The BOB & TOM Show - July 4, 2025 - The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
It's The Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
The Bobbin Tom Show presents Great Moments in Independence Day history.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
The year seventeen seventy six.

Speaker 4 (00:32):
The place, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. July fourth is the day that
our founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence. But did
you know that it was not originally called the Declaration
of Independence. Working titles included the Freedom Doctrine, the Liberty

(00:58):
manifest the Note to tell England to go get it
was all said and done. The Declaration of Independence became
one of the most important documents in modern history, alongside
the Magna Carta, the Constitution, and the autobiography Madonna, in

(01:23):
her own words.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
Great Moments in Independence Day his.

Speaker 5 (01:30):
Story from cost.

Speaker 6 (01:55):
Many portions of the upcoming program have been pre recorded.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
Meaning they've already happen and they're about to happen again.

Speaker 6 (02:04):
So where was it?

Speaker 7 (02:05):
Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
We're glad to have you here.

Speaker 6 (02:08):
It's The Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 1 (02:15):
Right away.

Speaker 8 (02:16):
I've got this letter. This is from Morgan.

Speaker 6 (02:18):
It's from Pete.

Speaker 8 (02:20):
He says, for Tom and Josh, Hi, the rest of
you guys are awesome.

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Okay, do mean exactly? I think this is.

Speaker 8 (02:29):
Sort of like the Gilligan's Island theme the first year,
where it said and the rest instead of saying the
professor and Marianne.

Speaker 6 (02:38):
So that if you're not familiar with this, but in
this case you want to be part of the rest,
because the suggestion is we're better than you.

Speaker 1 (02:44):
Right, we're not awesome?

Speaker 6 (02:47):
Right, I can't I left hand a compliment brand. Oh,
I think it's an insult to Tom and.

Speaker 8 (02:54):
All right, but it says for Tom and Josh and
the rest of the crew, you guys are awesome.

Speaker 6 (03:00):
Oh well, that's not how you read.

Speaker 8 (03:06):
The larger point. Here is the awesomeness here?

Speaker 1 (03:08):
What are you doing over there?

Speaker 6 (03:09):
Are you confusing the letter? Was that just the greeting?

Speaker 8 (03:12):
No, it's the it says, oh, I see, oh god,
you can't find Bigfoot, right, because you can't find Bigfoot
because he owes Chuck Norris money.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
See.

Speaker 8 (03:30):
This combines my love of Chuck Norris jokes with Josh's
love of Bigfoot. Oh and yet distaste for Chuck Norris joke.
Very funny, Pete, you're my new favorite listener. Okay, make
sure Chuck Norris over there.

Speaker 6 (03:44):
Well, if we're reading letters that are sort of apropos
nothing here's one. Did you know you can find Sorry,
Mikey says, do you know you can fend off a
bear attack with a twenty two caliber gun? He says,
it's true, but my buddy that I shot and the
knee didn't do so hat, So that's that's how you
do it.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
But I kept the bear from there.

Speaker 8 (04:08):
You go, very nice? Good, See this is these are
good facts to know. Yes, now here's just some. We
were talking a lot about music recently. Someone asked who
was the most into music on the show, and particularly
new music. I would think that it would be Chick.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
I have an unnatural curiosity for music.

Speaker 8 (04:31):
Josh, very open minded, listens to a lot of alt country.
You turned me on to uh, Cooky turns on cocaine?

Speaker 1 (04:42):
Was that Do you ever see that Paul Coffin video?
Or he does that line?

Speaker 6 (04:45):
The hell?

Speaker 7 (04:45):
Are you what?

Speaker 1 (04:46):
I love that song?

Speaker 6 (04:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (04:50):
But yeah, and Patty G I think that would be
the most into it.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah, since I do it?

Speaker 9 (04:55):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (04:56):
Is that right? Yeah? You're doing that over the trying to.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
I mean, no doubt we're all really interested in music.

Speaker 8 (05:04):
But see, in my case, and I don't know about
Christy anymore, but when you have little kids and you're
in the car. There's no point in arguing about it.
You listen to what they want to listen to. But
I have I have discovered a lot of There is
a lot of really great music. And I would never
have dou a leap. I'm a big fan of Olivia

(05:25):
Rodrigo and many many more, but I wouldn't have been
exposed to. But you guys are really deeply exploring the
world of music. We been talking a little bit about
the Beach Boys lately because of the sad death of
Brian Wilson, and we can argue there's a lot of
arguments when you go deep with the Beach Boys about
what the best albums are. This is from David. My

(05:48):
favorite Beach Boys All was their Christmas album. So many
memories of it, listening while decorating the Christmas tree, eating
mom's homemade cookies. Isn't this a nice letter? I knew
you wouldn't be able to take it.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
What was mom doing making homemade?

Speaker 6 (06:05):
What are the Beach Boys Christmas all nice?

Speaker 1 (06:06):
For him? Surfing Santa? Yeah? Yeah, a little little Saint Nick,
I think they do.

Speaker 6 (06:15):
And I got has been bitten off by a big
shark swimming and surfing, Christmas.

Speaker 1 (06:21):
Eve, what you want? I was a monster hit. Okay,
certainly it was Elmo and Patsy. Oh well, I guess
Patsy they got divorced.

Speaker 8 (06:29):
I don't go deep on. I think the guy that
wrote most of it doesn't get the money they do.

Speaker 10 (06:33):
The traditional songs. I just pulled up there. Oh I see, Yeah,
Merry Christmas Baby, Little Saint Nick, Frosty, the snow lit Nick.

Speaker 1 (06:41):
It's a lot of airplay.

Speaker 6 (06:42):
Yeah, it does.

Speaker 10 (06:43):
Fanta's beard, I'm not familiar now.

Speaker 6 (06:46):
I don't know that one. That one isn't it weird?
Sata's big great beard, you know, bring in the beard?
I beat that song. Bring in my top ten worst
rated songs context in the show.

Speaker 1 (07:05):
It's wonderful. Number one worst song ever for me? Is that?

Speaker 2 (07:08):
All?

Speaker 9 (07:09):
There is?

Speaker 1 (07:09):
All hate?

Speaker 8 (07:11):
I would say hate sometimes when we touch, Yeah, that's real.
That to me is the worst song. I can't believe
that wasn't a joke?

Speaker 11 (07:19):
Was it?

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Everybody replaced touch with another verse? Okay? Yeah, Dan Hill,
that song is horrible, Old Dan.

Speaker 8 (07:28):
Hill, sometimes you had you had that hand.

Speaker 1 (07:37):
The honesty too much?

Speaker 10 (07:39):
Seventy seven.

Speaker 6 (07:40):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:42):
It should never have been closes eyesenheide. That's how much
the touch means older he dies, He's dead already until
the life leaves your body.

Speaker 8 (07:54):
Break down after you're dead. Yeah, it's very weirds. So
she's holding a corpse of an ugly Have you seen
a picture of this guy.

Speaker 6 (08:00):
Yeah, he's not very I'd rather look at a elephants.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
His appearance has something uh irritating for you.

Speaker 8 (08:07):
Yes, everything about him I hate.

Speaker 10 (08:08):
I just remember slow dancing to that in high school.

Speaker 6 (08:10):
I get a dance or something.

Speaker 1 (08:11):
Really yeah, a little stinky finger, no dance floor. This
was a little bit long finger. That was the clumsy lyric.
He was married to it though he was okay. Got
this nice letter from Rory in Montana. Nice, what a

(08:32):
great name. I love Rory. That's a good name.

