December 6, 2019 • 29 mins
BBM Episode 44 with Angelika J.
The Main Points:
- Her journey through motherhood while serving in the Army and playing basketball
- Why she chose to obtain her PhD in Human and Social Services and the important of supporting out Vets
- How to handle the emotions behind have your child enlist in the military
- Breaking the stigma... Just because we tall don't mean we have to play basketball lol
Make sure to subscribe, comment and stay in touch!
Instagram: @badandbougiemoms
Facebook: The Bad & Bougie Moms Podcast
Music:
Tony Toni Tone - Let's Get Down Instrumental
The Ellen Show - Adorable Kid Dancer ZAZA
The Main Points:
- Her journey through motherhood while serving in the Army and playing basketball
- Why she chose to obtain her PhD in Human and Social Services and the important of supporting out Vets
- How to handle the emotions behind have your child enlist in the military
- Breaking the stigma... Just because we tall don't mean we have to play basketball lol
Make sure to subscribe, comment and stay in touch!
Instagram: @badandbougiemoms
Facebook: The Bad & Bougie Moms Podcast
Music:
Tony Toni Tone - Let's Get Down Instrumental
The Ellen Show - Adorable Kid Dancer ZAZA
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
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COO I am acting like I'm killingand I'm so you are tuning in to
(00:20):
The Bad and Boujie Mos Podcast Show. Welcome to the Bad and Boujie Mos
Podcast Show, where we pass nojudgments on being pro anti kids for at
least thirty minutes. Get ready toexperience some amazing mommy time with these badass
moms sharing their point of view onrelationships, self love, social media,
(00:45):
and play anymore. Hi guys,this is spread with the Bad and Boujie
Mos Podcast Show. Thank you somuch for listening, and on our next
episode, we have Miss Angelica Johnson. So. Angelica is a very spa
Tanya Sagittarius. She's thirty nine yearsold, married with two children and a
wonderful bonus daughter. Angelica served inthe United States Army for six years and
(01:10):
it's a two time college graduate whois currently pursuing her PhD in Human and
Social Services with a specialization in militaryfamilies and cultures. She played collegiate love
of basketball as well as in themilitary and has had an opportunity to play
overseas with a WBCL semi professional team. A few of her hobbies consist of
(01:33):
shopping, attending professional basketball games,dining out, and spending time with her
very close friends, which of courseis her family. So you guys,
I hope you enjoyed this amazing runNUR season episode. Please make sure you're
going like comments, share all aboutthe band and bou Jamal's podcast and let's
(01:53):
get into it. How you guys, This is Brett with the Bad and
Boujie Maas podcast show and on today'sepisode, I have missed Angelica. How
are you, Angelica? I'm great. How are you? I'm good.
I'm good. So thank you somuch for being a part of the podcast.
(02:15):
I really really appreciate it and thekid things off. We just want
to learn a little bit more aboutyou, So tell us you know who
you are, how many kids youhave, are you in relationship, are
you single? And what do youdo for a living? Okay, So
my name is Angelica Johnson. I'moriginally from Willmington, Delaware, by way
(02:38):
of Sweetwater, Alabama. Very smalltown. Okay, I'm in West Alabama.
I am married, to have beenmarried for thirteen years, aging on
fourteen. I have two children anda wonderful bonus child who attends FAM You
nice. Yes, I'm you're notthe face army veteran. I have a
(03:02):
son, my nineteen year old.He's actually serving in this fourth country right
now as well. So problem aboutthat, Uh huh. I am a
full time employee government employee. Atthat I am a full time college student
as well in my doctoral studies,so I'm working on exploring the experiences of
(03:27):
stigmentation with female veterans becoming homeless oncethey separate from the military. But that's
kind of like my focus and prettymuch that's it in a small nutshell,
because I can sit here and talkto you all night about you know,
what I've done from the age ofeighteen to thirty nine. I don't want
(03:50):
to take up everybody's time, butthat's pretty much it in a nutshell.
Okay, awesome, awesome. Sowith your servant in the military, did
you guys have to move around alot? Like? How how was military
life? Um? And also raisingkids? Um? Military life was fun.
I only had one child at thetime, so it was kind of
(04:15):
stressful because I was a single motherat that time. So I had to
leave my son with one of myold, ye faithful aunts, very good
care of my son while I wasaway. Um, so that I can't
say was a challenge. Okay,awesome and so and this is with the
(04:39):
nineteen year old, correct, yes, also so with okay, so with
the nineteen year old, because I'massuming he's in college. No, he's
the one who's um actually serving themilitary right now. So did he a
part of the army branch or didhe go to a different branch? He's
in an army yeah, nice,So with you. So, with that
(05:02):
being said, when he told youthat he wanted to join the army,
what kind of feeling did that bringto you, especially with you being in
it yourself and knowing how everything goes, where you excited for him or where
you're like, hey, you know, are you sure this is what you
want to do? That that wasa feeling I had. I did not
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want him to join the military,because I know how it takes you away
from your family, But at theend of the day, it does,
you know, have his perks,and I wanted him to explore the world,
you know, for free on thegovernment's time. And that was the
best way to do it. Youknow, I didn't want him to be
(05:43):
a part of that stereotype. Ohhe's going to be an athlete type of
deal. So I'm kind of gladthat he did join the military just for
that. But other afterwards we talkedabout it. I was excited for him.
He has a short contract, sowe're good. It's not nothing long.
So he's planning on going to UMthe Office of Cords and spending about
(06:09):
four to six years in So excited. Okayken, it's and it's it's crazy
that you mentioned that because I havetwo nephews. One actually just joined the
Marines last year, so we wentthrough that whole you know thing. He
was eighteen. You know, Um, it was just me and my mom
my sisters. That's who I grewup with, so just being all females.
