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December 4, 2023 • 29 mins
"Harriet the Spy," chapter 16. It's a SURPRISE FINALE! Jody and Alison finish Louise Fitzhugh's 1964 kid lit novel and cannot believe it's over. Harriet writes some truly awful editorials for the Sixth Grade Page, witnesses the implosion of the Spy Catcher Club, and makes good with a vague public apology. Join the gals for dramatic readings and commentary, and join us next week for a super special Odds and Ends! It's a (sometimes) Judy Blume book club. Join us (almost) every week!
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Episode Transcript

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(00:15):
Hi, I'm Jody and I'm Alison, and you're listening to the Bloom Saloon.
It's a Judy Bloom book club.Yeah, we say it's Judy Bloom.
We haven't read Judy Bloom for afew months because we've been reading Louise
Fitzhughes Harriet the Spy. And guesswhat the final chapter, dude, London

(00:38):
due, it's sweet sixty Yes,chapter sixteen. Okay, I have to
tell you this chapter being the finalchapter really caught me by surprise because our
kindle keeps saying like, you havetwenty percent of the book left, and
I was like, oh my god, we have so much more. And
the last twenty percent is like advertisedletters, is yours ads for the next

(01:04):
book and stuff. I didn't evengo any further. Oh see, I
wonder if we have different editions.Mine has like one hundred letters from other
authors writing about the book, andJudy Bloom is one of them. Oh,
we will save this for the oddsand ends because I am very curious.

(01:29):
So yeah, it's tributes from JudyBloom, Meg Cabot, Nick Clark,
Patricia Riley giff Lenore Look, LoisLowry, Gregory Maguire, Leonard S.
Marcus, Kristin Miller, Pat Scales, Anita Sylvie, Elizabeth Winthrop,
and Judy Zuckerman. Oh my god, Oh yeah, I do have that.

(01:49):
I had to get past the previewof the next book, right right,
I can understand slamming the book shut. Yeah, you're done, Yeah,
because I have thoughts. I havea lot of thoughts about this last
chapter. Same. So maybe here'swhat we'll do. We're gonna keep this
one a little bit short this weekdue to time constraints, but maybe next

(02:14):
week we will talk all about themovie. We'll talk about our thoughts.
Yeah, we'll talk maybe about theTV show. I don't know if we're
gonna be able to check any ofthat out before you record, but that
would be fun. Well dig inas much as we can, and bluemheads

(02:34):
let us know if there's any Doyou have any favorite adaptations? Do you
have any memories? Do you haveany moments in the book that you want
to bring us back to. Doyou have any thoughts on how it ended?
We want to hear it. Anyspecial report requests too, We haven't
done one in a while, sowe're here for you or Rookal all right,

(03:16):
it's the final chapter. We've gotHarriet m Welsh, our gal,
her parents, Oh Golly is mentioned, and the usual suspects, the usual
cast of characters at school. We'vegot her old former best friends, Sport

(03:37):
and Janey, the other kids inthe Anti Harriet Club, the Rachel Hennessy's
of the World, Carrie Andrews,Marion Hawthorne, Beth Ellen, Pinky Whitehead,
Laura Peters, the boy with thenow green socks. We've got miss
Elson, the teacher, and LisaQuackenbush, the senior editor of the school

(04:03):
paper. What a name. LoveLisa Quackenbush, Yeah, love her whole
deal. And then some of Harriet'ssubjects, Mama Decenti, Mister Desanti,
Fabio Bruna, Francadino, Missus Plumber, and the Robinson's. That's that's who

(04:26):
we got. That's our last Harrietroll call. We didn't even get Harrison
Withers. I was just gonna say, highly disappointing. Very well, I
guess we just know he's happy now, Yeah, he's happy. Chapter sixteen.
I'm gonna take the first half.Ohl, you got the second I

(04:46):
got it. Let's start with thesixth grade page that is their newspaper,
newsletter something. It's the whole schoolpublication. The sixth graders have their page,
and Harriet is now in charge,and it's out Today's the day.
Apparently Harriet was the fastest writer inthe whole school. That's what the editor