Speaker 8 (08:36):
Alhoun Montana, Montana, the Michigan of the West.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
Michigan Montana loving Montana's very in right now.

Speaker 10 (08:48):
Sure it is because of Yellowstone.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
I did well.

Speaker 8 (08:51):
There are many who loved it away before Yellows, I know,
but I'm just telling you, uh this, dear Fellows and Christie,
I heard past song about having a fourteen year old son.
My niece's boyfriend told me this story. Whenever he would
crack open a beer, her son would ask him if
he could have one. When he was about eleven, her

(09:13):
boyfriend would always tell her son, you have to have
hair in your balls to drink beer, all right. Then
he would ask her son if he had hair and
his balls, to which the little boy would reply, no, no.

Speaker 6 (09:25):
Beer for you.

Speaker 8 (09:25):
Then her boyfriend would tell him, then, you have to
have hair in your balls to drink beer. Three years later,
my niece was at work. Boyfriend gets home from work
on a warm day, cracks open a beer. Her son
asks if he can have one. My niece's boyfriend said
the same old response. At that point, My if you
jerked down his shorts and proudly pointed out three hairs.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
On the ball means.

Speaker 6 (09:51):
There you go.

Speaker 8 (09:52):
Wow, I'm doing the math here. He would have been fourteen,
still too young by the way. PS Chris, Yes, I
agree with you. I prefer the blonde oreos are not oreos.
I also prefer the thins over the regular oreos.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
Nice the flavors on oreos either.

Speaker 6 (10:12):
My pubes didn't come in that way. They came in
like a new lawn. There were many, many, many seed length,
thin short hairs that all grew together. You remember, Yeah,
of course I don't remember you guys remember I don't
remember how yours came in.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
Absolutely not. It seems like I always had hair. I
was always a hairy guy. Not me.

Speaker 6 (10:31):
Yeah we know.

Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you have is sacred. We suffer for that.

Speaker 6 (10:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (10:37):
Oh yeah, many do flip and day many do.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
That transforms your life.

Speaker 6 (10:45):
We were discussing the Mississippi River and whether or not
you can swim in it where I grew up. The
answer was no, you did not get into the Mississippi River.

Speaker 12 (10:53):
Uh.

Speaker 6 (10:53):
But Scott says, in Vicksburg, Mississippi, when the river is
at normal height, there's a great sandbar on the Louisiana side,
and they partied there on the weekends, swam tube, skied,
rode four wheelers and three wheelers all over the sandbar.

Speaker 1 (11:07):
Man, that must have been so fun.

Speaker 6 (11:09):
So absolutely there are areas of the Mississippi where it's possible,
and if you were near one, enjoy if you get
some of that Mississippi mud cat. How do you feel
about calling it the Mississip?

Speaker 1 (11:21):
Yeah?

Speaker 8 (11:21):
Fine, yeah, all right, that's that's usually used in a
song Mississip.

Speaker 6 (11:25):
What'd you guys call it in Saint Louis. The big river,
big money, the old man, Dad, What river is this that?
There's the Mississippi, the mighty Mississip. That's right, the old
miss the old man.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
You know. Josh was telling me a story about his
father and would you care to share that with everyone listening? Josh, Oh.

Speaker 12 (11:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (11:51):
After the advent of caller, I d he only did this,
I think, to people he knew, but he would answer.
He often answered the phone, yo, mama, Yo mama, every
time I called it. That's what I have.

Speaker 13 (12:05):
Hey, Happy fourth of July. It's the best of the
Bob and Tom Show. This is Christopher and here on
a Friday morning. Coming up on the show today a
lot of great comedians Henry Phillips, Greg Hahn, Christy and
Pat swap shirts, plus Joe Dombrowski, Dike Michaels and Ali Breen.
But coming up next on the show one of our faves,

(12:26):
comedian Sam Miller. It's next on the Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 14 (12:44):
He gave two thons up, like well Ebert two thoms
up an Independence Day in an accident in our backyard
fireworks display. My dad gave two thumbs up Our neighbor

(13:06):
heard the screaming and ran out to his yard and
got the finger from my dad more than one, and
gunpowder was found underneath Dad's fingernails underneath a chevro lake
parked half a mile away. My dad always had my mother,
my mother wrapped around his little fingers.

Speaker 15 (13:28):
Tell a smallle that finger and my mom landed on
the roofs.

Speaker 16 (13:33):
She got cuts and bruises and shingle out. As Dad recovered,
visitors came by. His insurance man came and went unrecognized
because to my dad, everybody looked like good hands people
he can't do. Here's the church he can't do. Here's
the steeple to a second knuckle man. I'm hoping that

(13:57):
is lunckle be better next time.

Speaker 15 (14:02):
Saye say say say fourth of July.

Speaker 6 (14:12):
This is hey, you guys, which am I? Stop snapping
your fingers?

Speaker 14 (14:20):
It makes my dad show.

Speaker 13 (14:25):
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back on
this fourth of July. This is Christopher and the Bob
and Tom Studios.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
Boy.

Speaker 13 (14:31):
One of our favorite guests has been the Big Guy
comedian Sam Miller. Here's a segment with Sam here on
the best to the Bob and Tom show.

Speaker 8 (14:38):
Now we do have a guest in the studio. I
can't but notice them because he's gigantic.

Speaker 6 (14:44):
Right the gate. Yeah, this is radio. I mean, what
are you like? Six five eight hundred?

Speaker 1 (14:49):
I mean excuse me, sorry, no, no, that's not that's mean.
Are you no? No, no, no, no you're not you're not.

Speaker 6 (14:58):
I'm Discovery Channel Big not TLC. There you go, Samueller's
are you?

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Are you three bills?

Speaker 7 (15:10):
Is that fair?

Speaker 6 (15:11):
I'm three hundred and sixty pounds.

Speaker 8 (15:12):
Three hundred and sixty pounds. Okay, so I was almost
halfway wrong.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
I don't know that.

Speaker 6 (15:16):
People look at you, Sam and go, oh, there's a
fat guy. I think they go, there's a big guy. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah,
you're fat too, And I don't but you're sure.

Speaker 8 (15:24):
Sure you look like you could be a U a
retired lineman from the NFL who owns a pizza.

Speaker 6 (15:30):
French Indeed, I'm fat.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
Compliment you monster. I always a very funny man.

Speaker 8 (15:39):
He's got tattoos and he's got a good head of hair.

Speaker 17 (15:42):
I'm just happy to be here. I don't really have
that green of a head of hair.

Speaker 6 (15:45):
I was lying.

Speaker 1 (15:48):
Well to Tom and I that's a great head of yeah,
same hair. Yeah, very good.

Speaker 8 (15:53):
Sam Miller on the road Peoria, the famous jukebox comedy club.

Speaker 6 (15:57):
We have a great time.

Speaker 17 (15:58):
You got that, and you got the museum with all
the bulldozers.

Speaker 1 (16:02):
That's at a bulldozer museum.

Speaker 6 (16:04):
Yeah, they got the caterpillar museum. Oh cool?

Speaker 1 (16:07):
Why didn't you say so?

Speaker 6 (16:10):
And you got to go now to see the caterpillar
Museum because in a few months it'll be the butterfly.
Did you guys know that? Yes, I'm getting a thumbs
down from Chick McGee.

Speaker 1 (16:19):
I no, I think I think that should be your closer,
so goodbye. Well that's a far different opinion. During the setup,
I understood what you were going for. I smiled immediately.
I loved where it was going. Yeah, we all saw
it coming. I'm with Willy, though, I saw it coming

(16:41):
about why didn't I think of that?

