November 26, 2023 • 46 mins
"Harriet the Spy," chapters 14-15 (it's a twofer!). Harriet sees a shrink, takes a forced sabbatical, and gets a major dissing from besties Janie and Sport. On a brighter note, she receives a much-needed letter from beloved Ole Golly and returns to class with a vengeance – much to Marion Hawthorne's dismay. Join Alison and Jody as they near the end of this 1964 instant classic, written by Louise Fitzhugh. And giant thank you to Blume Head Bex for her authority on ASBOs! It's a (sometimes) Judy Blume book club. Join us (almost) every week!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:15):
Hi, am Jodie and I'm Alisonand you're listening to the Bloom Saloon.
It's a Judy Bloom book club.Yes it is. We're reading two chapters
today. Can you believe it?Look at us zooming along. Yeah,
we can do it. We canzoom, we can zoom Chapters fourteen and
fifteen. Remember when before the pandemic, zoom just meant zoom? That's true.
(00:38):
Do we ever say zoom just tosay zoom anymore? Do you think
Mazda had to change their tagline?I was just thinking of zoom, zoom,
zoom. Yeah they had to.But now we're just zooming all day?
Are you still doing lots of zooms? Zoo are still as popular as
(01:00):
it was? Yeah? I stilldo a lot of zooms because we work
from home Monday Friday. But alsomost of our clients are all over the
place. That's right. They don'tactually want to meet, and I still
meet with clients a lot. MSo, what were you doing before zoom?
We skype? M h we skyped, or there's WebEx or do you
(01:26):
remember conference calls? I was justgonna say, the little black device that
you'd put in the middle of thetable and no one knew how to work
it. They're like, what andyou have to announce yourself and your hair
marry yeah, can you call it? Alison Michael. Allison Michael has joined
the meeting. Somebody recently was talkingabout how outdated Skype already feels and how
(01:47):
that boo boo boo you know thatring, that Skype ring. It's joined
the ranks of You've got mail andlike total life, totally totally. I
was, actually, have have youwatched the Supermodels documentary on Apple TV yet?
No? It's so good. It'sfascinating and I could really like watch
(02:08):
it on mute. They're so freakingbeautiful in all the nineties nostalgia is so
fun. But I remember when backin the day when we worked together,
I had a conference call at sixin the morning with Christy Turlington is her
charity. Yeah, but she's youknow, one of the Big Four and
(02:29):
the Supermodels documentary, so it's sofunny to like watch her and be like,
yeah, I had a conference callwith her. I met her once.
She's so freaking beautiful, I know, but it did. It took
me back to like having a conferencecall like in my bathroom because it was
so early, I didn't want towake anyone else up. I remember,
(02:52):
I do remember that. What atime? What a time? Well,
Hi guys, we are here totalk about Harriet the Spy chapters fourteen and
fifteen. Two chapters were zooming alone, zooming along. We do have some
Bloomhead intel that I love to sharebefore we get into everything. So bloomhead
(03:17):
BECs in England always has some goodstuff to say. And do you remember
last episode we talked about ASBOs?Yeah, yeah, my dad loved talking
about ASBOs. Well, turns outhe was using the word in his own
special way. Oh, Becks reallyset us straight. Here Hello, listening
(03:43):
to the latest episodes and a noteabout ASBOs. So, ASBOs were introduced
when I was in primary school andmy best mate was desperate to be the
first kid in our school to getone. So it turns out it's like
a summons, or not a summons, but like a a designation. Right.
Oh, so this is when theyall turned ten. She wanted to
(04:05):
get an asbo. I was scandalizedby her cavalier attitude, mostly because I
was a dweeb. I don't thinkI knew anyone who ended up with an
asbo. Until my mid teens.By then, even I wanted one.
They were cool as fuck, butthat's mostly likely because I grew up in
a working class town during the peakera of Chavs supremacy anyway, so they
(04:29):
were replaced with CBOs for the youth, which means criminal behavior orders. Think
in the twenty tens, CBOs arebaso the same thing, but they are
not as cool because they're not marketedthe same. Like, I'm a borderline
scumbag and I didn't know they existeduntil twenty eighteen when I started working in
local government. Within the first monthin local government, I am delivering CBOs
(04:53):
like I am going on my billto people's houses to hand these kids in
parents' CBO letters. I means you'rea troublemaker. Yes, okay, the
letters were issued by the police,but I had to hand deliver them.
You never knew the reaction you'd get. I'm five two and pathetic and have
no interest in law enforcement. Notfor me, tbh, most people don't
(05:16):
give a shit. But still akem. Yeah, I still kind of
want an ASBO though, although Ihave no interest in obtaining or handing out
CBO letters. Love and other indoorsports, Boomhead beecs. So I wrote
back and I was like, okay, so question here. My dad used
to describe people as ASBOs, likeoh, that Nigel is really an asbo.
(05:41):
And I was like, was thatjust a thing my dad said or
did other people say that? Andshe said she's never heard it us as
an adjective, but that might begenerational or location based. Got to ask
your mom. Yeah, I doneed to ask my mom. And then
we talked about all the weird wordsour dad said. And then I did
(06:03):
some googling, uh to see ifI could get becks and asbo certificate and
it turns out you can. Youcan order one online that's like customized with
people's names, and the one Ifound and screenshotted is it's got like an
official looking seal at the top.It says asbo Anti social Behavior order you
(06:28):
the recipient. You fill out yourname and the blank here for the offense
of extreme body odor. Oh mygod, this is so good. We
should make custom bloomhead ones Bloomhead ASBOs, Bloomhead ASBOs like a c we could
sell on my let's see. Andthen it has restrictions imposed. Number one
open doors and windows when entering aroom. To prevent a poisonous build up
(06:51):
of your odor. Two, doublethe number of showers you take, maybe
even up to two a month.Three Uh, invest in a change of
clothes so you can personally wash thisset you've worn for the past year.
For don't move too quickly to preventexcessive sweating. Five buy some deodorant.
(07:15):
So that's fun. It's really fun. It's like too fun. Thanks Becks
for all the info I was.I was a little off the mark,
but you know it's my dad's fault. No, I mean, I love
it. I love it all theways. But Harriet's still in asma right
(07:53):
me chandling my inner horse. Itis so good. We've got our girl
Hairrriett are Asbo Harriet and her parentswho are also if you ask me,
as Bo's. And there's memories ofold Golly the Cook. We've got her
(08:15):
old best friends Sport and Jane,some of the other kids in the Anti
Harriet club, Rachel Hennessy, CarrieAndrews, Marion Hawthorne, Beth Ellen,
Pinky Whitehead, Laura Peters, theboy with the now green socks, Miss
Elson. We've got missus Whitehead,who is the principal of the school,
(08:39):
doctor Wagner, who's a new character, Little Joe Curry, Mama de Santi
and mister Desanti and their children FabioBruno, Franca Dino. I love them,
Missus Plummer, the Robinsons, andHarrison with I got in the mail
(09:03):
this week. By the way,speaking of the Robinson's My Marisol book.
Oh yay. It's a big,beautiful art book from the Buffalo Museum and
it's gorgeous and there's a lot ofpictures of that little baby, that big
baby, that big baby. ButI just I adore her and I love
(09:28):
it, and I'm so happy tohave found her through this book. I'm
so happy you found your muse.I know truly, She's like everything I've
always wanted. All right, Chapterfourteen, Let's remember this is the day
after the big shoe throwing incident whenHarriet threw her shoe at her dad in
(09:56):
her doorway, and I still can'tbelieve it. So it's the morning after
the beast has arisen. There's awhole back and forth battle of wills with
her parents at breakfast. They're like, go put your clothes on, and
she's like no, but she doesit. And then they say, go
watch yourself. No, dad threatensviolence. He says she's going to get
(10:20):
a wailing. She'll never forget andshe won't be able to sit down for
a week. Oh my god.This was the sixties. A lot of
spanking and smacking going on still backthen. No, a lot of mom
grips of the arm, mom grips. Did you ever get mom grips?
