The BOB & TOM Show - July 3, 2025 - The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's the Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
He gave two thombs up, like why Ebert two thombs up?
At Independence Day? In an accident in our backyard fireworks display,
my dad gave two thumbs up. Our neighbor heard the

(00:48):
screaming and ran out to his yard and got the
finger from my dad. More than one and gunpowder was
found underneath Dad's fingernails underneath chevro late parked half a
mile away. My dad always had my mother, my mother
wrapped around.

Speaker 1 (01:09):
His little fingers.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
Tell a small that finger and my mom landed on
the roofs. She got cuts and bruises and shingle out.
As Dad recovered, visitors came by. His insurance man came
and went unrecognized because to my dad everybody looked like
good hands people he can't do. Here's the church he

(01:34):
can't do. Here's the steeple to a second knuckle man,
I'm hoping that is luckle be better.

Speaker 3 (01:41):
Next time, have.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
A safe, safe safe, say fourth of July.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
This is the way we rehearsed.

Speaker 2 (01:56):
Hey, you guys, can I stop snapping your fingers? It
makes my dad sells.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Hello.

Speaker 4 (02:15):
From coast to Toast and Tom show.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded,
meaning they've already happened and they're about to happen again.
So where was it? Oh yeah, ladies and gentlemen, we're
glad to have you here. It's the Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 5 (02:50):
All right?

Speaker 1 (02:50):
Checked? Were you a Price is right fan? Um? No, no,
not really.

Speaker 6 (02:56):
Costco now sells full essentially full sized Plinko boards.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
Are you serious? The official Plinko game?

Speaker 7 (03:05):
Oh my wow?

Speaker 1 (03:06):
How much?

Speaker 6 (03:08):
I believe it was seven ninety nine. And yes, that
will we will be setting Tom back seven.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I say, are we getting one? I say, I wasn't
a Prices Right fan, but my favorite games are Plinko
and the old Yodling Guy. Yeah. Yeah, that's really good.
That's a good game.

Speaker 8 (03:26):
I was a hole in one or two guys, Yes, okay,
or two was always the he would hit the thing.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
And I went to college with a bunch of pinkos.
Is that something like that a little bit? Okay? Okay,
I don't know. I've I've always hated that show. I've
never watched the gay. I don't know what Plinko means. Okay,
I have no idea.

Speaker 7 (03:46):
You have, well, no, you would be good because the
price of things.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
I don't. I don't know the price of anything.

Speaker 7 (03:51):
Shop all the time.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
I don't pay attention. I couldn't tell you what eggs
were a guess. I would love to see Tom on
the process I have. I have. We have presspaste. I haven't.
Toothpaste is I grew up on pepsident I learned a
long time ago. I can't the price of gas. I

(04:13):
never look at There's nothing I can do about it.
I'm not gonna let it worry me. I just brush
with I sprinkle, arm and hammer. That's right, ivory soap,
right guard. I use right now at least five different
kinds of toothpaste in my drawer. And however, I'm picking
on Tom, But you and I are a brotherhood, a

(04:36):
brotherhood of toothpaste in the mouth. Then you grab your
brush into the shower.

Speaker 5 (04:42):
Right.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Nobody else uses my toothpaste, so I don't have to
worry about and they'll brush in the shower absolutely and
sometimes sometimes that is disgusting. Well was fun because you
spit it on your urine and then it makes exactly right.
And then when I'm in the shower with Tom, we
interlate arms and brush each other's teeth. The door as

(05:05):
a door. Yeah, it sounds like a sex move, is
what it is. I want to brush my teeth.

Speaker 8 (05:10):
I feel like this is all leading to a very
awkward conversation with the plumber. In ten years, you haven't
been urinating and brushing your teeth down.

Speaker 1 (05:18):
This those two ten to bond. I have to deal
with this all the time.

Speaker 7 (05:25):
Shower doors. Do you have shower doors on your shower?

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Of course? Are they a curtain? Do they slide or
do they? No? No, it's a regular door.

Speaker 7 (05:32):
Okay, something else we have not putting shower doors on
your shower.

Speaker 1 (05:39):
Oh, get the water all over the floor.

Speaker 7 (05:41):
Though, I made the mistake. I took a shower for
the first time this morning in our new house of smell,
but I don't have shower doors yet. The shower shower
door is getting installed on Wednesday. But the design flaw
that I made is the full length mirror in my
closet shines right in to the shower. So that's the

(06:01):
first thing.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Yeah, in the morning, that's not a good look. Well,
I'm I'm Christy, I'm aff I'm Christy's husband Andy, and
apparently there's a problem with Andy, Andy, Andy, I get up.
I know you're wearing a bowlo tie every time. What
is your nickname for Christy? Andy? Her? Yeah? And every
time she every time she gets in the shower, evidently

(06:22):
you can see her through an extensive serious mirrors right
there right there. That's like hotels that you sit down
to go to the bathroom and the mirrors right there.
That's not a good look. Doesn't it get all steamed up?

Speaker 7 (06:34):
I don't have showers and in the shower door gets installed.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Does Andy stand there and pant while you're No, I
stand there, sleep, sleep. I call it the chore is
when I call him? You ever had to answer the
door wearring? I ever had to answer the door wearing
a towel because your shower door set off your burglar alarm?

Speaker 7 (06:52):
No, how does that happen?

Speaker 1 (06:54):
Easy? The shower door set off the burglar store? It was?
It was? It was this was three wait a minute, one, two, three,
four houses ago. I had a sliding glass door on
the on the shower. I hope to never say four houses.
And that is the most I was by myself. Yeah,

(07:18):
and I had a there's a glass break alarm on
the on this particular house. I have one of mine too.
If you break the glass, the alarm goes.

Speaker 7 (07:25):
Of course.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Yeah, so the when you if you I learned the
hard way. If when you shut that when you shut
that glass door, it goes and it set off the alarm.
I didn't. I'm by myself. It's four in the morning,
so I'm taking a shower. I got out of the
shower and I look out and I said, oh, that's funny.
Someone must have their Christmas lights on, And there were
three cops in my driveway. I came downstairs, Hey, Tom,

(07:48):
what's going on. Oh, I'm not so sure it was.
It was the shower door. So it's not a glass
break at all. It's a glass gang. And then it
went off another time when I dropped the glass cover
to my frying pan. Wow what Yeah, it was very
sensitive that a friend of mine lives in that house.
I better warn them. No way to live boy, Yeah

(08:08):
next door to Tom's no way to live now. So Christy,
you took the first shower in your new house. Yeah,
it was awesome too. You never know how much how
much room is in that thing. Is it a stand
up It's huge so you can see you stand up
with two people?

Speaker 7 (08:21):
Yeah, you can put three?

Speaker 1 (08:22):
How many nozzles you got in there.

Speaker 7 (08:23):
Two We have the rain shower one and then the
one on the you.

Speaker 1 (08:27):
The one that's like a microphone, so you can take it.
Not to add that.

Speaker 7 (08:31):
That's but I chose they didn't put it on.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
You put that on high and you get to get
a good tape tape. Yeah. Yeah, take a pressure washer.

Speaker 7 (08:41):
No, I don't need that.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
You hate orgasms them elsewhere you hate money and or Christy.

Speaker 6 (08:49):
When you were looking at your house before you bought it,
did you turn on all the showers? No, that's a must.
I know I would do that when I would rent.
Are you testing the water pressure?

Speaker 1 (08:58):
I should have, but have to move now the water pressure? Andy.
But you've been in the house for two days, Yeah,
I know one day. Have you found a Have you
found a place you can get by yourself? Yeah, it's
a hotel. Wondering which girder is the sturdiest. You don't

(09:19):
really need a news that's a nice thing. You can
you tile a bowl line it's over under a round
like the rabbit goes through the hole. Yeah, that's all
you have to do. I'm an old sailor.

Speaker 9 (09:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
You don't need much rope either, really, all right, short, short,
we're getting requests for me to.

Speaker 9 (09:41):
Hey, welcome to the best of the Bob and Tom Show.
This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. Coming
up on the show today, Audrey Stewart plus Christy is Pissed,
Dustin Nickerson, the bird Feeder, Nick Griffin, and lots more.
But coming up next on this Bob and Tom Show morning,
Patrick Keene and cruise ships.

Speaker 1 (10:01):
You'll hear all.

Speaker 9 (10:01):
About that coming up next. This is The Bob and
Tom Show.

Speaker 10 (10:12):
From the award winning morning show on America's favorite radio station,
The Ticket.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
The Musers the Podcast. So right now we're podcasting now,
not yet. I was accidentally podcast. We were for a second,
but we're not. Well, we want to we want to
start intentionally podcast. We're back. I was accidental. It was
a false start. Three two one.

Speaker 10 (10:32):
Every Wednesday, Junior Miller, George Dunham and Gordon Keith drop
a new episode of The Musers the Podcast. Follow and
listen on your favorite platform.

Speaker 9 (10:43):
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This
is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a
segment with comedian Patrick Keene and some cruise ship talk.

Speaker 6 (10:52):
Hello, Tom Christ. Yes, we'd be remiss if we didn't
mention you. You laid on a reference just now too.
I think we're alone now, thank you?

Speaker 7 (11:00):
Behave nobody else got.

Speaker 1 (11:04):
What's like?

Speaker 4 (11:05):
Tom?

Speaker 1 (11:06):
Is that from fifty Songs? It's good Tommy James and
for Alone? Yes, really great song. I don't hate the Tiffany.
What about Crystal Blue Persuasion? That's not even the best
James old money, money money Mooney, you you painfully unhippy.

(11:29):
What is it true that he saw the m O
n Y Mutual New York sign and wrote mony mo
That's absolutely true. Okay, very good. Our guest has no idea.
What's happening. Patrick Keane, a handsome young man stand up comedian,
uh is here with us in the studio. You are
a buck guy.

Speaker 9 (11:46):
You said you grow up in Toledo, Ohio. Yeah, you know,
Toledo's border town. So there's a lot of Michiganistan fans.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
It's a lot of Wolverine.

Speaker 9 (11:54):
So the Friday before that game, all the schools the
kids dress in whichever one of those two. And it's
funny because you like you travel around the country. There's
no other rivalry, like you know, And then I went
to Ice one southern California, and people said, oh, USC
UCLA is just as big.

Speaker 1 (12:06):
I'm like, it doesn't touch no state Michigan. Yeah, I mean,
and Toledo was almost a Michigan town. That that that
battle war. Yeah, yeah, that's right. We learned all about that. Okay,
you're just talking about it last week and there was
an actual war. No, uh no blood was shed though,
is that correct? Did they pick off one guy? Maybe? Well,

(12:27):
to give you an idea, there are Ohio State fans
as I'm talking to you right now that are Yeah,
we won the national championship, but we lost to Michigan
and they will not get over that until they can
beat him. You wait and see, and they want the
coach out. Yes, they've taught Yeah, I get it. He
just won that shut up fire and he can't beat Michigan. Patrick.

(12:47):
We established the fact that you are a single male
of a certain age. That's right, that's right, single, never
been married. You know, I'm not a I'm not a
father husband. I do have all the side effects. I'm tired,
I'm out of shape, I don't have any money. I
yell at other people's children. So there, I'm like a dad.
That sounds good. Right, it's dead you want to get

(13:08):
married and have kids. I don't know.

Speaker 9 (13:10):
That's a good point. I good question. I I don't know.
I think, uh, I'm all now to do the sugar
daddy thing. Problem is there's no sugar. I haven't saved
be like a sugar free daddy.

Speaker 1 (13:23):
Splendor. Yeah, I mean you know what I'm saying, Yeah,
unequal to. These are all good.

Speaker 11 (13:30):
Now.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
You have been traveling the world. I understand you do
the cruise ships on occasion.

Speaker 9 (13:36):
Yeah, a little of the cruise ships. It's tough though,
because you have so many different elements on a cruise ship. Right,
you have retirees, you've got young college kids, You've got
the upside down pineapple people.

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Oh yeah, oh yeah. To get all them to laugh
at the same thing not easy, not you know, Patty,
I do like I didn't know the on the upside
down pineapple thing until recent on the oh yeah, I
don't see you as being a big no a force
in the swinger community. And also on the topic of
pineapple as a restaurant I go to when I order
a thing of fruit, I don't want ninety pineapple. Stop it.

(14:08):
What do you want? I want raspberries, blueberries, the pineapples,
order berries. What about melon? A nice melon? Occasionally you
can have a little pineapple though, right their tea stinks. OK,
I gotta get him to switch to Java.

Speaker 9 (14:24):
For the most part, do you like the ship's patrick, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
for the most smart other than the shows, other than
my shows.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
But yeah, No, you're traveling, you're eating uh endlessly.

Speaker 9 (14:34):
It's funny that you eat that they have those buffets,
because you'd think, like you need to stay afloat, but
you eat those buffets. The ship gets further crazy that. Yeah,
you even the ship you come back to port as
a submarine, you.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
Know, and you're not allowed to what's the word the
guests hang out with the on the actual Yeah? Bang
the help? I think bang? Help it. Do you have
like a separate Is there like a little nightclub just
for the staff? Yes, there is a crew bar and
can you it's a gray, very gray area. And I

(15:10):
think it's almost like you get punished if you get caught. Oh,
just don't get caught. A lot of guys are real
sneaky about it, you know.

Speaker 9 (15:17):
Have you ever had a yeah, doing some of the
things that I've done, Yeah, Yeah, let naturally things happen,
you know.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
On the high season. Sure you can't stop your patrick,
you can't stop international waters out there on the shop
and anything. So some of these things are still perfectly legal.
If you're twenty miles off shore, people know how to
stay out the cameras. Yeah, he speaking of an offshore
and illegal Did you see this marijuana survey? This is
kind of an interesting story there. We like to look

(15:47):
at these various studies. Cannabis in the news all the
time now because it's legal and what is it twenty
I can never remember where it's legal anymore.

Speaker 7 (15:55):
But now study suggests cannabis use significantly reduces sexual function
in men. Researchers found men who regularly use cannabis reported
lower sexual satisfaction, lower sexual desire, and more irrectile dysfunction. Yeah,
Cannabis users also struggled well sexually, struggled with sexual esteem,

(16:16):
and elevated sexual related depression. Chronic use has been linked
to lower testosterone levels, vascular problems, and disruptions in brain
regions that regulate sexual functions.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
Interesting. I'm surprised they haven't come up with some way
to counter that. Maybe like a combination of c. Alison. THHC.
You know THHC Alice. Oh you got it right there,
THHD Alice. It makes you Uh, how do I could
word this delicately? I don't know how high and hard

(16:50):
high high hard one and hardy high. You're you're killing it, Josh,
that's perfect. Uh the cush for your bush. There you go,
thank it. Something's coming, I mean somebody? Uh something is it?
I don't smoke. Is this a thing though? I mean,

(17:11):
is this like the equivalent of whiskey dick? Do you
think this is more long term?

Speaker 12 (17:16):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (17:17):
Is it?

Speaker 1 (17:17):
Yes? From what I've read it is, yeah.

Speaker 7 (17:21):
I am not usual. I don't know because I have
never because I've never been with the man who uses
a lot of marijuana. And I've that you know of Well,
that's true.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Andy has many secrets. And you mean the captain, I mean,
where is he? It's four a m Andy? You mean
are you? Are you talking about Chief Big Bong so
smoking peace pipe? What you're saying, Josh, this is if

(17:53):
you get super high. It doesn't mean that it might
affect you then, But this is more long term. Use
it over up the long regular user like right, okay,
like bong dong or something. He's might be a thing.
He's got a new movie out, Mickey seventeen. It's really good.
Oh no, that's Bong who June or whatever. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah,

(18:15):
you're right. When you're right, you're right. Yeah. Robert Pattison
a great little act. Our guest in the studio is
the very handsome Patrick Keene. Uh. Patrick, you said your
parents won from Michigan one from Ohio. Yeah, now you're
living in Arizona. I'm are you of Irish heritage? I
assume with the name like that. Yeah, I grew up Irish.
I'm not practicing anymore.

Speaker 9 (18:36):
Okay the bottle but yeah, yeah, yeah, we used to, like,
you know, whenever our dad caught us drinking beer as kids,
we're only punished if it was non alcoholic.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
You guys got an Irish family. Oh yeah, that's why
we have a reputation to all this. You kids are
out of here. That's a well earned one. What you
went to high school though?

Speaker 9 (19:03):
And yeah in Santa Margarita, Carson Palmer just got named
our high school football coach out there. Yeah, so he's
he's coach Charnold High School team there. And yeah, raising
the suburbs and a lot of suburban fathers.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
You guys know this.

Speaker 9 (19:17):
A lot of suburban fathers think their kids are going
to the pros and it's not happening. And it's like, Yeah,
your son's in the wrong end zone, pretending he's an airplane,
you know, playing with you know, playing with Dandy Lyons.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
I don't think he's going to play in the NFL.

Speaker 9 (19:30):
My dad did his part. He was a big guy
who's athletic. But if you want a son in the
big leagues, you need to marry a big farm girl,
or a tough inner city girl or a big, tough
South Pacific Island woman. Brian, you marry a sweet little
Irish girl who likes musicals. Your son might turn out
to be a Misshape and stand up comedian. Yeah, a
very good burger from me to thank you. Patrick Keene

(19:51):
is our guest. I turn over that way, can't I
ask a question?

Speaker 7 (19:54):
What was your high school team name? The Santa Margharita.

Speaker 1 (19:58):
Eagles because there's mountains there and.

Speaker 7 (20:00):
Oh that would have been great.

Speaker 6 (20:04):
Yeah, how did you go to one of those l
A high schools that had the outdoor lockers?

Speaker 1 (20:10):
Outdoor lockers and it is so weird, it's like, and
then then they now the malls are that way in
California and some lockers. Yeah cool, every TV show, don't
They use the same school for every TV show? But
it's so well, Tell me I can record one show
and watch another. I don't know what you're talking about

(20:31):
when you say outdoor lockers, I don't get it. You
had indoor lockers, right, you're a good Ohio boy, just
like me. Inside of course. Oh yeah, locks are freeze,
absolutely right. Yeah. I had to work coat and tie
all through high school. Speaking of that, I bet you
did you privilege all right, my father.

Speaker 7 (20:54):
A new poll shows that wearing more dressy attire can
give the average man a confidence boost.

Speaker 3 (21:00):
Is that right?

Speaker 7 (21:00):
Commissioned by Generation Tucks, the Talker Research survey of American
men revealed that on the average man feels nearly seventy
percent more confident when sporting their best suit.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Or TUXI seventy's a huge Could I once again say
consider the source Generation Tucks. First of all, great name,
Oh that is a great name. And this is obviously
this is the season for tuxedo or tuxedo rental is
a bit wedding.

Speaker 6 (21:32):
The Generation talk sounds like the age you get hemorrhoids.
It's part of generation talks.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
Yeah, you've got that HEROD soothing cool after you've had
a baby an age component to roids, I think so
just everything's been around long enough. Have you ever had
him gravity takes it's told. No, thankfully, I have not
bat never had him.

Speaker 6 (21:54):
No, I've had an anal fisher. Yes, I've got an
anal fisher.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
Everybody get comfortable.

Speaker 6 (22:00):
I know you are a fisherman. Yeah, I'm gonna I'm
an anal fisher. I like to put treble hooks on her.

Speaker 13 (22:08):
Now.

Speaker 6 (22:08):
I had a h I don't know how I got
the anal fisher. And I asked and they said it
just happened.

Speaker 1 (22:13):
Begging. I've never been pegged. I had. I had a
fistula on my tailboaugh, you had, oh dear, that's what
you like to hear about that. I hope they eased
it in countis. I didn't grown hair that they found
when I was a senior in high school that had
to hurt. They had to sew me back up. I
had two holes. Wow, wows we have to do count
fistula for okay, yeah, we can do that now. But

(22:36):
So the point of the survey is, if you're wearing
fancy your clothes, you you behave better.

Speaker 7 (22:42):
I disagree, feel more confident.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
I feel way less confident.

