July 17, 2025 • 17 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny about more thoughts on prison reality TV shows and how it can get you killed, how undercover boss is a fake show, how facebook is a stalker's dream, spacial awareness and emotional awareness between men and women, sofa white knight syndrom, hate listen podcasts, and funny people who will not go on stage. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.comNagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We came to Japan to see
motorists that have a drive but they don't know how
to the Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio Dot comed
Nagoia Comedy. Here's Mark Bailey, Park.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Bayly Mike, not to talk funny, just gonna re mention it.
We were talking about the episodes of sixty Days in
but reality show where non criminals are dropped in to
the prison and then when they want to be extracted
because they think their life is in danger. Can I
make a suggest that your life was in danger when
you went in? Yes, this is maximum security prison and
(00:38):
general population.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
If you're if you have a manager and he suggested
you do this show, you should fire your manager.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Mike, Mike, I got a choice for you. If you
do the reality show in the prison or you do
another talk funny episode. Yeah. I'm thinking, I'm thanks. Where
is that in prison? Where's that prison? What kind of
prison is it? Super max? Is it? That's a that's
been a goodman joke. I'm thinking, I'm thinking your money
or your life. I'm thinking, so what I was saying before,
is that they have a distress signal. They're all on cameras.
(01:04):
It's like, Mike, you and I were inmates for eight years, right,
and then suddenly this new guy comes in and there's
cameras everywhere. That's weird. It's a little strange, you know.
It's like there's a person in his cell. What's going
on with that undercover boss. It's like there's a sound
guy in the kitchen. Now, we didn't just have a
sound guy. I had no idea, Mike, did you're the
(01:25):
owner of the company and that you were spying on me?
I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I thought we were just filming a documentary about the company.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
The mustache and the glass is totally confiscate, right, I
had no idea. Your voice, you didn't even try to change.
I've heard your state.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
You know what the problem with this company is, we're
CEO taking all of our money.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh really, I've heard your voice again, working for the
honky Man. Working for the honky Man. It's only word
we can use now. So anyway, I was saying that
one of the distress signals, they change it sometimes, but
a lot of it was rub your temples with two
fingers on each side and say I've got a really
bad headache and then extract them. But the inmates are
watching this. I know, that's the thing. Image.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
The inmates now know all the towels, all the signs, right,
and they're watching you.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
And it's like Matt just got a strike. They just
took him out of I don't know where he went.
Maybe one of the hospital is better than this asshole.
So then they were doing it. It's like I really
got a headache and they didn't get extracted. To guess
what the deduction is. He was a nart Yeah. And
then if they see that guy on the outside. Yeah,
you know, here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Even if you become blow up and you become super
famous from that show, if one of those guys gets
out and sees you on the outside, he may have
a beef with you, and you're putting yourself at risk,
not just in the prison, but after you get out.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh yeah, I mean why you know? You have Google,
you have sights, you have Paige find where they live?
You know their name? Well, yes, he has a social
media page. Yeah, yeah, we're doing a live stream. Where
is he? Oh he's downtown. I'm gonna go downtown. Come
join my live stream. Come in.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
That's what happened to a woman. We joke about this,
but that happened to a woman recently in Tokyo. She
was murdered on her lives because she owed a guy money.
She wasn't going to pay it back, and the guy
just found out where she was, tracked her down and
murdered her right on her stream.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
There's a girlfriends that I was looking for. I didn't
even have to go to paid sides that I found him.
Oh really, if you're a stalker, and I'm not. But
first she just wanted to keep tabs. What's going on? Oh,
just get a new boyfriend. Where does he live?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
What's his job? How much solar does he make?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
What's his bank account number? It's like my joke. He's
got a he's got a new husband. Could you accent husband?
He's got a new husband. What was he gonna say
about it? Interested? I'm not a stalker. I'm just interested,
that's all. Yeah. It's like the Sam Kinnison joke. You know,
you're on the outside now and the guy gets out
of prison on parole or something, and he goes into
a seven eleven and you're there. Yeah, shopping and it's
(03:44):
like the Sam Kennison joke. You go in, you see
a Vietnamese clerk, It's like, yeah, you look familiar to Danang.
He goes, yeah, Danang, so I stabbed him because he
was in Vietnam War and he was in the north.
Oh my lord, that's the Sam Kinnison and Jai that
Sam had some really use free he would be banned
by now.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, yeah, he would be well, you know he came
by it honestly brain damage.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Right, So yeah, so did Roseanne. She was hit by
a car too, wasn't she. Yeah, they both have that. Well.