(05:11):
in chief said. So you know, she's beaming at that, slamming those
keys, slamming. But she's havingsecond thoughts on the way to school.
Suddenly she's not feeling so smug andgreat about her page. She's thinking,
what if I suck? What ifI'm not Dostoyevsky. What if everyone wants

(05:32):
Marion Hawthorne back as a sixth gradeeditor and they ask for a recount.
Truly the worst worst case scenario.She's worried at school. Everyone is reading
the sixth grade page. Everyone.Missus Agathay k Plart is a rich lady

(05:53):
on East End Avenue who thought shehad found out the secret of life,
which was to stay in bed allthe time. She is a very stupid
lady. And then lo and behold, the doctor told her she had to
stay in bed, and she faintedaway in surprise. Then he told her
he had made a mistake, andshe hasn't hit the bed since. I
think he tricked her because she thoughtshe wanted to stay in bed, which

(06:15):
is stupid, which goes to showyou two things that what you want is
maybe stupid, and that doctors arefinks. What is this editor doing to
know? Truly? Stream of consciousnessHarriet's notebook? But other people again disappointed.
Yes, I thought she was goingto become like a prolific, like

(06:39):
a real writer. Well it keepsgoing. Franka de Santi has one of
the dumbest faces you could ever hopeto see. I don't know how she
gets through the day. She evenhas to lean on things all the time.
She is about our age and goesto a public school where she's always
flunky things like shock that we don'thave snow it is maybe they teach them

(07:05):
how to run a shop there.Anyway, it won't do Franka a bit
of good because she won't ever learnanything anyway. Her father owns a store
on eighty six, and anyone whowants to can go any day and look
through the back window and see Franca. She is the shortest girl there and
is always mooning around. You wouldn'tknow her anywhere. One day I saw

(07:27):
Franka on the street. She waswalking along in front of me, dragging
her feet. I knew it washer because she always hangs her head over
to one side. I don't knowwhy, maybe it's too heavy. Anyway,
I watched her, and she didthe dumbest thing. She went into
the park and straight over the pigeons, and they looked like they were expecting
her. Then she had a longconversation with those pigeons. I hid behind

(07:49):
the tree and I still couldn't heara word, but Franco looked like she
was having a good time. Shedoesn't have a good time at home because
everyone knows how dumb she is anddoesn't talk to her. So yes,
everybody turns out Harriet is a horriblewriter. Horrible What what if someone you

(08:11):
didn't even know, Jodie, likejust someone like a child that's like Hugh,
just kind of in your life,went to their school in their school
paper and just talked shit about you, about how you walk, about how
you talk, about how you doeverything, and told everybody where they could
look in the window and find me. Yes, like that would be so

(08:37):
bananas. Oh, I mean,okay, I thought she was just kind
of a sloppy writer in her noteslike subject matter aside I'm talking about like
the cadence, the word choices thepros right. But even when she's writing
for publishing, it's bad kindative rivel. Think of another word for stupid.

(09:03):
Okay, that's our first piece ofhomework. You know, An Frank was
only a year or two older thanher when she started her diary, and
she was a fucking poet. Yeah, I mean, that's just truly does
not compute. So the kids aresneaking peeks at Harriet as they read her

(09:24):
page, and she can't quite tellwhat they're thinking. All she knows it's
a weird feeling having people read somethingyou wrote right in front of you,
which has happened before. Remember thepark bench when they stole her journal.
It's not the first time. Laterthat night, it's dinner time, and
mother's just like in the dining room, rambling and gossiping about some people in

(09:48):
their social circle. Mabel Gibbs,that's Janie's mom. I just don't understand
her. She has made such abig deal out of dancing school and how
the girls had to and how she'ssaying Janie isn't ready yet. I'm totally
paraphrasing here, but it's a wholething, just bitching about mabel gifts.

(10:09):
Harriet informs her that Janie's mom probablyjust wants to save money, and Mom
says that's rude, and Dad agreeswith Harriet, But talk about rude.
Mom's now on to Millie Andrews,who's Carrie's mom, and she has no
sense. Did you see her atthe Peters party? Jack Peters was stoned

(10:31):
out of his mind and falling offthe barstool, and Millie was just standing
there like an idiot. Everybody noticed. I do love this talk in a
kid's book. I do appreciate thatthis might be my favorite part of the
book. You like that the wordstoned is there and there's drunk adults.
Yeah, it's real. You know. Dad has his own thing going on.