Speaker 7 (22:44):
I think that's really surprising. Eighty five percent said they
know the difference between a suit and a tuxedo. Fifteen
percent of men don't know the difference.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
That's that's about right. I'm sure a lot of a
lot of guys never have to get dressed up at all.

Speaker 7 (22:56):
All right. One in five men admit they don't feel
confident about knowing how to tie a neck tie, and
fifty percent said they cannot tie a bow tie.

Speaker 1 (23:04):
That's really hard. I can't either. I have a fake
bow tie, yes, most I have a clip on bow tie. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (23:13):
Now I don't own any clip on necktimes. But you
guys know, I am a big proponent.

Speaker 7 (23:18):
Of them, the people surveyed do I am not.

Speaker 1 (23:21):
I don't know. You cannot tell the difference. When I
went to high school. The first day there, they walk
around and they grab your tying yanked, and there was
one guy had a fake tie on with a preppy
bullies worse. Oh no, there isn't. Yeah, fry having no
pubic here and you wonder why I hate athletes. There
you go. Yeah, I looked like Patrick Keane after he

(23:42):
got out of the cold toel plug. You know. Okay,
but yeah I can tie a regular time obvious. Sure, sure,
but not obviously a lot of men can't. I bet
I just had to wear one for something and it
took me five or six tries. I kept having them. Yes,
back part a little too low. I was going to say,
I never nail it for ever, but I love it
in the movies where the guy does that, takes a

(24:03):
pair of scissors and cuts it off. I got it.
Now we're good. What is that a Stooges movie? I
don't think. Yeah, Harpo marks. Oh it's the best. What Yeah?
And of course I have a couple of Jerry Garcia ties,
which of course ties into our theme today, which is
the song Dire Wolf, Let's get back.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
I have familiar with tire.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Jerry, Welcome to Hell. This is our theme. Sorry, Patrick,
you know this? Patrick, I don't know this one, of
course not. Here's the hook right now, don't murder me.
Jerry Garcia and uh Robert Hunter wrote that one for
the Grateful Dead, and the Dire Wolf is in the
news because that some corporation is doing the Christopher genome

(24:46):
splicing or whatever that happens, and they're creating new di
I think we are alone now, Josh okay, sorry, So
would you wear a.

Speaker 6 (24:53):
Clip on tie then, johsh I don't, but I think
we I think they should be socially acceptable. They look
if you had to line up of ten guys and
they're all wearing neck ties, you could not pick out
the guy who's wearing the clip on.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
Do you have a clip on? Ascott? Is that correct? Yes?
Of course absolutely. That's from the Charles Nelson Riley and
the line it's in the same box as my cigarette hole?

Speaker 7 (25:16):
Is anybody trying to smoking jackets?

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Perstine dove tonsils? Is what I like to go about.
Is there a contemporary actor that is trying to pull
off the ask on? I don't think so. Peter Macgdonovitch,
the director, did it.

Speaker 7 (25:28):
A lot yet looks very cool, really very European, very cool.

Speaker 1 (25:32):
Yes, yeah, like mister Furley. Oh yeah, all in on
the bend, O, mister Paul. While we have you here,
I did have a question for question. Where is the
Sistine Chapel located right next to the fifteenth Chapel. That's now.

(25:58):
You drove paul In around players Columbus so high. I
drove him around. He had issues issues with drinking, so
they didn't want to have him get another d U I,
so it was my job.

Speaker 6 (26:08):
Will you please tell the story of it. There was
an aroma and he he claimed and you can use
the V word, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was. I
was taking him.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
I got him off the plane and uh, you got
you took him from the air and get him off
on the planet. I'm sure of it, or does bringing act?
Was one day the dame in my hand took him
to this horrible Volkswagen. I had him and his partner
and they had two dogs with them, and I drive
them to Columbus across from the the Neil House was

(26:38):
it was where the the show was at. And there's
a trailer behind the theater and I get him the trailer.
It has been clean. Henry Winkler was there the week before,
and it's filthy. It's just stuff everywhere. And he comes
into the trailer and it smells like vagina. I think.

Speaker 9 (26:55):
Coming up in just a couple of minutes. Comedian Nick Griffin,
he's one of our favorites. Have him coming up next.
This is the Bottom Tom Show.

Speaker 14 (27:10):
Have you always wanted to do voice impressions but no
one can figure out who you're supposed to be?

Speaker 1 (27:16):
Oh man, that just happened to me last weekend. I
walked into a party.

Speaker 15 (27:20):
I said, my name is Bond, James Bond, I'll have
a Martine Shaken not starting, and they all just stared
at me.

Speaker 14 (27:30):
Well, now you can learn directly from the master comedian
and impressionist Frank Kellyando.

Speaker 16 (27:36):
Hi, I'm Frank Kellyandoor or wait, wait, wait wait, Maybe
it's not Frank. Maybe it's me oh Jeff Goldoomar, Or
maybe it's not.

Speaker 1 (27:45):
I'm joking. It really is me Frank Kellando.

Speaker 16 (27:48):
And I'm here to tell you about my amazing new program,
the Voice Impersonator School of America. That's where I teach
everyday people to do dead unimpressionts like Liam nice. I
have a very particular subtle skills, and one of those
skills is teaching people how to talk like Liam Neeson.

Speaker 1 (28:07):
Pretty neat huh.

Speaker 14 (28:10):
The Voice Impersonator School of America. Just listen to what
this graduate has to say.

Speaker 17 (28:16):
I never was no good at doing impersonalizations until I
went to Frank's school.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
But now we'll check this out. Are you talking to me?
Are you talking to me?

Speaker 17 (28:26):
You must be talking to me because I'm Robert de
Niro in that one movie where I drive a cat?

Speaker 1 (28:30):
Are you talking to me? That was Robert de Niro?
Pretty good? Right?

Speaker 17 (28:35):
This school is a great investment and there's no risk.
If you don't pass each voice with a B plus
or better, you get your money back. So far, Frank
hasn't had to refund us single Damn right, I'm thinking
about getting my master's degree, or, as the terminator Arnold
Schwarzenegger would say, I will be back.

Speaker 1 (28:54):
It's an A plus, my friend.

Speaker 14 (28:58):
Don't delay. Classes are filling up fast. You can learn
all one thousand voices from the men of a thousand
voices for just twenty thousand dollars. That's only twenty dollar's
per voice. Let's listen in on a classroom as Frank
shares his gift with students.

Speaker 16 (29:14):
Okay, remember the voice is deep and gravelly in the
back of your throat. You are Al Pacino. Repeat after me.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
Who ah wow, that was amazing.

Speaker 16 (29:29):
Every single one you get to a Okay, Al Pacino
was six twenty eight, number six twenty nine, repeat after me.

Speaker 18 (29:36):
Alrighty, Frank, you tell your mom and dad. I said, hello,
excuse me, Professor Kelleno.

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yes you have a question. Who was that supposed to be?

Speaker 16 (29:52):
That's Dennis, the guy who worked at the corner store
in my neighborhood as a kid.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
Nice guy. Ay, pluses all around.

Speaker 19 (29:59):
Number six thirty is a good one, Ted Night, try
this spoiling. I want you in the golf course in
five minutes. Drop great A plus for everyone now Ted
Knight's laugh.

Speaker 1 (30:19):
Oh wait, those count as two? Yes, yes, Ted Night
is one and Ted Knight's laugh is two.

Speaker 16 (30:30):
Maybe you should have signed up for math class, not
Voice impressions class.

Speaker 20 (30:36):
This is Morgan Freeman as portrayed by my good friend
Frank Calando. If I were really here, I tell you
Frank's school is completely legit, and I encourage everyone to.

Speaker 1 (30:48):
Enroll immediately tell them. Morgan Freeman, Sancha.

Speaker 9 (30:52):
Morgan Freeman and all other celebrity voices are fake impersonations
by celebrity voice impersonator Frank Calando, who claims he's also
a celebrity.

Speaker 14 (31:00):
Hey, I am a celebrity voice impersonator. School of America.
Call now to enroll before any lawyers get one of this.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
So call that number on the screen. It's probably no
number on sprinkers. There's radio. I mean make up the number.
Dial it. They'll probably be me for for four boom.
Very much.

Speaker 9 (31:20):
More of the Bob and Tom Show. Now, welcome back.
This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's
a segment with one of our favorites, comedian Nick Griffin.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
And we'll move forward here we do have Christy Lee
as you can hear and see what's happening.

Speaker 7 (31:33):
A school in the UK is trying to help students
get over their fear of making phone calls. According to
the BBC, Nottingham College is running coaching sessions that help
those suffering from so called telephobia. During the session, students
practice etiquette and build confidence my role playing interviews. Attendees
are also encouraged to call restaurants about their operating hours,

(31:57):
as well as stores to see if certain items are
in stop. A recent survey of two thousand people found
nearly seventy percent of people aged eighteen to thirty four
prefer a text to a phone call, with twenty three
percent of the same age group, saying they never pick
up calls.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
Wow, all right, man, I don't get it. Well.

Speaker 7 (32:17):
Sixteen year old student Donna told the BBC she was
mostly anxious when the phone rang because it's normalized for
our generation to be used to text messages. You're talking
about her. Yeah, so if the phone rings, she immediately
thinks it's an emergency.

Speaker 1 (32:30):
And I could see that they trained themselves right, right,
So the class is trying to get them to stop
being afraid of the phone, right, Do they do a
thing about being afraid as a dentist? Yeah? That is helpful,
isn't the UK? You see?

Speaker 5 (32:44):
Oh I.

Speaker 1 (32:46):
Know what he's doing. Yeah, I Kennedy. Let any these
stories go by about at least No.

Speaker 21 (32:52):
I have a child who had a job and they
got sick and they're like what are I doing? I go, well,
you just got call into work and they go what
do you?

Speaker 1 (33:00):
How do I do that? And I go, you call
you call. They go like.

Speaker 21 (33:05):
Like call call and I go, yeah, just call your
boss and tell them you're sick. They they're like, I
can't text them, and I go, well, they didn't have
their number. I was like, no, just call the police.
It two hours before they felt comfortable to work up
the nerve to call and speak with someone else.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
Sell out offices. It's a hotline.

Speaker 6 (33:26):
Really, You call a number and you just say, hey,
I'm not this is Josh Arnold, I'm not coming in today,
and then the person when they get to work goes through.
Uh so you don't have to Yeah, so that's not
there's no reason to have this course. No, these these
people will never all of a sudden start calling each other.
They're already raised.

Speaker 21 (33:46):
In true Well, there was a news story I don't
think we covered a couple weeks ago about how these
new people interviewing over zoom don't want to be seen.
What Yeah, they're doing zoom interviews and they won't turn
on their camera. Like twenty five percent of the people
refuse to turn on their cameras for a Zoom interview.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Oh you're not hired. Yeah, that's exactly what I want. Yeah,
here interview over right right next? Yeah these are job interviews.
Yeah are They say they don't want.

Speaker 7 (34:18):
It because they don't want to be judged by the
way they look that.

Speaker 21 (34:23):
I didn't get that far into it. They just said
they were uncomfortable doing Ay, they would zoom, but not
on camera.

Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yeah, they're probably using some kind of excuse involving being
discriminated against because they're a booger reading more on.

Speaker 7 (34:41):
Oh sorry, you think you could hold the booger reading
during an interview?

Speaker 1 (34:47):
I don't just wait, Nick Griffin. When was the last
time you had a job? Interview? Oh god, I'm so sorry.
Did you ever have a job?

Speaker 22 (34:58):
Yeah?

Speaker 23 (34:59):
When I lived in New York. Well, you know what
my last job was. My last job was being a
maid in La No kidding.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
Yeah.

Speaker 23 (35:05):
It was called made to order and you went to
a home office in the morning and they gave you
work orders, and you would go to the various apartments.
Sometimes there was a key under the mat. Sometimes they
were there and you would clean their house.

Speaker 1 (35:18):
And you would wear like the.

Speaker 23 (35:21):
Yes, I would wear the maid out fit, a complete
cover for a prostitution. That's what I was trying to
get at.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Right, are you a good cleaner?

Speaker 23 (35:35):
I'm much better. I grew up with six brothers and sisters,
and I just my parents weren't. Uh you know, how
do you control how do you get six kids to
clean their eyes? So I wasn't until I became a
maid that I was a good Now, now my apartment
is spotless.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
That's not a bad gig. You go and you're solitary.

Speaker 23 (35:56):
Yeah, yeah, I remember there was this one house so
that and I I did it more than once where
there was a little boy's probably like five, and his
mom would let him walk around with me as I'm
doing the part and go, no, you miss that.

Speaker 1 (36:09):
I know you miss that? Well, you miss that? Did
you like it or hate it? I hate it? That's incredible.
Sounds like a good premise for a movie. Yeah, a
guy going to clean stranger's houses. God, that's fun. That's cool.

Speaker 7 (36:29):
I hate being there when someone's cleaning my house. I
hate that.

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yeah, I could see that. It's awkward. I don't Yeah,
what do they find stuff?

Speaker 7 (36:37):
And no, But it's just I feel like I'm in
her way and it's just awkward. And I mean, and
she's like a family member. I've yeah, yeah, apparently everything
to avoid her, avoiding her. I've been to her daughter's wedding.
I love her, but it's just I feel like I'm
in her way and I don't want to hurt going home,
going Do.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
You feel obligated to entertain her and engage her in conversation.

Speaker 7 (36:59):
Yes, yeah, yeah, yes, I feel like I should be
cleaning my own house.

Speaker 21 (37:04):
Oh my dad one time hired a maid for my
mother to help her out, right, But my mom cleaned
for twenty four hours straight before the woman came because
she didn't want her to see how badly we lived,
I guess, and so there was no point of.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Ridiculous. Yeah, but it worked, though the end result was
the same houseless clean. Yeah, some money, but you clean too.

Speaker 7 (37:35):
I tend to pick up everything, yes, and then we
my husband now starts the sheets before she gets there,
and so we help her out a lot.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
But I still feel now when you say this was
just to clarify your husband what it starts the sheets
in the washing machine, Yes, it doesn't. It doesn't soil them.
To give her something to do, start those sheets, I
left the freshman get to work. It's just a monster.
I see that looks like mainland China, doesn't. I'm pretty

(38:08):
proud of it.

Speaker 7 (38:09):
The farthest from the truth of my ases.

Speaker 5 (38:11):
You know that.

Speaker 1 (38:11):
Okay, so what else you've got over there?

Speaker 7 (38:15):
This guy calls himself the world's most famous sperm donor,
and he says he plans to father one hundred children
by the end of this year. Mister Kyle Gordie, who
also refers to himself as quote CEO of sperm donating,
offers both remote and.

Speaker 1 (38:31):
In person erminator or something. Yeah, I mean it just
has no ring to it.

Speaker 7 (38:37):
We didn't say it was creative. Remote and in person
inseemination is available for women looking to conceive all. Wait
a minute, all for free.

Speaker 1 (38:46):
In person insemination mean actual intimacy, I doubt. And he's oh,
how tigerous he's doing it for free.

Speaker 7 (38:53):
Yes, The thirty two year old has fathered eighty seven
children so far, but recently learned that he's on track
to hit one hundred babies by the end of the year.
Mister Gordy told jam Press, it feels great to be
a dad of so many children.

Speaker 1 (39:07):
How many eighty seven so far? Dude, that guy's tie
collection has to be Oh boys, wail the child's support
knocks on the door exactly.

Speaker 7 (39:19):
He says he's helped conceive all across the globe. The
serial sperm donor said he plans to surpass Telegram founder
Pavel Durou, who is reported to have at least one
hundred biological children, and this gentleman is currently on a
twenty twenty five donation world tour and jokes he might
have a quote child in each country by twenty twenty six.

Speaker 1 (39:39):
This is an odd thing.

Speaker 22 (39:41):
There was a character on one of the guys on
ninety Day Fiance who that was his job. He go
around and help out you know, same sex couple. In
other words, he would donate his sperm. But I mean
it's sometimes in the natural way. Oh really, Oh the big,
big chill style. And that's what caused the problem in
his relationship fiance wouldn't hurt him to stop?

Speaker 1 (40:02):
Imagine? Yeah, not an.

Speaker 7 (40:05):
Unreasonable mister Gordy said he's helped Tom dozens of women conceive,
but he also remains unlucky in love, probably for that very.

Speaker 1 (40:15):
No, probably because he calls it, what did he call himself,
the CEO of sperm don Something cool. If you're wearing
a big I'm a sperm donor T shirt at the bars,
the ladies are gonna go, hey, look as the guy
with a female body inspector hat, I want to talk
to that guy? I kind of have a sperm donor
T shirt, you know what I mean? In a way.

Speaker 9 (40:38):
Lots more coming up. Next hour, Dustin Nickerson and Roy
Wood Junior. But coming up next Billy Gardell and our
good friend Drew Powell. That's next. This is the Bob
and Tom Show. You've got the Bob and Tom Show,

(40:58):
the best of the Bob and Tom Show. This is
Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. Here is a
segment with actors Billy Gardell and Drew Powell.

Speaker 6 (41:06):
We are joined this morning by I think most people
would say two of the biggest jerks out of her
I mean just.

Speaker 1 (41:15):
I don't understand. Why be around really difficult. Yeah, we're
part of a trio, the Jerks. The jerk. Billy Gardell,
comedian and actor, has joined us in the studio. Been
talking to Billy and then an old friend of the show.
He is an actor. I almost said comedian, you're a

(41:37):
very funny one. He's actor Drew Powell. And Drew is
currently featured in a show that I'm actually watching called
The Pit, which is not like The Pit and the Pendulum.
It takes place in an emergency room and he well, no,
I didn't. That's the problem with the titles of some
of this stuff. Unless you know what it's about, you
don't know I mean the show er. I get it's

(41:59):
about an emergency the Pit. I what is it? So
I conkfessed in any of it. It's a great show.
It's a great show.

Speaker 11 (42:07):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (42:07):
And it takes place. Each episode of the show was
one hour of real time, yes, right in an emergency
room in Pittsburgh, sir. Now, I'm like four or five
episodes in. All I've seen is you are in the
in the waiting room bitching at everybody. And I have
been told it gets worse.

Speaker 24 (42:27):
Yes, well, the the Yeah, it's it is a incredible show.
It is awesome to be a part of.

Speaker 1 (42:33):
Uh.

Speaker 24 (42:33):
No, Wiley is the star. You might remember him from R.
We were actually on another show on the show called
Leverage in New Orleans. Great and uh we had a
lot of fun with that. He was acting in that
in the morning and then writing for The Pit in
the afternoon, and so that guy was doing double duty.
And he was telling me about it and he's like,
I said, oh man, this sounds pretty good. And he
said John Wells who did R and the West Wing

(42:54):
and Shameless, and you know Scott Gemmel who did the
original R. I'm like, this sounds like this is going
to be really good, didn't I said, you better get
me in there.

Speaker 25 (43:01):
Hey and.

Speaker 1 (43:04):
Audition believe me?

Speaker 7 (43:05):
What is it like?

Speaker 1 (43:05):
We have two actors in here. You guys have never met,
but you immediately start comparing and all of a sudden,
so you know certain guys and how do I get
on that? Oh?

Speaker 24 (43:13):
Yeah, yeah, well, I mean I loved what you said, uh,
the last bit about how you you and Lance would see.

Speaker 1 (43:18):
Each other every Addish exactly.

Speaker 24 (43:21):
I have the same thing for me. It was Eric
stone Street who ended up doing uh uh you it's
your type, right, Yeah, there's a room full of guys
like me and Eric. Were you guys like five years
down the road now today in today's.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
World we were talking not too long ago you auditioned.
Just you're in your kitchen with a with a video camera,
so you don't have that thing of seeing the same
guy that looks kind of like you, that can do
the same thing, and I don't care for it.

Speaker 13 (43:49):
Do you like the phone, Audish, because I believe you
bring your energy into the room and I used to
like that.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
Yeah. Absolutely, I mean it's true you've been great here today,
but every time we litened the phone, it's this is right.

Speaker 13 (44:02):
When you do an audition on the phone. It's right
up there with the knowledge everybody.

Speaker 24 (44:07):
Everybody, okay, Chris, Yeah, No, I did one yesterday in
my parents living room with my wife on the FaceTime.

