July 30, 2025 • 37 mins
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello everyone, Hi, how are you? Before we get into
the premium episode, this one was interesting. I was gonna
take the week off, but then I started recording, and
the whole time I was recording, I was like, I'm
either gonna shit my pants or throw up any minute now.
So if you can hear the tension in my voice,
(00:22):
just know that that's what was happening. And then immediately
upon stopping the recording, both of those things happened. And
I'm at work, which is really a great place to
feel like this. But I'll tell you what, feel the
hell of a lot. Feel a hell of a lot
better now, guys, I've gotten all this poison out of
(00:44):
my body. I don't know what I hate. I don't
want my problems. I think it's nerves. I think it's
a combination of nerves plus caffeine plus nicotine plus all
the things. So I hope you enjoy this episode. It's uh,
you know, I guess it's better than taking a week off.
Maybe not. Maybe you guys would just appreciate a week
off instead of this episode and get into the rough trade,
(01:06):
gay sex stuff a lot. It's so bear with me.
This is a this is a weird episode I play
most of I think I play through every one of
Taylor Swift's new songs and a spoiler alert not for me,
it's like a new weekend album. Cool. So with that
(01:30):
being said, let's just get into today's premium I got.
I can't fucking talk. I don't know why I do
a podcast. I'll tell you what. My funeral home stories
just fucked my brain up in a really profound way.
It's Caitlin's having car problems. I've got my funeral home
story stuff. I've got, you know, just life, work stuff,
so many, so many things just stacking on top of
(01:52):
each other. I feel like it's just hopefully this is
just a temporary situation, because I'm tremendously overwhelmed, tremendously overwhelmed
with all things. I went from being whelmed to overwhelmed
in about two three days, and now I'm just spiraling
out of control. I hope my beef Organs get here soon.
(02:13):
Maybe that'll fix my life. What if that's the band
aid I've been waiting for for this whole time. Probably not? Okay, Well, anyway,
fuck it. Here's the premium episode. Enjoy, have a blessed day.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Thank you for subscribing and you know, Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What the fuck is? Oh people, how we doing? Happy Friday?
This is all gas. No editing today, no editing whatsoever.
That's my plan. So for the next half hour or so,
you're going to hear just an unedited version of the podcast.
We'll see how this goes. I got a random I
(03:09):
got this random topic generator that I'm pretty jazzed about.
Give me some give me some things to talk about.
Point me in a direction, because I started recording this
a couple of times, and I did this whole. I
had a take on Bill Murray and James Cordon, and
I don't really think it's a hot take. I really
don't think it's all that interesting. I just I saw
(03:30):
that Bill Murray got canceled along with James Cordon this week,
and I haven't seen any real damning evidence against Bill Murray.
If you have sent it to me, because I mean,
I don't know what happened. I guess Seth Green said
he fucking threw him in a foam pit when he
was a child, and then apparently he did something to
slange maybe Kekey Palmer. If I swear to God, if
(03:53):
he touched a hair on Kekey Palmer's head. I'm gonna
find Bill Murray and assassinate him because Kekey Palmer is
a treasure. I really like her. I can't remember when
I first saw her on Maybe Scream Queens and I
was like, yeah, she rules. But I don't know. I
guess she's got a movie coming out with Bill Murray
and some shit happened, and I don't know if the
(04:15):
the shit coming out about Bill Murray is to promote
the Murvy. Hey, Joey Bradfish, come on, hey, ladies and
gentlemen radio Joey Bradfish, Hi, what.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Are we doing in here?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
This is called a solo premium podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Are you supposed to be working right now?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Dude?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I am Morgan. Just look at that. I can see
the log I can see everything now. I was just
talking about Bill Murray. Oh yeah, Bill, what's the damning evidence?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I have a take on this.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
What I really love about this whole situation is that
all these hipsters that were wearing the Bill Murray shirts
because it was cool are now just getting their dick
kicked in the dirt.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
He's an asshole. He's just an asshole on set, and
all of a sudden, people are just coming out?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Is he like an asshole? Like were assholes to each other?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Uh? Well, I mean there was more misogynistic type things.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
So yes, So the answer is yes, he was a
guy of the times.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, dude, it's not right, but there there's I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So what do you? What's your take then on James Gordon?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I love it. I hate James Cordon so much.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Well, I've seen so many people call out James Cordon
for being an asshole to the wait staff, Like there
was a he did a redd at Ama and people
were like, hey, remember when you and Harry Styles came
to this restaurant and you were an asshole to me?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
So this has been ongoing. Yeah, this isn't anything.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
New, very interesting, Joy, how's your morning show this morning?
Pretty good? I'm about to go do it? Wait did
you guys start yet?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
No, we're gonna talk about Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Dude. Taylor Swift dude. So did you hear the new song?
No you didn't listen to it? Yeah, it's fine, it's
like typical. It's better than her last ship. I still
don't like her.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Though, Yeah, but your clone has his fingerprints all over it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Who's my clone. Wait he produced that. Dang dude, dude,
fuck Taylor's swift, Jack Ansonov, fuck you, fuck you. All right, Joey,
have a great show, ladies, gentlemen, Joey Bradfish. Everyone, that's
I used to do a podcast with Joey Bradfish. And actually, uh,
I think we are going to do a podcast together
(06:23):
next week. That will be the free episode and the
premium who knows, I don't know, we'll see. I think
he's gonna come over, I hope. So we haven't done
a podcast together proper in a couple of years now,
so I'm excited to see how that goes. So again
on with the unedited episode of the premium episode. Is
(06:44):
that how this works? Okay? So this is this is
a random topic generator, this is this is going to help.
This is gonna be my digital producer for the show today,
which I'm I'm very very excited about. So there's several options.
There's topics for anyone, business, couples, family essays, all kinds
(07:06):
of stuff, essays like essay like cool Spanish guy, is
it Mexican guys. Let's see here we go. We're gonna
click generate random topic. When's the last time you worked
incredibly hard that This is a terrible question from the
random topic generator. So the last time I worked incredibly hard.
(07:27):
I spent the last three days working on a video
with like five cameras and a panel of people, and
it was an hour and it's just you know, doing
the editing, you know, all this tedious shit. And I
have to tell you, it's the worst worst video I've
ever ever done, ever worked on. It's very boring subject matters, boring, unrelatable,
(07:54):
and yeah, that's I worked pretty hard on that just
to get it done. It was more of those. It
wasn't like I really grinded my gears to make sure
it was it was quality. I just wanted to make
sure it was out the door, So I will say that. Also,
my Funeral Home Stories, I'm about fifteen pages and fifteen
pages into the new episode and it's not coming easy, guys.
(08:16):
I don't. I don't know if I enjoyed doing my
Funeral Home Stories anymore. I don't. I don't think I do.
What is the best pair of shoes you ever owned?
And why were they so good? Well, this is a
great question. I know a lot of you have subscribed
to the Premium podcast to hear my take on the
best shoes, especially the best shoes I have ever worn.
(08:41):
I would probably say, dude, I really like the New
Balance nine ninety one back in the day. That's the
Steve Jobs shoe. That's the shoe Steve Jobs had that
didn't cure his cancer. I read somewhere that he thought
his tennis shoes and a strict vegan diet would, you know,
stop his cancer from growing. But it turns out it didn't.