(10:54):
He's over here hoping the New YorkTimes will issue a retraction in their
new issue or else. He's goingto be mad as a hornet. And
I'm not sure what the retraction isfor. Maybe they wrote something bad about
one of his movie people. Hmmm, yeah, movie. I'm curious about
him. I don't know. It'snot mentioned, but it's very interesting.

(11:20):
Harriet doesn't know what a retraction is, so he tells her it's you know,
when you have to print a correctionfor a mistake. And then we
don't know what she's thinking here,but the wheels are turning. We can
we can see her, like,oh, file that one away, right,
hmm. That night, she's underthe covers reading her book with a

(11:41):
flashlight, and the book is aboutnewspaper reporting. She's in it. I
mean, I give her that.She's definitely like trying to shoot for the
ten thousand hour rule exactly. Also, I just had a flash of that
show Press Gang. Do you rememberPress Gang? Hell? Oh my god?

(12:01):
Is it a kid newspaper show?Yes, Oh my god, your
your dream? Uh? Press Gangnineteen eighty nine. Oh, it's a
British drama. That's why you haven'theard of it. But you have to
look into that kids and they doa newspaper. It's called the Junior Gazette,
and it's amazing, sounds amazing.We're going to fast forward to the

(12:24):
next edition of the sixth grade page. I'm gonna read you a little snippet
here. Janie Gibbs has won herbackble. This should be a lesson to
all of you encourage and determination.If you don't know what I'm talking about,
then ask her. Okay, that'sintriguing, that's like that positive celebrate
your peers. Maybe an attempt tomake friends again too. But then we

(12:52):
get Jack Peters. Laura Peters's fatherwas stowed out of his mind at the
Peters party last Seconday night. MillieAndrews, Carrie Andrew's mother just smiled at
him like an idiot. For anyonewho doesn't know it, a retraction means
that a newspaper is correcting its mistakes. So far, this page hasn't made

(13:13):
any stakes. Okay, okay,he then we have like more weeks of
this page. I guess it comesout every week and that the teachers let
this go. I you know,I bet this is a very one of
those progressive schools that really came aboutin like the sixties and seventies, where

(13:33):
you know, there weren't any rules. Maybe a kid's covered in the worlds.
Yes, there's some good this Americanlives about that. The school I
went to in London was like famouslya school like that where they didn't want
to have walls in the classroom,right whoa so it was built like in
pods without walls, and like differentclasses would be happening next to each other

(13:56):
with no walls, and then theyrealise that doesn't work. Yeah, it
seems great for adhd uh huh.And so they built these the kind of
walls that you have in almost likepartitions, and like, yeah, this
is that's what I was thinking,like in a conference center where they make
it two rooms. Yeah, well, I don't know how it is now,

(14:16):
but it was still like that inthe nineties, and you could just
like tap on the wall and theperson on the other side would tap back
and it would vibrate. That's good. Uh. And then we have more.
Mister Harry Welch almost lost his joblast week for being late. He's
always slow in the morning. Herown dad, her own dad. No

(14:37):
one is safe. Ask Carrie Andrewsif she feels all right? What's that
one about? I don't know?And then a week later, ask Laura
Peters if all is well at home? Got a bit so cruel? Miss

(14:58):
Elson was trailed home from school theother day and it turns out she lives
in a real rat hole of anapartment. Maybe the school doesn't pay enough
money to live in a good place. There will be a sizzling editorial on
this next week. Wonder who trailedher home? Picky Whitehead. Yeah,
there are certain people in a certainclub who ought to watch out, because

(15:20):
there are certain other people who wantto take over from certain other people,
because certain other people don't want tospend all afternoon drinking tea and playing a
certain game. Oh could that bethe Bridge Club? A certain club?
So yeah, I mean it goeson and on. I do like the

(15:41):
idea of a gossip column. Iwill say, like in general, but
the topics are all super mean,and gossip doesn't have to be mean.
It can be really fun, likeif it was a blind item situation.
Yeah, and you have to bekind of more anonymous. I'll gossip girl,
gossip girl exo. Oh yeah,also Bridgerton, Bridgerton does it well,

