August 19, 2025 • 63 mins
"Beginner's Love," chapters 6-7. It's getting a tiny bit steamy in this 1983 Norma Klein novel about first love, age gaps, and getting lost at Simon and Garfunkel. Jody and Molly scrutinize Joel and his antics, Dad and his defenses, and Danny's summer reading. There's dramatic readings, vintage ads, and another installment of our Para-Norma Investigations. It's a (sometimes) Judy Blume book club. Join us every other week!
*** This episode contains discussions of suicide and mental illness. If you'd like to skip it, head to our main book discussion at the 15:00m mark.
*** This episode contains discussions of suicide and mental illness. If you'd like to skip it, head to our main book discussion at the 15:00m mark.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm Jody and I'm Mollie.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
And you're listening to the Bloom Saloon.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's a Judy Bloom book club.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Welcome back, bloom heads. We're here reading a non Judy author. Today.
We're reading Norma Kline Beginner's Love. This is her nineteen
eighty three novel, and I just I keep looking at
the back of my book and I really like this
this headline. I know that practice makes perfect, but what
(00:44):
about the first time? That is a copywriting gold right?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
As a copywriter? What do you think?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
How do I read it? Yeah? But what about the
first time? I love? It?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Makes you think? Do you think these two chapters made
me think, I'm glad we're getting into a little bit
of sexy time. You told me that these chapters get
a little sexy, and I got a little. I got
a little too excited, and then I still want more.
(01:20):
Do you know what I mean? We'll get there, but
so does Joel. Yeah, yeah, we have that in common.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Before we get into that, should we do our Judy minudi,
which is where we take a minute or more or
less to talk about the most beauty bloom thing that
happened to us this week?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yes, we should let's have you go first again.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
So I was gonna do a very wholesome one about
my friend just got a new jeep and when she
picks me up in my jeep in her jeep, I
just feel like so excited and happy, and it feels
like very high school. I would assume if I had
friends who had cars in high school horny or one,
which is I feel boy crazy right now and that
(02:02):
feels very Judy Bloom esque. I feel like Stephanie in
just as long as We're together looking at the Benjamin
Moore poster. I don't know. I guess I've just been
feeling kind of dormant for the last couple of weeks.
I don't know if it's been like sad because I
got laid off or just busy with other stuff, but
(02:22):
I haven't really thought about dudes too much in the
last couple of weeks. And then last night, yesterday during
the day, I saw the Superman movie and I'm like, wow,
yum yum yum, Like this man is so handsome, he's
so nice. I'm so fairal for this movie. And then
(02:43):
I started watching the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift interview and say,
what you will about that. That is like it's an
encapsulation of what it's like to date a straight man
in that Like he'll be talking about her and he'll
be like, yeah, I'm just like I was so gold
with curiosity about you. I was so addressed by you,
(03:06):
and then seconds later he's like, yeah, I was so
butt hurt by you. I liked you so much. It's like, okay,
to have a straight man obsessed with you is to
hear but in the same sentence and it makes me
yearn So that's how I know I'm really straight. It's
like I listened to stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I'm like, yeah, but hurt.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It's like, buddy, that's not even what that means. You're
so weird.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Oh that's kind of how I felt when I'm bringing
this back to Mormon wives again. But there was like
a they did, you know, like one of the like
talking head interviews with Taylor's like baby Daddy Dakota and
then sure, and he his whole thing is that he
cheated on her when they were still when it was
(03:57):
early days, you know, like they hadn't really solidified exclusivity yet.
He's like, yeah, we just dry humped, and I was
like you are a twenty I don't know, seven year
old man, just like using dry hump a sentence without
any flinching. It was they do be like that, Yeah,
(04:20):
do you need to put a poster of Superman on
your ceiling?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I did downward didn't save a picture of him from
the internet last night, Like, let me just have this.
I don't know what for, but oh my god, say
the Superman movie real good? Go see it please?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Okay, I kind of want to. Now wait, who even
plays him?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Uh, it's this young man named David corn Sweat, which
is probably like straight man. Last name Jenitrator. Yes, but honestly,
Superman movie super duper good. It's really great see it.
And then oogle, but yeah, that's a good looking man
corn Sweat. It's like my name, Uh it is Philip
(05:10):
boot Leather, my name Jason Football.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Jacket, Jeremy Dragon, Jeremy Dragon, my Judy Minudi. I don't know.
I've had a lot of them because my mom's been
in town. Mom comes in the Bay Area for a
month usually every August, and we do all sorts of
fun activities and so like every day I'm like, ooh,
(05:38):
this is kind of a Judy Minudi. But I think
the most one is that I have had the pimple
of all pimples, It's like the kind with like three
and one hat. So I've been using pimple patches, but
I have really embraced wearing the pimple patches in public,
(05:59):
so that I think that's.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Oh, that's a good one. I think that's gen Z's
best contribution to culture is visible pimple patches totally.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I haven't gone into like the shapes or like the
patterns yet. I'm still doing the clear, which is kind
of pointless because you still see the pimple. So yeah,
I think I have to go to opaque patterned star Fine.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
They're fun, They're just they're just I feel like they're
putting them on their face when they don't even have pimples,
just as almost like a like Marie Antoinette fashion statement.
Oh totally, and I'm into it.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Shall we do norm investigation? Okay? So this one is
also from our anonymous contributor and Norma expert Kleinstein. Last
week they sent us a really lovely and moving tribute
(07:19):
from Norma's husband after she died, written in nineteen eighty nine,
and then today we have a letter, an exclusive letter
written to Kleinstein. Whoa from Ellene fi Olsen? Who is
who was Norma's autobiographer? Or wait, no, wouldn't it be biographer?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Okay, Ellen says, I am wondering if you were planning
to write something about Klein. She's saying this to Kleinstein.
I would welcome more scholarly attention to her. Although I
recently wrote a chapter for a scribner's reference book, I
do not anticipate writing anything more, at least of an
ambitious nature myself. Of course, that could change, but it
(08:05):
seems most unlikely. While I would like, in some ways
the opportunity to write a more frank and forthright treatment
than what is found in my presenting book that's her biography,
I do not see that there is sufficient interest at
the moment. I am, in fact, rather disappointed in what
appears to be the sharp decline in readership since her death.
(08:27):
If I am mistaken in this perception, I would joyfully
accept information. On the contrary. One of the keenest disappointments
I felt at her death was that there would be
now no further development of her adult fiction. Something I
said in my book that pleased her. No end was
that she was still a developing writer whose best books
had not yet been written. How sadly wrong I was.
(08:49):
Although I was not fully aware of this at the
time I knew her, I have since learned that she
felt a certain second class literary citizenship in being known
for her teen books. She yearned for recognition in the
adult field and felt her established reputation worked against her
efforts there. It is impossible to know what Norma might
(09:10):
or might not have developed into. She had fine narrative skills,
a wonderful ear for rhythms of speech, and a delicious
sense of humor. Her characterizations were frequently memorable. However, there
was a certain lack of balance in her, a tendency
to mount her soapbox, and of compulsion to be outrageous
that frequently got the better of her esthetics.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
HM.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
The last contact I had with the Klein family was
a telephone conversation with her husband shortly after her death.
He called me one Sunday afternoon out of the blue,
which I most appreciated, and had a long conversation. I
was very impressed with him, both through the telephone and
what she had earlier told me. I understand, however, that
some of her friends felt he was not as understanding
(09:56):
of her problems as he might have been. Norma liked
to paint a cosey picture of her family life, both
in her father's household and her own. Reality was as
always more complex. In her fiction, she started using more
and more of the dysfunction she felt in the household
of her childhood. I have not determined the degree she
(10:16):
may have used her relationship with her husband and children
in her fiction. Klein was a prolific writer, as you know,
possibly even a compulsive one. A difficulty I had in
writing my book was that she produced fiction almost faster
than I could review it and incorporate my impressions into
the book. I understand she left many many writings in
(10:37):
various stages of completion, while only a few have been
published since her death. I do not know what any
future plans for editing and publishing may be. Probably you
are better informed than I on this one. Having recently
visited with her mother about Norma's death, it was, of
course suicide. Jeez.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Her family had difficulty admitting it at the time. Some
of her friends felt that Frankness would have been more
a credit to her memory, but she herself was not
always frank. On the surface, Norma had everything going for
her as she reached fifty. She had a fine income,
seemingly good physical health, celebrity, a mother and daughters, and
(11:19):
a working marriage. She knew interesting people and seemed to
have an enviable life, but her own perceptions were frequently different.
Possibly her book The World As It Is expresses some
of the feelings she had about herself. Some of her
friends thought so, but it is a highly fictionalized narrative too.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, so that is about half of this letter. We'll
save the half for next week. But this is so
interesting and sad and chock full of information we would
never find elsewhere.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, that is such an interesting primary source. And obviously,
like couch, all of this and this is people talking
about Norma. Norma's not here to defend herself or say
what was going on, So none of this I think
should be taken as like definitive. But wow, it sure
(12:13):
seems like the evidence is mounting up for kind of
the cause of death.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah, man, you know, I understand why Kleinstein didn't want
to share this information with us years ago when we
first read it, But you know, I want to remind
everybody that they recently went to the University of Minnesota
library and all these letters, I mean not these particular letters,
(12:39):
but letters of similar nature and papers and manuscripts were
there ready for the public. So I think Kleinstein feels
a little more comfortable, Yeah, putting this out there. Yeah,
it is such a Oh god, what a tragedy that
Norma's not here to tell her own story. It does
sound like the by biography it's worth reading, but this
(13:02):
biographer also seems to hint that it's quite incomplete. This
is the biggest mystery I think we've ever encountered on
the Bloom Saloon.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
My gosh, that's so interesting, and it makes me so
sad that she felt like this literary second class citizen.
One of her biggest contemporaries and buddies was Judy, who
really did step back and forth between ya and adult
and children, And so it is possible, and maybe it
(13:37):
was just a confidence thing, or I wonder if Jud's
ever gave her any advice on that.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Oh yeah, I would be so interested to know. Hmm. Oh,
poor Norma.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah, Norma, we love your books. We're loving Beginner's Love
and we thank you for writing it.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Thank you, and thanks Kleinstein for sharing this with us.
This is really appreca your research work PhD and Norma Kleine. Yes,
you know, I don't know for the kind of podcast
that says something like this, but just in case we are, uh,
if you are listening to this and you are feeling
a type of way about this discussion, the suicide crisis
(14:19):
line is you can either call or text nine to
eight eight. It's really simple and there are people there
that can you can be connected with who can.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Help you with Thank you so much for saying that.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Okay, so we have all the usual suspects today. We
have Joel, who's the narrator. We have who is seventeen.
We have Leda who is his girlfriend. Now I guess
who is also seventeen. We have Burger, who is Joel's
best friend, also seventeen. He's a riz master hold for plane. Okay,
(15:21):
it's gone. Uh. Then we have Joel's dad whose name
is Franklin and he's a food critic. Then we have
Joel's mom whose name is Nan and she's a gallerina.
And then hot New Bombshell entering the villa. We have
Gerald Hartley Finn, who is Mom's first husband who is
(15:43):
now spoiler alert dead.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
He's a professor. We get a pretty big lore drop
about that one. Uh. And then we have Danielle, who
is Lda's friend, who is busty and bookish, and also
we get a Laura drop about her. So I think
that's pretty much though, all the characters we have in
these chapters. Oh, and Simon and Garfunckle, we were also there.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Somewhere and the couple. Oh, I'm doing it under the
blanket at Simon and Garfunckle.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
And one of those people in the couple is also
named Joel. I think so too. Joel's exactly what we
didn't ask for.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
All right. Chapter six it's Rasha Shana time, so around
late September ish, I guess we're fast forwarding a few
weeks and Joel comes home from school to find his
mommy crying.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Cry.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh. He's like, this is not normal. First of all,
she's home from work early, and second, she's not a crier.