Speaker 6 (16:43):
That's so so clever.

Speaker 1 (16:47):
It's a great joke, very kind. There's probably a sign
in the lobby of that place. I'll tell you this.
Weeks before we become what I told the joke, I
didn't expect this much analysis. I kind of hoped it
would just go.

Speaker 6 (17:02):
That's your mistake. Should have known that, he was gonna
do this.

Speaker 1 (17:07):
He's still doing it.

Speaker 6 (17:08):
Back to Tom.

Speaker 8 (17:09):
Okay, And so I walked in the room. I was late,
once again getting in here for some reason. Occasionally I'll
be late during the breaks. Usually I'm having some high
level conference.

Speaker 6 (17:17):
With and Uh.

Speaker 8 (17:21):
I walk in the room and I hear Sam talking,
and he says, all I heard was the phrase I
think we're gonna share a seapap machine. Now, all I
know about the seatpath machine is mister Godwin has to
use one. This is that aqua long thing you breathe
at night or something?

Speaker 6 (17:36):
Yeah? Yeah, sleep okay, Now you have one of those?
Oh yeah, and you take it on the road. Yeah
I do.

Speaker 17 (17:41):
I hate it, and but I can't now If I
don't use it, I wake up with a sore throat
because I'm not used to snoring. Yeah, so I'm kind
of like I've kind of built my own prison.

Speaker 6 (17:55):
Yeah, I sleep great.

Speaker 1 (17:56):
I'm not how big? This is like the size of
like a football?

Speaker 17 (18:00):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I thought you were gonna make a
joke about how I needed a giant sleep.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
What do you use for even a vacuum? Missund I
envisioned it as making like a whack and a whack
and a whack and a whack and a whack at
a sound.

Speaker 6 (18:14):
It's pretty quiet.

Speaker 17 (18:16):
Sometimes it slips off and it kind of squeaks, and
I'll be like, we and I'm not a fan of that.

Speaker 6 (18:23):
I can tell you this. We weren't a fan of it.

Speaker 9 (18:25):
Just did.

Speaker 6 (18:28):
I can't imagine the real thing. My god, I am.

Speaker 17 (18:31):
My wife was talking about my snoring for a long
time and yeah, I went in. I don't know if
I've ever talked about this on here, but I had like, uh,
thirty minutes. I stopped breathing twenty four times, and that's
what the lady told me. But it's funny because I
felt like I was being attacked, so I threw it
back at her. I was like, I started breathing twenty
four times too.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
That's so this is. Oh, you had one of those
sleep tests. Yeah, yeah, Do you do that at your
house or do they you have to know?

Speaker 17 (18:58):
Man, I didn't in home one and they were like, yeah,
you got sleep apne And it's like, well duh, Like
I my wife's like, you stop breathing all the time,
and I'm like, so I knew I had sleep apney.
I take a sleep apney test at home, They're like,
you got sleep apne. I take the sleep apnea test
to the doctor and they're like, you need to go
see a sleep specialist. I'm like all right, and then
they're like you got sleep apnea. I'm like thanks, yeah,

(19:19):
yeah my third time.

Speaker 8 (19:21):
So now does this thing strapped to your face?

Speaker 6 (19:24):
It does?

Speaker 17 (19:25):
I'm not a fan of how it feels, but I
fall asleep so quick now because I have a clue.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
How along as the hose, I don't know?

Speaker 17 (19:33):
Can you over Oh yeah yeah, I could wrap it
around my neck if I wanted.

Speaker 1 (19:41):
So dark trouble with a life. So one day, does
your you ever wake up and your wife's got her
feet on your chest and she's pulling on the cord.

Speaker 6 (19:57):
Yeah, like sending me down?

Speaker 17 (19:58):
Yeah no, no, no, she's she's a bigger fan of the
sea pap then I am. And also the first time
I got it to work, I woke up and I
was like, oh yeah, like I remember this, Like I
just woke up and I was like, I'm okay, Wow,
you get used to waking up tired.

Speaker 6 (20:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (20:19):
Oh it's nice. I bet it's working out for d Yes,
maybe you can get an endorsement.

Speaker 6 (20:23):
I could what's company?

Speaker 17 (20:25):
I don't know, then maybe they should talk to me
and say it on air.

Speaker 6 (20:31):
You're paid.

Speaker 1 (20:33):
God was trying to get a free new one. What's
it called Phillips? You probably have the Phillips.

Speaker 10 (20:37):
But do they offer you different brands or do they
just give you one?

Speaker 6 (20:41):
Well, the insurance paid for my Phillips. Insurance paid insurance
paid for mine. I got the flat head. I can
lap on that one. He is the king of comedy.
That's not true right now. If you're just joining us,
thank you very much. You've missed a lot.

Speaker 1 (21:02):
As a matter of fact, we don't know if it's
if it's time yet, oh Sam, Sam Miller.

Speaker 6 (21:07):
We've been waiting all morning to find out when exactly
is it time to rock? And we have the rock
clock here with us. Is it is it time to rock? No? Oh, okay,
all right, no time to rock.

Speaker 1 (21:19):
That was not according to the rock.

Speaker 6 (21:22):
Once again, Well you are out of your element.

Speaker 1 (21:24):
Pal.

Speaker 8 (21:26):
Welcome, Welcome back to the Bob and Tom program. Now
let's meet our guest once again. He is comedian Sam Miller.
Sam is a large fellow. How tall are you six
six six six? And how much you went?

Speaker 18 (21:39):
Three hundred and sixty pass no, no, let me, Yeah,
you carry it? Well. Yeah, I love being big. Sometimes.
I like it when old ladies asked me for help
and grocery stores, Oh oh yeah, yeah, because it's really
easy and they're so happy, like yeah, I was like
I was already up here.

Speaker 6 (21:55):
I'm one of those ladies.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (21:57):
I love that you're on the road.

Speaker 8 (21:58):
Any unusual gigs since we last saw you, Any unusual
spots for you?

Speaker 17 (22:02):
So you guys know my history with recovery. I've been
cleaning sober sixteen years, got in a lot of trouble.

Speaker 8 (22:07):
I have forgot what what was your drink of choice?

Speaker 17 (22:09):
The math? Of course, I've been doing comedy in a
lot of prisons. So I've done four prison shows. Wow,
it's been good for the most part. Uh, there was
a weird one. So usually when I perform in prisons,
it's for folks that are short timers. They're doing less
than a year left on their sentence. I did one
for life sentence. Folks aren't getting out way different vibe.

(22:33):
And I was incarcerated back in the day, so I
know the score. Anyway, I did this show at this prison,
and I don't want to say what prison it is.
You know, I don't want to get in trouble, but
I do this show with this prison. It's going really well.
So my material, a lot of my material is about criminality, incarceration.
They don't like those jokes, but what they love is
my jokes about big women. That's what unites the inmates

(22:57):
of America for big money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I learned that.
But anyway, there was a guy in the back. Okay,
I've never told this story before, but there's a guy
in the back who is being weird. All the other
inmates are having a good time after the show. I'm
hanging out, We're being friendly.

Speaker 6 (23:14):
It's nice. This guy comes up to me and he goes, hey,
and I was like, you talk weird, you know.

Speaker 17 (23:20):
He goes, I really liked your jokes and I was
like thanks, man, and he goes, do you know who
I am?

Speaker 6 (23:26):
And I was like, no, hmm. He goes, I'm a
bit of a celebrity myself.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Is that right?

