September 4, 2025 • 18 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller brainstorm topics for Mark's upcoming book chapters, recounting Mark's experiences in NYC and Japan, Mark's story about working for a mafia English school in Japan, the truth about broccoli, and Mark's encounter with a hot rod street gang group of punks in Japan. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey in comics
from all Over. We ended up in Japan, not that
there is anything wrong with that.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
The Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio dot Com and
Nagoya Comedy.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Here's Mark Bailey.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Mark Bailey, Mike Miller talked funny. I don't know how
funny this is. Actually, this is gonna be a lot
of callback, So, Mike, I wanted some of your advice.
When I'm working on the kendlebook for Amazon and eventually
the Audible book. I'm thinking of chapters, so I don't
know how many chapters I'm allotted. One of them is
my Mom coming over on olive oil boat. Saved from
Fascism from US kindergarten in Sicily first grade mischief. We
(00:34):
read that and I came to New York. Couldn't communicate
with the teacher.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
You and the kids in the back of the indeed
of the class.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And I'm being careful for my language. But the way
you say in Sicilian, what are we doing? What are
you talking about? What does it mean? It sounds like
an F word? All right? Another chapter Comedy and the
mom don't mix. Sammy Gravano's that chapter. Logan went to
Hollywood and I stayed in radio, and then I went
to Japan. Another chapter Radio in Japan. So think about
(01:03):
all the stuff we talked about the podcast. Am I
missing something? That's what I'm looking for. Gas Lighting by
foreigners in Japan. That's a whole book, raising bi racial kids, language,
nerd nerdy stuff, learning Japanese. The radicals they don't help
you at all. They're really loud in the black fans.
They don't help to learn.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I hate the radicals, the radical left and the radical right.
Kind of related to the right radical and the left radical.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Kind of related to that is I learned twenty one
hundred kanji to pass level one. Now I gonna learn emoji.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Comedy in Japan, yeah, weddings in Japan.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, Narration arguments, divorce in Japan.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yeah, divorce in Japan. That's one dealing with past bad
narration people that didn't even go to college and they
did narration, but they did the first textbook, so I
have to I have to recreate their pronunciation. That's wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Oh no, that's awful.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
How would you pronounce this? G O E T E.
The author and the philosopher good to.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, is that very good to?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Or that's correct? That's what I said. I was corrected.
I was correct, it's go And they said, you know
I do speak German?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Was he Yiddish? And they said, you know, it's actually
not true. I actually speak twelve languages. If you'd like
to ask me questions something, you know. And they're like,
well no, but they said, Goeita, so you have to
do it, okay, So they walk off to the cliffs.
So I have So they went into the island, so
I have to go on.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
There is my name going to be on this thing?
Can you take it off? Yeah? What's the name they
do in Hollywood? If they hate the movie that changed
their name to Alan Smithy?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Right? Yeah, here's another one that makes me down my sanity.
O V E R S E A S. Which party
is accented? O V E R.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes E A S overseas? Yeah, right, not overseas.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
That's what my partner said. And then my boss said,
well she said overseas. I said, but she's wrong, and
they said it's over seas. Overseas could be a verse.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Oh you write overseas, he oversees the division he oversees everything,
He oversees the what overseas? Yeah, because it's over yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
What's Sam Candison? What's this gonna be ten years from now?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It's gonna be sad?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So all right, that's another chapters. Good are we messing anything? That?
Narration in Japan? Teaching in Japan?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What are some bad shows? Good shows? Bad shows?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Oh? Yeah, good show shows.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Like we're some of the things. Did you talk about
the Jimpeeda episode or do you want to talk about
that being hit in the subway? Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, I've never talked about I don't think I ever have.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I think you talked about it on the podcast once.
We talked about that, people bumping you subway, your problems
in the subway. You could write a whole chapter about
the subway. Weird people on the train at the time
that Miles saw you and you didn't see him, and
he's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Man, I'm sitting on the train. And at the time
they had a pictures saying these are the things you
shouldn't do on the train. One of them is a
guy with a newspaper taking up the whole car, and
another one is a lady knitting. To right on me
is a guy with a newspaper, and to the left
of me, he's a woman knitting. And you're gonna put
an eye on.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Right next to them with luisyk and on my pointing.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm like, this is like a parode of what we're not.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Supposed to do. You should have taken a picture of that.
That would be awesome.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Then there's a guy eating and talking on his cellphone.
You're famous, you guys. There's caricatures. If you run and.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Play it like bingo, you like put a little mark
like in eat square. You're actually could do a whole
you could do a whole chapter on your your your
experiences with the Japanese mob, and you could do a
contrast with the American mob. American mob, Japanese mob.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I just have a recent one antidote I gotta tell.
