September 2, 2025 • 14 mins
In this episode of “That Will Never Work,” Maurice and Kafi Chism explore the complexities of authenticity in professional environments, discussing how to balance being true to oneself with the need to adapt to workplace expectations. They tackle imposter syndrome, code-switching, and the importance of sustainable success through genuine self-expression. This episode offers actionable advice for those struggling to navigate the tension between personal identity and professional demands.
In This Episode:
00:00 The Journey to Authenticity
01:08 Introducing Kafi: A Personal Perspective
03:22 Navigating Corporate Expectations
05:09 Defining Authenticity in a Professional World
08:14 The Evolution of Professional Norms
10:13 The Importance of Consistency
12:15 Customer Service and Authenticity
Key Takeaways:
In This Episode:
00:00 The Journey to Authenticity
01:08 Introducing Kafi: A Personal Perspective
03:22 Navigating Corporate Expectations
05:09 Defining Authenticity in a Professional World
08:14 The Evolution of Professional Norms
10:13 The Importance of Consistency
12:15 Customer Service and Authenticity
Key Takeaways:
- Recognize when you’re code-switching and manage its impact on your energy levels.
- Define what “authentic self” means in different contexts, adapting your presentation as needed.
- Balance conforming to professional norms with expressing your personality genuinely.
- Prioritize sustainable success by showing up as yourself consistently, avoiding burnout from constant performance.
- Understand that others’ discomfort with your authenticity may reflect their own challenges, not your shortcomings.
- Well Why Not Workbook: https://bit.ly/authormauricechism
- Podmatch: https://bit.ly/joinpodmatchwithmaurice
- Maurice Chism: https://bit.ly/CoachMaurice
- Website: https://bit.ly/mauricechism
- Patreon: https://bit.ly/CoachMauriceonPatreon
- To be a guest: https://bit.ly/beaguestonthatwillnevrworkpodcast
- Business Email: mchism@chismgroup.net
- Business Address: PO Box 460, Secane, PA 19018
- Spreaker: https://bit.ly/TWNWSpreaker
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
You can fake it for a while, will you can
only be you for the loan run.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Educate, empower, enable impact. Thank you for tuning in to
that Will Never Work, an award winning podcast where we
share inspiring information and personal experiences related to business and
the entrepreneurial journey from those who are leaders in their
respective field. Now here's your host, author and business coach Maurice.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Hey everyone, how are you today?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
We have a special episode for you today.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
But here's the idea. Here's the point.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Constantly adjusting to please others draine your energy and blurs
your direction. Being yourself is the only path you can
truly maintain. And so I'm saying that we have this
(01:13):
episode because and it's special because we have a special guest.
You've heard me speak about her over the last few episodes.
I am pleased to present to you my wife, copfro
Chisholm Kapa. Thank you very much for coming and sharing.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
With us today.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Thank you so much Maurice for having me. Glad to
be here.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
So, Kauf, here's the thing, you know, we.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Are for some of us, we're constantly adjusting to please
others and it could drain our energy and blur our direction,
and some of that, in my opinion, can be viewed
as impost syndrome or not being able to look ourselves
(02:05):
in the mirror. And a lot of times, to me,
we find ourselves wanting to be something for someone else,
i e. Our manager, our supervisor, you know, those that
are in charge, because we want to leave a great impression.
(02:26):
We want to be able to get that promotion, We
want to be able to get that raise or that
anything else that goes with that special accolades. So how
would you talk to someone.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Right that.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Feels that way, that that hey, how do I overcome
that imposter syndrome?
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I mean, I think we all, like you said, we
all go through this. We all have situations where we
code switch, where we have to put on as my
mother said, she would put on her penguin suit so
that you can walk the walk and talk the talk
in order to fit within whatever that ideal is for
(03:16):
that company, for that whatever it may be. So I
think it's just something that we all have to do.
But there is there does come a time where you
do get, you know, tired of it. As you said
in the beginning of the show, it only lasts for
a while and then you know, the real you eventually
(03:37):
will come out, so you have to kind of learn
how to manage that.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And so for me and my own experiences, I do
recall being told to be like someone else. I recall
being told that I needed to have the same work
effort as someone else to speak and talk and dress
(04:04):
like someone else, and that.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Drained me ultimately.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
It drained me because I didn't I didn't always know
how to respond to a certain situation like someone else
in that situation.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Whether I might have.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Been young, because I for some of this stuff that
I'm referring to are some of my early years in
corporate America. So I remember those moments where I was
asked to do or be something else that I wasn't
really up to part yet, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
So I think.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
There are people out there that are you know, those
of you that are listening, that have yet to transition
into your next phase of life because you're too busy
worrying about what everybody else has to say instead of
being your authentic self.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
And I think the other issue and we hear authentic
self and be your authentic self a lot, But what
does that really mean? And it may mean different things
for different people and in different situations. Like you said, hey,
if you are trying to be promoted, if you're trying
(05:18):
to you know, launch your own business, right, you know,
how do you have to present yourself as a leader,
as a business owner, as a an up and coming
whatever it may be. You have to present yourself a
(05:39):
certain way. And again you may have to fall in
line with traffic. You know, you may want to be
on the windy path and look at the trees and
all those things, but sometimes you have to be in
the highway with everybody else and you can't go slow.