She's usually very composed and she's definitely not a floor crier.
M can't relate. But this is the day we learn
about Gerald Gerald Gerald. What's his full name again, Gerald
(17:05):
Hartley Finn, Gerald Hartley Finn. So this is ex husband Gerald,
who she married when she was nineteen and he was
in his forties.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Uh oh.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
The age gaps continued always.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I know, they're really like smacking you on the head
with the two by four being like, this is a
book about age gaps.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yep, yep, yep. I feel like Joel's like, see there's
a room for me and hope after all. Ohhh okay,
so Gerald, like I said, he's the ex husband. Joel
always forgets that his mom used to be married, which
I always find so interesting. And you know, when I
(17:50):
was growing up, I always wondered about this from friends
whose parents had whole other lives before, you know, their
current family, and it always seemed so exotic, and I
just felt like I wanted to know how that felt,
you know, as the kid of someone who had another
family maybe or you know, like how to And I
(18:11):
know that's very common now, it's more common than it
ever was, but I think growing up it was not
that common, and it just seemed like to me more.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
If you have a story like that, please call in
or send us a letter. I'd love to know too.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
The closest I get to that is now, So my
mom's rried to Richard. Richard has a son whose name
is Tyler, who's on my brother's also his name is Tyler.
But sometimes Tyler will look at a picture of like
my mom's family before she married Richard, and he goes, oh,
that's your real dad home Like, okay, well, there's no yes,
(18:48):
but I don't have a fake dad.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Funny like that totally. I have a kind of I
mean it's kind of related, but not really. But my
mom has a boyfriend, I mean they've been together like
ten years, and he has a bunch of grandkids, and
so my mom has this whole other family that I
don't know about, and they call her. The grandkids call
(19:11):
her Nana Sally, And I'm like, you're a grandmother too
to people that I probably will never meet because we
all live in different areas. And you know, my sister
and I didn't produce any grandchildren, and my mom's not
really like a maternal grandmotherly type, so she doesn't This
(19:31):
isn't like the biggest thrill in her life to have grandkids.
But it is very weird that like she's like Christmas
shopping for the grandkids and oh my honey, but you're
my mom's.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You're my mom.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Yeah. But anyway, Joel doesn't think this whole storied past
is exotic at all. Like all he can picture is
his mom married to a little old Nan being pushed
around in a wheel chair by a nurse. And I'm like, rude,
this man was only eighty two. Yeah, Gerald has died.
(20:09):
Mom is really sad, but not just because he died.
She has all these complicated feelings because it turns out
Gerald must have still held a torch for Joel's mom,
Nan her name is after all these years, because he
had bequeathed her a bunch of art books he'd been
(20:30):
collecting and saving just for her.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That's nice. I wonder if it's like a portrait of
a lady on fire type situation where he like circled
certain things for her to like, I still love you.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Oh maybe maybe. And you know interesting that he didn't
Oh wait, no, his wife after Nan had died, right, this.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Is freaky diky. So he had a first wife who
I don't know if it says let me look, it
says the first he So Mom was his third wife.
The first wife killed herself.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And then the woman he married after Mom also died
and it says I think she died to some kind
of accident. So potentially she was a serial killer. Yeah,
I think. And Mom escaped with her life. But like,
(21:34):
maybe if you put together the things he underlined in
the art books, like it says like it confesses to
his crimes the jinx style. I don't trust this. Something
spooky's happening here.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yes, I thought the same mom is. You know, Mom's
very touched by this. She has positive feelings towards Gerald,
but she's racked with guilt for leaving him because basic
she ran off with Joel's dad. Yeah, and then dad.
Speaking of dad, he comes home from work and then
(22:08):
they have this whole combo that really drove me up
the wall. So we'll read it. But okay, first, there's
a sidebar about how Joel is a vegetarian, which I
like him a little more.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Now, well, are you sure because two paragraphs later he's like,
because I'm a vegetarian, Mom makes fish and chicken for me.
It's like, wait, baby, do you think those are vegetables? Wait?
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Wait? Wait, I thought he was saying she makes it
for herself, like she's stopping eating red meat.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
More so, listen to this so okay. On page forty six,
he says he's a vegetarian because he watched this documentary
in social studies about how they slaugh her cows, and
dad is mad about Joel not eating beef. And then
it says Mom's a little better. She tries to get
(23:02):
fish and chicken more than she used to, but sometimes
she forgets and they have steak. I don't care. I
just don't eat with them those nights. So this collection
of sentences makes me think he eats the fish and
the chicken. Tell me I'm weird for thinking that, because I.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
No, No, I think we could go either way, because
I did read it the other way. But like, I
think it's very unclear.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I was like, in the eighties, did they only think
that steak was meat, like if it wouldn't count as
a meat in like a video game graphic.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
It doesn't totally, no, But I do get that sometimes,
and it is from like older generation, like people's parents,
you know, Like I'll go to dinner at someone's house
and I'll be like, oh, I don't eat meat, and
they'll be like, well, how about chicken. I'm like, that
is meat interesting? Yeah, I think if it doesn't have
(23:56):
four legs, then it's fair gay.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Okay. My cousin was a vegetarian for a while, and
she would be a pescatarian because she's like, well, I
feel like fish have a chance to get away. That's funny.
I don't think that quite tracks because I know you
can farm fish too, but oh yeah, that was clever.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah. Yeah, I do eat fish sometimes, but I don't
say I'm a pescatarian because that means that people will
think I just want to eat fish for every meal
and I don't really like fish. But as my friend
Beth says, it started with me being bivalve curious, so
I would do like the muscles and oysters.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well, we have to call this episode by valve Carrie.
Soid oh, man, I get it, I get it. Sorry,
I derailed you.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
No, No, I love a good analysis. So Mom, Dad,
and Joel are sitting around discussing this Gerald situation.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Darling, I guess I just don't quite understand. I think
it's such a nice thing for Gerald to have done.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I know, and here I've hardly thought of him for years.
I treated him so badly.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
You didn't treat him badly.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
I left him, I betrayed him.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
He was thirty years older than your mom, right, how
could that have lasted? If anything, he took advantage of you,
of your youth and inexperience.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
What do you mean in what way?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I mean he used the fact that he was your
professor to know you with all he knew about art.
He gave you a long song and dance about how
miserable his marriage had been.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
But it was he was miserable. Frank his wife used
to bring lovers home and they'd be there when he
came home from work.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Okay, forget the taking advantage part.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I don't know how you can say something like that. There.
I was lonely, hating college, and he was one person
who was kind to me, who tried to show me
a way out, who gave me confidence in myself. And
how did I reward that?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So we should we have not gotten married?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Of course we should have gotten married. That has nothing
to do with it.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I seem to be emerging as the villain in this,
abducting this gentle young thing from you. Did, darling, you
wanted to? I didn't.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
That makes it worse. I know, I wanted to let
me keep good.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I have a great idea, let's go up for ice cream? Mark.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah. So, so I just feel like Joel and Dad
are really dismissing Mom's feelings here, and Dad is so narcissistic.
He turns it around on himself like I'm the victim,
and it's like, come on, allow your wife to have
like sad, complicated feelings. I mean, maybe she was you know,
(27:08):
uh seduced or whatever we want is groomed by this
older professor, But like why, you know, why bring that
up now? It's not gonna help matters.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Yeah, I think I think I think it is insensitive
to bring it up when she's clearly so sad and
I it's so hard to know because we don't. This
is also because this is pretend, but it's just like
what was she groomed? Because it also I think there's
(27:38):
a way to read this of like, oh, he was
such a monster, how dare he talk to her about art? Well? Right,
but it is funky, like a man in his forties
getting together with like essentially a teenager. So I think
(28:00):
there's an element that I don't think Dad is wrong.
And also if I was the spouse of this person
and I was the person that they dated and married
after this person and they were so sad about like
what did I do to him? I think I would
get a little offended, even if you know, it was
clearly said in grief, Like I I would feel a
(28:21):
little offended about what about me? Yeah, but I think
it's tactless to be talking about it that way at
this second.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Yeah, And like I think there's a difference between offense
and like defense. I don't know, he's just getting like,
don't blame me. It's a But what I love about
this conversation is it's like so real. Of course, people
react in stupid ways or irrational ways, and you know,
back to the age gap thing. This was written in
(28:53):
nineteen eighty three, and it was like a lot less taboo.
Oh yeah, I have these age gaps. And you know,
if you look at any film of the era, and
any couple on screen had probably like a at least
a twenty.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Year I mean, my mom will casually tell stories about
She's like, oh yeah, my high school friend married our
high school teacher, which she was in college, so like.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, oh bluemhads.
We want to hear about that stuff too.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Because I feel like, yeah, as long as everyone's okay, oh.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, yeah, we don't want to hear like traumatic stories.
But there was always the student here.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I'll tell a fun one. My friend had a gossip
from her hometown and it was her friend she went
to high school with. They've been out of high school
maybe five ten years now. Posted this picture on Facebook
of her with this guy and was like so happy
to be with him. We were having a great Christmas
(29:54):
or whatever. And my friend looked at it and she goes,
is that mister Peterson was their social studies teacher? Mister
Peterson and they met at like a bar again five
years after everyone had graduated, five ten years after everyone
had graduated. But all of the comments from her like
(30:16):
high school friends were like what is mister Peterson? And
so she took it down and then a couple days
later she's like, you got me, I'm Daster Peterson and
now they're engaged. Every time we see an age gap relationship,
I text my friend and I'm like, very mister Peterson code,
(30:38):
It's so funny.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Was mister Peterson hot?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
No? Oh okay, no, offense to mister Peterson and or
his fiance. But I've seen hot teachers before, this is
not one of them. Yeah, but it did happen again
like ten years after everybody had graduated.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Everything day. As far as I could tell, that's the
wholesome version.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
But I like that she posted a picture of the
bacheorette party and it had one of those banners that
said like same dick forever. And my friend was like,
don't say that about mister Peterson's this is terrible.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Same dick forever.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I've never said, oh, it's a really I hate this message,
but uh, it's like edgy bacheorette messaging that's going around
right now, and especially Chris, when it's your social studies.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Teacher, one wants to think about mister Peterson's dick.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I crazy kids are happy together.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Wow, that's a good one, Molly, thank you anytime. Okay,
So so yeah, Joel and Dad go to ice cream.
They let this irrational emotional woman deal with her feelings
on her own on the floor. They eat some gourmet
ice cream. Dad is a food snob. Remember only Michelin
(31:56):
stars for Dad, and this place makes their ice cream
like to order, like on the spot is is it
a cold Stone situation? Are they mixing in the burnt
almonds in front of you? Maybe let's not not mention
the burnt almond flavoring. That sounds very weird and bad.
(32:19):
Joel gets a hot fudge Sunday and we have this
real father son moment with Dad reveals how he got
together with mom and this is all This is all
news to Joel. He was like, I thought you just
met at a party, which is half the story. Yeah,
we met at a party. I was the bartender.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
The bartender.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I was twenty one, just out of college, no do,
kind of floundering about what to do in my next life.
A friend said his wealthy couple needed a bartender for
a big party they were giving, So I figured why not.
I bought a book on how to mix drinks when
I was afraid people would come up to me and
ask for Tila sunrises and Bolshoy punches. Actually most of
(33:06):
them just had straight scotch or bloody Mary's sidebar.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I love. There was a time in my life where
I really got down on a night time bloody Mary,
so I would have really enjoyed this party.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
I was gonna say I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Oh yeah, I really burnt my stomach lining out for
a couple of years going hard on Bloody Mary's.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
But yeah, because if you drink it at night and
then you lie down soon after, it gets stuck in
your esophaguess.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
It was when I was like twenty three. I never
had a GI track problem in my whole life, and
I was just ordering Bloody Mary's at night like a animal.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
We're like, that's my quirk.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
It really was. And now, unfortunately, and this is a
PSA to everyone in my life to stop. But because
I went so hard on it in my early twenties,
everybody buys me like Bloody Mary merch and Bloody Mary
like kits and stuff, and so I have that capacity
much now and I don't even drink Bloody Mary's anymore.