(06:29):
Of course, you know, weare up here crying when he leaves
for Basic and riding him every day, and you know this and now the
headway you can do it over likea little app email. So he was
like, oh my god, thisis great and then um, and he's
over in Japan now. But it'sjust the transition of emotions. You go
through even though my family our militaryfamily as well, so we understand,
(06:51):
you know, being with the dutystations things like that, but when it's
one of your you know, oneof your babies going in, it's like,
right, let me let me doyou think this? So? Um,
so it's definitely good to hear that. You know, you still have
that same type of my friend,like you sure you want to do this?
And then it's still on his ownawesome And I'm sorry, I'm actually
(07:13):
getting over a coach. So ifyou hear me coughing, that's a girl.
That's what's going on. Yes,ma'am, that's fine, A right,
So, m all right, soflipping this girl. So you mentioned,
um, I know you're bio.You are? You are very tall.
I want to say you're five tenNo, I'm sick too, this
too. Okay, I thought youwas the same height as me because I'm
five ten and a half and I'mlike giving my half I deserve it.
(07:36):
So how tall is your son?My son is sixty three, Oh my
gosh. Because when you mentioned,like, you know, I didn't want
him to do the whole basketball there, I was like, oh, he
has to be tall, right,Well, he actually enjoyed football more so,
isn't that crazy? My son,my bonus son, he's the same
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way, Like he just started playingbasketball last year, but love football and
will beat the brakes off of peoplebecause you know, he's so long,
so he can get down the fieldsuper fast. Right. But you know,
of course everybody asked, why areyou gonna play basketball? He's like,
he didn't, he really didn't likebasketball like that, but he went
aheaded he's gonna try it this year. So I'm like, all right,
don't beat the stereotypical you know,yeah, talk yeah. And this is
(08:20):
because he you know, and I'mgonna speak for the tall people because normally
we're very athletic, athletic anyway,so we normally it's sports, you know.
So I'm not worried about that either. Girl. But it's just I
didn't want that whole stereotypical thing becauseof course me being tall, and I
know you know this too. Thefirst thing people ask is did you play
basketball? Or do you play basketball? And I'm like, you know,
(08:41):
there's other things out here that youknow, tall people can do, so
right, yes, but you didactually pay basketball for a little while overseas,
correct, I did I played collegelevel ball, played overseas, and
then I also played forts ProTeam.So how was that? So how was
(09:03):
that whole lifestyle and how long didyou actually play for it? I enjoyed
it. So when I was eighteen. This is a funny story. So
remember I was telling you that Iwas from a small town with Alabama.
I was the first person to receivea full scholarship for basketball since like nineteen
(09:30):
eighty something, seventy something. Yeah, so I was impressed. So I
went to college in Panama City,Florida, at the Post Community College,
and I thought I was grown andI do not return after the settlemern they
maybe go to summer school, Isaid. I bought basketball. So that's
how I got into the military.Okay, so once I got into military,
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I started playing ball a little bitand went to Korea. So while
I was in Korea, UM,the Army team was recruiting at that time,
and at this point I was like, I'm getting out the military.
I'm not thinking about this mess.H. They recruited me and over there,
so I told him I didn't wantto play anymore, getting out or
(10:15):
whatever. So I came back tothe States and when you played post ball.
We played different colleges in the localarea. Okay, well we played
the school in South Carolina, Voh'sCollege. Don't you know what, I
said, No, girl, Idon't South CA's gotten this ball. Um.
(10:37):
So I played there with them fora little while and my journey playing
with them, I had an opportunityto go play with spaniah State. Well
I was like, I am notabout to go lead from one HBC to
another one. The difference was thedivisions that they were in. Okay,
yeah, yeah, So I waslike, I said, I'm like this,
(11:01):
you know, think about this.Well, December comes along, you
know, I'm out of my littlegroom. I was excited. Well,
let's just say my last little wormwas present. Yeah. I was like,
oh my god, right, littlebugger. You couldn't wait. So
(11:24):
I got pregnant and my husband was, you know, active duty. So
we last and went to Fort DrumAnd at that point I applied for Women's
Blue Chip Basketball when I went toa camp that they had in um Greensboro,
North Carolina, went to the camp, tried out, made the All
(11:45):
Star team. I was shocked,now because I just had a baby.
I wonder she wasn't even a year, went and tried out made their UM
All Star team. So the allStar team was eventually getting ready go to
Hungary. I was so excited.I was like, oh my god,
this is my chance again to playbasketball. Well, it must not been
(12:09):
in my plans or the toord Lord'splan. It must have been his because
at that point when I had boughtmy ticket and everything and go over,
um, my husband tore his achillesand I couldn't go. Oh no,
yeah, so that was my lastand final moment of organized basketball. So
I've been up playing basketball for years. Wow. And then all achilles.
(12:33):
Just listen, And it's crazy thatit was the achilles, because you know,
that was what it was pleas thatwas the only way somebody was able
to get them. So yeah,that's crazy. Yep. Couldn't walk,
couldn't take care of the baby,of course, because I'm like, well
I can't go right all right?Oh my goys, that's crazy. So
(12:56):
speaking about your husband, so whatwould be one of the UM Well,
if someone asked you for some advicesfor us being in a relationship, especially
since you've been married for fourteen years, what would be your one main piece
of advice you are guilt. Opencommunication gotta happy? Yes, yes?
(13:18):
And as for us with open communication, are you talking about like being able
to talk about any and everything orjust being you know, making sure you're
on the same accord as all timesany and everything. Um, it was
times when I told and I waslike, look, im not feeling happy.
You know, you gotta work onthis. Something gotta change. You
(13:39):
know. It all very well tohave been things that I was doing too,
but being that he was a componentand he was a part of the
marriage, you know, I'm talking, I'm happy to let him know as
well that I'm not happy at thispoint. I'm not happy with this.