Speaker 1 (44:14):
My wife's right the next question. So if your wife's
doing all of a sudden she become a director and
go wait to all that was a terrible they're born directors.
We need to please.

Speaker 6 (44:33):
I've read sides, that's right, I know the terms. I
was reading super comedian Greg Warren. He was auditioning Greg
and he started yelling at me because I was really acting.

Speaker 13 (44:46):
He goes, you know you're not auditioning. You know what's funny.
Greg Warren was the original Molly and I'll tell you
how I got the audition for Mike and Molly. And
I was working on my audition and I was in
Saint Louis and uh and I was working a funny
bond there and Greg was in town and I go, hey, Man,
can you come over and just read these sides with me?

(45:07):
And Greg man he did. He treated it like wrestling practice.
I'm run to go over these side. I'm suppresident come
with a whistle. But he really, really he helped me man,
we ran that thing till I knew it airtight. And
I was so grateful because I was so prepared when
I went out there. And then I guess about two

(45:27):
years into Mike and Molly, they had me guest host
the Late Show for a week for Craig Ferguson and Uh.
I got to pick a few guests, and Greg was
my first guest because.

Speaker 1 (45:35):
I would come on and I wing, and also you
knew we wouldn't bring a date so it'd be more food.
I can't be nice. Come on with we're hanging out.
This is so much fun. We're hanging out with a
comedian and actor Billy Guarded and actor Drew Powell.

Speaker 7 (45:51):
I do have some news about the Pit because season
one just ended in the middle of April, and HBO
has already announced that season two will prove mere in
January of twenty twenty.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Yeah. And by the way, Christy, you can't watch it.
I know it's too nicely, that's a nice deep breath
before summer.

Speaker 4 (46:09):
Right.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
It picked up the question are you still going to
be a patient? I don't know. Okay, I don't know.
I don't know. It's uh, and they not only have
they said that they've actually said.

Speaker 24 (46:23):
What I read is that it's going to be ten
months in the future, moving on from last season, and
it's going to be over at the digital July fourth
weekend because apparently they get a lot.

Speaker 13 (46:32):
Of action on the listen in Pittsburgh July fourth. There's
going to be some fireworking. I promise you, I promise.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
I was actually I told this story not I was
having I was at a fireworks event and before the fireworks,
that was like a buffet thing, and I sat down
with a guy I didn't know that was an e. R. Doc.
He wasn't able to drink that night because his wife
would later explain, Oh, yeah, he'll be sewing somebody's eye
back in in about three hours. This is a d
D that designate the doctor. They'll get some they'll get

(47:02):
some uh, they'll get some action on July. It's a
great show. But now two things. One, the beard looks good,
thank you, thank you.

Speaker 24 (47:10):
A little more gray in it thanks to that strike
and freaking COVID. Okay, it's been rough because they say
that the gray comes like six months later or the
year later.

Speaker 1 (47:19):
I'm like, it's coming now. You are also working on
the the upgrade of what is it the reboot.

Speaker 24 (47:26):
Reboot sequel of Malcome in the Middle. Yes, excellent, And
that's that. I just came from that. So I was
in Vancouver, took the Red Eye so I can get
here for the Pacers game, my beloved Pacers, which we want.
And then uh, it was and you'll appreciate this, billy
like I got my sag card on that job. That
was the job that I had. The audition, I poked
myself in the eye and the audition literally, so I

(47:49):
gotta tell this story real quick. So the line I
was tough auditioning for Tough Cadet number two. And the
line was I'm looking down the hallway and I say,
comment on the floor ten hut. And this was at
CBS Radford Stu right down. I walked there from my
place where I was living. It's packed, the producers, the directors,
the casting. It's in one of those ty little rooms.
Guys sitting on the edge of the couch. It's just packed, nervous.

(48:11):
I got my little army shirt on a big moment
and I say coming on the floors and hut. And
I when I tell you, I hit eyeball like the
douchiness of my retina, and I just yelled an expletive
at the top of my lungs because there was no
like trying to couch it. And so I'm I'm down
with my hand over my eye and it's quiet for
a minute, and then the laughter starts, and then it

(48:34):
gets bigger, and then it gets bigger, and then a
dude fell off the couch. They absolutely wet themselves laughing
at me, probably, but I got the job. And and
what happens is you get taft heartly and they say, well,
we couldn't find anybody, so please let them in the union.

Speaker 1 (48:49):
And that's a big moment. I got taft tartly too.
On what show do you remember?

Speaker 13 (48:52):
I don't remember. It may have been King of Queens.
That might have been the one, because my friend I
had a similar thing happened to me. But it was
because it's like a weird thing happens, why you get
the job. I auditioned for Desperate Housewives one year, and
it was it was all these muscular like there was
supposed to be an undercover detective, but he's supposed to

(49:13):
be real handsome and rugged. And I opened the door,
you know, like the michelin Man and it's a room
full of guys that look perfect.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
I'm like, you know what, I'm staying.

Speaker 13 (49:24):
Yeah, yeah, and I was for somehow I got that
part and I ended up I had a scene with
Eva Loungera, got to kiss her to cover the bad guys,
and uh, and it was great to just put all
those muscle guys on him.

Speaker 1 (49:38):
It doesn't that feel good? It really did it, really
did it.

Speaker 13 (49:40):
I'm not usually a spiteful person, but yeah, everybody looks
like Clark Kent.

Speaker 5 (49:48):
I was.

Speaker 1 (49:48):
I was reading this book about it just to say
this very very famous actor and uh. He was saying,
no matter how good people are and how famous they are,
actors are all the same. But it'll always be. He
was literally working with Laurence Olivier and he goes, I'm
not sure I'm going to get a gig after this.

Speaker 13 (50:03):
Yeah, it's a minute. You wrap, absolutely well.

Speaker 1 (50:07):
It's over. Yeah, you done.

Speaker 24 (50:09):
Dustin Hoffman said, the best part about being an actors
are always running scared, and the worst part about being
an actor you're always running scared.

Speaker 1 (50:15):
Is that's the truth. So now are you done with
Malcolm in the Middle.

Speaker 24 (50:18):
Yeah, we finished. They're still going. But uh so basically
there there, It's twenty five years on and everybody's back.
I have to tell you, man, it was such an
emotional experience. I was so surprised because we all came back.
I hadn't seen most of the people for twenty five years.
I just worked with Brian's daughter, who's in the pit.
She plays mel King the you know, the one with

(50:38):
the sister, and she's she's really chaming.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
She's show on the spectrum in the show. Yeah, I think, so, yeah,
that's kind of I'm flying. So it's it's it was.

Speaker 24 (50:47):
It was like everybody just kept hugging and crying and
there's just because you don't get to do that in
the show, right, and you know, you don't get to
come back twenty five years later. In fact, Brian said
it was me and there's two other cadets. We were
in the military school and they said, you guys are
the age I was when I was doing Malcolm in
the Middle.

Speaker 26 (51:02):
Wow.

Speaker 24 (51:02):
It was like, whoa, this is full circle moment and
everybody picked up where they left up. The first thing
I walk in the set and I see Brian and
Jane Hallan lewis like making out in the corner, and
and everybody's trying not to be loud because we're all
laughing so hard. It's it's gonna be great.

Speaker 13 (51:18):
What did they bring Gary Anthony Williams back. Yeah, he's
a dear friend. Oh, I'm so happy to hear that.
I love that guy. Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
Yeah, he's he does. Who's do you do? Who's learning
as well? With all this? He does? He does?

Speaker 13 (51:29):
Yeah, and it's super counted. But we got him in
Mike and Mally a couple of times. Just a great guy.
Our kids went to the same elementary school, so me
and Gary during our unemployed phase, we were the guys
picking our kids up.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Nothing. Yeah, I see it, There is there any Would
there ever be a Mike and Molly reboot?

Speaker 13 (51:52):
I don't know, man, I'd certainly be open to it.
I think that's kind of a trend now, is to
most of the castle. Yeah, we all have lunch about
every month. Once a month we all get together and
have and we check on out each other's kids.

Speaker 1 (52:05):
And which is the gentleman who played well? I guess
it would be like the father in law or whatever.
What's what's his name? Mister man? Vince means yeah, yeah,
he's not acting.

Speaker 12 (52:16):
That's they found him in Buffalo and I just worked
with him on the Cooper's Bar.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
That's his thing, right on.

Speaker 13 (52:26):
The greatest guy in the world. Man, All you got
to do is ask him what's bothering you today?

Speaker 1 (52:32):
Tell you okay? Now you know I'm not one to complain.

Speaker 9 (52:35):
Coming up in just a couple of minutes. Another one
of our good friends and regulars. Whenever he's around, Roy
would Junior coming up next.

Speaker 3 (52:59):
The house, right next to me. I like to watch
her from behind.

Speaker 27 (53:04):
The truth too, has a mini skirt when she's cooking
meals and vacuums the floor in stiletto heels.

Speaker 3 (53:14):
She may be a mommy, but she still looks hot.
She acts like a lady, but I hope she's not.
I wanna tell her I should see her a man.
I wanna take a ride in her many event. I'm
in love. He's in love with the milf next doors.

Speaker 1 (53:36):
The milf fuck the mill.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
Flext do get me half have a.

Speaker 11 (53:41):
Chance and a bed off score the milf the mill
next door.

Speaker 3 (53:47):
She's a fantasy I've been searching for. I'm in love.

Speaker 27 (53:52):
He's in love with the milf next.

Speaker 3 (53:56):
Door every sadder day when the kids are gone. She
works in the yard with a bikini. I open the
the curtains and take up piek. She smiles at me

(54:17):
and my niece get me. She walks down the street
and she's looking good. She's a hit with the daddy's
in the neighborhood, and down at the school.

Speaker 28 (54:29):
All the teachers say she's got the hardest gass and
the peaty.

Speaker 3 (54:36):
I'm in love. He's in love with the milk next door, Milf,
the milk next door, give me half, have.

Speaker 11 (54:46):
A chance and a bed all store the elf, the
milf next door, She's the fantasy I've been searching for.

Speaker 3 (54:56):
I'm in love, he say, with the milf next door.
M his hormer love his June.

Speaker 4 (55:09):
I is more.

Speaker 3 (55:11):
I'll be with you.

Speaker 1 (55:13):
L is for.

Speaker 29 (55:15):
Luck and is for the fun.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Will have.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
In love?

Speaker 27 (55:24):
Heason with the milf next doors of milf the milk nest.

Speaker 11 (55:29):
Do give me have had a chance, and I bet
I'll score. With the milf and the next door.

Speaker 3 (55:38):
She's the fantasy I've been searching for.

Speaker 27 (55:42):
I'm in love, he said with the milf next door.
In love, he said, with the milf next door.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
Heasy love with the milk next.

Speaker 9 (55:58):
Door had a good morning. This is the best of
the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher and the

(56:20):
Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a segment with one of
our good friends and regulars, Roy Wood Junior. Hello, Tom, Hello,
Chick mcgabe. Introduce our special guest, will you.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
Of course, I'm happy too. I'm just doing a little
homework over here. We have a comedian, Roy Wood Junior
joining us. A veteran stand up comedian now a television guy.
And television guy. He's got a bunch of different hats
that he wears on TV. And uh, he's a he's
a property. I think he's he's a sought after property.

(56:53):
That's a nice Somebody wants to be in the Roy
Wood Junior business, except it's not Roy, which is weird.
I would I would imagine that that only helps. The
more distant the acts, the more they want him. Man,
We're going to talk to Ruy in a matter of moments.
But I was doing some homework during the break well,
I was talking. I just I'm fascinated by the uh,

(57:15):
the these beautiful ships that are all over the world.
But the United States, of course, has these incredible aircraft carriers,
these instruments of death. Yes, I'm glad they're out there,
and Chick, thank you warship.

Speaker 7 (57:29):
They protect you.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
But knowing that it's there keeps the bad guys from
going away. I think I think we're going to score
a unp with this country. Oh wait a minute, you
mean they've got planes on there that can annihilate US?
Am I being a Pinco pansy? Uh? Yeah, I'm sorry,
but yeah, they're gonna be these two U two aircraft
carriers named and this. They tend to name them after
recent presidents. As a matter of fact, they have to

(57:51):
have really cool nicknames because you you know the way
they armed for they have great nicknames for everybody. So
it's got to be like the Billy or the g
Dub or something it could be. Could be in any event,
there is the USS Bill Clinton, and there's also going
to be the George W. Bush. There already is an
HW Bush. Well, why isn't there a Herbert Hoover or

(58:16):
the Coolidge? There probably has, but I googled this. This
is really interesting. The first ship named Clinton was the
USS Clinton, a Haskell class attack transport in the United
States Navy in nineteen forty five.

Speaker 6 (58:30):
Haskell class, Oh, that Sure is a beautiful airship, Little
Eddie Haskell, that Sure is a wonderful But.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
The original Clinton in the United States Navy, this is
true was used as a target in nineteen eighty four
for target practice and they sank it, which means that,
by the way, there was no one on board. So
technically Monica Lewinsky is still the only one to go
down on a Clinton, which I think is very appropriate.

(59:00):
It's a long way while we have Christie Lee at
the Silac Insurance news desk, and once again, Roy's news
special is called Lonely Flowers, and Roy, you're talking about
your family. I gather you get me obsessed with this now.

Speaker 12 (59:21):
Andrew Johnson has no Navy vessel named after him, which
I think is fair because if you're on the money,
you don't get a ship. Am I thinking about Andrew Jackson?

Speaker 1 (59:30):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (59:30):
Listen.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
I worked at the Daily Show eight years. They got
to know these things.

Speaker 12 (59:34):
Obama has nothing either, So it's it's where George Washington
had eight ships.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
Eight Yeah, to be fair, he was the first president.

Speaker 12 (59:44):
There was like no other guy to name Steph after
we got another ship well, Washington.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Most of them made of wood like his teeth eight
and Obama has none.

Speaker 23 (59:57):
Yeah.

Speaker 12 (59:58):
Time, I'm not give him a submarine or something. I'm
not gonna get my aircraft. Care does swim?

Speaker 22 (01:00:02):
How do.

Speaker 1 (01:00:04):
A fair joke? Hang on a second at Hang on?

Speaker 6 (01:00:07):
Okay, I want to you, like an answer that you
can answer for President Obamas.

Speaker 30 (01:00:14):
I can.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
He has to be able to Oh, because he graduated
from the college he went to. You have to be
able to swim to graduate. I know because I went there. Oh, Columbia,
did you I didn't I miss that? All right, Yeah,
it's a weird thing, but at the college I went to.
I'm totally serious. You had to be able to swim
to graduate. Let me ask you. When you were at
Columbia before you had and you didn't have your swimming

(01:00:37):
certificate or whatever you want to call it, did you
think of a way to fake it so you could graduate? No?
I know how to swim. Well, I'm just asking. It
seems like something that you try to skirt the rules
on to be able to that you report to the gym,
and that they.

Speaker 6 (01:00:51):
Did you have a lot of classmates or were like,
I've never done this. Absolutely I didn't, and they were
like nervous about it. You see, you're in New York City. Sure,
but a lot of New Yorkers go to Colombia. It
wasn't mostly transplants.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
I know, there're people from all over the place. But
why one friend, uh live next door to me, h
senior year, he did not know how to swim. He
was he was he was from Queens and so he
had to take swimming lessons.

Speaker 7 (01:01:18):
Did they offer license?

Speaker 1 (01:01:19):
Oh yeah, absolutely, figure it out. It's like it's the
same thing. There are a lot there are a lot
of a lot of people to grow up in New
York City, especially don't know how to drow. Oh sure,
the license brother on campus. Yeah, whether whether as swim team,

(01:01:42):
that's a good que I don't. I don't think so
that'll be. It's not big on competitions on the field
of athletics, all right. We happened to win the defensing
champions Oh look, we didn't, and we were favored by
ten Super Bowl class sword politicians. As for their not

(01:02:02):
being a ship named after Obama, I wonder if there's
a certain waiting period because they just did thee They
just did George w and they just did Clinton right?
And what about Carter? What about Ford? What about there's
no Nixon Ford. The Ford is the class of It's
that's the entire class of aircraft. Carriers were called the

(01:02:23):
Gerald R. Ford. Seriously, I'm not, Oh that's what I
came from. I thought it came from like Henry Ford
or something. I thought Ford made him, made him like
they make that. I don't know much. I'm just this
is all I know is what I'm reading in this
that scored on one line and plane on the other line.
And I don't know if I don't know if there
is a Nixon uh show. I am not a doc.

(01:02:49):
So my son is obsessed with aviation. I didn't know this.

Speaker 12 (01:02:53):
Henry Ford tried to make airplanes for a while. There
were Ford airplanes so quick minute, and then the depression
happened and he had to fall back and just focus
on cars again because the market had gotten weird. And
then that's how Bowen and McDonald douglas like gott he's
eight now man.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
We went.

Speaker 12 (01:03:12):
We went to space Camp down in Huntsville. Shout out
to space camp. Swear you spend the night and you
do the whole astronaut training and stuff. And then the
more I thought about it, after I paid money, and
then you sleep in the actual like they have like
barracks or whatever, and it's great for an eight year old.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
I'm forty six. My spine.

Speaker 12 (01:03:40):
There are better mattresses in jail, and that's not a
joke because I've been to both.

Speaker 1 (01:03:51):
In college. What do you think uncomfortable?

Speaker 6 (01:03:54):
I'd like to see that event diagram of people who've
been to space camp and jail.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
It's inch mattress with that weird no urine can get through.

Speaker 12 (01:04:06):
What's the what's the Billy May's commercial where the guy's
floating on a screen door like it's a flex seal.
It's a mattress coded and flex seal. And then you
just wake up every day and for like fourteen hours
you walk around this beautiful campus and they teach you
everything there is to know about space traveling blah blah blah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
And then at the end of it, we're.

Speaker 12 (01:04:26):
Riding back to Birmingham to my mama's house and I'm
going there's no space shuttle.

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Like, where are you? Like? What like the waiting list
for astronaut to do it?

Speaker 12 (01:04:38):
Like astronaut is a job. You you train and then
they go, you are an astronaut, Great, when do.

Speaker 3 (01:04:44):
I get to do it?

Speaker 1 (01:04:45):
We do not know? Maybe never right, or or you
are an astronaut and then you get to go up
there and then you're stuck.

Speaker 12 (01:04:55):
Like there's not enough conversation about the fact right now
that there's two people stuck in space and they don't
have an aircraft capable enough to go and get them.

Speaker 1 (01:05:05):
Yeah, and we like it's cool because oh they're on
a space station. There's other people up there. They have
Just because I have friends does not mean that i'm not.
She she did a space walk a couple of days ago,
some fresh air.

Speaker 22 (01:05:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:21):
If I only this cat falk, I'm going to kill you. Okay,
I'm going to go have a smoke.

Speaker 7 (01:05:26):
Gerald Ward, by the way, does have an aircraft carrier.

Speaker 1 (01:05:28):
Yeah. Yeah, uh, let's see. Oh it's the USS clumsy right.
Oh is the latest here we go. The latest line
of US carr is named after Gerald R. F. There's
a John F. Kennedy, Yeah, aircraft carry anyway. Yeah, they
plugged that leak and the John F.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
Kennedy.

Speaker 1 (01:05:49):
I'm going to have a hole of that.

Speaker 7 (01:05:50):
We have any aircraft named after women.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
That ironically that John f. Kennedy is referred to as
a her, isn't that Yeah, they're all referred to as they,
And I'm not kidding they in this press release they
say she will be done by Yeah. Yeah, that's all.
I mean, that's been. That's just I have a friend
that's a maritime lawyer, and he'll be going, yeah, I've
got a fly or so and so, and then you know,
she went down blah blah blah. And it's always the

(01:06:17):
sheet ladies and gentlemen. What Tom just said was I
have a friend who's a maritime lawyer.

Speaker 27 (01:06:23):
I do.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
Henry Billingsley's a maritime Billingsley and I have a feud
and I didn't even know it started, but by gosh,
I'm gonna finish. Okay, fine, really yeah. He looked at
me and it talked to me for ten seconds. He goes, well,
I would never pick you for a jury. I kissed
my ass Billingsley. How about that? Wait, say, let's be realistic.