So everydy stop. But man, we had a really good run,
(34:06):
Joel says. So mom was at the party.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
No, she gave it, she and Gerald. I remember I
rang the doorbell and this girl answered, wearing a red dress,
her hair loose. The thought for sure she was the daughter.
She said, I'm missus. Finn was her husband, like really old,
not especially the distinguished type graying temples, custom made suits,
(34:30):
even a vest. Maybe the whole thing overwhelmed me. Though
a nine room apartment on Park Avenue antiques, I thought
they must be millionaires. Actually they were well off. Gerald
had money from his family, but not the way it
seemed to me then. All my friends were living in
furnace rooms with kitchens in the living room. In my apartment,
(34:52):
the bathtub was in the kitchen, if you can picture it.
How come they couldn't figure out where to put it?
It was a railroad walk up. So this seemed like
a real elegance in this gorgeous young woman married to
this old man. He seemed old to me then, and
he was probably younger than I am now. Anyhow, I
just kept staring at her all evening, couldn't figure it
(35:15):
out why she'd married him, what she was doing there?
I thought she must have married him for his money,
did she? No, not, really, It was what I said.
He snowed her with all his culture quote unquote. He
didn't lunge at her like the men she met in college.
He was urbane, sophisticated. God knows. Anyhow, towards the end
(35:38):
of the evening, she came over to me, she said,
you've been staring at me all evening? Is there a reason?
She seemed nervous, and I said, why did you marry
him when you're young? You say those things? I figured,
why did I have to lose? I thought I'd never
see her again. She turned bright red and walked away.
(35:59):
I was scared they might not even pay me for
the evening, that I was gonna that she was gonna
kick me out on the spot. But when the evening
was over, she took me aside and gave me the money.
I started to apologize and said, sorry about before. That
was dumb. It's just that you're so beautiful. And she
just looked at me a long time. Then she said,
(36:20):
I teach at Nightingale, Bamford. It's a school for girls
on East ninety second. I went home, and all of
a sudden, while I was lying in bed, it came
to me. She told me where she worked, so if
I wanted I could see her again, did you I
showed up there at three o'clock the next Monday.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Yeah, and we fell madly in love. And she left
poor urbane old Gerald in his Paisley vest and we
got married.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah. And then this is where the low drop happens
about Mom being his third wife. Yeah, and all of
the other serial.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Killershito, black Dolly uh or no, wait no, black black
Dahlia wasn't the murderer. Wait, who's the who's Oh, black widow,
black widow.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
So they go home after ice cream, and Mom's doing better.
She's she's crawled off the floor, she's dusted herself at
off and she says that Lida called while they were out.
There's a part about Dad like swooning over the name Lida.
He's like, does she have a long, milky white neck?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
And like this is a family of pervs.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Yes, And then Mom reminds them that, like literally, she says,
swan rape is nothing to swoon over, and the logic
is not there. Why would getting raped by a swan
give you a milky white, long neck. Dad's stupid. Joel
calls Lida and they plan to see Simon and garfue
(38:00):
Uncle in Central Park. Iconic This is oh so jealous,
me too. We learned that Joel and Lida have been
talking every night and they've hung out three times so far,
So I guess, yeah, are their boyfriend girlfriends?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:17):
Oh, and Lida is also a vegetarian, and this is
very cute. She has a photo of a cow that
she once met on her wall and her rude mother
took it down because she thought it's weird to have
a photo of a cow on your wall, and Lida
put it back up.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Her mom is like, how dare you have a picture
of a cow on your wall? Take it off and
put up that busty picture of you from the play. Yes,
there's a respectable house with your push up bra.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
So yeah. The plan for Simon and Garf is to
bring Burger and Danny and maybe they'll get together and
they'll meet at the park at ten am. And then
Joel gives Burger a call to let him know about
these plans, and Burger seems a little skeptical about Danny
because she's so quiet, but she's got bibes. Oh, and
(39:11):
this is very exciting news. Joel says that after the
concert they might go back to Leeda's house because her
parents are out of town. And you know what that
means Oija boards?
Speaker 2 (39:41):
All right, well, chapter seven, Now, chapter seven gave me
anxiety for people pre cell phone. Yes, like pre cell phone,
you just lose people all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Forever and sometimes you don't even find them, yeah, like
like you know, at the start of the event.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Oh yeah, or that oh yeah. So Joel and Berger
go to Central Park to meet Danny and Lida, and
they're looking for them on the Great Lawn. It's hard
to find them because it's a big, busy concert, but
they found them on a blanket. And I love this
(40:27):
description of Lida's outfit and I want to recreate this
exact outfit's She was in jeans and a bright pink
T shirt with some kind of dinosaur painted on it.
The T shirt was kind of tight, like yes, dream outfit.
Love this. Love Lida and her quirky shirts.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
She's a real Claudia Kishi.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
She is so Claudia Kish. But you know what, Leida
would probably be friends with Stacy because Stacy lived in
New York.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Right right, and they're both sophisticated and have blonde, curly hair.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Head canon. I love this. So they're hanging out and
he's reading a book and they asked Danny what she's reading.
And keep in mind, this is ten am at a
Central Park at assimon A Garfel Cocons, and Danny's like,
it's about this girl who had to like it's about incest,
(41:16):
it's a true story, and Burger's like okay, and she goes,
she was traumatized for life, and even when she grew
up and got married, she still had all these nightmares.
But she didn't want her father to come to the wedding,
but he came anyway, and he got drunk. It's a
really sad story, like, oh, baby, not the venue. Not
(41:39):
the venue. But also, do y'all know what books she's
talking about, because hand to god, I did google eighties
incest book question mark. Oh, and the only thing that
kept coming up was Flowers in the Attic, So maybe
it's that. But I've never read Flowers in the Attic,
so I don't know if the things she's describing happened
in that book. So bluemheads, let us know flower.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I haven't read Flowers in the Attic either, and I
can't believe I haven't. But it's brother sister, right, But maybe.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
The closest I could find. And this isn't a book
that came out in the eighties, but they're talking about
Mackenzie Phillips and her dad have a story like that. Yeah,
but that can be what she's talking about, So, I
don't know if you know what depressing ass book this
is referring to, let us know, Yeah, but Danny. I
(42:32):
appreciate Danny because that is a lot to say the
second time you're meeting someone.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Apparently her and Lyda had been chowing down before the
boys got there, and they ate their whole picnic relatable queens.
They make a big deal about how Burger's really unhealthy.
And wait a minute, now I'm thinking about this. Did
Joel eat a hot dog because it's a I got
(43:00):
hot dogs and soda and some popcorn for Burger?
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Is that always that all for Burger?
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Okay, I don't know, unclear, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
They're so oh my gosh, Norma. She really makes us
think with her uh phrasing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Anyway, So they're making a point about burgers so unhealthy,
and he says everything good is bad for you, and
God bless little earnest Danny. She goes, that's not true.
Books aren't bad for you, and Burger says, sure they are.
They pervert your mind, all that dirty stuff about girls
(43:36):
making it with their fathers. She says, it's it's psychological.
It makes you learn about human nature. And then the
next sentence, after saying books are psychological they make you
think about human nature, the next sentence is Joel going,
Danny does have big breasts, like yeah, yeah, read him
to filth Norma. Absolutely, Danny, hey relate to the bluemheads.
(44:02):
Danny gets a tummy ache and goes to the bathroom.
And the part of this chapter I appreciated was an
in depth description of the kinds of things they brought
in their picnic basket.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to talk about.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
This, which is eggplant sandwiches and grapes and this big
bag of late chocolate chip cookies. Yum. I love this.
Danny leaves and hasn't come back. They're worried, and then
Burger goes to look for her too, and as happens
when no one has cell phones, they kind of disappear
off the face of the earth and they don't see
(44:40):
the rest because Burger and Danny are gone off the
face of the earth. Joel and Lida start making out,
and Lida says.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Maybe we should have come by ourselves.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
We can go back to your house after.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yeah, oh god, look at that.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
That's gross and it said, about six feet away from us,
this couple was under a blanket. Maybe they weren't actually fucking,
but they were certainly doing something similar.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
How can people do that? That's rude?
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Do you think they're gonna finish by the end of
the concert? Oh? God, I wish they'd stop. They're making
me so horny.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I think this heel turn is so interesting. And I
don't know if Norma did it on purpose, because Leita
has two lines right before where she's saying, ugh, that's gross. Uh,
that's rude, and then she switches to saying it made
her feel horny. Yeah, And so I'm wondering, like, does
(45:42):
she I don't want to question it, because obviously I
know from firsthand experienced girls be horny, but I'm wondering
if what's being implied here is that she sees that
Joel is into it, so she kind of switches tact
it thought.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
What do you think I like that interpretation because I
do think she's a bit of a people pleaser. Yeah,
and I can see her switching to like make him
feel more comfortable, or to be like, yeah, yeah, I'm down,
you know, But also it could be like, oh, that's
so rude of them because I wish I was doing that.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Well, I've no really had that thought. I mean, I
do think she's like confident throughout, and I'll do another
popcorn read of that, but I do hear the notes
of her thinking about how Joel is seeing things and
kind of deferring to him in a weird way or
a weird way, in like a way I think, whether
(46:46):
we want to or not, we've all done it.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
Certain totally, very much loud, how I've operated totally, especially.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
You know whom's among us when we were seven ten was.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Like not doing shit like this, No, exactly.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Anyway, So they keep watching the couple have sex. Apparently
one of the people in the couple is named Joel,
and they're saying Joel's name out loud in the throes
of passion, and uh, they still don't know where Burger
and Danny went. And there is a really funny moment
where I guess the concert starts and Joel and Lida
(47:29):
are talking about where the hell their friends are and
the couple that was fucking like tell them to be quiet.
Yeah yeah, and Lena goes, this is why I think
Leda's confident. She goes why don't you start fucking again? Yeah,
that hilarious, so funny. Good job get them.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
But then she's like, oh god, I'm awful. What a
crazy thing to say. I'm crazy.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
My god, she's so random. Yeah, and it is funny
that there's this undertone of like, also our friends are missing, yeah,
because eventually they find Danny, but they never find Burger.
I just leave it, just like, bye, let's leave Central Park.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
It's like, what are you gonna do? And I'm like,
how old were you when you first got a cell phone?
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Oh? I was in eighth grade. I don't know how
old you are then? Fourteen? Maybe?
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Yeah, So you have never like really experienced like a
true social life without a cell phone. Huh No.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
But what I did do before I had a cell
phone is if like something went wrong and I had
to like be picked up from school at a different time,
I would this is my aging me. I would go
to a payphone and I would call Collect yes to
my house, and instead of leaving a message, it would
be like, you have a Collect call from Hi, I'm
(48:57):
outside of the school and he got out early, Come
pick me up. Would you like to accept? Like, I
don't need to, I don't need to accept, she told
she did the drink that you were conveyed. Yes, you're right.
For the most part, I've always had a cell phone.