But before that, I was gonna say, oh yeah, getting
stopped bicycles.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
And right bicycles in Japan.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
It's a big one, dealing with cops in Japan.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Cops.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So I have to get to work. So children, I yeah,
it's not your job. I'm not making you late for work. Officers,
and you're on.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
The ye I'm not. I was actually thinking of turning
that into a bit, you know, like you do the
old Remember they used to have those old Kaiwa TV
shows in Japan and they go the vocabulary section, they
go where is the bathroom?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Where is the bathroom? To this? I was thinking you
could do that like with the police, where you go
rajo adi musk cop raijo adi must cut? Do you
have a warrant? Yeah, that's not that's not my blood.
What does she know?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
What's what's my motive? What's my motive? Is this your bicycle?
Is that your bag?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Can I look at your bag?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
So? I had a recent one. I just got a
don't tell tell mama, but I bought my own bikes Nima.
I got it down at.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, and it's got a real registration on and everything.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Very professional, great locks and very sturdy.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Anyway, So I was over smoking some stogies near our
favorite place where you buy them and sitting on a
bench and these four I wouldn't say, chimpooto. It might
be we have to explain. Bosos Oku is like hot
rod guys. Sometimes they're recruited later to be because they're
recruited to be chimp, which are junior yakas, which become yakasa,
(06:21):
which is mafia. I think these guys probably bosos Oku
or something. But they were just walking around and they
saw me smoking and they walked up and they said, Mayaka,
it's drugs. And it's like, you're in the mob.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
You should just point to this storre and go where
it says, I said.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
They said where did you get this? Where's it from?
And I said, go right down right.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Down there, and no left, right down there, right down
there at the end. It's right over there. The end
literally was down and they're like, we've seen good Fellas
And I said, go down.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
The spirits that They said. The guy would like to
sell you some scars, and they said give us one.
I said, go buy them. I mself. They don't grow
on trees. Tobacco doesn't grow on planets. Okay, autistic guy, No,
since one more thing, it kind of does.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
But they're hassling you. They wanted free cigars.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
My keys, and my bike. One guy he goes, can
I take it for a spin? To quote Good Fellows,
That's when I knew I would never see my bicycle.
So in good Fellaws he said, when Jimmy asked me
to go down to Florida. I know it's gonna get wagged.
That's when I knew I was never coming back from Florida.
That's when I knew I never seen my bike again.
(07:30):
So I took the key out and they put it in.
They're like, no, no, no, no, I think I'm gonna
steal it. And I said, I don't take that at all,
but let's take a picture. No, no, no, no. If
I can't take a picture with us, you're not touching
my bike. And said, what do you want a picture
for it? I said, so I could show the cop
my butt goes missing. Right then I had a cap
(07:51):
on because it was cold. And then I'm thinking they're
gonna swap your cap I can't show you. But it's
a beautiful wool knit it in your beautiful So I
took it, put it in, and I'm thinking, like, what
else did the guys steal? You know? And then just
stand around and this is what I started to get alarmed.
And I said, so what do you what are the students? No,
what do you guys do? Yeah? Silence, Oh no, wrong answer,
(08:16):
wrong question. I ask something else? Oh no, I said,
so you were in university. No, not date it on?
Wait on't you know steak in university? This guy's probably
twenty twenty one, up to no good. Yeah. And another
one goes teach you some English. It's all the Japanese.
(08:37):
She's some swear words in English. Yeah. I'm like, well,
I don't want to do that. I said, you want
to take a picture now? No, no, no, no no.
I'm like, all right, maybe you were walking this way,
maybe keep going that way? Yeah, no, no, no, you're
telling me. And I said, you know, and I faked
and I said, oh, I went to the police because
my old bike was stolen. Police are on the line
(08:59):
you will talk to about And I got out of there.
That was a close call.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Oh that's horrible. Man in the park kind of in
the park.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
No, you know where Spirits is, right around the corner
of the benches.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Oh there. Oh really they were giving you trouble there.
There's a lot of people walking around there, and I
think that's going to be a safer area.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I think. Technically, I see a lot of cigarette butts there.
Technically you're not allowed to smoke on the public streets. Okay,
they're probably going to try to blackmail me.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's never you know.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's like, so, I'm like, what do you what do
you do for job? Silence. I didn't hear an answer.
He might not want to answer.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, maybe so you guys work in bars.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
What I think is they do working back for the
mob and they shake down and.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
They may end up behind bars at some point as well.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
They shake down people. All right, any other topics for
the book?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
That's a good story.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
What else?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
The bicycle? You don't want to talk about that dollar mama.