Oh? I got a lot ofmom grips. And I've explained it to
(10:43):
Poe, and Poe is like obsessedwith it because they never actually get it.
They like me to like pretend I'mgoing to do a mom grip.
But my sister classically collapsed in aparking lot after a mom grew up and
told my mom, what are youtrying to do? Kill your own kid?
(11:05):
That is classic. That is classic. It wasn't uncommon to tell your
parents that you were gonna claim childabuse. Yeah, you broke every bone
in my body? Yeah yeah.And so I remember being spanked. It
was never like it never hurt,you know. But my mom swears that
(11:28):
I never got spanked. And Iwas like, how do I remember this?
And she said, well, yourdad would threaten to spank you so
you just like imagined it. Butyeah, so did I make that up?
I have a lot of trouble trustingin my dem but the amount I
was spanked is questionable. Who knows, Like maybe it was only once or
twice, but in my mind itwas like all the time. Right.
(11:50):
See, that's what I think isgoing on here. I think my mom
and I are both a little offbecause she has a pretty bad memory.
Sorry Mom, if you're listening,but you know, you do you know
it wasn't unusual back then? Yeah, really not. So. Finally they're
back at the kitchen table. Harryactually has some clothes on and she's not
(12:11):
stinky, and mom and dad tellher they want to have a capital T
talk. Oh buddy. They informher she's going to go see a doctor,
and she is sad that it isn'tgoing to be doctor Andrews, Carrie's
dad, because she was hoping tomake up some kind of mean rumors to
tell doctor Andrews about Carrie. Likeshe's still talk shit, Yeah, she
(12:37):
is still like she has not learnedmean lessons from any of this. No,
But then she's like, well maybesince it's not going to be Carrie's
dad, maybe I can just tellCarrie that my dad thinks her dad is
a fink and that'll be enough toget her like, okay, great days,
(12:58):
your dad's a fank. And thenit's time for the appointment, like
suddenly we're going to the doctor.I love the details about the cars because
I just need to know where theypark. Mom goes to get the car
from its mystery parking spot and Daddrives, so they switch and he is
(13:20):
pissed because they can't find any streetparking, so they have to use a
garage. It's just a the carswere so much longer back then. I
know, how did you park anywhere? Yeah? And then b like what
was the like cultural tide of parking, you know, like in a city,
(13:41):
because here it's just the bane ofeverybody's day. And I wonder if
it was that bad back then becausewe're like less people were driving. It's
a good question. I do lovethat scene in the New Margaret movie where
she's getting picked up at camp andMom's got a car and she's like double
parked in the middle of that tinyroad. I do not even remember that.
(14:03):
Yeah, as they're like loading upher trunk there and it's Grandma Sylvia
and Mom, and it did makeme think a lot about like man parking
in New York City. Yeah,really, Yeah, must have been tough.
Yeah, I've never driven in acar in New York City, Like
I've only ever taken the subway orlike caps, but like not a car.
(14:26):
I've never known anyone with a car. Yeah, I don't think I
have either. Actually, m NewYork City people tell us about your parking.
I'm obsessed with street cleaning in NewYork. I've seen the videos of
how people will like move out ofthe spot and then sit there and wait
for the street cleaner to like cleantheir spot, and then they like go
repark. They just like reverse backinto their spot, and the whole block
(14:48):
is doing this at the same time. It's so it's just like a delicate
ballet. It's so interesting. I'veheard of people having parking, like in
Brooklyn, having cars. My cousin'sdrive in Brooklyn. Yeah, it's like
Long Island and stuff. But Idon't think they really do it in Manhattan.
Mm hmmmmmm. It's pretty interesting.So they go up in elevator to
(15:15):
meet doctor Wagner. He had brightred hair that stood straight up behind a
bald crown, an enormous mouth,grinning with yellow teeth, funny glasses with
big black rims. And he wasvery very tall, so tall that he
bent over a little. He also, she noticed, had very strange nose
(15:37):
and very long feet. So manypeople in this book have long feet.
Have you noticed that? Yeah?Yeah, which it's just an odd thing
to notice. But maybe it's theshoes. Maybe they're all wearing like of
the era, like little like Oxford. You know. I feel like I
only notice people's long feet when theywear Oxfords. But also I just never
(16:00):
think of feet as long. Ijust think, oh, you have a
big feet. M yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like if they're
long, they have to be likeskinny, maybe long toes hmmm mm mmmmm.
Okay. The office was large,with a sky blue rug a couch
and for some reason, a spinetHarriet stood stock still in the middle of
(16:22):
the room as doctor Wagner sat downin one of the two huge armchairs,
and a spine. For those whodon't know, I didn't know. Is
kind of like a piano thing.It's like an old fashioned small piano.
Oh. Interesting, that looks likea piano, but the inner workings are
a little different and it's harder toplay, and it is an interesting piece
(16:47):
to have in your in your psychiatryoffice. Yeah, that's wild. I
like, I like maybe play bass? Oh maybe so? Uh huh yes.
Harriet and doctor Wagner stare at eachother. Well, well, what
well what do we do? Now? You can do anything you'd like?
(17:12):
Can I leave? Do you wantto? Well? What am I supposed
to do? Well, let's seewe could play a game? Do you
like games? Harriet thinks this isthe dumbest thing she's ever heard of,
(17:32):
Like, why would I come hereto play? Does mom know this is
going on? Like? What's thematter with this guy? But then she's
like, I guess, I justI guess I gotta do this. Yeah,
I like games? All right?What kind of games? Any old
game? You're the one that wantedto play a game? Do you play
(17:56):
chess? No? Well, howabout Monopoly? Okay if you want to?
So he opens up this cabinet andit's full of games, dolls,
dollhouses, and trucks. Sounds amazing. Harriet's like, do you sit here
all day playing with those things?What do you think? What do you
(18:22):
mean? What do I think?Do you think, I sit here all
day playing with these toys. Howdo I know you got a whole closet
full of them? Don't you havetoys at home? Yes? But I'm
eleven. Oh? Well, shallwe play one game? So he sets
(18:47):
up the board and then goes tohis desk and pulls out a notebook and
a pen. Notebook. What's that? She knows what? People could write?
A notebook? A notebook? Iknow that. I just take a
(19:07):
few notes now and then you don'tmind. It depends on what they are.
What do you mean? Are theymean nasty notes or just ordinary notes?
Why? Well, I just thoughti'd warn you nasty ones are pretty
hard to get by with these dates. Oh I see what you mean.
(19:30):
Thank you for the advice. No, they're quite ordinary notes. Nobody ever
takes it away from you. Ibet do they? What do you mean?
Nothing? Let's play? So theyplay a game. Harriet wins.
She's so bored though. There's alot of note taking on doctor Wagner's end,
(19:53):
and she says, I bet ifyou didn't take so many notes,
you'd play better. Do you thinkso? God, he's so stupid.
He answers every question with a question. Ah, They play another game.
He takes less notes and wins.You see, taking notes all the time
(20:15):
makes you no good. Why don'tyou just put that notebook away someplace?
Suppose I give you a notebook,then we'll each have one and will be
fairly matched. Hmmm, interesting.Okay, do you have another one?
(20:37):
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do so. He brings her
notebook with's a notebook with a brightblue cover. Harriet's trying so hard to
be chill, you know, herlittle heart's pounding with excitement. But she's
like, you can write nasty notes, and she writes funniest notes I have
(21:00):
ever seen. Runs right down themiddle of his face like a snake.
He reminds me somewhat of Pinky whiteHead, but he's not as repulsive.
He has red hair and funny teeth. They're sort of yellow and long.
His office smells of cigars and chalk. I bet he plays with those toys.
