April 10, 2025 • 10 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny about advice people give you now when the story was in a world with no smartphones, Mark explains treppenwitz, l'esprit de l'escalier, things I should have said, Mark's shirt stories, in Japan the process is the punishment, and Mark's examples of ideas we don't have words for in English. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from l Over. We ended up in Japan because
we wanted to see a place where foreigners are expected
to do jobs that Japanese will not do, like going
to prison for a business fraud. The Talk Funny podcast
from Nagoya Radio, Dot Comedy, Nagoia Comedy. Here's Mark Bailey, Mark.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Bailey, Mike Miller and Talk Funny. Previous episode, we were
talking about the janitor who's threatening me on the stairs
and he's saying he's gonna wipe my face for the
floor if I don't mop up the mess I made
on his wax floor. But I tell this story now
we're talking about revisionist history and they're like, no, man,
you should have like given him the bird and then
you should have called the cops, called the cops in
(00:44):
nineteen seventy eight with what yeah, exactly, with my DM
my head. Yeah, there's no phones. Yeah, the payphone is
like eighth of a mile away.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yeah, the payphone.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You should have just called HR with what? No, man,
I wouldn't have done that. It's like, what's a comedian?
He said? Black guys who weren't on the planes of
nine to eleven, saying, no man, no way, that plane
would have gone down. If I was on that plane.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I don't know who.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
No amen, it might have been Chris Rock. No waymen,
that plane would have gone down. I would have taken that.
But you didn't know the plane was going down, right,
You didn't know you're hitting the World Treads Center right now.
But I would have if I was on that plane.
There were black people on the plane, right There were
black people on that plane. There were black people in
the World Triad Center. None of them stopped it. Unfortunately,
the offense there. Yeah, I would have known.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I would have known you well, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Which reminds me of a phrase I used to I
thought I coined it, but it actually comes from Yiddish,
and I re remembered called I called him. Should have
said so when that person have called me, I should
have said this. But think In German and Yiddish it's
called treppenfitz, which means stare wits wits on the.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Stairs, Yes, as you're walking away or running away.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
In French it's called a pretty I didn't know that
spirit of the stairs when you're walking up or down
the stairs. Didn't you remember remember you think I should
have said that and then you could go back up
the stairs, But you don't.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I think it's a new new This is like a
new bit for you things I should have said.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, But I get those where I meet Josie, you know,
a friend of ours after a long time, and he
says something like after eight years, he says something like, hey,
get to see again. Nice shirt. I'm like, did he
really light my shirt? Or is that a dig? Or why? Why?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
What's wrong with my shirt?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
But what's wrong? Was it a nice shirt? Why would
he say? If it was a nice shirt, he would
not have said that. It's effing with your head and
you're walking down the street and you're talking to yourself
and people like, who do is I? People like, shut up?
I'm like, what's wrong with my shirt? It's wrong? Same
thing with with our friends who is wearing a surgical gown.
(02:58):
And I made fun of him at a beer festival,
and then I worked with him at a higher institutional
learning and two years later he was still stewing about it.
And he walked up with a normal shirt and he goes,
so I let my shirt mark And I didn't even
remember this. I said, yeah, it looks yeah nice, Why
oh now you let my shirt? Two years ago at
(03:20):
the beer festival you had you had a very very funny,
very funny my friend.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Wow, you were living two years rent free in his.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Mind, exactly, very funny, my friend, is it funny? Now?
I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
So I'm walking down the street and look. A day later,
I'm like, oh, yeah, because I made fun of his small.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Because I remember I was there that day together.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, said what time you gotta be in surgery?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
It looked like he was off to surgery or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Should he be drinking beer before surgery? He said, what's
the matter with this? I said, that's a smock from
from university. Yeah, and he goes, no, it's not. I said,
it is. It has Muka Puka on the back, Muka
Puka University, University. Things I should have said. There's a
bit I used to do about ideas that we don't
have a word for it in English. They have different languages,
(04:09):
and I did some in my comedy set in New York.
They like that I have one for Arapaho. Phrases you
say in Arapaho, which is a native language that you
don't say in English, which is why are the slot
machines in the front. They should be in the back.
North Korea Phrases they say in North Korean that we
(04:29):
don't say in English, as foreigners find North Korean a
difficult dialect to learn because they are used to food.