But tell tell me your law tell me.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
Okay, well, I mean I I didn't have a phone. Well, okay,
So when I moved to London my senior year of
high school, it was like Europe was ahead of America
in terms of like phones, So everyone had a Nokia
whatever whatever, pretty standard, but we did have like limited
(49:37):
like no one was really texting then. It was more
for like phone calls, but more for like emergencies or
quick like hey, let's meet up here, because everyone had
like minutes, you know, like no one wanted to go
over their minutes. So that was that. But then when
I went to college back in the US, nobody had
phones then, and so I didn't have a phone for
(49:58):
years and years and years. And then I was a
late adopter because I was just like antiphone for a
long time. I don't know why. So I didn't get
a real phone until I was about twenty five.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
Yeah, So I have a long history of being phoneless
and like lost situations exactly like this, you know, I
remember specifically because I went to college in Virginia and
my boyfriend went to college in New Jersey and we
used to for fun, we would go to like protests
(50:32):
in DC, just mostly for the social aspect. So he
and all his buddies came down to DC and then
I came up on my own from Virginia and we
had a loose plan to meet at like I don't know,
noon at so and so place, and I was just like,
this is never gonna work.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
But it worked.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
It was like it's magic when that does happen. But
I think you also go into it expect it not
to You got to have a plan be And then
there was another time we used to go to these
hippie festivals out in the woods, and I drove up
later than a bunch of my friends and we were
just kind of like, we'll find you because we didn't
realize how big it was going to be. And then
(51:16):
we get there and there's like thousands and thousands of people,
and so I spent a day like on my own,
like looking for them.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
Yeah my nightmare.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
Yeah, but you, but you're also so much more like
easy going. I think the phones do make us more
like anxious if the plan doesn't go to plan, you know,
and we and the sad thing is, we can never
go back to that. No, never, no, like even if
we try. Like everyone, you have to get everyone in
(51:48):
your circle on board not to have phones. And that's
very hard to do, so hard impossible.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Hey, Hi at.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Home, Crazy calls a tape of seven different songs and
funny recordings for answering machines.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
I am very sorry that I'm not at home to
take your call.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
On the fourteen ninety five, and I will get back
to your message. Give someone the gift of gad for
their answering machine and a friend. What you've actually done
is but one way ticket to the answering machines.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
On Nobody's Nobody's. I'm cold, but I'm not home, but
I'll be back fall too.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
Got Crazy calls a tape of seven different songs and
funny recordings for only fourteen ninety five.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
You gotta leave your name, you gotta leave.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Call one eight hundred three five to one fifty two hundred.
Call one eight hundred three five one fifty two hundred.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Like I said, they leave the park and the plan
is to go back to Leada's house and Joel's excited
because he thinks that Leida's parents are away for the weekend. Uh,
And she says, haha, No, they're just in New Jersey.
But they still have the huse themselves, so they're gonna
get down to it. They're in Leada's room, and Joela's
(53:18):
sad about her parents not being in Boston. And it says,
then Lida did this amazing thing. I was sitting on
the edge of her bed. She suddenly pulled her dinosaur
t shirt over her head, threw it on the floor,
unhooked her bra and threw that on the floor, and
got out of her jeans. She was just wearing a
pair of bikini underpants with little strawberries on them. She
(53:40):
looked at me and struck a pose her hands on her.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Hip tetah preview of coming attractions.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. I guess she
thought I was disappointed in the way she looked, because
she said.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not big like Danny.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
You're perfect. Her parents would walk in the door that
second Lyda came over and sat down next to me.
Speaker 3 (54:04):
I'm not perfect, but I guess I'm okay. You could
take something off my socks, sure, maybe even your watch.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
I took off everything except my underpants. I fell crazed
with nervousness. I just hadn't been prepared for anything like this.
We lay down on her bed and started kissing the
way we usually do, but it was completely different. I
could feel all of Lida's body everything. It was as
if she didn't have anything on. Well. Yeah, I let
(54:39):
my hands run over her except under her bikini underpants.
Speaker 3 (54:42):
I was afraid she might not like that.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Her breasts are great. She's wrong, They're perfect. Everything about
her is perfect. There was only one thing I was
sure I was gonna come. I tried thinking of something
completely unsexy, like the paper I had don history next week,
but it didn't work.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Do you want me to touch you?
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Sure? She flipped her hand under my underpants and put
it on my com She she gently, like she was
afraid it would hurt me or something.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
Is that okay?
Speaker 2 (55:22):
Yeah, it's great. I was having trouble talking. I was
scared of my pass hour or something. Oh god, that
she was stroking it up and down. It's funny in
a way. It wasn't as good as when I do
myself because if you've jerked off enough, obviously you learn
how to make yourself come pretty quickly. But the fact
(55:45):
that it was Leeda doing it made me so excited.
I felt like I was gonna go crazy. I tried
to move to one side when I came because I
was afraid I'd get the junk. The junk, not the chunk,
not the jup. Oh my god, I want to die. Anyway,
he's spoo just on her hand and she just kind
(56:10):
of hangs out and uh, they're like have a downbeat
and they say they love each other. And that's nice.
Speaker 3 (56:20):
Oh, I wasn't expecting that.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
Well, it makes me kind of nervous because I feel
like Burger's whole thesis is the way that you get
a girl to go all the way with you is
by telling her you love her. But I do think
that because we get it so clearly from Joel's perspective, Like,
I don't think he's being tricky with that. I think
he actually does feel that way about her. Yeah, but
(56:45):
that's nice. The post nut clarity is they love each other.
And I thought this was sweet and I feel like
I felt this feeling before. But he's just like looking
at her and he's like, she's so beautiful, She's perfect.
He said, this sounds strange, but I was scared if
I stopped looking at her, she would vanish into the
(57:05):
wall and I would wake up at home in bed.
I'm like, that's so sweet. It's like really nice coming
from disgusting. Joels is so sweet and this is the
dichotomy of straight men. They're the grossest, shittiest people you've
ever heard of, and also it's very sweet. Eventually, Burger calls,
saying he's not dead. He just twisted his ankle and
(57:27):
ran away. I guess, well, we went to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (57:31):
And then uh.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
Leita is worried that maybe Burger and Danny didn't get along.
She says that Burger reminds Danny of her last boyfriend
and her last boyfriend, Danny's last boyfriend, h Danny thought
she was pregnant, and the last boyfriend thought that she
did that to like trap him, which is wow, huge
lore drop. But then also that is like the funny,
(57:54):
the interesting counter story to what Joel is saying. Oh
pardon me, what Burger is saying, because Burger's whole premise
is the way you trap someone into going all the ways,
you tell them you love them, you want to marry them,
you wanted this, you wanted that. And then there's a
girl analog where I guess they're saying that boys think
is that like when girls want to trap you, they
say they're pregnant. I thought that was an interesting.
Speaker 3 (58:16):
Oh verlel Good.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
Notice, Yeah, Jol's dumb as hell because Jol's like, what
why did why did she? How could she have gotten pregnant? Bobo?
Speaker 3 (58:32):
How do you think it must have been a toilet
seat she tripped and fell on some john.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
And then they kind of like leave that story. They're like, yeah,
I guess she wasn't pregnant, but his parents are really mad,
and he was really mad at Danny. It's like, yeah,
you know what, Honestly I would be weird after that too.
Speaker 3 (58:50):
This is another age cap story.
Speaker 2 (58:53):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (58:55):
Uh. He was her parents' carpenter and used to fix
up things at their country house and she kind of
grew up knowing him, So I'm assuming that means he was,
you know, the older guy working on the house while
she was growing up.
Speaker 2 (59:12):
Though I think I'm picturing the relationship is like he's
like Moose from Are You There? God, it's me, Margaret.
Like he's only like tiny bit older.
Speaker 3 (59:20):
So maybe he was like twelve doing some roofing.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
No, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 3 (59:27):
But he did seem like a shirpa in some ways,
like he taught her how to mountain climb and ski.
Then they just started fucking it.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
Do be happening that way?
Speaker 3 (59:38):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (59:38):
They decide that her parents are coming home soon, so
they got to get dressed, and Joel said, I was
sorry to see her breast disappear.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
Bye bye bye.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
She is like, were you surprised when I took my
clothes off? And he's like yeah. She she just kept
like saying like, I know you were disappointed about us
not being able to bang it out, so I wanted
to give you like this like consolation prize. Hmmm. And
that's funny and weird. And I don't know how to
(01:00:12):
feel about that, because like I want her to be
cool and have sexual agency and whatever, but I also
remember what it felt like to be fifteen and uh
really liking a boy. So I don't know, man, I
think it's a little from column, a little from columb.
Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Yeah, like we hope she's not just doing stuff like
that to keep him interested, you know, totally.
Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
I hope like she's into it too, which, like I
think most ninety nine percent of the science point to
her also being interested. Yeah, so yeah, we'll see. But anyway, Uh,
that's kind of the end of it. Joel goes home
and he hopes that their parents will go his parents,
her parents will go away so they can do it
for real. At the end of the chapter, ooh ooh,
(01:00:57):
any last words, Oh, I do want to plug depending
And when this comes out, I'm gonna be part of
this thing called If you're at La Bloomheads, I'm gonna
be part of this thing called the Lost Feels Writers Festival.
It's a two day festival in La and I'm going
It's from August twenty third to twenty fourth, and I'll
be reading a piece on the twenty third, and then
(01:01:19):
on the twenty fourth, which is a Sunday, I'm gonna
be hosting literary trivia at the Bar to Boula Rasa
at three pm on Sunday, August twenty fourth. So if
you want to come down and say hello, come do trivia.
I will definitely put a g bloom question in there,
just in case any Bloomheads show up. But yeah, that'll
(01:01:40):
be where you can find me.
Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
That's awesome and we do have quite a few La Bloomheads,
so perfect. Okay, this should come out and you can
even meet Mollie.
Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Yeah that's a meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Great, I'm just offering you up.
Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
But yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
You can be in the same room as Molly at
the very least.
Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
No, we can meet. I'd love to say hello.
Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
And then did you want to talk about your old Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Yes? And I was also recently a guest on an
old millennials podcast episode, Sister Pod Old Millennials, but it's
behind a paywall. It's for their patreons only. They did
a series where they're breaking down every episode of the
Sex and the City sequel and just like that. And
as you might imagine, I have really strong feelings about that.
So definitely come listen to that. Throw some money at
(01:02:30):
old Millennials. They are worth it. They're an amazing sister podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
Yeah, awesome, great bloom Heads. Be sure to check that
out and Mollie, you'll post on Instagram right, I will
remind people of your appearances.
Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
I will, I will will.
Speaker 3 (01:02:47):
Okay, okay, thanks, everyone write us letters. We need to
re up on our letter what's the word cash. Yeah,
so bloom Saloon at gmail dot com. But you can
also just send us a dam on Instagram on Facebook
and we'll take it there. Okay, we love you.
Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Bye bye
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I'm Jody and I'm Mollie.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
And you're listening to the Bloom Saloon.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
It's a Judy Bloom book club.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
Welcome back, bloom heads. We're here reading a non Judy author. Today.
We're reading Norma Kline Beginner's Love. This is her nineteen
eighty three novel, and I just I keep looking at
the back of my book and I really like this
this headline. I know that practice makes perfect, but what
(00:44):
about the first time? That is a copywriting gold right?
Speaker 2 (00:50):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
As a copywriter? What do you think?
Speaker 2 (00:55):
How do I read it? Yeah? But what about the
first time? I love? It?
Speaker 3 (01:00):
Makes you think? Do you think these two chapters made
me think, I'm glad we're getting into a little bit
of sexy time. You told me that these chapters get
a little sexy, and I got a little. I got
a little too excited, and then I still want more.
(01:20):
Do you know what I mean? We'll get there, but
so does Joel. Yeah, yeah, we have that in common.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Before we get into that, should we do our Judy minudi,
which is where we take a minute or more or
less to talk about the most beauty bloom thing that
happened to us this week?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Yes, we should let's have you go first again.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
So I was gonna do a very wholesome one about
my friend just got a new jeep and when she
picks me up in my jeep in her jeep, I
just feel like so excited and happy, and it feels
like very high school. I would assume if I had
friends who had cars in high school horny or one,
which is I feel boy crazy right now and that
(02:02):
feels very Judy Bloom esque. I feel like Stephanie in
just as long as We're together looking at the Benjamin
Moore poster. I don't know. I guess I've just been
feeling kind of dormant for the last couple of weeks.
