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June 25, 2025 17 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny while solving the UFO, lizard people and Bigfoot conspiracies, Bill Maher's dinner at the White House, why Netflix movies are unrealistic, how realistic is Friends?, and why Joe Rogan covering a conspiracy is required in the US,    Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.














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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
It's Stock Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We ended up in Japan because
in the heart sumner, we want to hear verbal confirmation
every two seconds that it's hot, no kidding, Einstein. The
Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio Dot Common Nageli Economy.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Here's Mark Bailey, Mark Bailey, Mike Miller and Talk Funny.
We were talking of conspiracy, about conspiracies and the UFOs
and stuff. The thing is, you're never going to find
out from any government, including the US government, if those craft,
the spacecraft or whatever they are, if they're ours or
if they're China's, because they're not going to say we

(00:41):
know their rushes true, we know they were Soviet and
Soviets are going to say they're ours, and we're not
going to say they're ours.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
And if it's not theirs and they don't know whose
it is, if they admit to it, then they look bad.
They're like, you're supposed to be protecting. You should know
what these are. You should be protecting the people.

Speaker 2 (00:57):
Yeah, you know, you've heard the rumors where you have
former Air Force guys and they go, you know, every
fifty one we have a body from a pilot. We
have several UFOs and it's like they're not going to
show any evidence of that because all the other countries.
Then can you can retroactively engineer?

Speaker 4 (01:16):
Yeah, reverse engineering. You can reverse engineer the spacecraft. You
could actually duplicate the spacecraft. Three D printers could probably
make one if you had some marketechts work on it
and some rocket scientists. This is how I think it worked.
They could make one, right.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
It is weird, Yeah, and I mean the whole phenomena
is weird. I've always been interested in UFOs. I think
most people have. Actually, you know, one person made a
video about UFOs that kind of kind of I was
surprised by Chris Broad from abroad in Japan. He has
a YouTube channel, one of the biggest YouTube channels about
Japan life in Japan, and he did an episode about
UFOs and it was really interesting. But yeah, it's weird.
It's really weird because people who say skeptics, who say no,

(01:52):
there's nothing to it at swamp Gas, they're underplaying how
strange this isn't how there's so many people with anecdotal
evidence who've had certain kinds of experiences and they're like, no,
they're either lying or they're they're misled. Now, I mean
ninety nine percent of them are of course, just like
the planet Venus or whatever our airplane. But there's that
small number of percentage of things. How do we explain

(02:15):
speak of the conspiracies.

Speaker 2 (02:16):
My theory about UFOs and Bigfoot is they're both real
and they have a superpower. They can make your camera
have to have the resolution of a potato. It's right,
you can't take pictures of them. It's they're like American
Indians like why because they well it we'll doom the
souls of my family. Can't take a picture of me
because I just render your iPhones and your cameras useless.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Where can I get that power?

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Mark? I really want that power? You think with all
the UFO sightings there'd be a photographer exactly, reporters anywhere exactly.
It's all guys drinking moonshine.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yeah, someone forgot to bring the camera. Oh, I put
the wrong lens on.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Here's another thing with the you for the uniparty thing
with the Republicans Democrats the same part of the uniparty.
So I think if they released actually the aliens are
real and the Republicans and Democrats work for them.

Speaker 3 (03:07):
Yeah, well yeah, I mean, isn't there a there's a
Simpsons episode about that is the people? Yeah, yeah, the
lizard people, as David iike there.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
That's why we want you guys to eat bugs, because
when we want to eat bugs, when the aliens eat bugs,
we won't stand out.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
That reminds me of remember V.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
Yeah, V.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
There is a series in the eighties and the big
thing that gross they were aliens, but they look like
humans because we don't have a costume budget. You know,
we can't afford to make all these people look reptilian.
So occasionally you see them in their reptile form, but
they could cover themselves with human looking skin. And how
you knew they were an alien is because they ate mice.
They put a little mouse in their mouth.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
And then Hillary said a few times she doesn't sweat,
So that people are saying, so.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Did Andrew, Prince Andrew, maybe they are riptilians.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
So and so they don't want to reveal that that
everybody's working for the aliens. Here's another conspiracy theory. There
was one I think it was on Rogan and this guy.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
I think it was on Rogan.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, by law, and it has to be on rugged Rugan.
You're slacking off. You miss one, You miss a conspirasity theory.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Get Johnny braw On.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
It was a historian and an architect, and he said,
there's a theory that there's an underground bridge, Like, how
did people from Africa, assuming that's the cradle of civilization,
how did they get to Europe? And this guy said, well,
there was an underground.

