October 27, 2025 • 17 mins
On today's Extra, Comedian Kelly Collette Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher.
Not only is the Bob and Tom Show live every
weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little
extra in case you missed anything. We're rocking on the
show today with comedian Kelly Collette. She's coming up in
just a minute.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
We are the musers on the pod. So far we've
discussed people we love. I didn't tell you guys, Cuban
emailed you weary. Well, now that's not things we love?
Got way into typewriters. How many typewriters do you own?
Let's not podcast any estimates time to get really down
and dirty.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Past and forget to promote it on social media.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
So what is our podcast about? Or whatever? We feel like?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
The musers the podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Why do people pick their nose? And what's that stuff
between your toes? And why can't men wear pantyhosts?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I don't know?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Why do we jewel whenever we sleep? To shepherds really
mate with sheep? And if I had the chance, could
I do both? People?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't know. If I did, i'd tell you so.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
But I don't wait, I'll go oh, I don't ask me.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh, right in there?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Okay? What's underneath your overalls? And where do we go
when nature calls? And why do cats cough up for
a ball? I don't know?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Why does father always know best? Does Larry bird sleep.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
In the nest?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
And how do you study for a pregnancy test? I
don't know where does a circle end our start in?
Why won't meet lot fall apart? And if I polch
your finger?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Would you have to?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Well, let's not go there.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Don't ask me, I don't know. Miss something.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Here you go, We'll try to catch you up.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
This is Bob and Tom Extra.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Hello Tom, we have a special guest we do indeed
joining to the studio comedian Kelly Collette.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Hi, guys, Hi.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Happy rapture day?
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Do you know that?
Speaker 6 (02:11):
Yeah? You guys aren't on rapture? TikTok?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
No? What time?
Speaker 6 (02:15):
I don't know? See, I was thinking we still had
time get to know each other?
Speaker 7 (02:20):
Yeah before it actually okay, Well I got a really
busy day. I'm getting Yeah, not get my hair cut?
I save the money?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Why not?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Looks bruce up?
Speaker 5 (02:29):
I gotta drive drive my car down to this is
not that time. Yeah, raft open the sun roof.
Speaker 8 (02:39):
Remember it's six feet under When the lady thought that
was a rapture? Yes, remember that plot point. Yeah, accidentally
put helium and some of the blow up dolls and
they got away from a truck and she comes out
there they're flying it. She thinks it's angel so shets
out of her car and walks out in the middle street,
gets hit.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
By a bum.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
Oh wow, she for her.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I guess it was kind of sort of the rapture. Yes, yeah,
there you go.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Oh fun stuff, Kelly. Do people tell you that you
resemble a certain famous actress?
Speaker 6 (03:12):
I do. I get Christina Applegate. Oh that's that's good,
the one you were thinking of.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
No, I was thinking from the television so friends.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
Oh Phoebe. Yeah, oh, I'd get Phoebe personality a lot,
but never looks wise. But I love Lisa Kudrow. She's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah she is.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
Yeah, and tell us about what is your background? You're
a stand up comedian. Now what was did you have?
Like normal jobs?
Speaker 6 (03:36):
I had a normal job for a very long time.
I was for thirteen years. I was a safety engineer.
So my job was to be like a professional buzzkill.
I would go into businesses and just tell them how
people could get hurt or how they could get sued.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That's what I do. That would be the perfect job
for you, a fun job.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
You're just negative all that. It's affecting me a little bit.
Speaker 8 (03:57):
But I've got the ultimate. I know who she looks like. Well,
I don't think you you never saw the office, did you?
At Angela from the Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (04:04):
I get that sometimes and I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
But the English one or the American one.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
The American one right now, we're in the United States
of America. Wait a minute, hang out a second. In
my defense, off the air, all he ever talks about
is brit Box.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
In every English show talk about the British Office. Yeah,
he would have said the British Office. I certainly was. Okay, Well,
I'm sorry, sorry to argue.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
A company I did it was OSHA certified, but I
didn't work for them. I worked for like insurance companies, gotcha.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
So yeah, well, do you have any cool stories, like
something you said was going to be dangerous, they didn't
believe you, and then somebody got killed.
Speaker 6 (04:41):
Sort of. I got sued personally three years three years
after I left, they had called me in and they're like, hey,
you did this report. This building actually burnt down, so
let's go back and look at your report to make
sure you weren't liable. And it turns out I did
everything right.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
So that was really good.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
But it was really scary for a while. Like I
was like, was I feeling lazy that day? Like could
I have I.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Told you don't make the smoking shack out of straw?