(16:07):
Oh that's good. Yeah, whatis it, miss Penny Penny whistle?
Yeah, newsletter? Yeah, justlike a little fun little rag.
This is harsh throughout all this meangossip. She's noticing that everyone's looking a
little uneasy around her, but noone's saying anything, Like, no one

(16:29):
says anything or does anything. Howare the teachers letting this happen again.
I mean, the only explanation isprogressive school, right, I think,
so, I think that's a goodtheory, and that's it. Over to
you, al over to me.Well, so obviously that afternoon she has

(17:03):
to go spy on the clubhouse,like she's set them up as kind of
the next hot goss. So she'sgot to figure out more of what's going
on. She gets over there andthings aren't hence, well, it's just
outrageous, scandalous. The things shewrites, anyway, are just absurd.

(17:29):
Whoever heard of such a thing ina newspaper? When I ran that paper,
no one read things like that.Things like that don't belong enough paper.
She should be stopped. I likereading them. Harriet thinks, Uh,
that's Pinky. She can't be stopped. She's the editor. Even so

(17:51):
somebody should, we should, Well, what was she talking about about the
club? I mean, Marion reeto a Laura Carrie. They all look
into the distance, kind of pondering. I think, their future, their
lives, not giving Pinky the timeof day. Uh oh, here comes

(18:14):
trouble, and just then Sport andJaney appear at the back door. Harriet
says, they walk across the yardlike a pair of Gestapo agents coming to
question. I think that we'd betterhave this out. This has gone far
enough. I can't imagine what youmen think you're doing here? What?

(18:38):
What? What? What? Wellthink about it? How many men play
bridge in the afternoon. My fatherplays bridge, but not in the afternoon.
He plays bridge at night when he'sforced to what are you to talking

(19:00):
about? You know perfectly well whatyou've been rattling around here with teacups and
packs of cards for two weeks now? And why we even listen to you
for one minute? I don't know, because we have just as much right
in this club as you do.Well. I am president. Oh no,
you're not as of now, andyou're not Secretary treasurer either. That's

(19:30):
Janie Darney to Bethellen. Beth Ellensuddenly speaks up the most anyone's ever heard
of her. I don't give ahang. I never wanted to be and
besides, I hate bridge. Idon't give a hang. She doesn't give
a hang, and they've never heardher say that many words in Winna Row
w a debut for her, sucha debut people who do not belong can

(19:56):
lee this is our club house too. I didn't have you even built it
without me, precisely. And Ithink the point is we should discuss exactly
what this club is supposed to befor it may be your club, but
it's my backyard. That settles that. You bet your nose it does.

(20:19):
And with that sport and Jenny marchout the door, and it seems to
be things are done. Bethellen agreesand she stomps out. She's not a
little mouse anymore. Rachel's like,oh, I'll guess, I'll see if

(20:41):
the cake's ready, And Laura says, we decided that there wasn't anything else
to do anyway, so you mightas well play bridge. Yeah, Carrie
says, I'm rather fond of it. And so with that, the club
is disbanded. There's been a blowup. It's just a bridge club,
it's all it's left. Harriet's delighted. She watches as they set up a

(21:08):
little card table and they take outtheir little cups and they cut the cake.
She walks home. She really startsto feel sorry for these kids for
a minute, but not for long. She thinks, man, I got
a nice life, and with orwithout all, golly she's got a nice

(21:33):
life. So in Harriet's world thingsare good. She decides it's time she
goes to see Lisa Quackenbush, thesenior editor of the school paper. She
thinks Harriet's the funniest person in theentire world. Harriet thinks she's either insane

(21:53):
or has a very nervous laugh.And then we get our first retraction.
It's a nice little quote, prominentlyin the center of the page with a
little border, and it says,this page wishes to retract certain statements printed
in a certain notebook by the editorof the sixth grade Page, which were

(22:17):
unfair statements and besides were lies.Anyone who saw these statements is hereby notified
that these they were lies, andthat a general apology is offered by the
editor of the sixth grade Page.Can you believe a retraction apology? A
retraction apology that's so so vague.I mean, it's something, It's a