(09:03):
It did not. I'm trying to think what other pair
of shoes I really like. I don't know, man, I'm man,
I'm a Chuck Taylor dude. I'm a Converse All Star,
fellow Converse All Star boy. But yeah, and I don't
really have a whole lot of tennis shoes other than Chuck's.
I've got some Brooks that I really like. I don't know, man,
(09:24):
my feet and legs are fucked up. Speaking of fucked
up feet and legs, I'm getting into some I'm starting
to get I'm dipping my toe in this transhumanism shit
after I've talked a lot of trash about it for
the last several years. This anti aging stuff I'm kind
of I'm getting into it. I'm swimming in the pool
now because I ordered very excited about this. I ordered
(09:49):
beef organs, a load of beef organs. I spent probably
too much money on supplements this week, and I don't
know if they work. I don't know if there's a
money back guarantee. But the company is called Heart and Soil.
If you're interested. I like I said, I haven't tried
it yet. I think I get my order in a
couple of days. And they said you start to notice
results very quickly. And what it is is it's like
(10:12):
beef organs, like liver, spleen, brain. I don't know if
tongues in there. I don't know what organs specifically, I
don't skin. There's blood in some of them, I know
that for sure, but it's like it's the shiny internal organs.
And I think there's another one where it's like testicles,
(10:34):
beef bowl testicles just ground up, put into pills. I
guess you take like, you know, six pills a day
something like that, and you just feel like a million dollars.
It helps with inflammation, helps with all your body paint,
just a lot. It's just stupid shit. But I'm getting in,
I'm getting on board. I'm trying this. I'm gonna live forever, guys,
(10:56):
quote unquote, I will live forever again. Quote that at
my funeral when they find me dead in two weeks.
What was the biggest thing you ever won? Let's see,
one time I won a Rockos Modern Life T shirt
from Nickelodeon. Like, remember that there was this thing called
(11:16):
snick Saturday Night in Nickelodeon, and it was all that
are you Afraid of the Dark? Ali Mack I think
was on. There was that The Adventures of Ali Mac,
maybe Pete and Pete some other shows really cool. But
they had this one eight hundred number where you call
in and then they, you know, just like in radio,
you call in and win a prize. And I won
(11:36):
a prize and they sent me a Roco's Modern Life
T shirt and I had it for so long and
I loved it. Something else I've won. I won a
three foot tall Ninja Turtle stuffed animal because I dressed
up like Steve Verkle for a Halloween party one year
when I was four or five. I was a fucking
(11:58):
ringer for Steve Verkle. You know, what's funny is I
did Steve Rkele as a white kid? Like clearly. It's
funny because when you see the pictures, you're not like, hey,
that's Erkele, like that's alfalfa, that's some nerd whatever. But
you're not like it's Erkle because I think you know,
Steve Rkle was black and I am clearly not black.
(12:22):
What old trend is coming back these days? Ooh, it's
a good one. Uh, canceling people like Bill Murray who
seemingly have done nothing wrong. Dude, I don't want to
say that because I feel like Bill Murray may have
done something wrong. I guess he's he's an asshole. Joey
(12:43):
said he was an asshole. Let's just skip this one.
Are you a saver or a spender? Dude? I'm a spender.
I wish I was a saveror I wish the podcast
would just blow up so that I could be like
a real saver. You know that would be sick. It's happening,
though it's slowly surely happening. I need to find a
co host. Somebody pitched a really good idea of Brett
(13:05):
from Wyoming. I think it's Wyoming. Maybe Tennessee. I don't know.
He said, Hey, why don't you call listeners and have
them co host with you? Which is not a bad idea,
but yeah, I wish I were a Saveror what was
the biggest thing you ever won? I already did this one.
What was the most over hyped place you've traveled to? Ooh,
I really like this one. I can't think of I really,
(13:31):
I truly think Chicago is tremendously overrated. Just being from
Indiana and having been to Chicago so many times, I
think it's really a boring city. And to see all
these basic bitches, and I refer to male and female
as basic bitches. They get their pictures taken in front
of the bean, the big mirror bean, and they're like,
(13:53):
oh my god, I'm in Chicago. What a what a
treat for me? Chicago? Yeah, probably Chicago. I can't think
of anywhere else in the United States that. Everywhere I've
been out of the country, I've been pretty happy with. Yeah,
the la la Chicago just overwhelming and overhyped. Where are
(14:20):
you planning going on to your next vacation. I don't
ever plan on going on vacation. I'm going to die
at my desk. Who was the first band or musician
you were really into? Do you still like them? Good question?
Good question, computer producer. First band I was really into.
I remember being really, really, weirdly obsessed with the Crash
(14:43):
Test Dummies back in the day that album God shuffled
his feet with that song. They were really cool. They
were a good band. I still really like them. I
think the first band that I was obsessed with as
an adult is I'm Frieze McGee. If you guys haven't
checked out on friezemcgie. It's like a jam band, but
(15:05):
they're really progressive and I like them so much. I
bought their drummers drum kit. I met him in Chicago,
one of the most overrated cities in America, And uh, yeah,
that's that's pretty much it, guys. It's not a good episode, guys.
I mean, this is better than nothing. I think, what
if I just did AMR? What did you do on
(15:30):
your last vacation? I went to Pennsylvania And while I
was in Pennsylvania, I went to Philadelphia. I saw the
Liberty Bill. I ate something scrabble. Scrabble is pretty good.
Scrabble is very good. If you guys haven't had scrapple.
It's like all the leftover parts of the cow made
into a h I got a loaf, deep fry it
(15:53):
deep fright fright on eggs, saying, which that sort of
thing scrabble, It's not scrapple, scrap pull pp l. It's delicious.
You guys should try it. It looks very unappetizing, but
it's it's really terrific. Let's do let's do some uh,
let's do some business topics here. If you had to
(16:14):
change your name, what would your new name be? Uh? Well, okay,
let's let's take the if we could, let's let's do
it this way. What wouldn't we want to be named?
Jeffrey Epstein Jeff Hi, I'm Jeffrey Epstein Jr. That'd be
(16:37):
pretty good. That would be a bad one. James Gordon Hi,
I'm James Gordon Jr. I'm here to yell at you
about your restaurant. I don't know. I'd probably change my
name to something cool like Trip. Hey, what's up? It's trip, Yeah, trip,
Trip said, that's what I would say. What would be
(16:57):
your perfect weekend? About two thousand milligrams of THHC edibles
Friday afternoon at three maybe one o'clock. Take two Thailand
all PM at seven pm maybe six pm on that Friday,
(17:20):
and then sleep. Proceed to sleep from Friday afternoon until
Sunday about three o'clock. Wake up, have dinner, Take another
two Thailand all pm, go back to bed. Perfect weekend.
Next topic, please thank you? What three words best describe
(17:44):
you limited capacity person? Where is the most awe inspiring
place you've been the Mesa Performing Arts Center and Mesa Arason.
