December 5, 2019 • 30 mins
BBM Episode 43 with Kecia J.
The Main Points:
- Her journey with living her best life with AIDS
- Becoming a first time mom of her beautiful daughter
-The importance of self care as a mom
- Day in the life of a mother on the go!
Make sure to subscribe, comment and stay in touch!
Instagram: @badandbougiemoms
Facebook: The Bad & Bougie Moms Podcast
Music:
Tony Toni Tone - Let's Get Down Instrumental
The Ellen Show - Adorable Kid Dancer ZAZA
The Main Points:
- Her journey with living her best life with AIDS
- Becoming a first time mom of her beautiful daughter
-The importance of self care as a mom
- Day in the life of a mother on the go!
Make sure to subscribe, comment and stay in touch!
Instagram: @badandbougiemoms
Facebook: The Bad & Bougie Moms Podcast
Music:
Tony Toni Tone - Let's Get Down Instrumental
The Ellen Show - Adorable Kid Dancer ZAZA
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
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I am acting like I'm killing andI'm so you are tuning in to
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The Bad and Boujie Mos Podcast Show. Welcome to the Bad and Boujie Mos
Podcast Show, where we pass nojudgments on being pro anti kids for at
least thirty minutes. Get ready toexperience some amazing mommy time with these badass
moms sharing their point of view onrelationships, self love, social media,
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and play anymore. How you guys, This is Brett with another episode of
The Bad and Boujie Mos Podcast Show. Thank you so much for listening.
So on today's episode, I hadthe pleasure of speaking with Miss Quita j
So. Keisha is a powerhouse thathas been breaking down barriers and empowering the
masses. After thirteen years of managingsome of the top acts in a music
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industry, Keisha path Or Purpose tooka detour after being diagnosed with AIDS in
two thousand assists. She then formedher company, I Am Keisha Jay Incorporated,
based out of California, and begantraveling globally telling her truths. Keisha
is the author of her best sellingMEMOIRD Dying to Be a Diva, which
is the three part serious novel thatdetails her life suffering from mental illness and
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like a selfal theme, all whileleading to a diagnosis that would change her
life forever. Since the release ofher MEMOIRD, Keisha travels facilitating truth workshops
for leading corporations and throughout the educationsystems. Shawan individuals has to break down
barriers to get to their purpose,all whiles tapping into their truth. As
of January two and seventeen, Keishabecame one of the new faces of Walgreen's
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new campaign at hiv Ace initiative Let'sGrow Old Together. Keisha was also acknowledged
for all of her hard work inthe hiv ACE community by the Mayor of
the City of Houston, which proclaimin March eighteenth as officially Keisha Johnson Day
in the City. Well, Ihope you guys enjoyed this episode. Keisha
story is amazing. We had agreat time Ashley getting you chat early Sunday
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morning, so I thank her somuch for taking out the time to speak
with me. On the Banda BoujieMoss podcast show, all right you guys,
here we go. Hi guys,this is Britt with the Bad and
Boujie Mom podcast show. And ontoday's episode, I have missed Keisha on
Hey Kissa, how are you girl? I'm good, I'm good. Thank
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you so much for being on theshow. We're gonna go ahead and get
straight to it. So tell usabout yourself. Tell us who you are,
how many kids you have, asfar as you know, you're,
your businesses, I mean everything.I just want to know all about you
on the FO Well, guess well, thank you so much for having me.
Um. I am PTJUM. Mostpeople know me for being UM,
(03:12):
a public speaker, a public figure, UM, you know, being on
the Shade Room or wherever you maysee me. I'm discussing my journey was
living with age for fourteen years andhow I was diagnosed. And you know,
I go where the places where individualsdon't want to go to talk about
it, um, you know,platform plus as the State Room, neighborhood,
talking things like that. I goplaces where it's kind of taboo to
(03:35):
talk about and I explain how youknow, there's life after that UM,
I have a beautiful daughter, healthydaughter Journey. He's gone year old,
and I have three bonus baby frommy life partner. My husband he has
three kids from a previous there.So you know, we're definitely you know,
making it work with our businesses.And I mean he's a logistics and
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I am in the healthcare business.I started aside from traveling in public speaking,
which is what I do in general, I also have a healthcare business,
which is a business that cares touh the elderly who are battling all
khimicis dementia. Because my grandmother wasdiagnosically two years ago. So it inspired
me to UM work closely with thatbecause it's a different type of compassion you
(04:25):
have to have, yeah, whenyou're dealing with a loved one that's battling
all Khima's dementia. Would also inspiredme to UM go and get my uh
L LVN. So I'm actually aschool now and I'll be a licensed ven
by twenty twenty. Nice look atyou doing everything on the move. I
(04:46):
love it. So UM. Asfar as your UM, your journey was,
UM was ace How what like?What tell me your story because I
have not came across it yet,So I would love to hear, Um,
you know, how did that happened? Um, you know everything you
had to go through, as faras you know, like the social part
of it, because I know,like you said, it's very it's a
(05:06):
very taboo subject, especially you know, amongst the black community. So,
UM, just tell me a littlebit you know about your journey absolutely well,
pretty much when I was diagnosed,I know, at twenty two,
I've been in a relationship for almostthree years. Got in a relationship when
(05:26):
I was nineteen, and you knowit was an industry relationship. That particular
person was into be the industry,so I really I wasn't a part of
the industry. You know, Ikind of got into it just being in
that relationship, and you know,it was a relationship to where the person
was nine or ten years my senior, so you know, we had lived
life ten years longer than I had, and you know, he was,
(05:50):
you know, in that industry andthat nightlife is something serious, and I
got into a situations from where youknow, I was starting to love him
and love that situation more than Idid myself, and you know I was
willing to stay in it justspite thedisrespect despite some of the things that and
not a lot of red flag andyou know, after we broke up,
(06:14):
probably ten or eleven months after breakingup, I passed out in the shower
at my friend's house and got admittedto the hospital. They sent me home
for a bacterial infection. They didn'tsee anything, but I passed out again
with a one on three fevers andit increased to on five and got rushed
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to the hospital and an ambulance.And a month into being in the hospital,
they came in and told me Ihad eight and that I only had
two teat cells. So, uh, it was it was a bit much.
