September 11, 2025 • 6 mins
Comedian and producer Mark Bailey spills some tea on a stipend comedy writing job he is doing in the US for a limited time, how GABA gangster english school prepared Mark for long SNL style hours, how much a top wanted criminal is worth in Japan, and writing for a humorless boss. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We ended up in Japan because
we wanted to see one hundred and twenty six million
people all standing at subway doors and blocking stairwells. The
Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio Dot comed Nagoya Comedy.
Here's Mark Bailey.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to Talk Funny. It's Mark Bailey, flights Allo this
time and a few times probably. I'm in the US
and undisclosed location and undisclosed, very large city at an
undisclosed comedy corporation. I guess you know the published comedy
on the internet. And I'm under a non disclosure agreement,
(00:41):
so I can't say the name of the place. But
they're paying me well, and I'm blinking and they're dreaming
me well, and I'm getting paid a nice stepman per day.
We will, for the sick of brevity, call this place
a lampoon, a lampom, not the lampoon. There's too many
letters there A lamp anyway, having a good time to
place a full here. I like the environment, but we're
(01:02):
working twelve hour days. We're working all weekends. I've worked
actually two weeks straight. We started at eight thirty am
and we leave. If I'm lucky, we leave at nine.
Sometimes it's midnight. Sometimes we sleep under our desk, so
Gaba English Endigua has accustomed me. I knew it's worth
something for f's sake. I knew it was some kind
(01:23):
of experience besides comedy material. Gaba taught me to sleep
under my desk because I'm doing a ten pm class.
This is after Radio I folded. I was desperate, so
I was doing ten pm classes and then I'd have
to get up at four am at my house to
do a six am class. So I just slept under
my desk and I'm kind of doing that now at
a lampoon, not the lampoom. Another interesting thing is it's
(01:46):
kind of like working for Sunday Night Live. So you
write all these jokes and they want you to pressure
you to write two hundred jokes a week, sometimes two
hundred jokes in three days, depends on the deadline, and
then you have to pitch kind of like Sunday Night Live.
You have to picture you're joke in front of forty people,
and if you get two laughs, you'll get a consideration
and they might put your headline in but everybody knows that,
(02:07):
so nobody laughs at anybody. But if it's ridiculous, like
a lot of mine are, you get a lot of laughs.
It's a very tough for room. And then this is
the hardest part, is that my boss or boss is
on spectrum a little bit like if he was from Boston,
you'd say he's autistic, you know, if he was a
nice painter. He's autistic. I think, you know what I'm saying.
And so he's not being a jerk. But you tell
(02:30):
him a joke and they just just stn't cold cold
face deadpen And he'll say, so, why is that fun?
Is that fun? Yeah? I think so. I thought it
apparently not now I thought it was when I wrote it,
and he'd said why is that funny? And at first
I would get offended, but I would get offended, But
my coworker said, he's not being a jerk. He doesn't
(02:51):
get the jokes, doesn't like humor. Oh, how the hell
did you get this job? And I asked him, how
did you even get this job? You don't like humor
and he goes, I don't really recognize humor, And I said, so,
how did you get this job? And he said they
needed someone to crunch numbers, and they needed someone to
get the finances in. And I came from accounting, and
so I'm the boss, and that's what happened. And I said,
(03:12):
but you'd be perfectly happy managing at Kinkos, right, He goes, yeah,
that would be very interesting with the machines. The machines
and the more you've been told, even and I'm Jewish.
He's not Jewish, but he is statistic. So one of
my jokes got published and it was basically about Australia,
and it said Australians admit they made up all those animals.
(03:32):
And that was inspired by a local friend of mine
from a certain country who gas lights constantly and he
makes up stuff. He said his bicycle was stolen. We
see him on his bicycle the next day. It wasn't stolen.
He said his bicycle had GPS, and then he gets
drunk and he admits he doesn't have GPS and the bicycle.
He said that broccoli. The word broccoli, which I speak Italian,
(03:53):
so it means a little sprouted. That word is about
seven hundred years old. He said broccoli came from the
Fleming family and the Jr. Broccoli family, whatever their initials
are for the James Bond franchise, and then the Vestibles
is named after them. My point is people from this
country like the guest Light. That's how they get their jollies.
