May 8, 2025 • 9 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny about about how Mark became a comic from age 6, kindergarten in Sicily, Mark teaches Sicilian dialect, how Mark and his 6 year old buddies caused chaos in first grade using non-obscene obscenities, why Mark can't stop watching cop videos, and how Mark heard about Richard Pryor in first grade. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We came to Japan to get
away from those mostly peaceful protests, fires and riots. Thanks
for Nothing, CNN the Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio
Dot comed Nagoia Comedy. Here's Mark Bailey, Mark.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Bailey, Mike Miller on Talk Funny. So I was alluding
to it. I never got to it, Mike. But I
was raised in Sicily from age like six months to
five and a half years in a Jewish kindergarten. We
didn't learn to read. We couldn't read, but we learned Latin,
Italian centered Italian, Sicilian, French, Greek, but not English. And
(00:43):
then suddenly my parents decided we're going to New York,
going back to go to New York. So I didn't
learn English. I couldn't speak well. My mom spoke to
me in Hebrew and Yiddish. My dad spoke to me
in Italian. We go to New York and by the way,
you have to speak English.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
What's what's this? Did you know English? Yeah? We did?
Here doesn't tell me. In five years you can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So I sat in the back as all bad students
do in the first grade. I don't know what first
grade is. Yeah, and we're sitting in the back and
the teacher, Miss Purgas, I can't understand her, said Charlie
Brown's teacher.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
So I found other other six year olds that look confused.
One of them was a black guy who was illiterate
and couldn't speak well.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
His name is.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Carl He was Haitian and he could speak English well.
And then there's a Japanese guy. It's amazing I still
remember their names. His name is Leslie and Chinese guy's
name was Weslie. So I'm talking to them and I'm like,
the Leslie guy from Japan, I'm like, can you tell
me how to how to count the five from Japanese?
He said, kid, you write that down. He goes, I
(01:54):
could write it, but you can't read it. Teacher write
I c hi. He goes, I don't know how to
write that. And then the Wesley guy from China, and
they said, oh, that's cool. So how do you say
that's right? He goes, ship ship, And how do you
say that's not right? He goes bullshit, And I said,
here's my mom's flowers. She likes hyacinths. How do you
(02:16):
say that in Chinese? He goes, fuck you. I'm like,
fuck you, fuck you. He goes, no, the tone is bad,
fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
So oh my.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So then the teacher's yapping along and they said, well,
how do you say an Italian?
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Like?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I said, fuck a fuck a fuck a fucking k
fucking so you're gonnaki fucking fuck you ship bullshit. Finally,
Miss prejudic, it's a huge for sixty people.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Wow. She drops her mic and comes back to the
what is this chaos going on?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Like?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I don't know? You know what? She said?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Ki fu fuck a fucking fuck you. She said, I don't.
I don't know this nasty stuff. But you gotta stop
the nasty words.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Somebody.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
We don't. We don't understand what you're saying. What are
your comedian? It's a fucking comedian, fuck guy, comedian what
means also means what it means, fucking comedian. She's gonna
stop saying that. Fuck a k stop saying what you said?
(03:26):
What do they say? I'm not gonna say. You're not
gonna make me say it. Niagara falls, n make me
say Niagara falls. The guy is gonna beat me up.
He said, what did I say when I say sarn?
What did he say that sarn? She goes, I'm not
gonna repeat that at thirty?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
What did he say?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
He's speaking of Chinese? He said, like it starts with
a be. But but what did you say? Bullshit? She
gonna stop saying that bullshit, And other kids are going,
like in a sixty people class, people are going bullshit,
fucking you? Oh my lord, So she said she called
(04:04):
us the comedians from then on, and all of us
went on to do comedy.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Really, Carl, he did some peace, but he had a
drug problem. But he was a protege of David Chappelle. Wow,
you know what Dave Chappelle was doing in New York
and Times Square and stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, yeah, he was there. Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Was he the original guy who did that stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
That wasn't That wasn't Carl? Carl was Okay, Carl was
there with him. Wow, Carl had these gaps in his teeth.
They just laughed.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
He laughed like Eddie Murphy before I ever heard any Murphy.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that kind.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Of like, why are you laughing? He goes, I don't
know what she said, I don't know what that bit said.
He was saying, bitch.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I don't know what that he taught me. Richard Pryor. Wow,
he was six.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, and he said and then miss Burgess comes back
and he goes, bitch, what you want?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Yeah, I know you didn't call me bitch. He goes,
you know I did. I know you didn't call me bitch.