From that point I had to umaccept that in turn of like you
know at twenty two and tried toyou know, turned something so m negative
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into a positive, like literally Ihad to. So I decided probably six
months after being nursed and nursing myselfback to healthy and all some of the
industry most strongest men and then goingthrough a lot of um chain and suffering
just to get back to a healthycondition. It's probably April two thousand and
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seven when I did my first speakingengagement in Houston, Texas. And from
that point I decided That's just whatI was going to do, because there's
a lot of growth aspired to bewith a man and a linelight, or
aspire to be with an athlete ora ball player because they think it looks
good. But a lot of thingsthat happened that no one talks about,
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right, Oh my gosh. Andit's crazy that you mentioned that because a
lot of people, especially living herein Atlanta, you know, we see
it all the time. Like yousaid, people see you know, everything
about the line light, the carsand money and all this stuff. But
the relationships get real behind the scenes. Like I've known people kind of with
a similar story. Um, likeyou as far as you know, with
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the health and everything, and youknow, you trust the person. You
know they're older than you. Youknow, you think, okay, it's
a guidance scene like hey, youknow, I love you, you love
me, and you're gonna treat meright. And it's just some people out
there are just not good people andthey do not care. So it's just
you know, and it's in it'scrazy, like you know, people you
(08:33):
get caught up in a certain lifestyleand you want to keep that and it's
like, okay, do our sacrificeyou know me myself, you know,
and what I love to do orwho I am for this. So I'm
so excited that you are actually goingout of speaking because we definitely need that.
So, UM, I was ableto find your passion. So as
far as um your one year old. So, how was your birth journey?
(08:56):
Um? Was it? You know, was it all of something like,
oh my god, I'm pregnant orwere you trying, especially for you
to have one year old? Ihave a two year old, so it
was it's kind of you know,soon for us. I know you probably
remember, but tell us about yourbirth journey. Was journey? Actually?
Right? Absolutely? The birthmen journeywas amazing. Actually, like I had
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a really I just said yesterday whenwe were looking at some pictures, I
said, I really had a crazypregnant you know, you're in you stay
different then when you're pregnant, butthen when you look back, and I
was like, I really enjoyed,you know, being pregnant. I really
didn't. I was blessed to nothave a lot of you know, ailments
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or being naunts or sick or anythingof that nature. So it was really
a great experience. You know.My main concern was just getting journey here
healthy. So I did have tomake sure that I took my medication and
did what I needed to do,and I made sure that I kept a
peaceful mind set, a peaceful environment, a peaceful energy. I could bring,
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you know, into this what ahappy baby, and that's exactly exactly
what she is. I they hadto I had to be induced. I
was in labor for a week.It was it was, uh, you
know, they tried everything to induceme. They tried probably four or five
different methods, and she was nottrying to come. She didn't wanted to
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put a little longer, she didn'twant to come, and she was a
thanksgiving baby, so very thankful forand she got here healthy and gave birth
naturally well, which was not theplan. So I wanted to evert du
Ever, um, I pressed thebutton and the machine wasn't working. So
it's too late for them for theuh, for them to switch out the
(10:46):
machine. So I ended up havingher naturally. And it's you know,
it was an experience. It yeah, go ahead, I'm listening, go
ahead. So it was it wasit was crazy to say the lead however,
um, it's one of those thingsthat you can't really just ride.
(11:07):
But you know, everything happened sofast when your water breaks and you have
fifty million people on you touching you, and I remember at one point I
just wroke down crying, saying,I just will try to stop touching me,
like I just touching me. Ifyou couldn't leave, just stop touching
me, stop digging at me.Just can you stop? Right? The
nurtures like it's almost over, andI was like it needs to be.
(11:31):
Nobody is striped. But it wasso worth it. I was so do
it again. Oh my gosh,you know, and because you know,
like after you have the baby,they think you're like, Okay, you'll
get resh you catching me baby,all that stuff. I tell people those
two or three days you're in thehospital, you get no sleep because people
are coming in like every thirty minutes, poking at you whole site. Yeah,
I asked them. I astley umwith Ramy toon my last one.
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I actually asked him because I'll gohome early. I was like, there's
nothing wrong with me. I'm good, he's good. Can you go ahead
and discharge me because I just wantto sleep. At this point, she
was like okay, right right,yeah, I'm sure I'm good, right,
yeah, right, all right.So as far as um your bonus
kids, what are their ages?Well, proving the twins um eleven and
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then seventeen, oh my god,the boy the girl eleven and then seventeen
year old. Wow. So howdo they feel about having a younger sister
so much y'all could have been there, Like is she you know she's a
spoil one out the group? Likeeverybody loves her? Yeah, I mean
because you know she's actually in thehome and you know they're predominantly they're she
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it seems as if she's the spoilone, and she is. I mean,
he definitely does backflips, you knowfor journey, and she could pretty
much get away with anything. Um. Kind of the frustration on my end
because it's like, no, shecan't. She have to have some boundaries.
It can't be you know she cando that because so you know we
(13:05):
all know, Dad, when itcomes to girls, you know that's a
hype of bar and that it's justI still a speekless life because it's like,
no, she cannot do anything,you know. But they're a little
bit brufer on the boy. Soyes, she's definitely, um, a
little queen of the castle. Absolutely, and that's to whatever how she pokes
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to my mother's house, you know, my grannie. She's just the queen
everywhere. Oh my gosh, that'ssuck and no like um, with my
husband we have a blended family aswell, we have five all together.
And his daughter, Um, shegirl, she could get away with murder
too, and ship my son coulddo the same exact thing that you know
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he didn't. He'll get fus thatwhat she'll do, and he'll get used
that and then you know she'll dothe same thing. And he was like,
oh, it's okay. You knowthat's time just trying to, you
know, be more of mind forothers. So I'm like, wait,
like you just got on his bookabout this, and she did say,
yeah, so we those boundaries asfar as the kids. It's crazy because
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you know, you as a parent, you try your best not to be
that way, but it is sometype of a bond they have. Then
I'm like, okay, I justI just pointed out every single time,
and I know he gets tired ofme doing that, Like, yo,
okay, we understand, you knowshe's special. I'm like whatever, so
yeah, yeah, yeah, good, good, all right, So we're
gonna switch scares a little bit.So as far as your relationship, you
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mentioned that you do have a lifepartner. So when did you guys meet
and um, and how was itbreaking it down to him? As far
as UM, as far as whatwhat are you bringing to the table in
a relationship? Oh my goodness.So this isn't gonna tell you. I
have a whole lifetime story. SoI met. It came sixteen years ago.