I don't know, well, most really most all inspiring. I
(18:05):
you know, I do have to say, just because it
was recent, I think I always think going to Washington, DC,
or I thought going to Philly that that play. It's
pretty inspiring. You know. It's the it's the birthplace of
our nation, guys, and regardless of how you feel about
our nation, it's still neat to see like history, and
(18:29):
it's also it's just neat to go and see like
the liberty bell and brought the liberty. Fuck dude, I
don't know. Fuck James Gordon, dude, I'm so glad the
tide is turning on that piece of shit. Was there
ever an event in your life that defied explanation of course, dude.
I don't know if I've told this story before on
(18:49):
the podcast, but there was one time I was working
at jazz festival in Elkhart, Indiana, and I was setting
up drums and just leaving them at the venue, and
I had some time in between, and there were these
food trucks that were popping up, and there's barbecue place,
and barbecue place was it was fucking amazing, I think
it was. I think it was called Bill's Barbecue, and
(19:12):
tough tough dudes running it, like badass dudes, real real tough.
And there was this old lady and I just saw
these like four or five guys yelling at this little
old lady, this bag lady on the street. And she
had a reputation thats how. Her name was Sophie. And
she came up to me as these four or five
(19:33):
dudes were screaming and yelling at her, and she was like, well,
you help me, and I was like sure. And I
was seventeen eighteen at the time, so I just blindly
jump into a confrontation with these four or five dudes
and I'm saying, you know, why are you picking on
this old lady? What the fuck. Leave her alone, Live
her alone. That's what I said to them, said take
(19:55):
it somewhere else, fellas, And they proceeded to just tell
me how far fucking dumb I was, yell at me
and yell at her and threatened to I don't know,
I think threatened to call the cops or like threatened
to like throw this old lady down the stairs. I
can't remember what it was, but something intimidating. And then, uh,
you know, so I took her side, and I basically
(20:16):
stuck my neck out, and come to find out, she
was actually stealing from these guys. So when I came
into the story, I only heard like half the story
that she was being accosted by these four or five guys,
and not that she was stealing from these four or
five guys and then being accosted for stealing. So I
(20:37):
just blindly jumped into this situation and almost got my
ass handed to me by some big, gnarley dudes. And
I did it because I thought I was being chivalrous
or something. But this old lady turned out to be
a fucking creep, which I mean, it's a good lesson
(20:57):
to learn old people, as sweet as they may be
are fucking creeps. Next topic, if you had to change
your name? Okay, we already got this one. What do
you fear is hiding in the dark? I mean, I'm
clearly not ghosts. I don't think ghosts are scary, obviously.
(21:18):
What's a ghost gonna do to you? Rustles from some sheets?
Sh What does your own personal hell look like? How
about your own personal heaven? Let's get let's stay away
from heaven. I don't know. Heaven looks like it's kinda honestly,
(21:38):
I think heaven's gonna look like me taking fucking beef
organ supplements and feeling like a million bucks in about
a week or two. I think that's what heaven is,
is just feeling okay and enjoying life and being unaware
of hell and not thinking about dying every day. I
think that's what heaven would be now, person no hell.
(22:01):
I saw something on the Ryan Murphy Show last night
on American Horror Story. Here's a new season. It's called
American Horror Story NYC. Very very gay show. And I'll
bring this I'll come back to the gay stuff in
a second. But there's a scene where this guy's being
tortured and he gets needle stuck underneath his like hammered
(22:24):
under his fingernails. I think that would be pretty it's
a personal help. Being tied up, tied to a bed, immobile,
not being able to move, being in the dark, I
think that's pretty bad. Yeah, being held captive and not
being treated well. You know, because sometimes you see these
(22:45):
hostage movies and you're like, oh, this's the guy. It's
got it pretty good. The Patient, but with Steve Carrell. Yeah,
he's chained to the floor, but he's got a bed.
He gets the best takeout every night. If you guys
aren't watching The Patient on Hulu, it's fucking great. It's
a great show. But anyway, back to this Ryan Murphy thing.
This got me thinking the Ryan Murphy Show. As I said,
(23:06):
it's very gay, which you know, nothing nothing, nothing bad
about it. You know, if you're gay, great, love it.
If you're not gay, also love it, fantastic, But you know,
they're laying it on pretty thick on the show. It's
just like just hard gay stuff in New York City
(23:26):
in like nineteen eighty one, and they actually get into
I don't know if you guys know about this. It's
the trade industry the rough trade industry is what it's called.
I don't know if it's industry, but it's widely if
you look on the internet, because I had to look
this up because I was I'd heard of this before.
(23:47):
I heard about the hanky code in the past, the
bandana code, and it's in reference to this rough trade,
which is where basically guys just go to bathhouses and
alleyways and just fuck the toughest, scariest dudes and and
and while they're you know, like while they're scoping around
(24:09):
to see who they're gonna, you know, experience this rough
trade with they're they're looking on at their at their
body obviously, and there's this this color code of bandanas
that basically lets the guys know what you're into, right,
And so if you have a bandana on the left
(24:30):
side of your body, that means you're a dominant, you're
domb slash top. And if you have it on the
right side of the body, you're a bottom, we're submissive,
which I don't know any of these words mean, because
is clearly not a gay man. But the colors are
what's important here. Now, you can't you gotta be careful
(24:50):
while picking a bandana because if you pick the wrong pandana,
holy shit, I forbid you pick a yellow one. So
if you pick, if you put a yellow bandana in
your right pocket, that means not only are you interested
in water sports, which is getting pissed on, pissed on
(25:11):
by dudes, you're telling them because it's in your right pocket,
that you're the you're the submissive one. So you're not
doing the pissing, You're you're being pissed on. It's better
to be pissed off than pissed on. Unless you're wearing
a yellow bandana out of your right back pocket, then
it's exactly what you're looking for. But yeah, let me
(25:32):
break down these colored bandanas. So there's the black one,
which means you're into S and M. There is a
dark blue, which means you're into anal sex. So I guess,
so like I would mean, if you have in a
dark blue bandana in your right side, that means you're
(25:55):
the receiver, I think. But if you wear a light
brute light light blue bandana means you're interested in oral sex.
Now the problem is is there's there's kind of like
a fine line between light blue and dark blue. So
I mean you got to make sure you pick your
your colors right here, fellas, because you don't want to
where you don't want to be misconstrued as having a
(26:17):
dark blue bandana if you're trying to, you know, wear
a light blue one. So let's see. Brown bandana is
you're into some scats, play, poop play, Okay, it's interesting. Green,
you're hustler. Prostitution. I don't know what that means. That
means they have to pay. So does that mean if
(26:39):
you wear a green bandana, you're saying prostitution. But if
you have it on your right side, that means you
have to pay someone if they have sex with you.
So you're like into like findom financial domination. Gray, gray
bandanas means you're into bondage. Purple means you're into piercing.
(27:02):
I feel like purple there could be something better use
than piercing, because how many guys are like, oh my god,
you have a piercing so hot? Red fisting yeah cool? Uh,
Louie already went over. Yellow. Orange means anything goes, Yeah,
anything goes yeah. Nolden days and once new better words
(27:24):
now only used for a letter words writing pros. Yeah,
anything goes Okay, let's see here. Oh, there's a whole
there's a whole wide breadth of colors here. Dark green.