After everyone leaves. She's writing andwriting and losing track of time,
(21:22):
and suddenly doctor Wagner is saying softlyto her, Harriet, Harry, it's
time to go, and she realizesshe doesn't want to leave. She can't
leave here. She thinks he's notso bad after all, he's just a
little batty. And then as soonas she walks out the door, Harriet's
(21:44):
mom takes her notebook away, andHarriet feels empty right back. Very interesting
kind of reverse psychology. Maybe,you know, I thought I would consult
my sister her on this. Sheis a therapist that works with children and
does a lot of play therapy andworks with a lot of really Harriet like
(22:11):
stubborn kids in the same age group. So maybe we can get her on
for a special repport. I wouldlove that. I've got questions me too,
me too. Harriet can't do anythingwithout a notebook. She realizes she
can't even play town, so shethinks maybe she'll go see Sport and Janey
(22:36):
to see if they're sick and tiredof being mad at her. I feel
like this is very brave. Ican't believe she's doing this. I would
never ah. She's just kind oflike, yeah, they've got to be
you know, they gotta have movedon by now, right. I do
feel like doctor Wagner really works somemagic. Maybe that's like some subliminal mind
(22:57):
games. Maybe the spinet, likeI think so playing something about the questions
like, actually, who's ever askingHarriet anything that's true? That's true?
So when she gets to Janie's lab, she kind of goes up the backstairs.
Janie doesn't realize she's there. Janegets so startled when she sees Harriet.
(23:19):
She's like, what the hell areyou doing here? She drops a
test tube of like this scary brownstuff and it goes all over the wood
floor and then it's like burning thewood, eating it away some kind of
acid I don't know, some likeflesh eating bacteria, terrifying. Janie's like,
(23:41):
look what you made me do?And she just mops furiously and she
ignores Harriet. She's like smiling hercreepy smile, which we all know means
she's pissed. Harriet says it wasone of the worst feelings she had ever
had, being treated like she wasn'tthere. She tries to talk, you
(24:02):
know, she makes a suggestion aboutrolling the rug over the wood to hide
it, but Janie is not ina forgiving mood. She's like, fuck
off, you've done it off already, and they just stare at each other.
They have an old fashioned stare off. Harriet gives up. She walks
out. She's afraid she might cry, like, well, that didn't work.
(24:26):
She wonders if she should even trysports House. So she goes to
a park bench and she has alittle cry, and she tries to think
up a good idea how to approachall this, but she realizes she just
has to do it. It's nowor never. She's got to go see
her best friend and if she's reallyalone in this world, she might as
(24:48):
well know it, which I thoughtwas very again, like brave, you
know, like we don't want toconfront uncomfortable truths. And she just realizes
it's she's got to rip off thisband aid. Yeah, So she goes
over to sports House. She canhear noises inside. It sounds very happy
(25:12):
in there. There's laughter and giggling, which is very unusual. She realizes
it's Sport and his dad like celebratingabout something. When Sport opens the door
and sees it's Harriet, he's notso happy anymore. But Dad, however,
is running around the room. He'sjumping on furniture, being a wild
(25:33):
man. This vision, right,it's very Jimmy Fargo's dad. I don't
know. They remind me of eachother. So much high Sport. Hello,
Harriet, sports Bad is in thebackground on the phone. He's just
like jabbering away, waving his hand, and there's a check in his hand.
(25:56):
They took it. They took it. It's coming out in a Hey.
How about that? He sold thebook? Yeah, he just got
a check. Hey's sport. Igotta talk to you. How about that?
Sports Dad picks him up right onhis shoulders. Wow, wow,
(26:18):
wow, And he twirls Sport aroundlike a tennis racket, Like, how
does that work? Yeah, justkind of swinging him by one arm,
hurtling him. Man wearing business shoesand a real suit for you and steak
every night every night, Old Sport. Hi, there, Harriet, I
(26:41):
didn't see you. What do youthink of this? I made a baby.
They're giving me money. It's great. She looks at sports Dad and
realize he's nice. He's a nicelooking man. She actually doesn't have anything
bad to say about long feet oryellow teeth or anything like that. I
mean, he's got an old sweaterwith holes in it, and like an
(27:03):
old pair of pants and worn outsneakers, and sometimes he's gloomy, but
right now he's a nice man andShe's like, oh my god, he's
a writer, a real writer.What does it feel like to get paid
for what you write? It's heaven, baby's sheit heaven. Hey, listen,
Sport, get a clean shirt on. I'm taking you out to dinner.
(27:26):
How about you, Harriet? Youwant to go to dinner with us?
No? Whoa if I know,my boy, he's trying to get
me not to spend that check already. Uh, I have to go home
anyway. I was going to say, I have to go home. I
couldn't go out with you anyway.I couldn't go with you anyway, She
(27:47):
screams towards sports Dore. What ascene, Such a scene. Harriet is
dejected. She goes home, hasanother nightmare that night. Old Golly's in
it again, and she's sitting ina rocking chair in a yellow bathrobe,
rocking Harry on her lap. Harriet'skind of sleep yelling like oh golly,
(28:11):
old golly, ol golly, oldgolly, old golly and crying and sobbing
malls her and Harriet realizes where sheis. She wakes up a little more
and then turns to the wall topretend she's asleep. She doesn't really want
to be comforted. It sounds likemom leaves and she continues to cry herself
(28:33):
to sleep, And just like that, between chapters fourteen and fifteen, we're
(28:56):
in book three. Three of three, right, three of three acts three
changes afoot, we're gonna maybe geta resolution. So Harriet wakes up the
next morning very late. It's abouttwelve pm. She finds out she doesn't
(29:19):
have to go to school that day. Her parents are making her go.
She can't really find them, butshe finally does and they're in the library
talking about her. She kind ofputs her ear up to the door and
rubb her Next it's her dad onthe phone. Well, doctor Wagner,
let me ask you this. Yes, yes, I know she's a very
(29:44):
intelligent child. Yes, well,we're well aware that she has a lot
of curiosity. Yes, a signof intelligence. Yes, quite right,
I would say so. Now,doctor, the thing is, yes,
(30:06):
I think she just might make awriter. What a project? Oh school,
Yes, I think yes, we'llcall the principle a few days absence.
Well, I think that can bearranged. But you're sure, absolutely
(30:26):
sure? She's all right? Yes, yes, exceptional? Yes, well
I think we all know that.Oh yes, well, as I explained,
she left. But you think,yes, I think we have our
address somewhere. Do you think that'dbe a good idea? I see,
(30:51):
yes, I see. Yes.Well, thank you very much, doctor,
you've been a great deal of help. Yes, I understand. I
agree with you. She always listenedto her. Yes, a regression,
Yes, one more thing, doctor, you're sure quite Thank you again,
(31:12):
goodbye. Harriet's freaking out. God, what a convo you think they're talking
about? Old Golly, that there'sperhaps a regression when she left, the
only mother Harriet had never known.Who would have thought we could have I
mean, we could have diagnosed that. She hears a bunch of mumbling.
She's kind of pissed this. Shecan't make it all out. She hears
(31:33):
her parents, you know, talkingto each other. But then her mom
pops out the door and finds her. She lets her know she won't be
going to school that day, andthis is going to turn into a few
days. So Harriet's trying to findthings to do with her time. She
(31:53):
decides to pick up her ole spyroot Little Joe Curry got his job back
from Mama to Santi, but thenshe catches him again. While simultaneously endearing
himself to mama because guess what he'sdoing. He's feeding a ham to hungry
(32:16):
children. I mean, how canyou say no to that? Harriet writes
in her notebook that was a sceneI'm glad I saw, because I would
have guessed that Mamma to Santi wouldhave bumped him over the head. But
when she saw the children, sheburst into tears and commenced wailing and giving
the kids everything in site, evena whole long salami. And when she
(32:38):
showed them away and told them notto come back or she'd call the cops.
People are funny. She didn't firelittle Joe. She told him he'd
better see a doctor because he eatstoo much tapeworm. Missus Plumber was told
she could leave the bed, andthen she proceeded to party for days,
(33:01):
literal days. The Robinson's had alot of people over to show off their
big baby and Harrison Withers, whoI realized h w Harriet, Well,
she's a little bit of a proxyfor har WHOA, you are so smart.