You have to kind of flow with where things are.
(06:01):
So how do you be authentic in a world that
is not that way or nowadays? Like you said, when
you were coming up and in corporate America, there was
a very strong presence of what corporate America looked like.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yes, for males.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
And for females, you know, the the attire, the hair,
all of those things were quite different in those in
earlier times for you. So again for me, you know,
the the nineties, you know, early two thousands or whatever,
(06:40):
like what did what did that look like to say
I'm getting up and going to work? You know whatever
that work may have been whether you were entrepreneur, or
you were in corporate America or on Wall Street, wherever
that was. There was a certain look for that right,
and it was displayed in many ways, you know, in
your neighborhoods as well as in on television. You know,
(07:06):
you and I have talked about before, just different professions
and how they dressed and how they carried themselves. And
it lent itself to acting a certain way and demanding
respect without demanding the respect. Because of the way that
you or the way that those individuals were dressed, and
(07:29):
the way that they held themselves was that their true
authentic self. Is that the way they really wanted to
show up and present themselves. I don't know, because I'm
not them, but no one that I can recall came
off like all right, these panty holes are itching me
and I wish I could take them off. They all
(07:49):
seem to, you know, come with another mission, and that
wasn't a focus, unlike nowadays. You know, I've been in
spaces and people look uncomfortable in their clothing or they
are dressing very very comfortably, and you're like, not quite
sure what role they have because of that. So I
(08:13):
think it's a tough line. Again, I think there's a
time and a space for everything, and so there is
a time to be fake, there is a time to
code switch, and there's a time to be authentic.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
And just be your true self. I think you're true
in both spaces, but I think one may be more
comfortable if you will.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
So I think as I listening to some of the
things that you're stating, it's something that to me was.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Key where you talk about the time.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yes, you know, so if we look at those people
that were before us, you know, granted, like we're not
that old in all honesty, but if we look at
those that were before us, how they dressed and what
they wore every single day. As time has gone on,
(09:14):
we have become more and more relaxed in our dress,
which ultimately has almost relaxed how we view business as well.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
And the way we talk to one another, right, you know,
And I don't think we should go back to totally
yes ma'am and yes sir and that type of dialogue,
but it has totally changed and come away from that where,
you know, general conversation is I want to make you
(09:48):
scratch your head at times.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
And I think that as we are talking about this,
because we're talking about dress, we're talking about speech and
things like that, because those type of things might have
brought on a different or certain mentality for certain things,
but in our reality, and we're talking about this type
(10:12):
of stuff because and I'm gonna share to you why
this thing matters, right, because sustainable success it starts with
showing up consistently as.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
You, but not as a performance.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, And so if I show up as myself in
this particular environment, is it will it always be acceptable?
And you're out ofwear necessarily an indicative of who you are,
not necessarily it's just that, hey, you know, I think
(10:51):
we spoke on the other show of how, hey, certain individuals,
you still have to wear a uniform for certain places, right,
So it's just a uniform, right, But you can still
be your authentic self, You can still speak, you can
still do other things to show your personality in that
particular environment, and that you don't have to be someone
(11:16):
else in order to get to another level. The only
reason why I think people not the only reason, but
an indicator of for you not to be yourself, or
people asking for you not to be yourself are challenges
(11:37):
they have with you because unfortunately you and the way
you process things, the way you speak about things, the
where you articulate your personality, how you communicate with your
coworkers can be intimidating to others. And so you know,
so again everyone we're talking about this and why it
(12:00):
matters is because sustainable success it has only going to
come from you being who you are and not putting
on like you're on a Broadway show every every day.
You know, you can't be that individual who's singing and
(12:20):
dancing every day because guess what, You're not going to
feel like it, because guess what, You're going to be
burnt out.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
And that then will.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
That performance will kill your work performance in all honesty,
and then you'll start to see your your numbers go down.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
And so I will explain it from this perspective.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Before we were in the show that a lot of times, Kafa,
I talk about customer service and how and where I
was in customer service right, and if I was someone
else and not my authentic self, I would be too
busy searching for the words to help out the clients,
(13:07):
the customers, the members, whatever it is. And so I
do believe that me being me, I was able to
show and answer, show up one for work, the number
two show up for the people that are serving on
the phone, but ultimately showing up for my co workers
(13:30):
and the team. So I think that's some of the
points of sustainable success and being consistent is just you know,
being consistently you through the process. So do you have
any last thoughts on this?