Speaker 17 (23:32):
And my heart like started to drop And then he
just straight up told me. He goes, I was a
serial killer.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
Whoa wow.

Speaker 17 (23:41):
And I found out who it was after the fact
and all this stuff, but in that moment, like I
love like Silence of the Lambs, Minehunter, all these like
serial killer shows. In that moment, I was like, never again,
never again. I'm done with all that. But here's the thing, though,
i am in a conversation with this dude and I'm
thinking about, like this is like the most awful of
all human beings in front of me, right, But I'm

(24:03):
in a conversation with him, and he told me that
goes I was a serial killer. And I looked at
him and I was like, looks like you're doing a
lot better now, Yeah, what do.

Speaker 3 (24:14):
You say, exactly.

Speaker 6 (24:17):
Done that going?

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Yeah? Did you look him up afterwards?

Speaker 17 (24:25):
I did? And it sucks. And the reason why I did,
and it sucks, he sucks. Yeah, you know, I, like
I said, I know some guys that are heavy.

Speaker 6 (24:37):
I've done some stuff that I'm pretty ashamed of.

Speaker 17 (24:39):
I was ever like violent, violent, right, Like I gotten
some fights and stuff like that. But that's different. And
it was funny because even the other inmates they're not
messing with that dude, like because he's weirdough, like he's
off brand.

Speaker 6 (24:49):
You know, So, did you say watch joke of mine
was your favorite?

Speaker 17 (24:53):
You know, this is the thing about it right. Like
I said, none of the other inmates were hanging out
with him. He was in the corner by himself the
whole show. He didn't laugh at anything, smiled at me
the whole time.

Speaker 1 (25:07):
Because that's exactly the way I think.

Speaker 17 (25:10):
Yeah, because I think the whole time he was waiting
to walk up to me and tell me that man.
And that's the reason I don't tell people who he was,
because he can.

Speaker 6 (25:23):
He can kick rocks. He's not on Bob and Tom.

Speaker 17 (25:25):
I am, oh yeah, no, yeah, yeah, you know like
I'm not I'm not gonna like, I'm not going.

Speaker 6 (25:30):
To get this guy. I pressed.

Speaker 8 (25:31):
Yeah, we had a very similar experience. We played softball
against the hardcore women's prison. We did it on the air.

Speaker 6 (25:41):
Oh that's awesome. And do you remember what happened before
he got hit on by Eileen waarenose didn't you boy?

Speaker 1 (25:51):
What a crab?

Speaker 8 (25:52):
But it was very similar experience. One of the one
of the ladies it turned out, was part of a
famous and uh and I had I had hurt when
they came up.

Speaker 6 (26:04):
You know who this is? No and the same deal
and it's that's very creepy.

Speaker 17 (26:07):
Yeah, and I think it really bummed me out because
I love performing in prisons, like yeah, yeah, it's it's
it's wonderful to me. I recently did a Valentine's Day
thing and it was inmates that had their wife's there
and I had been in that prison before and introducing
me to their wives and like, it's the coolest vibe.

Speaker 6 (26:27):
Yeah, it's amazing. Was it conjugal day or something?

Speaker 1 (26:30):
They know?

Speaker 17 (26:31):
It's just like they have because these are all like
this is like these are mostly like drug offenders, like
pretty minor.

Speaker 6 (26:36):
Oh so they're on their way out. Yeah.

Speaker 17 (26:38):
This wasn't the place with the icy with the serial killer. Yeah,
with the serial killer.

Speaker 6 (26:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 17 (26:43):
And you know what's weird is I hesitate to even
tell that story because I don't want people because it's
not really like that. That was a one time. Oh god, no,
I'm gonna do it even more. I love performing in prisons.
And also the cool thing is is you can perform
in the afternoon because they're there. They're there, Oh yeah, yeah,
you don't have to wait for people to get off
of work.

Speaker 8 (27:03):
They were giving me the light then suddenly it dimmed.
That's the last time I do a midnight show. We
are joined by comedian Sam Miller. Hey, a guy from
the Great Northwest Olympia, Washington. Where'd you go to high school?

(27:24):
A couple a couple of places. You were the Fighting Wats, we.

Speaker 17 (27:30):
Were the Trailblazers. Yeah, and I don't remember the other mascots.
I don't remember high school that much at all.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Really.

Speaker 17 (27:37):
I got my GED Okay, yeah, I got expelled. But
here's the thing. I'm one of fifty notable alumni from
they had a fiftieth anniversary. I won a fifty notable
alumni thing from Timberline High School.

Speaker 1 (27:50):
The school that expelled expelled you.

Speaker 17 (27:51):
Yeah, so there's three people that won that dropped out
and I am the only one who got expelled and
one that thing they like, it's a comeback story.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
It is a comeback. I have a quiet, quick question.

Speaker 8 (28:04):
What are the reunions like for your GED class?

Speaker 17 (28:08):
I have not been invited. I think I think we
had those in jail. Actually where those are?

Speaker 8 (28:14):
Sam Miller is our guest. Recently did a bunch of
gigs in prisons. Kind of nice of you to entertain
the folks. Have you strictly done the men's prisons.

Speaker 17 (28:24):
Or I haven't done a women's prison I'm sure that's
coming up. Uh, there are those, you know. It's one
of those things where like you start you work one prison,
before you know it, they're all reaching out. Yeah yeah,
because it's the you know, the other Department of Corrections.
They run the prisons, and I've done that.

Speaker 6 (28:39):
One intent they do not a lot.

Speaker 17 (28:42):
It depends, you know, it depends a lot of times,
like it's outside funding that allows it to happen. The
show I did in some of the prisons were sponsored
by colleges and stuff like law departments.

Speaker 6 (28:54):
And oh interesting. Would you ever do an album like
Johnny Cash? You know, I think that's just been done
a lot. I'm into it. Yeah, like his name.

Speaker 17 (29:04):
He did the crowd Work special at the prison. And
I would actually my idea, which kind of a wild
card move, would be I would like to go into
a prison and do like a stand up comedy workshop
and teach inmates how to do comedy and then.

Speaker 10 (29:17):
Release that and then do like an open mic night.

Speaker 1 (29:19):
And that's a great idea.

Speaker 6 (29:20):
Sam.

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Yeah, yeah, Actually mea play prison a few years ago.

Speaker 6 (29:24):
Is in the news today.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Well then we can we can make a good segue
there before we get back to Sam.

Speaker 6 (29:29):
Oh, what's Cadallica doing now?

Speaker 10 (29:31):
They're bringing their performance from Mexico City straight to viewers' faces.
Thanks to Apple vision Pro, metallica show is going to
be delivered in an immersive concert experience on VA and
VR headsets Friday, March fourteenth. Filmed during the sold out
finale of their m seventy two world tour last year.
You will have a one to eighty degree high definition

(29:52):
viewing experience and immersive spatial audio. The concert experience features
the band's icon of care, It's of course, Whiplash one
and Enter Sandman. Apple built a custom stage layout featuring
fourteen of their immersive video cameras, including some that moved
around the stage. If you do not own one of

(30:13):
the thirty five hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (30:14):
Headsets, which is all Metallica fans, yeah, you could book.

Speaker 10 (30:19):
You can book a vision Pro demo to experience Metallica's
performance at your local Apples.

Speaker 8 (30:23):
So I did read about this. I mean it's so authentic.
You put the headset on and the show starts forty
five minutes late, and you have to go buy a
one hundred and fifty dollars.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
T shirt and a twenty dollars coke. Very realistic. I
think they cocled me more than that.