I think she sees herself in him. Seems happier and he's better fed,
(33:25):
and he has himself a new baby. Little kitten. That's a little
tuxedo kitten. All of this,you know, seeing the whole gang up
to their old shenanigans but also seeminghappy, makes Harriet happy. She finds
happiness, can you believe it?And by day three Harriet actually missed school,
(33:53):
so that afternoon she goes to spyon the clubhouse and she finds Marion
Hawthorne to convince Rachel to play bridgeor mageen. This part is so funny
to me, It's so funny.So then Marion tries to tell Rachel and
(34:14):
beth Ellen that the club needs higherstandards, that it needs to be a
little bit more like a country club, and also maybe she should be president
of the club and they should drinkfrom teacups even if they don't like tea,
but that they should sit at atable and chairs. It should be
(34:36):
a little, you know, swankier. And also maybe it's time to kick
some people out with a bad attitude, like Sport and Jane. But then
it starts to rain a bit andHarriet runs home. She can't believe what
she just heard. She writes MarionHawthorne is too big for her bridges,
(34:59):
and she he's gonna get it Whenshe gets home, the doorbell rings.
Mom walks upstairs with a special deliveryfor Harriet. Harriet tears it open.
She recognized the handwriting at once.Dear Harriet, I have been thinking about
(35:22):
you, and I've decided that ifyou are ever going to be a writer,
it is time for you to getcracker. You are eleven years old
and haven't written a thing but notes. Make a story out of some of
those notes and send it to Beautyis truth, truth, beauty. That
is all you know on earth andall you need to know, John Keats.
(35:46):
Don't you ever forget it? Now? In case you ever run into
the following problem, I want totell you of nt you put down the
truth in your notebooks? What wouldbe the point if you did it?
Truly, those notebooks should not beread by anyone else, But if they
are, then herod. You aregoing to have to do two things,
(36:09):
and you don't like either of them. One you have to apologize. Two
you have to lie, otherwise you'regoing to lose a friend. Little eyes
that make people feel better are notbad, like thanking someone for a meal
they made even if you hated it, or telling a sick person they look
(36:31):
better when you don't or someone witha hideous you have that it's lovely.
Remember that writing is to put lovein the world, not to use against
your friends, but to yourself.You must always tell the truth. Another
thing, if you're missing me,I want you to know I'm not missing
you. Gone is gone. Inever miss anything or anyone because it all
(36:54):
becomes a lovely memory. I guardmy memories and I love them, but
I don't get in them and liedown. You can even make stories from
yours, but remember they don't comeback. Just think how awful would be
if they did. You don't needme. No, you're eleven years old,
which is old enough to get busyat growing up, to be the
(37:15):
person you want to be. Nomore nonsense, Old golly balbinst this letter
tough love, so much tough love. But I think it's just what Harriet
needs. She finishes reading with agiant grin on her face. Oh so
(37:36):
she heads downstairs immediately to grab atypewriter, and she starts typing furiously.
And the next day Harriet just marchesherself back to school. She just decides
she's going no more nonsense. She'slate, of course, as to make
an entrance. She says, enoughis enough, it's time to rise.
(38:00):
Wait till the New Yorker gets aload of that story. It was hard
making up him finding the cat,But I think I made up a good
moral. That is, some peopleare one way and some people or another.
And that's that she must have beenwriting about, Harrison Withers. As
she gets to school, the doorof the principal's office opens and her parents
walk out, and she kind ofducks in a little nook. They walk
(38:22):
past her, kind of giggling.Her dad says, boy, wait till
she hears that. Her mother saysshe'll be I'm afraid impossible to live with.
Mister Welsh says, you know what, I bet she'll do a good
job. What is going? Whatis happening? She goes to her class
(38:46):
and Miss Elson walks in, gladto see that you're back with us,
Harriet. She smiles sweetly, nicelyin Harriet's direction. Harrett kind of tries
to smile, but she doesn't kindof know how. She says, I'm
particularly glad because I have a specialannouncement to make about a change in school
(39:10):
policy. You are aware that wehave always let you reflect your class officer,
and that the class officer has alwaysautomatically been the editor of the sixth
grade page. However, we havedecided that it's too much work for one
person. Marion Hawthorne remembers she's thepresident, she gasps. Have therefore decided
(39:37):
that here and after the teacher willselect someone else to be editor. We
have made this choice on the basisof ability, and looking over all the
compositions handed in by the class,Miss White and I have decided that several
of you have a flair for writing, and that these few should take turns
(40:00):
editorship. The selection has been made, and the editor from now on for
this half year will be Harriet.Well, oh my god, you could
have heard a pin drop, justsilence, silence in the room. Harriet
(40:22):
has been chosen for the first halfthe kid and beth Ellen for the second.
That means Harriet will write the pagefor this semester and beth Ellen next
semester. So the editor writes thewhole paper. It's the page. It's
like a page in the book.I don't know, it's like it's like
(40:46):
maybe each class has a page.Gotcha, I thought the paper was called
the page. But that makes sense. Beth Ellen turns bright red. She
can't believe it, but Marion Hawthorneis not happy. She jumps to her
feet. Miss Nelson, I wantto register a protest with the school on
(41:10):
behalf of a group which I happento be president of, and which,
by general agreement, has decided thatthis decision is unfair to the class,
the great majority of which belong ofwhich Marion miss Helson correxort ooh, to
this club of which I am president. Now, therefore, Miss Elson's like,
(41:32):
that's enough, sit down, madeyourself clear. I'd like to know
when you have had time, however, to amass this great tide of public
opinion. I didn't see you askinganyone after I spoke oo this battle of
wits. I love it, shesays. I think, therefore, just
(41:54):
to enlighten you as to the opinionsof your following, and for no other
reason, that we should take avote. I want to make it perfectly
clear that the only thing this votewill lisit is a talk with Miss Whitefrind.
I doubt very seriously that it isat all possible to change the decision.
(42:14):
I am sure it's too late,but I do think we might make
this an interesting experiment. In termsof democracy. It has long been my
opinion that one never knows the outcomeof a vote, no matter how sure
we think we are. Marion seemsterribly sure. I think we should see
(42:35):
Therefore, now I want to raisea hands on how many want Harriet and
Beth Allen to take over for thisyear. Marian's just like sitting on her
hands. She's like, oh,hell no, would I ever a vote
for this? And Rachel does thesame. Harriet and Beth Allen naturally vot
(43:00):
for themselves. Their arms fly up, and then surprisingly sports hand goes up
Lord Peter's Pinky white Heads, theboy of the Green Sox. They don't
go up. Harriet's worried Carrie Andrewsis absent, But then, very slowly
(43:22):
and almost a creepy way, PinkyWhitehead's hand does go up. Well,
Harry thinks never thought he'd save herlife. Look at him, go yeah,
and he looks back at her.She gives him a radiant smile that
(43:45):
Miss Elson says. Decides that that'sjust enough votes, It's just what they
need. Since I think we canlearn from this, children, and particularly
Marian, not to count your eggsbefore they vote for you. Beth Ellen
giggles. She looks around, suddenlyaware of her responsibilities. And that's the
(44:10):
end of the chapter. Tie Atide has changed. People are on Harriet's
side again. And we have aschool newspaper. You love a school newspaper.
Moment, school newspapers. I mighthave more, isn't that random?
(44:31):
Please? Articles? The people wantit, need it, We'll need it
all right, I'll search my archives. Gee, I have a good feeling
about book three. I'm so pumpedabout about what's happening here. I love
a redemption story. Yes, andI hope that. I hope Harriet proves
(44:58):
that she deserves this. I thinkso. And I hope Marian gets what
she deserves. Also, are weever going to actually see the Thanksgiving pageant?
It's a great question when I canonly hope. I think so.
I think I think we've got to. Yeah, yeah, I need to
know how it turns out. Bloomheads. It's always so good to hear from
(45:22):
you, So be like becks.Write us. You can dm us.
You can write to us erect usat gmail dot com. You can write
us a snail mail letter. Ohyeah, we'll try to get some more
special reports going. I definitely wantto hear more about this child psychology business,
Like does does doctor Wagner know whathe's doing? It sounds like it.
(45:44):
I think he's He's already made sucha big difference, you know.