I don't know if I ever told this off a story,
but you know, men are from Mars, women are for Venus.
And if you read that book, it's by a doctor
and a lot of people buy like a quack doctor
who yeah, yeah, I was going to say a lot
of people like to discredit him. There is a little
(04:30):
bit of truth in what he says. Uh, science has
finally backed up that guys are actually they're better at
spatial awareness. Yes, women are better at resolving conflicts. That's true.
That's just you know, we've known that for a one.
In general, in general, generally speaking, I applied for a
lot of jobs in the US, and generally none of
them wanted me. General Now I've got, you know, personal
antidote about spatial awareness. Like first of all, even like
(04:53):
with a Japanese wife, you go to a restaurant and
you're with that family, two kids, your wife, you you
know how much we eat. I see the bills, I
pay for it all. I know how much we eat.
And she's ordering twelve plates of chicken wings in fifteen women,
and so we can't eat all this. It's spatial awareness,
and then we waste half the food. I was telling you,
(05:14):
we can't eat all that spatial awareness. I know how
much I can eat. I ate much less than I
used to. I know what I can eat to hachibu, right, Yeah,
that's the rule in Japan eighty percent. Yeah, when you stop,
but I'm completely full, I'm gonna get I'm gonna be
spewing if I eat all this food. I told you
we don't need it. I don't mind paying for it.
But I told you we didn't need it, and she
(05:35):
never sees it coming. You might have had this. You
have a girlfriend. She lives on the twelfth floor. There's
no elevator and you have to take the stairs. You're
helping her move because you're hoping you're gonna get laid.
And then she has this sofa. Why else would you
help a woman move? See, this is my life you're
talking about here. This is like Curby enthusiasm for guys.
Happened to me, It happened, really really did happened to
(05:55):
every guy. It happened to every guy. And so you're
moving in. You're helping your move from the van, and
one of the last items is the sofa. And you
took a look at it. You don't even have a
ruler on. You take a look at it. Let me
see where that's gonna fit. You go up to the
twelve floor and you look, what did you want? And
it's a four foot space. It's a twelve foot sofa.
(06:16):
Four foot space. I think if you try, you can
make it fit, you know, and you tell her, no,
this is going to block the bathroom. That's a twelve
foot sofa. It's just different. This is a four foot space.
I think it's bigger than that. Okay, let's say it's
a five foot space. You can't fit twelve feet or
sofa and the five feet. You've lived this right, actually
(06:38):
is pretty good with that stuff. If you try, could
you try? Could you try? Okay, I said, here's the thing.
I'm the one carrying it up twelve flights of stairs.
If you had an elevator, it'd be a little different.
And I had another guy to help me with the thing,
you know. And then one of our other male friends
quote unquote stops by and is like, what's the problem.
He want to put the sofa up, and he wants
(07:01):
to get there White Knight. Yes, he wants to get
laid more than you do. So he's like, I'll bring
it up. It might fit. We'll try. I said, you
know it's not gonna fit. Guys, this is like a
preview of later in the evening. You know it's not
gonna fit. I'm sicilian sicilian. Well that's I mean, I
do that instand up. But the gist of the story
(07:21):
is so you know it's not gonna fit. He knows
it's not gonna fit, but he wants to make the
gesture till White Night, so maybe he gets laid. You
bring all the thing up. Doesn't fit. The woman is like,
well I thought it would fit. I told you it
wouldn't fit. I'm from the future with spatial awareness, and
but you're a man. You're here to make my dreams
come true. You can do it. I believe in you
(07:42):
and you could do this. I'm trying to think of
the inverse that a woman can do this with just
apologize to the guy and everything to be fine. No,
but he called me an MF or ten times in
a row in front of people. I lost a lot
of faith. If you say I'm sorry first, I'm pretty
sure he'll say, and maybe here that he'll also say
i'm sorry. You'll be friends again. Nobody in particular. You're like,
(08:08):
I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm not going to do that eventually. I think it's
like all things that women are kind of right on
that sometimes.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
That's emotional intelligence and the ego.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
They know that over time, your ego is just going
to kind of let go of it and then it's
not a big deal. But in the moment, your ego
is like, no way, I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Never going to do that. They've had girlfriends that were
the best friends, then they hated them, and then they
loved them, and so so I'm trying to be equal
here women are from the future in emotional intelligence. Guys
are from the future in spatial awareness. Right, really quickly?