I'm gonna have to fix it,right. And when he opened to that,
like when he hear you talk,he actually listened like Okay, I'm
(14:03):
gonna try something's up, let's dothis, let's do that, or it's
just like all right, I hearyou, and then it just kind of
goes away. He actually was verygood at it. And I'm his second
wife, so i'm and I'm youngerthan him, so I guess, you
know, him maturing and then beingwith you know, on his second marriage
(14:24):
and trying to work on things differentlythan when he did the first time.
I'm assuming that. I'm like,okay, so he wants to make this
work, so we're gonna work togetheras a team. But he was very
open to it. He did whathe had to do. I did what
I had to do to the threemans, and you know, even Brown
so years. Yeah, And it'sbecause that you mentioned, because like me
(14:48):
and my husband, we're buff onour second marriages too. He was married
for eight years. I was marriedfor like a year and a half.
I tell people don't count, butum, you know, being on our
second marriage and I let but know, like when you get married for the
second time, like it's honestly,it's like, oh, we're stuck together
forever. Like whatever we need todo to work this out, you know,
(15:09):
we're gonna make sure we work itout. And I also, you
know, see the same thing inmy husband, Like it's a lot of
mistakes he said he made in hisfirst marriage, and you know he wants
to learn from that and move forwardfrom that. So I'm like, well,
you know, it's true. Andthey said that, you know,
normally the first relationships build the personbetter for the second person who came,
so right, Yeah, yeah,I definitely agree on that, especially with
(15:31):
the open communication, because I'm thesame way, like if I'm not happy,
I'm like, hey, I'm nothappy, I need to do this.
We need to like I need toget a massage. I'm gonna need
to go on. And you know, he was like, oh, yeah,
I got you. And I'm likeall right now, and then for
him it goes out in one earout the other, and I have to
remind him like two days later.I remember. I'm like, no,
(15:54):
you don't because if you did,you know you did did something about now.
So I think it's a day socool. All right, So you
said you mentioned that you are I'mstill in school. So what are you
going to school for? And umand what makes you chose to go into
that field? So I'm in theSchool of Human and Social Services for more
(16:18):
PhD. And I really just wentthis route because I want to be able
to open up a nonprofit organization forfemale veterans who are either homeres or there
um being threatened, you know,going toward homelessness or whatnot, kind of
(16:41):
like a shelter type deal, butnot really Okay, And yeah, because
doing my research now, there's alot of things out there that you know,
female veterans are lacking, and Iwant to be a part of that
social change, right and we're thatbeing said, like, I'm surprised the
(17:02):
army doesn't have where any type ofmilitary French don't have some type of program
that kind of transition you know,you not. I know, they have
like a program that will transition youout of the military, but something that's
more I guess, more strenuous thanwhat it is, because you do hear
that a lot of people are goinghomeless after they leave the service, so
(17:22):
it's just crazy that you know,they haven't really kind of got up on
that and you know, try tomake a difference because it is out there.
I mean, I've seen it,you know, personally, so it's
good that you're gonna actually go thatroute. Yeah, I mean, they
have some program hood Bass is oneof them, but everybody doesn't qualify under
that program. So those that don't, you know, where does that leave
(17:47):
them? You know? And someveterans just don't want the responsibility or owning
a home. Yeah, I mean, you know, they have other challenges
and issues that they are dealing with, you know, co occurring disorders and
stuff and um, just just alot of things. I mean, I've
(18:07):
heard several veterans say, hey,I don't I don't want a house.
I want to responsibility of a home, And I get it. It's stressful
trying to get right. I understand. Yeah, okay. So so when
you do have a person, likeif you do come up to a person
who has that mindset like, hey, I don't want to own a home,
will your program Astley said, Hey, you know, we can help
(18:30):
you, you know, least outof apartment or try to put you into
something where you feel comfortable handling.Um, I would they will be a
set program for them, say,my main focus is ones that are battling
like mental health disorders and cocurring youknow, diseases like you know UM or
(18:52):
just substance abuse issues where you knowthey it's it's kind of going to be
like a one stop shop. Iwant to have nurses on staff. I
want to have you know, medicalproviders and you know, other therapists because
I am an associate professional counselor aswell, so I want other professionals like
that in there. I kind ofwanted to be a safe space for them
(19:17):
because I was actually reading a reviewingan article today in reference to military sexual
trauma when ladies are faced or experiencingthat they have to go in these facilities
where men are located. And no, I'm not saying, you know,
men are the perpetrator every time,but for the most part they are.
(19:41):
So now you have this woman goinginto this facility with all these men,
and she's not gonna want to comeback, right and not feel comfortable or
anything. Right, Yeah, AndI've experienced that myself, you know,
not not sexual trauma, but wellnot military sexual trauma. Let me take
that back, but I know whatit feels like. They're going to va
(20:04):
and you know, being cat called. That is that's one to me.
So I can only have back toand that's been traumatizing military sexually. I
know, I cannot. I can'timagine because I'm thinking because I'm not sure
if you know, but I'm fromColumbus, Georgia, which it's kind of
it's on the west side of Georgia, so it's kind of close to the
(20:26):
west side of Alabama and um inour in our actual county, like for
instance, if you go to WonderCourt, so whatever, they actually have
like people who are like actually inthe jail like right now, working around
the courthouse and um, and Iremember growing up being so uncomfortable going there
because like they will be like ina parking lot, like in a parking
(20:48):
deck, me and them, andI'm like and they're trying to talk to
me, and I'm like, ohmy god, oh my god, like
someone right, I'm gonna get me. So I can only imagine how a
lady, you know, someone wouldfeel who's been traumatized by something like that.