(22:40):
step, Harriet something. I willgive her an A for her writing.
Her writing has definitely improved, definitelyimproved. But I give her an F
for courage. Because she stayed homefrom school the day that this ran in
the paper. She couldn't bear it. She took a little walk by the

(23:02):
river and she's skipping along the bankwatching a tugboat, taking some notes,
and she writes, I think someof her best words, Yeah, these
are good. Yesterday when I wentinto that hardware store, it smelled like
the inside of an old thermist model. I've thought a lot about being things

(23:26):
since trying to be an onion.I have tried to be a bench in
the park, an old sweater,a cat, and my mug in the
bathroom. I think I did themug best because when I was looking at
it, I felt it looking backat me, and I felt like we
were two mugs looking at each other. I wonder if the grass talks.

(23:48):
That's good. It's really good.That's very Marathol having her moment thinking about
existence more thinking about the descriptive natureof the world. It's lovely. And
she sits there and she's writing,she's calm, she's happy. But then

(24:12):
she looks up and she sees twofigures coming towards her. They're moving very
slowly. You know, you neverwatch people walking towards you from far away.
It does seem like forever, andlike you've really got the best view
of them you'll ever have, Andyou're like, what do I do do?

(24:33):
I just watch them walk towards methe whole away. She's having that
moment. It's sport, and it'sJane Sports. Got his hands in his
pockets. He looks out over thewater. Jane's looking up nowhere towards Harriet.

(24:56):
They look like little dolls. Harrietsays, they even look like the
little people in her town when sheplays town. She thinks about them,
what it's like to walk in sportsshoes, feeling the holes in his socks.
She thinks about how Jane has anitchy nose and when she reaches up
to scratch, and what it wouldbe like to have freckles and yellow hair

(25:19):
like Janey, and funny ears anda skinny shoulders like Sport. She's like
developing empathy on the spot. Ohyeah, so sudden. They just stand
in front of her. They lookat her feet, they look at their
own feet. Well, thanks,Harriet. She opens her notebook very carefully.

(25:42):
She watches their eyes as she does. She writes, Oh, Golly's
rite, sometimes you have to lie. Now that things are back to normal,
I can get some real work done. She slams the book stands up.
Three of them turn and walk alongthe river, and that's it.

(26:04):
That's the end. It really reallyshocked me. Right when I turn the
next page, that's all we get. That's it, that's the end.
They're just friends again and everything's fine, and Harry learned to write. How
did what was the catalyst? Imean, this whole book, We're like,

(26:25):
oh, maybe this is the momentshe becomes a real girl. And
then it didn't happen, didn't happen? Didn't happen? And then was it
just this standoff at Marion Hawthorne's club. I just what she needed, a
job, she needed a purpose.Hmm. Okay, So I know you
have thoughts. I've said a lotof my thoughts of just like this writing

(26:48):
is the growth in this chapter,the early stories, who let this child
do this? A lot of thoughts. I really can't get over Harriet,
like just being terrible basically the wholebook. Yeah, it'll be interesting to

(27:14):
think about Blubber and this book inthe same light. The thing is,
people hate Blubber, you know,they hate the fact that Jill has no
kind of redeeming arc. They hatethat she's just as bad as the rest
of them. It's probably Judy's leastbeloved book for all those reasons, and

(27:37):
I see a lot of those samereasons. And Harriet the Spy, Harriet
the Spy is so beloved, Imean, Harry is so beloved, so
critically acclaimed. Harriet definitely has morepersonality than Jill Brenner all it takes.
So we've kind of put the blinderson as we read this book. We

(28:00):
didn't want to read any reviews orcritiques or hear too much from anyone else's
opinion. But I think now's thetime. Oh now, I can't wait.
I'm freaking digging in. I'm goingto like blogs. I'm going to
like I'm going everywhere. I wantto know everything. Everyone has sounds just
like her. I want to knoweverything, everything, everything everywhere. I'm

(28:22):
going to freaking investigate. Bloomheads.Help us out too, if you have
any good links you want to sendus or references. We're all ears,
we're all eyes bloom Saloon at gmaildot com. But until then, we'll
see you later. We have beyondnight. Bye bye, I love you. Bye day
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