Do you have a hate listen for podcasts except for
this one?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh? This is a listening of love. Although I hate
listening to myself And then I'm like, why did I
the drunk podcast?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Especially like, oh my lord? But I hate podcasts. Oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I used to like, I used to listen to you
might like this podcast. Have you ever heard of the
Fifth Column? Yeah, I just cannot. I listened for a while,
and I was like, you know, I gotta listen to everybody.
I gotta listen them. And Dave Smith I listened to
his podcast, and sometimes the same thing. I would just like,
like when he's talked about like running over you should
(09:17):
have the right to drive over protesters on the highway.
I was like, that doesn't really sound libertarian to me, man,
But anyways, those are kinds of the ones. You know, Hey,
you got the right to protest, I also got the
right to run you down. Libertarian bro libertarianism bro no.
I was like, yeah, so those are two, but I
don't listen to them anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I like Dave Smith on his anti war stance because
I know he's good on anti war, on its foreign policy.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I just don't. I just don't. I
don't believe in libertarianism. So so I know you've been busy,
and I know you wanted to listen to Megan Kelly again.
Oh god, no, but I did it for you so
you don't have to. She had Andrew Schultz on again.
Oh god, she did it again. He has a new special.
(09:55):
I don't know why he keeps going on. I really
like that joke you told at the end when you
at the punch. I like his special. It's called Life.
I think it's on Netflix. Yeah, so she's pretty good.
He talks about trying to get pregnant and the doctor.
I actually have a joke I wrote about that everybody
has kind of one pregnancy that doesn't take, and we
had that in my marriage, and everybody kind of has it.
(10:16):
You don't talk about it much. The doctor will go,
it's not your fault, and now you put it in
my head. It's like, now it's somebody's fault, his fault,
is it? Say no, it's science. It's nobody's fault. It
just happens sometimes, I mean statistically, and you're lucky it
didn't happen. They would have died in your arms. He
didn't want that. Yeah, So Andrew Schultz talks a lot
about there's no way my sperm is deficient. Right, There's
(10:37):
no way because I'm a I'm an alpha, you know,
there's no way. Anyway. He makes it funny. Anyway. He
goes on Megan Kelly and she goes, I recommend his special.
The funniest part is at the end when you say
la la la La, La la la, and he goes, Meghan,
you did it again. Oh no, It's like the closet
with Gracie and George Burns callback three ways. So you
(10:59):
knew she was a scorpion. You knew she was going
to spoil your punchlines. Yes, I don't know why she does.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I don't know why anyone listens to her, to be
honest with you, She's just not that enlightening on anything.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I think she's a frustrated comedian. She's always stealing people's lines.
She wants to be famous, That's what it is.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
She's like an influencer who got a job as a
quote unquote reporter, yeah, a talking head on TV, and
now she wants to continue that, but she really does.
She's not a journalist, like I don't understand. She's not
like Barbara Walters. Barbara Walters would like at least knew
how to do an interview, you know, or Oprah. Oprah's
good at interviews.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Like Leslie Stall and Barbara Wakers. They were the female
versions of Mike Wallace. Yeah, they will.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
They were journalists. You don't want to go Walters, maybe not,
but she Leslee Stall is a journalist.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
But Barbara Walters also had hard hitting questions. You don't
want to go in her show unless you want everything
out of your closet, right because she's been there's been
in there, be there, like Colombo, and she's got just
one more thing, one more thing. And so episode three
oh eight, we're doing even more callbacks. I got a
license to call that pun oh.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
But I just don't understand what people seeing her. I mean,
I know what they see in her. She's beautiful, she's
a gorgeous woman. But it's just like, you know, you
can only ride that for so long. You got to
bring something to the table. There's a lot of models
that are beautiful. I can't act at all, and you.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Know they do their one movie and then the director's like,
you know, I don't think you're really good for my part.
But they're expert on politics, right, Yeah, and it's like
you read an article. Yes, they shut up. She's not
a journalist, no, Megan, I think once. I think she's
a frustrated comment I think so frustrated entertainer. Probably she
tries to retell jokes. And Mike Miller is not responsible
for this comment. You're throwing yourself in front of the
(12:41):
machine guns. I mean, Steve Howard and I approved this comment.
Women can't tell a joke that save their f in lives.
There's some exceptions, there's women, so I think sometimes women
comedians can. That's their job. Yes, I've had in the States.