Speaker 6 (30:40):
Who's going to pour beer on me? Are you a fan? Josh?
Did you like the Metallica?

Speaker 1 (30:47):
Yeah? I do.

Speaker 6 (30:48):
I do, Sammy, I'm on the fence.

Speaker 17 (30:52):
I was just remembering when you were reading that story though,
that when I was in jail, there was somebody had
done graffiti and wrote Metallica, but they spelled it wrong.

Speaker 1 (31:02):
It's like, I'm gonna stop getting lot. I need time
to rock.

Speaker 6 (31:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (31:18):
I like their Unplugged album.

Speaker 6 (31:22):
It's like I've been tortured. What's going on?

Speaker 1 (31:24):
Was it good stuff to people? Love it?

Speaker 8 (31:27):
People are drunk.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
Now, let's talk to Sam.

Speaker 6 (31:30):
Sam.

Speaker 8 (31:30):
You mentioned that the fellas in the prisons they loved
your jokes about the big girls. Oh yeah, you are
a big fellow.

Speaker 6 (31:36):
I am.

Speaker 8 (31:37):
You're like six five sixty six, three hundred something big man,
not fat, just big. This is maybe too personally as
your wife a woman of.

Speaker 17 (31:46):
Size she is, and uh, I have no problem talking
about that. And I love other big women too. I
am a faithful fella, but it's always exciting anytime I'm
touring in the Midwest. You know, I was just in
Kansas City. I am a faithful man. However, if I
wasn't high target environment, there are a lot, yeah, a

(32:09):
lot of big women. I know there's big women out here.
I know there's big people in the Midwest. I know
there are because all the toilets are loose. You know,
we all got a little rock to him. That's how
you know you're in big people country, you know that?

Speaker 1 (32:25):
Like in DJ.

Speaker 13 (32:26):
More great stuff coming up on this Friday morning. Comedian
Mark Schalafoe is coming up in just a few minutes
of stand by for that. This is the Bob and
Tom Show. We're back on this Friday morning. This is
Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios, and this is
the Bob and Tom Show. A bunch of great comedians

(32:49):
coming up later this morning. Joe Dombrowski is on the way.
Greg Han coming up to this segment is one comedian
Mark Schalafoe. In studio.

Speaker 1 (32:59):
There's Chrissy Lee and Pat Godwin, Josh Arnold, He's Cosmey,
I'm Chick McGee, and we we have a comedian in
the in the studio.

Speaker 6 (33:07):
He's been here before. Tom.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
That's right, Oh okay, all the way from I thought
you said he was.

Speaker 6 (33:12):
Brand new Montreal, Montreal from Cincinnati.

Speaker 8 (33:17):
Oh what I thought? What the French name? Mark shallafu
is here?

Speaker 6 (33:22):
Hey? Mark? Hey Mark f o u x.

Speaker 8 (33:25):
I bet you get mispronounced all the time.

Speaker 9 (33:26):
Huh.

Speaker 19 (33:27):
Yeah, it's a great name to have in show business.
That's what you want as a stand up comedian. A
name that everyone's confused by and can't remember after a show.
That's that's really essential. I should have changed it like
six years in, but now it's too late.

Speaker 6 (33:41):
So here we are.

Speaker 1 (33:42):
Mark's good to see you, Mark.

Speaker 6 (33:43):
Yeah, it's good to be here.

Speaker 1 (33:44):
Handsome young guy, married, single and populated. What's happening with you?

Speaker 19 (33:49):
I am married, We've got kids. Well, I will say
that I never realized how much I wanted to have
two kids until I had three kids.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
I've learned that you should have asked me when you
when they outnumber their parents, there's trouble.

Speaker 12 (34:03):
Yeah.

Speaker 19 (34:03):
I thought we could handle it. We cannot. But you
know we're making a go of it. All daughters too,
so that's another.

Speaker 8 (34:14):
We don't want to hang us in Nike yet. I
have four of them. How old are your daughters?

Speaker 6 (34:19):
We have eleven, nine and five.

Speaker 8 (34:22):
I've got a twelve and in a.

Speaker 6 (34:26):
Eight nine, Sorry, twelve and nine.

Speaker 19 (34:28):
You have to start remembering dates and math and stuff.
The ages, it's like, you know, you get the big one.
Sixteen is a big one. You'll remember that. But the
rest of them, it doesn't really matter, you know, it's
it's just a ballpark.

Speaker 10 (34:39):
Figure matters to them though, doesn't it.

Speaker 6 (34:42):
Yeah, kids love the I mean half ages and all
that stuff. Oh yeah, the half birthday.

Speaker 19 (34:47):
Yeah, that's big. The half birthday. It's just another excuse
for a present.

Speaker 1 (34:52):
I see, I looked at it differently.

Speaker 8 (34:53):
The half birthday to me is another excuse for cake,
and I'm a big cake fan.

Speaker 19 (34:57):
Then you got to get into the quarter birthdays, you know,
Oh they know it's cake all the time.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (35:02):
My birthday is my daughter, Finn's quarter birthday.

Speaker 10 (35:05):
Okay, so you celebrate that. Well, of course it's your birthday.

Speaker 6 (35:08):
You have to have two cakes. Of course you have
to have two cakes for her quarter birthday.

Speaker 1 (35:12):
That's what kind of case she wants to give it?
Something kind I want we're getting another cake, Okay, don't
be ridiculous. Well, congratulations on the three girls. That's neat,
thank you. Yeah, it's been fun. It's been fun. No,
I can I can do an interesting segue here? I said,
all your you.

Speaker 6 (35:28):
Do?

Speaker 8 (35:28):
Is it okay? If I ask you the names of
your children? Is that private information? You're more than welcome
to not answer.

Speaker 1 (35:32):
No.

Speaker 19 (35:32):
Yeah, you can totally ask their names and what are
their names? We have Madison's the oldest one. She was
born in New York City on Madison Avenue. So Madison,
that was cute.

Speaker 6 (35:40):
That could have gone wrong, though it could have gone
very wrong.

Speaker 10 (35:42):
You think someone, yes, fifty seventh that is born on
Martin Luther King Boulevard.

Speaker 6 (35:49):
That's not a name for your daughter.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
And they're like, okay, it might be a little confusing.

Speaker 6 (35:54):
Yeah, happy birthday, Marty. That's kind of yeah. Yeah, I
get to see the kindergartenet you. Oh, we're kind of
surprised Martin Luther.

Speaker 19 (36:06):
It would really confuse the classmates when they learn about
that in school. Wow, we didn't know she was such
a revolutionary in our classroom arts.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
So we've got your Madison, followed.

Speaker 6 (36:15):
By Emma and then Chloe, so we've got all lovely.
We ran out of names, is what happened.

Speaker 19 (36:21):
We had like an influence from a lovable grandma figure,
then a likable aunt was Emma, and then we just
got to weird Kardashian with Chloe.

Speaker 6 (36:30):
We just ran out of options. How did you go?

Speaker 1 (36:32):
Did you go with the k or the sea?

Speaker 19 (36:33):
We went with the sea because we're not lunatics, so
they did go with the sea.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Chloe is a big girl, and she's like six feet tall.

Speaker 6 (36:40):
Okay, tall girl.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah the other ones. The other ones are kind of short.

Speaker 6 (36:44):
Yeah, very like my eye.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (36:47):
Huh and uh.

Speaker 10 (36:49):
That actually ties into what baby naming experts shared what
names they think will become popular in the next decade.

Speaker 8 (36:56):
So this is a future prediction speculation here, there we go.