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We actually met when I was nineteenas well. But we were just
friends, just so funny to meand and we were just sitting on the
phone and talking at that time.He looked at it. He was in
a different state and I was inTexas, and were just some of the
funniest conversations. And you know,we lost touch over the years, got
back in touch and I was ina relationship and he had just got a
(15:15):
floor, sir, and so westarted talking again. I was in a
relationship and that relationship that I wasin with is actually Journey. That actually
Journey sad we are not together.He's my husband now, is Journey's honorary
dads who we follow now. Sohe came back into my life probably when
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I was about for my pregnant andwe had been talking to friends, but
came back basically and you know,he was like, you know, you're
one of my best friends. AndI was like, you're my best friend.
And he was just so supportive,so so so soal supportive to where
I was just kind of blown away. I was like, so you do
know this, right, and hewas like yeah, you know, but
you know the fact that since anunboard child, he was like, I
(16:02):
want to be there, re cardless. So we actually talked about it.
We talked about everything down to thelast thing, talked about how he would
be there to everything, and lastyear we said we actually want to you
know, be us in the oneand then that's what we did. So
we became a family just almost ayear ago now and it's just like it
literally we said all the time,like I put us back together because after
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sixty years, like literally, man, when I was nineteen, but we
were both with different people. Cameback around. He was getting out of
something, I was still in something, and I actually left that relationship due
to domestic violence, and I saidto myself, I wouldn't my daughter were
not ever repeat the fightful ever,so I walked away, you know,
(16:47):
and and didn't look back, andGod had something else right because I stepped
away. Wow, Wow, Sakisha, How do you find your strength?
What makes you? Because you seea very strong woman that you're able to
get through things, you know?But myself, do you pull from other
people or you just you know yourself? Like, yo, I have to
get through this. I have thingsI need to do. I have a
(17:08):
daughter. You know that I'm tryingto take care of flight. What motivates
you in that aspect? Oh,my goodness, I think with everything.
I've had a talk with myself andI said all the time that when you're
told that you have an illness andyou have to be a to do cancer,
to be any loofus anything, youimmediately have to choose either I'm going
(17:33):
to fight or flight, you know. And when you choose that you're to
fight, you have to mentally putit in your head that no matter what
is thrown at me. Because Iliterally have to learn how to walk again
because I had my body had walktmuscle mass from from the virus. That's
what happens, Your muscle mass shifts. So I had to train my mind
to be able to get through anythingI had to. So do I have
(17:56):
moments at y'all cry. Y'all havethose moments, but it's only so long
I'm going to allow myself to stayin that because at some point you have
to change that feeling and too,Okay, what am I going to do
to change it? What am Igoing to do to fix it? And
trustee, it doesn't get any rougherthan having it if you don't have your
(18:18):
health, Like a lot of peoplefeel like having things is amazing, and
I own this business and I haveto touch it and I these kids and
I or you don't have a husband, you could be single and being an
amazing mom or whatever. But ifyou don't have your health and you're in
the hospital and your kids are lacking, or you're lacking and everything around you,
it's going to fall apart because you'renot your best self within your health.
(18:41):
But I have I have to makethose decisions to be strong. Men,
I don't have a choice, right, totally agree, totally agree so
with so with your schedule, Iknow men, you us talking to be
forehand. As far as you beingin multiple cities due to your business,
how how do you manage everything likeas far as being a mom, you
know, being with your like partnereverything. How how do you what it's
(19:03):
like your typical day, Like,Okay, Tomorrow's Monday, walking through your
day all my dirty so so tomorrowis Monday, just saying if I'm working
up without my baby, shit,I'm literally I'm literally up by five am
for thirty I would like for fiveam, and I'm drinking a green drink
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and I'm going to go do somesort of workout just so i can get
my mind clear. Um. Andafter that I'm incorporating that with you know,
my spiritual I'm typically listening to asermon while I'm working out. Yeah,
I'll do as patient. And thenmy day starts with my business probably
about seven seven thirty the lads,And throughout the day I'm either on the
computer or I'm running to a patient'shome to you know, you just do
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an assessment to walk walk through,intake outtake um, find some another family
up, and next you know,you look up and it's as I being
a person who's just in with outof child and with out of partner for
so long, the biggest struggle hasbeen the balance. And you know,
(20:15):
I'm not you still getting up andyou know him saying, no, baby,
can you do this thing? Helook this up for me. You
know, society to be like havinganother child and you're like, hold on,
wait a minute, Paul. I'mliterally forgetting about myself at time.
So it will be you know,my baby first, hell, you know,
(20:37):
my him taking my business third,and in somewhere in there it would
be me. So I'm learning toout the day to include myself in the
midst of my whole day of doingeverything to everybody else. Yeah, And
I would say that one of thestruggles with being a new move it's just
probably be in a my period.I thought I was in the plot light
(21:03):
though. I was like, howdo you How can people do this?
And it's funny because I because youknow, like all of us go through
the same thing and as moms,we normally would put ourselves last. And
I've learned for twenty nineteen. Onetakeaway I took is that you have to
make out time for yourself because ifnot, you will legit go crazy.
And you know, and I askedto Yeah, I had got to that
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point like Okay, I'm doing allthe things for the kids. The kids
are straight. You know. Myhusband's like, oh, I need this,
is this? Is this all right? Boom, you're straight, And
I'm like, yo, I haven'teven got my nails done in like two
months, and I used to goand get them done every other week.
You know what I'm saying, Like, you just have to fail and you
can't feel guilty about it. That'sanother thing, especially being a new mom.