So my sister tries to tell my funniest jokes that
she likes. She screws it up. Some people, Yeah, some women,
Some women have a lot of women. I shouldn't say all.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I know.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I don't want to be dead, but I don't want
to that way. I'm not going to back off the assertion.
I just gonna say. Having said that, ask any woman
if she thinks she has a sense of humor.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
They all say yes, of course, everyone thinks they have
a sense of humor, but everybody can't have that's true,
that's true, possible, it's true.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And so some people don't and they don't become comics. Yeah,
some people. Some people don't and they do become comics.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
And then Richard Lewis, yeah, oh, and then there's a
lot of I think there's a lot like I mean,
I think what Joe Rogan has said many times on
his podcast, there's people out there who are the funniest
humans alive. Oh, you laugh all the time, and you
say you should take that and go on stage, and
they're like, never, Like, some of the funniest comedians in
the world are just regular people.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Our Deer Street, our dear friend Big John was hilarious
in conversation, and he just didn't have the confidence and
he never went on. And I said, I'll produce you man,
You're would have been gray. And he goes, but I
can't tell. I don't know what to do it. I said,
just do like we do in radio. Just pretend you're
talking to your friend, You're just saying things. Yeah, and
just pretend you're talking to us like you did at
(14:03):
the teacher's lounge.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Yeah. So it's a combination of being funny and then
having the guts to go up on stage. And like
a lot of people just don't or they're not interested.
Not every and it's not just got some people just
aren't interested in performing.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And Megan Kelly, I think she wants to be a comic,
but she can't write comedy, so she just kind of
she gives credit. She's not stealing the joke, but she
tries to tell, you know, my favorite joke of yours
is this blah blah blah, and she screws up the joke.
It's like, if you're going to tell the Onion's joke,
thanks for attributing it to me. Yeah, but get it right. Yeah, yeah,
now you screwed up my Joe. Now you're making me
sound like kind of funny. This is not my joke.
(14:36):
This is my joke. Yeah, and that joke wasn't funny
because I screwed it up. Oh yeah no, there's no
excuse for that. I really don't understand why she has
a career, but hey, I guess you get famous. People
know your name and they're like, oh listen. And as
I said before, she has Marcia Clark on a lot
and Marsha Clark is giving legal advice, like you lost,
you lost, the Biggest Taste, OJA funny glove, O J.
(14:58):
Simpson committed murder. I'll say, but you know what, if
my name's not Mike Miller, I feel the same way.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
When the Politics podcast have Hillary Clinton on, it's like,
you lost, let me give.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
You some advice. You know what, that's really good Hillary.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I'm gonna take that advice and do the exact opposite
of what you said, and maybe I'll win.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I'll give you a feather cap and I'll say, for example,
rig s Antorum, a failed presidential candidate, and he gets
on and gives advice, this is what Trump should do.
Trump won, you lost, He won three times depending on
who you're taught to, and the next time he's gonna win.
Fucking heads are horrible. But that's one thing.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I you know, a kind of you know, CNN can
be entertaining sometimes, but other times you're watching you're.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Like, how do these people have jobs? Man?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Like they given such bad advice. They're so out of
touch with reality, some of these people.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And another part of I'll shut up about Megan Kelley
in a second. The other part of the hate listen
that I don't like when I listened to her. She
has a legal background, but it's got this morbid fascination
with murder. And it's like, well, I heard that he
had an erection when he's stay. That's something that women
Some women are really into that. Well, the biggest podcast,
the most successful in history besides Joe Rogan, Not True,
(16:10):
He's true Cereal Cereal? Yeah, yeah, And women love that stuff,
and it's like they kind of think what could have
been me? So it's kind of scary. So women kind
of fantasize about it and they're afraid of it. Yeah,
And there's the kind of a genre of fiction that
you can find that males kind of fantasize about. But
it's not murder. It just involves communtilations. But she's really
(16:32):
into it and she'll do entire specials. It's like, but
did he do it? And if he did it, how
did he do it? I don't care? Why why did
he do it? Who cares? Don't care? He did it?
Put him in jail? One questions, how do they care
about the motive? The guy's associopath. He likes he gets
a thrill for killing people. I'm sorry miss Kelly. One
more question. Is he in prison? Yeah? He is. He
(16:53):
was convicted. I don't care why and how and when
did he have an erection? Good God, Lord Mark Bailey,
Mike Melly talked funny HM
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We came to Japan to see
motorists that have a drive but they don't know how
to the Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio Dot comed
Nagoia Comedy. Here's Mark Bailey, Park.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Bayly Mike, not to talk funny, just gonna re mention it.