(01:06:44):
If you're a lawyer, would you pick you for a jury. God, no, no,
I don't think I take it seriously. Be a big problem.
We're ignoring our guests. If you noticed that we're hanging
out with a comedian Roy Wood Junior, and I have
not seen your special it's called Lonely Flowers on Hulu
with es debuted, So you got to you got to
check out this weekend. And I don't know. I haven't

(01:07:05):
seen it, so I don't know much about it. But
I did hear you talking briefly in another interview recently,
and you picked up a topic that we've been talking
about a lot, which is I mentioned this earlier. For example,
I had an aunt that was kind of lonely, and
she would go out shopping and she'd go, I've got
to go buy a you know, a new lamp. And
she'd be gone all day so she could go to

(01:07:26):
ten different stores so she could talk to human beings. Yeah,
and I heard you. I just heard you briefly mentioned
the the what do they call it, the self checkout?
Not a fan, hmm, not a fan, not a fan.

Speaker 12 (01:07:38):
We really underestimated how much small talk plays a role
in keeping crazy people calm.

Speaker 1 (01:07:50):
You are just you're so right about that.

Speaker 12 (01:07:53):
Look, I'm just saying, man like the retail when retail started,
the degradation of retail in this country was the beginning
of disconnection in our society, the idea of just hey,
how you doing, how's it going your Your waitress has
twice the tables and has no time. I miss just
a regular Southern way. What are you doing all the catfish? Well,

(01:08:15):
let me tell you about the catfish. It's like that's gone.
And now the only time you see an employee is
when you do self checkout wrong. You want an employee
to appear, make a mistake, and then the self checkout
machine shoots a flare up to let everybody know you're stupid,
and then the beacon light goes off like you don't know,

(01:08:38):
please step aside, wait for the associate, you moron, and
then the employee appears out of nowhere, and then they're
rude to you because you don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
How to do their job exactly. You stand it wrong.
That's a q ain't the ball cold out the way?
It's not my fault, man, I don't. I don't like that.

Speaker 12 (01:09:02):
I really like I joke about it, but I really
do feel like having that friend. When you were in
the store and this is my section, let me know
if you want to try on anything, and that's it's gone.
It is a ghost town. And if you're somebody who
is disconnected. And a lot of people in this country
live alone. They ain't got nobody, and that cashier might

(01:09:24):
have been the one person. Look, I'm the only am
I only person that felt like I liked it when
the cashier would comment on my groceries as they came
down the belt.

Speaker 7 (01:09:32):
Oh, I like this flag.

Speaker 1 (01:09:39):
Maybe they should program Could they program the machines to
do that? It's coming.

Speaker 12 (01:09:43):
I'm sure when you have your AI cashier bot that's
gonna be there in another two three years.

Speaker 1 (01:09:50):
It'll probably remind you of what. Hey, you probably are
on a ketchup. You bought it six weeks ago. Yeah,
I had a cashier time. I was I was trying
a new health kick.

Speaker 6 (01:10:02):
And so she scanned the celery, and she scanned the
solid mix, and she scanned garadashes and she looked at me.

Speaker 1 (01:10:08):
She was trying something different. Oh jeez, she didn't know me.
I'd never seen her tot old fashioned folks. See, yeah,
that's fantastic.

Speaker 12 (01:10:21):
Yeah, the oatmeal cream pile on the building, a couple
of boxes of the little debies.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
Know you're you're joking, But there is a profound statement
in there, which is I can just remember my aunt.
She'd be gone all day and she'd go to ten
different places and come back with nothing, and it was
all about just talking to people. There are very few
places where you still get that.

Speaker 12 (01:10:43):
My son is we talked about the planes, so we
go get the die cast model planes and we go
to hobby shops, and the people who work in hobby
shops have not left that building since nineteen eighty three.

Speaker 1 (01:10:56):
They live there.

Speaker 12 (01:10:58):
And the tension to detail and conversation about the craft
and what you're doing like that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
I just love like that.

Speaker 12 (01:11:05):
I still love and I still like buying condoms from
gas stations. Oh okay, because there's no stuff checkout at
a gas station, Like when you get and like condoms,
you have to ask for them most of the time.
Then back there like yeah, give me, we have a
story about that, and then the guy brings them over.

Speaker 1 (01:11:23):
Oh yeah, man.

Speaker 12 (01:11:26):
Like every now and then, when you buy condoms at
a gas station, the cashier, especially if it's a mail cashier,
we'll just give you kind of a like a thumbs up, like.

Speaker 1 (01:11:36):
Good luck. That makes you feel good. We're talking with
Roy Wood Jr. Roy Wood Jr. Is a longtime front
of the show and his newest Specialist's just get the condoms,
get the vix vapor rub.

Speaker 9 (01:11:56):
Rub or the best of the Bob and Tom Show
is on the way. Comedian dust To Nickerson will be
up next stand by. It's the Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 15 (01:12:13):
I want to take the express Way from Ohio to
Eye Away. Then I'm going to ride the road from.

Speaker 1 (01:12:24):
My away Idaho.

Speaker 15 (01:12:27):
I wish they build a high away from my old Hawaii.
Oh I know that you can fly, but I'd rather
drive ev on the OHIOI line Hawaii Away.

Speaker 4 (01:12:49):
Pleasy, ohioi Wahi away.

Speaker 1 (01:12:57):
It's the Ohio one Hawaii Highway.

Speaker 31 (01:13:03):
I'm going to buy me some pineapples when I'm in.

Speaker 15 (01:13:08):
Hawaii and a pound of pieapples when I passed through Idaho.

Speaker 3 (01:13:18):
Man, I'll get an apple pie.

Speaker 1 (01:13:22):
When I am in i Awai.

Speaker 31 (01:13:27):
And a palette up thermometers of the costco in OHI
have some pineapple pie apples, apple pie and pale thermometers
on the ohioiwa Hawaii Highway.

Speaker 3 (01:13:44):
That's the Ohio Hawaii Highway.

Speaker 31 (01:13:50):
Everybody, it's the ohioaiw Owai Highway.

Speaker 1 (01:13:59):
Where they go to the danist and he puts my
gums to sleep.

Speaker 31 (01:14:06):
I can't feel my tongue and teeth and my lips
be like a piece a meat.

Speaker 15 (01:14:13):
When he's firing up as drill bit and I'm drowning
in my own spith.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
I like to sing along with the hints, like the
Ohio one.

Speaker 3 (01:14:28):
Way, He's the Ohio.

Speaker 1 (01:14:45):
That's the end of the song. Glad you're back.

Speaker 9 (01:14:54):
This is the Bob and Tom Show, the best of
the Bob and Tom Show, and this is Christopher and
the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a segment with comedian
Dustin Nickerson.

Speaker 1 (01:15:02):
Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're
all here in our places, Josh Arnold, Ace Cosby, Christy Lee.
This has been Chick McGee speaking. Here's Tom to introduce
our special guests. Would you love saying that what? This
has been Chick McGee speaking. This has been speaking. Yes,
I don't think i'd ever say it seriously. I hope,
I hope I wouldn't. I hope I wouldn't work for

(01:15:23):
somewhere that would make.

Speaker 5 (01:15:24):
Me do that.

Speaker 1 (01:15:27):
Making a regular radio stay by, But I'd lose my
mind in the studio where we're gonna be talking with
comedian Dustin Nickerson. Hey, Dustin good to see you, sir. Hey,
thanks for having me. It's an honor. Appreciate this. Now,
dustin right off the bed. I gotta find out are
you a married guy? Single guy? I'm married.

Speaker 28 (01:15:47):
I'm married with three children. Whoa three old children? I
have teenagers and young three old old children.

Speaker 1 (01:15:58):
How young is the youngest? Ten?

Speaker 28 (01:16:02):
Yeah, it's been pretty vague for eight years. They don't
they just the birthdays just keep happening.

Speaker 1 (01:16:10):
It's crazy. I kind of lose interest, don't you. Yeah,
I do hate that. I know, like what I like?

Speaker 28 (01:16:18):
They're like, when's your daughter's birthday? I'm like the youngest.
I know that one, I know the middle. I don't know,
but I can tell you when pictures and catchers.

Speaker 1 (01:16:26):
Report just a couple of weeks. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 28 (01:16:31):
Well, I'm a Seattle Mariners fan. I'm very excited, but
an exciting season we have ahead of him.

Speaker 1 (01:16:36):
So well, yeah, I just had a birthday one of
my girls. Yeah, you're but two days ago. I can
remember hers easily because it's my quarter birthday. Oh okay, wow,
quarter you you keep practical quarter daughters do? She's January
twenty two, and then I'm April twenty two. So that's

(01:16:57):
but then the rest of them, I got a really
dig deep to remember them. Yeah, that is a that's
that's a lot of a lot of self centered discs there.
I love that. That's in a good way.

Speaker 28 (01:17:07):
I mean that has said it's like, I can't remember
your birthday, but if it's a quarter of mine, yes.

Speaker 1 (01:17:12):
Then I'll remember yours. I love it. That's the same
with me.

Speaker 28 (01:17:15):
I remember my middle kid because it's near mind, because
you know, at the end of the day, it's about me.

Speaker 1 (01:17:20):
Yeah, of course. Yeah, oh yeah, where's where are your
comedy club dates?

Speaker 11 (01:17:23):
Honey?

Speaker 3 (01:17:23):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:17:25):
It's also important to know your own birthday in case
you have to go into the hospital. I just had
a little bit of surgery on Monday, and I had
to give my birthday about fifty times.

Speaker 28 (01:17:33):
Yeah, it's a little bit of birth I just I
just did forty this year for I hit forty and
we did a birthday party, and this is the last
one that I get for a while. I think, because
like birthdays are less significant. I've realized as you get older,
like every when you're young, you get with our kids,
we give them every year one, two, three, four, and
then twenties you get like every five years, like twenty one, cool,

(01:17:55):
twenty five, you get a full brain. Congrats, thirty thirty
five for nobody cares till fifty sixty, seventy, and then
I realized it's seventy.

Speaker 1 (01:18:03):
You get it every year again. Right, Oh, you're still alive.
That's great. But they're fading very quickly. They're fading. We're
speaking with comedian Dustin Nickerson. Your touring around. You're friends
with our good friend, comedian Greg Warren, Greg Warren, Yeah,
he's a regular here.

Speaker 28 (01:18:19):
The the Greg is Greg and I met touring with Bargazzi,
and uh, he's uh yeah, Nate's great.

Speaker 1 (01:18:27):
Nate's great. I don't know if you guys have heard. Yeah,
he's got a bright future. Keep an eye on that guy. Yeah,
coming to it. I remember the Marina near you and
Nate first came in here. He was playing one of
the small clubs. I just remember it was fascinating that
his father is a magician.

Speaker 7 (01:18:43):
Yes, his father's on tour right now. As a matter
of fact, I love it.

Speaker 28 (01:18:47):
Yeah, I told I was talking to Nate recently. I
was like, I don't know where they're going to put
you anymore. The venues are like at a certain point,
are we just going to put you in a field
like like like what stock.

Speaker 1 (01:18:58):
Yeah, like Gettysburg, and.

Speaker 28 (01:19:01):
Like we don't we don't actually build structures that can
hold this amount of people.

Speaker 1 (01:19:05):
So just go over there and orrate for a while.

Speaker 28 (01:19:09):
So yeah, but Greg's a friend, and I'll see him
in a couple of weeks when I'm in Saint Louis.

Speaker 1 (01:19:13):
There. He's great, very funny guy, and uh, you know,
we don't really care for him.

Speaker 28 (01:19:17):
We just I love to tell him that he has
that wrestling isn't as impressive as he thinks it is,
and and it is a very impressive sport, but it
irritates him and I enjoy that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:29):
Ye. Good, good. So I've told him before that even
wrestling at the college level is fake. Yeah, and he
really gets your You're not saying it's not athletic. No, yeah,
they have to know what they're doing so they don't
get hurt. I virtually never failed to remind him that
he has a cauliflower ear. Yes, yeah, yeah, I mean,
how can you miss it? Yeah yeah, yeah, it's very

(01:19:52):
He wears the headphones, so I asked him to take
them off. Yeah, well it looks like he's wearing headphones,
but he's not wearing. It's just idious. It is upsetting
the they wear it so proudly. I have a question
for you. Yeah, is Dustin Nickerson your actual real name? Yes,
yeah it is. But we're your parents fans of Dustin Hoffman,
so yeah, that is.

Speaker 28 (01:20:11):
My mom wanted to name me Sterling, and my dad
cared about my future. My dad wanted didn't want to
create a boy named Sue type situation, if you get
that Johnny Cash reference, but it's might. He pushed for Dustin,
and then my mom left when I was five, So
thank goodness, my dad really, you know, put his foot
down on the name.

Speaker 1 (01:20:31):
So this happens to be a fun story. I'm glad
I bought it. Yeah, yeah, because that's It's just it's
kind of an unusual name, but it didn't. I'd never
heard it until I guess the movie The Graduate, And really,
Dustin wasn't that widespread before Dustin Hoffman. It still isn't.
I can't see anybody in Tom's crowd when he was

(01:20:52):
a teenager being named Dustin or Dusty. I've known up
with Dustin's my whole life. I guess That's why I
think it was one of those things. Sure, Dustin Hoffman
made fame.

Speaker 7 (01:21:01):
I grew up with one two.

Speaker 1 (01:21:02):
But I think Sterling, I mean Sterling Hayden is the.

Speaker 7 (01:21:07):
My niece has a son named I think it's.

Speaker 1 (01:21:12):
When I when naming children, which I've done many any times,
I use the Supreme Court justice rule. Okay, you know
what I'm saying. You want you want? You want a
name that's going to sound like it could be that's
oh I see rapidly changing. Yes, but a Sterling Nickerson
that sounds absolutely like a Supreme Court.

Speaker 28 (01:21:30):
Just yeah, that does have a bit of vibrance to it. Listen,
I'll change if it'll help sell these late shows. I'll
do whatever it takes.

Speaker 1 (01:21:37):
Now, do you mind if I ask the names of
your children? No, not at all.

Speaker 28 (01:21:40):
My My children's names are Joel, Gloria, and Claire. We
wanted names that were unique but not too unique. We
were and we're like, we're not like the like era
of parents, Like my kid's name is missed, you know,
like we wanted like something fairly in the normal range,
but like stood out a little bit, not unlike a

(01:22:02):
Dustin where you're like, I've seen it. I know how
to pronounce it, you know. But at least there's hopefully
there are. My wife's a Melissa, and so that's there
are a million Melissa. So interesting, Glory. Thank you appreciate that.
Gloria was Gloria was more unique when we lived in
Seattle and then we live fifteen minutes from the Mexican border.

(01:22:22):
More glorious down there. More glorias.

Speaker 7 (01:22:25):
Yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
And neck tattoos, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, well let's
say Gloria.

Speaker 20 (01:22:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:22:32):
I'll think.

Speaker 9 (01:22:33):
We're coming back with more of the Bob and Tom Show.
We're going to talk about milkshakes and pedicures coming up
next hour. But next segment, we're going to learn about
Christy's bird feeder. You want to stick around for that.
This is the Bob and Tom Show. This is the

(01:22:53):
best of the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back, Glad
you're here. This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios.
Christy's got a problem with their bird feeder. Let's get
the leader.

Speaker 1 (01:23:02):
Christy is rapidly becoming our bird experts.

Speaker 7 (01:23:04):
Well, I got a new bird feeder yesterday. I heard no, buddy, is.

Speaker 1 (01:23:08):
This someone stole your bird? Feeder.

Speaker 7 (01:23:11):
The raccoon stole my bird feeder.

Speaker 1 (01:23:13):
An accomplished. It's actually us.

Speaker 7 (01:23:15):
We come over every night and message, well, now we
have one with a camera and it's called the bird Buddy.

Speaker 1 (01:23:19):
And I'm telling you have you have you seen these cam.

Speaker 7 (01:23:23):
I received it as a gearge yesterday.

Speaker 1 (01:23:25):
Because obviously there are those eagles that have been getting yeahablicity,
you can have one at your house with a bird
feeder that take unbelievable pictures of birds, like close ups,
and it's it's amazing.

Speaker 7 (01:23:36):
It'll recognize the same bird and you can name it
and it'll alert alert you on the phone and it'll go, Tom,
the Cardinal.

Speaker 1 (01:23:43):
Is back and you can turn on your care I'm
hoping to be Pope someday. But I've been thinking about
my papacy. You know, if you're sitting at home naming birds,
waiting for Larry the blue Jay, Yeah, you need to
get out of the high. And that's coming from someone
who likes to be at his house. Okay, I don't

(01:24:03):
think I'll get that crazy. Yes you will, I hope.

Speaker 14 (01:24:08):
So you have it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:09):
I can't wait. Yeah, we've been telling you. Have you
have you seen the movie with Steve. Is it Steve
who I'm from? The Martin Steve Martin.

Speaker 7 (01:24:17):
You're talking about?

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
Yeah, that's it, Owen Wilson, Jack Black, Steve Martin. And
it's called is it called the Good Year? The Big
the Big Year? Sorry? A big Year is an actual
thing in bird watching I saw at Servis. It's really good.
It's one that you might call it a small movie.
It's not like huge independent is Jack. It's very good.
Jack Black in the movie going, Oh it's a Big Year.

Speaker 6 (01:24:36):
Yeah, not as much. No, No, he's pretty gentle kidding. Yeah,
his dad is Brian Denahey, oh.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
Jack can be really good. Do you see the movie
replays The Undertaker?

Speaker 7 (01:24:48):
Very good, Bernie.

Speaker 1 (01:24:49):
Yeah, that's great. And in any event, let's move forward here. Yeah,
uh this. We could letters on every topic here at
the Bob and Tom program. And here's one. I casually
said the other day that I really wanted to visit Vietnam.
Is this our letter segment? Yeah? Yes, all right, didn't
I just say that? No, you just started. Here's a

(01:25:10):
letter that's not introducing a segment that's that's slapped together
at best. That's that's just plain sloppy sloppy radio sloppy.

Speaker 6 (01:25:21):
Broadcasting, careless, some might even say irresponsible.

Speaker 1 (01:25:24):
Yes, what about kids out there wanting to have their
own radio show, Ladies and gentlemen, not an hotter of
the great sly Stone, A little bit of everyday people.
Music just doesn't get better. It's either mixed well, it
sounds great, the sentiment is as wonderful as anything, and

(01:25:47):
then and then and then it switches to to this.
I can't do it. Yeah, ladies, you would truck that
at home. Yeah, he was a genius of a slice. Stone. Sadly,
if you have not heard, mister Stone has passed away
at the age of eighty two. Me your Steward, that's
his real name. Yes, he's had a.

Speaker 7 (01:26:09):
Child with BB King's daughter.

Speaker 1 (01:26:10):
I had no idea he flourished in the late sixties,
early seven. Phoebe King? Oh really? Byby and Phoebe Well,
Phoebe's daughter Phoebe. Yes, is it possible for me to
see Bbe's Bebe? I don't know. But have you seen
pictures of Phoebe King? I have not. Bbe's Bbe's daughter, Phoebe?
What's your handle on CBB? Phoebe c B and she

(01:26:34):
released the CD Phoebe and the Bright. I just changed
the channel and I live here. This is giving the
he b gb. Oh are we doing our letter segment
dear show, I haven't. I was going to start with okay, okay,
I'll read mine after you read young letter. I had
mentioned there's a couple of places I want to visit.
Portugal is one of them. Yeah, go down and avoid

(01:26:56):
the roast and they take a month off. Yeah that's
what you said, go fishing. You're ready to play your
song in a second. When I asked, God, I want
you to act like we've never talked about it. I
don't want to write we didn't talk about it, but
we did. We just talked about it. Stop medicating. I

(01:27:18):
love medication.

Speaker 31 (01:27:19):
The uh.

