Ep. 70: #DrFumiHancock talks about Don’t Stomp on People’s #Lifestory - #Trauma - TEAR the VEIL™ with DR. FUMI, PSYCHDNP

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
She brings wealth and health to heraudience by tackling hot topics around substance use,
disorder, mental health and wellness.Her mission, vision and goal are
to help you heal from your pasttrauma, inspire you to transform your body,
mind and soul so you can liveyour best life. Your Board certified
psychiatric mental Health, doctor of Nurse, practitioner, Trauma Care Maestro and media

(00:23):
Analyst, Your Life Ambassador, bestselling author, ted X talk speaker,
CEO of Pull of the Festa PsychiatricHealth in Arizona. Let's all welcome Doctor
princess Fulmi Hancock. Hello everyone,thank you so much for joining me.
For those of you who do notknow me yet, my name is doctor
Princess Fumi Hancock. I'm an Africanin a Juan princess as living in dias

(00:46):
for out in Arizona. Here.Those in Arizona know me as a board
certify Psychiatric mental Health, doctor ofNurse practice with practice out in Arizona,
California, New Jersey and some otherplaces. And of course people call me
the Princess of Saboba, the Princessand Saboba off of the social platforms um
All this called me your compassionate temacare maestro. So welcome, Welcome,

(01:10):
Welcome to my channel, Welcome tomy podcast. If you have not got
an a chance to take a lookat what I have the good reason I
have for you in store for youin my in my podcast, please google
chear the veil with doctor for me. Few emma, chear the veil with
doctor for me. I can beseen in most platforms, more podcasts,

(01:33):
platforms I had, radio, iTunesand a host of others, all right,
and of course on YouTube, Ican be seen as the Princess of
Saboba and also the International on theInternational Diaspora Network channel. So thank you,
thank you so much for joining me. So well. Um just recently

(01:53):
I did um um. I didan episode and that episode had to deal
with trauma. I was talking aboutpeople making sure that we're not under estimating
other people's trauma, that we're notstumping on other people's trauma. And so
during this I happened to give anexample, and the example of the one

(02:16):
that I gave was that of theAmerican Paperasium Megan and um uh the husband
all right, so well, wherewad wad wad Well? I did not
realize that I was going to geta lot of comments, a lot of
people writing me over there, alot of angry, angry, angry people.

(02:38):
They were just incredibly angry. Andwhy were they angry that Some people
when as far as telling me,oh, Megan does not have any trauma.
Um, this person doesn't the husband, Um, Harry doesn't have trauma.
I mean they we I mean allsorts of things. So number one,
thank you for the comments. Numbertwo, thank you for liking.

(02:59):
Number three, thank you for subscribing. Let me just put that out there
now. While I do understand right, even some even went as well as
questioning my degree, my degree,and I'm like, wait a minute.
All I did was fifteen minutes ofa show about trauma, and the only

(03:20):
thing that people could focus on,at least few of them could focus on,
was the fact that they just didn'tlike Harry. They just didn't like
Megan. They hated Megan because ofHarry. I mean, all sorts of
things, And the truth be told. When I saw all the plethora of
comments, it just proved my point. People are getting more angry, people

(03:42):
are getting more just more dissociated.People are not listening to one another,
people are not being compassionate anymore.There is no empathy. Empathy is reluding
a lot of people, and it'svery very sad. Can I just say
that again, it's very sad.Now, while as an African princess,
right, as an African princess whohappened to come from a royal family,

(04:05):
perhaps maybe I have another inclination,another insight to this that maybe some other
people would not ordinarily have. Iknow for a fact that when several years
ago, at least almost twenty fiveyears ago now, when I decided to
write my book, Oh my God, then I get a backlash and it
was some of the some of thethings that I wrote right now you know

(04:27):
in that book, my very firstbook, I think you know some of
them. Because of the things thatI wrote, even though they were my
truth, some people within the royalfamily did not appreciate it. Right So
for me, someone like me,I can understand that there were some steps
that I took back then that thatnow they now me who is almost sixty

(04:51):
will not do. Can I saidthat again? When I was younger,
I was in pain, I wasgoing through a lot. I wanted an
out, I wanted somebody to hearme and I knew that I came from
a culture that was silent, thatyou do not tell your story out there,
and that was my way of healing, even though it was not appreciated