And it infuriated me. But I got a headline in
(04:15):
because everyone knows it's true, and a lampoon magazine put
it in because everybody knows that this country makes up crap.
All right, one more topic before we go. It could
be short win. In Japan, there are four most wanted criminals.
You know they have You know, in the US they
(04:36):
have the FBI's Top ten. Hey man, I made another
top ten. Mom said, al capum blam, blam blam. What's
that sound? All right? So that the top ten wanted
in Japan they have don't have as much crap, So
they have the top four wanted criminals and you can
see their pictures on the post office walls, just like
in the US, but you'll see theirs. And it's funny
because it reminds me of Doctor Evil from usin Powers movies.
(04:59):
How that's with you offer with one of these four fugitives,
the guilty of murder, theft, kid damping, and it bests
on my all four of them. How much would you
offer for one? A gazillion dollars now lower, a billion
dollars lower, a million dollars lower, five hundred thousand dollars lower,
(05:19):
one hundred thousand dollars lower, fifty thousand dollars, but ky
will do it in the end three hundred million in lower,
one hundred million en lower, twenty million year lower, ten
nine million yen lower. Do you want to catch these guys? Say? What?
(05:42):
Four million yen? Very warm? I only answer three million yon.
That's twenty thousand, a little bit over twenty dousands at
this exchange rate, about twenty thousand, four hundred dollars, So
twenty a half twenty thousand dollars being a you get
twenty thousand dollars. You know how many pinions that is?
So my question is do you want to fight crime
(06:06):
or do you want to catch these guys? Japan is
said to be corrupt by my friend who's in Canada
right now, who I will not name. I'm not saying this,
but he thinks Japan is corrupt. So even if it
was twenty thousand dollars reward for one criminal apprehended, on
the top four on the top four list of one
criminals in Japan twenty thousand dollars. The police was still
(06:28):
good half of that. So it's really give a kid
beaten up by the mob for twenty thousand dollars and
you get half of it, all right, I think I've
implicated myself enough in this episode because of staying Cold.
It's Mark Brayley. We talk funny
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and other
comics from all over. We ended up in Japan because
we wanted to see one hundred and twenty six million
people all standing at subway doors and blocking stairwells. The
Talk Funny podcast from Nagoya Radio Dot comed Nagoya Comedy.
Here's Mark Bailey.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Welcome to Talk Funny. It's Mark Bailey, flights Allo this
time and a few times probably. I'm in the US
and undisclosed location and undisclosed, very large city at an
undisclosed comedy corporation. I guess you know the published comedy
on the internet. And I'm under a non disclosure agreement,
(00:41):
so I can't say the name of the place. But
they're paying me well, and I'm blinking and they're dreaming
me well, and I'm getting paid a nice stepman per day.
We will, for the sick of brevity, call this place
a lampoon, a lampom, not the lampoon. There's too many
letters there A lamp anyway, having a good time to
place a full here. I like the environment, but we're
(01:02):
working twelve hour days. We're working all weekends. I've worked
actually two weeks straight. We started at eight thirty am
and we leave. If I'm lucky, we leave at nine.
Sometimes it's midnight. Sometimes we sleep under our desk, so
Gaba English Endigua has accustomed me. I knew it's worth
something for f's sake. I knew it was some kind
(01:23):
of experience besides comedy material. Gaba taught me to sleep
under my desk because I'm doing a ten pm class.
This is after Radio I folded. I was desperate, so
I was doing ten pm classes and then I'd have
to get up at four am at my house to
do a six am class. So I just slept under
my desk and I'm kind of doing that now at
a lampoon, not the lampoom. Another interesting thing is it's
(01:46):
kind of like working for Sunday Night Live. So you
write all these jokes and they want you to pressure
you to write two hundred jokes a week, sometimes two
hundred jokes in three days, depends on the deadline, and
then you have to pitch kind of like Sunday Night Live.
You have to picture you're joke in front of forty people,
and if you get two laughs, you'll get a consideration
and they might put your headline in but everybody knows that,
(02:07):
so nobody laughs at anybody. But if it's ridiculous, like
a lot of mine are, you get a lot of laughs.