It's like, Okay, I gottapass my child off to, you
(21:48):
know, someone so I could dowhat I need to do to make sure,
you know, they have a greatlife. And it's like, but
I'm a mom, Like dude,I'm supposed to do that, or you
know, the trusty. It's justa lot of emotions that go behind it,
so it's a it's hard, butonce you get the groove of it,
you'll be good, absolutely. Andthat's what I'm learning is the group.
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And I'm like, oh my god, I didn't get the groove.
And I was talking to another friendof mine the other day and she was
like, y'all, I didn't getthe groove until my travels too. She
was like, God, you getit at your own page, at your
own time. And I think Iwas putting so much treasure on myself to
get it right away. Got youagot you all right? So last topic
we're gonna talk about it that we'regonna get to our hot seat questions.
(22:32):
Um, you didn't mention that youworked with patients that have dementia, So
what are some of the new thesigns? Like the first only on signs
that people can watch for? Um, I definitely like my family members are
older. My mom is seventy,so I have a lot of older unts
and you know in great uns that'slike in the nursing homes and anything like
(22:52):
that. But one of my untsdid suffer from dementia and I wasn't personally
there to see the sign. SoI would definitely like to know what are
a couple What are are a coupleof signs that people can kind of pick
up on just to see if somethingneeds to be checked out. Definitely,
UM one of the main signs.I would definitely say, you have to
(23:14):
start looking at their patterns, allright. You have to look at patterns.
Typically, you know anyone in theelderly family, they could people have
a pattern they'll get up. Forexample, my grandmother got up she do
water roabe Monday Wednesday Friday, sheyou know, would come back, you
have her lunch, so on andso forth. However, um so it
(23:37):
started to change. She started notwanting to do things. Um Also,
you gotta listen for the question.If they're starting to ask you questions in
a repetitive manner, you gotta stepback and say, Okay, what what
is going on? UM? Iknow my grandmother would take her longer to
do things, like she would alwaysdo her bills twice and she would she
(24:00):
would go and sit by her checkbookand dudes break down the bills through the
registry and it would take her probablyan hour to complete everything. One Sunday
it probably about four to five hoursbecause she was frustrated and she wasn't gonna
say the numbers were just too muchthat she was forgetting certain things. She
was gonna sit there until she gotit. So you have to look at
(24:22):
what they're having trouble with as well. M Typically they sleep more and really
just a lot of the questions.You want to look at patterns, the
patterns the questions they may were askinga repetitive manner, and the sleeping and
the willing and the desire to wantto do things typically that decreases. Wow.
(24:44):
Yeah, And someone else mentioned tome Ill, you know when you
work with patients that do have tomensha or if it's a family member that
there, if it like they knowlike at a certain point, like for
instance, you mentioned the bills,like you said, she kind of knew,
you know, something wasn't added up, but they won't ask for help.
Like they kind of get that feelingtoo, like Okay, something's off,
(25:06):
but they're not going to say anything. Like you literally have to pull
it out of them, like hey, do you you know you need help
or do you want me to assistyou? And so and I know um
one of my friends because his momsuffers from it, and he said that
was the hardest thing, having tolet them let things go as for us,
their everyday responsibility they used to have. Having to move that to someone
(25:27):
else was the hardest thing that theyhave to do. Yeah, yeah,
oh god, it is. Itreally is. Well, my grandmothers having
the roughest time and even the patiencethat I do. What I have one
patient in la Or had one patientand Brown loved her to you to death.
But you know that was another uhsitting back and watching that she just
(25:51):
still wants some sort of control still, and you know she was he actually
was in a hoot. You neededa horrior list to let her and put
her in the bed. She couldn'tdo any thing for herself. But she
still will try. She still willtry. She still wanted to get a
credit card in order off of thehome shopping network. She still wanted to
do those things, although she couldnot. So that's probably the hardest thing.
(26:15):
And when you're a caregiver or you'rea family, you gotta put yourself
in that too to have everything kindof take it away. Yeah, and
it's oh my gosh, oh mygosh. Yes, we can talk about
that all day, but we're gonnago ahead and wrap it up. Yes,
all right, so we will justhave to have another episode, all
right. So for the last thingon the batter, Boujie mis, I
(26:36):
do this little game Coffee hot Seat, which is five random questions that I
would ask you. Of course,you just gotta answer. I'm like,
you know anything from the top ofyour head. So would you like to
play? Of course? Also allright, so question number one, if
you want a million dollars, whatwould be the first thing you'll buy?
(26:56):
My grandmother knew home. Okay,also, I love it, all right.
Question number two, name three thingsyou love about yourself? Um,
courageous, strong, and fearless.Oh lord, I love that. That
sounds like Beyonce girl. All right. Question number three. If you were
being robbed and could get out ofit by wrapping or sinking one song perfectly,
(27:22):
what song would it be? Ohmy goodness, I know, oh
my finness? What would it bethat is a goodness? Harry being now
alright? He said, okay,all right, I love me some care
hell she needs to go ahead andcome out with another album. Yes,
(27:45):
yes, yes, she's really good. All right. Question number four,
what is the last book you read? Last book? I would it was
called Happy. I'm not forget theauthor's name, but it's a book we're
basically telling you how to get tohappen. Okay. I think I actually
have that one in my but Ithink I've seen it before. But okay,
(28:07):
cool, all right. Question numberfive, if you were if you
can't go back, what would youtell your twenty one on your old self?
This is not worth it. Likely, it's not worth it. Everything,
all the decisions you're making right now, it's not worth it. Let's
reevaluate girl. That would be onething I tell myself to like, girl,
(28:29):
you gonna be okay? Like justreevaluate, do you? And I
promise you you will be fine?Right right? All right? Also aside,
Kesa, but thank you so muchfor being on the podcast show.
And if anybody wants to follow yourjourney on social media, how can you
be reached? I can be read. They can follow both my pages at
my fad red life it's my personalpage. Am I page anything started to
(28:53):
my advocacy and my brand thing isa at I am Tecia j k Eci
a jay. Also you can alsofollow me on Twitter. I love Twitter
her So it is that I awebsite will be relaunching this month and at
that impj dot com. So youcan also just google me as well.