I don't know if it's been like sad because I
got laid off or just busy with other stuff, but
(02:22):
I haven't really thought about dudes too much in the
last couple of weeks. And then last night, yesterday during
the day, I saw the Superman movie and I'm like, wow,
yum yum yum, Like this man is so handsome, he's
so nice. I'm so fairal for this movie. And then
(02:43):
I started watching the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift interview and say,
what you will about that. That is like it's an
encapsulation of what it's like to date a straight man
in that Like he'll be talking about her and he'll
be like, yeah, I'm just like I was so gold
with curiosity about you. I was so addressed by you,
(03:06):
and then seconds later he's like, yeah, I was so
butt hurt by you. I liked you so much. It's like, okay,
to have a straight man obsessed with you is to
hear but in the same sentence and it makes me
yearn So that's how I know I'm really straight. It's
like I listened to stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
I'm like, yeah, but hurt.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It's like, buddy, that's not even what that means. You're
so weird.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Oh that's kind of how I felt when I'm bringing
this back to Mormon wives again. But there was like
a they did, you know, like one of the like
talking head interviews with Taylor's like baby Daddy Dakota and
then sure, and he his whole thing is that he
cheated on her when they were still when it was
(03:57):
early days, you know, like they hadn't really solidified exclusivity yet.
He's like, yeah, we just dry humped, and I was
like you are a twenty I don't know, seven year
old man, just like using dry hump a sentence without
any flinching. It was they do be like that, Yeah,
(04:20):
do you need to put a poster of Superman on
your ceiling?
Speaker 2 (04:25):
I did downward didn't save a picture of him from
the internet last night, Like, let me just have this.
I don't know what for, but oh my god, say
the Superman movie real good? Go see it please?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Okay, I kind of want to. Now wait, who even
plays him?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Uh, it's this young man named David corn Sweat, which
is probably like straight man. Last name Jenitrator. Yes, but honestly,
Superman movie super duper good. It's really great see it.
And then oogle, but yeah, that's a good looking man
corn Sweat. It's like my name, Uh it is Philip
(05:10):
boot Leather, my name Jason Football.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Jacket, Jeremy Dragon, Jeremy Dragon, my Judy Minudi. I don't know.
I've had a lot of them because my mom's been
in town. Mom comes in the Bay Area for a
month usually every August, and we do all sorts of
fun activities and so like every day I'm like, ooh,
(05:38):
this is kind of a Judy Minudi. But I think
the most one is that I have had the pimple
of all pimples, It's like the kind with like three
and one hat. So I've been using pimple patches, but
I have really embraced wearing the pimple patches in public,
(05:59):
so that I think that's.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Oh, that's a good one. I think that's gen Z's
best contribution to culture is visible pimple patches totally.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I haven't gone into like the shapes or like the
patterns yet. I'm still doing the clear, which is kind
of pointless because you still see the pimple. So yeah,
I think I have to go to opaque patterned star Fine.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
They're fun, They're just they're just I feel like they're
putting them on their face when they don't even have pimples,
just as almost like a like Marie Antoinette fashion statement.
Oh totally, and I'm into it.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
Shall we do norm investigation? Okay? So this one is
also from our anonymous contributor and Norma expert Kleinstein. Last
week they sent us a really lovely and moving tribute
(07:19):
from Norma's husband after she died, written in nineteen eighty nine,
and then today we have a letter, an exclusive letter
written to Kleinstein. Whoa from Ellene fi Olsen? Who is
who was Norma's autobiographer? Or wait, no, wouldn't it be biographer?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Okay, Ellen says, I am wondering if you were planning
to write something about Klein. She's saying this to Kleinstein.
I would welcome more scholarly attention to her. Although I
recently wrote a chapter for a scribner's reference book, I
do not anticipate writing anything more, at least of an
ambitious nature myself. Of course, that could change, but it
(08:05):
seems most unlikely. While I would like, in some ways
the opportunity to write a more frank and forthright treatment
than what is found in my presenting book that's her biography,
I do not see that there is sufficient interest at
the moment. I am, in fact, rather disappointed in what
appears to be the sharp decline in readership since her death.
(08:27):
If I am mistaken in this perception, I would joyfully
accept information. On the contrary. One of the keenest disappointments
I felt at her death was that there would be
now no further development of her adult fiction. Something I
said in my book that pleased her. No end was
that she was still a developing writer whose best books
had not yet been written. How sadly wrong I was.
(08:49):
Although I was not fully aware of this at the
time I knew her, I have since learned that she
felt a certain second class literary citizenship in being known
for her teen books. She yearned for recognition in the
adult field and felt her established reputation worked against her
efforts there. It is impossible to know what Norma might
(09:10):
or might not have developed into. She had fine narrative skills,
a wonderful ear for rhythms of speech, and a delicious
sense of humor. Her characterizations were frequently memorable. However, there
was a certain lack of balance in her, a tendency
to mount her soapbox, and of compulsion to be outrageous
that frequently got the better of her esthetics.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
HM.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
The last contact I had with the Klein family was
a telephone conversation with her husband shortly after her death.
He called me one Sunday afternoon out of the blue,
which I most appreciated, and had a long conversation. I
was very impressed with him, both through the telephone and
what she had earlier told me. I understand, however, that
some of her friends felt he was not as understanding
(09:56):
of her problems as he might have been. Norma liked
to paint a cosey picture of her family life, both
in her father's household and her own. Reality was as
always more complex. In her fiction, she started using more
and more of the dysfunction she felt in the household
of her childhood. I have not determined the degree she
(10:16):
may have used her relationship with her husband and children
in her fiction. Klein was a prolific writer, as you know,
possibly even a compulsive one. A difficulty I had in
writing my book was that she produced fiction almost faster
than I could review it and incorporate my impressions into
the book. I understand she left many many writings in
(10:37):
various stages of completion, while only a few have been
published since her death. I do not know what any
future plans for editing and publishing may be. Probably you
are better informed than I on this one. Having recently
visited with her mother about Norma's death, it was, of
course suicide. Jeez.
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:58):
Her family had difficulty admitting it at the time. Some
of her friends felt that Frankness would have been more
a credit to her memory, but she herself was not
always frank. On the surface, Norma had everything going for
her as she reached fifty. She had a fine income,
seemingly good physical health, celebrity, a mother and daughters, and
(11:19):
a working marriage. She knew interesting people and seemed to
have an enviable life, but her own perceptions were frequently different.
Possibly her book The World As It Is expresses some
of the feelings she had about herself. Some of her
friends thought so, but it is a highly fictionalized narrative too.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, so that is about half of this letter. We'll
save the half for next week. But this is so
interesting and sad and chock full of information we would
never find elsewhere.
Speaker 2 (11:49):
Yeah, that is such an interesting primary source. And obviously,
like couch, all of this and this is people talking
about Norma. Norma's not here to defend herself or say
what was going on, So none of this I think
should be taken as like definitive. But wow, it sure
(12:13):
seems like the evidence is mounting up for kind of
the cause of death.
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Yeah, man, you know, I understand why Kleinstein didn't want
to share this information with us years ago when we
first read it, But you know, I want to remind
everybody that they recently went to the University of Minnesota
library and all these letters, I mean not these particular letters,
(12:39):
but letters of similar nature and papers and manuscripts were
there ready for the public. So I think Kleinstein feels
a little more comfortable, Yeah, putting this out there. Yeah,
it is such a Oh god, what a tragedy that
Norma's not here to tell her own story. It does
sound like the by biography it's worth reading, but this
(13:02):
biographer also seems to hint that it's quite incomplete. This
is the biggest mystery I think we've ever encountered on
the Bloom Saloon.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Totally.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
My gosh, that's so interesting, and it makes me so
sad that she felt like this literary second class citizen.
One of her biggest contemporaries and buddies was Judy, who
really did step back and forth between ya and adult
and children, And so it is possible, and maybe it
(13:37):
was just a confidence thing, or I wonder if Jud's
ever gave her any advice on that.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Oh yeah, I would be so interested to know. Hmm. Oh,
poor Norma.
Speaker 3 (13:49):
Yeah, Norma, we love your books. We're loving Beginner's Love
and we thank you for writing it.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Thank you, and thanks Kleinstein for sharing this with us.
This is really appreca your research work PhD and Norma Kleine. Yes,
you know, I don't know for the kind of podcast
that says something like this, but just in case we are, uh,
if you are listening to this and you are feeling
a type of way about this discussion, the suicide crisis
(14:19):
line is you can either call or text nine to
eight eight. It's really simple and there are people there
that can you can be connected with who can.
Speaker 3 (14:27):
Help you with Thank you so much for saying that.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Okay, so we have all the usual suspects today. We
have Joel, who's the narrator. We have who is seventeen.
We have Leda who is his girlfriend. Now I guess
who is also seventeen. We have Burger, who is Joel's
best friend, also seventeen. He's a riz master hold for plane. Okay,
(15:21):
it's gone. Uh. Then we have Joel's dad whose name
is Franklin and he's a food critic. Then we have
Joel's mom whose name is Nan and she's a gallerina.
And then hot New Bombshell entering the villa. We have
Gerald Hartley Finn, who is Mom's first husband who is
(15:43):
now spoiler alert dead.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
He's a professor. We get a pretty big lore drop
about that one. Uh. And then we have Danielle, who
is Lda's friend, who is busty and bookish, and also
we get a Laura drop about her. So I think
that's pretty much though, all the characters we have in
these chapters. Oh, and Simon and Garfunckle, we were also there.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
Somewhere and the couple. Oh, I'm doing it under the
blanket at Simon and Garfunckle.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
And one of those people in the couple is also
named Joel. I think so too. Joel's exactly what we
didn't ask for.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
All right. Chapter six it's Rasha Shana time, so around
late September ish, I guess we're fast forwarding a few
weeks and Joel comes home from school to find his
mommy crying.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Cry.
Speaker 3 (16:42):
Oh. He's like, this is not normal. First of all,
she's home from work early, and second, she's not a crier.
She's usually very composed and she's definitely not a floor crier.
M can't relate. But this is the day we learn
about Gerald Gerald Gerald. What's his full name again, Gerald
(17:05):
Hartley Finn, Gerald Hartley Finn. So this is ex husband Gerald,
who she married when she was nineteen and he was
in his forties.
Speaker 2 (17:16):
Uh oh.
Speaker 3 (17:18):
The age gaps continued always.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I know, they're really like smacking you on the head
with the two by four being like, this is a
book about age gaps.
Speaker 3 (17:27):
Yep, yep, yep. I feel like Joel's like, see there's
a room for me and hope after all. Ohhh okay,
so Gerald, like I said, he's the ex husband. Joel
always forgets that his mom used to be married, which
I always find so interesting. And you know, when I
(17:50):
was growing up, I always wondered about this from friends
whose parents had whole other lives before, you know, their
current family, and it always seemed so exotic, and I
just felt like I wanted to know how that felt,
you know, as the kid of someone who had another
family maybe or you know, like how to And I
(18:11):
know that's very common now, it's more common than it
ever was, but I think growing up it was not
that common, and it just seemed like to me more.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
If you have a story like that, please call in
or send us a letter. I'd love to know too.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
The closest I get to that is now, So my
mom's rried to Richard. Richard has a son whose name
is Tyler, who's on my brother's also his name is Tyler.