I guess language a little bit, language language kanji. You
could talk about uh oh our Carter witt oh yeah,
and his his passive aggressive hamscent promotion and how he
ripped you off and who else? What else can we
(10:12):
talk about?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
People? Well, getting fired from jobs, quitting jobs, working for
people who It happens in weddings, it happens at akaia,
a lot of ekaiwa and businesses.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Just think of it like aa, when did you hit
rock bottom?
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah? That we basically it's like you're so, let's say
you're forty and your boss is thirty. Yeah, and he's
the son of the owner. Yeah, and he doesn't know
anything about the best you've been teaching for twenty years.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah, and he wasn't telling you advice and.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
He can't speak English. Yeah, and it's like you may
be my boss, but you're not my superior.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I ended up working for a mob guy who ran
a kaiwa. The manager was his mistress, this young Japanese girl,
and she'd always say like can I I'm like, maybe
don't do that in front of the students. Is that helpful?
Oh yeah, Bob Saga, Is that helpful? Is that helpful?
That's a good chapter, Bob saggo people I.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Knew, people knew in New York eighties and the rivalry
between Gilbert Godford and Seinfeld. People would love that.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You might get a lot of readers for that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Raising kids. I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Advice for Japan famous people who listened to our podcast.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Low India.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
This is not a chapter, but you just told me
where the best.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
And you're in Turkey. Yeah, you're your wonderful travels in Turkey. Yeah,
give you chicken.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's a good one. Yeah. He's gonna be in encyclopedia.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah, yeah, your friends you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
This is not a chapter, but My friends recently were
in Japan and they went to Hiroshima and they had
a thing. I've never heard of this. I heard about
it with a barber where I went into a barber, yeah,
to get a haircut, and he said reservation only, and
there's no signs that says that. And then a guy
came in after me and I said, you're Yakudi muscat.
You have a reservation you know? No, you don't need one.
So they made making up rules. That's one making up
(11:48):
rules in Japan. Yeah, pulled them out of your butt. Yeah.
But anyway, they went to and they like Yaki TOI,
so they went into it. It's basically chicken kabambu and
they were told it's reservation only. So I wish you
take it a picture.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Put them on Debuto's website there.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Yeah, ask them to show you the sign, take a picture,
send it to me. Yeah, they can't read it. Yeah,
I said, it sounds weird.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Because Debuto used to have a list of like a
what was it called, like the Bad Actors List, and
it was all these stores that had signs in the
windows that said no foreigners. So now probably they're more
conscious of that, so they take the sign off, but
they say just say no, we're booked or we're you know,
we're busy or whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
A true story. Someone I knew that's called my inlaws
had a sign like that in their shot. Oh wow,
I was like the aclus took me eight years to
get that sogn wow. I said, I'm just going to
get it laminated. Yeah, and I just threw it away.
Said members only, and it said no foreigners. And they
said you can say members only. Yeah, you can't say
(12:44):
no foreigner.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yes, but this is Japan. You got freedom of speech
and you can be as racist as you want in
this country.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
And they said the thing is exactly They said, the
thing is we can't. It's a hassle for us. We
like our regular customers and we can't speak English. Yeah,
like my wife can, but she's busy.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Now there's no excuse. There's Google Translate.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah you can, just you need.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
You can translate the whole menu in the Google camera.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I said, you could do this. This is legal. No
English spoken, that's yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, just let people know.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
People can. I had a phrasebook when I came to nineteen.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Oh do you have you know you have a dictionary
and an encyclopedia and a translator in your pocket.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Only there was a book or a little machine. You're
carrying a pocket. Yeah, you could, like you.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Can actually translate your speech.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Or you could ask an assistant on your little machine
Siri translate this.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah. I do that all the time. I use sirih
all the time for translations.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
So I've got the nerdy jewey brain trying to figure
out what the hell happened, because I never had that
happen to me, and I was in here ross went
for five minutes. It never happened to me.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, I'm trying to figure so it's
like it's like a reverse of Playboy, Penthouse letters and
Penhouse letters.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I never thought it would happen to me. I always
thought it would happen to me.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I always thought it would never happen to me.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
You never did. I know what happened to them, otherwise
they wouldn't have mentioned it.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, And I'm thinking, I'm thinking this is a lot
to hers snow.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
So I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm looking and one of
my buddies has sunglasses on. And if you walk into
a rustling with sunglasses, that's a stereotype.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh oh okay.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Also hats and sunglasses not good. You don't do that
well you look like that, you look like.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Clavas are okay, But no hats in the sulass.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
But I mean the sunglasses. It used to be a
big thing. I actually suspicious interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
But I wasn't in a bar with Albert once. He
was wearing sunglasses and he was very suspicious.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Well he's without the sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
He's always right though. You should get him and Peter together.