(29:15):
It'll take you to everything the bookI've written everything, It'll take you tell
you everything about me. Awesome,awesome, thank you so much for being
on. All right, guys,that is it for us. We hope
you enjoyed the show. If youlike to get into some more fun,
follow us on social media on Instagram. We are at at bad and Boujie
(29:37):
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I am acting like I'm killing andI'm so you are tuning in to
(00:20):
The Bad and Boujie Mos Podcast Show. Welcome to the Bad and Boujie Mos
Podcast Show, where we pass nojudgments on being pro anti kids for at
least thirty minutes. Get ready toexperience some amazing mommy time with these badass
moms sharing their point of view onrelationships, self love, social media,
(00:45):
and play anymore. How you guys, This is Brett with another episode of
The Bad and Boujie Mos Podcast Show. Thank you so much for listening.
So on today's episode, I hadthe pleasure of speaking with Miss Quita j
So. Keisha is a powerhouse thathas been breaking down barriers and empowering the
masses. After thirteen years of managingsome of the top acts in a music
(01:08):
industry, Keisha path Or Purpose tooka detour after being diagnosed with AIDS in
two thousand assists. She then formedher company, I Am Keisha Jay Incorporated,
based out of California, and begantraveling globally telling her truths. Keisha
is the author of her best sellingMEMOIRD Dying to Be a Diva, which
is the three part serious novel thatdetails her life suffering from mental illness and
(01:33):
like a selfal theme, all whileleading to a diagnosis that would change her
life forever. Since the release ofher MEMOIRD, Keisha travels facilitating truth workshops
for leading corporations and throughout the educationsystems. Shawan individuals has to break down
barriers to get to their purpose,all whiles tapping into their truth. As
of January two and seventeen, Keishabecame one of the new faces of Walgreen's
(01:59):
new campaign at hiv Ace initiative Let'sGrow Old Together. Keisha was also acknowledged
for all of her hard work inthe hiv ACE community by the Mayor of
the City of Houston, which proclaimin March eighteenth as officially Keisha Johnson Day
in the City. Well, Ihope you guys enjoyed this episode. Keisha
story is amazing. We had agreat time Ashley getting you chat early Sunday
(02:24):
morning, so I thank her somuch for taking out the time to speak
with me. On the Banda BoujieMoss podcast show, all right you guys,
here we go. Hi guys,this is Britt with the Bad and
Boujie Mom podcast show. And ontoday's episode, I have missed Keisha on
Hey Kissa, how are you girl? I'm good, I'm good. Thank
(02:47):
you so much for being on theshow. We're gonna go ahead and get
straight to it. So tell usabout yourself. Tell us who you are,
how many kids you have, asfar as you know, you're,
your businesses, I mean everything.I just want to know all about you
on the FO Well, guess well, thank you so much for having me.
Um. I am PTJUM. Mostpeople know me for being UM,
(03:12):
a public speaker, a public figure, UM, you know, being on
the Shade Room or wherever you maysee me. I'm discussing my journey was
living with age for fourteen years andhow I was diagnosed. And you know,
I go where the places where individualsdon't want to go to talk about
it, um, you know,platform plus as the State Room, neighborhood,
talking things like that. I goplaces where it's kind of taboo to
(03:35):
talk about and I explain how youknow, there's life after that UM,
I have a beautiful daughter, healthydaughter Journey. He's gone year old,
and I have three bonus baby frommy life partner. My husband he has
three kids from a previous there.So you know, we're definitely you know,
making it work with our businesses.And I mean he's a logistics and
(03:59):
I am in the healthcare business.I started aside from traveling in public speaking,
which is what I do in general, I also have a healthcare business,
which is a business that cares touh the elderly who are battling all
khimicis dementia. Because my grandmother wasdiagnosically two years ago. So it inspired
me to UM work closely with thatbecause it's a different type of compassion you
(04:25):
have to have, yeah, whenyou're dealing with a loved one that's battling
all Khima's dementia. Would also inspiredme to UM go and get my uh
L LVN. So I'm actually aschool now and I'll be a licensed ven
by twenty twenty. Nice look atyou doing everything on the move. I
(04:46):
love it. So UM. Asfar as your UM, your journey was,
UM was ace How what like?What tell me your story because I
have not came across it yet,So I would love to hear, Um,
you know, how did that happened? Um, you know everything you
had to go through, as faras you know, like the social part
of it, because I know,like you said, it's very it's a
(05:06):
very taboo subject, especially you know, amongst the black community. So,
UM, just tell me a littlebit you know about your journey absolutely well,
pretty much when I was diagnosed,I know, at twenty two,
I've been in a relationship for almostthree years. Got in a relationship when
(05:26):
I was nineteen, and you knowit was an industry relationship. That particular
person was into be the industry,so I really I wasn't a part of
the industry. You know, Ikind of got into it just being in
that relationship, and you know,it was a relationship to where the person
was nine or ten years my senior, so you know, we had lived
life ten years longer than I had, and you know, he was,
(05:50):
you know, in that industry andthat nightlife is something serious, and I
got into a situations from where youknow, I was starting to love him
and love that situation more than Idid myself, and you know I was
willing to stay in it justspite thedisrespect despite some of the things that and
not a lot of red flag andyou know, after we broke up,
(06:14):
probably ten or eleven months after breakingup, I passed out in the shower
at my friend's house and got admittedto the hospital. They sent me home
for a bacterial infection. They didn'tsee anything, but I passed out again
with a one on three fevers andit increased to on five and got rushed
(06:35):
to the hospital and an ambulance.And a month into being in the hospital,
they came in and told me Ihad eight and that I only had
two teat cells. So, uh, it was it was a bit much.