You're into daddy boy stuff.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
How do you The day you go bandana shopping, you're like, hmmm,
Like there's let's see, light pink means dildo's dark pink
means nipple torture.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
It's when you're buying a you're like, I hope this
shade is light enough or is it one of those
things where they don't have light pink but they do
have dark green. So I can't get the dildo stuff
I want, but I can't get my daddy my daddy fix.
There's rust colored bandanas, which means you're into cowboys stuff.
(28:19):
Why is this whole episode about rough trade gay sex guys?
Because sometimes you just gotta fill time. Sometimes you just
gotta fill the time. Khaki bandana means military sex. It's
this on this website. Quote naturally, Okay, gold means muscle boys.
(28:41):
Mosquito netting. Oh shit, so what if you Okay, so
there's mosquito netting, which means you're into outdoor sex, which
is fascinating. No, here's the question, what if you're just
out and about just cruise in the city and you
just happen to bring a mosquito net because you're you're
you know, you're afraid of the Western Aisle virus. And
(29:04):
then you're walking around and you got them sneedo neet
and you feel protected. I feel safe, And then all
of a sudden you're just surrounded by four dudes who
are like, hey, we see that mosquito net hanging out
of your back right pocket. Prepare for outdoor sex domination. Fuck, guys,
I don't know. I gotta get off this rough trade stuff.
(29:25):
I can't talk. It's a weird world, you know, it's
just going on. It's like cause, you know, you got
gang colors, which are interesting, and I guess even before
gang colors, it kind of the rough trade stuff kind
(29:46):
of predates that. So does that mean like bloods and crips?
Let's see that means the crips are into fisting and no, no, no, yeah,
the bloods are into fisting because they wear the red
and the crips they're into uh a little what the
anal back to the random topic generator. Which physical feature
(30:10):
in me do you like best? What computer I'm gonna
need you ask better? Questions here, We're gonna go to
the anyone category. What do you think of staycations? I
think fucking staycations are ridiculous. I think if you're in
need of a staycation, I mean it's cool, I guess
if you work really hard. But I feel like most
(30:31):
people I know that take staycations don't fucking deserve them.
You know. It's just a lot of people that I
work adjacent with who haven't been to work in three
years and are literally like, I need a vacation and
I'm gonna drive twenty five minutes to a hotel and
stay at a hotel for the weekend. Fuck that, dude.
(30:54):
I'd rather be at home. I'd rather not be at
a hotel down the street. If I'm going to be
in the town i'm in, I want to be at home.
I want to be around my things. I want to
be around my cats. I feel like people use staycation
or around me and my life as I don't know,
it's just some ghost thing. What's your favorite way to
(31:17):
waste time? Do the internet? YouTube?
Speaker 5 (31:19):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
I don't know if this is a good episode this week.
I don't think it is. I'm very ghassy. What do
I make for I made a queish last night. I'm
made a delicious queichhe. If you guys aren't Queish people,
and by queish I mean kishe, you should try it out.
It's really easy and they're really delicious. Just to let
you know, there's a part of me that doesn't even
want to put this out, even though I just recorded it,
(31:44):
which apps seemed like magic the first time you used it.
The ask akbar at where it's basically ask you twenty
questions and then it guesses what you're thinking about and
it's always right and it's weird because you can be
wildly specific. I think it's called acqua. It might still
be around. I don't know what sports do you like
to watch? Track and field? Man track and field all day?
(32:07):
I think that's my number one, number one sport. I
really truly enjoy snooker, which is like a billiard's game.
And then I also highlight highlights the shit, guys, What
can we talk about? What? What can we get into
for a few minutes here? Because this is this is
obviously we're we're we've ruddered ruddered ground here with this
(32:30):
topic generator. It's a bad Why do people people create
these websites and then they do nothing to maintain them.
Let's see here, we're looking at Daily Mail mystery as
landscapers find car filled with bags of concrete buried in
backyard of fifteen million dollars Silicon Valley mansion. Cadaverdogs indicate
possible human remains in decades. Was so basically, they found
(32:53):
a car buried under a mansion, they think there's a
body in it. Cool. Let's see what James Corn has
to say. James, I've done nothing wrong on any level.
Angry James Cordon. Now you turns on apology for abusing
restaurant staff over his wife's omelet and says he is
being bullied. Fuck you, James Cordon. I literally hope. I
(33:16):
don't know, man. I I would be really really fitting
if he was out somewhere and fucking choked on somebody,
you know, somebody, just kidding. If he did choked on food,
like a sausage of some sort, that would make sense.
Fuck James Cordon. Let's go back to the rough trade
(33:37):
gay sex stuff. Speaking of James Cordon, Taylor Swift should
we should we listen to Taylor swifts new album, I
Mean I'm all for it, dude. Let's just let's just
get into it. T Swift, Taylor Swift, Okay, we're pulling
(33:58):
it up. The album is called Nights. I'm going to
give this is this is yeah, this is perfect for
the podcast. So I'm gonna give some critiques.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
Here.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Song one, Me, Me and Men Night. Okay. This song
is called Lavender Haze. It's the first song on the album.
And you don't really mad an answer. I mean it's fine,
(34:45):
it's fine. I mean this whole album is gonna sound like, yeah,
it's like some some low five pop music. Oh yeah,
(35:07):
this is the first three songs literally have the same vibe.
Here's a song with Lana del Rey past Summer Went Away.
That's just I see the great pass he wanted to Yeah, okay, cool.
(35:28):
Now we've we've hit song six. Now we're just repeating
the same format and the night. So like basically this
song and Lavender Haze pretty much the same sounds. Yeah,
this whole album is just gonna be fuck okay. Track
seven okay, cool cool? Another weekend song, track ten, Oh
(35:59):
my good okay cool. No Karma is good on the
weekend was a relaxing thought. I hope Taylor Swift gd me.
It's in the scushbit James Gordon does in the restaurant
(36:21):
sweet nothing. No, no, there's that that she saw me? Nothing.
What's gonna stummy? No? Yeah, I don't know, sorry, Taylor Swift.
Not for me. Maybe it's because I'm not a sixteen
year old girl. They just don't did that, literally did
(36:44):
nothing for me. That was my nose. I needed to
scratch my nose. Guys, I don't feel good. Truthfully, I'm
probably gonna go. I don't feel good. I've had diarrhea
for three days. And I hope it doesn't have anything
to do with Denny's because they're really Oh yeah, speaking
of food, perfect time talk about it. The Blue Apron
(37:06):
Fuck Blue Apron an ongoing story. Not the best service.
There were another two or three days late with their order,
and some of the food wasn't good, and it's just like,
come on, dude, So I canceled the service. So they're
going to take a big hit financially. They're going to
lose my sixty five dollars a week, which is entirely
(37:29):
too much money considering the service they provide. Okay, well,
it's time to go. It's time to go,
Hello everyone, Hi, how are you? Before we get into
the premium episode, this one was interesting. I was gonna
take the week off, but then I started recording, and
the whole time I was recording, I was like, I'm
either gonna shit my pants or throw up any minute now.