And then you're trying to come inand get services and you still gotta,
you know, go through all that. It's just it's scary and it
needs to definitely need people out thereto help them sell. Yeah gosh,
(21:12):
I'm getting off flustered now thinking aboutit. Child. Ye So yeah,
okay, So that's definitely the planthat you want to be on. So
as far as you're for silty,where would you like to open it up
at? Will it be like somewherethat's narrow military base? So will it
be in like in a large city. I would love to have a facility
(21:33):
in a rural area, but I'mnot quite sure how that will workout for
me, And only because at thatpoint in wural areas you have. And
I'm from a very small town andby the way, I live in the
city, Alabama. But uh yeah, girl, my sister session staying on
(21:56):
smell station child. I just Ijust actually went to a house last weekend.
I was like, great, sayI think that got a jack a
jack in a box or something onI want to say, that's a yeah,
yeah, I was a girl.Okay, Okay, She's like had
it. I'm like whatever, y'alljust got this like three months ago.
Shut up, they did. Theyjust got it. Okay. So yeah,
(22:18):
so you want to be in arural area, but um, but
you said it might be a kindof hard to get to that. I
guess to be in a rural area, right. And my and my thing
is, you know already for somepeople, they have limited access to services,
um. And I can use mydad as an example. My dad
(22:41):
as a retiree UM and he hasto drive like almost two hours to go
to his VA appointments. So justimagine the people that lives in that same
area where he is that does notdrive and don't own a car. Right.
So there's the reason why I kindof want to put it in a
(23:02):
rural area. But I also Iam not sure if my services are going
to be utilized to his capacity becauseI am in a rule. Yeah,
seriously saying yeah, because I wantto say, like the people. Um,
because my brother in law he actuallyloves to Finished City too, just
so random and um, and hefor his VA appointments, I want to
(23:26):
say, he had to drive toTuskegee in order to go. Yeah,
And it's just like, you know, and I was thinking, what if
someone who, like you said,who cannot drive like that should not be
the closest place they would have togo to. So it's just especially when
they have places available in Columbus,right, And that's just crazy that I
want. I just wish someone wouldYeah, definitely with the girl. I
(23:48):
just wish they will put more effortinto these type of services because it's not
like just you know, every otherperson is just complaining. Everybody complaining,
you know. So yeah, yeah, and they have shuttles. Okay,
granted you have a shuttle, butit's a shuttle gonna come to my house.
No. The shuttles go to theother you know, facilities and pick
(24:10):
up people and take them certain places. So if I live out in Harris
County. He's a shuttle gonna comepick me up. No, it's not.
So I have to figure out away to get to Myskogee County on
thirteenth Street, so the shuttle cantake me to my appointment, right right,
And you know the VA they're gonnasay, oh, well, we
(24:30):
provide shuttles, and it's like justright like that gonna make no, you
provide shuttles at your location, likeI can't get there right? Oh my
god? Right? Okay, yeahgirl. We could talk all day about
that, but um so yeah,so we're gonna go ahead and wrap it
up because I know it's late forme and you and you know it's it's
(24:51):
a Thursday night, y'all. Totell people my bedtime at a cool ten
o'clock on during the weekday. Soall right, so people, all right,
so we're gonna go ahead and getout into our hot seat. Question
rounds. So it's five random questionsthat I came up with, and then
all I ask is that you answerthem, you know, from what however
you want to answer them from thetop of your head, So would you
(25:12):
like to play sure? All right, So question number one, if you
want a million dollars today. Whatwould be the first thing you'll buy?
A house? A house? Okay, all right? How much would you
spend on your house? Threety?Okay, that's cool that you sound like
(25:37):
me, because everyone's like, oh, you want to get like an eight
hundred dollars. I'm like, no, I just need me a good little
house with about four bedrooms, youknow, split love or whatever. The
kids are comfortable and I'm good,so I think I could do that for
about a you know, about threefifty, that's all right. Question number
two, Name three things you loveabout yourself My personality, my tenacity,
(26:03):
and my sarcasm. I love itall who girl? I love a person
who got who has good scarcas ahoney, because everybody don't get no jokes
right. They were like, man, I'm like this ship was funny,
Like what are you talking about?Like? I don't all right? Question
number three. If you were beingrobbed and could get out of it by
(26:23):
wrapping or singing it one song perfectly, what song would it be? Uh?
Tuplock song you don't want to ifwith me? You yeah, okay,
okay, my song would be andI it this is so funny.
I don't know why I know thissong like Verbata but um not project Path
(26:47):
but three siss mafia slab on theknob. I can tell I could see
every single line like it's nothing.I mean I could be like I ask
drunk, I still seeing this songperfectly, and I'm like, yo,
the Robert probably just gonna leave methere, child because he's gonna like this
girl just souns slop on my knob. Seriously, Yeah, that would be
my song. All right. Questionquestion number four, Yes, all right?
(27:11):
Question number four, what is thelast book you read? M M,
that's bad. I haven't read anybooks. I've been researching articles because
I'm supposa say you've been studying,so you get a pass. Yeah,
alright. And last question, ifyou could trade places with with one person
(27:33):
for a day, who would itbe? Gabrielle? Un you really he's
so I want her? Man?No, I was a man. I
don't you like the way girlmen lovewith that boy? Yes, oh my
god, like you've been lotting himfor a while, like back in the
(27:56):
day, like he just he wassuper found he first came on the scene.
Now that he kind of like setin his ways, I'm just like,
okay, I'm gonna how to takeyou as you are, like you
still find but you get a kindon me now baby, like I don't
know he is he is? Ohmy gosh. All right, well,
thank you so much for being onthe show. I really appreciate it.