That's got to be the brick one. Did I write
building will never burn down?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
No?
Speaker 6 (05:14):
I think they were under construction at the time, and
I was like, okay, well when they finished, they should
have this, this, and this, let's go back and check
on it. And then no one ever went back and
checked on it. I left the company. Yeah, so they
had a fire and they were like, somebody should have
done something. I was like, oh, my job anymore.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Well, when we break it about fifteen minutes, would you
might do it?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
We'll do a quick run. Any deep fat fryars or
open flame cook tops in this place.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, well you don't get to that part of the building.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Oh I don't, guys, don't fire up some frontel cakes
in the back.
Speaker 8 (05:45):
I got to get back there and clean the grease trap. Yeah,
that's a big one.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Watch out for those to your personal life.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Uh No, well, I I'm pretty. I'm pretty. Uh. I
was told by a lot of comedians that I tour
with that I'm a neurotic, and I didn't know that
I did. I thought they were calling me like narcoleptic.
At first. I was like, I get plenty of sleep,
but I didn't know what a neurotic was. But I
guess I see things from kind of a negative lens,
which I didn't know until they all pointed out to me,
and I was like, that makes sense with the job
(06:12):
that I had for a very long time.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Did you live in an apartment or a house.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
I live in a house.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Do you have a fire extinguisher?
Speaker 6 (06:17):
I do.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Do you have one of those fire blankets?
Speaker 6 (06:19):
I don't. My fire extinguisher is actually from like the
nineteen fifties. It's decorative. I got it an antique store,
so it's not functional. I do have a carbon monoxide detector, though,
I thought that was pretty I'm huge on those.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, I believe me. I needed them.
Speaker 6 (06:35):
I got one of those. I got a ring camera.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
You gotta have fire I've actually, on two occasions used
a fire extinguished. I almost burned on one of my houses.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh my goodness, you know, like an idiot.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
Well you're a pyro.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
What do you talk at pyro? I got one of
those Christmas baskets?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Yes, and what did you decide to do with it?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (06:56):
I hate ham and cheese.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
It was it was this huge Christmas basket full of fruit.
I took the fruit out that I had a nice
fire going. It was Christmas time, of course, yes, And
I went to my in my older house, and I
shoved the basket in. There had a big, big hoop
handle on it, and it was some kind of acrylic
paint glowing. And what happened was the wand of the
(07:19):
basket whatever it is, the handle hit the thing and
closed the flu.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Had to repaint the whole room.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
And it wasn't your fault? Was it always completely my fault?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Really?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I think that's the first time in a decade that
you've admitted that. Yeah, but I had to put out
with a fire extinguisher. You're somewhat of a firebug.
Speaker 7 (07:37):
Was there a fire extinguisher right next to the fireplace?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, it was in I had to go to the
kitchen to get it.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Oh, I've got about six of them in my house now,
and I get.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Laughed at all the time. Just wait six that's better
to have?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Is that?
Speaker 8 (07:52):
So when you show off for the kids in the
morning with your spray vegetable shortening that you spray into
an open flame, so you can have a fire extinguishers
there ready to put the fire out.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
That could be helpful.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Have you caught something on fire in your microwave? I've
done that.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
Ye plate, foil or something.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
It was a decorative plate that had like gold on
it or something that it was on the fire barked.
Speaker 6 (08:18):
It scared me.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
No, mine was on Hey, Josh, you here, she's got
gold plated plate.
Speaker 7 (08:29):
I am.
Speaker 9 (08:31):
I just use an old del Montic hand lid. Me
and the dog lead out of the same boat. We
are speaking to comedian Kelly Collette and let's stuff. You
live in a house as opposed to an apartment. Are
you single, are you married? You have a boyfriend, you
have a girlfriend. What's happening?
Speaker 6 (08:50):
I have a dog. Okay, that's the most long term
relationship I have.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Female.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
She's a girl. It's my first girl.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Very excited, nice kind of dog.
Speaker 6 (09:00):
She's a wiener dog. I collect seeing your dogs. That's
like my personality. So if you guys see those women
walking around with the dogs and the baby strollers, like
just trying not to get hit on, that's what I do. Okay,
just most disgusting dogs you can think of, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
You have the short hair of the long I got
the short hair.
