November 6, 2025 • 8 mins
Comedians Mark Bailey and Mike Miller talk funny about post production the elected new Prime Minister of Japan, the choice between normal Japan politics and extreme Japanese politics, kicking deer in Nara park, all the deer kicking puns we can muster, Mark reads rejected headlines from his US comedy magazine job, the hazards of browsing garage sales on line, and do not buy used goods from people that have to feed their water buffalo in another country. Public disclosure: Mark and Mike are not prone to self-harm or even ending anything in any way. Brought to you by Nagoyaradio.com, Nagoyacomedy.com, and stand up comic Mark Bailey.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's talk funny. If I agree with Mark Bailey, we
would both be wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And now Mark, Mark Bailey, Mike Miller and talk funny.
Mike is just telling me about the female politician. She's
probably going to be the prime minister.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Has she been formally declared? No, I guess no.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
I don't think they've had elections yet, right, but they could.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
They can name her prime minister without having.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
The leading candidate, and then you have elections and this
we want to name the party.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
But with the other new party. You know what, I've
never favored the old people.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, now, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
There's the old party and there's the badass Nazi Party.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yes, they don't a little bit more.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
So we'll kill you with drowning or you just you
just have a bad cold, Okay, bad cold for the
rest of your life. Bad cold. Back called bad cold.
It's on the rounding name.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
No, they don't.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
They don't hate foreigners. They said it, they said it,
so of course they mean it. So just like they
said the vaccines, it don't work.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, I don't even know it's true, right, I don't
know if we even want to name her.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
But maybe not.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
But this candidate was This candidate was talking about how
there was an epidemic of foreigners kicking deer and not
a park. And I don't know if you guys, for
those of you who've been to Japan, you've probably been
to Nada. I think most people put it on their itinerary.
It's hard killed though.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Story, because I've got to be there. I've got to
be there by four to kick some deer.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
So you got so, you got so, you got the Yeah,
the deer ain't gonna kick themselves.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Someone's got to kick them.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Why not deer if they can't be kicked.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
But so, if you haven't been or you haven't heard
of it, in not out, there's a park where the
deer run free. They're protected because it's some some religious
religious rule that the deer are holy right.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
But they're not. Just they eat your potato.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Chips, they do, and they'll come right up to you
and you buy this bag, they'll take your bag. You
buy this what do they call it? The shika sembe?
You buy these little cookies from a vending machine, a
little and.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
You feed it to them.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
They're gone in two seconds.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
They're gone in two seconds, and then they want more
and if they can smell it on you, they're coming
at you even so, don't mess with the deer. Okay,
to all these foreigners who are trying to punch deer,
it's not as easy or kick deer. It's not as
easy as you think. They're coming at you.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I'm surprised somebody would even bring that up, Like, don't
give a drunk foreigners ideas.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
You know we weren't good at doing it. It's like,
don't lick the frogs. Don't lick the frogs, Mike, don't.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Want to look the frogs.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Seventeenth time you told me, Yeah, why shouldn't. They don't
eat the apple.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But you know on my notice for the meeting for
the deer kicking meeting that it's going later today, it's
a byo d bring your.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Own deer.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Body. They're smaller deer.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
If you've ever seen pictures of them, they're they're smaller
than North American deer. They're they're like what maybe three
three feet tall?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Dog?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
They are like dogs. They're little micro deer.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
I'm making a T shirt.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You tell me if this is gonna be popular in Japan, Mike,
you're gonna sell them in not a the buck.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Stops here, could sell. It could sell all right.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
In my job in the us of writing headlines, I've
gotten the habit of just writing headlines. You know, jokes
from headlines. So here's one from a few weeks back
in Tennessee. Do you hear about this?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
At TNT and.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
C four plant is explosive factory explodes. What investigators are
stumped at the cause.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
No clues so far.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
They think somehow some of the investigators think explosives may
have been smuggled into the into the plant where they
make them okay and real landing to his local water
plant has been flooded that investigators suspect water may be
the cause of flooding. It's always water, even if it's
crap and p it's waste wise.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
That's why you don't go walking in the flood water.
I've seen these videos of the people. There's these people
who go down sewer tunnels.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, on like they get a floating it's gross.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
They get one of those floating rings and the go
down is like it's like a flume ride. And then
they get they get like botulism, they get like you
can get plague.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, it's the air is in the air.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
So to all you young guys out there who are
planning to make your little YouTube short.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Or your TikTok, just avoid the sewers. Not a good place.