(28:18):
And if people want to follow yourjourney on social media, how can you
be reached philosophizing Underscore doctor d RUncore n E l I and that's my
I g handle. Okay, cool, but thank you so much for being
on the show. Say by tothe people, Thank you by, PA,
(28:42):
have a good one. All right. All right, guys, that
is it for us. We hopeyou enjoyed the show. If you'd like
to get into some more fun,follow us on social media on Instagram we
are at at Bad and Bougeon Moms, on Facebook look at deep at and
Boujie Moms, and also on Twitterat BBM. Underscore Podcast. May share
(29:07):
you like, share in comment onany other podcast platforms that you listen to
us on. Again, we hopeyou guys enjoy See you later.
This podcast is powered by Roberts MediaGroup, your resource for podcast development.
For more programming and advertising opportunities,please visit us at Roberts Media Group dot
COO I am acting like I'm killingand I'm so you are tuning in to
(00:20):
The Bad and Boujie Mos Podcast Show. Welcome to the Bad and Boujie Mos
Podcast Show, where we pass nojudgments on being pro anti kids for at
least thirty minutes. Get ready toexperience some amazing mommy time with these badass
moms sharing their point of view onrelationships, self love, social media,
(00:45):
and play anymore. Hi guys,this is spread with the Bad and Boujie
Mos Podcast Show. Thank you somuch for listening, and on our next
episode, we have Miss Angelica Johnson. So. Angelica is a very spa
Tanya Sagittarius. She's thirty nine yearsold, married with two children and a
wonderful bonus daughter. Angelica served inthe United States Army for six years and
(01:10):
it's a two time college graduate whois currently pursuing her PhD in Human and
Social Services with a specialization in militaryfamilies and cultures. She played collegiate love
of basketball as well as in themilitary and has had an opportunity to play
overseas with a WBCL semi professional team. A few of her hobbies consist of
(01:33):
shopping, attending professional basketball games,dining out, and spending time with her
very close friends, which of courseis her family. So you guys,
I hope you enjoyed this amazing runNUR season episode. Please make sure you're
going like comments, share all aboutthe band and bou Jamal's podcast and let's
(01:53):
get into it. How you guys, This is Brett with the Bad and
Boujie Maas podcast show and on today'sepisode, I have missed Angelica. How
are you, Angelica? I'm great. How are you? I'm good.
I'm good. So thank you somuch for being a part of the podcast.
(02:15):
I really really appreciate it and thekid things off. We just want
to learn a little bit more aboutyou, So tell us you know who
you are, how many kids youhave, are you in relationship, are
you single? And what do youdo for a living? Okay, So
my name is Angelica Johnson. I'moriginally from Willmington, Delaware, by way
(02:38):
of Sweetwater, Alabama. Very smalltown. Okay, I'm in West Alabama.
I am married, to have beenmarried for thirteen years, aging on
fourteen. I have two children anda wonderful bonus child who attends FAM You
nice. Yes, I'm you're notthe face army veteran. I have a
(03:02):
son, my nineteen year old.He's actually serving in this fourth country right
now as well. So problem aboutthat, Uh huh. I am a
full time employee government employee. Atthat I am a full time college student
as well in my doctoral studies,so I'm working on exploring the experiences of
(03:27):
stigmentation with female veterans becoming homeless oncethey separate from the military. But that's
kind of like my focus and prettymuch that's it in a small nutshell,
because I can sit here and talkto you all night about you know,
what I've done from the age ofeighteen to thirty nine. I don't want
(03:50):
to take up everybody's time, butthat's pretty much it in a nutshell.
Okay, awesome, awesome. Sowith your servant in the military, did
you guys have to move around alot? Like? How how was military
life? Um? And also raisingkids? Um? Military life was fun.
I only had one child at thetime, so it was kind of
(04:15):
stressful because I was a single motherat that time. So I had to
leave my son with one of myold, ye faithful aunts, very good
care of my son while I wasaway. Um, so that I can't
say was a challenge. Okay,awesome and so and this is with the
(04:39):
nineteen year old, correct, yes, also so with okay, so with
the nineteen year old, because I'massuming he's in college. No, he's
the one who's um actually serving themilitary right now. So did he a
part of the army branch or didhe go to a different branch? He's
in an army yeah, nice,So with you. So, with that
(05:02):
being said, when he told youthat he wanted to join the army,
what kind of feeling did that bringto you, especially with you being in
it yourself and knowing how everything goes, where you excited for him or where
you're like, hey, you know, are you sure this is what you
want to do? That that wasa feeling I had. I did not
(05:23):
want him to join the military,because I know how it takes you away
from your family, But at theend of the day, it does,
you know, have his perks,and I wanted him to explore the world,
you know, for free on thegovernment's time. And that was the
best way to do it. Youknow, I didn't want him to be
(05:43):
a part of that stereotype. Ohhe's going to be an athlete type of
deal. So I'm kind of gladthat he did join the military just for
that. But other afterwards we talkedabout it. I was excited for him.
He has a short contract, sowe're good. It's not nothing long.
So he's planning on going to UMthe Office of Cords and spending about
(06:09):
four to six years in So excited. Okayken, it's and it's it's crazy
that you mentioned that because I havetwo nephews. One actually just joined the
Marines last year, so we wentthrough that whole you know thing. He
was eighteen. You know, Um, it was just me and my mom
my sisters. That's who I grewup with, so just being all females.
(06:29):
Of course, you know, weare up here crying when he leaves
for Basic and riding him every day, and you know this and now the
headway you can do it over likea little app email. So he was
like, oh my god, thisis great and then um, and he's
over in Japan now. But it'sjust the transition of emotions. You go
through even though my family our militaryfamily as well, so we understand,
(06:51):
you know, being with the dutystations things like that, but when it's
one of your you know, oneof your babies going in, it's like,
right, let me let me doyou think this? So? Um,
so it's definitely good to hear that. You know, you still have
that same type of my friend,like you sure you want to do this?