Speaker 6 (09:17):
Yeah, so she she keeps it short. But a lot
of people are asking me there like is this a
support dog? And I was like, that's just too too
hard of a job for a dog to have, you
know what I mean, Like can you imagine it being
an emotional support dog? Like your ancestors are hunters and wolves?
But like, oh, you're like, I gotta wake up every
morning and just make sure Britney isn't sad, Like that's
(09:37):
my entire personality. It's just like I gotta wake up
every morning and be like did he text her back? Okay,
hide the knives, Hide the knives. It's gonna be a
bad day.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
What's the dog?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Her name is Luna, and when she's bad, I call
her Tuna. So oh, you guys have that where you're
like nicknamed your dog, it just morphs into something else.
Ten degrees down the road is what everybody does.
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Bubby, you have Bubby? Leo's name is Bubby?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
When he's bad, do you say Leo?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Oh Leo.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
Do you have a full name like Leonardo?
Speaker 7 (10:11):
Who's Leonardo DiCaprio?
Speaker 6 (10:12):
There you go.
Speaker 7 (10:14):
Yes, the kids named him. I did not.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
One was mister Fletcher. We call him fletchy boy. Oh
when he's a good boy.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
When he's a bad boy. What is he.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Usually sleeping next to me in the bed again this weekend?
I woke up.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Oh look, Kelly's here, not Mike Kelly. And oh no,
it's a large white dog breathing in my face. Oh well,
uh well, once again we're talking to the lovely Kelly Collette.
Speaker 6 (10:41):
And the woman of many faces.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Have you ever been Have you ever been married?
Speaker 6 (10:46):
I was. I was married for fifteen years. So that
was a very like developmental time. Like I got married
when I was twenty three. It's a very Midwest thing
to do, which is like really funny because like you
don't know how to be a person at twenty three.
So when I got like married, I like registered for
the funniest things to get married. I remember registering for
like a ice cream maker and a bicycle and like
(11:08):
a hammock. And I was like, you can't get married
without a bicycle, you know what I mean. Yeah, so
that's just wild that they I think they shouldn't let
you should be like a driver's license, Like you should
have to pass test to get married. Like I think
you should have to pass tests to do multiple things
in life.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
That's actually a pretty good one.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Yeah, I think so. I think you should have to
take a test to have a gun. I think you
should have to take a test to have a baby.
You know, those are the two things I think you
should test people on.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Maybe I think to give a dog.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Yeah, I'll pass all the tests away.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Because you're Catholic, don't you kind of have to take
at least a verbal.
Speaker 7 (11:43):
Yeah, you have to go to it. You have to
go away to camp.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I don't think everybody has to do that.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
If you don't, you have counseling from a married couple
within the church for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Okay, you have to go to a camp with your frill.
Speaker 7 (11:56):
Ever got married in the church, remember, Oh, okay, there's
still time. I know, and all might have been an
old so I could get married in the church.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Well, yeah, this would be the first you could invite
us since we've never been to any of them.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
No, I almost got to one and a slot opened.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
The wedding you had fifty people. The groom called me up.
Speaker 8 (12:15):
Hey, it would really mean a lot to Christy if
you could come to the wedding. Oh so much that
she invited me day up Yeah.
Speaker 7 (12:22):
So yeah, no, but you do have to sit down
with a priest. You take a test, They go over
the answers with you and you, you know, like you
take the test separately, like how you're feeling is about
raising children and money. And then you sit down the
three of you and they go over the tests and
you discuss that weird.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
Yeah, what happens if you don't have the same answers?
Speaker 7 (12:44):
Well, I mean obviously you're not.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
They just bring out option number four. They're like, oh,
well you can meet me, Tony, Tony.
Speaker 7 (12:54):
I don't know if a priest can say I won't
marry you. He might, I don't know. He doesn't feel
your combatible, don't no, if that's happened, our priest did
not say that. We did get to that point.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Did you ever get like an he's serious? Eye rolling? No,
you're going to be a great couple.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
Guy goes, and in our defense, this was the kid's dad.
So we'd already been married for years and then we
were going to get married and renew our vows and
get married in.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
The church and so make official.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, well, the weekend away things. You're obviously not sleeping together.