(05:12):
by some, but it was stillmy own way of beginning my journy of
healing. And because somebody makes amisstep, it doesn't necessarily mean that we
have to write them off. Itdoesn't necessarily mean that we have to now
say, all of a sudden,everything that they said, we don't want
to hear. This is what happenswhen somebody eventually complete suicide, and then
now we start talking again, Ohmy god, somebody should have helped her,

(05:35):
Da da da da dad. Weneed to quit judging people. We
need to quit because frankly, you'renot living inside their home to even know
the truth. You don't know ifMegan is experiencing or has experience or did
experience trauma. I personally don't havean idea, right and so because of

(05:58):
that, I, like I said, only I have my own opinion of
things that I would not have doneif I was them. But putting that
aside as somebody wearing a hat andpsychiatry, I have to put that aside
and look beyond and see probably painthat maybe some of you all are not
sand But this, this episode isnot even about them. I just wanted

(06:24):
to do that and then segue intowhat I want to talk about, and
what I want to talk to youabout today is that we must stop stomping
on each other's life stories. CanI say that again? Stop stomping S
T O, M, P,I n G. Stop stomping on your
fellow human beings life stories. Younever lived with them, You don't know

(06:47):
who they are. You really don'tknow decides all the information misinformation right information,
disinformation that we get on the internetto even begin to hate anybody.
So I segued off of Megan andHarry now and just talking to you as

(07:08):
a human being and just asking youdo you have a life story? We
all have a life story. Ihave a life story. And frankly,
if somebody came up to me todayand tried to undermine my life story,
if somebody came up to me todayand try to undermine the fact that I
had been in abusive relationship, ifsomebody on the mind came to me today

(07:33):
and tell me, oh, whenyou princess an African princess was sleeping in
a deep freezer in America. Ifsomeone said to me, oh, that's
not true. If someone said tome, well, after all, you're
an African princess, you should notthat should not be. If someone came
to me and start to talk tome about how my story doesn't matter,

(07:54):
you better believe you're gonna get afight in your hands, because here's the
thing. My story is my story. Your story is your story, and
nobody on the face of this earthhas the audacity to even under estimate or
stomp on your story. This iswhy a lot of women who have been

(08:16):
abused before, a lot of womenwho's been wrecked, a lot of men
who's been wrecked, a lot ofwomen and men who's been through a lot
in their lives. This is whythey do not come out. They don't
come up because of people like peopleout there who are eager to stomp on
other people's life stories. And doyou want to know why people stomp on

(08:39):
that is because they themselves are notcomfortable talking about their own life story.
So when they do find someone whois beginning that journey, they're mad about
it. I said it. They'remad about it because that they've seen that
person doing something that they don't havethe nerve to do. Because you're not

(09:01):
ready to tell your story doesn't makemy story less than yours. It doesn't
mean that because I've chosen to beginto walk the path of healing and recovering,
which is different from everybody, doesn'tnecessarily mean it gives you or anybody

(09:22):
the right to stop on my story. So where are we going with this?
America? Where are we going withthis? Nigeria? Where are we
going with this? My people allover the world. I'm simply saying today,
if you have a life story,don't allow anybody, don't allow any

(09:46):
bullies to stop you from telling yourtruth, because it is in you telling
your truth that healing begins. Ican tell you as a matter of fact,
it's almost world thirty years now,been through hell in my life.
When I used to live in NewYork, stat n Island, precisely almost

(10:09):
completed a suicide with two boys inmy hands. I drove myself two Verisano
Bridge. If some of you arein New York, you know what I'm
talking about. I was on theverge of plunging my car into that Versona
Bridge against them when I saw flashesof my two boys who were then two
and four or three and a halsomething like that. And when I saw

(10:33):
their image about them crying in thehands of another woman, my goodness had
a pedal back. Do you knowthat there are some people who did not
have the opportunity to pedal back theway that I pedal back, Someone who
had a degree, someone who came. I came. Let me tell you
something. I came from a placewhere I did not lack any And that

(10:56):
is the hornest truth. I didnot lack any thing. My dad made
sure that we did not. Wemight not have had an incredible a lot
a lot, but we never lackedanything. And so the shame and the
guilt that how am I going togo back home to say that my marriage

(11:18):
had failed? How do I dothat? So I stayed away from the
royal family. I stayed away,stayed stayed away and told the path of
completing society. But look at metoday. If there was not an a
divine intervention, where would I betoday? Would I even have the opportunity

(11:41):
to now start helping other people?And that journey today as a psychiatric mental
health actor of nurse practice with myown clinics. I know what I'm talking
about over thirty years of experience insocial work and psychiatry. It is important
that we allow people to tell thetruth, to tell their stories which have

