didn't know.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
That well, it was the secondary target. There wasn't even
supposed to be bombed. They didn't know they were supposed
to bomb. Also, number three was the gay number three wow.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Because it was actually said Toyota wow. But that would
have been the thing is then have time to think
about where the Christians, where, the Muslims, where the Jews.
Speaker 3 (05:03):
Were well and the place be honest, I mean, at
the time, they wanted to test the weapon. They wanted
to see if it worked, and they wanted to drop
it on a drop it on a major population population
center to see if it worked and.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
We didn't care, didn't care, and now we know.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
So I'm not going to defend the decision, but I
understand the consciousness and the way they were thinking the
same thing we were talking about. Resident They're like, we
have to do everything possible to win, right, So I
understand that, But at the same time, I disagree with
the decision. But hey, I do that in hindsight. Right.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
But Mike, let's Monday Morning Quarterback our podcasts. Okay, one
hundred years from now, people in India are still listening
to our podcasts.
Speaker 3 (05:40):
And they still want to know if Samon Gravano was
in the Barbazon Hotel and.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
They're like, you know, Sami Gravano was, you know, and
he's trying to do good. It's like one hundred years ago,
if I was on the podcast with Mike, I wouldn't
have done that. Yeah, but you weren't here. You weren't here,
and I wouldn't have made all those Steve jokes. But
you weren't here. You weren't here at the time. It
seems appropriate.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Yeah, so I could see, like, I think you have to.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
I think both are fine. I think it's fine to
it's fine to disagree with something that happened in history,
but at the same time, it's also important to look
back and examine the reasons why people in that time
thought the way they did.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Right, And I'd like to add that, Yeah, you look
back and you could analyze something. Dresden was like one
day and now we've analyzed it for like eighty years. Okay,
so if you had eighty years to analyze what you're
gonna do tomorrow, you would do a great You might
act differently, right, but it's like, yeah, when you look
(06:38):
back on it, it looks obvious, but you were twenty three,
you were told to do something, you were hungry, you
thought you were gonna die, you thought Germany's gonna win,
so you're gonna do that, you know, And it's like, yeah,
you can look back eighty years later and critick everything.
And what I wanted to push back on is it's
not the crap on the hero and the people. They
(07:02):
might have done what we would have done. They probably
did what we would have done. It's easy to say
I would have never done that, I would have never
been in I would have never been in that.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
And we were joking about the idea that when you
were in that time, you would somehow be great, you
would have the same consciousness we do now.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
To us credit. Bill Maher has said that it's like,
you know, people making fun of Abu saying Abu is
racist and the Simpsons in nineteen eighty nine, it wasn't racist,
it was just funny. And you weren't alive, you weren't
there any nineteen.
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Eighty There so many things that were considered funny back
in the day that you look back on now and
you're like, that's just so cringe. Like, what's the other
one that Have you ever seen that British show about
the English teacher teaching all these people coming to Britain
and English, But it is just so you watch it
now and you're just like, oh my god. But you know,
that's the way people thought. They thought that was funny
back then.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
So what I was gonna say is, it's not too
crap on the people that did. They did what they did,
and we're a free country because what they did, they
thought Germany and Japan was gonna win, and it was.
It was more than fifty to fifty. It was really
really on the line.
Speaker 3 (08:05):
Nobody knew well, they were pushback. You know, everyone thinks
after after like D Day, that the Allies just waltzed
into German No, there was the pushback. I forget the
Battle of the Bulge, right, The Germans pushed back and
there were some massive setbacks. So they were fighting hard.
And so you know, you can understand why people would
think that they need extreme measures in those times. But
at the same time, you know, we have that benefit
(08:25):
of hindsight to look back, and hopefully looking back. I
would say by looking back and being with a more
critical eye, we can make better decisions in the future.
But like we say, we shouldn't second guests and say,
well you should have known that, Well they didn't know,
like a lot of these things.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That's my point is not the crap on those people,
But in the future we realize that that wasn't the
best decision. And maybe before you drop a nuclear bomb,
considered this right. But when you make that decision, remember
in eighty years after, when if this happens twenty twenty six, whatever,
in eighty years from that, they're gonna second guess you.
(08:59):
You see how feels. So Mike decided not to swerve,
and everybody in the Goyal comedy died in a fan Well,
you know, eighty years later he should have swerved. Okay,
can I tell you now? The truth is he actually
did swave. You know what, we can't blame for that too.
They should have served.
Speaker 3 (09:18):
You know.
Speaker 2 (09:18):
It's like, so you know this Cheryl Cooper, eighty years
from now, we're gonna say he was a genius, funny
should it should have critiqued him, Nazi, he was right
about everything. And then eighty years later he said those
people that said that The Going Comedy was wrong, they
were actually right. I mean eighty years later it's like,
(09:39):
you know, in the Client Comedy, he's like the mafia.
He's never existed. Just it's still it's a myth. It's
a myth. You look at your Pecco cut. It looks
like a myth. It looks like it's not real. Look
at your PEG account, Micha, that you took it today. Yeah,
you know, to go a comedy real? I can't tell.
I can't tell, Mark Bailey, Mike Going Buck money
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