They could have a.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Big good God, Yeah, I had a thing on.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's like when you get the two people, you hear
about the experiment they did in the sixties and when
they could do whatever they wanted was psychology where they
had the two Jesuses, where they had three Jesus, three
guys who thought they were Jesus, and they put them
together in the same room. They want to see who
you know, when.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I'm arguing with someone, like if you argue with me
about Ottawa, you argue with me about the sisters and
languagelah blah blah. At one point one of us is
going to ask the other one, do you think I
know anything about it?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I mean, are you just jerking me around. Yeah, you
know I know some things about some things, right, and
give me my niche Yeah, all right, don't challenge me
on everything.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Why do you have to do that. I don't understand
why they have to do that to you.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
And so I know you don't want to I know
you don't want to hear about insecurity. You don't hear
about broccoli. But you brought up Albert. So there's a
guy that's a friend of ours, and I kind of
went off on him because he was spouting Albert's stuff
about yeah okay, and I said, well, you know the
origins of it in Italian. You want to debate broccoli
(15:35):
and Italian? And he's like, why would I do that?
I said, because I know what I'm talking about, and
broccoli come from Italy. The broccoli family of James Bond
didn't name the vegetable after them, It was vice versa.
And I said, do you even know what broccoli means?
There's a slang word that means stupid, but also broccoli
is the diminutive plural. I can do this in Italian
(15:56):
if you'd like, But I mean, you challenge me on
something that just I got this nerdy Jewish brain, and
it goes round and around, and the wheels and the
brain go around and round.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You're like Google with an attitude.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Oh, you want to search for this. No, I'm going
to tell you. I'm going to tell you want to
search that. No, I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I was giving him questions like did you mean this?
Did you mean I'm wrong? No? And I said no.
Next time I asked Albert this about brocole, He goes,
I don't want to ask him about broccoli. He brought
it up. He's wrong. Ask him what is the root brocco?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Is it means it's green? He comes out of the
means sprout, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
And broccole is little sprout. Yeah, that's what it means. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
This guy says a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
And I just came from the seventeen hundreds. Yeah, and
the broccoli family was named after that.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, it makes more it makes more sense, right.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
But you know you're arguing with someone will call this
guy Jimmy. He goes, why do you care so much
about what Albert says? I said? Because he's making me
look things up again.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You just said the name they.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Ok, you know, we said up.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
But when we said you were trying to avoid all
the names, but.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
We've said Albert a few times. Yeah, but Jimmy is
not the real name. Yeah, And I said, because he
made me look it up again. Yes, I already knew.
I had to regoogle it to make sure I'm not
loosing my mind and I hate doing that. Yeah, it's like, Mike,
you had to look up how to do the Canadian
accent again. You knew how to do it, and I
told you it was a little off, and now you
(17:23):
had to google it and you.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, that's that's like online discussions where you say, you know,
this guy's blue, and it's almost like, I need a source.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I've never heard that, and I need a source. It's
the sources. Look up. Yeah, but when I look up,
it's purple. You know, it's like, oh, come on, man.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That's not what they do in Sicily?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Like well, you se yeah, you start to think am
I wrong?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Like getting gas lit?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Right? They're like, when did this ever happen in Sicily?
When did they do this? And I said, okay, to
be fair, they did this. So sixty three to sixty
eight that's when I remember it opening, and that's what
my mom remembers me. Well, I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, that's on you.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
You're thirty, right, So when Kennedy was shot, did you
hear about it? You weren't even boring?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Did it have a shot heard round the womb?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Did it happen when you heard about it, or did
it happen when it happened. If a married guy, George Carliff,
a marry guy walks into the Varce alone, is you're
still wrong?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
All right, Mark Bailey, My mother talks funny
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey in comics
from all Over. We ended up in Japan, not that
there is anything wrong with that.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
The Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio dot Com and
Nagoya Comedy.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Here's Mark Bailey.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Mark Bailey, Mike Miller talked funny. I don't know how
funny this is. Actually, this is gonna be a lot
of callback, So, Mike, I wanted some of your advice.