Speaker 7 (13:27):
No no, no, no, no, no no no, no, okay, just asking.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
We're talking with comedian Kelly Collette. Why don't we squeeze
in a news story.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
We even promised with the Catholic Church.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
Non in Ohio celebrated her one and fifth birthday with
a round.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Of golf w KB in twelve weeks.
Speaker 7 (13:47):
It gets better. Sister Renee Parman has been celebrating her
birthday in the same way for decades. This year was
no exception.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
She downtown by the Whore.
Speaker 7 (14:00):
Shots ninety five. She's legally blind, but she and her
fellow sisters from Humanity of Mary hit the links at
Noel Run golf Course.
Speaker 8 (14:12):
Legally legally blind, Lowellville.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I got another hole in one there, lady? What's taking
these so long? As that she blind?
Speaker 7 (14:22):
How many people imagine being behind this?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
For how many people? Can we play through God?
Speaker 5 (14:26):
If we play through now, which interesting, this is worse
than what's the name of the golf course.
Speaker 7 (14:30):
It's called Noel Run golf Course in lowellvillel.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
And Lowellville sounds like Louisville.
Speaker 7 (14:39):
Lowell Lowell like my grandfather's name, Lowell.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
There's a Lowellville in a Louisville.
Speaker 7 (14:44):
Yep, Lowellville, Ohio.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Over there, that totally different sounds. No, it's called the
same thing.
Speaker 10 (14:51):
No, it's so where are you from Chicago and New York?
You don't sound the same Lowellville. If you've got an
of a slushi in your mouth, it's also the same word.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Okay, now you're changing the.
Speaker 7 (15:03):
Congratulations to her sister Rene.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You got to.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
I mean, she's legally blind and she's still out there playing, sister.
Speaker 7 (15:13):
Here is she actually playing?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (15:17):
She is being driven around on a golf cart. That
would be mine.
Speaker 6 (15:20):
She just Weakendnie grabbing a beer for your average cart.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Sure, yeah, yeah, yes, that's well, that's that's nice.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I wonder if im I wonder if she hit under
her age.
Speaker 7 (15:35):
If she gets over under one hundred and five and
she's blind, I'm pissed.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Did you see the kid yesterday that piped up? Here's
the she's not wearing the habit one.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
Hundred and five. She looks great.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Hell bed is under the mass. Absolutely, that's the actual audio.
Wait a minute, Wait, there was a picture of her
in her uniform.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
In Oh, I love that movie.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
She's got the Sister Betrol hat. That is old school
Sister Betrol one.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
On the very left looks exactly like the one sister
from Sister Out.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, that's the plunging.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
Next, those are the ones that jump off the roofs
and fly right. Ye, get some speed under those.
Speaker 7 (16:24):
That's what I grew up with, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
Can you imagine eating and getting something on that white
bib and just having to walk around with that shame?
Speaker 7 (16:30):
No lot of wonder bib over their bib?
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Probably wow happy? Yeah, they might have getten some right.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Take a picture of them after they played eighteen holes.
I bet the cursing comes out. That's it for another
Bob and Tom Show Extra. Catch us on iTunes, Google Play,
and Stitcher For Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher
Take care of Her Buddy.
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Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher.
Not only is the Bob and Tom Show live every
weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little
extra in case you missed anything. We're rocking on the
show today with comedian Kelly Collette. She's coming up in
just a minute.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
We are the musers on the pod. So far we've
discussed people we love. I didn't tell you guys, Cuban
emailed you weary. Well, now that's not things we love?
Got way into typewriters. How many typewriters do you own?
Let's not podcast any estimates time to get really down
and dirty.
Speaker 3 (00:41):
Past and forget to promote it on social media.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
So what is our podcast about? Or whatever? We feel like?
Speaker 3 (00:48):
The musers the podcast, follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
Why do people pick their nose? And what's that stuff
between your toes? And why can't men wear pantyhosts?
Speaker 1 (01:00):
I don't know?
Speaker 4 (01:02):
Why do we jewel whenever we sleep? To shepherds really
mate with sheep? And if I had the chance, could
I do both? People?
Speaker 3 (01:08):
I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I don't know. If I did, i'd tell you so.
Speaker 4 (01:13):
But I don't wait, I'll go oh, I don't ask me.
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh, right in there?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
Okay? What's underneath your overalls? And where do we go
when nature calls? And why do cats cough up for
a ball? I don't know?
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Why does father always know best? Does Larry bird sleep.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
In the nest?