We were talking about the episodes of sixty Days in
but reality show where non criminals are dropped in to
the prison and then when they want to be extracted
because they think their life is in danger. Can I
make a suggest that your life was in danger when
you went in? Yes, this is maximum security prison and
(00:38):
general population.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
If you're if you have a manager and he suggested
you do this show, you should fire your manager.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Mike, Mike, I got a choice for you. If you
do the reality show in the prison or you do
another talk funny episode. Yeah. I'm thinking, I'm thanks. Where
is that in prison? Where's that prison? What kind of
prison is it? Super max? Is it? That's a that's
been a goodman joke. I'm thinking, I'm thinking your money
or your life. I'm thinking, so what I was saying before,
is that they have a distress signal. They're all on cameras.
(01:04):
It's like, Mike, you and I were inmates for eight years, right,
and then suddenly this new guy comes in and there's
cameras everywhere. That's weird. It's a little strange, you know.
It's like there's a person in his cell. What's going
on with that undercover boss. It's like there's a sound
guy in the kitchen. Now, we didn't just have a
sound guy. I had no idea, Mike, did you're the
(01:25):
owner of the company and that you were spying on me?
I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I thought we were just filming a documentary about the company.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
The mustache and the glass is totally confiscate, right, I
had no idea. Your voice, you didn't even try to change.
I've heard your state.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
You know what the problem with this company is, we're
CEO taking all of our money.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh really, I've heard your voice again, working for the
honky Man. Working for the honky Man. It's only word
we can use now. So anyway, I was saying that
one of the distress signals, they change it sometimes, but
a lot of it was rub your temples with two
fingers on each side and say I've got a really
bad headache and then extract them. But the inmates are
watching this. I know, that's the thing. Image.
Speaker 3 (02:04):
The inmates now know all the towels, all the signs, right,
and they're watching you.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
And it's like Matt just got a strike. They just
took him out of I don't know where he went.
Maybe one of the hospital is better than this asshole.
So then they were doing it. It's like I really
got a headache and they didn't get extracted. To guess
what the deduction is. He was a nart Yeah. And
then if they see that guy on the outside. Yeah,
you know, here's the thing.
Speaker 3 (02:28):
Even if you become blow up and you become super
famous from that show, if one of those guys gets
out and sees you on the outside, he may have
a beef with you, and you're putting yourself at risk,
not just in the prison, but after you get out.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh yeah, I mean why you know? You have Google,
you have sights, you have Paige find where they live?
You know their name? Well, yes, he has a social
media page. Yeah, yeah, we're doing a live stream. Where
is he? Oh he's downtown. I'm gonna go downtown. Come
join my live stream. Come in.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
That's what happened to a woman. We joke about this,
but that happened to a woman recently in Tokyo. She
was murdered on her lives because she owed a guy money.
She wasn't going to pay it back, and the guy
just found out where she was, tracked her down and
murdered her right on her stream.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
There's a girlfriends that I was looking for. I didn't
even have to go to paid sides that I found him.
Oh really, if you're a stalker, and I'm not. But
first she just wanted to keep tabs. What's going on? Oh,
just get a new boyfriend. Where does he live?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:20):
What's his job? How much solar does he make?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:22):
What's his bank account number? It's like my joke. He's
got a he's got a new husband. Could you accent husband?
He's got a new husband. What was he gonna say
about it? Interested? I'm not a stalker. I'm just interested,
that's all. Yeah. It's like the Sam Kinnison joke. You know,
you're on the outside now and the guy gets out
of prison on parole or something, and he goes into
a seven eleven and you're there. Yeah, shopping and it's
(03:44):
like the Sam Kennison joke. You go in, you see
a Vietnamese clerk, It's like, yeah, you look familiar to Danang.
He goes, yeah, Danang, so I stabbed him because he
was in Vietnam War and he was in the north.
Oh my lord, that's the Sam Kinnison and Jai that
Sam had some really use free he would be banned
by now.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah, yeah, he would be well, you know he came
by it honestly brain damage.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Right, So yeah, so did Roseanne. She was hit by
a car too, wasn't she. Yeah, they both have that. Well.
I don't know if I ever told this off a story,
but you know, men are from Mars, women are for Venus.