And then my Wesley is like bullshit, fukay, fucky.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Oh my lord, this is a sitcom in the making.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Okay, close with Akash sing I mentioned it, but I
went into the ether. He is a cohort of Andrew Schultz.
Oh yes, and I never liked them on Andrew Schultz
Shilp because he's just he's a quiet man, you know, yeah,
and he just tries to get by on We Love
(05:31):
You India. But some Indians try to pretend to black.
They didn't have the black experience. You came here on
an h one visa, Okay, you didn't come.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
To be fair to him, I think he grew up
in a black neighborhood, didn't he. Yeah, but he so
like he comes by it honest.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
He's not a descendative of slaves, of course not.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
But I mean, I think he comes by it honestly.
He's not trying to larp as a black person.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
But you know there's a guy who got banned. He
was Indian.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
He was telling black chokes, and black people were saying,
you can't tell black chokes. You're brown, you're not black.
And he might be black if you're a Sri Lankan,
but you're not African American, so you can't. You don't
have our experience. But he redeemed himself because I saw
his special. I think it's on YouTube or Netflix, a
cacine and he's got kids now. His wife is gorgeous
Indian lady. And he said, you know, they used to
(06:19):
be called jokes, and now you call him dad chokes,
dad jokes. They're good jokes. They're old. And I have
a body. I don't have a dad body. I have
a body. Oh you're a dad, you got a dad fight.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
No.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I got this way from drinking myself to death because
of you. Kid. He's actually very good, good. Well.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
When he saw on Andrew Schultze's show, I think Andrew
Schultz kind of rains some in or something.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
Yeah, and he kind of dominates the room. Andrew Schaltz right,
and I just I've watched him. So I don't watch
their show very often because I just find it's not
really I don't know, it doesn't really appeal to me
because Andrew Andrews dominates the conversation sometimes and it's just
kind of like, yeah, man, I don't know. He doesn't
strike me as the sharpest, the sharpest needle in the pack,
(07:06):
you know what I mean? Sometimes I get that impression.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Did you ever see the episode where Andrew Schultz laughs
out of his own jokes? No, okay, we'll close with this.
I did what you told me not to do. Well,
I'm drinking tea by myself over here at the office.
I was watching some more cop videos. No, no, always
a good idea, but the material keeps coming. It's like,
(07:29):
when you're gonna stop talking about com videos when they
stop making them? Will they only make them because of
the injustice and everything?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I know?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Just get the cops to stop and I'll stop talking
about it. Mark.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I want to know when are you going to get
your body cam? Because I'm sure you could make a
bunch of those right now.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
And half of it would be arable.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
And so I saw one on a cop corruption video
and they stop a black guy. I take high potension medicine,
and this guy turned out to have also high blood pushure.
White cops stopped him, and he goes, do the kisser?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You know? Fine?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Where are you going? I'm out of medicine. I need
to get my medicine for hy pretension. Where do you
go so fast? I was going to speed limit, but
I'm in a hurry. You look like you don't actually
want to be here.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Talking to me. Yeah, I don't. I don't. Why is
so nervous, sir?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Because I've seen black man versus cop videos and they
don't turn out well for the black man. But why
I haven't done anything.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
To you yet. Why so nervous?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Because you're asking me why I'm nervous, now I'm getting
more nervous. Why do I look nervous? He goes, why
are you so nervous? I don't know how this is
going to end. The black guy goes, I'm actually filming this.
He goes, I also have a headcam. I'm also filming this,
and he goes, but mine's not going to be erased.
I present that, sir. You seem very nervous. What are
(08:53):
you hiding he goes my skin.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Because I'm black, Black and Black Way are so nervous
with the white coppy. Why you're so nervous? Why?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
And in a tape one, I don't know why? Why
would I be? It's like you're a jew in a
in a shower and Germany. Why keep sniffing the air?
Why keep looking at the ceiling? Because I know history
Way so nervous. I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna make
it step on the car, but now you're very nervous.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Well, if you may meet step out of the car.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Were more nervous exactly, Well, you're more nervous now. I
definitely get a pat two down. Now, I'm gonna take
it domesticated wolf. I'm gonna let him walk around your car.
If it does anything weird.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
If you go into jail, that's a good plan. Mike Miller,
Mark Bailey talk funny me.