So if you can hear the tension in my voice,
(00:22):
just know that that's what was happening. And then immediately
upon stopping the recording, both of those things happened. And
I'm at work, which is really a great place to
feel like this. But I'll tell you what, feel the
hell of a lot. Feel a hell of a lot
better now, guys, I've gotten all this poison out of
(00:44):
my body. I don't know what I hate. I don't
want my problems. I think it's nerves. I think it's
a combination of nerves plus caffeine plus nicotine plus all
the things. So I hope you enjoy this episode. It's uh,
you know, I guess it's better than taking a week off.
Maybe not. Maybe you guys would just appreciate a week
off instead of this episode and get into the rough trade,
(01:06):
gay sex stuff a lot. It's so bear with me.
This is a this is a weird episode I play
most of I think I play through every one of
Taylor Swift's new songs and a spoiler alert not for me,
it's like a new weekend album. Cool. So with that
(01:30):
being said, let's just get into today's premium I got.
I can't fucking talk. I don't know why I do
a podcast. I'll tell you what. My funeral home stories
just fucked my brain up in a really profound way.
It's Caitlin's having car problems. I've got my funeral home
story stuff. I've got, you know, just life, work stuff,
so many, so many things just stacking on top of
(01:52):
each other. I feel like it's just hopefully this is
just a temporary situation, because I'm tremendously overwhelmed, tremendously overwhelmed
with all things. I went from being whelmed to overwhelmed
in about two three days, and now I'm just spiraling
out of control. I hope my beef Organs get here soon.
(02:13):
Maybe that'll fix my life. What if that's the band
aid I've been waiting for for this whole time. Probably not? Okay, Well, anyway,
fuck it. Here's the premium episode. Enjoy, have a blessed day.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Thank you for subscribing and you know, Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What the fuck is? Oh people, how we doing? Happy Friday?
This is all gas. No editing today, no editing whatsoever.
That's my plan. So for the next half hour or so,
you're going to hear just an unedited version of the podcast.
We'll see how this goes. I got a random I
(03:09):
got this random topic generator that I'm pretty jazzed about.
Give me some give me some things to talk about.
Point me in a direction, because I started recording this
a couple of times, and I did this whole. I
had a take on Bill Murray and James Cordon, and
I don't really think it's a hot take. I really
don't think it's all that interesting. I just I saw
(03:30):
that Bill Murray got canceled along with James Cordon this week,
and I haven't seen any real damning evidence against Bill Murray.
If you have sent it to me, because I mean,
I don't know what happened. I guess Seth Green said
he fucking threw him in a foam pit when he
was a child, and then apparently he did something to
slange maybe Kekey Palmer. If I swear to God, if
(03:53):
he touched a hair on Kekey Palmer's head. I'm gonna
find Bill Murray and assassinate him because Kekey Palmer is
a treasure. I really like her. I can't remember when
I first saw her on Maybe Scream Queens and I
was like, yeah, she rules. But I don't know. I
guess she's got a movie coming out with Bill Murray
and some shit happened, and I don't know if the
(04:15):
the shit coming out about Bill Murray is to promote
the Murvy. Hey, Joey Bradfish, come on, hey, ladies and
gentlemen radio Joey Bradfish, Hi, what.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Are we doing in here?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
This is called a solo premium podcast.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Are you supposed to be working right now?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
Dude?
Speaker 1 (04:30):
I am Morgan. Just look at that. I can see
the log I can see everything now. I was just
talking about Bill Murray. Oh yeah, Bill, what's the damning evidence?
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I have a take on this.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
What I really love about this whole situation is that
all these hipsters that were wearing the Bill Murray shirts
because it was cool are now just getting their dick
kicked in the dirt.
Speaker 3 (04:51):
He's an asshole. He's just an asshole on set, and
all of a sudden, people are just coming out?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Is he like an asshole? Like were assholes to each other?
Speaker 3 (05:01):
Uh? Well, I mean there was more misogynistic type things.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
So yes, So the answer is yes, he was a
guy of the times.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
Yeah, dude, it's not right, but there there's I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So what do you? What's your take then on James Gordon?
Speaker 5 (05:16):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
I love it. I hate James Cordon so much.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
Well, I've seen so many people call out James Cordon
for being an asshole to the wait staff, Like there
was a he did a redd at Ama and people
were like, hey, remember when you and Harry Styles came
to this restaurant and you were an asshole to me?
Speaker 3 (05:32):
So this has been ongoing. Yeah, this isn't anything.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
New, very interesting, Joy, how's your morning show this morning?
Pretty good? I'm about to go do it? Wait did
you guys start yet?
Speaker 5 (05:42):
No?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
No, we're gonna talk about Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Dude. Taylor Swift dude. So did you hear the new song?
No you didn't listen to it? Yeah, it's fine, it's
like typical. It's better than her last ship. I still
don't like her.
Speaker 3 (05:57):
Though, Yeah, but your clone has his fingerprints all over it.
Speaker 1 (06:00):
Who's my clone. Wait he produced that. Dang dude, dude,
fuck Taylor's swift, Jack Ansonov, fuck you, fuck you. All right, Joey,
have a great show, ladies, gentlemen, Joey Bradfish. Everyone, that's
I used to do a podcast with Joey Bradfish. And actually, uh,
I think we are going to do a podcast together
(06:23):
next week. That will be the free episode and the
premium who knows, I don't know, we'll see. I think
he's gonna come over, I hope. So we haven't done
a podcast together proper in a couple of years now,
so I'm excited to see how that goes. So again
on with the unedited episode of the premium episode. Is
(06:44):
that how this works? Okay? So this is this is
a random topic generator, this is this is going to help.
This is gonna be my digital producer for the show today,
which I'm I'm very very excited about. So there's several options.
There's topics for anyone, business, couples, family essays, all kinds
(07:06):
of stuff, essays like essay like cool Spanish guy, is
it Mexican guys. Let's see here we go. We're gonna
click generate random topic. When's the last time you worked
incredibly hard that This is a terrible question from the
random topic generator. So the last time I worked incredibly hard.
(07:27):
I spent the last three days working on a video
with like five cameras and a panel of people, and
it was an hour and it's just you know, doing
the editing, you know, all this tedious shit. And I
have to tell you, it's the worst worst video I've
ever ever done, ever worked on. It's very boring subject matters, boring, unrelatable,
(07:54):
and yeah, that's I worked pretty hard on that just
to get it done. It was more of those. It
wasn't like I really grinded my gears to make sure
it was it was quality. I just wanted to make
sure it was out the door, So I will say that. Also,
my Funeral Home Stories, I'm about fifteen pages and fifteen
pages into the new episode and it's not coming easy, guys.
(08:16):
I don't. I don't know if I enjoyed doing my
Funeral Home Stories anymore. I don't. I don't think I do.
What is the best pair of shoes you ever owned?
And why were they so good? Well, this is a
great question. I know a lot of you have subscribed
to the Premium podcast to hear my take on the
best shoes, especially the best shoes I have ever worn.