Speaker 1 (01:27:21):
This is from a guy who is currently living in Saigon.
What does he have to say about it? He loves
it there, he goes, Please come visit. Most Americans think
of Vietnam just as a war, not a country. The
truth is Vietnam is a great place of rich history
beyond the war, a very modern country now with an
expanding economy and a bright future. The local people are

(01:27:41):
very happy to have American tourists, So please come visit.
You guys could do the show. You'd start in the
late afternoon. Ps, it's a long plane ride. Yeah, and
he said a video made from his apartment. We can
see the Saigon skyline. What to get on this and
get this posted. Thanks for the letter, We really appreciate it.

(01:28:02):
From wherever you are now, our official beginning of the
letter segment will begin now Hello show. Yeah, people are
picking up on this. I saw a blimp over the weekend.
Yeah time, okay, this would say? This is that's from Allan?
Where is he? He says, it's alt because the good

(01:28:26):
the Goodyear blimp is doing a whole bunch of ceremonial
trips because it's the one anniversary. Correct. I can't think
of a next to take waiting for Larry the blue
Jay to stop by and my bird feeder talk to me.
I can't think of a solder tub topic. So let's
let's say here's the blimp today. Let's say you're in
a car with somebody else, which I know was rare

(01:28:46):
for you because you like to be by yourself. If
you're in the car with somebody else, you're driving down
the street and you look up and see the blimp,
you say, anything.

Speaker 6 (01:28:53):
No, you don't go, oh, cool, there's a blimp. No,
at the very least where you go, oh there's the blimp.

Speaker 1 (01:29:00):
It out, I think, oh, there's a blim I don't
go this is exciting, right, I don't do that like
you would. I do because because you're insane.

Speaker 29 (01:29:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:29:12):
Yeah, love of life, that's what you had this morning.
I drove in and went, oh my god, look at
the moon. That was incredible.

Speaker 3 (01:29:18):
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:29:18):
When's it's not full? It's not full tonight's yeah, is
it waxing? If I had seen if I had seen
the blimp pass before the moon, I would have bought
a lottery ticket. That's good luck. I have a moon
indicator on my phone. Yeah, there side and take a
picture of ninety percent. I can't do boss, leave your father.

Speaker 6 (01:29:42):
Okay, here's here's it, says dear Philistines and tom oh whoa, whoa,
what do you know?

Speaker 1 (01:29:48):
Tom uh?

Speaker 6 (01:29:49):
We were talked about things you should know by the
age of eighteen, things you should be able to do
this time, knowledge you should have. They included changing attire
and stuff like that. Well, this man, Dave from Ampleton, says,
My twenty year old daughter texted me that her car
was out of blinker fluid.

Speaker 1 (01:30:11):
Well her turn single, her turn signal rather was burned out.
I love it, and doesn't it when that happens, it
just stays on solid?

Speaker 19 (01:30:19):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:30:19):
Is that how it will? And the older cars? Yeah, hopefully.
Hey if you're if you're twenty and you've never had
to deal with it. But I think the notion of
this is it sounds like something God moved. Absolutely, the
notion of this article was chick, you weren't here for this,
there are. It started with this woman named Catherine Johnson

(01:30:44):
Martin Coe or Martin Coo. I don't know how she
pronounces her name. I think it was something like twelve
skills everyone should know, and then she got this huge response.
But highlights would include a driving a car and a boat,
including a manual transmission. Right there, you've eliminated a lot
of people. I like this one. Dancing decently enough to
be able to participate at a wedding. I'm probably not

(01:31:06):
going to be there.

Speaker 6 (01:31:07):
A lot of these were straight out of how to
win friends and influence people. They were ancient. How to
darn a sock? Yeah, thank you know, that was absolutely
on there.

Speaker 7 (01:31:24):
I call Amazon and ordered news.

Speaker 1 (01:31:25):
Socks On't that nice that you have new sock money
natural fibers too.

Speaker 3 (01:31:33):
I bet.

Speaker 1 (01:31:35):
Ordering from the menu with confidence tipping appropriately. You don't
do that. You never order from the Occasionally I often
just ask you burdened a server with your conversation. I
also we learned yesterday, Hey, we're going to be your
favorite table? What do you recommend? Tattoo stick? I always

(01:31:57):
get my food first, that it's the best at the table.
Anybody ever tell you you look like Jackie? Try? I
tried when I when I do say that to people,
I try to use dated references so they don't know.
This is an absolutely true story, familiar. I never will

(01:32:18):
stop telling it. We were at launch the server, a
woman comes over and Tom announces to the table seventeen
of us. At least excuse me. He probably said something
like sweetie or something, because that's how he talks to women.
Has anyone ever told you you look like NASCAR driver
Jimmy Spencer? But the resemblance was unbelievable. I'm not arguing

(01:32:46):
the point. It was the likeness was uncanny. I mean,
she could have been thought if she'd said that's I
swear The next week she she had quit and no
one's seen that was he was with me at lunch one.
He was with me at lunch time. Was with me

(01:33:06):
at lunch one time. He said to the waitress, you
know you have very unusual looks. I know he met exotic.
I've heard him do it. He's embarrassing.

Speaker 9 (01:33:19):
Coming up next, Christy is pissed and not about her
bird feeder. You'll get the details coming up next. This
is the Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 1 (01:33:45):
About Josh Chick McGhee. Two funny guys have a few
drinks and watch TV. Josh Chick Beeg radio star. Catch
them every morning, turn them on in you'll call yeah,

(01:34:06):
sucking on hot dog, mustering on about it. You got
the movie tickets? Josh says, he's got it. She can
say ahead, Josh, what if we ever have a fight?
Josh says, that will be an awkward morning? All right?
Oh yeah, that promance lives on long after the thrill
of Bob and Time. I'm gone, Oh yeah, that promance

(01:34:30):
lives on ship drinks on the porch. Well, Josh moses
new lawn. All right, rock on.

Speaker 9 (01:34:40):
Ow more of the Bob and Tom Show. Now, this
is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom Studios. Boy,
Christy is pissed about something. Let's get the detail. I've
got a technical question for you, ladies. Christy Lee in
a matter of moments. This is a topic you have
brought up before. Okay, I need a little I need
need a little bit of clarity on it. I don't
want to wait for miss Hooker to get here. And

(01:35:00):
she is doing something that she always does for us,
which is make delicious food. And she has created apparently
some dip in honor of the Super Bowl. We get,
we get to try, so I certainly am looking forward
to that.

Speaker 22 (01:35:15):
Tom.

Speaker 6 (01:35:15):
I just learned something, a disparity between men and women
in a way that I was told yesterday and.

Speaker 1 (01:35:22):
I wanted to Yes, guys have to be wasting. Yeah, Christy,
did you know that if you and I went to
go get a pedicure today, they would charge me a
little more than you.

Speaker 23 (01:35:37):
I did not.

Speaker 6 (01:35:37):
I was told that they charge more for men because
they apt to do it, because we don't get them
done as often. Yeah, they're probably a little more less,
they're probably more unpleasant.

Speaker 1 (01:35:56):
Oh, it's almost hazard pay now. Let me ask you.
This is is a haircut obviously for women it's it's
way more and everything else. I'll say it, Okay, oh
you got a haircut today, and she looks at me like,
I no that that The word haircut is not used.
It's get my mom My mom would always I got

(01:36:16):
my hair done. But they do. They do more than
just I say I got my haircut. Yeah. I think
Beyonce Queen Bee says I got my hair did I believe?

Speaker 7 (01:36:25):
Ah, well she got to blow out?

Speaker 1 (01:36:27):
What do you?

Speaker 32 (01:36:28):
I mean, what does she?

Speaker 1 (01:36:29):
Yeah? That's but there's lots of different things that the
lady the ladies do. But I mean there's not the
disparity and price.

Speaker 6 (01:36:35):
Oh I'm not complaining a lot because women obviously have
to spend a ton more money on stuff like that
than guys do.

Speaker 22 (01:36:42):
But maybe like back in the day when the woman
went to go buy a car, they can take advantage
of them.

Speaker 7 (01:36:50):
If we're going to talk about this subject.

Speaker 1 (01:36:54):
That's interesting though.

Speaker 7 (01:36:55):
There are some companies that to this day will not
come out and give you an estimate of your husband
isn't home. And I would like to say this, I would.

Speaker 1 (01:37:03):
Look that is bull Christy, that's insane.

Speaker 7 (01:37:07):
And I've had this happen three times in the last
two weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:37:12):
Then I might was it because they don't want to
have to explain it to you three times? Oh well,
it's the.

Speaker 7 (01:37:18):
Most sexist, antiquated, that is. I can't I can't believe they.

Speaker 1 (01:37:25):
Do it, Christie, I can't believe that. I would almost
go to see that's not company policy.

Speaker 9 (01:37:29):
It is.

Speaker 7 (01:37:30):
I've asked and I have said to that. I said
to the lady the other day, I go, I am
beyond pissed right now because I can make decisions on
my own.

Speaker 1 (01:37:40):
And did she go, this is why we want to
talk to the men women.

Speaker 7 (01:37:45):
Yeah, boy, no, it's I am not I can names
right now. What if you're single woman, if you're a
well they ask you that.

Speaker 1 (01:37:54):
You're not allowed to get the service.

Speaker 7 (01:37:56):
Dup, Who's who's on the deed to your home? That's
what he asked me.

Speaker 1 (01:38:01):
Well, that might they may need to know that. Why
first national business when women really should be owning homes.
Oh my god, yes, okay, not putting your names on
things talking.

Speaker 7 (01:38:13):
About Oh I was so mad.

Speaker 1 (01:38:16):
Okay, No, we had an interesting topic I want to
return to in just a few minutes. Happened to our
fun show. Sorry, I'm sorry. Happened. We were talking about
the the A v N Awards. This is the Adult
Video News so this is this is the the Organized
Pornography Awards, Adult Cinema if you will. Sure, and do

(01:38:40):
they still call it adult? It's adult video, I guess
because it's digital and branding. Yeah, they're not going to change.
Do they do I mean, I'm I've never watched them
or whatever? Do they do like classic like? Do they
go you know, do they have like the Thalberg like
for the finest career achievement? They do? Yes? Yeah, I

(01:39:03):
wonder who won this year, but they do. Yeah. Really.

Speaker 15 (01:39:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:39:08):
There's a Hall of Fame. There's a Porno Hall of Fame.

Speaker 6 (01:39:10):
I don't know if there's a breaking border place that
you can go, but there is an avan Hall of Fame.

Speaker 22 (01:39:15):
Yeah, oh wow, you gotta have Vanessa del Rio in there.

Speaker 1 (01:39:19):
She's probably she was probably a first ballance. I bet
it's a lot more expensive to go if you want
to go on the back door at the there there
are hundreds of people in the Avian Hall of Fame.
I mean Hartley in there. She must be well, let's see,
I'm sure it is you. Hartley actually does good work

(01:39:40):
for Couplesina Hardley is in wow, so we'll have to
wait for Miss Hooker before we can he there, are
you give a song? Pat you'll give me the look?
Oh no, I was Josh's porn. Uh not not addiction,
but I used to be for it. Yeah, I use
in the past. So you get to the most part.
But and I was asking you if if you let me,

(01:40:04):
I guess this might be the proper word. Is the
the erotic cinema of that era a better trigger for
you than contemporary erotica? If you will, I will always.

Speaker 6 (01:40:15):
Have an affinity for the stars, the porn stars that
I watched during my formative years.

Speaker 1 (01:40:22):
I see, and you mentioned that I've always wondered. I
know that I maybe some psychiatrist out there has experienced this,
in which one of their clients or patients has to
have their porno from a certain era and it has
to be on a vc R. And you were saying
that a certain sound you associated with us. Oh oh

(01:40:44):
oh yeah, Okay, here we go get buttered up. But
it's a coming. The sound, the sound of the motive
that was the era when you discovered online porno, you
had to well, that's what it was. Yeah, yeah, that's
it was new and I was of the age. When
did the DVDs of porn get phased out? And I

(01:41:10):
think they followed pretty much the Yeah, the trend of
streaming and anything got earlier to any type of any genre.
I got earlier than any other. Will that go away?
Now that half the states in America have restrictions on
the age, yeah they have. I forget how it works.

Speaker 7 (01:41:28):
Any to over eighteen?

Speaker 6 (01:41:30):
You always had two at the physical physical stores?

Speaker 1 (01:41:33):
Oh you do? Yeah? Yeah, fourteen year old couldn't go
in and rent a porn and what was the name
of the story I used to go do? The Spanky's
was one of them, and Award Video was the Spanky's
had like mainstream movies as well, right or no? These
were both exclusively porn. Yeah, I did not know that. Now,
if you go to those used CD and DVD stores,

(01:41:56):
do they typically have an erotic section? If you will? Oh,
I have seen somewhere they do. Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:42:03):
Yeah, even stores like remember Fries, There were only a
few kind of around the country, but they would have
an adult section. I never told you guys this story,
I don't think, but I know and Pat this could
lead into your song is one night I was at
before the open mic at the Saint Louis Funny Bone.
The porn well, Spanky's was pretty close to the Funny Bone,

(01:42:23):
and so I went there first and I was renting
some movies and there were two guys behind the counter
and they were having a conversation and the one guy goes, yeah,
I'm out of here in about an hour. And the
guy goes, oh, what are you up to tonight? And
he goes, me and my girlfriend are going to the
Saint Louis Funny Bone to watch some comedy, and I go.

Speaker 1 (01:42:42):
I'll see you there. Because I was on stage here,
I know that guy. Yeah, it was kind of a bummer.

Speaker 7 (01:42:50):
Did he feel uncomfortable knowing he was in the audience?

Speaker 1 (01:42:53):
No? I just went whatever, okay, Now Patrick got your
guitar out. Yeah, that was a long time ago. That
was That was back in ninety seven, way before Josh
good Stream. You'd have to go to Spanky's for a
dirty tape or magazine.

Speaker 30 (01:43:15):
Down at the porn shop and he daft to drive
oh to a nasty rundown building off sixty five.

Speaker 1 (01:43:32):
Down at the porn shop, the creepy clerky Smile the
corn shop. Where's the big booty? Ell the porn shop?
His mom has many conserve wrnshop when she makes his returns.
Down at the corn shopping pornshop here looking around, please,

(01:43:53):
Josh can't believe? Is this videos of some boobies, every color,
every sune done at the porn shop. Whip back in
su where he took his pens off in the video boom.

(01:44:20):
We had guests over the porn shop. It ain't so
discreet at the porn shop. You but your's beaten. The
meat down at the porshop just won't leave the house.
Porn shop doesn't need a hooker spouse. Down at the
porn shop. Porshop? Thank you, Grandma? What happens?

Speaker 6 (01:44:43):
I now, I just go There are a way other
There are so many other things I could be I
want to do as opposed to.

Speaker 7 (01:44:49):
Just yeah, Desira, Josh, Yeah, And I think you don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:44:53):
My time is limited on this earth. I'm gonna try
to get some things done. I know that we have
the Academy Awards coming up, and this Pornography Award show
the a v NS. You know they getting up there
and thanking their parents.

Speaker 6 (01:45:09):
And oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's an industry, Tom
it is, and it's not as tab who is you?

Speaker 1 (01:45:15):
It has to be fairly awesome.

Speaker 7 (01:45:16):
You make it to be.

Speaker 1 (01:45:17):
It's a multiple billion dollar business. Yeah, saying the awards ceremony,
I'm just saying a guy up there in the tuxs going,
I just want to thank everybody who helped me out
with all hands on dick are tribute to Pt. Sixty
nine and fellas, thank you very much. I mean, come on,

(01:45:37):
it's embarrassing to you. It's not the did they have it?

Speaker 22 (01:45:40):
I watch it because of the categories I find very humors.

Speaker 6 (01:45:45):
See this is one of the cases where ACE actually
is more school than the awards themselves, because you've seen
multiple So.

Speaker 1 (01:45:51):
They do they do the preciow? Do they like them
walking on the pink carpet? They've got who's the guy
who's always on the red carpet? They don't have Melissa Rivers? Yeah,
Melissa Rivers on the pink carpet? Will they tell you
who are you wearing? Yeah? Also it is very much like,
well I guess that that thing. Who aren't you wearing?

(01:46:11):
Or who are you almost wearing? Yes? Yeah? Yeah, Well
coming up, I have a question that kind of revolves
around this, but we'll get back to that in a
few minutes. We go back to the Siolac insurance news
desk with Christy Lee, who knew but apparently well endowed
men struggle with self esteem issues.

Speaker 7 (01:46:29):
Some say that most dream of having a large male member, guys,
but if you're in the group of the very well endowed,
having a large penis could be more of a curse.
Some well endowed men have shared their penis related relationship
woes onto Reddit, with users often offering their antidotes like
three relationships I have had and to do at least

(01:46:51):
in part because my male member was too long. That
is a shame and saddest was when the woman I
married said she enjoyed sex, then about two months into
the marriage, admitted I was way too big and sex
constantly hurt her.

Speaker 1 (01:47:06):
That's all that you want to be sexually compatible?

Speaker 5 (01:47:09):
Right?

Speaker 7 (01:47:09):
Other sighted self esteem issues saying women are just shallow
as men, and we'll talk to your penis without bothering
to make eye contact. What, Yeah, I don't believe that
I don't understand, and that they felt objectified by potential partners.

Speaker 1 (01:47:24):
That's really interesting, guys. That guys have that they feel
that way. Only downside I've always found was skinny dipping.
Oh that's what gets yeah yeah, like a rudder an
anchor mistaken for an eel. Some of those blurry nesty
photos are actually tom yeah yeah yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:47:46):
Other issues included needing to buy a larger pant size
for the lower end.

Speaker 1 (01:47:50):
Seam and then stretching out the top of your sock.

Speaker 7 (01:47:55):
And hot days being a problem.

Speaker 1 (01:47:57):
Oh yeah, oh these hot days sure are night Yeah.
Howbout if there's a judge out there who Back in
the day when divorces had to be contested, some woman
came in and said, you're honor, I have to leave
him because his male member is too large. Got to

(01:48:17):
mean when you go home and tell the wife and
I gonna leave. What happened today? Lady walked in, My
dad said, well they were. He was in the army.

Speaker 22 (01:48:27):
Uh what.

Speaker 6 (01:48:27):
The drill sergeant was going around checking everybody's uh out uniforms,
making sure they were all up to snuff and everything,
and you could see one guy bulge. He was so
well in doubt, and the drill sergeant for minutes just
berated him for having too big.

Speaker 1 (01:48:42):
A like he could control that right right, what are
you supposed to do? That's how John Holmes was discovered
in the army. Yeah, wow, yeah, I remember reading that. Uh,
there was, there's an interesting book about it. He's the
He's the guy they based.

Speaker 3 (01:49:02):
Laro.

Speaker 1 (01:49:03):
Now that you're back here, before we get to the
appetizer here, I have a technical question for you, and
this may reflect more on me than on you. Guys.
We were looking at the photographs of ms. Cox what's
her name again, Kendra Cox, and both Chick and I went,
those boobs are fake. You insist that they're real. Now,

(01:49:24):
neither of you ladies would be considered flat chested. However,
I know you know women who might be. Do flat
chested women? The analogy would be two bald guys like
where I always go? That's a two pay. Do flat
chested women always go? Those boobs are fake? In other words,
do they develop.

Speaker 7 (01:49:43):
A I don't know.

Speaker 3 (01:49:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 32 (01:49:45):
I guess yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:49:46):
I don't care.

Speaker 26 (01:49:47):
It's only when you guys say it that I'm going
to call you out and go, no, you're wrong.

Speaker 6 (01:49:51):
That's a fair question, Tom. But I don't think women. No,
I think women are way better at knowing if they're
real or fake.

Speaker 7 (01:49:57):
Yeah, And I think women who are flat chested, if
they want them, they would get them, and they don't care.

Speaker 1 (01:50:01):
Yeah, yeah, they're not as but yeah, for example, I
watched the commercial for the Super on the Super Bowl
with Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. Yes, which is and
it's really well done. I'm not going to spoil it.
I thought it was great. I'm a fan. Meg looks great,
But I did. I thought that the two pey that
mister Crystal was worrying was really out of thee.