And then it's still on his ownawesome And I'm sorry, I'm actually
(07:13):
getting over a coach. So ifyou hear me coughing, that's a girl.
That's what's going on. Yes,ma'am, that's fine, A right,
So, m all right, soflipping this girl. So you mentioned,
um, I know you're bio.You are? You are very tall.
I want to say you're five tenNo, I'm sick too, this
too. Okay, I thought youwas the same height as me because I'm
five ten and a half and I'mlike giving my half I deserve it.
(07:36):
So how tall is your son?My son is sixty three, Oh my
gosh. Because when you mentioned,like, you know, I didn't want
him to do the whole basketball there, I was like, oh, he
has to be tall, right,Well, he actually enjoyed football more so,
isn't that crazy? My son,my bonus son, he's the same
(07:57):
way, Like he just started playingbasketball last year, but love football and
will beat the brakes off of peoplebecause you know, he's so long,
so he can get down the fieldsuper fast. Right. But you know,
of course everybody asked, why areyou gonna play basketball? He's like,
he didn't, he really didn't likebasketball like that, but he went
aheaded he's gonna try it this year. So I'm like, all right,
don't beat the stereotypical you know,yeah, talk yeah. And this is
(08:20):
because he you know, and I'mgonna speak for the tall people because normally
we're very athletic, athletic anyway,so we normally it's sports, you know.
So I'm not worried about that either. Girl. But it's just I
didn't want that whole stereotypical thing becauseof course me being tall, and I
know you know this too. Thefirst thing people ask is did you play
basketball? Or do you play basketball? And I'm like, you know,
(08:41):
there's other things out here that youknow, tall people can do, so
right, yes, but you didactually pay basketball for a little while overseas,
correct, I did I played collegelevel ball, played overseas, and
then I also played forts ProTeam.So how was that? So how was
(09:03):
that whole lifestyle and how long didyou actually play for it? I enjoyed
it. So when I was eighteen. This is a funny story. So
remember I was telling you that Iwas from a small town with Alabama.
I was the first person to receivea full scholarship for basketball since like nineteen
(09:30):
eighty something, seventy something. Yeah, so I was impressed. So I
went to college in Panama City,Florida, at the Post Community College,
and I thought I was grown andI do not return after the settlemern they
maybe go to summer school, Isaid. I bought basketball. So that's
how I got into the military.Okay, so once I got into military,
(09:52):
I started playing ball a little bitand went to Korea. So while
I was in Korea, UM,the Army team was recruiting at that time,
and at this point I was like, I'm getting out the military.
I'm not thinking about this mess.H. They recruited me and over there,
so I told him I didn't wantto play anymore, getting out or
(10:15):
whatever. So I came back tothe States and when you played post ball.
We played different colleges in the localarea. Okay, well we played
the school in South Carolina, Voh'sCollege. Don't you know what, I
said, No, girl, Idon't South CA's gotten this ball. Um.
(10:37):
So I played there with them fora little while and my journey playing
with them, I had an opportunityto go play with spaniah State. Well
I was like, I am notabout to go lead from one HBC to
another one. The difference was thedivisions that they were in. Okay,
yeah, yeah, So I waslike, I said, I'm like this,
(11:01):
you know, think about this.Well, December comes along, you
know, I'm out of my littlegroom. I was excited. Well,
let's just say my last little wormwas present. Yeah. I was like,
oh my god, right, littlebugger. You couldn't wait. So
(11:24):
I got pregnant and my husband was, you know, active duty. So
we last and went to Fort DrumAnd at that point I applied for Women's
Blue Chip Basketball when I went toa camp that they had in um Greensboro,
North Carolina, went to the camp, tried out, made the All
(11:45):
Star team. I was shocked,now because I just had a baby.
I wonder she wasn't even a year, went and tried out made their UM
All Star team. So the allStar team was eventually getting ready go to
Hungary. I was so excited.I was like, oh my god,
this is my chance again to playbasketball. Well, it must not been
(12:09):
in my plans or the toord Lord'splan. It must have been his because
at that point when I had boughtmy ticket and everything and go over,
um, my husband tore his achillesand I couldn't go. Oh no,
yeah, so that was my lastand final moment of organized basketball. So
I've been up playing basketball for years. Wow. And then all achilles.
(12:33):
Just listen, And it's crazy thatit was the achilles, because you know,
that was what it was pleas thatwas the only way somebody was able
to get them. So yeah,that's crazy. Yep. Couldn't walk,
couldn't take care of the baby,of course, because I'm like, well
I can't go right all right?Oh my goys, that's crazy. So
(12:56):
speaking about your husband, so whatwould be one of the UM Well,
if someone asked you for some advicesfor us being in a relationship, especially
since you've been married for fourteen years, what would be your one main piece
of advice you are guilt. Opencommunication gotta happy? Yes, yes?
(13:18):
And as for us with open communication, are you talking about like being able
to talk about any and everything orjust being you know, making sure you're
on the same accord as all timesany and everything. Um, it was
times when I told and I waslike, look, im not feeling happy.
You know, you gotta work onthis. Something gotta change. You
(13:39):
know. It all very well tohave been things that I was doing too,
but being that he was a componentand he was a part of the
marriage, you know, I'm talking, I'm happy to let him know as
well that I'm not happy at thispoint. I'm not happy with this.
I'm gonna have to fix it,right. And when he opened to that,
like when he hear you talk,he actually listened like Okay, I'm
(14:03):
gonna try something's up, let's dothis, let's do that, or it's
just like all right, I hearyou, and then it just kind of
goes away. He actually was verygood at it. And I'm his second
wife, so i'm and I'm youngerthan him, so I guess, you
know, him maturing and then beingwith you know, on his second marriage
(14:24):
and trying to work on things differentlythan when he did the first time.