Sorry you were you were saying, interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I got addicted to a marketplace. It's on Facebook. Oh
it's a local area flea market kind of thing. And
you know, look to your left, there's a nice keyboard there.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh you get that on marketplace.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I don't need these, but I just I see a
good deal, like four thousands.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
This is not a paid promotional bit, but if Facebook,
if you do want to pay us, you'd be the first.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well, it's free, it's free to post.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
It's just a yeah, it's a matching.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
It's a group on Facebook, like our our comedy things
a group. So I see these nice deals like four thousand,
and I saw one that was right down here where
GC used to be, right, so I could go there
on my bicycle, And she wanted six thousand free keyboard.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I said, would you take four?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
And she said I'll take five, And I said, can
I pick it up at Yabucho station right, which is
our office is not near there, but at the time
it was convenient to me. Yes, And she said, well,
could you pay one thousand yen for transportation?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And you know the distance distance is what three hundred feet?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I know that's some pretty steep fees there.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
So I said, so that we're back to six thousand.
So what if I pick up on my bicycle? Okay,
we could do that, but I'm waiting for you. So
could I charge five hundred? And I said, you know what,
I'm not just leave my wallet at your doorstep and
you take.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
That's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
She's from a she's from a tropical country.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
She's Japan adjacent.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
She's not from Japan, she's from a She's from a country,
a very needy country that's that has a lot of
people come here and they like to tag along.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
So it's like I knew it was a problem.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I knew she was a scorpion by her name.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Yeah, that's why I that's the reason why everyone's there's
a used goods like resale boom now in Japan because
there's a marketplace. But there's also what is a medu cutty.
There's the medu cutty, and then there's yeah, there's always
been uh yeahoo auctions. Yeah, there's a lot of them
because because the economy is basically not doing so well,
so a lot of people are looking to use goods
and uh, but it's this thing of you've got to
(06:22):
meet the person and have a conversation, and you know,
I just want to you know.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
That's the nice thing about buying things online. You just
buy it. It comes to your door. You don't have
to hag all.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
You don't have to Yeah, you know, I guess I
when I'm shopping sometimes I'm like that. But it is
a bit of a pain. But in North America, they're like,
I'll meet you in the parking lot kind of thing.
Isn't that how it works? Which is not at all
you know, uh, suspicious.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Well, the thing with garage of sales in any country
is basically you're the stuff you want to sell. Mike,
is crap the stuff I.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Paid real money for that, that's right. You didn't pay
real money, That's right. You got you don't deserve it.
You got this guitar looks it looks old. Yeah, I
told you in the ad it's two years old. Doesn't
look new, yeah, I told you the it's two years old.
I mean it's not even worth the full price. That's
why I'm asking fifty dollars for it? Do you think
I paid fifty dollars for this? Now, I wouldn't pay
(07:15):
fifty for this.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I had a friend, yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
I had a friend who used to work in the
Japanese antiques business, and he was sending a lot of
antique items abroad through shipping and everything, and he just
he gave it up because he was like, people would
just be pestering me with questions about these things I
was sending them. So, so what era is this from
and what it's like? He put everything in the description. First,
you have to write a good description. You know, this
was from the Edo era. It was used for this,
(07:38):
it was whatever. Let's say these are decorative chopsticks. And
then you get these people emailing him at all hours
of the day. Yeah, so about the chopsticks? How much
do they weigh in? You know, like or are they
lacquered or are they you know? And he had pictures
and everything on his website, so you can you can
waste a lot of time with these kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, and with that and the new successions, with cutting,
both of those helps, I could do a second and
third job.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, and you can actually make money, jeez, you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Know, traveling to and these places usually aren't closed, like
Toyota two hours away.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yeah, what you need to do now is you need
to find a job where you have to go to
the factory and open the classroom, collect the money and
this would CALLIA to the company.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's that's a pid deal.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
And then I have to clean before clean too.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, do I have to also stand.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Guard repair work on weekends? Minor repair work may be required.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, there's a quick missing I have. Of course I
have to do.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It's a good deal and I only pay two thousand
and Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That was called back by the way, two thousand, Mark Biley,
Mike Miller Talk Fund
It's talk funny. If I agree with Mark Bailey, we
would both be wrong.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
And now Mark, Mark Bailey, Mike Miller and talk funny.