When I'm working on the kendlebook for Amazon and eventually
the Audible book. I'm thinking of chapters, so I don't
know how many chapters I'm allotted. One of them is
my Mom coming over on olive oil boat. Saved from
Fascism from US kindergarten in Sicily first grade mischief. We
(00:34):
read that and I came to New York. Couldn't communicate
with the teacher.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
You and the kids in the back of the indeed
of the class.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And I'm being careful for my language. But the way
you say in Sicilian, what are we doing? What are
you talking about? What does it mean? It sounds like
an F word? All right? Another chapter Comedy and the
mom don't mix. Sammy Gravano's that chapter. Logan went to
Hollywood and I stayed in radio, and then I went
to Japan. Another chapter Radio in Japan. So think about
(01:03):
all the stuff we talked about the podcast. Am I
missing something? That's what I'm looking for. Gas Lighting by
foreigners in Japan. That's a whole book, raising bi racial kids, language,
nerd nerdy stuff, learning Japanese. The radicals they don't help
you at all. They're really loud in the black fans.
They don't help to learn.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
I hate the radicals, the radical left and the radical right.
Kind of related to the right radical and the left radical.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Kind of related to that is I learned twenty one
hundred kanji to pass level one. Now I gonna learn emoji.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Comedy in Japan, yeah, weddings in Japan.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, Narration arguments, divorce in Japan.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yeah, divorce in Japan. That's one dealing with past bad
narration people that didn't even go to college and they
did narration, but they did the first textbook, so I
have to I have to recreate their pronunciation. That's wrong.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Oh no, that's awful.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
How would you pronounce this? G O E T E.
The author and the philosopher good to.
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Yeah, is that very good to?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Or that's correct? That's what I said. I was corrected.
I was correct, it's go And they said, you know
I do speak German?
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Oh my god?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Was he Yiddish? And they said, you know, it's actually
not true. I actually speak twelve languages. If you'd like
to ask me questions something, you know. And they're like,
well no, but they said, Goeita, so you have to
do it, okay, So they walk off to the cliffs.
So I have So they went into the island, so
I have to go on.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
There is my name going to be on this thing?
Can you take it off? Yeah? What's the name they
do in Hollywood? If they hate the movie that changed
their name to Alan Smithy?
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Right? Yeah, here's another one that makes me down my sanity.
O V E R S E A S. Which party
is accented? O V E R.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yes E A S overseas? Yeah, right, not overseas.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
That's what my partner said. And then my boss said,
well she said overseas. I said, but she's wrong, and
they said it's over seas. Overseas could be a verse.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Oh you write overseas, he oversees the division he oversees everything,
He oversees the what overseas? Yeah, because it's over yeah yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
What's Sam Candison? What's this gonna be ten years from now?
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It's gonna be sad?
Speaker 2 (03:16):
So all right, that's another chapters. Good are we messing anything? That?
Narration in Japan? Teaching in Japan?
Speaker 1 (03:26):
What are some bad shows? Good shows? Bad shows?
Speaker 2 (03:31):
Oh? Yeah, good show shows.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Like we're some of the things. Did you talk about
the Jimpeeda episode or do you want to talk about
that being hit in the subway? Oh?
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, I've never talked about I don't think I ever have.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
I think you talked about it on the podcast once.
We talked about that, people bumping you subway, your problems
in the subway. You could write a whole chapter about
the subway. Weird people on the train at the time
that Miles saw you and you didn't see him, and
he's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Man, I'm sitting on the train. And at the time
they had a pictures saying these are the things you
shouldn't do on the train. One of them is a
guy with a newspaper taking up the whole car, and
another one is a lady knitting. To right on me
is a guy with a newspaper, and to the left
of me, he's a woman knitting. And you're gonna put
an eye on.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Right next to them with luisyk and on my pointing.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
I'm like, this is like a parode of what we're not.
Speaker 1 (04:19):
Supposed to do. You should have taken a picture of that.
That would be awesome.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Then there's a guy eating and talking on his cellphone.
You're famous, you guys. There's caricatures. If you run and.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Play it like bingo, you like put a little mark
like in eat square. You're actually could do a whole
you could do a whole chapter on your your your
experiences with the Japanese mob, and you could do a
contrast with the American mob. American mob, Japanese mob.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I just have a recent one antidote I gotta tell.
But before that, I was gonna say, oh yeah, getting
stopped bicycles.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
And right bicycles in Japan.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
It's a big one, dealing with cops in Japan.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Cops.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
So I have to get to work. So children, I yeah,
it's not your job. I'm not making you late for work. Officers,
and you're on.
Speaker 1 (04:59):
The ye I'm not. I was actually thinking of turning
that into a bit, you know, like you do the
old Remember they used to have those old Kaiwa TV
shows in Japan and they go the vocabulary section, they
go where is the bathroom?