Swedish phrases that we don't usually say in English, but
they say all the time in Swedish. Is what are
you doing? Man? That's illegal? I said, put it in
her volvo, not her volvo.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Dear, oh my lord?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So these are real?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Are you sure you should have said that. I don't
know if you should have said that.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
These are real? In Korean, it's a word. It's not
the monetary unit, but it's called one yeah, and it
means it means an unwillingness to let go of an illusion. Basically,
an ex girlfriend. She really loved you, even though she
broke up with you. She was mistaken, but she she
didn't want to break up with you, but she did.
But she was wrong. You were wrong. You didn't do
(05:20):
anything wrong. You didn't anything. So that's called one one.
Dalai Mama taught me bardo. Bardo is the gap between
when you were born, and after you die.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
That's that's when you're in the purgatory or whatever whatever.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
And I'm thinking, that's like when I'm trying to pay
the bar bill or the McDonald's bill, when you go there.
That's that seems like it seems like what do you
call it? It seems like.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Limbo, Bardo and limbo sounds similar, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
It sounds like limbo to me. Unique words that we
don't say in English. There's a good one we actually
say this in sicily Ani means attacker. Buttons on your shirt.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
It means your buttons or you're un buttoned.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Somebody button holds you at a party. That's where buttonhole
comes from.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I see.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So Larry David has some great stories about this. He said,
you should have you know, you end up you walk
into a party and the guy at the front has
been already dissed by everybody didn't want to talk to him.
So he's at the front and he's waiting for New Right,
and so he said, you need actually a party coach
to come down and go all right, you've been talking
to this guy for two minutes. You don't even know him.
(06:30):
He's not interested in you. He thinks you're boring. Move on.
So that's Larry David's idea. But Taka Tony is somebody
who you walk in and you can't get it out
of the conversation.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like you.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
You know, I wanted to actually wanted to meet some girls.
Yeah you you were on radio eye, So how was
radio intended? You know, I'd really like to get I'd
like to get some shrimp or something over here. You know,
we called him buttonholes show. Oh, here's a good one.
It's you before. In Yiddish you have the the schmuck, right,
(07:03):
and he's an idiot in the shamil slime is klutz.
And so you'll have in Yiddish or Hebrews, they'll tell
a story and they'll say stumb. So I'm doing my jokes,
I'm on stage, and then stumb some Austorian lady in right, stump.
So it happened because it's bad luck. It happened because it's.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Bad luck because like the trend was going in a
bad direction, so it had to happen. Kind of yeah,
it's it's inevitable.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
It's inevitable happened. And then the other one is dovka. Yeah,
they told me I could be an English school manager,
and I thought sounds good. But I'm a schmuck, so
do I accepted the job and then my life went
to crap with the s dovka, rightm is happened? I
(07:57):
didn't see coming? Is you shouldn't know?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You should?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Is that? Is that?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Also? Is that Russian?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Both? It's no, it's Yiddish and Hebrew. You have one
in Sicilian, which is basically box sheets. If you go
to mid East, its cash rewards, Like Mike, is it
exit to my exit one sixty two? And then you
go hang on, hang on revenue thumbs together. Buck, she's
(08:28):
for what Mike told you the answer? So Buck, she's no,
we're friend. I thought we were friends. No, but we
are friends my friends. But you're going to help me out.
You gotta help. You gotta help help a pimp out,
you know what I mean. No, you just answered the question.
(08:49):
So the next time I asked you a question. So
then the next day you're like, did you get home? Okay,
I'm like, yeah, I did, Buck, shee's I answered the question.
I answered the question, and now you do what I
tell you. Now you do what they tell you, all right,
oh I love this one. This is for portskite. Forkite
means it's basically what we're doing with narration or bureaucracies
(09:15):
in whiskals. There's a little little bitty honey problem, so
we need to fix it. So create we create eleven
more problems. So now it's a lot harder. Like when
I forgot to sign in one day, then we had
to have a Saturday seven hours and on how to
sign It's like, I really wish I had never done
(09:36):
that little tiny misscrepancy because I paid seven hours. Because
what do they say? The process is the punishment.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
The process is the punishment. That's a good saying, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You don't get penalized, but you have to come to seven.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Hours seminar about why you do what you do.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Are you going to do that again? Mike? You know
I'm definitely not gonna do anything.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Did you learn your lesson process?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
There's something wrong? No, you didn't do anything wrong, it's
just you and informed. Did you get the memo? If
you got the memo, that'd be great, that'd be grey.
And so the process is the punishment, said, what happens
if I do it again? Well, next time is gonna
be fourteen hours or something? On how to sign my name?
On how to sign my name, who's a better expert?