Speaker 4 (01:35):
And how do you study for a pregnancy test? I
don't know where does a circle end our start in?
Why won't meet lot fall apart? And if I polch
your finger?
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Would you have to?
Speaker 4 (01:45):
Well, let's not go there.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Don't ask me, I don't know. Miss something.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Here you go, We'll try to catch you up.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
This is Bob and Tom Extra.
Speaker 5 (01:57):
Hello Tom, we have a special guest we do indeed
joining to the studio comedian Kelly Collette.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
Hi, guys, Hi.
Speaker 6 (02:05):
Happy rapture day?
Speaker 4 (02:08):
Do you know that?
Speaker 6 (02:11):
Yeah? You guys aren't on rapture? TikTok?
Speaker 2 (02:13):
No? What time?
Speaker 6 (02:15):
I don't know? See, I was thinking we still had
time get to know each other?
Speaker 7 (02:20):
Yeah before it actually okay, Well I got a really
busy day. I'm getting Yeah, not get my hair cut?
I save the money?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Why not?
Speaker 6 (02:29):
Looks bruce up?
Speaker 5 (02:29):
I gotta drive drive my car down to this is
not that time. Yeah, raft open the sun roof.
Speaker 8 (02:39):
Remember it's six feet under When the lady thought that
was a rapture? Yes, remember that plot point. Yeah, accidentally
put helium and some of the blow up dolls and
they got away from a truck and she comes out
there they're flying it. She thinks it's angel so shets
out of her car and walks out in the middle street,
gets hit.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
By a bum.
Speaker 6 (03:00):
Oh wow, she for her.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I guess it was kind of sort of the rapture. Yes, yeah,
there you go.
Speaker 5 (03:07):
Oh fun stuff, Kelly. Do people tell you that you
resemble a certain famous actress?
Speaker 6 (03:12):
I do. I get Christina Applegate. Oh that's that's good,
the one you were thinking of.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
No, I was thinking from the television so friends.
Speaker 6 (03:19):
Oh Phoebe. Yeah, oh, I'd get Phoebe personality a lot,
but never looks wise. But I love Lisa Kudrow. She's fantastic.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah she is.
Speaker 5 (03:29):
Yeah, and tell us about what is your background? You're
a stand up comedian. Now what was did you have?
Like normal jobs?
Speaker 6 (03:36):
I had a normal job for a very long time.
I was for thirteen years. I was a safety engineer.
So my job was to be like a professional buzzkill.
I would go into businesses and just tell them how
people could get hurt or how they could get sued.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
That's what I do. That would be the perfect job
for you, a fun job.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
You're just negative all that. It's affecting me a little bit.
Speaker 8 (03:57):
But I've got the ultimate. I know who she looks like. Well,
I don't think you you never saw the office, did you?
At Angela from the Oh my gosh.
Speaker 6 (04:04):
I get that sometimes and I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
But the English one or the American one.
Speaker 5 (04:09):
The American one right now, we're in the United States
of America. Wait a minute, hang out a second. In
my defense, off the air, all he ever talks about
is brit Box.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
In every English show talk about the British Office. Yeah,
he would have said the British Office. I certainly was. Okay, Well,
I'm sorry, sorry to argue.
Speaker 6 (04:27):
A company I did it was OSHA certified, but I
didn't work for them. I worked for like insurance companies, gotcha.
Speaker 5 (04:34):
So yeah, well, do you have any cool stories, like
something you said was going to be dangerous, they didn't
believe you, and then somebody got killed.
Speaker 6 (04:41):
Sort of. I got sued personally three years three years
after I left, they had called me in and they're like, hey,
you did this report. This building actually burnt down, so
let's go back and look at your report to make
sure you weren't liable. And it turns out I did
everything right.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
So that was really good.
Speaker 6 (05:00):
But it was really scary for a while. Like I
was like, was I feeling lazy that day? Like could
I have I.
Speaker 5 (05:07):
Told you don't make the smoking shack out of straw?
That's got to be the brick one. Did I write
building will never burn down?
Speaker 3 (05:14):
No?
Speaker 6 (05:14):
I think they were under construction at the time, and
I was like, okay, well when they finished, they should
have this, this, and this, let's go back and check
on it. And then no one ever went back and
checked on it. I left the company. Yeah, so they
had a fire and they were like, somebody should have
done something. I was like, oh, my job anymore.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Well, when we break it about fifteen minutes, would you
might do it?