Speaker 4 (13:46):
No, I agree with everything that you said. I think
you said it quite well, so no other things. I mean,
it all does tie in together, and you just have
to we all have to be careful that we don't
become burnt out and just being mindful of you know,
how we are being our true selves and showing up.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So we thank you very much for listening to that
wheever word podcast and I'll talk to you a little later.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Thanks for listening. Follow Maurice Chisholm on social media to
stay connected and check back weekly for new episodes until
next time. That will never work? Or will it
You can fake it for a while, will you can
only be you for the loan run.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Educate, empower, enable impact. Thank you for tuning in to
that Will Never Work, an award winning podcast where we
share inspiring information and personal experiences related to business and
the entrepreneurial journey from those who are leaders in their
respective field. Now here's your host, author and business coach Maurice.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Hey everyone, how are you today?
Speaker 1 (00:40):
We have a special episode for you today.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
But here's the idea. Here's the point.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
Constantly adjusting to please others draine your energy and blurs
your direction. Being yourself is the only path you can
truly maintain. And so I'm saying that we have this
(01:13):
episode because and it's special because we have a special guest.
You've heard me speak about her over the last few episodes.
I am pleased to present to you my wife, copfro
Chisholm Kapa. Thank you very much for coming and sharing.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
With us today.
Speaker 4 (01:35):
Thank you so much Maurice for having me. Glad to
be here.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
So, Kauf, here's the thing, you know, we.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
Are for some of us, we're constantly adjusting to please
others and it could drain our energy and blur our direction,
and some of that, in my opinion, can be viewed
as impost syndrome or not being able to look ourselves
(02:05):
in the mirror. And a lot of times, to me,
we find ourselves wanting to be something for someone else,
i e. Our manager, our supervisor, you know, those that
are in charge, because we want to leave a great impression.
(02:26):
We want to be able to get that promotion, We
want to be able to get that raise or that
anything else that goes with that special accolades. So how
would you talk to someone.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
Right that.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Feels that way, that that hey, how do I overcome
that imposter syndrome?
Speaker 4 (02:52):
I mean, I think we all, like you said, we
all go through this. We all have situations where we
code switch, where we have to put on as my
mother said, she would put on her penguin suit so
that you can walk the walk and talk the talk
in order to fit within whatever that ideal is for
(03:16):
that company, for that whatever it may be. So I
think it's just something that we all have to do.
But there is there does come a time where you
do get, you know, tired of it. As you said
in the beginning of the show, it only lasts for
a while and then you know, the real you eventually
(03:37):
will come out, so you have to kind of learn
how to manage that.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
And so for me and my own experiences, I do
recall being told to be like someone else. I recall
being told that I needed to have the same work
effort as someone else to speak and talk and dress
(04:04):
like someone else, and that.
Speaker 3 (04:10):
Drained me ultimately.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
It drained me because I didn't I didn't always know
how to respond to a certain situation like someone else
in that situation.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Whether I might have.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
Been young, because I for some of this stuff that
I'm referring to are some of my early years in
corporate America. So I remember those moments where I was
asked to do or be something else that I wasn't
really up to part yet, you know.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
So I think.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
There are people out there that are you know, those
of you that are listening, that have yet to transition
into your next phase of life because you're too busy
worrying about what everybody else has to say instead of
being your authentic self.
Speaker 4 (04:58):
And I think the other issue and we hear authentic
self and be your authentic self a lot, But what
does that really mean? And it may mean different things
for different people and in different situations. Like you said, hey,
if you are trying to be promoted, if you're trying
(05:18):
to you know, launch your own business, right, you know,
how do you have to present yourself as a leader,
as a business owner, as a an up and coming
whatever it may be. You have to present yourself a
(05:39):
certain way. And again you may have to fall in
line with traffic. You know, you may want to be
on the windy path and look at the trees and
all those things, but sometimes you have to be in
the highway with everybody else and you can't go slow.
You have to kind of flow with where things are.
(06:01):
So how do you be authentic in a world that
is not that way or nowadays? Like you said, when
you were coming up and in corporate America, there was
a very strong presence of what corporate America looked like.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Yes, for males.