From that point I had to umaccept that in turn of like you
know at twenty two and tried toyou know, turned something so m negative
(07:03):
into a positive, like literally Ihad to. So I decided probably six
months after being nursed and nursing myselfback to healthy and all some of the
industry most strongest men and then goingthrough a lot of um chain and suffering
just to get back to a healthycondition. It's probably April two thousand and
(07:26):
seven when I did my first speakingengagement in Houston, Texas. And from
that point I decided That's just whatI was going to do, because there's
a lot of growth aspired to bewith a man and a linelight, or
aspire to be with an athlete ora ball player because they think it looks
good. But a lot of thingsthat happened that no one talks about,
(07:49):
right, Oh my gosh. Andit's crazy that you mentioned that because a
lot of people, especially living herein Atlanta, you know, we see
it all the time. Like yousaid, people see you know, everything
about the line light, the carsand money and all this stuff. But
the relationships get real behind the scenes. Like I've known people kind of with
a similar story. Um, likeyou as far as you know, with
(08:11):
the health and everything, and youknow, you trust the person. You
know they're older than you. Youknow, you think, okay, it's
a guidance scene like hey, youknow, I love you, you love
me, and you're gonna treat meright. And it's just some people out
there are just not good people andthey do not care. So it's just
you know, and it's in it'scrazy, like you know, people you
(08:33):
get caught up in a certain lifestyleand you want to keep that and it's
like, okay, do our sacrificeyou know me myself, you know,
and what I love to do orwho I am for this. So I'm
so excited that you are actually goingout of speaking because we definitely need that.
So, UM, I was ableto find your passion. So as
far as um your one year old. So, how was your birth journey?
(08:56):
Um? Was it? You know, was it all of something like,
oh my god, I'm pregnant orwere you trying, especially for you
to have one year old? Ihave a two year old, so it
was it's kind of you know,soon for us. I know you probably
remember, but tell us about yourbirth journey. Was journey? Actually?
Right? Absolutely? The birthmen journeywas amazing. Actually, like I had
(09:18):
a really I just said yesterday whenwe were looking at some pictures, I
said, I really had a crazypregnant you know, you're in you stay
different then when you're pregnant, butthen when you look back, and I
was like, I really enjoyed,you know, being pregnant. I really
didn't. I was blessed to nothave a lot of you know, ailments
(09:39):
or being naunts or sick or anythingof that nature. So it was really
a great experience. You know.My main concern was just getting journey here
healthy. So I did have tomake sure that I took my medication and
did what I needed to do,and I made sure that I kept a
peaceful mind set, a peaceful environment, a peaceful energy. I could bring,
(10:01):
you know, into this what ahappy baby, and that's exactly exactly
what she is. I they hadto I had to be induced. I
was in labor for a week.It was it was, uh, you
know, they tried everything to induceme. They tried probably four or five
different methods, and she was nottrying to come. She didn't wanted to
(10:22):
put a little longer, she didn'twant to come, and she was a
thanksgiving baby, so very thankful forand she got here healthy and gave birth
naturally well, which was not theplan. So I wanted to evert du
Ever, um, I pressed thebutton and the machine wasn't working. So
it's too late for them for theuh, for them to switch out the
(10:46):
machine. So I ended up havingher naturally. And it's you know,
it was an experience. It yeah, go ahead, I'm listening, go
ahead. So it was it wasit was crazy to say the lead however,
um, it's one of those thingsthat you can't really just ride.
(11:07):
But you know, everything happened sofast when your water breaks and you have
fifty million people on you touching you, and I remember at one point I
just wroke down crying, saying,I just will try to stop touching me,
like I just touching me. Ifyou couldn't leave, just stop touching
me, stop digging at me.Just can you stop? Right? The
nurtures like it's almost over, andI was like it needs to be.
(11:31):
Nobody is striped. But it wasso worth it. I was so do
it again. Oh my gosh,you know, and because you know,
like after you have the baby,they think you're like, Okay, you'll
get resh you catching me baby,all that stuff. I tell people those
two or three days you're in thehospital, you get no sleep because people
are coming in like every thirty minutes, poking at you whole site. Yeah,
I asked them. I astley umwith Ramy toon my last one.
(11:54):
I actually asked him because I'll gohome early. I was like, there's
nothing wrong with me. I'm good, he's good. Can you go ahead
and discharge me because I just wantto sleep. At this point, she
was like okay, right right,yeah, I'm sure I'm good, right,
yeah, right, all right.So as far as um your bonus
kids, what are their ages?Well, proving the twins um eleven and
(12:18):
then seventeen, oh my god,the boy the girl eleven and then seventeen
year old. Wow. So howdo they feel about having a younger sister
so much y'all could have been there, Like is she you know she's a
spoil one out the group? Likeeverybody loves her? Yeah, I mean
because you know she's actually in thehome and you know they're predominantly they're she
(12:43):
it seems as if she's the spoilone, and she is. I mean,
he definitely does backflips, you knowfor journey, and she could pretty
much get away with anything. Um. Kind of the frustration on my end
because it's like, no, shecan't. She have to have some boundaries.
It can't be you know she cando that because so you know we
(13:05):
all know, Dad, when itcomes to girls, you know that's a
hype of bar and that it's justI still a speekless life because it's like,
no, she cannot do anything,you know. But they're a little
bit brufer on the boy. Soyes, she's definitely, um, a
little queen of the castle. Absolutely, and that's to whatever how she pokes
(13:28):
to my mother's house, you know, my grannie. She's just the queen
everywhere. Oh my gosh, that'ssuck and no like um, with my
husband we have a blended family aswell, we have five all together.
And his daughter, Um, shegirl, she could get away with murder
too, and ship my son coulddo the same exact thing that you know
(13:48):
he didn't. He'll get fus thatwhat she'll do, and he'll get used
that and then you know she'll dothe same thing. And he was like,
oh, it's okay. You knowthat's time just trying to, you
know, be more of mind forothers. So I'm like, wait,
like you just got on his bookabout this, and she did say,
yeah, so we those boundaries asfar as the kids. It's crazy because
(14:09):
you know, you as a parent, you try your best not to be
that way, but it is sometype of a bond they have. Then
I'm like, okay, I justI just pointed out every single time,
and I know he gets tired ofme doing that, Like, yo,
okay, we understand, you knowshe's special. I'm like whatever, so
yeah, yeah, yeah, good, good, all right, So we're
gonna switch scares a little bit.So as far as your relationship, you
(14:31):
mentioned that you do have a lifepartner. So when did you guys meet
and um, and how was itbreaking it down to him? As far
as UM, as far as whatwhat are you bringing to the table in
a relationship? Oh my goodness.So this isn't gonna tell you. I
have a whole lifetime story. SoI met. It came sixteen years ago.