Speaker 6 (05:33):
We'll do a quick run. Any deep fat fryars or
open flame cook tops in this place.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
Yeah, well you don't get to that part of the building.
Speaker 6 (05:40):
Oh I don't, guys, don't fire up some frontel cakes
in the back.
Speaker 8 (05:45):
I got to get back there and clean the grease trap. Yeah,
that's a big one.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Watch out for those to your personal life.
Speaker 6 (05:52):
Uh No, well, I I'm pretty. I'm pretty. Uh. I
was told by a lot of comedians that I tour
with that I'm a neurotic, and I didn't know that
I did. I thought they were calling me like narcoleptic.
At first. I was like, I get plenty of sleep,
but I didn't know what a neurotic was. But I
guess I see things from kind of a negative lens,
which I didn't know until they all pointed out to me,
and I was like, that makes sense with the job
(06:12):
that I had for a very long time.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Did you live in an apartment or a house.
Speaker 6 (06:15):
I live in a house.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Do you have a fire extinguisher?
Speaker 6 (06:17):
I do.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Do you have one of those fire blankets?
Speaker 6 (06:19):
I don't. My fire extinguisher is actually from like the
nineteen fifties. It's decorative. I got it an antique store,
so it's not functional. I do have a carbon monoxide detector, though,
I thought that was pretty I'm huge on those.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
Yeah, I believe me. I needed them.
Speaker 6 (06:35):
I got one of those. I got a ring camera.
Speaker 5 (06:37):
You gotta have fire I've actually, on two occasions used
a fire extinguished. I almost burned on one of my houses.
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Oh my goodness, you know, like an idiot.
Speaker 7 (06:45):
Well you're a pyro.
Speaker 5 (06:47):
What do you talk at pyro? I got one of
those Christmas baskets?
Speaker 7 (06:50):
Yes, and what did you decide to do with it?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (06:56):
I hate ham and cheese.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
It was it was this huge Christmas basket full of fruit.
I took the fruit out that I had a nice
fire going. It was Christmas time, of course, yes, And
I went to my in my older house, and I
shoved the basket in. There had a big, big hoop
handle on it, and it was some kind of acrylic
paint glowing. And what happened was the wand of the
(07:19):
basket whatever it is, the handle hit the thing and
closed the flu.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Had to repaint the whole room.
Speaker 5 (07:26):
And it wasn't your fault? Was it always completely my fault?
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Really?
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I think that's the first time in a decade that
you've admitted that. Yeah, but I had to put out
with a fire extinguisher. You're somewhat of a firebug.
Speaker 7 (07:37):
Was there a fire extinguisher right next to the fireplace?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
No, it was in I had to go to the
kitchen to get it.
Speaker 5 (07:42):
Oh, I've got about six of them in my house now,
and I get.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Laughed at all the time. Just wait six that's better
to have?
Speaker 3 (07:51):
Is that?
Speaker 8 (07:52):
So when you show off for the kids in the
morning with your spray vegetable shortening that you spray into
an open flame, so you can have a fire extinguishers
there ready to put the fire out.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
That could be helpful.
Speaker 7 (08:06):
Have you caught something on fire in your microwave? I've
done that.
Speaker 6 (08:09):
Ye plate, foil or something.
Speaker 7 (08:11):
It was a decorative plate that had like gold on
it or something that it was on the fire barked.
Speaker 6 (08:18):
It scared me.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
No, mine was on Hey, Josh, you here, she's got
gold plated plate.
Speaker 7 (08:29):
I am.
Speaker 9 (08:31):
I just use an old del Montic hand lid. Me
and the dog lead out of the same boat. We
are speaking to comedian Kelly Collette and let's stuff. You
live in a house as opposed to an apartment. Are
you single, are you married? You have a boyfriend, you
have a girlfriend. What's happening?
Speaker 6 (08:50):
I have a dog. Okay, that's the most long term
relationship I have.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Female.
Speaker 6 (08:55):
She's a girl. It's my first girl.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
Very excited, nice kind of dog.
Speaker 6 (09:00):
She's a wiener dog. I collect seeing your dogs. That's
like my personality. So if you guys see those women
walking around with the dogs and the baby strollers, like
just trying not to get hit on, that's what I do. Okay,
just most disgusting dogs you can think of, Like.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
You have the short hair of the long I got
the short hair.