(12:05):
a way that they're feel it.Yeah. Right, It might not be
what you want to hear, itmight not be what you think, but
firs, frankly, in my ownfamily, you don't tell. You don't
be telling things. I let likethat out. So I cannot understand the
anger that some people feel towards thosethat couple, because it's like, Okay,
that's not something you're supposed to tell. But then I did it to

(12:26):
myself, and I brought and Ibought. You know, I've got a
big brount on my head over it. Some I've gotten over it. Some
have just stewing over it over twentyfive years. That's the stewing over it.
That did you really write that?But the truth is, it is
my story. It is what Iwent through. I is the operative water.

(12:52):
Now what you think I went through, now what you read about me,
but what I went And perhaps Ican look back and I say,
Okay, maybe there's some parts ofit. Maybe I should have even talked
about I should have just ignored it. But when you are in serious pain,
you'll only thinking about that. Havethe true at the time, people

(13:16):
think that it's about money. They'rethinking it's about oh, you wrote the
book so to make money. Butthat wasn't it for me. In fact,
my first book was a series ofjournals that I wrote in my journey.
It was a series of journals.Then it was after I had about
maybe twenty journals, and I said, wait a minute, somebody else can
benefit from this, and want toknow that people are benefiting. Twenty five

(13:39):
years later, people are still writingme and telling me, my goodness,
that chapter, this chapter, whatyou said about here? What, Oh
my goodness. So if you're watchingthis, quit telling me that I'm ranting,
because I'm not ranting. I'm justin discourse. It is not decided

(14:01):
that whatever anger that we are goingthrough right now in this country, in
this world, we need to quitit. We need to stop it and
quit stomping on each other, quickstomping on each other's stories, keep quick
stomping on each other's life stories,quite stomping on each other, keep getting
angry about things, And trust me, I'm not angry. I'm just acciate

(14:24):
about what I'm talking about right now, I'm very passionate. There's a difference.
So let me just throw that outthere before somebody else writes quep getting
angry, quit you know, ranting. We have to learn to respect each
other. We don't have to agreewith each other, but we can respect
each other's opinions. And we cansay that and say that in a manner

(14:48):
that shows that we got some sense. That not only shows that we got
some sense, but it shows thatwe were We were raised and raised well
m so that when you do notagree with somebody, or when you are
not sure about something, you don'thave to start your stuff by saying,
oh, you know, if youyou know, ash you all kind of

(15:13):
nonsense instead of that saying whoa,I never thought it this way. This
is my opinion, What are yourthoughts? This is how civilized people deal
with each other. We need tostart being civilized with our own stories.
Because you're not ready to tell yourstory doesn't mean that no other people are
not ready. And when they're ready, we need to empower them. We

(15:35):
need to support them even when wedo not agree with them. We can
safely lovingly pull them and say ah, that part maybe you should have said,
and then those people can listen andtruly listen, and they can get
something from it and gain from yourwisdom. We all need each other's wisdom,

(15:56):
and that's the truth. No mattera little we are, no matter
how big we are, we gotsome wisdom nuggets embedded inside of us.
And that's what people who are intrauma want from us, not ranting,
raving like your set. They wantus to be able to usher them in

(16:17):
on that journey because Franklin, havethe time. They don't even know.
You are people who are traumatized bytheir own trauma, traumatized by other people's
trauma, watching other people's trauma,watching other people being traumatized by other people's
trauma. I mean, you gotall the flow. But at the end
of the day, we are humanbeings. Human beings will separate us from

(16:38):
animals. Is how we treat eachother, even animals. When you look
at a tiger, a tiger protectits carbs, all carb. A liopard
rises up when he sees threat coming. If animals in the forest can learn
that, it is about time wehuman beings bring that back into our lives.

(17:03):
So I hope I've been able tobe a blessing here until next time,
the inspired being moultivated be of sentimentalvalue. Understand that you, my
friend, you are the hero inyour life story. Do not allow anybody
to rewrite your story. You arepowerful, You have magn animals like my
son always say, and I loveyou all fine now, thank you for

(17:26):
listening to Tear the Veil with DoctorFumy. We hope you have enjoyed being
a part of today's show and thatwe have helped you in shining. For
further information, you can visit usat doctor Fumy, Psyched and p dot
com and pob Psychiatry dot com.

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Ep. 70: #DrFumiHancock talks about Don’t Stomp on People’s #Lifestory - #Trauma

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