Speaker 33 (01:50:22):
Because you lack hair, the first thing that your eye
is drawn to.

Speaker 1 (01:50:25):
Exactly what Tom's that's my question.

Speaker 6 (01:50:27):
What you're not taking to you an account? Is not
all bald guys care? Are that worried about it? They're not,
They're not as fun. Well, I saw a still of
Billy Crystal from that commercial. I would never have guessed.

Speaker 1 (01:50:37):
I wouldn't have either either. I thought at first it
was a dead muskrat on.

Speaker 26 (01:50:41):
The but but you know what, whenever when I will
always appreciate a beautiful chest.

Speaker 33 (01:50:47):
If I'm just like, man, that's your good job. Those
are great knockers.

Speaker 26 (01:50:52):
And yeah, but I mean I guess, but yeah, I'm
always but I don't, but I don't but I don't
want them well and.

Speaker 1 (01:50:59):
You ladies both perfectly acceptable in that realm let me
die uncomfortable moment that I'm enjoying. Uh. Now, coming up,
we have this that this is leading to this other
story we have and I had never heard of this.
Can just give me the.

Speaker 7 (01:51:18):
Readbl vampire breast lift.

Speaker 1 (01:51:21):
There is a new thing out there, I guess, the
vampire breastlift, and it's approved by whatever, and it's it's
an answer way to enhance your own enhanced boobs. And
it's not like an exercise or fake thing on the internet.
One huge boob. Okay, So we'll find count them, we'll
find out what that is all about.

Speaker 9 (01:51:40):
You can just not care for it if you don't
have to comment, but it's gonna be We're coming right back,
So stand by. We're gonna learn about milkshakes, the protector,
and a summer penis whatever that is. It's coming up
next on The Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back more

(01:52:03):
of the Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher and
the Bob and Tom Studios. We got a summer penis.
Is that some kind of disease or something milkshakes and
the protector coming up in this segments going through some
of our male.

Speaker 1 (01:52:16):
What is it that must be because a milkshake don't
shake like that? Or what what is it?

Speaker 2 (01:52:21):
Hmm?

Speaker 33 (01:52:22):
What am I trying to shake? Brings all the boys?

Speaker 1 (01:52:26):
The boys better than yours? That damn right?

Speaker 7 (01:52:31):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (01:52:32):
Gets back to my American males fascination all of a
sudden with the beehind, it went from boobs to behind
because of the Kardashians. Right, it doesn't build milkshake sort of,
that's what I thought.

Speaker 33 (01:52:45):
Milkshake Just that's her hips and she's shaking.

Speaker 1 (01:52:48):
Around saying the presence of milk, right, I know, I don't.
I get booby. I get bought out of milkshake as well.

Speaker 26 (01:52:56):
But I get it obviously it's the source. Yes, Why
wouldn't it be your breasts?

Speaker 1 (01:53:04):
I don't know. Would you drink a milkshake made of
mother's milk, human mother's.

Speaker 33 (01:53:08):
Milk, any human mother?

Speaker 1 (01:53:11):
I don't think so. Did you ever did you ever
taste any of the milk that was available? And you
were many many many children you've had, well, when you.

Speaker 26 (01:53:23):
When you reheat breast milk, if you've used a pump,
but you do usually put a little bit on and
then lick it off.

Speaker 33 (01:53:30):
Probably, And Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:53:32):
An episode of Friends, one character describes it as tasting
like cantalope.

Speaker 1 (01:53:36):
Would you say that's true?

Speaker 32 (01:53:37):
I don't think it's that sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:53:39):
No, yeah, I've never I've never known friends to lie
to me. You know what is sweet? Though?

Speaker 32 (01:53:44):
Josh so creepy?

Speaker 1 (01:53:52):
Did I did I give you the story about the
new award in the NFL? Or did I forget to
give that to you? No? I read it the here's
the thing I I talked with the Chick McGee board. Yeah,
and they were unanimous at the meeting. They said, don't

(01:54:12):
do this story. Unanimous. I thought you'd like that story.
It's a cash grab for an advertisement. But go ahead.
You think why, I don't understand. Well, what is it?

Speaker 11 (01:54:23):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:54:24):
Sponsored by some you know, like there's m VP, there's
Rookie of the Year, Defensive Rookie of the Year. Now
there's what is it, Offensive Protector? Yeah? The name I admit,
the name.

Speaker 7 (01:54:35):
Of Offensive Protector.

Speaker 1 (01:54:37):
Yeah, brought to you by Armor all whatever. No, I
made up. It's the headline is NFL introducing Protector of
the Year Award for the.

Speaker 7 (01:54:48):
O line, so so you're protecting your quarterback.

Speaker 1 (01:54:52):
So it was in other words, which which lineman was
great at protecting the quarterback? And all right, I can
seem selling it to say the trojan people right there.
See you you're thinking advertisers too. You gotta make some money.
Come on, and no one calls it anything about the NFL.
But yeah, I think our friend just Saturday probably would

(01:55:15):
have won that had they had that back in the day.
Oh yeah, Protector of the Year.

Speaker 33 (01:55:20):
You're kidding me, Well, it's something better than that. I
don't like Protector of the Year.

Speaker 1 (01:55:25):
Yeah, Like in college, there's the Outlander trow and I
don't know who's named after, but it's the offensive lineman
after in the year. Sounds like something you would give
to a secret service. Yeah, yeah, the Betaneric Award, I
think his linebacker. Yeah, the name they should name it
after somebody they should who was history's best. I think
people would say John Hannah from the Factorates or something

(01:55:48):
does have a nice ring. Yet all right, we fixed it,
or to maybe the pr dude that protects some guy
from getting the terrible publicity he deserves for some horrible
thing that he did. Kind of a spin doctor. Oh
you say attack. I say it was a former love interest. Okay,
she consented, She consented to be punching her on the face.

(01:56:10):
That's right, she wanted to. She likes it. No, have
you ever heard anything stupider than somebody saying and the
response is she liked it? Rough? Oh boy, you just
want to Is that right? Okay? Talking to you? You
should be fun to be Shody shut down an escalator.
Maybe the cop that arrested me. Oh uh yeah, it'd be.

(01:56:31):
That's a new a war. I think it's kind of fun. Sorry,
we'll move on.

Speaker 7 (01:56:35):
Health experts one that a phenomenon called summer penis is
back in the news. You guys, it could be Is
this like summer teeth that could worsen erectile dysfunction symptoms?
But this has been debunked over Donald Grant told The
Daily Mail that hotter temperatures can make it more difficult
for men to get or keep an erection for multiple reasons,

(01:56:56):
including dehydration, fatigue, and poor sleep. He added at rising
temperatures tends to lead to an increase an alcohol consumption,
which can also have an extremely negative impact on EED symptoms.

Speaker 33 (01:57:09):
It's not called sum yeah, whiskey. Yeah, I've never heard
of summer penis.

Speaker 7 (01:57:16):
Well, it's a phenomenon, Jess of men appearing to grow
in the summer penis.

Speaker 33 (01:57:23):
I thought it was like cuffing, like the cuffing season.
I thought, like, there's a penis season, like there's more
penis to be had.

Speaker 1 (01:57:29):
And I think it's just I think it's in the
winter with things. You're cold. You know, you know what
cuffing season is. Let's just get this over with, Okay,
is that, Frank? It is smer penis. Yeah, gets picking
strong in the sun and heat. Oh, it has has

(01:57:53):
more girth, ladies, please give it down. Has more girth,
something about the warmth and expands the meat. It was
nice and long. I had a speedo on, took my
girlfriends and two lovers and a summer penis dragon in

(01:58:13):
the south. I'm not done yet. A winter penis was
a sad sight. Behind that fly, this is where under
the pubic hair. Oh, he goes to die. My girlfriend
longs for those August nights when he's at his angriest

(01:58:35):
and meanest. Come back, come back, my summer penis, My
summer penis. Thank you, ladies, Frank, thank you, you're there
that night, you're beautiful, you're on the left side. Yeah,

(01:58:57):
so it's it's a heat related but they're saying that
you're outside more, you're gonna get drunk, and you're not
going to be able to function. You're not going to
be able to function. I don't blame you for they're
not going to be able to.

Speaker 7 (01:59:12):
I the really funny Frank Sinatra alive from like the seventies,
I don't know. He was doing some show and he goes, yeah,
I'm off the whiskey. I'm off the hard stuff. He goes,
it's muton cade. For me, it's some kind of wine
that I remember my mom having, And I was like,
mutan Cad. I haven't heard that in one hundred years,
and it was just so funny to hear today. I'm

(01:59:32):
off the hard stuff. Yeah, it's muton card. It's really fun.

Speaker 1 (01:59:36):
Think of the andy. Stop drinking the jacket. It was
all red wine.

Speaker 3 (01:59:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 33 (01:59:40):
I remember Lambrusco.

Speaker 1 (01:59:42):
I was a kid that was that.

Speaker 24 (01:59:43):
Is that this?

Speaker 7 (01:59:44):
Uh sweet?

Speaker 1 (01:59:45):
So nice? On ice was on ice? Yeah, so nice.
We were a Boons farm family. Strawberry strawberry I shoplifted.
It was three dollars time. Is just it was the
thrill in his case. I don't think which we've covered everything?

(02:00:06):
Is that correct?

Speaker 7 (02:00:07):
That is not correct, Tom, but thank you. A man
has been diagnosed with so called parrot chlamydia after accidentally
inhaling chicken droppings.

Speaker 1 (02:00:17):
Inhaling chicken dropping.

Speaker 7 (02:00:19):
According to a report in BMC Infectious.

Speaker 1 (02:00:22):
Diseases, Yeah, I like to huff in the coupe.

Speaker 7 (02:00:24):
The twenty six year old was hospitalized in China, I
see with a lingering cough and persistent high fever.

Speaker 1 (02:00:32):
An antibiotic people in America, don't get me.

Speaker 7 (02:00:35):
Test showed he had synachosis or parrot fever caused by
chlamydia Siaki bacteria.

Speaker 1 (02:00:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:00:43):
Physicians reported the man had mistakenly inhaled chicken manure. Now, okay,
I've done a lot of crazy things in my day,
but how do you mistakenly inhale chicken manure.

Speaker 1 (02:00:53):
I'm assuming drinking was involved, wife like cocaine. Yeah. Oh,
And for those of you.

Speaker 7 (02:00:59):
Who are going to this, chlamydia is not the same
as the sexually transmitted chlamydia still, but they are part
of the same bacteria.

Speaker 33 (02:01:07):
Chlamydia is chlamydia is.

Speaker 1 (02:01:10):
Aren't men all carriers isn't that right? And it doesn't
affect us, that's HPV oh so, but it causes it
causes forgetfulness. And man, you could actually really clearly see
my HPV. I have h D p V Oh yeah, yeah?

Speaker 33 (02:01:27):
Is that more expensive?

Speaker 1 (02:01:28):
It's high definition? Mine's crazy, shaky and wild. It's uh no,
hang them on, be patient, everybody, everybody right, getting want
to guess what it is? Is it h p DT
you'll see you? What? Do I have? A DTS? You have?

Speaker 7 (02:01:49):
Autition? Deficits A A D H D.

Speaker 19 (02:01:52):
T V p V.

Speaker 1 (02:01:53):
Boy, there's so many letters. I can't do my own joke.
I'm confused. So the parrots have the parrots have chlamydia?
What's it called?

Speaker 7 (02:02:02):
Fever?

Speaker 1 (02:02:02):
Bird fever? You got you got to bookt down? Hey, Josh,
is this one of your show choir songs? Yes? Yes,
you guys boogie? Did you do a dance to it?
Do you have the hand at least the hand movements?
I don't. I can try. Would you have favoris with that? Please? Well?

(02:02:25):
Hang on a second. It's kind kind of like a
kind of like a Y M C A thing.

Speaker 33 (02:02:33):
They were singing.

Speaker 1 (02:02:35):
They were singing while they were moving.

Speaker 7 (02:02:37):
Did you ever do the y M c A around
when you said going around?

Speaker 1 (02:02:41):
I remember, but probably an I never did y M
c A. No their salt.

Speaker 33 (02:02:47):
I enjoy being a girl, is what I did at
state contest.

Speaker 1 (02:02:50):
Yeah, I enjoy that I did that for talent. Okay, Josh,
since you're the one that loves grammar and you want
to raising semi colon's, I already used them. Spell the
word chlamydia for me. Uh kay, No, I know, but
I know what he wanted to send me, and I

(02:03:13):
l W c H l.

Speaker 7 (02:03:18):
H L is correct.

Speaker 1 (02:03:20):
A silent g M y d I A very good
Chlamydia also could be a girl's first name, lad Chlamydia.
Doesn't it sound like a name?

Speaker 12 (02:03:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:03:37):
It does.

Speaker 7 (02:03:37):
That's why I like the name Lydia. But I didn't
want to name my daughter Lydia because I knew everybody
would rhyme up with chlamydia.

Speaker 1 (02:03:44):
Lydia the encyclopadia, and what happened she got it anywhere.

Speaker 26 (02:03:49):
I wanted to name my daughter Naomi for the longest time,
and then I recently learned that Naomi backwards is I
moan I could have potentially named my daughter.

Speaker 33 (02:03:59):
I'mone hooker that would have Yeah, that would have been bad.

Speaker 9 (02:04:02):
You get paid more, She's really Yeah. We've got some
more stuff coming up for you on The Bob and
Tom Show this morning. Yachts for Tots and comedian Audrey
Stewart coming up, plus Grant's music and things to Learn
by the time You're eighteen, that's next here on the
Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is the best

(02:04:30):
of the Bob and Tom Show. Glad you're here. This
is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. How about
the segment about Grant's music talking about us Grant, Well,
let's find out and things to learn by the time
You're eighteen.

Speaker 1 (02:04:46):
We got to catch up with a couple of things
here and now we wish to have your birthday to
Grant you what is he five or six?

Speaker 7 (02:04:50):
He turned five today.

Speaker 1 (02:04:52):
He wants to grow up to be a djor Grant
wants more? Well, no, but he I asked. I asked
Christy to correspond with Grant's mom because Shallery, he he
wants to be a DJ because he likes our show.
And I was kind of curious what kind of music
he was into. And you got the answer.

Speaker 7 (02:05:08):
I do have the answer, she said, anything from Here
Come the Mummies, but especially wiener Man is his absolute favorite.
And if we're talking like I guess other music. He's
an old soul, loves Iron Man and Lowrider rights.

Speaker 1 (02:05:30):
Yeah, what about Cisco Kids? Cisco Kids.

Speaker 3 (02:05:35):
Was a friend of mine.

Speaker 1 (02:05:39):
How about the song is good? How about the one?
I know you're not a big fan, but I am.
Eric Burdon, Spill the wine, Spill the wine. I love
that love. I love that girl because that song starts
out with my favorite I was walking?

Speaker 6 (02:05:52):
Yeah, didn't war also do? Why can't We Be Friends? Yeah,
that's a good one. Those are all great, So we got.

Speaker 1 (02:05:58):
To turn this little bit born.

Speaker 7 (02:06:00):
Why can't We Be Friends? Sounds nothing like Lowrider.

Speaker 1 (02:06:03):
I wonder if he likes Hello Mata, Hello Fada. It's
probably he probably consider you know, anybody he loves. He
must be a victim of reincarnation. If he likes hello, Hello, father,
can you He's probably too young for that one, but
he will like Papa uh mal Mau by the The Vingtons.
What five year old boy wouldn't love that? That's a
great song. What can we writer back saying? Play Papa

(02:06:26):
U Ma Mao for him? It's by the rivingtons. Well,
are we gonna play the song he wants? I feel
like a killed joy. But you know there are many
other people listening other than Greece.

Speaker 10 (02:06:36):
You know that.

Speaker 1 (02:06:36):
Well, not only that, but the kid requested something in
time because well how about this? Yeah, he's five years old.
Hell does he know you like? No, he doesn't cut
my dankly off put it. Well, well, let's let's move
forward and then we'll get we'll get back to the
wiener man with my own quack. If you don't be quiet,

(02:07:00):
pat sing a song? Well while he gets ready. This
always takes ten minutes. That way you get rid. I
got to read this. I got to read this letter.
This comes to us from Don. Hello Don. Unusual intro.
He goes, hey, bag sniffers, that's sure. How to take
that balls? And he says, oh that's what he means. Yes,

(02:07:21):
Now I can't read the rest of it. If you're cool,
If you cool, you send us an email. The only
way you can send a message that you're cool without
sending a message is to say, dear show. Yeah, he says,
while you were talking about the greatest band ever, the
Ozark Mountain Daredevils. They're still touring after fifty two years.
Try their gin, Josh, you like this It's made from

(02:07:45):
Missouri botanicals and it's the best. All right, Well, then
if you don.

Speaker 7 (02:07:50):
Make a French seventy five with it?

Speaker 1 (02:07:52):
This weekend, Ozark Mountain Daredevils had a couple of great songs.

Speaker 6 (02:07:55):
If you want to get to Heaven. I love that
Christy that has the best harmonica solo. Maybe if they
do what did you just say?

Speaker 1 (02:08:01):
They did? Yeah? They did? What did you say about
what I said?

Speaker 7 (02:08:04):
I will make a French seventy five with that this weekend.

Speaker 1 (02:08:07):
Can you can you do me a favor?

Speaker 7 (02:08:08):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:08:09):
Get in the program. What is drinking to French seventy five?
Fancy martini?

Speaker 5 (02:08:13):
Right?

Speaker 7 (02:08:13):
No, well it's jin prosecco and too much liquor club soda.

Speaker 1 (02:08:19):
That's the only way I can maybe, So if she
makes me drink so now drunker, I am the better.

Speaker 7 (02:08:25):
People, but simple syrup in it. I don't care for that.

Speaker 1 (02:08:27):
Hear that? That's all twenty four hours a day at
my house. Well, her house. It's been made clear. Now okay, now, Pat, Yeah,
the topic is things every one should know by the
time they're eighteen, and we've had a couple of good examples.
Things you don't like to be able to drive a
stick shift.

Speaker 7 (02:08:47):
Here's a good one. Packing a suitcase efficiently, taking no
more than necessary.

Speaker 1 (02:08:51):
That's good. That's always overpacked?

Speaker 33 (02:08:53):
Do you really?

Speaker 1 (02:08:54):
Oh, I'm a mess? Not absolutely not me.

Speaker 11 (02:08:56):
I can.

Speaker 7 (02:08:57):
I can carry on and go to Europe.

Speaker 1 (02:08:59):
Go now some of these things we've learned that YouTube
can be quite a help. Right. Uhuh?

Speaker 7 (02:09:04):
This one I don't think I could do. Cut up
a whole chicken into pieces.

Speaker 1 (02:09:07):
Oh, what is that? Spatchcock? Yeah? Spatchcocks when you crush
it down with a with a cement block. Right.

Speaker 7 (02:09:14):
Cleaning a fish?

Speaker 1 (02:09:15):
I can't do that either, Josh, Why does everybody when
they're eighteen have to do that?

Speaker 7 (02:09:20):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:09:21):
What about scaling a fish? Josh? Uh sure? Still reviewing.
I really like this topic. Things you're supposed to know
by the time you're eighteen any more?

Speaker 8 (02:09:31):
Good one?

Speaker 7 (02:09:31):
Scrub Pat mentioned these. Change a tire of course. Tie
a tie that's on here?

Speaker 1 (02:09:36):
Can you tie a tie?

Speaker 7 (02:09:37):
Josh?

Speaker 6 (02:09:38):
Yeah, yeah, I've never tried tying a bow tie, but
I can absolutely. There are lots of shortcuts of time
to time. It looks really cool. I haven't tried it
yet on there. Yeah, oh so a.

Speaker 7 (02:09:48):
Button back on? Can y'all do that?

Speaker 1 (02:09:49):
Yep? I used to be able to you can't. How
do you lose the talent?

Speaker 6 (02:09:56):
I really do feel like it really in helmech We
had to do it, and I learned, and I don't.
I feel like I could do it now. Maybe I could.

Speaker 1 (02:10:03):
I've got one of those little tomatoes my needles.