(10:17):
How to sign my name to the name? Do I
have to show you? Mark Bailey, Mark Miller talk funny,
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from l Over. We ended up in Japan because
we wanted to see a place where foreigners are expected
to do jobs that Japanese will not do, like going
to prison for a business fraud. The Talk Funny podcast
from Nagoya Radio, Dot Comedy, Nagoia Comedy. Here's Mark Bailey, Mark.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Bailey, Mike Miller and Talk Funny. Previous episode, we were
talking about the janitor who's threatening me on the stairs
and he's saying he's gonna wipe my face for the
floor if I don't mop up the mess I made
on his wax floor. But I tell this story now
we're talking about revisionist history and they're like, no, man,
you should have like given him the bird and then
you should have called the cops, called the cops in
(00:44):
nineteen seventy eight with what yeah, exactly, with my DM
my head. Yeah, there's no phones. Yeah, the payphone is
like eighth of a mile away.
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yeah, the payphone.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
You should have just called HR with what? No, man,
I wouldn't have done that. It's like, what's a comedian?
He said? Black guys who weren't on the planes of
nine to eleven, saying, no man, no way, that plane
would have gone down. If I was on that plane.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
I don't know who.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
No amen, it might have been Chris Rock. No waymen,
that plane would have gone down. I would have taken that.
But you didn't know the plane was going down, right,
You didn't know you're hitting the World Treads Center right now.
But I would have if I was on that plane.
There were black people on the plane, right There were
black people on that plane. There were black people in
the World Triad Center. None of them stopped it. Unfortunately,
the offense there. Yeah, I would have known.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
I would have known you well, okay.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Which reminds me of a phrase I used to I
thought I coined it, but it actually comes from Yiddish,
and I re remembered called I called him. Should have
said so when that person have called me, I should
have said this. But think In German and Yiddish it's
called treppenfitz, which means stare wits wits on the.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Stairs, Yes, as you're walking away or running away.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
In French it's called a pretty I didn't know that
spirit of the stairs when you're walking up or down
the stairs. Didn't you remember remember you think I should
have said that and then you could go back up
the stairs, But you don't.
Speaker 3 (02:13):
I think it's a new new This is like a
new bit for you things I should have said.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah, But I get those where I meet Josie, you know,
a friend of ours after a long time, and he
says something like after eight years, he says something like, hey,
get to see again. Nice shirt. I'm like, did he
really light my shirt? Or is that a dig? Or why? Why?
Speaker 3 (02:35):
What's wrong with my shirt?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
But what's wrong? Was it a nice shirt? Why would
he say? If it was a nice shirt, he would
not have said that. It's effing with your head and
you're walking down the street and you're talking to yourself
and people like, who do is I? People like, shut up?
I'm like, what's wrong with my shirt? It's wrong? Same
thing with with our friends who is wearing a surgical gown.
(02:58):
And I made fun of him at a beer festival,
and then I worked with him at a higher institutional
learning and two years later he was still stewing about it.
And he walked up with a normal shirt and he goes,
so I let my shirt mark And I didn't even
remember this. I said, yeah, it looks yeah nice, Why
oh now you let my shirt? Two years ago at
(03:20):
the beer festival you had you had a very very funny,
very funny my friend.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
Wow, you were living two years rent free in his.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Mind, exactly, very funny, my friend, is it funny? Now?
I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking about.
So I'm walking down the street and look. A day later,
I'm like, oh, yeah, because I made fun of his small.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Because I remember I was there that day together.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Yeah, said what time you gotta be in surgery?
Speaker 3 (03:44):
It looked like he was off to surgery or something
like that.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Should he be drinking beer before surgery? He said, what's
the matter with this? I said, that's a smock from
from university. Yeah, and he goes, no, it's not. I said,
it is. It has Muka Puka on the back, Muka
Puka University, University. Things I should have said. There's a
bit I used to do about ideas that we don't
have a word for it in English. They have different languages,
(04:09):
and I did some in my comedy set in New York.
They like that I have one for Arapaho. Phrases you
say in Arapaho, which is a native language that you
don't say in English, which is why are the slot
machines in the front. They should be in the back.
North Korea Phrases they say in North Korean that we
(04:29):
don't say in English, as foreigners find North Korean a
difficult dialect to learn because they are used to food.
Swedish phrases that we don't usually say in English, but
they say all the time in Swedish. Is what are
you doing? Man? That's illegal? I said, put it in
her volvo, not her volvo.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Dear, oh my lord?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
So these are real?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Are you sure you should have said that. I don't
know if you should have said that.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
These are real? In Korean, it's a word. It's not
the monetary unit, but it's called one yeah, and it
means it means an unwillingness to let go of an illusion. Basically,
an ex girlfriend. She really loved you, even though she
broke up with you. She was mistaken, but she she
didn't want to break up with you, but she did.