Speaker 6 (09:17):
Yeah, so she she keeps it short. But a lot
of people are asking me there like is this a
support dog? And I was like, that's just too too
hard of a job for a dog to have, you
know what I mean, Like can you imagine it being
an emotional support dog? Like your ancestors are hunters and wolves?
But like, oh, you're like, I gotta wake up every
morning and just make sure Britney isn't sad, Like that's
(09:37):
my entire personality. It's just like I gotta wake up
every morning and be like did he text her back? Okay,
hide the knives, Hide the knives. It's gonna be a
bad day.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
What's the dog?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Her name is Luna, and when she's bad, I call
her Tuna. So oh, you guys have that where you're
like nicknamed your dog, it just morphs into something else.
Ten degrees down the road is what everybody does.
Speaker 7 (10:03):
Bubby, you have Bubby? Leo's name is Bubby?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
When he's bad, do you say Leo?
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Oh Leo.
Speaker 6 (10:09):
Do you have a full name like Leonardo?
Speaker 7 (10:11):
Who's Leonardo DiCaprio?
Speaker 6 (10:12):
There you go.
Speaker 7 (10:14):
Yes, the kids named him. I did not.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
One was mister Fletcher. We call him fletchy boy. Oh
when he's a good boy.
Speaker 6 (10:22):
When he's a bad boy. What is he.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
Usually sleeping next to me in the bed again this weekend?
I woke up.
Speaker 5 (10:30):
Oh look, Kelly's here, not Mike Kelly. And oh no,
it's a large white dog breathing in my face. Oh well,
uh well, once again we're talking to the lovely Kelly Collette.
Speaker 6 (10:41):
And the woman of many faces.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Have you ever been Have you ever been married?
Speaker 6 (10:46):
I was. I was married for fifteen years. So that
was a very like developmental time. Like I got married
when I was twenty three. It's a very Midwest thing
to do, which is like really funny because like you
don't know how to be a person at twenty three.
So when I got like married, I like registered for
the funniest things to get married. I remember registering for
like a ice cream maker and a bicycle and like
(11:08):
a hammock. And I was like, you can't get married
without a bicycle, you know what I mean. Yeah, so
that's just wild that they I think they shouldn't let
you should be like a driver's license, Like you should
have to pass test to get married. Like I think
you should have to pass tests to do multiple things
in life.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
That's actually a pretty good one.
Speaker 6 (11:24):
Yeah, I think so. I think you should have to
take a test to have a gun. I think you
should have to take a test to have a baby.
You know, those are the two things I think you
should test people on.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Maybe I think to give a dog.
Speaker 6 (11:34):
Yeah, I'll pass all the tests away.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Because you're Catholic, don't you kind of have to take
at least a verbal.
Speaker 7 (11:43):
Yeah, you have to go to it. You have to
go away to camp.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
I don't think everybody has to do that.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
If you don't, you have counseling from a married couple
within the church for sure.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
Okay, you have to go to a camp with your frill.
Speaker 7 (11:56):
Ever got married in the church, remember, Oh, okay, there's
still time. I know, and all might have been an
old so I could get married in the church.
Speaker 5 (12:03):
Well, yeah, this would be the first you could invite
us since we've never been to any of them.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
No, I almost got to one and a slot opened.
Speaker 3 (12:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
The wedding you had fifty people. The groom called me up.
Speaker 8 (12:15):
Hey, it would really mean a lot to Christy if
you could come to the wedding. Oh so much that
she invited me day up Yeah.
Speaker 7 (12:22):
So yeah, no, but you do have to sit down
with a priest. You take a test, They go over
the answers with you and you, you know, like you
take the test separately, like how you're feeling is about
raising children and money. And then you sit down the
three of you and they go over the tests and
you discuss that weird.
Speaker 6 (12:40):
Yeah, what happens if you don't have the same answers?
Speaker 7 (12:44):
Well, I mean obviously you're not.
Speaker 6 (12:47):
They just bring out option number four. They're like, oh,
well you can meet me, Tony, Tony.
Speaker 7 (12:54):
I don't know if a priest can say I won't
marry you. He might, I don't know. He doesn't feel
your combatible, don't no, if that's happened, our priest did
not say that. We did get to that point.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
Did you ever get like an he's serious? Eye rolling? No,
you're going to be a great couple.