Speaker 3 (04:26):
Bridge that was built from isn't that what we call
a tunnel?

Speaker 2 (04:31):
Yeah? From Spain to My Yorka, that's it. How did
civilization get on Majorca? Well, there was a secret bridge
that was built from Spain to Wowca. But you know boats,
boats are sixty thousand years old. They had a boat.

(04:51):
How did they get Mike? How did they get from
Canada to Prince Edward Island? Can they walk on water?
Did they build up bridge? What happened to that bridge?

Speaker 3 (05:03):
One more things destroyed in the nuclear war?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
He had a boat. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
There's a certain kind of person that always looks for
the least likely possible explanation for something like the Pyramids.
You know, I think it was Aliens that built the pyramids? Uh?

Speaker 2 (05:18):
And well, I do so Martin Norman has a good
joke about that, and he says, you know, the Jews
have been saying for centuries that they were slaves and
they were made to build the pyramids. Like Jews lazy, right,
So who really built the pyramids? That's why I think
he's very Carlins because a lot of commists are afraid
to talk like that. Yes, you can get canceled and stuff.

(05:39):
And he's like, so we know they control of the
banks in the media, but come on, they're not going
to build a pyramids. I don't even like the shower.
Oh that went dark. Bill Maher pretends to be this
huge intellectual. You know, we were joking about Chawles. One
of my acquaintances mispronounced Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, he mispronounced.

(06:02):
He said chasm, chazz. It's chasm, you know, as in sarcasm.
Sarcasm means a bridge over the gap. It's Greek. And
he loves the lecture. People say, I know, I'm right.
He had guests on Club Random and they'll say, look
it up, Bills, I don't have to look it up.
I'm right. The problem.

Speaker 3 (06:23):
Yes, he's like, I think his picture should be in
the dictionary next to the word smug. That is like,
that is like Bill Maher And did you hear you
went to have lunch there with Trump, who's apparently a
horrible fascist guy. But I'm gonna go have lunch with him.
That's how bad he is. I'm like, come on, man,
you can't have the bold ways. Yeah, you're either against

(06:44):
the guy or you're you know, Ah, he's not a
bad guy.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Either he's Hitler or he's not. I meet with Hitler
or not.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
I'll meet with Hitler, Gonna respect each other.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
I'm not gonna tell him an they do jokes. I'll
meet with the guy's a pet peeves when I watch
Netflix and they'll do something about this. This guy has
a regular job and it's a drama. Right. And then
on the jobs they're doing, maybe they're bartending, or they're
a waitress or a waiter or a flight attendant. You know,
they have all this energy. Yeah, never tired.

Speaker 3 (07:14):
Yes, if you ever worked a real job and they
never seemed to be working, isn't that interesting? Gwis arguing
at tables like Central like friends, friends, Oh, we live
in this beautiful rent free what was it rent control
department in New York. It's size. We don't have any
black friends.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
We don't have any gay friends.

Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yeah, well then we know of and we don't have
any Jewish friends.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
But two of the cast are Jewish. They did not.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
Played no, they played they played Christians. They pretended to
be Christians. I can't remember.

Speaker 2 (07:42):
It's well, they didn't have Jewish friends. They never talked
about it.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
They said Courtney Courtney Cox.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
They made her Jewish, but she's not Jewish. But then Lisa, Lisa,
Lisa Kudrou, she's Jewish. She wasn't Jewish. She was in
the in the in the play, and then the other
one and then the other one that's at the other Yeah. Yeah.
He was like, non denomination. You know, it's I've got
jew dar. Why is the southern girl Jewish? It doesn't

(08:10):
make any sense? And the two Jews are not Jews?
What happened?

Speaker 3 (08:14):
We should do that as a game. That would be awesome.
We could get a video from like a series you
have never seen, and we'll just we'll show you the
scene and then we'll say which of these characters is
Jewish and you can be like, I think it's.

Speaker 2 (08:24):
The guy, but like Adam Carolla jew or not?

Speaker 3 (08:27):
Oh yeah, that's true, Adam, does that thing you got?

Speaker 2 (08:30):
Guy stole three pounds of shrimp?

Speaker 3 (08:33):
Definitely, it's the most bizarre game.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
Guy was arrested for selling meth at a temple. Definitely
not a jew.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Is he still doing that? I don't know.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Probably.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
I haven't listened to his podcast in a long time.