(08:41):
I would probably say, dude, I really like the New
Balance nine ninety one back in the day. That's the
Steve Jobs shoe. That's the shoe Steve Jobs had that
didn't cure his cancer. I read somewhere that he thought
his tennis shoes and a strict vegan diet would, you know,
stop his cancer from growing. But it turns out it didn't.
(09:03):
It did not. I'm trying to think what other pair
of shoes I really like. I don't know, man, I'm man,
I'm a Chuck Taylor dude. I'm a Converse All Star,
fellow Converse All Star boy. But yeah, and I don't
really have a whole lot of tennis shoes other than Chuck's.
I've got some Brooks that I really like. I don't know, man,
(09:24):
my feet and legs are fucked up. Speaking of fucked
up feet and legs, I'm getting into some I'm starting
to get I'm dipping my toe in this transhumanism shit
after I've talked a lot of trash about it for
the last several years. This anti aging stuff I'm kind
of I'm getting into it. I'm swimming in the pool
now because I ordered very excited about this. I ordered
(09:49):
beef organs, a load of beef organs. I spent probably
too much money on supplements this week, and I don't
know if they work. I don't know if there's a
money back guarantee. But the company is called Heart and Soil.
If you're interested. I like I said, I haven't tried
it yet. I think I get my order in a
couple of days. And they said you start to notice
results very quickly. And what it is is it's like
(10:12):
beef organs, like liver, spleen, brain. I don't know if
tongues in there. I don't know what organs specifically, I
don't skin. There's blood in some of them, I know
that for sure, but it's like it's the shiny internal organs.
And I think there's another one where it's like testicles,
(10:34):
beef bowl testicles just ground up, put into pills. I
guess you take like, you know, six pills a day
something like that, and you just feel like a million dollars.
It helps with inflammation, helps with all your body paint,
just a lot. It's just stupid shit. But I'm getting in,
I'm getting on board. I'm trying this. I'm gonna live forever, guys,
(10:56):
quote unquote, I will live forever again. Quote that at
my funeral when they find me dead in two weeks.
What was the biggest thing you ever won? Let's see,
one time I won a Rockos Modern Life T shirt
from Nickelodeon. Like, remember that there was this thing called
(11:16):
snick Saturday Night in Nickelodeon, and it was all that
are you Afraid of the Dark? Ali Mack I think
was on. There was that The Adventures of Ali Mac,
maybe Pete and Pete some other shows really cool. But
they had this one eight hundred number where you call
in and then they, you know, just like in radio,
you call in and win a prize. And I won
(11:36):
a prize and they sent me a Roco's Modern Life
T shirt and I had it for so long and
I loved it. Something else I've won. I won a
three foot tall Ninja Turtle stuffed animal because I dressed
up like Steve Verkle for a Halloween party one year
when I was four or five. I was a fucking
(11:58):
ringer for Steve Verkle. You know, what's funny is I
did Steve Rkele as a white kid? Like clearly. It's
funny because when you see the pictures, you're not like, hey,
that's Erkele, like that's alfalfa, that's some nerd whatever. But
you're not like it's Erkle because I think you know,
Steve Rkle was black and I am clearly not black.
(12:22):
What old trend is coming back these days? Ooh, it's
a good one. Uh, canceling people like Bill Murray who
seemingly have done nothing wrong. Dude, I don't want to
say that because I feel like Bill Murray may have
done something wrong. I guess he's he's an asshole. Joey
(12:43):
said he was an asshole. Let's just skip this one.
Are you a saver or a spender? Dude? I'm a spender.
I wish I was a saveror I wish the podcast
would just blow up so that I could be like
a real saver. You know that would be sick. It's happening,
though it's slowly surely happening. I need to find a
co host. Somebody pitched a really good idea of Brett
(13:05):
from Wyoming. I think it's Wyoming. Maybe Tennessee. I don't know.
He said, Hey, why don't you call listeners and have
them co host with you? Which is not a bad idea,
but yeah, I wish I were a Saveror what was
the biggest thing you ever won? I already did this one.
What was the most over hyped place you've traveled to? Ooh,
I really like this one. I can't think of I really,
(13:31):
I truly think Chicago is tremendously overrated. Just being from
Indiana and having been to Chicago so many times, I
think it's really a boring city. And to see all
these basic bitches, and I refer to male and female
as basic bitches. They get their pictures taken in front
of the bean, the big mirror bean, and they're like,
(13:53):
oh my god, I'm in Chicago. What a what a
treat for me? Chicago? Yeah, probably Chicago. I can't think
of anywhere else in the United States that. Everywhere I've
been out of the country, I've been pretty happy with. Yeah,
the la la Chicago just overwhelming and overhyped. Where are
(14:20):
you planning going on to your next vacation. I don't
ever plan on going on vacation. I'm going to die
at my desk. Who was the first band or musician
you were really into? Do you still like them? Good question?
Good question, computer producer. First band I was really into.
I remember being really, really, weirdly obsessed with the Crash
(14:43):
Test Dummies back in the day that album God shuffled
his feet with that song. They were really cool. They
were a good band. I still really like them. I
think the first band that I was obsessed with as
an adult is I'm Frieze McGee. If you guys haven't
checked out on friezemcgie. It's like a jam band, but
(15:05):
they're really progressive and I like them so much. I
bought their drummers drum kit. I met him in Chicago,
one of the most overrated cities in America, And uh, yeah,
that's that's pretty much it, guys. It's not a good episode, guys.
I mean, this is better than nothing. I think, what
if I just did AMR? What did you do on
(15:30):
your last vacation? I went to Pennsylvania And while I
was in Pennsylvania, I went to Philadelphia. I saw the
Liberty Bill. I ate something scrabble. Scrabble is pretty good.
Scrabble is very good. If you guys haven't had scrapple.
It's like all the leftover parts of the cow made
into a h I got a loaf, deep fry it
(15:53):
deep fright fright on eggs, saying, which that sort of
thing scrabble, It's not scrapple, scrap pull pp l. It's delicious.
You guys should try it. It looks very unappetizing, but
it's it's really terrific. Let's do let's do some uh,
let's do some business topics here. If you had to
(16:14):
change your name, what would your new name be? Uh? Well, okay,
let's let's take the if we could, let's let's do
it this way. What wouldn't we want to be named?
Jeffrey Epstein Jeff Hi, I'm Jeffrey Epstein Jr. That'd be
(16:37):
pretty good. That would be a bad one. James Gordon Hi,
I'm James Gordon Jr. I'm here to yell at you
about your restaurant. I don't know. I'd probably change my
name to something cool like Trip. Hey, what's up? It's trip, Yeah, trip,
Trip said, that's what I would say. What would be
(16:57):
your perfect weekend? About two thousand milligrams of THHC edibles
Friday afternoon at three maybe one o'clock. Take two Thailand
all PM at seven pm maybe six pm on that Friday,
(17:20):
and then sleep. Proceed to sleep from Friday afternoon until
Sunday about three o'clock. Wake up, have dinner, Take another
two Thailand all pm, go back to bed. Perfect weekend.
Next topic, please thank you? What three words best describe
(17:44):
you limited capacity person? Where is the most awe inspiring
place you've been the Mesa Performing Arts Center and Mesa Arason.