And if you read that book, it's by a doctor
and a lot of people buy like a quack doctor
who yeah, yeah, I was going to say a lot
of people like to discredit him. There is a little
(04:30):
bit of truth in what he says. Uh, science has
finally backed up that guys are actually they're better at
spatial awareness. Yes, women are better at resolving conflicts. That's true.
That's just you know, we've known that for a one.
In general, in general, generally speaking, I applied for a
lot of jobs in the US, and generally none of
them wanted me. General Now I've got, you know, personal
antidote about spatial awareness. Like first of all, even like
(04:53):
with a Japanese wife, you go to a restaurant and
you're with that family, two kids, your wife, you you
know how much we eat. I see the bills, I
pay for it all. I know how much we eat.
And she's ordering twelve plates of chicken wings in fifteen women,
and so we can't eat all this. It's spatial awareness,
and then we waste half the food. I was telling you,
(05:14):
we can't eat all that spatial awareness. I know how
much I can eat. I ate much less than I
used to. I know what I can eat to hachibu, right, Yeah,
that's the rule in Japan eighty percent. Yeah, when you stop,
but I'm completely full, I'm gonna get I'm gonna be
spewing if I eat all this food. I told you
we don't need it. I don't mind paying for it.
But I told you we didn't need it, and she
(05:35):
never sees it coming. You might have had this. You
have a girlfriend. She lives on the twelfth floor. There's
no elevator and you have to take the stairs. You're
helping her move because you're hoping you're gonna get laid.
And then she has this sofa. Why else would you
help a woman move? See, this is my life you're
talking about here. This is like Curby enthusiasm for guys.
Happened to me, It happened, really really did happened to
(05:55):
every guy. It happened to every guy. And so you're
moving in. You're helping your move from the van, and
one of the last items is the sofa. And you
took a look at it. You don't even have a
ruler on. You take a look at it. Let me
see where that's gonna fit. You go up to the
twelve floor and you look, what did you want? And
it's a four foot space. It's a twelve foot sofa.
(06:16):
Four foot space. I think if you try, you can
make it fit, you know, and you tell her, no,
this is going to block the bathroom. That's a twelve
foot sofa. It's just different. This is a four foot space.
I think it's bigger than that. Okay, let's say it's
a five foot space. You can't fit twelve feet or
sofa and the five feet. You've lived this right, actually
(06:38):
is pretty good with that stuff. If you try, could
you try? Could you try? Okay, I said, here's the thing.
I'm the one carrying it up twelve flights of stairs.
If you had an elevator, it'd be a little different.
And I had another guy to help me with the thing,
you know. And then one of our other male friends
quote unquote stops by and is like, what's the problem.
He want to put the sofa up, and he wants
(07:01):
to get there White Knight. Yes, he wants to get
laid more than you do. So he's like, I'll bring
it up. It might fit. We'll try. I said, you
know it's not gonna fit. Guys, this is like a
preview of later in the evening. You know it's not
gonna fit. I'm sicilian sicilian. Well that's I mean, I
do that instand up. But the gist of the story
(07:21):
is so you know it's not gonna fit. He knows
it's not gonna fit, but he wants to make the
gesture till White Night, so maybe he gets laid. You
bring all the thing up. Doesn't fit. The woman is like,
well I thought it would fit. I told you it
wouldn't fit. I'm from the future with spatial awareness, and
but you're a man. You're here to make my dreams
come true. You can do it. I believe in you
(07:42):
and you could do this. I'm trying to think of
the inverse that a woman can do this with just
apologize to the guy and everything to be fine. No,
but he called me an MF or ten times in
a row in front of people. I lost a lot
of faith. If you say I'm sorry first, I'm pretty
sure he'll say, and maybe here that he'll also say
i'm sorry. You'll be friends again. Nobody in particular. You're like,
(08:08):
I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that.
Speaker 3 (08:10):
I'm not going to do that eventually. I think it's
like all things that women are kind of right on
that sometimes.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
That's emotional intelligence and the ego.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
They know that over time, your ego is just going
to kind of let go of it and then it's
not a big deal. But in the moment, your ego
is like, no way, I'm.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
Never going to do that. They've had girlfriends that were
the best friends, then they hated them, and then they
loved them, and so so I'm trying to be equal
here women are from the future in emotional intelligence. Guys
are from the future in spatial awareness. Right, really quickly?
Do you have a hate listen for podcasts except for
this one?
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh? This is a listening of love. Although I hate
listening to myself And then I'm like, why did I
the drunk podcast?