Mike is just telling me about the female politician. She's
probably going to be the prime minister.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Has she been formally declared? No, I guess no.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
I don't think they've had elections yet, right, but they could.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
They can name her prime minister without having.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
The leading candidate, and then you have elections and this
we want to name the party.
Speaker 3 (00:30):
But with the other new party. You know what, I've
never favored the old people.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Yeah, now, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
There's the old party and there's the badass Nazi Party.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yes, they don't a little bit more.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
So we'll kill you with drowning or you just you
just have a bad cold, Okay, bad cold for the
rest of your life. Bad cold. Back called bad cold.
It's on the rounding name.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
No, they don't.
Speaker 4 (00:57):
They don't hate foreigners. They said it, they said it,
so of course they mean it. So just like they
said the vaccines, it don't work.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
Yeah, I don't even know it's true, right, I don't
know if we even want to name her.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
But maybe not.
Speaker 4 (01:08):
But this candidate was This candidate was talking about how
there was an epidemic of foreigners kicking deer and not
a park. And I don't know if you guys, for
those of you who've been to Japan, you've probably been
to Nada. I think most people put it on their itinerary.
It's hard killed though.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Story, because I've got to be there. I've got to
be there by four to kick some deer.
Speaker 4 (01:25):
So you got so, you got so, you got the Yeah,
the deer ain't gonna kick themselves.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Someone's got to kick them.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Why not deer if they can't be kicked.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
But so, if you haven't been or you haven't heard
of it, in not out, there's a park where the
deer run free. They're protected because it's some some religious
religious rule that the deer are holy right.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
But they're not. Just they eat your potato.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Chips, they do, and they'll come right up to you
and you buy this bag, they'll take your bag. You
buy this what do they call it? The shika sembe?
You buy these little cookies from a vending machine, a
little and.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
You feed it to them.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
They're gone in two seconds.
Speaker 4 (02:01):
They're gone in two seconds, and then they want more
and if they can smell it on you, they're coming
at you even so, don't mess with the deer. Okay,
to all these foreigners who are trying to punch deer,
it's not as easy or kick deer. It's not as
easy as you think. They're coming at you.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I'm surprised somebody would even bring that up, Like, don't
give a drunk foreigners ideas.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
You know we weren't good at doing it. It's like,
don't lick the frogs. Don't lick the frogs, Mike, don't.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Want to look the frogs.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Seventeenth time you told me, Yeah, why shouldn't. They don't
eat the apple.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
But you know on my notice for the meeting for
the deer kicking meeting that it's going later today, it's
a byo d bring your.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Own deer.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Body. They're smaller deer.
Speaker 4 (02:44):
If you've ever seen pictures of them, they're they're smaller
than North American deer. They're they're like what maybe three
three feet tall?
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Dog?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
They are like dogs. They're little micro deer.
Speaker 3 (02:52):
I'm making a T shirt.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
You tell me if this is gonna be popular in Japan, Mike,
you're gonna sell them in not a the buck.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Stops here, could sell. It could sell all right.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
In my job in the us of writing headlines, I've
gotten the habit of just writing headlines. You know, jokes
from headlines. So here's one from a few weeks back
in Tennessee. Do you hear about this?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
At TNT and.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
C four plant is explosive factory explodes. What investigators are
stumped at the cause.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
No clues so far.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
They think somehow some of the investigators think explosives may
have been smuggled into the into the plant where they
make them okay and real landing to his local water
plant has been flooded that investigators suspect water may be
the cause of flooding. It's always water, even if it's
crap and p it's waste wise.
Speaker 4 (03:48):
That's why you don't go walking in the flood water.
I've seen these videos of the people. There's these people
who go down sewer tunnels.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, on like they get a floating it's gross.
Speaker 4 (03:57):
They get one of those floating rings and the go
down is like it's like a flume ride. And then
they get they get like botulism, they get like you
can get plague.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
Yeah, it's the air is in the air.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
So to all you young guys out there who are
planning to make your little YouTube short.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Or your TikTok, just avoid the sewers. Not a good place.