I think Harry really just needed tobe heard and seen, and she really
needed that note from old Golly,just like we need letters affamation. It's
tough be our old Golly. Andwe hope to see you in the private
(46:04):
and free Facebook group and we'll seeyou next week. We're not going to
take two weeks off again, promise. We just had to get some ducks
in a row. But we're back. Yeah, we're fine, We're good.
Fine, that's good. Love you, love you, bye bye.
Hi, am Jodie and I'm Alisonand you're listening to the Bloom Saloon.
It's a Judy Bloom book club.Yes it is. We're reading two chapters
today. Can you believe it?Look at us zooming along. Yeah,
we can do it. We canzoom, we can zoom Chapters fourteen and
fifteen. Remember when before the pandemic, zoom just meant zoom? That's true.
(00:38):
Do we ever say zoom just tosay zoom anymore? Do you think
Mazda had to change their tagline?I was just thinking of zoom, zoom,
zoom. Yeah they had to.But now we're just zooming all day?
Are you still doing lots of zooms? Zoo are still as popular as
(01:00):
it was? Yeah? I stilldo a lot of zooms because we work
from home Monday Friday. But alsomost of our clients are all over the
place. That's right. They don'tactually want to meet, and I still
meet with clients a lot. MSo, what were you doing before zoom?
We skype? M h we skyped, or there's WebEx or do you
(01:26):
remember conference calls? I was justgonna say, the little black device that
you'd put in the middle of thetable and no one knew how to work
it. They're like, what andyou have to announce yourself and your hair
marry yeah, can you call it? Alison Michael. Allison Michael has joined
the meeting. Somebody recently was talkingabout how outdated Skype already feels and how
(01:47):
that boo boo boo you know thatring, that Skype ring. It's joined
the ranks of You've got mail andlike total life, totally totally. I
was, actually, have have youwatched the Supermodels documentary on Apple TV yet?
No? It's so good. It'sfascinating and I could really like watch
(02:08):
it on mute. They're so freakingbeautiful in all the nineties nostalgia is so
fun. But I remember when backin the day when we worked together,
I had a conference call at sixin the morning with Christy Turlington is her
charity. Yeah, but she's youknow, one of the Big Four and
(02:29):
the Supermodels documentary, so it's sofunny to like watch her and be like,
yeah, I had a conference callwith her. I met her once.
She's so freaking beautiful, I know, but it did. It took
me back to like having a conferencecall like in my bathroom because it was
so early, I didn't want towake anyone else up. I remember,
(02:52):
I do remember that. What atime? What a time? Well,
Hi guys, we are here totalk about Harriet the Spy chapters fourteen and
fifteen. Two chapters were zooming alone, zooming along. We do have some
Bloomhead intel that I love to sharebefore we get into everything. So bloomhead
(03:17):
BECs in England always has some goodstuff to say. And do you remember
last episode we talked about ASBOs?Yeah, yeah, my dad loved talking
about ASBOs. Well, turns outhe was using the word in his own
special way. Oh, Becks reallyset us straight. Here Hello, listening
(03:43):
to the latest episodes and a noteabout ASBOs. So, ASBOs were introduced
when I was in primary school andmy best mate was desperate to be the
first kid in our school to getone. So it turns out it's like
a summons, or not a summons, but like a a designation. Right.
Oh, so this is when theyall turned ten. She wanted to
(04:05):
get an asbo. I was scandalizedby her cavalier attitude, mostly because I
was a dweeb. I don't thinkI knew anyone who ended up with an
asbo. Until my mid teens.By then, even I wanted one.
They were cool as fuck, butthat's mostly likely because I grew up in
a working class town during the peakera of Chavs supremacy anyway, so they
(04:29):
were replaced with CBOs for the youth, which means criminal behavior orders. Think
in the twenty tens, CBOs arebaso the same thing, but they are
not as cool because they're not marketedthe same. Like, I'm a borderline
scumbag and I didn't know they existeduntil twenty eighteen when I started working in
local government. Within the first monthin local government, I am delivering CBOs
(04:53):
like I am going on my billto people's houses to hand these kids in
parents' CBO letters. I means you'rea troublemaker. Yes, okay, the
letters were issued by the police,but I had to hand deliver them.
You never knew the reaction you'd get. I'm five two and pathetic and have
no interest in law enforcement. Notfor me, tbh, most people don't
(05:16):
give a shit. But still akem. Yeah, I still kind of
want an ASBO though, although Ihave no interest in obtaining or handing out
CBO letters. Love and other indoorsports, Boomhead beecs. So I wrote
back and I was like, okay, so question here. My dad used
to describe people as ASBOs, likeoh, that Nigel is really an asbo.
(05:41):
And I was like, was thatjust a thing my dad said or
did other people say that? Andshe said she's never heard it us as
an adjective, but that might begenerational or location based. Got to ask
your mom. Yeah, I doneed to ask my mom. And then
we talked about all the weird wordsour dad said. And then I did
(06:03):
some googling, uh to see ifI could get becks and asbo certificate and
it turns out you can. Youcan order one online that's like customized with
people's names, and the one Ifound and screenshotted is it's got like an
official looking seal at the top.It says asbo Anti social Behavior order you
(06:28):
the recipient. You fill out yourname and the blank here for the offense
of extreme body odor. Oh mygod, this is so good. We
should make custom bloomhead ones Bloomhead ASBOs, Bloomhead ASBOs like a c we could
sell on my let's see. Andthen it has restrictions imposed. Number one
open doors and windows when entering aroom. To prevent a poisonous build up
(06:51):
of your odor. Two, doublethe number of showers you take, maybe
even up to two a month.Three Uh, invest in a change of
clothes so you can personally wash thisset you've worn for the past year.
For don't move too quickly to preventexcessive sweating. Five buy some deodorant.
(07:15):
So that's fun. It's really fun. It's like too fun. Thanks Becks
for all the info I was.I was a little off the mark,
but you know it's my dad's fault. No, I mean, I love
it. I love it all theways. But Harriet's still in asma right
(07:53):
me chandling my inner horse. Itis so good. We've got our girl
Hairrriett are Asbo Harriet and her parentswho are also if you ask me,
as Bo's. And there's memories ofold Golly the Cook. We've got her
(08:15):
old best friends Sport and Jane,some of the other kids in the Anti
Harriet club, Rachel Hennessy, CarrieAndrews, Marion Hawthorne, Beth Ellen,
Pinky Whitehead, Laura Peters, theboy with the now green socks, Miss
Elson. We've got missus Whitehead,who is the principal of the school,
(08:39):
doctor Wagner, who's a new character, Little Joe Curry, Mama de Santi
and mister Desanti and their children FabioBruno, Franca Dino. I love them,
Missus Plummer, the Robinsons, andHarrison with I got in the mail
(09:03):
this week. By the way,speaking of the Robinson's My Marisol book.
Oh yay. It's a big,beautiful art book from the Buffalo Museum and
it's gorgeous and there's a lot ofpictures of that little baby, that big
baby, that big baby. ButI just I adore her and I love
(09:28):
it, and I'm so happy tohave found her through this book. I'm
so happy you found your muse.I know truly, She's like everything I've
always wanted. All right, Chapterfourteen, Let's remember this is the day
after the big shoe throwing incident whenHarriet threw her shoe at her dad in
(09:56):
her doorway, and I still can'tbelieve it. So it's the morning after
the beast has arisen. There's awhole back and forth battle of wills with
her parents at breakfast. They're like, go put your clothes on, and
she's like no, but she doesit. And then they say, go
watch yourself. No, dad threatensviolence. He says she's going to get
(10:20):
a wailing. She'll never forget andshe won't be able to sit down for
a week. Oh my god.This was the sixties. A lot of
spanking and smacking going on still backthen. No, a lot of mom
grips of the arm, mom grips. Did you ever get mom grips?
Oh? I got a lot ofmom grips. And I've explained it to
(10:43):
Poe, and Poe is like obsessedwith it because they never actually get it.
They like me to like pretend I'mgoing to do a mom grip.
But my sister classically collapsed in aparking lot after a mom grew up and
told my mom, what are youtrying to do? Kill your own kid?