Speaker 7 (13:08):
Guy goes, and in our defense, this was the kid's dad.
So we'd already been married for years and then we
were going to get married and renew our vows and
get married in.
Speaker 6 (13:20):
The church and so make official.
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Yeah, well, the weekend away things. You're obviously not sleeping together.
Speaker 7 (13:27):
No no, no, no, no, no no no, no, okay, just asking.
Speaker 5 (13:32):
We're talking with comedian Kelly Collette. Why don't we squeeze
in a news story.
Speaker 7 (13:36):
We even promised with the Catholic Church.
Speaker 10 (13:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (13:39):
Non in Ohio celebrated her one and fifth birthday with
a round.
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Of golf w KB in twelve weeks.
Speaker 7 (13:47):
It gets better. Sister Renee Parman has been celebrating her
birthday in the same way for decades. This year was
no exception.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
She downtown by the Whore.
Speaker 7 (14:00):
Shots ninety five. She's legally blind, but she and her
fellow sisters from Humanity of Mary hit the links at
Noel Run golf Course.
Speaker 8 (14:12):
Legally legally blind, Lowellville.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I got another hole in one there, lady? What's taking
these so long? As that she blind?
Speaker 7 (14:22):
How many people imagine being behind this?
Speaker 2 (14:24):
For how many people? Can we play through God?
Speaker 5 (14:26):
If we play through now, which interesting, this is worse
than what's the name of the golf course.
Speaker 7 (14:30):
It's called Noel Run golf Course in lowellvillel.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
And Lowellville sounds like Louisville.
Speaker 7 (14:39):
Lowell Lowell like my grandfather's name, Lowell.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
There's a Lowellville in a Louisville.
Speaker 7 (14:44):
Yep, Lowellville, Ohio.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Over there, that totally different sounds. No, it's called the
same thing.
Speaker 10 (14:51):
No, it's so where are you from Chicago and New York?
You don't sound the same Lowellville. If you've got an
of a slushi in your mouth, it's also the same word.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Okay, now you're changing the.
Speaker 7 (15:03):
Congratulations to her sister Rene.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
You got to.
Speaker 5 (15:07):
I mean, she's legally blind and she's still out there playing, sister.
Speaker 7 (15:13):
Here is she actually playing?
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Yeah?
Speaker 7 (15:17):
She is being driven around on a golf cart. That
would be mine.
Speaker 6 (15:20):
She just Weakendnie grabbing a beer for your average cart.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Sure, yeah, yeah, yes, that's well, that's that's nice.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
I wonder if im I wonder if she hit under
her age.
Speaker 7 (15:35):
If she gets over under one hundred and five and
she's blind, I'm pissed.
Speaker 5 (15:41):
Did you see the kid yesterday that piped up? Here's
the she's not wearing the habit one.
Speaker 6 (15:46):
Hundred and five. She looks great.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Hell bed is under the mass. Absolutely, that's the actual audio.
Wait a minute, Wait, there was a picture of her
in her uniform.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
In Oh, I love that movie.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
She's got the Sister Betrol hat. That is old school
Sister Betrol one.
Speaker 5 (16:14):
On the very left looks exactly like the one sister
from Sister Out.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
Yeah, that's the plunging.
Speaker 6 (16:18):
Next, those are the ones that jump off the roofs
and fly right. Ye, get some speed under those.
Speaker 7 (16:24):
That's what I grew up with, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
Can you imagine eating and getting something on that white
bib and just having to walk around with that shame?
Speaker 7 (16:30):
No lot of wonder bib over their bib?
Speaker 6 (16:34):
Probably wow happy? Yeah, they might have getten some right.
Speaker 3 (16:43):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (16:46):
Take a picture of them after they played eighteen holes.
I bet the cursing comes out. That's it for another
Bob and Tom Show Extra. Catch us on iTunes, Google Play,
and Stitcher For Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher
Take care of Her Buddy.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
The United States Soccer Federation presents the US Soccer podcast
Searching for an inside look at the People, stories and
passion that fuel the state of soccer in America.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Who's going to be the key man for the US
men's national team. First and foremost, they need to win.
Speaker 6 (17:18):
There's something so fun about being the underdogs.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
You're playing with house money on.
Speaker 7 (17:22):
But what does this success mean for the future of
US soccer?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Ooh you indeed?
Speaker 4 (17:27):
Now this is where soccer will come to light.
Speaker 3 (17:29):
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