(14:52):
We actually met when I was nineteenas well. But we were just
friends, just so funny to meand and we were just sitting on the
phone and talking at that time.He looked at it. He was in
a different state and I was inTexas, and were just some of the
funniest conversations. And you know,we lost touch over the years, got
back in touch and I was ina relationship and he had just got a
(15:15):
floor, sir, and so westarted talking again. I was in a
relationship and that relationship that I wasin with is actually Journey. That actually
Journey sad we are not together.He's my husband now, is Journey's honorary
dads who we follow now. Sohe came back into my life probably when
(15:39):
I was about for my pregnant andwe had been talking to friends, but
came back basically and you know,he was like, you know, you're
one of my best friends. AndI was like, you're my best friend.
And he was just so supportive,so so so soal supportive to where
I was just kind of blown away. I was like, so you do
know this, right, and hewas like yeah, you know, but
you know the fact that since anunboard child, he was like, I
(16:02):
want to be there, re cardless. So we actually talked about it.
We talked about everything down to thelast thing, talked about how he would
be there to everything, and lastyear we said we actually want to you
know, be us in the oneand then that's what we did. So
we became a family just almost ayear ago now and it's just like it
literally we said all the time,like I put us back together because after
(16:25):
sixty years, like literally, man, when I was nineteen, but we
were both with different people. Cameback around. He was getting out of
something, I was still in something, and I actually left that relationship due
to domestic violence, and I saidto myself, I wouldn't my daughter were
not ever repeat the fightful ever,so I walked away, you know,
(16:47):
and and didn't look back, andGod had something else right because I stepped
away. Wow, Wow, Sakisha, How do you find your strength?
What makes you? Because you seea very strong woman that you're able to
get through things, you know?But myself, do you pull from other
people or you just you know yourself? Like, yo, I have to
get through this. I have thingsI need to do. I have a
(17:08):
daughter. You know that I'm tryingto take care of flight. What motivates
you in that aspect? Oh,my goodness, I think with everything.
I've had a talk with myself andI said all the time that when you're
told that you have an illness andyou have to be a to do cancer,
to be any loofus anything, youimmediately have to choose either I'm going
(17:33):
to fight or flight, you know. And when you choose that you're to
fight, you have to mentally putit in your head that no matter what
is thrown at me. Because Iliterally have to learn how to walk again
because I had my body had walktmuscle mass from from the virus. That's
what happens, Your muscle mass shifts. So I had to train my mind
to be able to get through anythingI had to. So do I have
(17:56):
moments at y'all cry. Y'all havethose moments, but it's only so long
I'm going to allow myself to stayin that because at some point you have
to change that feeling and too,Okay, what am I going to do
to change it? What am Igoing to do to fix it? And
trustee, it doesn't get any rougherthan having it if you don't have your
(18:18):
health, Like a lot of peoplefeel like having things is amazing, and
I own this business and I haveto touch it and I these kids and
I or you don't have a husband, you could be single and being an
amazing mom or whatever. But ifyou don't have your health and you're in
the hospital and your kids are lacking, or you're lacking and everything around you,
it's going to fall apart because you'renot your best self within your health.
(18:41):
But I have I have to makethose decisions to be strong. Men,
I don't have a choice, right, totally agree, totally agree so
with so with your schedule, Iknow men, you us talking to be
forehand. As far as you beingin multiple cities due to your business,
how how do you manage everything likeas far as being a mom, you
know, being with your like partnereverything. How how do you what it's
(19:03):
like your typical day, Like,Okay, Tomorrow's Monday, walking through your
day all my dirty so so tomorrowis Monday, just saying if I'm working
up without my baby, shit,I'm literally I'm literally up by five am
for thirty I would like for fiveam, and I'm drinking a green drink
(19:26):
and I'm going to go do somesort of workout just so i can get
my mind clear. Um. Andafter that I'm incorporating that with you know,
my spiritual I'm typically listening to asermon while I'm working out. Yeah,
I'll do as patient. And thenmy day starts with my business probably
about seven seven thirty the lads,And throughout the day I'm either on the
computer or I'm running to a patient'shome to you know, you just do
(19:49):
an assessment to walk walk through,intake outtake um, find some another family
up, and next you know,you look up and it's as I being
a person who's just in with outof child and with out of partner for
so long, the biggest struggle hasbeen the balance. And you know,
(20:15):
I'm not you still getting up andyou know him saying, no, baby,
can you do this thing? Helook this up for me. You
know, society to be like havinganother child and you're like, hold on,
wait a minute, Paul. I'mliterally forgetting about myself at time.
So it will be you know,my baby first, hell, you know,
(20:37):
my him taking my business third,and in somewhere in there it would
be me. So I'm learning toout the day to include myself in the
midst of my whole day of doingeverything to everybody else. Yeah, And
I would say that one of thestruggles with being a new move it's just
probably be in a my period.I thought I was in the plot light
(21:03):
though. I was like, howdo you How can people do this?
And it's funny because I because youknow, like all of us go through
the same thing and as moms,we normally would put ourselves last. And
I've learned for twenty nineteen. Onetakeaway I took is that you have to
make out time for yourself because ifnot, you will legit go crazy.
And you know, and I askedto Yeah, I had got to that
(21:26):
point like Okay, I'm doing allthe things for the kids. The kids
are straight. You know. Myhusband's like, oh, I need this,
is this? Is this all right? Boom, you're straight, And
I'm like, yo, I haven'teven got my nails done in like two
months, and I used to goand get them done every other week.
You know what I'm saying, Like, you just have to fail and you
can't feel guilty about it. That'sanother thing, especially being a new mom.
It's like, Okay, I gottapass my child off to, you
(21:48):
know, someone so I could dowhat I need to do to make sure,
you know, they have a greatlife. And it's like, but
I'm a mom, Like dude,I'm supposed to do that, or you
know, the trusty. It's justa lot of emotions that go behind it,
so it's a it's hard, butonce you get the groove of it,
you'll be good, absolutely. Andthat's what I'm learning is the group.
(22:10):
And I'm like, oh my god, I didn't get the groove.