Speaker 6 (37:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 10 (37:00):
Twenty seven year old Sophie Kim, an editor at named Barry.

Speaker 8 (37:04):
Said, no, wait a minute now, to stop right there.
Her name is Sophie, Sophie Kim k I h m,
and do you want to weigh in on this?

Speaker 10 (37:10):
I have a Sophie. There you go, yes, I said.
Names such as Fia and Una are gaining interest as
parents are more interested in going back to their heritage.

Speaker 6 (37:20):
Is it f I A f I A THEA.

Speaker 1 (37:23):
Help me hear what heritage is? Fia?

Speaker 6 (37:25):
I don't know? And you know why Una?

Speaker 1 (37:27):
I know Keia is Korean? Does that help?

Speaker 6 (37:36):
That is hilarious? Seriously, what is I guess we should?

Speaker 10 (37:40):
You have ever seen either of these names?

Speaker 3 (37:42):
Doesn't know?

Speaker 10 (37:43):
Vegg's got an Una done? But it's Una right?

Speaker 6 (37:46):
His daughter?

Speaker 1 (37:46):
I think Charlie Chaplin's daughter named Una, right. I think
so his wife Una chaplain?

Speaker 6 (37:52):
Oh is that O O n A?

Speaker 1 (37:53):
Maybe?

Speaker 20 (37:54):
Maybe?

Speaker 11 (37:54):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (37:54):
Yeah, I am, that's this is why Una okay, that's yeah.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
Isn't for Biggs?

Speaker 6 (38:00):
Luna?

Speaker 1 (38:02):
No?

Speaker 6 (38:02):
MIKEE?

Speaker 1 (38:02):
Biggs is Mike Mike? Okay?

Speaker 6 (38:05):
Is I could care less? You know?

Speaker 21 (38:09):
Josh right now again Josh job old Nike, Mark's got
him upside down?

Speaker 6 (38:15):
Man, Josh is the most condescending commercial the last ten years.

Speaker 8 (38:20):
Mark I was saying, I had I took notes. I
watched the super Bowl. It's also pistols. I may spend
a lot of time preparing for the show. I like
to do something we call show prep.

Speaker 1 (38:29):
But it's not nineteen eighty eight.

Speaker 6 (38:31):
And the commercials of the super Bowl really don't matter
like they used to.

Speaker 7 (38:35):
They don't.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
They're paying more for them now than they ever did.
So yeah, that's because of the prices Raise life.

Speaker 8 (38:42):
Goes on that they're paying eight momon dollars seconds. It's
kind of a cultural thing. Is like water cooler talk
the day after the super Bowl.

Speaker 6 (38:49):
Thing when you haven't.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
I'm just asking you to grow that water cooler talk
is in the ear because you drink all the water. Yeah,
I'm a healthy water drinker. I'm getting a little missedy
over here. I remember when I used to fight with.

Speaker 6 (39:06):
I was.

Speaker 8 (39:06):
I was trying to make the point that I thought
that overall, I thought the commercials were kind of He's
made for six hours this morning, I'll explain how radio works,
explained for how radio works was.

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Just going and how it used to work, and we'll
tell you how it works.

Speaker 22 (39:20):
Now.

Speaker 8 (39:21):
Okay, did you see the Nike commercial?

Speaker 19 (39:25):
Did you watch the Super Bowl? I did watch the
Super Bowl. I don't remember the Nike commercial, so that
can't be good for the nikey.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
You remember anything about any.

Speaker 19 (39:31):
Of Yeah, I remember Patrick Mahomes was not very good
in the super Bowl.

Speaker 12 (39:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 19 (39:36):
I did see Shane Gillis as commercial like that was fun,
good for Shane.

Speaker 6 (39:40):
That was the one with that was the bud Light one. Yeah, yeah,
with Peyton and the guy with the tattoos and his face.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Yeah, post malone, post Malone.

Speaker 19 (39:47):
Yeah, the big three, as they call him. Those thought
that was a great commercial.

Speaker 6 (39:51):
Yeah, it was good. It was a good show. You
remember them.

Speaker 1 (39:53):
That's the whole point.

Speaker 19 (39:54):
Exactly eight million dollars well spent right there on a
comedian at.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Least Josh, you want to pissol around one. I didn't
see that one. Okay, why don't you watch the stafferoons
or tomorrow morning and come in here and crap all over?

Speaker 6 (40:06):
Well, what's the Nike commercial? What happened with Nike? It
was at halftime and it had this cool music from
Led Zeppelin, and it was showing great women in sports,
and it was it was just kind of a I
thought it kind of a serious important thing about, you know,
keeping girls in sports and women in sports.

Speaker 1 (40:23):
I don't know if that was the message of it.

Speaker 6 (40:26):
It was just about don't quit keep doing it.

Speaker 1 (40:28):
That does seem kind of antiquated in today's world.

Speaker 6 (40:31):
Really to me was very like if I were a
female athlete, I'd go, oh, hey, thanks for the pat
on the back. I've been doing this for years. Continue
to be yeah.

Speaker 19 (40:46):
I'll say like as a as a youth sports coach,
I coach a lot of girls soccer teams, and I
think there are some girls that probably shouldn't be involved
in athletics. If we're going back to the district tournament,
there's a couple that I would rather not see the commercial.

Speaker 6 (41:00):
And by the way, I was in youth sports and
I didn't belong. There are plenty of dudes as well. Yes,
but yeah, okay, it was condescending, is what it was.

Speaker 8 (41:10):
Let's get back to our guest, Mark schall a fool
shall a fool lla fool a fool?

Speaker 1 (41:15):
Yeah, phone not fool.

Speaker 6 (41:17):
Okay, good, I got I got it right.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
So you're married, obviously, Yes, I was there going well.

Speaker 6 (41:22):
It is, I mean it is.

Speaker 19 (41:24):
I guess you know it's going as well as it
can we have. Well, I am spending this Valentine's Day
week in comedy clubs, so it's going about that.

Speaker 6 (41:33):
Well.

Speaker 19 (41:35):
Last year I did try and go all out on
Valentine's Day. We got a babysitter and I gave her, like,
you know, I wanted to show all my appreciation, told
her how much I loved her in this nice card.
I told her, you know, I hope that I died
first and all this kind of sucks. I couldn't live
without her and all she said in reply to that was, well,
that would just be easier on the kids. Oh so

(41:57):
we're gonna do Valentine's Day a little bit differently this year.
Coming up next hour here on The Bob and Tom Show,
comedians Dyke, Michaels, and Ali Breen with Sexy Time. But
next comedian Tommy Brennan in studio. Don't want to miss it.

Speaker 13 (42:13):
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back in
happy fourth of July. This is Christopher and the Bob
and Tom Studios and the best of the Bob and
Tom Show. Comedian Tommy Brennan paid a visit recently. Tom's
here and with our special guests. I just noticed something.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
All right, Uh, this room is as colorful as it's
been in ages. That's because you don't like color. Well,
that came off from.

Speaker 22 (42:49):
That was.

Speaker 6 (42:51):
The truest thing I've said.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Fifty three checks out for sure. Sorry, you like blacks
and grays and brown and SETI but you go around.

Speaker 8 (43:02):
I've got like on a black, black and dark blue aces,
wearing all black.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
You're wearing gray and black.

Speaker 8 (43:07):
Then we get to guest comedian Tommy Brennan, that jacket
like yellow red blue. Yeah, that you look like you're
going sailing in nineteen eighty one.

Speaker 23 (43:18):
I'm starting to think I've got some attention seeking behavior.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Peacocking over there maybe Yeah.