I don't know, well, most really most all inspiring. I
(18:05):
you know, I do have to say, just because it
was recent, I think I always think going to Washington, DC,
or I thought going to Philly that that play. It's
pretty inspiring. You know. It's the it's the birthplace of
our nation, guys, and regardless of how you feel about
our nation, it's still neat to see like history, and
(18:29):
it's also it's just neat to go and see like
the liberty bell and brought the liberty. Fuck dude, I
don't know. Fuck James Gordon, dude, I'm so glad the
tide is turning on that piece of shit. Was there
ever an event in your life that defied explanation of course, dude.
I don't know if I've told this story before on
(18:49):
the podcast, but there was one time I was working
at jazz festival in Elkhart, Indiana, and I was setting
up drums and just leaving them at the venue, and
I had some time in between, and there were these
food trucks that were popping up, and there's barbecue place,
and barbecue place was it was fucking amazing, I think
it was. I think it was called Bill's Barbecue, and
(19:12):
tough tough dudes running it, like badass dudes, real real tough.
And there was this old lady and I just saw
these like four or five guys yelling at this little
old lady, this bag lady on the street. And she
had a reputation thats how. Her name was Sophie. And
she came up to me as these four or five
(19:33):
dudes were screaming and yelling at her, and she was like, well,
you help me, and I was like sure. And I
was seventeen eighteen at the time, so I just blindly
jump into a confrontation with these four or five dudes
and I'm saying, you know, why are you picking on
this old lady? What the fuck. Leave her alone, Live
her alone. That's what I said to them, said take
(19:55):
it somewhere else, fellas, And they proceeded to just tell
me how far fucking dumb I was, yell at me
and yell at her and threatened to I don't know,
I think threatened to call the cops or like threatened
to like throw this old lady down the stairs. I
can't remember what it was, but something intimidating. And then, uh,
you know, so I took her side, and I basically
(20:16):
stuck my neck out, and come to find out, she
was actually stealing from these guys. So when I came
into the story, I only heard like half the story
that she was being accosted by these four or five guys,
and not that she was stealing from these four or
five guys and then being accosted for stealing. So I
(20:37):
just blindly jumped into this situation and almost got my
ass handed to me by some big, gnarley dudes. And
I did it because I thought I was being chivalrous
or something. But this old lady turned out to be
a fucking creep, which I mean, it's a good lesson
(20:57):
to learn old people, as sweet as they may be
are fucking creeps. Next topic, if you had to change
your name? Okay, we already got this one. What do
you fear is hiding in the dark? I mean, I'm
clearly not ghosts. I don't think ghosts are scary, obviously.
(21:18):
What's a ghost gonna do to you? Rustles from some sheets?
Sh What does your own personal hell look like? How
about your own personal heaven? Let's get let's stay away
from heaven. I don't know. Heaven looks like it's kinda honestly,
(21:38):
I think heaven's gonna look like me taking fucking beef
organ supplements and feeling like a million bucks in about
a week or two. I think that's what heaven is,
is just feeling okay and enjoying life and being unaware
of hell and not thinking about dying every day. I
think that's what heaven would be now, person no hell.
(22:01):
I saw something on the Ryan Murphy Show last night
on American Horror Story. Here's a new season. It's called
American Horror Story NYC. Very very gay show. And I'll
bring this I'll come back to the gay stuff in
a second. But there's a scene where this guy's being
tortured and he gets needle stuck underneath his like hammered
(22:24):
under his fingernails. I think that would be pretty it's
a personal help. Being tied up, tied to a bed, immobile,
not being able to move, being in the dark, I
think that's pretty bad. Yeah, being held captive and not
being treated well. You know, because sometimes you see these
(22:45):
hostage movies and you're like, oh, this's the guy. It's
got it pretty good. The Patient, but with Steve Carrell. Yeah,
he's chained to the floor, but he's got a bed.
He gets the best takeout every night. If you guys
aren't watching The Patient on Hulu, it's fucking great. It's
a great show. But anyway, back to this Ryan Murphy thing.
This got me thinking the Ryan Murphy Show. As I said,
(23:06):
it's very gay, which you know, nothing nothing, nothing bad
about it. You know, if you're gay, great, love it.
If you're not gay, also love it, fantastic, But you know,
they're laying it on pretty thick on the show. It's
just like just hard gay stuff in New York City
(23:26):
in like nineteen eighty one, and they actually get into
I don't know if you guys know about this. It's
the trade industry the rough trade industry is what it's called.
I don't know if it's industry, but it's widely if
you look on the internet, because I had to look
this up because I was I'd heard of this before.
(23:47):
I heard about the hanky code in the past, the
bandana code, and it's in reference to this rough trade,
which is where basically guys just go to bathhouses and
alleyways and just fuck the toughest, scariest dudes and and
and while they're you know, like while they're scoping around
(24:09):
to see who they're gonna, you know, experience this rough
trade with they're they're looking on at their at their
body obviously, and there's this this color code of bandanas
that basically lets the guys know what you're into, right,
And so if you have a bandana on the left
(24:30):
side of your body, that means you're a dominant, you're
domb slash top. And if you have it on the
right side of the body, you're a bottom, we're submissive,
which I don't know any of these words mean, because
is clearly not a gay man. But the colors are
what's important here. Now, you can't you gotta be careful
(24:50):
while picking a bandana because if you pick the wrong pandana,
holy shit, I forbid you pick a yellow one. So
if you pick, if you put a yellow bandana in
your right pocket, that means not only are you interested
in water sports, which is getting pissed on, pissed on
(25:11):
by dudes, you're telling them because it's in your right pocket,
that you're the you're the submissive one. So you're not
doing the pissing, You're you're being pissed on. It's better
to be pissed off than pissed on. Unless you're wearing
a yellow bandana out of your right back pocket, then
it's exactly what you're looking for. But yeah, let me
(25:32):
break down these colored bandanas. So there's the black one,
which means you're into S and M. There is a
dark blue, which means you're into anal sex. So I guess,
so like I would mean, if you have in a
dark blue bandana in your right side, that means you're
(25:55):
the receiver, I think. But if you wear a light
brute light light blue bandana means you're interested in oral sex.
Now the problem is is there's there's kind of like
a fine line between light blue and dark blue. So
I mean you got to make sure you pick your
your colors right here, fellas, because you don't want to
where you don't want to be misconstrued as having a
(26:17):
dark blue bandana if you're trying to, you know, wear
a light blue one. So let's see. Brown bandana is
you're into some scats, play, poop play, Okay, it's interesting. Green,
you're hustler. Prostitution. I don't know what that means. That
means they have to pay. So does that mean if
(26:39):
you wear a green bandana, you're saying prostitution. But if
you have it on your right side, that means you
have to pay someone if they have sex with you.
So you're like into like findom financial domination. Gray, gray
bandanas means you're into bondage. Purple means you're into piercing.
(27:02):
I feel like purple there could be something better use
than piercing, because how many guys are like, oh my god,
you have a piercing so hot? Red fisting yeah cool? Uh,
Louie already went over. Yellow. Orange means anything goes, Yeah,
anything goes yeah. Nolden days and once new better words
(27:24):
now only used for a letter words writing pros. Yeah,
anything goes Okay, let's see here. Oh, there's a whole
there's a whole wide breadth of colors here. Dark green.