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Where is the bathroom? To this? I was thinking you
could do that like with the police, where you go
rajo adi musk cop raijo adi must cut? Do you
have a warrant? Yeah, that's not that's not my blood.
What does she know?
Speaker 2 (05:32):
What's what's my motive? What's my motive? Is this your bicycle?
Is that your bag?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Can I look at your bag?
Speaker 2 (05:43):
So? I had a recent one. I just got a
don't tell tell mama, but I bought my own bikes Nima.
I got it down at.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
Yeah, and it's got a real registration on and everything.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Very professional, great locks and very sturdy.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
Anyway, So I was over smoking some stogies near our
favorite place where you buy them and sitting on a
bench and these four I wouldn't say, chimpooto. It might
be we have to explain. Bosos Oku is like hot
rod guys. Sometimes they're recruited later to be because they're
recruited to be chimp, which are junior yakas, which become yakasa,
(06:21):
which is mafia. I think these guys probably bosos Oku
or something. But they were just walking around and they
saw me smoking and they walked up and they said, Mayaka,
it's drugs. And it's like, you're in the mob.
Speaker 1 (06:31):
You should just point to this storre and go where
it says, I said.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
They said where did you get this? Where's it from?
And I said, go right down right.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Down there, and no left, right down there, right down
there at the end. It's right over there. The end
literally was down and they're like, we've seen good Fellas
And I said, go down.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
The spirits that They said. The guy would like to
sell you some scars, and they said give us one.
I said, go buy them. I mself. They don't grow
on trees. Tobacco doesn't grow on planets. Okay, autistic guy, No,
since one more thing, it kind of does.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
But they're hassling you. They wanted free cigars.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
My keys, and my bike. One guy he goes, can
I take it for a spin? To quote Good Fellows,
That's when I knew I would never see my bicycle.
So in good Fellaws he said, when Jimmy asked me
to go down to Florida. I know it's gonna get wagged.
That's when I knew I was never coming back from Florida.
That's when I knew I never seen my bike again.
(07:30):
So I took the key out and they put it in.
They're like, no, no, no, no, I think I'm gonna
steal it. And I said, I don't take that at all,
but let's take a picture. No, no, no, no. If
I can't take a picture with us, you're not touching
my bike. And said, what do you want a picture
for it? I said, so I could show the cop
my butt goes missing. Right then I had a cap
(07:51):
on because it was cold. And then I'm thinking they're
gonna swap your cap I can't show you. But it's
a beautiful wool knit it in your beautiful So I
took it, put it in, and I'm thinking, like, what
else did the guys steal? You know? And then just
stand around and this is what I started to get alarmed.
And I said, so what do you what are the students? No,
what do you guys do? Yeah? Silence, Oh no, wrong answer,
(08:16):
wrong question. I ask something else? Oh no, I said,
so you were in university. No, not date it on?
Wait on't you know steak in university? This guy's probably
twenty twenty one, up to no good. Yeah. And another
one goes teach you some English. It's all the Japanese.
(08:37):
She's some swear words in English. Yeah. I'm like, well,
I don't want to do that. I said, you want
to take a picture now? No, no, no, no no.
I'm like, all right, maybe you were walking this way,
maybe keep going that way? Yeah, no, no, no, you're
telling me. And I said, you know, and I faked
and I said, oh, I went to the police because
my old bike was stolen. Police are on the line
(08:59):
you will talk to about And I got out of there.
That was a close call.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
Oh that's horrible. Man in the park kind of in
the park.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
No, you know where Spirits is, right around the corner
of the benches.
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Oh there. Oh really they were giving you trouble there.
There's a lot of people walking around there, and I
think that's going to be a safer area.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
I think. Technically, I see a lot of cigarette butts there.
Technically you're not allowed to smoke on the public streets. Okay,
they're probably going to try to blackmail me.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's never you know.
Speaker 2 (09:27):
It's like, so, I'm like, what do you what do
you do for job? Silence. I didn't hear an answer.
He might not want to answer.
Speaker 1 (09:36):
Yeah, maybe so you guys work in bars.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
What I think is they do working back for the
mob and they shake down and.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
They may end up behind bars at some point as well.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
They shake down people. All right, any other topics for
the book?
Speaker 1 (09:48):
That's a good story.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
What else?
Speaker 1 (09:52):
The bicycle? You don't want to talk about that dollar mama.
I guess language a little bit, language language kanji. You
could talk about uh oh our Carter witt oh yeah,
and his his passive aggressive hamscent promotion and how he
ripped you off and who else? What else can we
(10:12):
talk about?