It's a very tough for room. And then this is
the hardest part, is that my boss or boss is
on spectrum a little bit like if he was from Boston,
you'd say he's autistic, you know, if he was a
nice painter. He's autistic. I think, you know what I'm saying.
And so he's not being a jerk. But you tell
(02:30):
him a joke and they just just stn't cold cold
face deadpen And he'll say, so, why is that fun?
Is that fun? Yeah? I think so. I thought it
apparently not now I thought it was when I wrote it,
and he'd said why is that funny? And at first
I would get offended, but I would get offended, But
my coworker said, he's not being a jerk. He doesn't
(02:51):
get the jokes, doesn't like humor. Oh, how the hell
did you get this job? And I asked him, how
did you even get this job? You don't like humor
and he goes, I don't really recognize humor, And I said, so,
how did you get this job? And he said they
needed someone to crunch numbers, and they needed someone to
get the finances in. And I came from accounting, and
so I'm the boss, and that's what happened. And I said,
(03:12):
but you'd be perfectly happy managing at Kinkos, right, He goes, yeah,
that would be very interesting with the machines. The machines
and the more you've been told, even and I'm Jewish.
He's not Jewish, but he is statistic. So one of
my jokes got published and it was basically about Australia,
and it said Australians admit they made up all those animals.
(03:32):
And that was inspired by a local friend of mine
from a certain country who gas lights constantly and he
makes up stuff. He said his bicycle was stolen. We
see him on his bicycle the next day. It wasn't stolen.
He said his bicycle had GPS, and then he gets
drunk and he admits he doesn't have GPS and the bicycle.
He said that broccoli. The word broccoli, which I speak Italian,
(03:53):
so it means a little sprouted. That word is about
seven hundred years old. He said broccoli came from the
Fleming family and the Jr. Broccoli family, whatever their initials
are for the James Bond franchise, and then the Vestibles
is named after them. My point is people from this
country like the guest Light. That's how they get their jollies.
And it infuriated me. But I got a headline in
(04:15):
because everyone knows it's true, and a lampoon magazine put
it in because everybody knows that this country makes up crap.
All right, one more topic before we go. It could
be short win. In Japan, there are four most wanted criminals.
You know they have You know, in the US they
(04:36):
have the FBI's Top ten. Hey man, I made another
top ten. Mom said, al capum blam, blam blam. What's
that sound? All right? So that the top ten wanted
in Japan they have don't have as much crap, So
they have the top four wanted criminals and you can
see their pictures on the post office walls, just like
in the US, but you'll see theirs. And it's funny
because it reminds me of Doctor Evil from usin Powers movies.
(04:59):
How that's with you offer with one of these four fugitives,
the guilty of murder, theft, kid damping, and it bests
on my all four of them. How much would you
offer for one? A gazillion dollars now lower, a billion
dollars lower, a million dollars lower, five hundred thousand dollars lower,
(05:19):
one hundred thousand dollars lower, fifty thousand dollars, but ky
will do it in the end three hundred million in lower,
one hundred million en lower, twenty million year lower, ten
nine million yen lower. Do you want to catch these guys? Say? What?
(05:42):
Four million yen? Very warm? I only answer three million yon.
That's twenty thousand, a little bit over twenty dousands at
this exchange rate, about twenty thousand, four hundred dollars, So
twenty a half twenty thousand dollars being a you get
twenty thousand dollars. You know how many pinions that is?
So my question is do you want to fight crime
(06:06):
or do you want to catch these guys? Japan is
said to be corrupt by my friend who's in Canada
right now, who I will not name. I'm not saying this,
but he thinks Japan is corrupt. So even if it
was twenty thousand dollars reward for one criminal apprehended, on
the top four on the top four list of one
criminals in Japan twenty thousand dollars. The police was still
(06:28):
good half of that. So it's really give a kid
beaten up by the mob for twenty thousand dollars and
you get half of it, all right, I think I've
implicated myself enough in this episode because of staying Cold.
It's Mark Brayley. We talk funny
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