But sometimes Tyler will look at a picture of like
my mom's family before she married Richard, and he goes, oh,
that's your real dad home Like, okay, well, there's no yes,
(18:48):
but I don't have a fake dad.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Funny like that totally. I have a kind of I
mean it's kind of related, but not really. But my
mom has a boyfriend, I mean they've been together like
ten years, and he has a bunch of grandkids, and
so my mom has this whole other family that I
don't know about, and they call her. The grandkids call
(19:11):
her Nana Sally, And I'm like, you're a grandmother too
to people that I probably will never meet because we
all live in different areas. And you know, my sister
and I didn't produce any grandchildren, and my mom's not
really like a maternal grandmotherly type, so she doesn't This
(19:31):
isn't like the biggest thrill in her life to have grandkids.
But it is very weird that like she's like Christmas
shopping for the grandkids and oh my honey, but you're
my mom's.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
You're my mom.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
Yeah. But anyway, Joel doesn't think this whole storied past
is exotic at all. Like all he can picture is
his mom married to a little old Nan being pushed
around in a wheel chair by a nurse. And I'm like, rude,
this man was only eighty two. Yeah, Gerald has died.
(20:09):
Mom is really sad, but not just because he died.
She has all these complicated feelings because it turns out
Gerald must have still held a torch for Joel's mom,
Nan her name is after all these years, because he
had bequeathed her a bunch of art books he'd been
(20:30):
collecting and saving just for her.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
That's nice. I wonder if it's like a portrait of
a lady on fire type situation where he like circled
certain things for her to like, I still love you.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
Oh maybe maybe. And you know interesting that he didn't
Oh wait, no, his wife after Nan had died, right, this.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Is freaky diky. So he had a first wife who
I don't know if it says let me look, it
says the first he So Mom was his third wife.
The first wife killed herself.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And then the woman he married after Mom also died
and it says I think she died to some kind
of accident. So potentially she was a serial killer. Yeah,
I think. And Mom escaped with her life. But like,
(21:34):
maybe if you put together the things he underlined in
the art books, like it says like it confesses to
his crimes the jinx style. I don't trust this. Something
spooky's happening here.
Speaker 3 (21:47):
Yes, I thought the same mom is. You know, Mom's
very touched by this. She has positive feelings towards Gerald,
but she's racked with guilt for leaving him because basic
she ran off with Joel's dad. Yeah, and then dad.
Speaking of dad, he comes home from work and then
(22:08):
they have this whole combo that really drove me up
the wall. So we'll read it. But okay, first, there's
a sidebar about how Joel is a vegetarian, which I
like him a little more.
Speaker 2 (22:19):
Now, well, are you sure because two paragraphs later he's like,
because I'm a vegetarian, Mom makes fish and chicken for me.
It's like, wait, baby, do you think those are vegetables? Wait?
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Wait? Wait, I thought he was saying she makes it
for herself, like she's stopping eating red meat.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
More so, listen to this so okay. On page forty six,
he says he's a vegetarian because he watched this documentary
in social studies about how they slaugh her cows, and
dad is mad about Joel not eating beef. And then
it says Mom's a little better. She tries to get
(23:02):
fish and chicken more than she used to, but sometimes
she forgets and they have steak. I don't care. I
just don't eat with them those nights. So this collection
of sentences makes me think he eats the fish and
the chicken. Tell me I'm weird for thinking that, because I.
Speaker 3 (23:19):
No, No, I think we could go either way, because
I did read it the other way. But like, I
think it's very unclear.
Speaker 2 (23:26):
I was like, in the eighties, did they only think
that steak was meat, like if it wouldn't count as
a meat in like a video game graphic.
Speaker 3 (23:34):
It doesn't totally, no, But I do get that sometimes,
and it is from like older generation, like people's parents,
you know, Like I'll go to dinner at someone's house
and I'll be like, oh, I don't eat meat, and
they'll be like, well, how about chicken. I'm like, that
is meat interesting? Yeah, I think if it doesn't have
(23:56):
four legs, then it's fair gay.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Okay. My cousin was a vegetarian for a while, and
she would be a pescatarian because she's like, well, I
feel like fish have a chance to get away. That's funny.
I don't think that quite tracks because I know you
can farm fish too, but oh yeah, that was clever.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah. Yeah, I do eat fish sometimes, but I don't
say I'm a pescatarian because that means that people will
think I just want to eat fish for every meal
and I don't really like fish. But as my friend
Beth says, it started with me being bivalve curious, so
I would do like the muscles and oysters.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Well, we have to call this episode by valve Carrie.
Soid oh, man, I get it, I get it. Sorry,
I derailed you.
Speaker 3 (24:49):
No, No, I love a good analysis. So Mom, Dad,
and Joel are sitting around discussing this Gerald situation.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Darling, I guess I just don't quite understand. I think
it's such a nice thing for Gerald to have done.
Speaker 3 (25:05):
I know, and here I've hardly thought of him for years.
I treated him so badly.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
You didn't treat him badly.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
I left him, I betrayed him.
Speaker 2 (25:17):
He was thirty years older than your mom, right, how
could that have lasted? If anything, he took advantage of you,
of your youth and inexperience.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
What do you mean in what way?
Speaker 2 (25:33):
I mean he used the fact that he was your
professor to know you with all he knew about art.
He gave you a long song and dance about how
miserable his marriage had been.
Speaker 3 (25:45):
But it was he was miserable. Frank his wife used
to bring lovers home and they'd be there when he
came home from work.
Speaker 2 (25:54):
Okay, forget the taking advantage part.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
I don't know how you can say something like that. There.
I was lonely, hating college, and he was one person
who was kind to me, who tried to show me
a way out, who gave me confidence in myself. And
how did I reward that?
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So we should we have not gotten married?
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Of course we should have gotten married. That has nothing
to do with it.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
I seem to be emerging as the villain in this,
abducting this gentle young thing from you. Did, darling, you
wanted to? I didn't.
Speaker 3 (26:32):
That makes it worse. I know, I wanted to let
me keep good.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
I have a great idea, let's go up for ice cream? Mark.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah. So, so I just feel like Joel and Dad
are really dismissing Mom's feelings here, and Dad is so narcissistic.
He turns it around on himself like I'm the victim,
and it's like, come on, allow your wife to have
like sad, complicated feelings. I mean, maybe she was you know,
(27:08):
uh seduced or whatever we want is groomed by this
older professor, But like why, you know, why bring that
up now? It's not gonna help matters.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
Yeah, I think I think I think it is insensitive
to bring it up when she's clearly so sad and
I it's so hard to know because we don't. This
is also because this is pretend, but it's just like
what was she groomed? Because it also I think there's
(27:38):
a way to read this of like, oh, he was
such a monster, how dare he talk to her about art? Well? Right,
but it is funky, like a man in his forties
getting together with like essentially a teenager. So I think
(28:00):
there's an element that I don't think Dad is wrong.
And also if I was the spouse of this person
and I was the person that they dated and married
after this person and they were so sad about like
what did I do to him? I think I would
get a little offended, even if you know, it was
clearly said in grief, Like I I would feel a
(28:21):
little offended about what about me? Yeah, but I think
it's tactless to be talking about it that way at
this second.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
Yeah, And like I think there's a difference between offense
and like defense. I don't know, he's just getting like,
don't blame me. It's a But what I love about
this conversation is it's like so real. Of course, people
react in stupid ways or irrational ways, and you know,
back to the age gap thing. This was written in
(28:53):
nineteen eighty three, and it was like a lot less taboo.
Oh yeah, I have these age gaps. And you know,
if you look at any film of the era, and
any couple on screen had probably like a at least
a twenty.
Speaker 2 (29:07):
Year I mean, my mom will casually tell stories about
She's like, oh yeah, my high school friend married our
high school teacher, which she was in college, so like.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, oh bluemhads.
We want to hear about that stuff too.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
Because I feel like, yeah, as long as everyone's okay, oh.
Speaker 3 (29:26):
Yeah, yeah, we don't want to hear like traumatic stories.
But there was always the student here.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
I'll tell a fun one. My friend had a gossip
from her hometown and it was her friend she went
to high school with. They've been out of high school
maybe five ten years now. Posted this picture on Facebook
of her with this guy and was like so happy
to be with him. We were having a great Christmas
(29:54):
or whatever. And my friend looked at it and she goes,
is that mister Peterson was their social studies teacher? Mister
Peterson and they met at like a bar again five
years after everyone had graduated, five ten years after everyone
had graduated. But all of the comments from her like
(30:16):
high school friends were like what is mister Peterson? And
so she took it down and then a couple days
later she's like, you got me, I'm Daster Peterson and
now they're engaged. Every time we see an age gap relationship,
I text my friend and I'm like, very mister Peterson code,
(30:38):
It's so funny.
Speaker 3 (30:39):
Was mister Peterson hot?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
No? Oh okay, no, offense to mister Peterson and or
his fiance. But I've seen hot teachers before, this is
not one of them. Yeah, but it did happen again
like ten years after everybody had graduated.
Speaker 3 (30:56):
Everything day. As far as I could tell, that's the
wholesome version.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
But I like that she posted a picture of the
bacheorette party and it had one of those banners that
said like same dick forever. And my friend was like,
don't say that about mister Peterson's this is terrible.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
Same dick forever.
Speaker 2 (31:15):
I've never said, oh, it's a really I hate this message,
but uh, it's like edgy bacheorette messaging that's going around
right now, and especially Chris, when it's your social studies.
Speaker 3 (31:27):
Teacher, one wants to think about mister Peterson's dick.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
I crazy kids are happy together.
Speaker 3 (31:33):
Wow, that's a good one, Molly, thank you anytime. Okay,
So so yeah, Joel and Dad go to ice cream.
They let this irrational emotional woman deal with her feelings
on her own on the floor. They eat some gourmet
ice cream. Dad is a food snob. Remember only Michelin
(31:56):
stars for Dad, and this place makes their ice cream
like to order, like on the spot is is it
a cold Stone situation? Are they mixing in the burnt
almonds in front of you? Maybe let's not not mention
the burnt almond flavoring. That sounds very weird and bad.
(32:19):
Joel gets a hot fudge Sunday and we have this
real father son moment with Dad reveals how he got
together with mom and this is all This is all
news to Joel. He was like, I thought you just
met at a party, which is half the story. Yeah,
we met at a party. I was the bartender.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
The bartender.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
I was twenty one, just out of college, no do,
kind of floundering about what to do in my next life.
A friend said his wealthy couple needed a bartender for
a big party they were giving, So I figured why not.
I bought a book on how to mix drinks when
I was afraid people would come up to me and
ask for Tila sunrises and Bolshoy punches. Actually most of
(33:06):
them just had straight scotch or bloody Mary's sidebar.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I love. There was a time in my life where
I really got down on a night time bloody Mary,
so I would have really enjoyed this party.
Speaker 3 (33:17):
I was gonna say I've never done that.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Oh yeah, I really burnt my stomach lining out for
a couple of years going hard on Bloody Mary's.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
But yeah, because if you drink it at night and
then you lie down soon after, it gets stuck in
your esophaguess.
Speaker 2 (33:33):
It was when I was like twenty three. I never
had a GI track problem in my whole life, and
I was just ordering Bloody Mary's at night like a animal.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
We're like, that's my quirk.
Speaker 2 (33:45):
It really was. And now, unfortunately, and this is a
PSA to everyone in my life to stop. But because
I went so hard on it in my early twenties,
everybody buys me like Bloody Mary merch and Bloody Mary
like kits and stuff, and so I have that capacity
much now and I don't even drink Bloody Mary's anymore.
So everydy stop. But man, we had a really good run,
(34:06):
Joel says. So mom was at the party.
Speaker 3 (34:09):
No, she gave it, she and Gerald. I remember I
rang the doorbell and this girl answered, wearing a red dress,
her hair loose. The thought for sure she was the daughter.