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We came to Japan to get
away from those mostly peaceful protests, fires and riots. Thanks
for Nothing, CNN the Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio
Dot comed Nagoia Comedy. Here's Mark Bailey, Mark.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Bailey, Mike Miller on Talk Funny. So I was alluding
to it. I never got to it, Mike. But I
was raised in Sicily from age like six months to
five and a half years in a Jewish kindergarten. We
didn't learn to read. We couldn't read, but we learned Latin,
Italian centered Italian, Sicilian, French, Greek, but not English. And
(00:43):
then suddenly my parents decided we're going to New York,
going back to go to New York. So I didn't
learn English. I couldn't speak well. My mom spoke to
me in Hebrew and Yiddish. My dad spoke to me
in Italian. We go to New York and by the way,
you have to speak English.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
What's what's this? Did you know English? Yeah? We did?
Here doesn't tell me. In five years you can't tell me.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
So I sat in the back as all bad students
do in the first grade. I don't know what first
grade is. Yeah, and we're sitting in the back and
the teacher, Miss Purgas, I can't understand her, said Charlie
Brown's teacher.
Speaker 3 (01:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
So I found other other six year olds that look confused.
One of them was a black guy who was illiterate
and couldn't speak well.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
His name is.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
Carl He was Haitian and he could speak English well.
And then there's a Japanese guy. It's amazing I still
remember their names. His name is Leslie and Chinese guy's
name was Weslie. So I'm talking to them and I'm like,
the Leslie guy from Japan, I'm like, can you tell
me how to how to count the five from Japanese?
He said, kid, you write that down. He goes, I
(01:54):
could write it, but you can't read it. Teacher write
I c hi. He goes, I don't know how to
write that. And then the Wesley guy from China, and
they said, oh, that's cool. So how do you say
that's right? He goes, ship ship, And how do you
say that's not right? He goes bullshit, And I said,
here's my mom's flowers. She likes hyacinths. How do you
(02:16):
say that in Chinese? He goes, fuck you. I'm like,
fuck you, fuck you. He goes, no, the tone is bad,
fuck you, fuck you.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
So oh my.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
So then the teacher's yapping along and they said, well,
how do you say an Italian?
Speaker 4 (02:34):
Like?
Speaker 3 (02:34):
What are you doing?
Speaker 5 (02:34):
I said, fuck a fuck a fuck a fucking k
fucking so you're gonnaki fucking fuck you ship bullshit. Finally,
Miss prejudic, it's a huge for sixty people.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Wow. She drops her mic and comes back to the
what is this chaos going on?
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Like?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I don't know? You know what? She said?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
Ki fu fuck a fucking fuck you. She said, I don't.
I don't know this nasty stuff. But you gotta stop
the nasty words.
Speaker 3 (03:05):
Somebody.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
We don't. We don't understand what you're saying. What are
your comedian? It's a fucking comedian, fuck guy, comedian what
means also means what it means, fucking comedian. She's gonna
stop saying that. Fuck a k stop saying what you said?
(03:26):
What do they say? I'm not gonna say. You're not
gonna make me say it. Niagara falls, n make me
say Niagara falls. The guy is gonna beat me up.
He said, what did I say when I say sarn?
What did he say that sarn? She goes, I'm not
gonna repeat that at thirty?
Speaker 3 (03:41):
What did he say?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
He's speaking of Chinese? He said, like it starts with
a be. But but what did you say? Bullshit? She
gonna stop saying that bullshit, And other kids are going,
like in a sixty people class, people are going bullshit,
fucking you? Oh my lord, So she said she called
(04:04):
us the comedians from then on, and all of us
went on to do comedy.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Really, Carl, he did some peace, but he had a
drug problem. But he was a protege of David Chappelle. Wow,
you know what Dave Chappelle was doing in New York
and Times Square and stuff.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, yeah, he was there. Oh wow?
Speaker 4 (04:26):
Was he the original guy who did that stuff?
Speaker 3 (04:27):
That wasn't That wasn't Carl? Carl was Okay, Carl was
there with him. Wow, Carl had these gaps in his teeth.
They just laughed.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
He laughed like Eddie Murphy before I ever heard any Murphy.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that kind.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
Of like, why are you laughing? He goes, I don't
know what she said, I don't know what that bit said.
He was saying, bitch.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
I don't know what that he taught me. Richard Pryor. Wow,
he was six.
Speaker 2 (04:51):
Yeah, and he said and then miss Burgess comes back
and he goes, bitch, what you want?
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Yeah, I know you didn't call me bitch. He goes,
you know I did. I know you didn't call me bitch.