(11:05):
That is classic. That is classic. It wasn't uncommon to tell your
parents that you were gonna claim childabuse. Yeah, you broke every bone
in my body? Yeah yeah.And so I remember being spanked. It
was never like it never hurt,you know. But my mom swears that
(11:28):
I never got spanked. And Iwas like, how do I remember this?
And she said, well, yourdad would threaten to spank you so
you just like imagined it. Butyeah, so did I make that up?
I have a lot of trouble trustingin my dem but the amount I
was spanked is questionable. Who knows, Like maybe it was only once or
twice, but in my mind itwas like all the time. Right.
(11:50):
See, that's what I think isgoing on here. I think my mom
and I are both a little offbecause she has a pretty bad memory.
Sorry Mom, if you're listening,but you know, you do you know
it wasn't unusual back then? Yeah, really not. So. Finally they're
back at the kitchen table. Harryactually has some clothes on and she's not
(12:11):
stinky, and mom and dad tellher they want to have a capital T
talk. Oh buddy. They informher she's going to go see a doctor,
and she is sad that it isn'tgoing to be doctor Andrews, Carrie's
dad, because she was hoping tomake up some kind of mean rumors to
tell doctor Andrews about Carrie. Likeshe's still talk shit, Yeah, she
(12:37):
is still like she has not learnedmean lessons from any of this. No,
But then she's like, well maybesince it's not going to be Carrie's
dad, maybe I can just tellCarrie that my dad thinks her dad is
a fink and that'll be enough toget her like, okay, great days,
(12:58):
your dad's a fank. And thenit's time for the appointment, like
suddenly we're going to the doctor.I love the details about the cars because
I just need to know where theypark. Mom goes to get the car
from its mystery parking spot and Daddrives, so they switch and he is
(13:20):
pissed because they can't find any streetparking, so they have to use a
garage. It's just a the carswere so much longer back then. I
know, how did you park anywhere? Yeah? And then b like what
was the like cultural tide of parking, you know, like in a city,
(13:41):
because here it's just the bane ofeverybody's day. And I wonder if
it was that bad back then becausewe're like less people were driving. It's
a good question. I do lovethat scene in the New Margaret movie where
she's getting picked up at camp andMom's got a car and she's like double
parked in the middle of that tinyroad. I do not even remember that.
(14:03):
Yeah, as they're like loading upher trunk there and it's Grandma Sylvia
and Mom, and it did makeme think a lot about like man parking
in New York City. Yeah,really, Yeah, must have been tough.
Yeah, I've never driven in acar in New York City, Like
I've only ever taken the subway orlike caps, but like not a car.
(14:26):
I've never known anyone with a car. Yeah, I don't think I
have either. Actually, m NewYork City people tell us about your parking.
I'm obsessed with street cleaning in NewYork. I've seen the videos of
how people will like move out ofthe spot and then sit there and wait
for the street cleaner to like cleantheir spot, and then they like go
repark. They just like reverse backinto their spot, and the whole block
(14:48):
is doing this at the same time. It's so it's just like a delicate
ballet. It's so interesting. I'veheard of people having parking, like in
Brooklyn, having cars. My cousin'sdrive in Brooklyn. Yeah, it's like
Long Island and stuff. But Idon't think they really do it in Manhattan.
Mm hmmmmmm. It's pretty interesting.So they go up in elevator to
(15:15):
meet doctor Wagner. He had brightred hair that stood straight up behind a
bald crown, an enormous mouth,grinning with yellow teeth, funny glasses with
big black rims. And he wasvery very tall, so tall that he
bent over a little. He also, she noticed, had very strange nose
(15:37):
and very long feet. So manypeople in this book have long feet.
Have you noticed that? Yeah?Yeah, which it's just an odd thing
to notice. But maybe it's theshoes. Maybe they're all wearing like of
the era, like little like Oxford. You know. I feel like I
only notice people's long feet when theywear Oxfords. But also I just never
(16:00):
think of feet as long. Ijust think, oh, you have a
big feet. M yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like if they're
long, they have to be likeskinny, maybe long toes hmmm mm mmmmm.
Okay. The office was large,with a sky blue rug a couch
and for some reason, a spinetHarriet stood stock still in the middle of
(16:22):
the room as doctor Wagner sat downin one of the two huge armchairs,
and a spine. For those whodon't know, I didn't know. Is
kind of like a piano thing.It's like an old fashioned small piano.
Oh. Interesting, that looks likea piano, but the inner workings are
a little different and it's harder toplay, and it is an interesting piece
(16:47):
to have in your in your psychiatryoffice. Yeah, that's wild. I
like, I like maybe play bass? Oh maybe so? Uh huh yes.
Harriet and doctor Wagner stare at eachother. Well, well, what
well what do we do? Now? You can do anything you'd like?
(17:12):
Can I leave? Do you wantto? Well? What am I supposed
to do? Well, let's seewe could play a game? Do you
like games? Harriet thinks this isthe dumbest thing she's ever heard of,
(17:32):
Like, why would I come hereto play? Does mom know this is
going on? Like? What's thematter with this guy? But then she's
like, I guess, I justI guess I gotta do this. Yeah,
I like games? All right?What kind of games? Any old
game? You're the one that wantedto play a game? Do you play
(17:56):
chess? No? Well, howabout Monopoly? Okay if you want to?
So he opens up this cabinet andit's full of games, dolls,
dollhouses, and trucks. Sounds amazing. Harriet's like, do you sit here
all day playing with those things?What do you think? What do you
(18:22):
mean? What do I think?Do you think, I sit here all
day playing with these toys. Howdo I know you got a whole closet
full of them? Don't you havetoys at home? Yes? But I'm
eleven. Oh? Well, shallwe play one game? So he sets
(18:47):
up the board and then goes tohis desk and pulls out a notebook and
a pen. Notebook. What's that? She knows what? People could write?
A notebook? A notebook? Iknow that. I just take a
(19:07):
few notes now and then you don'tmind. It depends on what they are.
What do you mean? Are theymean nasty notes or just ordinary notes?
Why? Well, I just thoughti'd warn you nasty ones are pretty
hard to get by with these dates. Oh I see what you mean.
(19:30):
Thank you for the advice. No, they're quite ordinary notes. Nobody ever
takes it away from you. Ibet do they? What do you mean?
Nothing? Let's play? So theyplay a game. Harriet wins.
She's so bored though. There's alot of note taking on doctor Wagner's end,
(19:53):
and she says, I bet ifyou didn't take so many notes,
you'd play better. Do you thinkso? God, he's so stupid.
He answers every question with a question. Ah, They play another game.
He takes less notes and wins.You see, taking notes all the time
(20:15):
makes you no good. Why don'tyou just put that notebook away someplace?
Suppose I give you a notebook,then we'll each have one and will be
fairly matched. Hmmm, interesting.Okay, do you have another one?
(20:37):
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do so. He brings her
notebook with's a notebook with a brightblue cover. Harriet's trying so hard to
be chill, you know, herlittle heart's pounding with excitement. But she's
like, you can write nasty notes, and she writes funniest notes I have
(21:00):
ever seen. Runs right down themiddle of his face like a snake.
He reminds me somewhat of Pinky whiteHead, but he's not as repulsive.
He has red hair and funny teeth. They're sort of yellow and long.
His office smells of cigars and chalk. I bet he plays with those toys.
After everyone leaves. She's writing andwriting and losing track of time,
(21:22):
and suddenly doctor Wagner is saying softlyto her, Harriet, Harry, it's
time to go, and she realizesshe doesn't want to leave. She can't
leave here. She thinks he's notso bad after all, he's just a
little batty. And then as soonas she walks out the door, Harriet's
(21:44):
mom takes her notebook away, andHarriet feels empty right back. Very interesting
kind of reverse psychology. Maybe,you know, I thought I would consult
my sister her on this. Sheis a therapist that works with children and
does a lot of play therapy andworks with a lot of really Harriet like
(22:11):
stubborn kids in the same age group. So maybe we can get her on
for a special repport. I wouldlove that. I've got questions me too,
me too. Harriet can't do anythingwithout a notebook. She realizes she
can't even play town, so shethinks maybe she'll go see Sport and Janey
(22:36):
to see if they're sick and tiredof being mad at her. I feel
like this is very brave. Ican't believe she's doing this. I would
never ah. She's just kind oflike, yeah, they've got to be
you know, they gotta have movedon by now, right. I do
feel like doctor Wagner really works somemagic. Maybe that's like some subliminal mind
(22:57):
games. Maybe the spinet, likeI think so playing something about the questions
like, actually, who's ever askingHarriet anything that's true? That's true?