I'm assuming that. I'm like,okay, so he wants to make this
work, so we're gonna work togetheras a team. But he was very
open to it. He did whathe had to do. I did what
I had to do to the threemans, and you know, even Brown
so years. Yeah, And it'sbecause that you mentioned, because like me
(14:48):
and my husband, we're buff onour second marriages too. He was married
for eight years. I was marriedfor like a year and a half.
I tell people don't count, butum, you know, being on our
second marriage and I let but know, like when you get married for the
second time, like it's honestly,it's like, oh, we're stuck together
forever. Like whatever we need todo to work this out, you know,
(15:09):
we're gonna make sure we work itout. And I also, you
know, see the same thing inmy husband, Like it's a lot of
mistakes he said he made in hisfirst marriage, and you know he wants
to learn from that and move forwardfrom that. So I'm like, well,
you know, it's true. Andthey said that, you know,
normally the first relationships build the personbetter for the second person who came,
so right, Yeah, yeah,I definitely agree on that, especially with
(15:31):
the open communication, because I'm thesame way, like if I'm not happy,
I'm like, hey, I'm nothappy, I need to do this.
We need to like I need toget a massage. I'm gonna need
to go on. And you know, he was like, oh, yeah,
I got you. And I'm likeall right now, and then for
him it goes out in one earout the other, and I have to
remind him like two days later.I remember. I'm like, no,
(15:54):
you don't because if you did,you know you did did something about now.
So I think it's a day socool. All right, So you
said you mentioned that you are I'mstill in school. So what are you
going to school for? And umand what makes you chose to go into
that field? So I'm in theSchool of Human and Social Services for more
(16:18):
PhD. And I really just wentthis route because I want to be able
to open up a nonprofit organization forfemale veterans who are either homeres or there
um being threatened, you know,going toward homelessness or whatnot, kind of
(16:41):
like a shelter type deal, butnot really Okay, And yeah, because
doing my research now, there's alot of things out there that you know,
female veterans are lacking, and Iwant to be a part of that
social change, right and we're thatbeing said, like, I'm surprised the
(17:02):
army doesn't have where any type ofmilitary French don't have some type of program
that kind of transition you know,you not. I know, they have
like a program that will transition youout of the military, but something that's
more I guess, more strenuous thanwhat it is, because you do hear
that a lot of people are goinghomeless after they leave the service, so
(17:22):
it's just crazy that you know,they haven't really kind of got up on
that and you know, try tomake a difference because it is out there.
I mean, I've seen it,you know, personally, so it's
good that you're gonna actually go thatroute. Yeah, I mean, they
have some program hood Bass is oneof them, but everybody doesn't qualify under
that program. So those that don't, you know, where does that leave
(17:47):
them? You know? And someveterans just don't want the responsibility or owning
a home. Yeah, I mean, you know, they have other challenges
and issues that they are dealing with, you know, co occurring disorders and
stuff and um, just just alot of things. I mean, I've
(18:07):
heard several veterans say, hey,I don't I don't want a house.
I want to responsibility of a home, And I get it. It's stressful
trying to get right. I understand. Yeah, okay. So so when
you do have a person, likeif you do come up to a person
who has that mindset like, hey, I don't want to own a home,
will your program Astley said, Hey, you know, we can help
(18:30):
you, you know, least outof apartment or try to put you into
something where you feel comfortable handling.Um, I would they will be a
set program for them, say,my main focus is ones that are battling
like mental health disorders and cocurring youknow, diseases like you know UM or
(18:52):
just substance abuse issues where you knowthey it's it's kind of going to be
like a one stop shop. Iwant to have nurses on staff. I
want to have you know, medicalproviders and you know, other therapists because
I am an associate professional counselor aswell, so I want other professionals like
that in there. I kind ofwanted to be a safe space for them
(19:17):
because I was actually reading a reviewingan article today in reference to military sexual
trauma when ladies are faced or experiencingthat they have to go in these facilities
where men are located. And no, I'm not saying, you know,
men are the perpetrator every time,but for the most part they are.
(19:41):
So now you have this woman goinginto this facility with all these men,
and she's not gonna want to comeback, right and not feel comfortable or
anything. Right, Yeah, AndI've experienced that myself, you know,
not not sexual trauma, but wellnot military sexual trauma. Let me take
that back, but I know whatit feels like. They're going to va
(20:04):
and you know, being cat called. That is that's one to me.
So I can only have back toand that's been traumatizing military sexually. I
know, I cannot. I can'timagine because I'm thinking because I'm not sure
if you know, but I'm fromColumbus, Georgia, which it's kind of
it's on the west side of Georgia, so it's kind of close to the
(20:26):
west side of Alabama and um inour in our actual county, like for
instance, if you go to WonderCourt, so whatever, they actually have
like people who are like actually inthe jail like right now, working around
the courthouse and um, and Iremember growing up being so uncomfortable going there
because like they will be like ina parking lot, like in a parking
(20:48):
deck, me and them, andI'm like and they're trying to talk to
me, and I'm like, ohmy god, oh my god, like
someone right, I'm gonna get me. So I can only imagine how a
lady, you know, someone wouldfeel who's been traumatized by something like that.
And then you're trying to come inand get services and you still gotta,
you know, go through all that. It's just it's scary and it
needs to definitely need people out thereto help them sell. Yeah gosh,
(21:12):
I'm getting off flustered now thinking aboutit. Child. Ye So yeah,
okay, So that's definitely the planthat you want to be on. So
as far as you're for silty,where would you like to open it up
at? Will it be like somewherethat's narrow military base? So will it
be in like in a large city. I would love to have a facility
(21:33):
in a rural area, but I'mnot quite sure how that will workout for
me, And only because at thatpoint in wural areas you have. And
I'm from a very small town andby the way, I live in the
city, Alabama. But uh yeah, girl, my sister session staying on
(21:56):
smell station child. I just Ijust actually went to a house last weekend.