Speaker 2 (08:50):
Okay. I'm not saying Netflix movies are lame or that
they're trying to fill dialogue. But you know in real life, Mike,
where you come over for the podcast and to go, hey,
are you okay?

Speaker 1 (09:02):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (09:03):
I always asked that, don't it. These are things real
people say all the time.

Speaker 2 (09:07):
What are you thinking? No, I'm not your wife, so
I won't be asking you that. It's like everything okay.
And then they give a backstory. Yeah, it's just that
my boss threatened to fire me foreshadowing, right, Yeah, and
then we think he's going to do it. I don't
think so, because I just bought him like a new sofa.
Well will it fit? Call that.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
All?

Speaker 2 (09:28):
Are you okay? That's another one? Yeah? How long can
we ramble? Another one? Is so last week, Mike, I
asked you how you were and you said, I'm fine.
What do you mean by that, yeah, because we've got
another We've got another few pages to face.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
Yes, it's like the movie's three hours. Could you just
cut out this random crap and just give us a
movie that's an hour and a half. Is it impossible
to make a movie that's an hour and a half? Now?

Speaker 4 (09:54):
Is that?

Speaker 2 (09:54):
Is those days over? It's like my long version of
tech talk of my joke where it's like TikTok is
like two second, you know, but I get bored, And
it's like this woman walked into a grocery store with
a gun and a kitten, and then this woman walked
into what happened?

Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, and it's always got it's get this cheery AI
generated voice. This woman walked into a starre with a
gun and a kitten.

Speaker 2 (10:18):
Oh, you'll have a cop find out what happens next,
but you never find out there's no part.

Speaker 3 (10:22):
And then it goes and you're like, what subscribe?

Speaker 2 (10:25):
I can subscribe? Yes, first of all, I don't like it.

Speaker 3 (10:28):
Yeah, I won't be non subscribed. But that's the thing.
I hate it. It's almost like people are I think
what they're doing with some of these videos. They generate
the video using chat GPT make me a video about
these kinds of topics. Then they use that the script
from the chat GPT, they give it to an AI
narrator and it's they're just horrible, horrible videos and they

(10:48):
come across your your stream, they come across your account and.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
You're like, why that thing is?

Speaker 3 (10:54):
They're horrible. So many AI there are so many AI
generated videos. And then autoo now the AutoPlay sometimes like
well on TikTok they auto play.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
Sometimes they'll just repeat and you don't realize that was
the end. Yeah, it's like a police officer. Can I
have your idea? Sir? No, I don't think so. Can
I have your idea, sir? She asked me again? Or
is this the end?

Speaker 3 (11:13):
What happened?

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Is he in jail? Is he in sixty days in?
Is he on the reality?

Speaker 3 (11:19):
Oh? Yeah, yeah exactly. It's like the Parkour callback call back.
It's like the park our videos or stuff like that.
You're watching this guy jump off a bridge. You're like,
that's interesting, but where is that?

Speaker 2 (11:28):
What is this?

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Who is this guy live? No? Did he live? And
they never answered the questions. It's always just the littlest
midget of stuff and you're like, what.

Speaker 2 (11:34):
Happened it's all clickbait. Yeah, I hate it. Yeah, And
you'll see on YouTube you'll have, for example, to have
something like Ben Shapiro and have a balloon that he says,
s the F up and he never says that. You
would never say that. You watched a ten minute video
and it never happened.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
And it's not even Ben Shapiro in the video. It
was It's like Stephen Crowder, You're like.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
What is it was Been Shapiro? That ten minute video
would be one minute?

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying, It would, but it
would feel like an hour. I hear that Daily Wire
is going under. Eh did you hear that? I don't know,
Daily Wires like falling apart. Apparently what's his name left boring,
left boring, Yeah, surprising.

Speaker 2 (12:12):
Oh, he was like the financier, yes, the producer.

Speaker 3 (12:16):
So they think that there might be going under a
lot of their top talent of left like what's her
name Candice Owan's left Clandis Owans as that's what Hassan
Piker calls Clandis Owens and then uh and then the
other one, Brett Cooper, the young girl.

Speaker 2 (12:29):
Kanye South and yeah Kanye with Kanye Kanye old. Wow,
my God, changed subjects very quickly. Another video I watched
is of course airport security and it's.