So when she gets to Janie's lab, she kind of goes up the backstairs.
Janie doesn't realize she's there. Janegets so startled when she sees Harriet.
(23:19):
She's like, what the hell areyou doing here? She drops a
test tube of like this scary brownstuff and it goes all over the wood
floor and then it's like burning thewood, eating it away some kind of
acid I don't know, some likeflesh eating bacteria, terrifying. Janie's like,
(23:41):
look what you made me do?And she just mops furiously and she
ignores Harriet. She's like smiling hercreepy smile, which we all know means
she's pissed. Harriet says it wasone of the worst feelings she had ever
had, being treated like she wasn'tthere. She tries to talk, you
(24:02):
know, she makes a suggestion aboutrolling the rug over the wood to hide
it, but Janie is not ina forgiving mood. She's like, fuck
off, you've done it off already, and they just stare at each other.
They have an old fashioned stare off. Harriet gives up. She walks
out. She's afraid she might cry, like, well, that didn't work.
(24:26):
She wonders if she should even trysports House. So she goes to
a park bench and she has alittle cry, and she tries to think
up a good idea how to approachall this, but she realizes she just
has to do it. It's nowor never. She's got to go see
her best friend and if she's reallyalone in this world, she might as
(24:48):
well know it, which I thoughtwas very again, like brave, you
know, like we don't want toconfront uncomfortable truths. And she just realizes
it's she's got to rip off thisband aid. Yeah, So she goes
over to sports House. She canhear noises inside. It sounds very happy
(25:12):
in there. There's laughter and giggling, which is very unusual. She realizes
it's Sport and his dad like celebratingabout something. When Sport opens the door
and sees it's Harriet, he's notso happy anymore. But Dad, however,
is running around the room. He'sjumping on furniture, being a wild
(25:33):
man. This vision, right,it's very Jimmy Fargo's dad. I don't
know. They remind me of eachother. So much high Sport. Hello,
Harriet, sports Bad is in thebackground on the phone. He's just
like jabbering away, waving his hand, and there's a check in his hand.
(25:56):
They took it. They took it. It's coming out in a Hey.
How about that? He sold thebook? Yeah, he just got
a check. Hey's sport. Igotta talk to you. How about that?
Sports Dad picks him up right onhis shoulders. Wow, wow,
(26:18):
wow, And he twirls Sport aroundlike a tennis racket, Like, how
does that work? Yeah, justkind of swinging him by one arm,
hurtling him. Man wearing business shoesand a real suit for you and steak
every night every night, Old Sport. Hi, there, Harriet, I
(26:41):
didn't see you. What do youthink of this? I made a baby.
They're giving me money. It's great. She looks at sports Dad and
realize he's nice. He's a nicelooking man. She actually doesn't have anything
bad to say about long feet oryellow teeth or anything like that. I
mean, he's got an old sweaterwith holes in it, and like an
(27:03):
old pair of pants and worn outsneakers, and sometimes he's gloomy, but
right now he's a nice man andShe's like, oh my god, he's
a writer, a real writer.What does it feel like to get paid
for what you write? It's heaven, baby's sheit heaven. Hey, listen,
Sport, get a clean shirt on. I'm taking you out to dinner.
(27:26):
How about you, Harriet? Youwant to go to dinner with us?
No? Whoa if I know,my boy, he's trying to get
me not to spend that check already. Uh, I have to go home
anyway. I was going to say, I have to go home. I
couldn't go out with you anyway.I couldn't go with you anyway, She
(27:47):
screams towards sports Dore. What ascene, Such a scene. Harriet is
dejected. She goes home, hasanother nightmare that night. Old Golly's in
it again, and she's sitting ina rocking chair in a yellow bathrobe,
rocking Harry on her lap. Harriet'skind of sleep yelling like oh golly,
(28:11):
old golly, ol golly, oldgolly, old golly and crying and sobbing
malls her and Harriet realizes where sheis. She wakes up a little more
and then turns to the wall topretend she's asleep. She doesn't really want
to be comforted. It sounds likemom leaves and she continues to cry herself
(28:33):
to sleep, And just like that, between chapters fourteen and fifteen, we're
(28:56):
in book three. Three of three, right, three of three acts three
changes afoot, we're gonna maybe geta resolution. So Harriet wakes up the
next morning very late. It's abouttwelve pm. She finds out she doesn't
(29:19):
have to go to school that day. Her parents are making her go.
She can't really find them, butshe finally does and they're in the library
talking about her. She kind ofputs her ear up to the door and
rubb her Next it's her dad onthe phone. Well, doctor Wagner,
let me ask you this. Yes, yes, I know she's a very
(29:44):
intelligent child. Yes, well,we're well aware that she has a lot
of curiosity. Yes, a signof intelligence. Yes, quite right,
I would say so. Now,doctor, the thing is, yes,
(30:06):
I think she just might make awriter. What a project? Oh school,
Yes, I think yes, we'llcall the principle a few days absence.
Well, I think that can bearranged. But you're sure, absolutely
(30:26):
sure? She's all right? Yes, yes, exceptional? Yes, well
I think we all know that.Oh yes, well, as I explained,
she left. But you think,yes, I think we have our
address somewhere. Do you think that'dbe a good idea? I see,
(30:51):
yes, I see. Yes.Well, thank you very much, doctor,
you've been a great deal of help. Yes, I understand. I
agree with you. She always listenedto her. Yes, a regression,
Yes, one more thing, doctor, you're sure quite Thank you again,
(31:12):
goodbye. Harriet's freaking out. God, what a convo you think they're talking
about? Old Golly, that there'sperhaps a regression when she left, the
only mother Harriet had never known.Who would have thought we could have I
mean, we could have diagnosed that. She hears a bunch of mumbling.
She's kind of pissed this. Shecan't make it all out. She hears
(31:33):
her parents, you know, talkingto each other. But then her mom
pops out the door and finds her. She lets her know she won't be
going to school that day, andthis is going to turn into a few
days. So Harriet's trying to findthings to do with her time. She
(31:53):
decides to pick up her ole spyroot Little Joe Curry got his job back
from Mama to Santi, but thenshe catches him again. While simultaneously endearing
himself to mama because guess what he'sdoing. He's feeding a ham to hungry
(32:16):
children. I mean, how canyou say no to that? Harriet writes
in her notebook that was a sceneI'm glad I saw, because I would
have guessed that Mamma to Santi wouldhave bumped him over the head. But
when she saw the children, sheburst into tears and commenced wailing and giving
the kids everything in site, evena whole long salami. And when she
(32:38):
showed them away and told them notto come back or she'd call the cops.
People are funny. She didn't firelittle Joe. She told him he'd
better see a doctor because he eatstoo much tapeworm. Missus Plumber was told
she could leave the bed, andthen she proceeded to party for days,
(33:01):
literal days. The Robinson's had alot of people over to show off their
big baby and Harrison Withers, whoI realized h w Harriet, Well,
she's a little bit of a proxyfor har WHOA, you are so smart.
I think she sees herself in him. Seems happier and he's better fed,
(33:25):
and he has himself a new baby. Little kitten. That's a little
tuxedo kitten. All of this,you know, seeing the whole gang up
to their old shenanigans but also seeminghappy, makes Harriet happy. She finds
happiness, can you believe it?And by day three Harriet actually missed school,
(33:53):
so that afternoon she goes to spyon the clubhouse and she finds Marion
Hawthorne to convince Rachel to play bridgeor mageen. This part is so funny
to me, It's so funny.So then Marion tries to tell Rachel and
(34:14):
beth Ellen that the club needs higherstandards, that it needs to be a
little bit more like a country club, and also maybe she should be president
of the club and they should drinkfrom teacups even if they don't like tea,
but that they should sit at atable and chairs. It should be
(34:36):
a little, you know, swankier. And also maybe it's time to kick
some people out with a bad attitude, like Sport and Jane. But then
it starts to rain a bit andHarriet runs home. She can't believe what
she just heard. She writes MarionHawthorne is too big for her bridges,
(34:59):
and she he's gonna get it Whenshe gets home, the doorbell rings.