Speaker 2 (10:13):
People? Well, getting fired from jobs, quitting jobs, working for
people who It happens in weddings, it happens at akaia,
a lot of ekaiwa and businesses.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Just think of it like aa, when did you hit
rock bottom?
Speaker 2 (10:23):
Yeah? That we basically it's like you're so, let's say
you're forty and your boss is thirty. Yeah, and he's
the son of the owner. Yeah, and he doesn't know
anything about the best you've been teaching for twenty years.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
Yeah, and he wasn't telling you advice and.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
He can't speak English. Yeah, and it's like you may
be my boss, but you're not my superior.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
I ended up working for a mob guy who ran
a kaiwa. The manager was his mistress, this young Japanese girl,
and she'd always say like can I I'm like, maybe
don't do that in front of the students. Is that helpful?
Oh yeah, Bob Saga, Is that helpful? Is that helpful?
That's a good chapter, Bob saggo people I.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Knew, people knew in New York eighties and the rivalry
between Gilbert Godford and Seinfeld. People would love that.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
That's hilarious.
Speaker 1 (11:06):
You might get a lot of readers for that.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Raising kids. I think that's it.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
Advice for Japan famous people who listened to our podcast.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
Low India.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
This is not a chapter, but you just told me
where the best.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
And you're in Turkey. Yeah, you're your wonderful travels in Turkey. Yeah,
give you chicken.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
It's a good one. Yeah. He's gonna be in encyclopedia.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Yeah, yeah, your friends you're talking about.
Speaker 2 (11:26):
This is not a chapter, but My friends recently were
in Japan and they went to Hiroshima and they had
a thing. I've never heard of this. I heard about
it with a barber where I went into a barber, yeah,
to get a haircut, and he said reservation only, and
there's no signs that says that. And then a guy
came in after me and I said, you're Yakudi muscat.
You have a reservation you know? No, you don't need one.
So they made making up rules. That's one making up
(11:48):
rules in Japan. Yeah, pulled them out of your butt. Yeah.
But anyway, they went to and they like Yaki TOI,
so they went into it. It's basically chicken kabambu and
they were told it's reservation only. So I wish you
take it a picture.
Speaker 1 (12:01):
Put them on Debuto's website there.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
Yeah, ask them to show you the sign, take a picture,
send it to me. Yeah, they can't read it. Yeah,
I said, it sounds weird.
Speaker 1 (12:08):
Because Debuto used to have a list of like a
what was it called, like the Bad Actors List, and
it was all these stores that had signs in the
windows that said no foreigners. So now probably they're more
conscious of that, so they take the sign off, but
they say just say no, we're booked or we're you know,
we're busy or whatever.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
A true story. Someone I knew that's called my inlaws
had a sign like that in their shot. Oh wow,
I was like the aclus took me eight years to
get that sogn wow. I said, I'm just going to
get it laminated. Yeah, and I just threw it away.
Said members only, and it said no foreigners. And they
said you can say members only. Yeah, you can't say
(12:44):
no foreigner.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yes, but this is Japan. You got freedom of speech
and you can be as racist as you want in
this country.
Speaker 2 (12:49):
And they said the thing is exactly They said, the
thing is we can't. It's a hassle for us. We
like our regular customers and we can't speak English. Yeah,
like my wife can, but she's busy.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Now there's no excuse. There's Google Translate.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah you can, just you need.
Speaker 1 (13:01):
You can translate the whole menu in the Google camera.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I said, you could do this. This is legal. No
English spoken, that's yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah, just let people know.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
People can. I had a phrasebook when I came to nineteen.
Speaker 1 (13:11):
Oh do you have you know you have a dictionary
and an encyclopedia and a translator in your pocket.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Only there was a book or a little machine. You're
carrying a pocket. Yeah, you could, like you.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Can actually translate your speech.
Speaker 2 (13:25):
Or you could ask an assistant on your little machine
Siri translate this.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
Yeah. I do that all the time. I use sirih
all the time for translations.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
So I've got the nerdy jewey brain trying to figure
out what the hell happened, because I never had that
happen to me, and I was in here ross went
for five minutes. It never happened to me.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Well, I'm trying to figure so it's
like it's like a reverse of Playboy, Penthouse letters and
Penhouse letters.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I never thought it would happen to me. I always
thought it would happen to me.