Speaker 3 (12:42):
Not painful enough to go through. You have to watch
the video, Megan Kelly.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Is not enough, oh God. And then they'll go through
a guy's luggage just I think in the UK, and
they'll say without a check a paycheck of yours from
last year when you were in the UK and you
said you didn't come to work, And I'm thinking, why
have the paycheck? I could just do it on the cloud,
you know. He said, I kept it from my records.

(13:07):
It's like I could just have it on the cloud.
It's not my suitcase.

Speaker 3 (13:10):
Yeah, I don't get that. I don't get that.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
What's your name, Sir Mike Miller. It says here you
seem to be in a hurry at this airport.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
You seem to be rather tired and irate. Is it
because you're hiding something?

Speaker 2 (13:21):
Was it the twenty three hour flight from Japan?

Speaker 3 (13:25):
You seem No, I just hate customs officials and I'm
hiding something.

Speaker 2 (13:28):
It's just that I've got asked to do so anything
you want to tell me, yeah, this is taken too long.
Anything you'd like to declare, yeah, I think you guys
are right hole.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
Oh yeah, that's how they Then they go come with
me to the little room by the side. You know
they have that little room by the side you and yeah,
I don't want to go there, no, thank you. And
then they do this trip search and that's not fun.
I had never happened to me, but I've heard of it,
you know many times that's happened.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
It happened to me. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, because I
had some to say artistically omniscuous. Yeah, so we won't
go into that for your job, yes, and you'r They
were looking for other goods that I didn't have. Yeah, man,
did they look.

Speaker 3 (14:04):
Oh yeah, inside, I don't have any cavities.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
But I don't think you're a dentist. I don't think
that's how you find cavities. Oh oh my lord, A
quick one a rejoinder. In a couple of episodes back,
you mentioned Chomsky and we were talking about the sportification.
Oh yes, politics and how people say they can't learn
the language because they don't have a good memory, but
they kid name everybody in the Nuoya Dragon. It's a

(14:27):
could name every lineup for Black Sabbath yes, and every album,
every check listing, right, yeah, because you have an interest
in that and so and you mentioned that probably politically
I don't agree with them, but I do more now
because he's anti orange. So im you know his big
claim to famous that he said children will put together stuff.
They actually don't need grammar. They have their innate grammar

(14:48):
and they'll put it together. And so it's funny because
I've raised kids and they'll say some Japanese words that
don't make sense but grammatically follow the rules. Yes, like kazoos. Yes,
I think it's nigoya ben you heard gazu, kazu gazu.
Don't you take it too long?

Speaker 1 (15:06):
You too?

Speaker 2 (15:09):
Yeah. Other other cities don't use that, and there's no
negative form of that. But my kids would say guzu kuni.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
Yes, they're they're making new words basically.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
And then another one was, so your father is earning
every day, and then they said, I think the correct
one is deny. That's but they would say kunai because
they thought it was an adjective.

Speaker 4 (15:39):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (15:40):
That's what Chomsky said is they're they're thinking, these are
the rules, and this is the way the language sounds.
Sometimes our grammar is arbitrary.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
But yes, but and I mean that's it's it's like
every language has that. There are forms of words that
don't exist, that aren't used, but you could use them
if you wanted to. And those are the kinds of
words that you get asked about. You're at school and
you're just about to go to your class. One more thing,
why do you say this and not this? And then

(16:09):
you go? Because that's what we say.

Speaker 2 (16:11):
The worst thing is narration might oh I've heard. I'm
sure that's my boss who can't make a decisions save
her life. And one more thing, thanks for narration, you
did a good job. I wanted to ask just a
quick question, just one more questions.

Speaker 3 (16:22):
Just a quick question. This will take ten seconds.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
So this I was reading this and it said he
gets to school by bicycle. How is that different from
he goes to school by bicycle? And I said, pick
one and enjoy your life. Who cares? Nobody cares that
there must be a difference. There's not really a difference.
There must be because they have two different ways to
say it. And I said, pick one and give me

(16:47):
my two minutes back. But what's the difference? And I said,
you know, you could learn a thousand vocabulary and the
time it will take.

Speaker 3 (16:55):
You exactly, and then you could actually communicate with people.

Speaker 2 (16:58):
You can work on your accent. Yeah, you could go
to the gym. Yeah, you could ride a bicycle. You
could fall in love.

Speaker 3 (17:04):
There's a lot of things you could do besides pondering
that obscure grammar.

Speaker 2 (17:08):
Real care I think I mentioned. Businessman asked me was
different between pipe and tube? And I said, how about
difference between pipe, poo and shoop? That's an engineering question.
Mark Bailey Mike Miller talked funny
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