Speaker 4 (06:19):
And for females, you know, the the attire, the hair,
all of those things were quite different in those in
earlier times for you. So again for me, you know,
the the nineties, you know, early two thousands or whatever,
(06:40):
like what did what did that look like to say
I'm getting up and going to work? You know whatever
that work may have been whether you were entrepreneur, or
you were in corporate America or on Wall Street, wherever
that was. There was a certain look for that right,
and it was displayed in many ways, you know, in
your neighborhoods as well as in on television. You know,
(07:06):
you and I have talked about before, just different professions
and how they dressed and how they carried themselves. And
it lent itself to acting a certain way and demanding
respect without demanding the respect. Because of the way that
you or the way that those individuals were dressed, and
(07:29):
the way that they held themselves was that their true
authentic self. Is that the way they really wanted to
show up and present themselves. I don't know, because I'm
not them, but no one that I can recall came
off like all right, these panty holes are itching me
and I wish I could take them off. They all
(07:49):
seem to, you know, come with another mission, and that
wasn't a focus, unlike nowadays. You know, I've been in
spaces and people look uncomfortable in their clothing or they
are dressing very very comfortably, and you're like, not quite
sure what role they have because of that. So I
(08:13):
think it's a tough line. Again, I think there's a
time and a space for everything, and so there is
a time to be fake, there is a time to
code switch, and there's a time to be authentic.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
And I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
And just be your true self. I think you're true
in both spaces, but I think one may be more
comfortable if you will.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
So I think as I listening to some of the
things that you're stating, it's something that to me was.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Key where you talk about the time.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Yes, you know, so if we look at those people
that were before us, you know, granted, like we're not
that old in all honesty, but if we look at
those that were before us, how they dressed and what
they wore every single day. As time has gone on,
(09:14):
we have become more and more relaxed in our dress,
which ultimately has almost relaxed how we view business as well.
Speaker 4 (09:24):
And the way we talk to one another, right, you know,
And I don't think we should go back to totally
yes ma'am and yes sir and that type of dialogue,
but it has totally changed and come away from that where,
you know, general conversation is I want to make you
(09:48):
scratch your head at times.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
And I think that as we are talking about this,
because we're talking about dress, we're talking about speech and
things like that, because those type of things might have
brought on a different or certain mentality for certain things,
but in our reality, and we're talking about this type
(10:12):
of stuff because and I'm gonna share to you why
this thing matters, right, because sustainable success it starts with
showing up consistently as.
Speaker 3 (10:24):
You, but not as a performance.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, And so if I show up as myself in
this particular environment, is it will it always be acceptable?
And you're out ofwear necessarily an indicative of who you are,
not necessarily it's just that, hey, you know, I think
(10:51):
we spoke on the other show of how, hey, certain individuals,
you still have to wear a uniform for certain places, right,
So it's just a uniform, right, But you can still
be your authentic self, You can still speak, you can
still do other things to show your personality in that
particular environment, and that you don't have to be someone
(11:16):
else in order to get to another level. The only
reason why I think people not the only reason, but
an indicator of for you not to be yourself, or
people asking for you not to be yourself are challenges
(11:37):
they have with you because unfortunately you and the way
you process things, the way you speak about things, the
where you articulate your personality, how you communicate with your
coworkers can be intimidating to others. And so you know,
so again everyone we're talking about this and why it
(12:00):
matters is because sustainable success it has only going to
come from you being who you are and not putting
on like you're on a Broadway show every every day.
You know, you can't be that individual who's singing and
(12:20):
dancing every day because guess what, You're not going to
feel like it, because guess what, You're going to be
burnt out.
Speaker 3 (12:28):
And that then will.
Speaker 1 (12:33):
That performance will kill your work performance in all honesty,
and then you'll start to see your your numbers go down.
Speaker 3 (12:41):
And so I will explain it from this perspective.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Before we were in the show that a lot of times, Kafa,
I talk about customer service and how and where I
was in customer service right, and if I was someone
else and not my authentic self, I would be too
busy searching for the words to help out the clients,
(13:07):
the customers, the members, whatever it is. And so I
do believe that me being me, I was able to
show and answer, show up one for work, the number
two show up for the people that are serving on
the phone, but ultimately showing up for my co workers
(13:30):
and the team. So I think that's some of the
points of sustainable success and being consistent is just you know,
being consistently you through the process. So do you have
any last thoughts on this?
Speaker 4 (13:46):
No, I agree with everything that you said. I think
you said it quite well, so no other things. I mean,
it all does tie in together, and you just have
to we all have to be careful that we don't
become burnt out and just being mindful of you know,
how we are being our true selves and showing up.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
So we thank you very much for listening to that
wheever word podcast and I'll talk to you a little later.
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Thanks for listening. Follow Maurice Chisholm on social media to
stay connected and check back weekly for new episodes until
next time. That will never work? Or will it
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