And I was talking to another friendof mine the other day and she was
like, y'all, I didn't getthe groove until my travels too. She
was like, God, you getit at your own page, at your
own time. And I think Iwas putting so much treasure on myself to
get it right away. Got youagot you all right? So last topic
we're gonna talk about it that we'regonna get to our hot seat questions.
(22:32):
Um, you didn't mention that youworked with patients that have dementia, So
what are some of the new thesigns? Like the first only on signs
that people can watch for? Um, I definitely like my family members are
older. My mom is seventy,so I have a lot of older unts
and you know in great uns that'slike in the nursing homes and anything like
(22:52):
that. But one of my untsdid suffer from dementia and I wasn't personally
there to see the sign. SoI would definitely like to know what are
a couple What are are a coupleof signs that people can kind of pick
up on just to see if somethingneeds to be checked out. Definitely,
UM one of the main signs.I would definitely say, you have to
(23:14):
start looking at their patterns, allright. You have to look at patterns.
Typically, you know anyone in theelderly family, they could people have
a pattern they'll get up. Forexample, my grandmother got up she do
water roabe Monday Wednesday Friday, sheyou know, would come back, you
have her lunch, so on andso forth. However, um so it
(23:37):
started to change. She started notwanting to do things. Um Also,
you gotta listen for the question.If they're starting to ask you questions in
a repetitive manner, you gotta stepback and say, Okay, what what
is going on? UM? Iknow my grandmother would take her longer to
do things, like she would alwaysdo her bills twice and she would she
(24:00):
would go and sit by her checkbookand dudes break down the bills through the
registry and it would take her probablyan hour to complete everything. One Sunday
it probably about four to five hoursbecause she was frustrated and she wasn't gonna
say the numbers were just too muchthat she was forgetting certain things. She
was gonna sit there until she gotit. So you have to look at
(24:22):
what they're having trouble with as well. M Typically they sleep more and really
just a lot of the questions.You want to look at patterns, the
patterns the questions they may were askinga repetitive manner, and the sleeping and
the willing and the desire to wantto do things typically that decreases. Wow.
(24:44):
Yeah, And someone else mentioned tome Ill, you know when you
work with patients that do have tomensha or if it's a family member that
there, if it like they knowlike at a certain point, like for
instance, you mentioned the bills,like you said, she kind of knew,
you know, something wasn't added up, but they won't ask for help.
Like they kind of get that feelingtoo, like Okay, something's off,
(25:06):
but they're not going to say anything. Like you literally have to pull
it out of them, like hey, do you you know you need help
or do you want me to assistyou? And so and I know um
one of my friends because his momsuffers from it, and he said that
was the hardest thing, having tolet them let things go as for us,
their everyday responsibility they used to have. Having to move that to someone
(25:27):
else was the hardest thing that theyhave to do. Yeah, yeah,
oh god, it is. Itreally is. Well, my grandmothers having
the roughest time and even the patiencethat I do. What I have one
patient in la Or had one patientand Brown loved her to you to death.
But you know that was another uhsitting back and watching that she just
(25:51):
still wants some sort of control still, and you know she was he actually
was in a hoot. You neededa horrior list to let her and put
her in the bed. She couldn'tdo any thing for herself. But she
still will try. She still willtry. She still wanted to get a
credit card in order off of thehome shopping network. She still wanted to
do those things, although she couldnot. So that's probably the hardest thing.
(26:15):
And when you're a caregiver or you'rea family, you gotta put yourself
in that too to have everything kindof take it away. Yeah, and
it's oh my gosh, oh mygosh. Yes, we can talk about
that all day, but we're gonnago ahead and wrap it up. Yes,
all right, so we will justhave to have another episode, all
right. So for the last thingon the batter, Boujie mis, I
(26:36):
do this little game Coffee hot Seat, which is five random questions that I
would ask you. Of course,you just gotta answer. I'm like,
you know anything from the top ofyour head. So would you like to
play? Of course? Also allright, so question number one, if
you want a million dollars, whatwould be the first thing you'll buy?
(26:56):
My grandmother knew home. Okay,also, I love it, all right.
Question number two, name three thingsyou love about yourself? Um,
courageous, strong, and fearless.Oh lord, I love that. That
sounds like Beyonce girl. All right. Question number three. If you were
being robbed and could get out ofit by wrapping or sinking one song perfectly,
(27:22):
what song would it be? Ohmy goodness, I know, oh
my finness? What would it bethat is a goodness? Harry being now
alright? He said, okay,all right, I love me some care
hell she needs to go ahead andcome out with another album. Yes,
(27:45):
yes, yes, she's really good. All right. Question number four,
what is the last book you read? Last book? I would it was
called Happy. I'm not forget theauthor's name, but it's a book we're
basically telling you how to get tohappen. Okay. I think I actually
have that one in my but Ithink I've seen it before. But okay,
(28:07):
cool, all right. Question numberfive, if you were if you
can't go back, what would youtell your twenty one on your old self?
This is not worth it. Likely, it's not worth it. Everything,
all the decisions you're making right now, it's not worth it. Let's
reevaluate girl. That would be onething I tell myself to like, girl,
(28:29):
you gonna be okay? Like justreevaluate, do you? And I
promise you you will be fine?Right right? All right? Also aside,
Kesa, but thank you so muchfor being on the podcast show.
And if anybody wants to follow yourjourney on social media, how can you
be reached? I can be read. They can follow both my pages at
my fad red life it's my personalpage. Am I page anything started to
(28:53):
my advocacy and my brand thing isa at I am Tecia j k Eci
a jay. Also you can alsofollow me on Twitter. I love Twitter
her So it is that I awebsite will be relaunching this month and at
that impj dot com. So youcan also just google me as well.
(29:15):
It'll take you to everything the bookI've written everything, It'll take you tell
you everything about me. Awesome,awesome, thank you so much for being
on. All right, guys,that is it for us. We hope
you enjoyed the show. If youlike to get into some more fun,
follow us on social media on Instagram. We are at at bad and Boujie
(29:37):
Moms on Facebook at The Bad andBoujie Moms, and also on Twitter at
BBM Underscore Podcast may share, youlike, share in comment on any of
the podcast platforms that you listen tous on. Again, we hope you
guys enjoy See you later. Two
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