episode 319 Mark Bailey

Comedian and producer Mark Bailey  under an NDA by his employer, reviews a rejected joke and talks about pet peeves, if you see a video you are apparently an expert, things people tell you that they do not know about, and people I taught how to edit audio offering to improve the podcast for a percent of our 6 dollars.   Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
It's Talk Funny, a podcast by Mark Bailey and comics
from all over, brought to you by Nagoya Comedy dot Com.
Talk Funny. Thanks for your requests, but here's Mark Bailey anyway, and.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
Welcome back to Talk Funny. I'm Mark Bailey, back from
a major American city working for a comedy enterprise a lampoon,
not the lampoon anyway. It's great to be back, and
I have to say that. So one of the headlines.
I wrote a lot of headlines. I wrote up to
one thousand and a few of them. I think fifteen

(00:36):
to twenty are eventually going to get through. Fifteen of
gotten through so far. Anyway, it's because my boss was
I'm under a nondisclosure agreement and I still work for them.
So my boss told me I don't get comedy, and
I'm like, well, you know, we're working. I don't How
did you get this job? Was it in the bottom
of a cracker jack box? The headlines I thought you

(01:00):
guys would like that didn't make it yet. Based on
a true story, Rice car driver has fatal accident on
the street in his off time. Fans are furious it
wasn't caught on video. This leads me to a pet
peeve of mine. I'm getting tired of armchair experts. When

(01:22):
you see something on video or you see, you know,
an incident, someone has assassinated, someone's beaten up, there's police brutality,
you see the video. I saw the video, man, so
I know exactly what happened. You don't get it. I
saw the video. I know. I also saw the video.
We don't know the whole story. We don't know the
whole story, the context. But I saw the video. It

(01:44):
was like I was there. I was basically in the room.
I saw the video. Don't you understand you saw the
non four HD video. Okay, I saw there as a
bruder film. So I'm an expert on the Kennedy assassination.
Let me ask you a question. So you saw the video.
Did you see the movie? Movies filmed with video sometimes?

(02:06):
Did you see the movie Bunny and Clyde? Yeah, I
saw that. You saw it right. You saw the end
where Warren Beatty, if they'd done away playing Bonnie and Clyde,
they got shut to death by the Sheriff's department in
an ambush. You saw that, right, So did it really happen?
But I saw the video. Listen, I saw the Epstein video.

(02:29):
I saw the Epstein video. There's just a guard walked
with him and then he left. The guard left and
then they found the guy dead. Maybe it was a guard.
I'm not Einstein, but it could be the guard. Looking
at my list. Well, I'm getting tired of people say
so what do you do? Well, you know, I was
in radio in the States for ten years and in

(02:51):
Japan for fifteen years. Oh you know in radio. Then
they'll tell you in radio you don't need to speak
Japanese or region companies to you know, work in radio,
get a good job. Well, actually you do. I'm sorry, confused.
Who's the one in radio? You or me? No, but
that's what I heard. Oh remember when you and I
were working at RADIOI together. No, I never worked at radio.

(03:14):
I think that's my point. I did. I was there
and ZIP with fim Untolk our radio. What else are
we going to talk about? Not much going on in
the world. So I also don't want to get trolled.
Oh here's one getting a lot of comments. People are like, hey,
I like the podcast, Well, but these these are editors
you know that I used to know in radio from

(03:35):
the states basically people I hired, and then they'll say
I heard the podcast. I could actually make this sound
even better, And I said, and pay you with what?
And pay you with what? Listen it sounds better than
ninety eight percent of the podcasts we made six dollars
with effing Spotify can't cash it in until it's ten dollars.
So I'm really uninterested in polishing a shoe that I'm

(03:59):
never gonna walk in. And you're polishing, You're polishing a
piece of crap. I mean, the podcast is worth what
it's worth, and its content and the content and it's funny.
It's funny in the most podcasts, and we try to
be more regular as regular as we can. Some podcasts
have fifteen episodes and then they quit. So it's like, yeah,
I'm sure if I had PBS's budget, I could have

(04:22):
a much better sounding podcast and pay you with what. Why?
In the famous words of Jerry Lewis, why Why That's
summer reporter didn't really know who he was exactly, and said,
so do you ever take a retiring you're like late eighties,
And he said why why why now? Because you know,

(04:45):
because he wouldn't say, because you're old Why Why? All right?
I hope you guys enjoyed this. It's been a little
bit of time since I've been able to do this,
and we'll be back in future episodes. We're going to
talk about Riod comedy Gait, We're gonna talk about a
certain kind of musicians scandal that's happening in a city

(05:06):
near us, and we'll talk about some other kind of scandals.
See who else. We're gonna talk about YouTube and the
changes they're making and annoying ads in podcasts, which we
don't have any, which is why we don't have sponsors,
which is why I don't need you wasting my time
telling me you could make the podcast sound better. Yeah,

(05:27):
if I didn't have a full time job, I could
also make it sound better. It sounds better than ninety
eight percent of the other podcasts. Okay, Joe Rogan sounds
better because Joe Rogan is rich. He's getting a hundred
and fifty million dollars or something from Spotify. Right to
get off my lawn, Mark Bailey, I talk funny