Speaker 3 (02:10:09):
You doo.

Speaker 1 (02:10:09):
Absolutely, that's important on a rainy Sunday afternoon. I show
the dogs sweaters.

Speaker 7 (02:10:18):
It does say contact a tailor or seamstress for more
major repair.

Speaker 1 (02:10:24):
That's not necessary. No, I'm on a simplicity pattern right now,
just to die for.

Speaker 7 (02:10:32):
It's very funny. We got that, okay, performed CPR or
the heimlick. That's very important.

Speaker 1 (02:10:40):
One of our guys, Mike Mark, Yeah, save somebody just
recently they eat like two weeks ago, like the guy
in a restaurant. Well, anybody could say, there's no video
proof of that.

Speaker 7 (02:10:50):
Oh you guys.

Speaker 1 (02:10:51):
Oh god, I hope that Josh is turning purple before
someone comes up. Hey, I'm gonna heimlick it out a
renowned lie r on our staff.

Speaker 7 (02:11:02):
Okay, sorry, eighteen year old should be able to do laundry.
Read laundry labels, no wind, to hand wash, iron fold, pat,
can you trap?

Speaker 1 (02:11:13):
I mean I have a draw washer that I have
sort of figured out. I don't put the I put
the whites in the hot and I used the cold
for the But you do do laundry.

Speaker 11 (02:11:21):
I do.

Speaker 1 (02:11:22):
I'm sure you're fine. Washer and dryer there and you
use it. Yeah. I prefer to go down to the
shirt place Zips. Here in town. It's called zips. Wait
a minute, Hang on a second.

Speaker 7 (02:11:34):
You take your laundry to a place and they.

Speaker 1 (02:11:36):
Do it for you. Yeah, I prefer that it's called zips.
You tell you dumple load in? Is that what you
do down Zips? I see you talk about a liar.
At first, he doesn't do his own laundry. No, I
think he does socks and oh sockh boy. And I'll

(02:11:58):
learned that when you were forty. But they do. I
meant to tell you, guys, this is more than just
a dry leader. The big, the big occurrence out of
going to a Ruba whether the hotel room had an
amazing iron. I couldn't believe it. Wow. I immediately ordered
an exact copy on Amazon, and I got it a
couple of days ago. This thing is amazing. Well, it

(02:12:18):
makes it so cool. It's just light, it's it keeps temperature.
I had an iron that if you held it didn't
hold your mouth right, it would slip off of linen
and cotton and it was a mess. It was just
I got a real important tip. I got a great
iron now man. Hotel irons nice and light like I
like to use them, But if you're using them, try
them out on a.

Speaker 7 (02:12:38):
Towel first, in case there's a ruster.

Speaker 1 (02:12:41):
Yeah, it's ever done. The thing you take. You pressed
that steam spray button. All of a sudden you've got
this imprint on your white shirt. It looks like a
Japanese flag. Well, the day of my comedy specially, I
burned my stage shirt a hotel iron. Yeah, the kind
of fabric was too hot. Big hole. Oh okay, once again,

(02:13:02):
more things you're supposed to know by.

Speaker 7 (02:13:03):
The time you're what else do we want? Oh, this
is one we were talking about with just the other day.
Coil an extension cord or a long rope properly, because
there is a way to do that.

Speaker 1 (02:13:14):
There are there are handymen who lose their minds. Yep,
if you don't actual real men construction. If you don't
do that correctly, you get really upset. They do. Oh
you're gone. I loasen the plug in it or I
don't have that. They were again. If you're on a sailboat,
you've got to make sure your lines are clean and naturally. Yeah, yeah,

(02:13:35):
same thing. I mean you could trip and their life
and death on saleboat. Of course.

Speaker 7 (02:13:40):
Check your oil and wiper fluid levels. Top off as needed.

Speaker 1 (02:13:43):
That's important.

Speaker 7 (02:13:44):
Get an oil change and change your wipers. I don't
change my well.

Speaker 1 (02:13:49):
I change I can change my wife. I found out
on YouTube how to change my wipers.

Speaker 7 (02:13:54):
Create a simple menu, play grocery list. You can't do that.

Speaker 1 (02:13:59):
No, get a grocery list. You know what I make
for dinner, lunch, it's a it's a phone call, it's
nap door.

Speaker 7 (02:14:10):
Write a proper thank you card. That is an art
that's going away.

Speaker 1 (02:14:13):
I told you that that was one I was joking on.

Speaker 27 (02:14:15):
You know.

Speaker 1 (02:14:16):
Yeah, you're right, And here we are.

Speaker 7 (02:14:19):
Pitch in doing dishes after a meal at someone's home.

Speaker 1 (02:14:22):
Screw you, yeah you do. But if they're doing dishes,
I can go in their bathroom and go through their
medicine cabinet, see what I need. This is like straight
out of How to make friends and influence people.

Speaker 7 (02:14:37):
This is old school, unclogged toilets and drains.

Speaker 6 (02:14:41):
Well, unless you're at someone else's house. Let me leave
that for him, right, Josh, that's right, you invited me over.
I take a dump and ruin your toilet clean.

Speaker 1 (02:14:48):
This is you know how good your food? Out of
the bathroom and you point your thummy. I wreck that
place in there. Good.

Speaker 7 (02:14:57):
Here's one that's really stupid. Pack a lunch? Who can't
pack a lunch?

Speaker 1 (02:15:02):
I can't pack a lunch. My mom packed. I will
never pack again because I had to when I was
in school and I was embarrassed every day because everybody
else bought them lunch the cafeteria. Oh and I had
to steal money from old people before I could get lunch.
I was on the free Lunch program talk about being bullied, like, hey,
why are you bullying? I'm already very poor and now

(02:15:24):
you're going to make fun of me for it?

Speaker 7 (02:15:27):
Can I take you out to lunch?

Speaker 1 (02:15:29):
I'm fine? Now we could tell. So the way the
program worked, they would let everyone know that I had
to pull out a. It was a punch card, so
I had to carry it with me and I had
to hand it to them, and uh, they made it,
you know, subtle. It was bright kneon orange and like
a d uy license plate from Ohio.

Speaker 7 (02:15:52):
Here's one for you. Josh read a challenging book cover
to cover.

Speaker 1 (02:15:56):
Okay, yeah, yeah, I've done it.

Speaker 7 (02:15:59):
I've done it.

Speaker 1 (02:16:00):
What's the most challenging book you've read?

Speaker 7 (02:16:01):
You wouldna, I can't even say.

Speaker 1 (02:16:06):
You can't say the title.

Speaker 7 (02:16:08):
I was so disappointed with that book.

Speaker 1 (02:16:09):
Oh my god, what are you talking.

Speaker 7 (02:16:11):
We got to talk about it my life and it
was not that challenging.

Speaker 1 (02:16:15):
I mean, maybe you should have tried reading it in English,
the original Russians real time. Yeah, she was no idea,
all these backwards letters.

Speaker 7 (02:16:23):
What happens, Get on a plane, train or bus and
go somewhere on your own.

Speaker 1 (02:16:27):
Her name was Anne Karen.

Speaker 9 (02:16:28):
And then.

Speaker 1 (02:16:31):
One of the things I don't think is on this list.
This is not a joke. Someone told me that by
the time a kid goes to college, you should be
able to leave them in your house and leave for
a week and when you come back the house is
still intact.

Speaker 7 (02:16:44):
Well, of course that doesn't happen.

Speaker 1 (02:16:47):
Uh, I'm guessing. I'm just going to guess. But I
don't think Tom ever had this. Just a shot in
the dark. Yeah, I can't go into too much detail,
but it's interesting the number of times I've met the police.
Oh hi, Tom, we got a call. Yeah, I've been there.

Speaker 7 (02:17:11):
And then the last one we'll do is turn off
all plumbing and electrical breakers.

Speaker 1 (02:17:15):
The only way I don't know where my water shut
off is. Oh you got I'm surprised. I know where
my I can shut it off at the water soft
We did not either.

Speaker 7 (02:17:23):
We had to have handyman Mike come over last weekend
to show.

Speaker 1 (02:17:26):
Yet, you gotta know where that is, and you've got
to know. I think it's the curb where the boxes
are the curb. That's the curb. Yeah, the water shut off,
that's really important people. It's outside. They have to have
this big key thing and you gotta get You gotta
know where the some pump if you have if depending
on where you live, your house is like all that
stuff pump. Yeah, walk through.

Speaker 7 (02:17:49):
There's a lot.

Speaker 1 (02:17:50):
There are a lot more, but we go this is fun. Uh.
And then there's also a list for you know, old
people do yeah. I think it's very important when you
reach the age of fifth that you have a drawer
that has a series of old cell phones that no
longer work, and the chargers.

Speaker 7 (02:18:07):
And iPads and laptops and you.

Speaker 1 (02:18:10):
Know how many iPads MacBooks or whatever? Laptops? iPads?

Speaker 24 (02:18:19):
Do you have?

Speaker 1 (02:18:20):
Old phones? Do you have in drawers somewhere?

Speaker 7 (02:18:22):
I have them in a box now because we're just
moved and it's in a tote that's like this deep
in this one. I don't know what to do with them.

Speaker 1 (02:18:28):
I've got I have ten of those. Oh my god,
how many old routers do you have in a box?
I did? I?

Speaker 11 (02:18:34):
Do you like?

Speaker 1 (02:18:35):
Yeah? I had to go through like two or three
routers for I that one I liked. Yeah, Now, well
this is really funing this a lot, a lot more. Okay,
what else is coming up in the news.

Speaker 7 (02:18:48):
We have a British Airways flight attendant loses it in
business class.

Speaker 10 (02:18:53):
BlimE me.

Speaker 1 (02:18:54):
I can't believe we don't have this story every day.

Speaker 7 (02:18:56):
We know this one was working.

Speaker 1 (02:19:00):
This is a really good one.

Speaker 7 (02:19:02):
A gender reveal at thirty thousand feet.

Speaker 1 (02:19:04):
Oh and hey, take a look at this. I think
a gender reveal. Gender gender reveals are now illegal. What yeah, yeah,
you have to let the kid decide when they're seven.
Oh okay, I'll tell you how to unclog a drain
when I come back. The best unclogged drain liquid that
I found, history of the world. It's amazing. Gasoline, I

(02:19:26):
stand by it. Well, gasoline, you need an empty beer bottle,
Gasoline in a rag and you dog you can't don't
log anything in two seconds a Russian technique, right, yeah, yeah, unbelievable.
You want to have you want to have one of
those long lighters though, Oh yeah, that way.

Speaker 9 (02:19:43):
We're coming right back. Comedian Audrey Stewart is in studio
and just a minute stand by. This is the Bob
and Tom Show. More of the Bob and Tom Show. Now,
welcome back. This is Christian. You're in the Bob and
Tom studios. Comedian Audrey Stewart joined us recently. Here's her

(02:20:04):
second I am Josh Arnold and there's Tom and Tom.
We are about to be introduced to a brand new
guest to the show.

Speaker 11 (02:20:13):
Tom.

Speaker 7 (02:20:13):
This is not how radio works, by the way, is.

Speaker 1 (02:20:19):
This time with the microphone on? You're good. I appreciated
you wanting to give me my space, and you know
what I mean. Yeah, I don't want to while you're
trying to talk, I'm murmuring over here. Welcome to the show.
Audrey Stewart, hey, lovely young comedian. And I just understand

(02:20:40):
I found out something very interesting. You don't know my son, Willy,
who's right over there, but you do know his girlfriend.

Speaker 32 (02:20:46):
Yes, I know his girlfriend. Ray Robinson went to camp
to get.

Speaker 1 (02:20:49):
First and last names. Was her name, Ray Robinson?

Speaker 28 (02:21:00):
Sorry?

Speaker 1 (02:21:00):
Really no, it's okay. She's not the teacher. He's gonna
get fired. It's fine. They're all good. I don't know
if you know this.

Speaker 29 (02:21:07):
If you work for the government, dating me is illegal.
I don't know if you guys, Yeah, you can't have
that around, you know.

Speaker 1 (02:21:16):
Not continuing the pat god when heritage dating problem. Andrew,
we don't know anything about you. Uh so they'll listen.

Speaker 5 (02:21:21):
Yeah, I'll I'm five. I thought I was five ten,
but recently they said five to nine. So I'm five nine.
I'm still a tall girl. I'm a Hoosier born and
raised Indianapolis, Indiana. Oh yeah, yeah, live in LA now,
stand up comedian?

Speaker 1 (02:21:36):
Yeah, now a single dating Actually yeah.

Speaker 32 (02:21:40):
I'm dating a guy right now, which is great.

Speaker 1 (02:21:43):
I have no type.

Speaker 32 (02:21:44):
I dated a woman before him.

Speaker 1 (02:21:46):
Yeah, that is really and she is opening up you
know it's the radio. Sure, whatever does the guy know
about the lady thing?

Speaker 5 (02:21:57):
Yeah, he knows about the lady thing. Yeah, I mean
there're he is like this like jacked, lumberjack kind of guy.
And and the girl I dated was like a very
fem girl. But he knows about it because like I
don't know, we'll be sitting together and when I dated
my ex, I won't give her first lass.

Speaker 1 (02:22:14):
Ye please rights and I would be that would be
really kind of problematic, really, askimo comedian. We're not not
this morning, not again. We've been down that road. It
was no fun for everybody. I don't know if you
guys remember that morning butt of winks and smokes and

(02:22:36):
mirrors going on there. So does your does your male
companion feel obligated to be extraordinarily masculine?

Speaker 5 (02:22:43):
Yeah, I feel like he overdoes it sometimes, but we'll like,
I don't know, I feel like he it's not like
it's an awkward thing in our relationship. But sometimes we'll
be like sitting on the couch and I'll be like
going through my Facebook and like memories will pop up
and it's like that's how I came. I was like,
I'll never do to guy like and then that'll pop
up and he'll see that and be like what is this?

Speaker 32 (02:23:04):
I was like, Oh, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:23:07):
Old times times are horrible.

Speaker 5 (02:23:13):
To know.

Speaker 1 (02:23:14):
Yikes. Now you live in Los Angeles? Have you uh
when you got out there to try to do comedy?
Were you doing uh? Non like dramatic or were you
for example, like a day job like a waitress or
I was doing.

Speaker 5 (02:23:28):
I had like seven different jobs all the time. I
was a dog walker, I water flowers, nanning, I babysat
a lot.

Speaker 32 (02:23:36):
That was the main thing is when I babies. Yeah,
you like kids, love kids. Kids are the bus never
never a waitress, No, never a waitress.

Speaker 1 (02:23:46):
Would you be a good waitress?

Speaker 5 (02:23:48):
I think I'd be pretty bad. I'm really clumsy. I
feel like i'd be really bad. I would drop all
stuff all the time.

Speaker 32 (02:23:54):
Immediately.

Speaker 29 (02:24:00):
This was a great last visit. Yeah, let's go around
the horn. Now in La are like are l a
kids like weird? Two babies said, do they have like
different like snacks? Like do they have like okay, so
La is so much different.

Speaker 5 (02:24:14):
I babysat a lot in Indiana, and the snacks were amazing,
and then La, they'll be like, it's happy to have
to anything in the house. And then you open one
of their cabinets, it's like an almond that has.

Speaker 32 (02:24:24):
No salt on it, and what is this.

Speaker 1 (02:24:28):
To my house?

Speaker 5 (02:24:29):
And they also are very boogie Like one of the
moms I baby sat for, she like kept her breast
milk in like the fridge, and I actually I drank
it rank.

Speaker 1 (02:24:39):
Did you know it was breast milk?

Speaker 32 (02:24:40):
No, I didn't know the time, but.

Speaker 1 (02:24:41):
It was sweet.

Speaker 32 (02:24:42):
It was very good. It's very good.

Speaker 1 (02:24:44):
It was califurtis. It was probably almond. Yeah, everything you're
saying sounds like my house, So I think good. Let's
I want to go around the horn. Here. Jobs you've
had before this one? Ace? Did you you you were
doing radio in high school? Right? Yeah?

Speaker 22 (02:25:00):
But I did a summer where I was working in
food service at a hospital, delivering trays.

Speaker 1 (02:25:06):
To the You know, kidding, but you didn't cook. You
weren't a waiter. No, No, you'd be a great waiter. No,
you'd just scare people. Oh we would know, we would.
None of us think you're scary a success, I know,
but we also know none of us are scary or
a nice guy. I'm not suggesting you're not contimidating. I've

(02:25:31):
done things.

Speaker 29 (02:25:34):
Get Willie, you were a camp counselor yeah, I'm a
big camp guy, which those those job skills don't really
translate to the real world. I guess the one thing
is you kind of have to be prepared for anything,
you know, like, uh, the camp that I went to,
I was there since I was like a little kid,
and so my boss at one point was this guy
that I like looked up to, you know, he was
the camp manager. And one time a kid went to

(02:25:54):
the bathroom in his pants and on the floor and
I had to clean it up. And I ran in
like his office when I was like eighteen, like, hey, Mark,
I gotta get the key so I can clean up
some some poop from a kid. And he got this
like twinkle in his eye, like look at Willie G.
He used to be the kid poop and now he's like,
look at how.

Speaker 1 (02:26:10):
Grown up he is. And he threw me the key.
It's nice, and thank you for saying pooh, yeah.

Speaker 14 (02:26:18):
Poo.

Speaker 1 (02:26:19):
Yeah, that's you're very much. Patty G. Yeah, you didn't you.
We were a dish for one year at Sully's Oaken
Bucket with Kenny. Aaronoff was the cook. We had the
famous drummer. It's Cutty's birthday today? Is it really famous?
John Mellencamp first together for a year, getting no work
done and laughing.

Speaker 7 (02:26:41):
Did you guys write songs together?

Speaker 1 (02:26:42):
No? No, I watched this band a lot, though I'd
follow him around. He's a band called stream Winner before
uh Mellencamp cool. He's the greatest. He is. He's a
wonderful guy. He's got a book out there called Sex,
Drums and Rock and Roll.

Speaker 7 (02:26:55):
It's very good.

Speaker 1 (02:26:55):
Oh yes, Christie Lee, you worked at Arby's.

Speaker 7 (02:26:58):
Yes, welcome Darby's. May take your order please.

Speaker 1 (02:27:00):
Where you got your mic technique? Sure? Yeah?

Speaker 7 (02:27:02):
I worked in the hospital like Ace I was in.
I was a ward secretary in the emergency.

Speaker 1 (02:27:08):
Room at the note Arby's. Is it true that you'd
give the time and temp and then on the tense traffic.

Speaker 7 (02:27:13):
Yes, welcome to Arby's. It's cloudy Skuy's thirty two degrees.

Speaker 1 (02:27:16):
What would you like today?

Speaker 7 (02:27:17):
I recommend a classic growth speed.

Speaker 29 (02:27:19):
This says, well, this does kind of translate my last
summer at camp. I just started doing stand up the
summer before, and part of my job at camp was
I would lead like sort of these like they were
kind of like religious meetings. I guess, I don't want
to call it church. We called it crossfire. Yeah, And
so like you go and you talk about like Joan
and the Whale or the Good Samaritan, and I would
try to tell these stories and kind of be kind

(02:27:40):
of funny and engaging. And one day after chapel, it
didn't go very well, and I went to my boss
and I was just like, yeah, I just feel like
I kind of bombed up there. And she was like,
you're not performing stand up, trying to teach a lesson,
get over yourself.

Speaker 1 (02:27:54):
I was going to tell you about the resurrection, but
I got the light, so you're gonna have to wait.
It's a great story, some say the greatest, but you know,
it depends on your religious point of view. Christie Lisa.

Speaker 7 (02:28:06):
A man is seen writhing in pain after being bitten
in the groin by a large snake. Cool videos of
the incident show the man right writhing on the ground
with the reptile latched onto his jeans. Another man tries
to assist by placing a stick in the snake's mouth
before pouring water over its head.

Speaker 1 (02:28:23):
See the very slowly placing a stick.

Speaker 7 (02:28:27):
Yeah, the incident occurred. It gets your mind out of
the cover.