Sorry you were you were saying, interesting.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
I got addicted to a marketplace. It's on Facebook. Oh
it's a local area flea market kind of thing. And
you know, look to your left, there's a nice keyboard there.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh you get that on marketplace.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
I don't need these, but I just I see a
good deal, like four thousands.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
This is not a paid promotional bit, but if Facebook,
if you do want to pay us, you'd be the first.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Well, it's free, it's free to post.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
It's just a yeah, it's a matching.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
It's a group on Facebook, like our our comedy things
a group. So I see these nice deals like four thousand,
and I saw one that was right down here where
GC used to be, right, so I could go there
on my bicycle, And she wanted six thousand free keyboard.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
I said, would you take four?
Speaker 2 (05:00):
And she said I'll take five, And I said, can
I pick it up at Yabucho station right, which is
our office is not near there, but at the time
it was convenient to me. Yes, And she said, well,
could you pay one thousand yen for transportation?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
And you know the distance distance is what three hundred feet?
Speaker 1 (05:20):
I know that's some pretty steep fees there.
Speaker 2 (05:23):
So I said, so that we're back to six thousand.
So what if I pick up on my bicycle? Okay,
we could do that, but I'm waiting for you. So
could I charge five hundred? And I said, you know what,
I'm not just leave my wallet at your doorstep and
you take.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
That's a great idea.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
She's from a she's from a tropical country.
Speaker 3 (05:43):
She's Japan adjacent.
Speaker 2 (05:44):
She's not from Japan, she's from a She's from a country,
a very needy country that's that has a lot of
people come here and they like to tag along.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
So it's like I knew it was a problem.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
I knew she was a scorpion by her name.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
Yeah, that's why I that's the reason why everyone's there's
a used goods like resale boom now in Japan because
there's a marketplace. But there's also what is a medu cutty.
There's the medu cutty, and then there's yeah, there's always
been uh yeahoo auctions. Yeah, there's a lot of them
because because the economy is basically not doing so well,
so a lot of people are looking to use goods
and uh, but it's this thing of you've got to
(06:22):
meet the person and have a conversation, and you know,
I just want to you know.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
That's the nice thing about buying things online. You just
buy it. It comes to your door. You don't have
to hag all.
Speaker 4 (06:33):
You don't have to Yeah, you know, I guess I
when I'm shopping sometimes I'm like that. But it is
a bit of a pain. But in North America, they're like,
I'll meet you in the parking lot kind of thing.
Isn't that how it works? Which is not at all
you know, uh, suspicious.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Well, the thing with garage of sales in any country
is basically you're the stuff you want to sell. Mike,
is crap the stuff I.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
Paid real money for that, that's right. You didn't pay
real money, That's right. You got you don't deserve it.
You got this guitar looks it looks old. Yeah, I
told you in the ad it's two years old. Doesn't
look new, yeah, I told you the it's two years old.
I mean it's not even worth the full price. That's
why I'm asking fifty dollars for it? Do you think
I paid fifty dollars for this? Now, I wouldn't pay
(07:15):
fifty for this.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I had a friend, yeah, I know.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
I had a friend who used to work in the
Japanese antiques business, and he was sending a lot of
antique items abroad through shipping and everything, and he just
he gave it up because he was like, people would
just be pestering me with questions about these things I
was sending them. So, so what era is this from
and what it's like? He put everything in the description. First,
you have to write a good description. You know, this
was from the Edo era. It was used for this,
(07:38):
it was whatever. Let's say these are decorative chopsticks. And
then you get these people emailing him at all hours
of the day. Yeah, so about the chopsticks? How much
do they weigh in? You know, like or are they
lacquered or are they you know? And he had pictures
and everything on his website, so you can you can
waste a lot of time with these kinds of things.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Yeah, and with that and the new successions, with cutting,
both of those helps, I could do a second and
third job.
Speaker 3 (08:02):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Yeah, and you can actually make money, jeez, you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Know, traveling to and these places usually aren't closed, like
Toyota two hours away.
Speaker 4 (08:09):
Yeah, what you need to do now is you need
to find a job where you have to go to
the factory and open the classroom, collect the money and
this would CALLIA to the company.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
That's that's a pid deal.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
And then I have to clean before clean too.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yeah, do I have to also stand.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Guard repair work on weekends? Minor repair work may be required.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
Yeah, there's a quick missing I have. Of course I
have to do.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It's a good deal and I only pay two thousand
and Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
That was called back by the way, two thousand, Mark Biley,
Mike Miller Talk Fund
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