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Especially like, oh my lord? But I hate podcasts. Oh
my god.
Speaker 3 (08:57):
I used to like, I used to listen to you
might like this podcast. Have you ever heard of the
Fifth Column? Yeah, I just cannot. I listened for a while,
and I was like, you know, I gotta listen to everybody.
I gotta listen them. And Dave Smith I listened to
his podcast, and sometimes the same thing. I would just like,
like when he's talked about like running over you should
(09:17):
have the right to drive over protesters on the highway.
I was like, that doesn't really sound libertarian to me, man,
But anyways, those are kinds of the ones. You know, Hey,
you got the right to protest, I also got the
right to run you down. Libertarian bro libertarianism bro no.
I was like, yeah, so those are two, but I
don't listen to them anymore.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
I like Dave Smith on his anti war stance because
I know he's good on anti war, on its foreign policy.
Yeah yeah, yeah, I just don't. I just don't. I
don't believe in libertarianism. So so I know you've been busy,
and I know you wanted to listen to Megan Kelly again.
Oh god, no, but I did it for you so
you don't have to. She had Andrew Schultz on again.
Oh god, she did it again. He has a new special.
(09:55):
I don't know why he keeps going on. I really
like that joke you told at the end when you
at the punch. I like his special. It's called Life.
I think it's on Netflix. Yeah, so she's pretty good.
He talks about trying to get pregnant and the doctor.
I actually have a joke I wrote about that everybody
has kind of one pregnancy that doesn't take, and we
had that in my marriage, and everybody kind of has it.
(10:16):
You don't talk about it much. The doctor will go,
it's not your fault, and now you put it in
my head. It's like, now it's somebody's fault, his fault,
is it? Say no, it's science. It's nobody's fault. It
just happens sometimes, I mean statistically, and you're lucky it
didn't happen. They would have died in your arms. He
didn't want that. Yeah, So Andrew Schultz talks a lot
about there's no way my sperm is deficient. Right, There's
(10:37):
no way because I'm a I'm an alpha, you know,
there's no way. Anyway. He makes it funny. Anyway. He
goes on Megan Kelly and she goes, I recommend his special.
The funniest part is at the end when you say
la la la La, La la la, and he goes, Meghan,
you did it again. Oh no, It's like the closet
with Gracie and George Burns callback three ways. So you
(10:59):
knew she was a scorpion. You knew she was going
to spoil your punchlines. Yes, I don't know why she does.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
I don't know why anyone listens to her, to be
honest with you, She's just not that enlightening on anything.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
I think she's a frustrated comedian. She's always stealing people's lines.
She wants to be famous, That's what it is.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
She's like an influencer who got a job as a
quote unquote reporter, yeah, a talking head on TV, and
now she wants to continue that, but she really does.
She's not a journalist, like I don't understand. She's not
like Barbara Walters. Barbara Walters would like at least knew
how to do an interview, you know, or Oprah. Oprah's
good at interviews.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
Like Leslie Stall and Barbara Wakers. They were the female
versions of Mike Wallace. Yeah, they will.
Speaker 3 (11:39):
They were journalists. You don't want to go Walters, maybe not,
but she Leslee Stall is a journalist.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
But Barbara Walters also had hard hitting questions. You don't
want to go in her show unless you want everything
out of your closet, right because she's been there's been
in there, be there, like Colombo, and she's got just
one more thing, one more thing. And so episode three
oh eight, we're doing even more callbacks. I got a
license to call that pun oh.
Speaker 3 (12:04):
But I just don't understand what people seeing her. I mean,
I know what they see in her. She's beautiful, she's
a gorgeous woman. But it's just like, you know, you
can only ride that for so long. You got to
bring something to the table. There's a lot of models
that are beautiful. I can't act at all, and you.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
Know they do their one movie and then the director's like,
you know, I don't think you're really good for my part.
But they're expert on politics, right, Yeah, and it's like
you read an article. Yes, they shut up. She's not
a journalist, no, Megan, I think once. I think she's
a frustrated comment I think so frustrated entertainer. Probably she
tries to retell jokes. And Mike Miller is not responsible
for this comment. You're throwing yourself in front of the
(12:41):
machine guns. I mean, Steve Howard and I approved this comment.
Women can't tell a joke that save their f in lives.
There's some exceptions, there's women, so I think sometimes women
comedians can. That's their job. Yes, I've had in the States.