Speaker 1 (13:51):
I always thought it would never happen to me.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
You never did. I know what happened to them, otherwise
they wouldn't have mentioned it.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Yeah, And I'm thinking, I'm thinking this is a lot
to hers snow.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
So I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm looking and one of
my buddies has sunglasses on. And if you walk into
a rustling with sunglasses, that's a stereotype.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh oh okay.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Also hats and sunglasses not good. You don't do that
well you look like that, you look like.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Clavas are okay, But no hats in the sulass.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
But I mean the sunglasses. It used to be a
big thing. I actually suspicious interesting.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
But I wasn't in a bar with Albert once. He
was wearing sunglasses and he was very suspicious.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Well he's without the sunglasses.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
He's always right though. You should get him and Peter together.
They could have a.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Big good God, Yeah, I had a thing on.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
It's like when you get the two people, you hear
about the experiment they did in the sixties and when
they could do whatever they wanted was psychology where they
had the two Jesuses, where they had three Jesus, three
guys who thought they were Jesus, and they put them
together in the same room. They want to see who
you know, when.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I'm arguing with someone, like if you argue with me
about Ottawa, you argue with me about the sisters and
languagelah blah blah. At one point one of us is
going to ask the other one, do you think I
know anything about it?
Speaker 1 (14:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:00):
I mean, are you just jerking me around. Yeah, you
know I know some things about some things, right, and
give me my niche Yeah, all right, don't challenge me
on everything.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Why do you have to do that. I don't understand
why they have to do that to you.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
And so I know you don't want to I know
you don't want to hear about insecurity. You don't hear
about broccoli. But you brought up Albert. So there's a
guy that's a friend of ours, and I kind of
went off on him because he was spouting Albert's stuff
about yeah okay, and I said, well, you know the
origins of it in Italian. You want to debate broccoli
(15:35):
and Italian? And he's like, why would I do that?
I said, because I know what I'm talking about, and
broccoli come from Italy. The broccoli family of James Bond
didn't name the vegetable after them, It was vice versa.
And I said, do you even know what broccoli means?
There's a slang word that means stupid, but also broccoli
is the diminutive plural. I can do this in Italian
(15:56):
if you'd like, But I mean, you challenge me on
something that just I got this nerdy Jewish brain, and
it goes round and around, and the wheels and the
brain go around and round.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
You're like Google with an attitude.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, And I'm like.
Speaker 1 (16:10):
Oh, you want to search for this. No, I'm going
to tell you. I'm going to tell you want to
search that. No, I'm going to tell you.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
I was giving him questions like did you mean this?
Did you mean I'm wrong? No? And I said no.
Next time I asked Albert this about brocole, He goes,
I don't want to ask him about broccoli. He brought
it up. He's wrong. Ask him what is the root brocco?
Speaker 1 (16:27):
Is it means it's green? He comes out of the
means sprout, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
And broccole is little sprout. Yeah, that's what it means. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:34):
This guy says a lot of stuff.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
And I just came from the seventeen hundreds. Yeah, and
the broccoli family was named after that.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah, it makes more it makes more sense, right.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
But you know you're arguing with someone will call this
guy Jimmy. He goes, why do you care so much
about what Albert says? I said? Because he's making me
look things up again.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
You just said the name they.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Ok, you know, we said up.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
But when we said you were trying to avoid all
the names, but.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
We've said Albert a few times. Yeah, but Jimmy is
not the real name. Yeah, And I said, because he
made me look it up again. Yes, I already knew.
I had to regoogle it to make sure I'm not
loosing my mind and I hate doing that. Yeah, it's like, Mike,
you had to look up how to do the Canadian
accent again. You knew how to do it, and I
told you it was a little off, and now you
(17:23):
had to google it and you.
Speaker 1 (17:25):
Well, that's that's like online discussions where you say, you know,
this guy's blue, and it's almost like, I need a source.
Speaker 2 (17:31):
I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
I've never heard that, and I need a source. It's
the sources. Look up. Yeah, but when I look up,
it's purple. You know, it's like, oh, come on, man.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That's not what they do in Sicily?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
Like well, you se yeah, you start to think am
I wrong?
Speaker 2 (17:43):
Maybe?
Speaker 1 (17:43):
Like getting gas lit?
Speaker 2 (17:44):
Right? They're like, when did this ever happen in Sicily?
When did they do this? And I said, okay, to
be fair, they did this. So sixty three to sixty
eight that's when I remember it opening, and that's what
my mom remembers me. Well, I've never heard that.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, that's on you.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
You're thirty, right, So when Kennedy was shot, did you
hear about it? You weren't even boring?
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Did it have a shot heard round the womb?
Speaker 2 (18:11):
Did it happen when you heard about it, or did
it happen when it happened. If a married guy, George Carliff,
a marry guy walks into the Varce alone, is you're
still wrong?
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:21):
All right, Mark Bailey, My mother talks funny
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