You're into daddy boy stuff.
Speaker 5 (27:46):
How do you The day you go bandana shopping, you're like, hmmm,
Like there's let's see, light pink means dildo's dark pink
means nipple torture.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
It's when you're buying a you're like, I hope this
shade is light enough or is it one of those
things where they don't have light pink but they do
have dark green. So I can't get the dildo stuff
I want, but I can't get my daddy my daddy fix.
There's rust colored bandanas, which means you're into cowboys stuff.
(28:19):
Why is this whole episode about rough trade gay sex guys?
Because sometimes you just gotta fill time. Sometimes you just
gotta fill the time. Khaki bandana means military sex. It's
this on this website. Quote naturally, Okay, gold means muscle boys.
(28:41):
Mosquito netting. Oh shit, so what if you Okay, so
there's mosquito netting, which means you're into outdoor sex, which
is fascinating. No, here's the question, what if you're just
out and about just cruise in the city and you
just happen to bring a mosquito net because you're you're
you know, you're afraid of the Western Aisle virus. And
(29:04):
then you're walking around and you got them sneedo neet
and you feel protected. I feel safe, And then all
of a sudden you're just surrounded by four dudes who
are like, hey, we see that mosquito net hanging out
of your back right pocket. Prepare for outdoor sex domination. Fuck, guys,
I don't know. I gotta get off this rough trade stuff.
(29:25):
I can't talk. It's a weird world, you know, it's
just going on. It's like cause, you know, you got
gang colors, which are interesting, and I guess even before
gang colors, it kind of the rough trade stuff kind
(29:46):
of predates that. So does that mean like bloods and crips?
Let's see that means the crips are into fisting and no, no, no, yeah,
the bloods are into fisting because they wear the red
and the crips they're into uh a little what the
anal back to the random topic generator. Which physical feature
(30:10):
in me do you like best? What computer I'm gonna
need you ask better? Questions here, We're gonna go to
the anyone category. What do you think of staycations? I
think fucking staycations are ridiculous. I think if you're in
need of a staycation, I mean it's cool, I guess
if you work really hard. But I feel like most
(30:31):
people I know that take staycations don't fucking deserve them.
You know. It's just a lot of people that I
work adjacent with who haven't been to work in three
years and are literally like, I need a vacation and
I'm gonna drive twenty five minutes to a hotel and
stay at a hotel for the weekend. Fuck that, dude.
(30:54):
I'd rather be at home. I'd rather not be at
a hotel down the street. If I'm going to be
in the town i'm in, I want to be at home.
I want to be around my things. I want to
be around my cats. I feel like people use staycation
or around me and my life as I don't know,
it's just some ghost thing. What's your favorite way to
(31:17):
waste time? Do the internet? YouTube?
Speaker 5 (31:19):
Brother?
Speaker 1 (31:21):
I don't know if this is a good episode this week.
I don't think it is. I'm very ghassy. What do
I make for I made a queish last night. I'm
made a delicious queichhe. If you guys aren't Queish people,
and by queish I mean kishe, you should try it out.
It's really easy and they're really delicious. Just to let
you know, there's a part of me that doesn't even
want to put this out, even though I just recorded it,
(31:44):
which apps seemed like magic the first time you used it.
The ask akbar at where it's basically ask you twenty
questions and then it guesses what you're thinking about and
it's always right and it's weird because you can be
wildly specific. I think it's called acqua. It might still
be around. I don't know what sports do you like
to watch? Track and field? Man track and field all day?
(32:07):
I think that's my number one, number one sport. I
really truly enjoy snooker, which is like a billiard's game.
And then I also highlight highlights the shit, guys, What
can we talk about? What? What can we get into
for a few minutes here? Because this is this is
obviously we're we're we've ruddered ruddered ground here with this
(32:30):
topic generator. It's a bad Why do people people create
these websites and then they do nothing to maintain them.
Let's see here, we're looking at Daily Mail mystery as
landscapers find car filled with bags of concrete buried in
backyard of fifteen million dollars Silicon Valley mansion. Cadaverdogs indicate
possible human remains in decades. Was so basically, they found
(32:53):
a car buried under a mansion, they think there's a
body in it. Cool. Let's see what James Corn has
to say. James, I've done nothing wrong on any level.
Angry James Cordon. Now you turns on apology for abusing
restaurant staff over his wife's omelet and says he is
being bullied. Fuck you, James Cordon. I literally hope. I
(33:16):
don't know, man. I I would be really really fitting
if he was out somewhere and fucking choked on somebody,
you know, somebody, just kidding. If he did choked on food,
like a sausage of some sort, that would make sense.
Fuck James Cordon. Let's go back to the rough trade
(33:37):
gay sex stuff. Speaking of James Cordon, Taylor Swift should
we should we listen to Taylor swifts new album, I
Mean I'm all for it, dude. Let's just let's just
get into it. T Swift, Taylor Swift, Okay, we're pulling
(33:58):
it up. The album is called Nights. I'm going to
give this is this is yeah, this is perfect for
the podcast. So I'm gonna give some critiques.
Speaker 5 (34:08):
Here.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Song one, Me, Me and Men Night. Okay. This song
is called Lavender Haze. It's the first song on the album.
And you don't really mad an answer. I mean it's fine,
(34:45):
it's fine. I mean this whole album is gonna sound like, yeah,
it's like some some low five pop music. Oh yeah,
(35:07):
this is the first three songs literally have the same vibe.
Here's a song with Lana del Rey past Summer Went Away.
That's just I see the great pass he wanted to Yeah, okay, cool.
(35:28):
Now we've we've hit song six. Now we're just repeating
the same format and the night. So like basically this
song and Lavender Haze pretty much the same sounds. Yeah,
this whole album is just gonna be fuck okay. Track
seven okay, cool cool? Another weekend song, track ten, Oh
(35:59):
my good okay cool. No Karma is good on the
weekend was a relaxing thought. I hope Taylor Swift gd me.
It's in the scushbit James Gordon does in the restaurant
(36:21):
sweet nothing. No, no, there's that that she saw me? Nothing.
What's gonna stummy? No? Yeah, I don't know, sorry, Taylor Swift.
Not for me. Maybe it's because I'm not a sixteen
year old girl. They just don't did that, literally did
(36:44):
nothing for me. That was my nose. I needed to
scratch my nose. Guys, I don't feel good. Truthfully, I'm
probably gonna go. I don't feel good. I've had diarrhea
for three days. And I hope it doesn't have anything
to do with Denny's because they're really Oh yeah, speaking
of food, perfect time talk about it. The Blue Apron
(37:06):
Fuck Blue Apron an ongoing story. Not the best service.
There were another two or three days late with their order,
and some of the food wasn't good, and it's just like,
come on, dude, So I canceled the service. So they're
going to take a big hit financially. They're going to
lose my sixty five dollars a week, which is entirely
(37:29):
too much money considering the service they provide. Okay, well,
it's time to go. It's time to go,
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