But she was wrong. You were wrong. You didn't do
(05:20):
anything wrong. You didn't anything. So that's called one one.
Dalai Mama taught me bardo. Bardo is the gap between
when you were born, and after you die.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
That's that's when you're in the purgatory or whatever whatever.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
And I'm thinking, that's like when I'm trying to pay
the bar bill or the McDonald's bill, when you go there.
That's that seems like it seems like what do you
call it? It seems like.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
Limbo, Bardo and limbo sounds similar, doesn't.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
It sounds like limbo to me. Unique words that we
don't say in English. There's a good one we actually
say this in sicily Ani means attacker. Buttons on your shirt.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
It means your buttons or you're un buttoned.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Somebody button holds you at a party. That's where buttonhole
comes from.
Speaker 3 (06:09):
I see.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
So Larry David has some great stories about this. He said,
you should have you know, you end up you walk
into a party and the guy at the front has
been already dissed by everybody didn't want to talk to him.
So he's at the front and he's waiting for New Right,
and so he said, you need actually a party coach
to come down and go all right, you've been talking
to this guy for two minutes. You don't even know him.
(06:30):
He's not interested in you. He thinks you're boring. Move on.
So that's Larry David's idea. But Taka Tony is somebody
who you walk in and you can't get it out
of the conversation.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like you.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
You know, I wanted to actually wanted to meet some girls.
Yeah you you were on radio eye, So how was
radio intended? You know, I'd really like to get I'd
like to get some shrimp or something over here. You know,
we called him buttonholes show. Oh, here's a good one.
It's you before. In Yiddish you have the the schmuck, right,
(07:03):
and he's an idiot in the shamil slime is klutz.
And so you'll have in Yiddish or Hebrews, they'll tell
a story and they'll say stumb. So I'm doing my jokes,
I'm on stage, and then stumb some Austorian lady in right, stump.
So it happened because it's bad luck. It happened because it's.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Bad luck because like the trend was going in a
bad direction, so it had to happen. Kind of yeah,
it's it's inevitable.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
It's inevitable happened. And then the other one is dovka. Yeah,
they told me I could be an English school manager,
and I thought sounds good. But I'm a schmuck, so
do I accepted the job and then my life went
to crap with the s dovka, rightm is happened? I
(07:57):
didn't see coming? Is you shouldn't know?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You should?
Speaker 1 (08:03):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Is that? Is that?
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Also? Is that Russian?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Both? It's no, it's Yiddish and Hebrew. You have one
in Sicilian, which is basically box sheets. If you go
to mid East, its cash rewards, Like Mike, is it
exit to my exit one sixty two? And then you
go hang on, hang on revenue thumbs together. Buck, she's
(08:28):
for what Mike told you the answer? So Buck, she's no,
we're friend. I thought we were friends. No, but we
are friends my friends. But you're going to help me out.
You gotta help. You gotta help help a pimp out,
you know what I mean. No, you just answered the question.
(08:49):
So the next time I asked you a question. So
then the next day you're like, did you get home? Okay,
I'm like, yeah, I did, Buck, shee's I answered the question.
I answered the question, and now you do what I
tell you. Now you do what they tell you, all right,
oh I love this one. This is for portskite. Forkite
means it's basically what we're doing with narration or bureaucracies
(09:15):
in whiskals. There's a little little bitty honey problem, so
we need to fix it. So create we create eleven
more problems. So now it's a lot harder. Like when
I forgot to sign in one day, then we had
to have a Saturday seven hours and on how to
sign It's like, I really wish I had never done
(09:36):
that little tiny misscrepancy because I paid seven hours. Because
what do they say? The process is the punishment.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
The process is the punishment. That's a good saying, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
You don't get penalized, but you have to come to seven.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
Hours seminar about why you do what you do.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Are you going to do that again? Mike? You know
I'm definitely not gonna do anything.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
Did you learn your lesson process?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
There's something wrong? No, you didn't do anything wrong, it's
just you and informed. Did you get the memo? If
you got the memo, that'd be great, that'd be grey.
And so the process is the punishment, said, what happens
if I do it again? Well, next time is gonna
be fourteen hours or something? On how to sign my name?
On how to sign my name, who's a better expert?
(10:17):
How to sign my name to the name? Do I
have to show you? Mark Bailey, Mark Miller talk funny,
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