Speaker 8 (43:25):
And then Willie's got a swath of yellow and green.

Speaker 6 (43:28):
And then if you.

Speaker 24 (43:29):
Want advice about attention seeking behavior, my therapist is great.

Speaker 6 (43:32):
Yeah, you can really help you, incredible. Ms.

Speaker 8 (43:34):
Hooker's got kind of a blue, Yeah, lovely sky blue.
And then and then Josh has on a red check planel.

Speaker 1 (43:42):
Yeah, Josh is real dumb, Josh, I don't think it's
some I think you're handsome. And I'm telling you this.

Speaker 22 (43:50):
With that flannel and that mustache, there are certain parts
of both both females but also within the gay community.

Speaker 1 (43:56):
I think you would just be cleaning up.

Speaker 24 (43:58):
Oh yeah, thanks, Yeah, the very end of the firefighter type,
the bear type, looking very strong the bear time.

Speaker 11 (44:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
I always find it very flattering when I'm hit on
by a gay dude.

Speaker 6 (44:09):
Absolutely.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (44:10):
Yeah, I'm not one too. I'm not gay, so I
don't accept, you know, any offers, but I certainly am
flattered every time.

Speaker 3 (44:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
What about the next morning when you wake up there
continue to say, remember I'm not Yeah, I really enjoy
and thank you, and thank you, and thank you for
the Okay, a great pizza place I have. I have
a couple of letters here a sound system. We had

(44:40):
the news story about the world record in which the
guy was put in a straight jacket, and he just
our letter writer has some point. We don't have to
see the video.

Speaker 6 (44:50):
I just think we do.

Speaker 7 (44:51):
I love the video.

Speaker 6 (44:52):
It's the best part of.

Speaker 1 (44:53):
The guy's in this like wooden phone booth like thing.
He's in a race track. He's trying to get out
of a get a straight jacket in the box, trying
to get out of everything.

Speaker 8 (45:00):
Guy's driving at him in a BMW and he gets
out at the last second, jumps to the side and
the thing explodes.

Speaker 1 (45:07):
But you'll notice that.

Speaker 8 (45:11):
Our letter writer, dear Bob and Tom, I noticed that
he's wearing a white straight jacket. I've noticed this. Straight
jackets are always white. How do you stay in fashion
after a labor day?

Speaker 1 (45:22):
That is a good question, that's a fair question.

Speaker 6 (45:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
In the old booby hatch, Yeah, in the old nut house.
I'm sorry, old crazy acres.

Speaker 6 (45:30):
Sometimes you've seen them, especially in like like Arkham Asylum.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
I think he's the last ripe straight I believe scarecrow
striped straight jacket.

Speaker 8 (45:41):
And then this letter references the story about the woman
whose actual name is Soon Bang s O O n
and the new word b A N G and miss
Bang charged with operating a brothel in New Jersey, and
our letter says she obviously has the slogan and you
get the most bang for your buck, which I think

(46:03):
is lovely. Thank you very much. But right now is
time to speaking of objects in the body. We have
this delightful story.

Speaker 1 (46:09):
All right.

Speaker 25 (46:10):
A man in Vietnam is lucky to be alive after
a live eel he inserted into his anus punctured his colon.

Speaker 6 (46:18):
Wow, it did what to his colon? Punctured punctured?

Speaker 1 (46:22):
So I'm assuming it means.

Speaker 25 (46:23):
It bit Well, we'll get there. The Straits Times reports
that the thirty one year old Indian national was hospitalized
last month for severe abdominal pain. Doctors learned that the
man had inserted a large eel into his anus.

Speaker 1 (46:41):
You know, he tried the I don't know what it is, doc, Oh,
you know what it might be that eel I shoved.

Speaker 6 (46:48):
I'll be honest, I'm not going to judge a man
who puts an eel in his anus. All right, that's
a more.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Thank you, thank you very much, worry babe, delightful, delightful.

Speaker 25 (47:06):
During emergency surgery, they discovered the nearly twenty six inch
long eel.

Speaker 6 (47:11):
Oh that's big.

Speaker 1 (47:14):
You know, I think we found your answer, sir. Yeah,
do you remember putting an eel in your rest? Do
you remember? It's about to get worse.

Speaker 25 (47:22):
They discovered that the eel had bitten through the patient's
rectum and colon to escape into the abdominal cavity.

Speaker 1 (47:29):
Oh, I would imagine that the eel doesn't care for
this once ounts.

Speaker 25 (47:36):
But after removing the eel, the doctors also extracted a
lemon through the anus.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
A garnish of got.

Speaker 14 (47:48):
Have eel, you know you gotta a lemon?

Speaker 6 (47:51):
Your thoughts on this, I'm wondering, is this the lemon?
Was that like bait for the eel?

Speaker 1 (47:56):
Right?

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Right?

Speaker 26 (47:57):
True?

Speaker 25 (47:57):
It was not clear how and when the lemon had
been inserted into the man's wreck.

Speaker 8 (48:02):
Maybe a lead blocker, you know, maybe he put the
maybe he put the heel and he would he.

Speaker 6 (48:09):
No, he went to lemon and then he sent the
heel in to get the lamb. Yeah, well, well, I
think I think Tommy's onto something here. You put the
lemon in to keep things open. Because heel won't want
to won't try to get in. You have to slide
it in.

Speaker 23 (48:23):
It's kind of like you know when Sloth and the
Goonies holds the boulder up so that everyone get through
the same thing.

Speaker 6 (48:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (48:36):
Shove him back there?

Speaker 6 (48:37):
Yeah, yeah, glad he didn't wake up this morning thinking,
you know something, I think two beers and an eel
and a lemon.

Speaker 1 (48:46):
It is Friday.

Speaker 6 (48:48):
I hate when they use teeth, you know.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
Yeah, if it's a lemon, we're gonna have to get
a shandy. I would think summer shandy, right right and cool? Okay,
hours before five?

Speaker 8 (48:59):
Yes, Caesar for shandy. Our guest, Willie g.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
Pat Do you have a song about the eel?

Speaker 6 (49:05):
You do?

Speaker 20 (49:05):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (49:05):
We could do something like that.

Speaker 6 (49:06):
I think, Yeah, I think he does.

Speaker 20 (49:08):
Yeah.

Speaker 27 (49:09):
Like to know we well you got They like to
know where you got the.

Speaker 28 (49:16):
Moury healing the butt o.

Speaker 29 (49:24):
Baby, Thank you very much everybody.

Speaker 1 (49:31):
Again we're carrying him out on our shoulder. Uh, no verse,
we talked about no verse. He was squirm again.

Speaker 8 (49:42):
Okay, let's find out more about our guest Tommy and Tommy.
Your huge family, eight kids.

Speaker 6 (49:47):
Right, big family? Yeah?

Speaker 8 (49:49):
Uh would your parents, uh, interesting jobs of any kind?

Speaker 23 (49:52):
Mom, mom's stay at home mom. Dad's a doctor. Oh
kind of fun. Yeah, because I don't have health insurance.
So that's a good it's a good relationship. He's like,
I don't believe in your career. I'm like me too,
right right back at you. Uh it was, uh yeah,
my dad's a doctor. We we Everything was at home
for us. You know, if you have like, if you
know medical people, they don't really believe in healthcare. So

(50:15):
everything was at home. The operations, stitches. I got stitches
two times on our kitchen table. That's not that's gotta
be malpractice. That wasn't sterile. My dad would clear off
the mail and be like, get up there. It's also
I was conceived, but I hard.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
You know.