So my sister tries to tell my funniest jokes that
she likes. She screws it up. Some people, Yeah, some women,
Some women have a lot of women. I shouldn't say all.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
I know.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I don't want to be dead, but I don't want
to that way. I'm not going to back off the assertion.
I just gonna say. Having said that, ask any woman
if she thinks she has a sense of humor.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
They all say yes, of course, everyone thinks they have
a sense of humor, but everybody can't have that's true,
that's true, possible, it's true.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And so some people don't and they don't become comics. Yeah,
some people. Some people don't and they do become comics.
Speaker 3 (13:23):
And then Richard Lewis, yeah, oh, and then there's a
lot of I think there's a lot like I mean,
I think what Joe Rogan has said many times on
his podcast, there's people out there who are the funniest
humans alive. Oh, you laugh all the time, and you
say you should take that and go on stage, and
they're like, never, Like, some of the funniest comedians in
the world are just regular people.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Our Deer Street, our dear friend Big John was hilarious
in conversation, and he just didn't have the confidence and
he never went on. And I said, I'll produce you man,
You're would have been gray. And he goes, but I
can't tell. I don't know what to do it. I said,
just do like we do in radio. Just pretend you're
talking to your friend, You're just saying things. Yeah, and
just pretend you're talking to us like you did at
(14:03):
the teacher's lounge.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Yeah. So it's a combination of being funny and then
having the guts to go up on stage. And like
a lot of people just don't or they're not interested.
Not every and it's not just got some people just
aren't interested in performing.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
And Megan Kelly, I think she wants to be a comic,
but she can't write comedy, so she just kind of
she gives credit. She's not stealing the joke, but she
tries to tell, you know, my favorite joke of yours
is this blah blah blah, and she screws up the joke.
It's like, if you're going to tell the Onion's joke,
thanks for attributing it to me. Yeah, but get it right. Yeah, yeah,
now you screwed up my Joe. Now you're making me
sound like kind of funny. This is not my joke.
(14:36):
This is my joke. Yeah, and that joke wasn't funny
because I screwed it up. Oh yeah no, there's no
excuse for that. I really don't understand why she has
a career, but hey, I guess you get famous. People
know your name and they're like, oh listen. And as
I said before, she has Marcia Clark on a lot
and Marsha Clark is giving legal advice, like you lost,
you lost, the Biggest Taste, OJA funny glove, O J.
(14:58):
Simpson committed murder. I'll say, but you know what, if
my name's not Mike Miller, I feel the same way.
Speaker 3 (15:03):
When the Politics podcast have Hillary Clinton on, it's like,
you lost, let me give.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
You some advice. You know what, that's really good Hillary.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I'm gonna take that advice and do the exact opposite
of what you said, and maybe I'll win.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
I'll give you a feather cap and I'll say, for example,
rig s Antorum, a failed presidential candidate, and he gets
on and gives advice, this is what Trump should do.
Trump won, you lost, He won three times depending on
who you're taught to, and the next time he's gonna win.
Fucking heads are horrible. But that's one thing.
Speaker 3 (15:37):
I you know, a kind of you know, CNN can
be entertaining sometimes, but other times you're watching you're.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Like, how do these people have jobs? Man?
Speaker 3 (15:44):
Like they given such bad advice. They're so out of
touch with reality, some of these people.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And another part of I'll shut up about Megan Kelley
in a second. The other part of the hate listen
that I don't like when I listened to her. She
has a legal background, but it's got this morbid fascination
with murder. And it's like, well, I heard that he
had an erection when he's stay. That's something that women
Some women are really into that. Well, the biggest podcast,
the most successful in history besides Joe Rogan, Not True,
(16:10):
He's true Cereal Cereal? Yeah, yeah, And women love that stuff,
and it's like they kind of think what could have
been me? So it's kind of scary. So women kind
of fantasize about it and they're afraid of it. Yeah,
And there's the kind of a genre of fiction that
you can find that males kind of fantasize about. But
it's not murder. It just involves communtilations. But she's really
(16:32):
into it and she'll do entire specials. It's like, but
did he do it? And if he did it, how
did he do it? I don't care? Why why did
he do it? Who cares? Don't care? He did it?
Put him in jail? One questions, how do they care
about the motive? The guy's associopath. He likes he gets
a thrill for killing people. I'm sorry miss Kelly. One
more question. Is he in prison? Yeah? He is. He
(16:53):
was convicted. I don't care why and how and when
did he have an erection? Good God, Lord Mark Bailey,
Mike Melly talked funny HM
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