I was like, great, sayI think that got a jack a
jack in a box or something onI want to say, that's a yeah,
yeah, I was a girl.Okay, Okay, She's like had
it. I'm like whatever, y'alljust got this like three months ago.
Shut up, they did. Theyjust got it. Okay. So yeah,
(22:18):
so you want to be in arural area, but um, but
you said it might be a kindof hard to get to that. I
guess to be in a rural area, right. And my and my thing
is, you know already for somepeople, they have limited access to services,
um. And I can use mydad as an example. My dad
(22:41):
as a retiree UM and he hasto drive like almost two hours to go
to his VA appointments. So justimagine the people that lives in that same
area where he is that does notdrive and don't own a car. Right.
So there's the reason why I kindof want to put it in a
(23:02):
rural area. But I also Iam not sure if my services are going
to be utilized to his capacity becauseI am in a rule. Yeah,
seriously saying yeah, because I wantto say, like the people. Um,
because my brother in law he actuallyloves to Finished City too, just
so random and um, and hefor his VA appointments, I want to
(23:26):
say, he had to drive toTuskegee in order to go. Yeah,
And it's just like, you know, and I was thinking, what if
someone who, like you said,who cannot drive like that should not be
the closest place they would have togo to. So it's just especially when
they have places available in Columbus,right, And that's just crazy that I
want. I just wish someone wouldYeah, definitely with the girl. I
(23:48):
just wish they will put more effortinto these type of services because it's not
like just you know, every otherperson is just complaining. Everybody complaining,
you know. So yeah, yeah, and they have shuttles. Okay,
granted you have a shuttle, butit's a shuttle gonna come to my house.
No. The shuttles go to theother you know, facilities and pick
(24:10):
up people and take them certain places. So if I live out in Harris
County. He's a shuttle gonna comepick me up. No, it's not.
So I have to figure out away to get to Myskogee County on
thirteenth Street, so the shuttle cantake me to my appointment, right right,
And you know the VA they're gonnasay, oh, well, we
(24:30):
provide shuttles, and it's like justright like that gonna make no, you
provide shuttles at your location, likeI can't get there right? Oh my
god? Right? Okay, yeahgirl. We could talk all day about
that, but um so yeah,so we're gonna go ahead and wrap it
up because I know it's late forme and you and you know it's it's
(24:51):
a Thursday night, y'all. Totell people my bedtime at a cool ten
o'clock on during the weekday. Soall right, so people, all right,
so we're gonna go ahead and getout into our hot seat. Question
rounds. So it's five random questionsthat I came up with, and then
all I ask is that you answerthem, you know, from what however
you want to answer them from thetop of your head, So would you
(25:12):
like to play sure? All right, So question number one, if you
want a million dollars today. Whatwould be the first thing you'll buy?
A house? A house? Okay, all right? How much would you
spend on your house? Threety?Okay, that's cool that you sound like
(25:37):
me, because everyone's like, oh, you want to get like an eight
hundred dollars. I'm like, no, I just need me a good little
house with about four bedrooms, youknow, split love or whatever. The
kids are comfortable and I'm good,so I think I could do that for
about a you know, about threefifty, that's all right. Question number
two, Name three things you loveabout yourself My personality, my tenacity,
(26:03):
and my sarcasm. I love itall who girl? I love a person
who got who has good scarcas ahoney, because everybody don't get no jokes
right. They were like, man, I'm like this ship was funny,
Like what are you talking about?Like? I don't all right? Question
number three. If you were beingrobbed and could get out of it by
(26:23):
wrapping or singing it one song perfectly, what song would it be? Uh?
Tuplock song you don't want to ifwith me? You yeah, okay,
okay, my song would be andI it this is so funny.
I don't know why I know thissong like Verbata but um not project Path
(26:47):
but three siss mafia slab on theknob. I can tell I could see
every single line like it's nothing.I mean I could be like I ask
drunk, I still seeing this songperfectly, and I'm like, yo,
the Robert probably just gonna leave methere, child because he's gonna like this
girl just souns slop on my knob. Seriously, Yeah, that would be
my song. All right. Questionquestion number four, Yes, all right?
(27:11):
Question number four, what is thelast book you read? M M,
that's bad. I haven't read anybooks. I've been researching articles because
I'm supposa say you've been studying,so you get a pass. Yeah,
alright. And last question, ifyou could trade places with with one person
(27:33):
for a day, who would itbe? Gabrielle? Un you really he's
so I want her? Man?No, I was a man. I
don't you like the way girlmen lovewith that boy? Yes, oh my
god, like you've been lotting himfor a while, like back in the
(27:56):
day, like he just he wassuper found he first came on the scene.
Now that he kind of like setin his ways, I'm just like,
okay, I'm gonna how to takeyou as you are, like you
still find but you get a kindon me now baby, like I don't
know he is he is? Ohmy gosh. All right, well,
thank you so much for being onthe show. I really appreciate it.
(28:18):
And if people want to follow yourjourney on social media, how can you
be reached philosophizing Underscore doctor d RUncore n E l I and that's my
I g handle. Okay, cool, but thank you so much for being
on the show. Say by tothe people, Thank you by, PA,
(28:42):
have a good one. All right. All right, guys, that
is it for us. We hopeyou enjoyed the show. If you'd like
to get into some more fun,follow us on social media on Instagram we
are at at Bad and Bougeon Moms, on Facebook look at deep at and
Boujie Moms, and also on Twitterat BBM. Underscore Podcast. May share
(29:07):
you like, share in comment onany other podcast platforms that you listen to
us on. Again, we hopeyou guys enjoy See you later.
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