Speaker 1 (02:28:30):
Well that's what's going on. The snake's all over his
you know. Yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:28:33):
Well the incident occurred in Panitall, Brazil, where the man
was taken to the hospital as you would expect for
medical treatment.

Speaker 1 (02:28:41):
Hmm, it's rough. I couldn't even watch it. After a snakes,
you know, latched onto him. Yeah, it's gotta suck. It's
a big one, a big one. They're gonna make a
movie out of him, Yeah they are. Yeah. Yeah, what's
it called snakes on a wan? Okay?

Speaker 29 (02:28:58):
I mean sometimes I feel grabbing a conversation and then
I think it was trying to be funny.

Speaker 1 (02:29:04):
He does that. I thought we're having a nice morning together.
Who are these snake people? Josh is a Snakey's snake?

Speaker 5 (02:29:13):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:29:13):
Would you ever handle your snake unclothed? No? No.

Speaker 6 (02:29:17):
If I when I had a snake, I would not
do that. There would be no occasion to Why would you. Yeah,
Britney Spears did, Yeah, but she.

Speaker 1 (02:29:30):
Doesn't have her own snake for this thing to Oh
look it's brethren.

Speaker 7 (02:29:34):
What do you think the snakes are jealous of his snake?

Speaker 1 (02:29:36):
Ye snake? On snake Crime, we.

Speaker 5 (02:29:38):
Had an albino snake that my brother had that got
out and then no one ever found it, so it's
like in the walls somewhere. And then the new owners
came and I was like, are we going to tell
them about the snake that's growing in the walls and
they're like.

Speaker 7 (02:29:51):
Yeah, that's not on the seller's disclosure for.

Speaker 1 (02:29:55):
We get those stories all the time. It's usually in
Australia and it'll be the been next door has a
twenty five foot deadly python or something slithering in the toilet.
I guess yeah. Those are awful. When you guys lost
a snake, how long did you look? Was it like
a three day ordeal with it?

Speaker 32 (02:30:11):
I feel like it was like a week hunt and
then we were like.

Speaker 1 (02:30:14):
Eh, it was a week a week pause, all right, guys.

Speaker 7 (02:30:23):
I bet you didn't have any mice after that though?

Speaker 32 (02:30:25):
No, yeah, no problems.

Speaker 7 (02:30:28):
You could hear it.

Speaker 1 (02:30:29):
Sometimes I feel like I would imagine the cold might
have taken the taken.

Speaker 7 (02:30:32):
It depends on There are plenty of warms.

Speaker 1 (02:30:34):
Seen the cat? How about the baby? I heard from
the I have another question about this video, and I
asked this about a lot of these videos. Who's the
guy while his buddy is screaming in pain with a

(02:30:54):
snake attached to his groin? Who's the guy that manages
to keep holding the camera? Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:30:59):
Yeah, yeah, I mean any of my friends or brothers
bitten the groin by a snake?

Speaker 1 (02:31:03):
I'm absolutely yeah, that's money.

Speaker 3 (02:31:07):
Baby.

Speaker 1 (02:31:08):
If Christie, if a snake comes in here and bites
me on the d and if you if I look
over and you're trying to help me and not videotaping,
I'm furious with you. Really yeah, you'll leave them money
in the table.

Speaker 29 (02:31:19):
You got to document it so then you can show
the doctor the video later and you can show your
friends and make fun of the person.

Speaker 1 (02:31:24):
We Okay, is I going to.

Speaker 7 (02:31:25):
Make America's money his own video?

Speaker 12 (02:31:28):
Well?

Speaker 1 (02:31:28):
Maybe not the d I don't know. But in this case,
he's wearing pants, but it's it's clearly going through the
jeans into the area. Was it a venomous snake?

Speaker 7 (02:31:38):
Didn't say what kind of snake was.

Speaker 1 (02:31:41):
One would hope not. It's it's huge. It's got that.
Going forward, I think we have time for one more
news story from Christie Lee.

Speaker 7 (02:31:47):
A woman celebrating her one and sixth birthday, says the
key to longevity is chocolate.

Speaker 1 (02:31:54):
Really, Edith Hill.

Speaker 7 (02:31:56):
And Segnus England says her favorit chocolate bar is Cadbury
dairy milk.

Speaker 11 (02:32:02):
Well.

Speaker 1 (02:32:02):
The key to a longevity for her probably was not
getting hit by a bomb during the blitz creak hit
in the basement with all the chocolate I was. I
was down in the tube tell you what she did.

Speaker 7 (02:32:21):
Admit she will give any sweet tree to try, though,
especially at Easter.

Speaker 1 (02:32:25):
We always get these stories and it's always something different.

Speaker 7 (02:32:27):
It's either beer or reason.

Speaker 1 (02:32:29):
Why I live so long, just because I feel most
of my husband's squaiet.

Speaker 7 (02:32:35):
The Centinari now lives at the Aspen Lodged care Home.
The staff planning a special birthday celebration for her, including
the double chocolate.

Speaker 1 (02:32:49):
We got to help you. I long for the sweet
release of one final sunset or milk.

Speaker 7 (02:32:59):
According to the US, She said that not only is
chocolate one of the secrets to a long life, she
says being independent and partying and.

Speaker 1 (02:33:15):
Audrey do as we say not as we do. Be
careful on the radio. There's a can't say in England that,
of course, referring to spotted dick a.

Speaker 7 (02:33:30):
Very nice dessert.

Speaker 1 (02:33:31):
Spotted dick is a dessert here in the here in
the States, it's a find it again. I think it's
tertiary syphilis. Unnoticing you've seen the pictures that he she's
holding two big chocolate bars, but her mouth has closed
in all the shots. Of course, because she's in England, English,
and there's probably not a lot of choppers in there.
That weren't a lot of chopper.

Speaker 5 (02:33:52):
Yes.

Speaker 7 (02:33:52):
In A pop up store in Tokyo is letting customers
pay to go into the store and shoplift.

Speaker 1 (02:33:59):
Oh, this is fun. Yes, this is cool. Actually, so
you can feel like you're doing something. Yeah, yeah, so.

Speaker 7 (02:34:03):
Our News twenty four reports the shop called Toe it's
spelled Toh is drawing enough crowds to make four hour lines.
Customers pay six dollars and sixty cents to enter the shop,
where they have sixty seconds to snatch up any merchandise
they like as quietly as they can.

Speaker 1 (02:34:20):
Oh, I'd happily do this A good time.

Speaker 7 (02:34:24):
Decorated to resemble a type of black market. The store
is outfitted with sensitive radio microphones, so if patrons make
any excessive noise, their experience will end abruptly and they
get nothing.

Speaker 1 (02:34:34):
That's funny. See, so there's there is something at stake. Yeah, yeah,
which I think is kind of funny.

Speaker 7 (02:34:39):
There are thousands of items to steal, such as snacks,
used books, clothing by Fruit of the Loom which sent
me in underwear, pillows, and even mattresses.

Speaker 1 (02:34:48):
Can you just trying to steal? But the interesting thing
to me is if you try to keeister something and
get out. Yeah, there's an additional cleaning fee, which I
think is you'll get to keep it if the stuff
you know the one cleaning it. Yeah, you've got a
nice sleeve of titleists there, sir, but we have some

(02:35:12):
tongs and gloves where you got to put it back
on the show. That's a really interesting I wonder how
that would work in the States. Do you think it
would work? Yes, Yes, it's a fun. That's a fun.
But I think you should get people like twenty minutes
and have you know, guards walking around, but you have
well why you stuck all the fun out of it? No,
that's the fun part. You kind of sneak around. Oh
I see guards. Oh yeah, the guards could be fun. Yeah,

(02:35:35):
if you could get caught, you know, it'd be really fun.
What if they gave you a gun?

Speaker 7 (02:35:41):
It's not the Purge Willing.

Speaker 1 (02:35:44):
Or Chicago.

Speaker 29 (02:35:48):
I want to do an armed robbery, but I don't
want to get in trouble and I don't want to
shoot anybody. I just want to hold it and then
I at the end, I check it out, I check
it back in, they go, thank you man.

Speaker 1 (02:35:57):
The problem with that is you might get you that's
a twenty years.

Speaker 6 (02:36:00):
What I really's saying is this is a completely simulated things,
much like the shoplifting thing. Oh right, yeah, how much
would you pay to be able to rob a bank?
But it's all pretend, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (02:36:13):
Yeah that's great. Yeah i'd pay three fifty three fifty dollars.

Speaker 29 (02:36:16):
People would do this, yeah, oh yeah, I would pay
I would pay them three hundred and fifty just for
one hundred dollars ATM transaction.

Speaker 1 (02:36:24):
Like I just want I want to I want.

Speaker 29 (02:36:25):
To go in there, Hey, give me all the money, bang, bang,
and then I just I give him my pen number.

Speaker 1 (02:36:29):
I just get one hundred bucks and I'm out of there.
I think that'd be fun. Audrey Stewart, have you ever shoplifted?
Every girl I've ever met a shoplift?

Speaker 5 (02:36:39):
Well, I wish I could be the first to say no,
but I did. I when I was younger of the Blockbuster,
Remember Blockbuster the gumballs. I got some gumballs like in
the pack and I was like, start chewing it on
the way out. And my Mom's like, we're didn't pay
for the house. And she was like, you need to
go in there and apologize, and I was just like,
I'm sorry for.

Speaker 9 (02:37:02):
We'll wrap things up this morning a segment about Yachts
for Tots and crapping in a cooler. Oh, you've got
to stand by from that. It's next here on The
Bob and Tom Show, the best of the Bob and
Tom Show. Here, this is Christopher and the Bob and
Tom Studios. Let's wrap things up this morning with Yachts

(02:37:24):
for Tots and crapping in a cooler.

Speaker 1 (02:37:26):
Earlier, we were talking about helping rich people out because
they kind of get the short end, right. We're starting
a sharing called Yachts for Rich People. But then we thought, hey,
let's start this even younger. And you know, pay it
forward with the kids. So we came up with yachts
for tots, and they don't have to be rich. They
can kids, that's right, as long as they get the

(02:37:46):
yacht fever, they get the little sailor cap like the
captain's cap like half four at the end, and one
of those whistles. Of course, whatever they do. Hey, Bob
and Tom, I'm Andy and I'm the president of the
Manhattan Yacht Club in Manhattan, Kansas. Okay. I find Josh's

(02:38:08):
attempt at humor rather off putting. We are a refined people.
I'm Michigan born, Colombian educated, and with summer homes into land.
How dare you besmirch our prolific yacht clubb There was
a misunderstanding here. I said, I was taking on the

(02:38:29):
role of one of the tots sing and I said, Hey,
I'm from Manhattan, Kansas.

Speaker 26 (02:38:33):
Uh huh.

Speaker 1 (02:38:34):
I was trying to think of the most landlocked area.

Speaker 3 (02:38:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:38:39):
Yeah, but apparently I'm wrong. There's a club there, right,
because I was just saying, nothing sadder than a large
yacht in a small pond, nothing sadder. Sure, that's exactly
what we did. Oh, sure, there are land mines and
kids have to walk through. But really the most poignant
sad is there used to be a very very small

(02:39:04):
it's not really even a lake, you know what I'm
talking about? Go on. There was a very large vessel
on it that quite literally couldn't start up and move.
They finally it was embarrassing.

Speaker 7 (02:39:15):
I remember seeing a cigarette boat, you know, those real
high speed boats on like a lake.

Speaker 1 (02:39:22):
Doing. This wasn't a lake. It was really a pond. Yes,
I was like, what really doing? How would you get it?
You get it launched if you will? How would you
get that into the water crane? I think it was
very It was really silly. Let's let's move forward. Here
we have Christie Lee at the SILOAC Insurance news desk.
What have we missed?

Speaker 7 (02:39:40):
A Pennsylvania woman has been arrested for allegedly defecating in
a convenience store beer cooler. An employee at Royal Farms
location in Hannover, Pennsylvania. Do you know where that is?

Speaker 1 (02:39:56):
I grew up. That's where the pretzels are.

Speaker 7 (02:39:58):
The unknown woman I had come in the previous day
and defecated in the beer cave to our security. Footage
showed the suspect pushing a case of alcoholic beverages back
on the shelf.

Speaker 1 (02:40:08):
No, honey, I said, take some schlitz. This dung's.

Speaker 7 (02:40:14):
Pulling her pants down and defecating on the shelves, then
leaving it.

Speaker 1 (02:40:20):
From keep it from spoiling. What kind of sick Wait
till you're here. Don't they have a restroom there?

Speaker 7 (02:40:27):
The woman, identified as forty seven year old Crystal Gauze,
is the director of food and nutrition for a local
school district. Okay something and she was arrested on multiple charges,
including open lewdness, disorderly conduct, and something that created a
hazardous and physically offensive condition.

Speaker 1 (02:40:46):
There's got to be something else.

Speaker 7 (02:40:48):
Public count say that.

Speaker 1 (02:40:52):
This must be some kind of revenge thing.

Speaker 6 (02:40:55):
You don't think it could have just been an emergency. No,
I would go in my pants for really. Yes, well
that's discussing to clear the shelves.

Speaker 1 (02:41:05):
I mean, yeah, you had one. In an emergency, I
think you would just on the floor, drop squat. Yeah
you wouldn't go. Well, maybe the shelf was ass height
there you go, Yeah, what would that would make sense?
I don't want to be I don't want to be
with you during an emergency. Wait, a second, give me

(02:41:28):
something as go over there. It's it's ass height. I
don't think I could dinner, so I don't think I
could do that anywhere.

Speaker 3 (02:41:37):
But in a toilet.

Speaker 1 (02:41:40):
All emergencies are emergencies. You guys know that I've in
the in the lake. Yeah, but if it's a if
it's a convenience store, they're undoubtedly going to have a
couple of different restrooms, of course. Would Is it possible
because you did that in the lake that that's the
only way now that you can have a satisfy. You
have to get car.

Speaker 7 (02:42:02):
While you fish all the time.

Speaker 1 (02:42:03):
Come on, all right, and you keep falling down?

Speaker 6 (02:42:10):
He does fall down a lot. Okay, I'll fall man,
I'm a clumsy man. It's a slow fall too.

Speaker 7 (02:42:19):
A Missouri man who crashed his truck into a come
and go store blames the incident on his crocks.

Speaker 1 (02:42:25):
I believe this, sure, I do too.

Speaker 7 (02:42:27):
If you drive with flip flops on, it's the same situation.
Security footage showed the sixty year old Dale Hammett hitting
the Springfield store and fleeing. He returned twice in the
same truck, but didn't admit that he was the driver. Later,
he told police his crocs got stuck on the pedal,
causing him to accelerate into the building. He panicked and fled.

(02:42:48):
Seems he was arrested in charge with leaving the scene
of an accident and caused about thirty seven hundred dollars
in damage.

Speaker 1 (02:42:55):
Yeah, I totally get this. Yeah, your shoes get.

Speaker 7 (02:43:00):
Yeah, but would you flee the scene? You would just
admit it.

Speaker 1 (02:43:02):
All right?

Speaker 7 (02:43:03):
Why would you leave?

Speaker 1 (02:43:06):
Maybe he came. That's a fascinating theory, it was, but
his he came and went. You know, it turns me.
There's a movie about that turns ramming into buildings. Yeah,

(02:43:26):
it's called Yeah, not the Not the Oscar Winner, the
other one.

Speaker 6 (02:43:30):
What yeah, about people who are sexually turned on by
automobile accidents being in them.

Speaker 1 (02:43:36):
I had no idea. It's a tough movie. It's not okay,
what's his face? Is that the weirdo Elias? Yes?

Speaker 5 (02:43:46):
Born?

Speaker 1 (02:43:46):
No, So this guy was charged with a crime because
only because he fled though, Yes, so if he stayed
there accident, Yeah, he might have to pay a fine.

Speaker 7 (02:44:02):
Insurance might have to cover it.

Speaker 1 (02:44:03):
But you know, I mean, wearing crocs is a fashion crime.
I think, Oh really, they're really popular man, very comfortable.

Speaker 33 (02:44:10):
I thought in some states it is illegal to drive
and flip flops.

Speaker 1 (02:44:13):
It should be. It's not a safe thing to do.
I've always heared illegal and bare feet, right, Yeah, Pat,
are you a crocs guy? I am? Indeed I will
wear them and take the dog out. Yeah. Yeah, they're
not bad now, they're plastic, they clean well. My son
likes them. All the kids wear the crocks now, Yeah,
they are forced to wear socks with them at school,
but they wear them different colors.

Speaker 6 (02:44:33):
My brother, my older brother, and I over the weekend,
which I mean different color kids at his school.

Speaker 33 (02:44:38):
Yeah, Josh, what were you saying about you and your brother?

Speaker 6 (02:44:44):
We were talking about how kids dress these days, and
I go, I I never thought we'd be these dudes,
man complaining about what the youth is wearing.

Speaker 3 (02:44:53):
Yeah, and.

Speaker 6 (02:44:55):
The boy crocs, long socks short, the shortest shorts of
we we got arrest.

Speaker 33 (02:45:02):
Yeah, five inch in scene for men's shorts is the style?

Speaker 1 (02:45:06):
Right, But he goes, my brother goes. But kids are
just slobs. Now, it's a totally different thing. There are
no Jeanes anymore, these shirts, sweatpants, shorts, comfort.

Speaker 6 (02:45:17):
But let's just stop being these guys, let's just accept
whatever's going on in and he's like, yeah, yeah, we
need to do Damn, hair's getting a lot.

Speaker 1 (02:45:24):
Of right, are you shorts? Get off my lawn. I've
never cared about what the kids and the clothes except
the ones that the pants are, you know, falling off.
I've never gotten that. Oh yeah, I think so having
your pants fall off, which is not a comfortable low
riding or whatever they call it. I don't know what

(02:45:45):
it what it is, but yeah, probable cause yes you would,
Yeah you would, Yeah you would.

Speaker 7 (02:45:55):
A Utah woman accused of leading police on a high
speed pursuit allegedly called Triple A after officers spiked her tire.

Speaker 1 (02:46:03):
Well you know it could had for them. Have you
been chased by?

Speaker 7 (02:46:09):
According to an affidavit, Utah Highway Patrol officer spotted the
woman going one hundred and twenty miles per hour on
I seventy. I tried to pull her over, but she refused.

Speaker 1 (02:46:20):
I had a buddy who did that, but he called
double A. Oh yeah yeah.

Speaker 7 (02:46:26):
Following a chase, troopers managed to take out the cars
left tire with spikes. The woman would not get out
of her car in about forty minutes into the stand up,
the driver called Triple A to get her tired Spike Spike.
The company transferred the call to the police, who transferred
it to the troopers who were at the scene, at
which point the woman was talked into exiting her vehicle.

(02:46:48):
The forty five year old was then booked into the
county jail.

Speaker 1 (02:46:51):
One hundred and twenty. Yeah, that's fast, pretty fast. While
she was then, she was sitting in the car, you
said for Yeah, she was.

Speaker 7 (02:46:57):
Sitting there surrounded by police and called Triple A thing
and they're gonna come fix her tire and she could
drive back.

Speaker 1 (02:47:02):
Get you out of the carpenter. I've got door dash
on the way. Yeah, please please. This is the Bob
and Tom Show. Jim Rome takes on sports.

Speaker 25 (02:47:17):
Why because you're not playing me with rapid fire takes
and a lot to get to and I'm not sure
you're gonna like all of it. Honestly, I don't even
care if you like all of it or not. I
have a job to do scorching debates on any given
a week. You have lots to beef about. Take advantage
of it. Get up in here.

Speaker 1 (02:47:32):
He's the spitfire of sports. Smack. She's not my fault.

Speaker 25 (02:47:35):
We will get to all of that the Jim Rome
Show podcast. Get up in here and we'll beef later
on What's Your Beef? If I would listen on your
favorite platform, you've been warned.

All Episodes

The BOB & TOM Show - July 3, 2025

Episode Transcript

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

New Heights with Jason & Travis Kelce

24/7 News: The Latest

.css-15opob5{left:0;position:absolute;top:0.8rem;} All Episodes

.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The BOB & TOM Show - July 3, 2025