And then my Wesley is like bullshit, fukay, fucky.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Oh my lord, this is a sitcom in the making.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Okay, close with Akash sing I mentioned it, but I
went into the ether. He is a cohort of Andrew Schultz.
Oh yes, and I never liked them on Andrew Schultz
Shilp because he's just he's a quiet man, you know, yeah,
and he just tries to get by on We Love
(05:31):
You India. But some Indians try to pretend to black.
They didn't have the black experience. You came here on
an h one visa, Okay, you didn't come.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
To be fair to him, I think he grew up
in a black neighborhood, didn't he. Yeah, but he so
like he comes by it honest.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
He's not a descendative of slaves, of course not.
Speaker 4 (05:50):
But I mean, I think he comes by it honestly.
He's not trying to larp as a black person.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
But you know there's a guy who got banned. He
was Indian.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
He was telling black chokes, and black people were saying,
you can't tell black chokes. You're brown, you're not black.
And he might be black if you're a Sri Lankan,
but you're not African American, so you can't. You don't
have our experience. But he redeemed himself because I saw
his special. I think it's on YouTube or Netflix, a
cacine and he's got kids now. His wife is gorgeous
Indian lady. And he said, you know, they used to
(06:19):
be called jokes, and now you call him dad chokes,
dad jokes. They're good jokes. They're old. And I have
a body. I don't have a dad body. I have
a body. Oh you're a dad, you got a dad fight.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
No.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I got this way from drinking myself to death because
of you. Kid. He's actually very good, good. Well.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
When he saw on Andrew Schultze's show, I think Andrew
Schultz kind of rains some in or something.
Speaker 4 (06:46):
Yeah, and he kind of dominates the room. Andrew Schaltz right,
and I just I've watched him. So I don't watch
their show very often because I just find it's not
really I don't know, it doesn't really appeal to me
because Andrew Andrews dominates the conversation sometimes and it's just
kind of like, yeah, man, I don't know. He doesn't
strike me as the sharpest, the sharpest needle in the pack,
(07:06):
you know what I mean? Sometimes I get that impression.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
Did you ever see the episode where Andrew Schultz laughs
out of his own jokes? No, okay, we'll close with this.
I did what you told me not to do. Well,
I'm drinking tea by myself over here at the office.
I was watching some more cop videos. No, no, always
a good idea, but the material keeps coming. It's like,
(07:29):
when you're gonna stop talking about com videos when they
stop making them? Will they only make them because of
the injustice and everything?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
I know?
Speaker 3 (07:36):
Just get the cops to stop and I'll stop talking
about it. Mark.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I want to know when are you going to get
your body cam? Because I'm sure you could make a
bunch of those right now.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
And half of it would be arable.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
And so I saw one on a cop corruption video
and they stop a black guy. I take high potension medicine,
and this guy turned out to have also high blood pushure.
White cops stopped him, and he goes, do the kisser?
Speaker 3 (08:00):
You know? Fine?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
Where are you going? I'm out of medicine. I need
to get my medicine for hy pretension. Where do you
go so fast? I was going to speed limit, but
I'm in a hurry. You look like you don't actually
want to be here.
Speaker 3 (08:14):
Talking to me. Yeah, I don't. I don't. Why is
so nervous, sir?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
Because I've seen black man versus cop videos and they
don't turn out well for the black man. But why
I haven't done anything.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
To you yet. Why so nervous?
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Because you're asking me why I'm nervous, now I'm getting
more nervous. Why do I look nervous? He goes, why
are you so nervous? I don't know how this is
going to end. The black guy goes, I'm actually filming this.
He goes, I also have a headcam. I'm also filming this,
and he goes, but mine's not going to be erased.
I present that, sir. You seem very nervous. What are
(08:53):
you hiding he goes my skin.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
Because I'm black, Black and Black Way are so nervous
with the white coppy. Why you're so nervous? Why?
Speaker 2 (09:08):
And in a tape one, I don't know why? Why
would I be? It's like you're a jew in a
in a shower and Germany. Why keep sniffing the air?
Why keep looking at the ceiling? Because I know history
Way so nervous. I wasn't gonna I wasn't gonna make
it step on the car, but now you're very nervous.
Speaker 3 (09:29):
Well, if you may meet step out of the car.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Were more nervous exactly, Well, you're more nervous now. I
definitely get a pat two down. Now, I'm gonna take
it domesticated wolf. I'm gonna let him walk around your car.
If it does anything weird.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
If you go into jail, that's a good plan. Mike Miller,
Mark Bailey talk funny me.
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