She said, I'm missus. Finn was her husband, like really old,
not especially the distinguished type graying temples, custom made suits,
(34:30):
even a vest. Maybe the whole thing overwhelmed me. Though
a nine room apartment on Park Avenue antiques, I thought
they must be millionaires. Actually they were well off. Gerald
had money from his family, but not the way it
seemed to me then. All my friends were living in
furnace rooms with kitchens in the living room. In my apartment,
(34:52):
the bathtub was in the kitchen, if you can picture it.
How come they couldn't figure out where to put it?
It was a railroad walk up. So this seemed like
a real elegance in this gorgeous young woman married to
this old man. He seemed old to me then, and
he was probably younger than I am now. Anyhow, I
just kept staring at her all evening, couldn't figure it
(35:15):
out why she'd married him, what she was doing there?
I thought she must have married him for his money,
did she? No, not, really, It was what I said.
He snowed her with all his culture quote unquote. He
didn't lunge at her like the men she met in college.
He was urbane, sophisticated. God knows. Anyhow, towards the end
(35:38):
of the evening, she came over to me, she said,
you've been staring at me all evening? Is there a reason?
She seemed nervous, and I said, why did you marry
him when you're young? You say those things? I figured,
why did I have to lose? I thought I'd never
see her again. She turned bright red and walked away.
(35:59):
I was scared they might not even pay me for
the evening, that I was gonna that she was gonna
kick me out on the spot. But when the evening
was over, she took me aside and gave me the money.
I started to apologize and said, sorry about before. That
was dumb. It's just that you're so beautiful. And she
just looked at me a long time. Then she said,
(36:20):
I teach at Nightingale, Bamford. It's a school for girls
on East ninety second. I went home, and all of
a sudden, while I was lying in bed, it came
to me. She told me where she worked, so if
I wanted I could see her again, did you I
showed up there at three o'clock the next Monday.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Yeah, and we fell madly in love. And she left
poor urbane old Gerald in his Paisley vest and we
got married.
Speaker 2 (36:46):
Yeah. And then this is where the low drop happens
about Mom being his third wife. Yeah, and all of
the other serial.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Killershito, black Dolly uh or no, wait no, black black
Dahlia wasn't the murderer. Wait, who's the who's Oh, black widow,
black widow.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
There you go.
Speaker 3 (37:12):
So they go home after ice cream, and Mom's doing better.
She's she's crawled off the floor, she's dusted herself at
off and she says that Lida called while they were out.
There's a part about Dad like swooning over the name Lida.
He's like, does she have a long, milky white neck?
Speaker 2 (37:33):
And like this is a family of pervs.
Speaker 3 (37:36):
Yes, And then Mom reminds them that, like literally, she says,
swan rape is nothing to swoon over, and the logic
is not there. Why would getting raped by a swan
give you a milky white, long neck. Dad's stupid. Joel
calls Lida and they plan to see Simon and garfue
(38:00):
Uncle in Central Park. Iconic This is oh so jealous,
me too. We learned that Joel and Lida have been
talking every night and they've hung out three times so far,
So I guess, yeah, are their boyfriend girlfriends?
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (38:17):
Oh, and Lida is also a vegetarian, and this is
very cute. She has a photo of a cow that
she once met on her wall and her rude mother
took it down because she thought it's weird to have
a photo of a cow on your wall, and Lida
put it back up.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
Her mom is like, how dare you have a picture
of a cow on your wall? Take it off and
put up that busty picture of you from the play. Yes,
there's a respectable house with your push up bra.
Speaker 3 (38:47):
So yeah. The plan for Simon and Garf is to
bring Burger and Danny and maybe they'll get together and
they'll meet at the park at ten am. And then
Joel gives Burger a call to let him know about
these plans, and Burger seems a little skeptical about Danny
because she's so quiet, but she's got bibes. Oh, and
(39:11):
this is very exciting news. Joel says that after the
concert they might go back to Leeda's house because her
parents are out of town. And you know what that
means Oija boards?
Speaker 2 (39:41):
All right, well, chapter seven, Now, chapter seven gave me
anxiety for people pre cell phone. Yes, like pre cell phone,
you just lose people all the time.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Forever and sometimes you don't even find them, yeah, like
like you know, at the start of the event.
Speaker 2 (40:06):
Oh yeah, or that oh yeah. So Joel and Berger
go to Central Park to meet Danny and Lida, and
they're looking for them on the Great Lawn. It's hard
to find them because it's a big, busy concert, but
they found them on a blanket. And I love this
(40:27):
description of Lida's outfit and I want to recreate this
exact outfit's She was in jeans and a bright pink
T shirt with some kind of dinosaur painted on it.
The T shirt was kind of tight, like yes, dream outfit.
Love this. Love Lida and her quirky shirts.
Speaker 3 (40:43):
She's a real Claudia Kishi.
Speaker 2 (40:45):
She is so Claudia Kish. But you know what, Leida
would probably be friends with Stacy because Stacy lived in
New York.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
Right right, and they're both sophisticated and have blonde, curly hair.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Head canon. I love this. So they're hanging out and
he's reading a book and they asked Danny what she's reading.
And keep in mind, this is ten am at a
Central Park at assimon A Garfel Cocons, and Danny's like,
it's about this girl who had to like it's about incest,
(41:16):
it's a true story, and Burger's like okay, and she goes,
she was traumatized for life, and even when she grew
up and got married, she still had all these nightmares.
But she didn't want her father to come to the wedding,
but he came anyway, and he got drunk. It's a
really sad story, like, oh, baby, not the venue. Not
(41:39):
the venue. But also, do y'all know what books she's
talking about, because hand to god, I did google eighties
incest book question mark. Oh, and the only thing that
kept coming up was Flowers in the Attic, So maybe
it's that. But I've never read Flowers in the Attic,
so I don't know if the things she's describing happened
in that book. So bluemheads, let us know flower.
Speaker 3 (42:01):
I haven't read Flowers in the Attic either, and I
can't believe I haven't. But it's brother sister, right, But maybe.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
The closest I could find. And this isn't a book
that came out in the eighties, but they're talking about
Mackenzie Phillips and her dad have a story like that. Yeah,
but that can be what she's talking about, So, I
don't know if you know what depressing ass book this
is referring to, let us know, Yeah, but Danny. I
(42:32):
appreciate Danny because that is a lot to say the
second time you're meeting someone.
Speaker 3 (42:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Apparently her and Lyda had been chowing down before the
boys got there, and they ate their whole picnic relatable queens.
They make a big deal about how Burger's really unhealthy.
And wait a minute, now I'm thinking about this. Did
Joel eat a hot dog because it's a I got
(43:00):
hot dogs and soda and some popcorn for Burger?
Speaker 3 (43:04):
Is that always that all for Burger?
Speaker 2 (43:06):
Okay, I don't know, unclear, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
They're so oh my gosh, Norma. She really makes us
think with her uh phrasing. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:14):
Anyway, So they're making a point about burgers so unhealthy,
and he says everything good is bad for you, and
God bless little earnest Danny. She goes, that's not true.
Books aren't bad for you, and Burger says, sure they are.
They pervert your mind, all that dirty stuff about girls
(43:36):
making it with their fathers. She says, it's it's psychological.
It makes you learn about human nature. And then the
next sentence, after saying books are psychological they make you
think about human nature, the next sentence is Joel going,
Danny does have big breasts, like yeah, yeah, read him
to filth Norma. Absolutely, Danny, hey relate to the bluemheads.
(44:02):
Danny gets a tummy ache and goes to the bathroom.
And the part of this chapter I appreciated was an
in depth description of the kinds of things they brought
in their picnic basket.
Speaker 3 (44:17):
Oh yeah, I was just waiting for you to talk about.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
This, which is eggplant sandwiches and grapes and this big
bag of late chocolate chip cookies. Yum. I love this.
Danny leaves and hasn't come back. They're worried, and then
Burger goes to look for her too, and as happens
when no one has cell phones, they kind of disappear
off the face of the earth and they don't see
(44:40):
the rest because Burger and Danny are gone off the
face of the earth. Joel and Lida start making out,
and Lida says.
Speaker 3 (44:51):
Maybe we should have come by ourselves.
Speaker 2 (44:54):
We can go back to your house after.
Speaker 3 (44:57):
Yeah, oh god, look at that.
Speaker 2 (45:00):
That's gross and it said, about six feet away from us,
this couple was under a blanket. Maybe they weren't actually fucking,
but they were certainly doing something similar.
Speaker 3 (45:10):
How can people do that? That's rude?
Speaker 2 (45:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Do you think they're gonna finish by the end of
the concert? Oh? God, I wish they'd stop. They're making
me so horny.
Speaker 2 (45:22):
I think this heel turn is so interesting. And I
don't know if Norma did it on purpose, because Leita
has two lines right before where she's saying, ugh, that's gross. Uh,
that's rude, and then she switches to saying it made
her feel horny. Yeah, And so I'm wondering, like, does
(45:42):
she I don't want to question it, because obviously I
know from firsthand experienced girls be horny, but I'm wondering
if what's being implied here is that she sees that
Joel is into it, so she kind of switches tact
it thought.
Speaker 3 (46:00):
What do you think I like that interpretation because I
do think she's a bit of a people pleaser. Yeah,
and I can see her switching to like make him
feel more comfortable, or to be like, yeah, yeah, I'm down,
you know, But also it could be like, oh, that's
so rude of them because I wish I was doing that.
Speaker 2 (46:23):
Well, I've no really had that thought. I mean, I
do think she's like confident throughout, and I'll do another
popcorn read of that, but I do hear the notes
of her thinking about how Joel is seeing things and
kind of deferring to him in a weird way or
a weird way, in like a way I think, whether
(46:46):
we want to or not, we've all done it.
Speaker 3 (46:49):
Certain totally, very much loud, how I've operated totally, especially.
Speaker 2 (46:58):
You know whom's among us when we were seven ten was.
Speaker 3 (47:01):
Like not doing shit like this, No, exactly.
Speaker 2 (47:05):
Anyway, So they keep watching the couple have sex. Apparently
one of the people in the couple is named Joel,
and they're saying Joel's name out loud in the throes
of passion, and uh, they still don't know where Burger
and Danny went. And there is a really funny moment
where I guess the concert starts and Joel and Lida
(47:29):
are talking about where the hell their friends are and
the couple that was fucking like tell them to be quiet.
Yeah yeah, and Lena goes, this is why I think
Leda's confident. She goes why don't you start fucking again? Yeah,
that hilarious, so funny. Good job get them.
Speaker 3 (47:46):
But then she's like, oh god, I'm awful. What a
crazy thing to say. I'm crazy.
Speaker 2 (47:51):
My god, she's so random. Yeah, and it is funny
that there's this undertone of like, also our friends are missing, yeah,
because eventually they find Danny, but they never find Burger.
I just leave it, just like, bye, let's leave Central Park.
Speaker 3 (48:15):
It's like, what are you gonna do? And I'm like,
how old were you when you first got a cell phone?
Speaker 2 (48:22):
Oh? I was in eighth grade. I don't know how
old you are then? Fourteen? Maybe?
Speaker 3 (48:30):
Yeah, So you have never like really experienced like a
true social life without a cell phone. Huh No.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
But what I did do before I had a cell
phone is if like something went wrong and I had
to like be picked up from school at a different time,
I would this is my aging me. I would go
to a payphone and I would call Collect yes to
my house, and instead of leaving a message, it would
be like, you have a Collect call from Hi, I'm
(48:57):
outside of the school and he got out early, Come
pick me up. Would you like to accept? Like, I
don't need to, I don't need to accept, she told
she did the drink that you were conveyed. Yes, you're right.
For the most part, I've always had a cell phone.
But tell tell me your law tell me.