Mom walks upstairs with a special deliveryfor Harriet. Harriet tears it open.
She recognized the handwriting at once.Dear Harriet, I have been thinking about
(35:22):
you, and I've decided that ifyou are ever going to be a writer,
it is time for you to getcracker. You are eleven years old
and haven't written a thing but notes. Make a story out of some of
those notes and send it to Beautyis truth, truth, beauty. That
is all you know on earth andall you need to know, John Keats.
(35:46):
Don't you ever forget it? Now? In case you ever run into
the following problem, I want totell you of nt you put down the
truth in your notebooks? What wouldbe the point if you did it?
Truly, those notebooks should not beread by anyone else, But if they
are, then herod. You aregoing to have to do two things,
(36:09):
and you don't like either of them. One you have to apologize. Two
you have to lie, otherwise you'regoing to lose a friend. Little eyes
that make people feel better are notbad, like thanking someone for a meal
they made even if you hated it, or telling a sick person they look
(36:31):
better when you don't or someone witha hideous you have that it's lovely.
Remember that writing is to put lovein the world, not to use against
your friends, but to yourself.You must always tell the truth. Another
thing, if you're missing me,I want you to know I'm not missing
you. Gone is gone. Inever miss anything or anyone because it all
(36:54):
becomes a lovely memory. I guardmy memories and I love them, but
I don't get in them and liedown. You can even make stories from
yours, but remember they don't comeback. Just think how awful would be
if they did. You don't needme. No, you're eleven years old,
which is old enough to get busyat growing up, to be the
(37:15):
person you want to be. Nomore nonsense, Old golly balbinst this letter
tough love, so much tough love. But I think it's just what Harriet
needs. She finishes reading with agiant grin on her face. Oh so
(37:36):
she heads downstairs immediately to grab atypewriter, and she starts typing furiously.
And the next day Harriet just marchesherself back to school. She just decides
she's going no more nonsense. She'slate, of course, as to make
an entrance. She says, enoughis enough, it's time to rise.
(38:00):
Wait till the New Yorker gets aload of that story. It was hard
making up him finding the cat,But I think I made up a good
moral. That is, some peopleare one way and some people or another.
And that's that she must have beenwriting about, Harrison Withers. As
she gets to school, the doorof the principal's office opens and her parents
walk out, and she kind ofducks in a little nook. They walk
(38:22):
past her, kind of giggling.Her dad says, boy, wait till
she hears that. Her mother saysshe'll be I'm afraid impossible to live with.
Mister Welsh says, you know what, I bet she'll do a good
job. What is going? Whatis happening? She goes to her class
(38:46):
and Miss Elson walks in, gladto see that you're back with us,
Harriet. She smiles sweetly, nicelyin Harriet's direction. Harrett kind of tries
to smile, but she doesn't kindof know how. She says, I'm
particularly glad because I have a specialannouncement to make about a change in school
(39:10):
policy. You are aware that wehave always let you reflect your class officer,
and that the class officer has alwaysautomatically been the editor of the sixth
grade page. However, we havedecided that it's too much work for one
person. Marion Hawthorne remembers she's thepresident, she gasps. Have therefore decided
(39:37):
that here and after the teacher willselect someone else to be editor. We
have made this choice on the basisof ability, and looking over all the
compositions handed in by the class,Miss White and I have decided that several
of you have a flair for writing, and that these few should take turns
(40:00):
editorship. The selection has been made, and the editor from now on for
this half year will be Harriet.Well, oh my god, you could
have heard a pin drop, justsilence, silence in the room. Harriet
(40:22):
has been chosen for the first halfthe kid and beth Ellen for the second.
That means Harriet will write the pagefor this semester and beth Ellen next
semester. So the editor writes thewhole paper. It's the page. It's
like a page in the book.I don't know, it's like it's like
(40:46):
maybe each class has a page.Gotcha, I thought the paper was called
the page. But that makes sense. Beth Ellen turns bright red. She
can't believe it, but Marion Hawthorneis not happy. She jumps to her
feet. Miss Nelson, I wantto register a protest with the school on
(41:10):
behalf of a group which I happento be president of, and which,
by general agreement, has decided thatthis decision is unfair to the class,
the great majority of which belong ofwhich Marion miss Helson correxort ooh, to
this club of which I am president. Now, therefore, Miss Elson's like,
(41:32):
that's enough, sit down, madeyourself clear. I'd like to know
when you have had time, however, to amass this great tide of public
opinion. I didn't see you askinganyone after I spoke oo this battle of
wits. I love it, shesays. I think, therefore, just
(41:54):
to enlighten you as to the opinionsof your following, and for no other
reason, that we should take avote. I want to make it perfectly
clear that the only thing this votewill lisit is a talk with Miss Whitefrind.
I doubt very seriously that it isat all possible to change the decision.
(42:14):
I am sure it's too late,but I do think we might make
this an interesting experiment. In termsof democracy. It has long been my
opinion that one never knows the outcomeof a vote, no matter how sure
we think we are. Marion seemsterribly sure. I think we should see
(42:35):
Therefore, now I want to raisea hands on how many want Harriet and
Beth Allen to take over for thisyear. Marian's just like sitting on her
hands. She's like, oh,hell no, would I ever a vote
for this? And Rachel does thesame. Harriet and Beth Allen naturally vot
(43:00):
for themselves. Their arms fly up, and then surprisingly sports hand goes up
Lord Peter's Pinky white Heads, theboy of the Green Sox. They don't
go up. Harriet's worried Carrie Andrewsis absent, But then, very slowly
(43:22):
and almost a creepy way, PinkyWhitehead's hand does go up. Well,
Harry thinks never thought he'd save herlife. Look at him, go yeah,
and he looks back at her.She gives him a radiant smile that
(43:45):
Miss Elson says. Decides that that'sjust enough votes, It's just what they
need. Since I think we canlearn from this, children, and particularly
Marian, not to count your eggsbefore they vote for you. Beth Ellen
giggles. She looks around, suddenlyaware of her responsibilities. And that's the
(44:10):
end of the chapter. Tie Atide has changed. People are on Harriet's
side again. And we have aschool newspaper. You love a school newspaper.
Moment, school newspapers. I mighthave more, isn't that random?
(44:31):
Please? Articles? The people wantit, need it, We'll need it
all right, I'll search my archives. Gee, I have a good feeling
about book three. I'm so pumpedabout about what's happening here. I love
a redemption story. Yes, andI hope that. I hope Harriet proves
(44:58):
that she deserves this. I thinkso. And I hope Marian gets what
she deserves. Also, are weever going to actually see the Thanksgiving pageant?
It's a great question when I canonly hope. I think so.
I think I think we've got to. Yeah, yeah, I need to
know how it turns out. Bloomheads. It's always so good to hear from
(45:22):
you, So be like becks.Write us. You can dm us.
You can write to us erect usat gmail dot com. You can write
us a snail mail letter. Ohyeah, we'll try to get some more
special reports going. I definitely wantto hear more about this child psychology business,
Like does does doctor Wagner know whathe's doing? It sounds like it.
(45:44):
I think he's He's already made sucha big difference, you know.
I think Harry really just needed tobe heard and seen, and she really
needed that note from old Golly,just like we need letters affamation. It's
tough be our old Golly. Andwe hope to see you in the private
(46:04):
and free Facebook group and we'll seeyou next week. We're not going to
take two weeks off again, promise. We just had to get some ducks
in a row. But we're back. Yeah, we're fine, We're good.
Fine, that's good. Love you, love you, bye bye.
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