Speaker 3 (49:14):
Okay, well, I mean I I didn't have a phone. Well, okay,
So when I moved to London my senior year of
high school, it was like Europe was ahead of America
in terms of like phones, So everyone had a Nokia
whatever whatever, pretty standard, but we did have like limited
(49:37):
like no one was really texting then. It was more
for like phone calls, but more for like emergencies or
quick like hey, let's meet up here, because everyone had
like minutes, you know, like no one wanted to go
over their minutes. So that was that. But then when
I went to college back in the US, nobody had
phones then, and so I didn't have a phone for
(49:58):
years and years and years. And then I was a
late adopter because I was just like antiphone for a
long time. I don't know why. So I didn't get
a real phone until I was about twenty five.
Speaker 2 (50:10):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (50:11):
Yeah, So I have a long history of being phoneless
and like lost situations exactly like this, you know, I
remember specifically because I went to college in Virginia and
my boyfriend went to college in New Jersey and we
used to for fun, we would go to like protests
(50:32):
in DC, just mostly for the social aspect. So he
and all his buddies came down to DC and then
I came up on my own from Virginia and we
had a loose plan to meet at like I don't know,
noon at so and so place, and I was just like,
this is never gonna work.
Speaker 2 (50:53):
But it worked.
Speaker 3 (50:54):
It was like it's magic when that does happen. But
I think you also go into it expect it not
to You got to have a plan be And then
there was another time we used to go to these
hippie festivals out in the woods, and I drove up
later than a bunch of my friends and we were
just kind of like, we'll find you because we didn't
realize how big it was going to be. And then
(51:16):
we get there and there's like thousands and thousands of people,
and so I spent a day like on my own,
like looking for them.
Speaker 2 (51:24):
Yeah my nightmare.
Speaker 3 (51:26):
Yeah, but you, but you're also so much more like
easy going. I think the phones do make us more
like anxious if the plan doesn't go to plan, you know,
and we and the sad thing is, we can never
go back to that. No, never, no, like even if
we try. Like everyone, you have to get everyone in
(51:48):
your circle on board not to have phones. And that's
very hard to do, so hard impossible.
Speaker 2 (51:55):
Hey, Hi at.
Speaker 1 (51:57):
Home, Crazy calls a tape of seven different songs and
funny recordings for answering machines.
Speaker 2 (52:06):
I am very sorry that I'm not at home to
take your call.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
On the fourteen ninety five, and I will get back
to your message. Give someone the gift of gad for
their answering machine and a friend. What you've actually done
is but one way ticket to the answering machines.
Speaker 2 (52:21):
On Nobody's Nobody's. I'm cold, but I'm not home, but
I'll be back fall too.
Speaker 1 (52:32):
Got Crazy calls a tape of seven different songs and
funny recordings for only fourteen ninety five.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
You gotta leave your name, you gotta leave.
Speaker 1 (52:44):
Call one eight hundred three five to one fifty two hundred.
Call one eight hundred three five one fifty two hundred.
Speaker 2 (52:54):
Like I said, they leave the park and the plan
is to go back to Leada's house and Joel's excited
because he thinks that Leida's parents are away for the weekend. Uh,
And she says, haha, No, they're just in New Jersey.
But they still have the huse themselves, so they're gonna
get down to it. They're in Leada's room, and Joela's
(53:18):
sad about her parents not being in Boston. And it says,
then Lida did this amazing thing. I was sitting on
the edge of her bed. She suddenly pulled her dinosaur
t shirt over her head, threw it on the floor,
unhooked her bra and threw that on the floor, and
got out of her jeans. She was just wearing a
pair of bikini underpants with little strawberries on them. She
(53:40):
looked at me and struck a pose her hands on her.
Speaker 3 (53:42):
Hip tetah preview of coming attractions.
Speaker 2 (53:48):
I was stunned. I couldn't believe it. I guess she
thought I was disappointed in the way she looked, because
she said.
Speaker 3 (53:53):
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not big like Danny.
Speaker 2 (53:57):
You're perfect. Her parents would walk in the door that
second Lyda came over and sat down next to me.
Speaker 3 (54:04):
I'm not perfect, but I guess I'm okay. You could
take something off my socks, sure, maybe even your watch.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
I took off everything except my underpants. I fell crazed
with nervousness. I just hadn't been prepared for anything like this.
We lay down on her bed and started kissing the
way we usually do, but it was completely different. I
could feel all of Lida's body everything. It was as
if she didn't have anything on. Well. Yeah, I let
(54:39):
my hands run over her except under her bikini underpants.
Speaker 3 (54:42):
I was afraid she might not like that.
Speaker 2 (54:44):
Her breasts are great. She's wrong, They're perfect. Everything about
her is perfect. There was only one thing I was
sure I was gonna come. I tried thinking of something
completely unsexy, like the paper I had don history next week,
but it didn't work.
Speaker 3 (55:03):
Do you want me to touch you?
Speaker 2 (55:05):
Sure? She flipped her hand under my underpants and put
it on my com She she gently, like she was
afraid it would hurt me or something.
Speaker 3 (55:21):
Is that okay?
Speaker 2 (55:22):
Yeah, it's great. I was having trouble talking. I was
scared of my pass hour or something. Oh god, that
she was stroking it up and down. It's funny in
a way. It wasn't as good as when I do
myself because if you've jerked off enough, obviously you learn
how to make yourself come pretty quickly. But the fact
(55:45):
that it was Leeda doing it made me so excited.
I felt like I was gonna go crazy. I tried
to move to one side when I came because I
was afraid I'd get the junk. The junk, not the chunk,
not the jup. Oh my god, I want to die. Anyway,
he's spoo just on her hand and she just kind
(56:10):
of hangs out and uh, they're like have a downbeat
and they say they love each other. And that's nice.
Speaker 3 (56:20):
Oh, I wasn't expecting that.
Speaker 2 (56:22):
Well, it makes me kind of nervous because I feel
like Burger's whole thesis is the way that you get
a girl to go all the way with you is
by telling her you love her. But I do think
that because we get it so clearly from Joel's perspective, Like,
I don't think he's being tricky with that. I think
he actually does feel that way about her. Yeah, but
(56:45):
that's nice. The post nut clarity is they love each other.
And I thought this was sweet and I feel like
I felt this feeling before. But he's just like looking
at her and he's like, she's so beautiful, She's perfect.
He said, this sounds strange, but I was scared if
I stopped looking at her, she would vanish into the
(57:05):
wall and I would wake up at home in bed.
I'm like, that's so sweet. It's like really nice coming
from disgusting. Joels is so sweet and this is the
dichotomy of straight men. They're the grossest, shittiest people you've
ever heard of, and also it's very sweet. Eventually, Burger calls,
saying he's not dead. He just twisted his ankle and
(57:27):
ran away. I guess, well, we went to the hospital.
Speaker 3 (57:31):
And then uh.
Speaker 2 (57:33):
Leita is worried that maybe Burger and Danny didn't get along.
She says that Burger reminds Danny of her last boyfriend
and her last boyfriend, Danny's last boyfriend, h Danny thought
she was pregnant, and the last boyfriend thought that she
did that to like trap him, which is wow, huge
lore drop. But then also that is like the funny,
(57:54):
the interesting counter story to what Joel is saying. Oh
pardon me, what Burger is saying, because Burger's whole premise
is the way you trap someone into going all the ways,
you tell them you love them, you want to marry them,
you wanted this, you wanted that. And then there's a
girl analog where I guess they're saying that boys think
is that like when girls want to trap you, they
say they're pregnant. I thought that was an interesting.
Speaker 3 (58:16):
Oh verlel Good.
Speaker 2 (58:18):
Notice, Yeah, Jol's dumb as hell because Jol's like, what
why did why did she? How could she have gotten pregnant? Bobo?
Speaker 3 (58:32):
How do you think it must have been a toilet
seat she tripped and fell on some john.
Speaker 2 (58:40):
And then they kind of like leave that story. They're like, yeah,
I guess she wasn't pregnant, but his parents are really mad,
and he was really mad at Danny. It's like, yeah,
you know what, Honestly I would be weird after that too.
Speaker 3 (58:50):
This is another age cap story.
Speaker 2 (58:53):
Oh my god.
Speaker 3 (58:55):
Uh. He was her parents' carpenter and used to fix
up things at their country house and she kind of
grew up knowing him, So I'm assuming that means he was,
you know, the older guy working on the house while
she was growing up.
Speaker 2 (59:12):
Though I think I'm picturing the relationship is like he's
like Moose from Are You There? God, it's me, Margaret.
Like he's only like tiny bit older.
Speaker 3 (59:20):
So maybe he was like twelve doing some roofing.
Speaker 2 (59:24):
No, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 3 (59:27):
But he did seem like a shirpa in some ways,
like he taught her how to mountain climb and ski.
Then they just started fucking it.
Speaker 2 (59:36):
Do be happening that way?
Speaker 3 (59:38):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (59:38):
They decide that her parents are coming home soon, so
they got to get dressed, and Joel said, I was
sorry to see her breast disappear.
Speaker 3 (59:48):
Bye bye bye.
Speaker 2 (59:51):
She is like, were you surprised when I took my
clothes off? And he's like yeah. She she just kept
like saying like, I know you were disappointed about us
not being able to bang it out, so I wanted
to give you like this like consolation prize. Hmmm. And
that's funny and weird. And I don't know how to
(01:00:12):
feel about that, because like I want her to be
cool and have sexual agency and whatever, but I also
remember what it felt like to be fifteen and uh
really liking a boy. So I don't know, man, I
think it's a little from column, a little from columb.
Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Yeah, like we hope she's not just doing stuff like
that to keep him interested, you know, totally.
Speaker 2 (01:00:31):
I hope like she's into it too, which, like I
think most ninety nine percent of the science point to
her also being interested. Yeah, so yeah, we'll see. But anyway, Uh,
that's kind of the end of it. Joel goes home
and he hopes that their parents will go his parents,
her parents will go away so they can do it
for real. At the end of the chapter, ooh ooh,
(01:00:57):
any last words, Oh, I do want to plug depending
And when this comes out, I'm gonna be part of
this thing called If you're at La Bloomheads, I'm gonna
be part of this thing called the Lost Feels Writers Festival.
It's a two day festival in La and I'm going
It's from August twenty third to twenty fourth, and I'll
be reading a piece on the twenty third, and then
(01:01:19):
on the twenty fourth, which is a Sunday, I'm gonna
be hosting literary trivia at the Bar to Boula Rasa
at three pm on Sunday, August twenty fourth. So if
you want to come down and say hello, come do trivia.
I will definitely put a g bloom question in there,
just in case any Bloomheads show up. But yeah, that'll
(01:01:40):
be where you can find me.
Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
That's awesome and we do have quite a few La Bloomheads,
so perfect. Okay, this should come out and you can
even meet Mollie.
Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Yeah that's a meeting.
Speaker 3 (01:01:51):
Great, I'm just offering you up.
Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
But yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (01:01:56):
You can be in the same room as Molly at
the very least.
Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
No, we can meet. I'd love to say hello.
Speaker 3 (01:02:02):
And then did you want to talk about your old Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
Yes? And I was also recently a guest on an
old millennials podcast episode, Sister Pod Old Millennials, but it's
behind a paywall. It's for their patreons only. They did
a series where they're breaking down every episode of the
Sex and the City sequel and just like that. And
as you might imagine, I have really strong feelings about that.
So definitely come listen to that. Throw some money at
(01:02:30):
old Millennials. They are worth it. They're an amazing sister podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:02:34):
Yeah, awesome, great bloom Heads. Be sure to check that
out and Mollie, you'll post on Instagram right, I will
remind people of your appearances.
Speaker 2 (01:02:45):
I will, I will will.
Speaker 3 (01:02:47):
Okay, okay, thanks, everyone write us letters. We need to
re up on our letter what's the word cash. Yeah,
so bloom Saloon at gmail dot com. But you can
also just send us a dam on Instagram on Facebook
and we'll take it there. Okay, we love you.
Speaker 2 (01:03:07):
Bye bye
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