Speaker 23 (50:34):
Yeah, yeah it was. It was a fun time. Never
went to a doctor. Still don't really know how to
behave when I go. It's like a stranger. Sure, he's like,
do you smoke? I'm like, are you gonna tell mom?

Speaker 6 (50:45):
I'm scared? You know, that's that's that is very awkward. Yeah, yeah,
my dad and I we're We're good.

Speaker 23 (50:54):
It's uh, you know, I still use them for like
medical care though, but it's just it's a weird. That's
a weird relationship to have with your primary care position.
He'll tell me to drink lass. I'm like, you got
a hug more, let's treat the root cause not a symptom.

Speaker 8 (51:14):
And by the way, I'm just a little word of warning.
You're getting to the age where.

Speaker 23 (51:19):
I know I got to get a new one before then. Yeah,
maybe I'm gonna send an eel up there.

Speaker 8 (51:23):
Yeah, maybe time That is an awkward day, especially if
it begins with what your mom's name?

Speaker 6 (51:30):
Aaron?

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Hey, Aaron, I'm not a glove. You got those ones
you use in the Dishwalker.

Speaker 8 (51:37):
I'd wash the table off real quick if I were.
Last week, this show emanated from Iowa. We had a
great time. We also sold a bunch of shirts, and
we're going to give the money to the Stead Family
Children's Hospital. I think we're gonna have a number on that.
I guess by Monday. I know it's approaching nine thousand dollars,
is that right?

Speaker 6 (51:58):
Ten thousand? Oh cool?

Speaker 8 (51:59):
Well, great, we're gonna be doing a new shirt. We
got a couple of visits coming in honor of the
baseball season. We're gonna be visiting uh.

Speaker 6 (52:06):
Cincinnati and Toledo, Ohio, and we will have some very
special shirts and again once again donating the money to
a children's hospital in those towns. So we'll be letting
you know about all that coming up. Have you ever
been to Iowa, by the way, Tommy, I have, Yeah.

Speaker 23 (52:22):
I last time I was in Iowa, I really embarrassed myself.
Oh I uh, we were we were doing a show,
and uh, I don't know. I got some like road
road jokes that like a plug and play. I almost
said it, yeah.

Speaker 11 (52:35):
I was like.

Speaker 1 (52:37):
The stories would be rare.

Speaker 23 (52:43):
No, I uh, you know, yeah, I got like some
plug and play jokes where you make fun of the
town nearby, and you know, and I asked, I was
in Dubuque, and I asked for a town to make
fun of, and and this this bartender said, Waterloose. I
get on stage and I take four or five swings
at Waterloo really by yeah, like missing big can't figure
it out. And then I get off stage and my

(53:05):
buddy Tim Smith, who is headlining, he stops me on
the way off stage. He goes, hey, Waterloo is the
only historically black town in Iowa.

Speaker 1 (53:14):
Crazy, So the.

Speaker 23 (53:15):
Bartender completely screwed me over. I was up there looking
so racist. I was saying stuff like, go back to Waterloo.
If I wanted to dive an overdose, I'd move to Waterloo,
all this crazy stuff. And she didn't get what I
was going for. She was black and from Waterloo, and
I was like, you see what I look like. You

(53:38):
can't tell me that.

Speaker 7 (53:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (53:40):
It was Yeah, that was the nightmare. I haven't been
back to Iowa since.

Speaker 13 (53:45):
Coming up next on The Bob and Tom Show on
this Friday morning, it'll be sexy time with Ali Breen
here on the Bob and Tom Showdoor Productions presents.

Speaker 20 (54:02):
Fireworks, Safety and You. Fourth of July. Fireworks are fun
for the whole family, but caution must be exercised to
keep the holiday celebration a safe one. That's why, unparalleled
in design and function, the patented, one of a kind
Furdler five thousand fire Defeater is on sale today in

(54:27):
Aisle five at Furdler's Hardware. Should you find yourself surrounded
or engulfed in flames and a fire defeater is not
at hand, following these steps might save your life. Here's
Brittany having fun at the annual neighborhood Fourth of July
street fireworks display, not knowing that danger lurks around every inch.

Speaker 1 (54:48):
Of this cul de sac.

Speaker 20 (54:50):
Careful, Brittany, that lit Roman candle in the tipped over
coke bottle is aiming right at you and your highly
flammable tight white T shirt and shorts. Luckily, Matt knows
that dowsing oneself with water is a good idea in
fire prevention. Matt has the top of the line Furgler
flexible nine fifty foot hose. Look, Britney's got the right

(55:15):
idea doing it herself, making sure that the highly flammable
front part of her shirt gets the wettest and the
colder the water the better. Matt suggests that Brittany get
on top of the nearest car hood. Maybe dancing would help.
Maybe to something from white Snake. While a garden os

(55:39):
is a good start, an even safer method is to
get into the nearest shower in someone's home in order
to completely douse potential flames, or to prevent the flames
laying still dormant from spreading. Always thinking of others, neighbor
Jason yells out, I have a show. I have a shower.

(56:01):
I have a hey, I have a shower. Okay, good work, Jason.
Now that's being a real team player. Here we see
Brittany soaking herself in the shower with flowing, warm, caressing water.
Everyone knows that shower fire prevention is best accomplished with teamwork.

(56:21):
And in the nude. Here's Amber just in time to
help both of them. Oh fire hate soapy, lathered up
PREMI soft pulsating skin. That's it, girls get every square inch.
That's that said. By secretly videotaping this exercise, Jason knows

(56:47):
the girls would give a realistic, uninhibited performance for online
purchasers of this all important fireworks safety video. This concludes
firework safety and you now change the real for part
two and thank you.

Speaker 13 (57:06):
Welcome back and happy fourth of July. This is Christopher
and the Bob and Tom Studios. This is the Bob
and Tom Show. The gang is back in here live
on Monday morning. Right now, it's sexy time with Ali.

Speaker 6 (57:18):
Breen, Josh Arnold and Tom. We may or may not
get hooked up eventually with Ali Breen. We're waiting to
hear regards in regards to.

Speaker 8 (57:25):
Well, I have an important letter here. I'll talk to
you Jess Nica. Yes, now the I ran this by
the other Jess and she didn't get it, didn't understand it.
Josh doesn't think it's interesting. I found it absolutely fascinating.
Our guest yesterday, Dike Sanders.

Speaker 6 (57:46):
Michael Michaels. Sorry, Harry Sanders.

Speaker 8 (57:51):
Dike Michaels. He was really funny. I really liked him.
I'm kidding. He's such a nice guy. But he made
this observation. I just thought it was so interesting because
I've lived my whole life and this happened to me,
and I never thought about it until just now when
he mentioned it. And it is the following that when
he was a kid, if he had to throw up,

(58:14):
his family they would they would give him the same
bowl that you get popcorn in. In my case, it
was the stainless steel bowl, and that was Hey, are
your feelings that quick? And you'd grab the popcorn bowl,
which was the experience of almost all of us apparently not.

Speaker 30 (58:29):
You know, no, here's a trash can, really and it
might be the trash can full of like nasty stuff
which doesn't help.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Does help? Okay?

Speaker 8 (58:38):
Now Gregory kind enough to write he had a somewhat
dissimilar experience. Our son woke up in the middle of
the night saying he had to puke.

Speaker 6 (58:54):
It was dark.

Speaker 8 (58:55):
My wife ran into the kitchen grabbed the first thing
she came to after vomiting. We turned on the lights.
She had grabbed a colander. Oh the good news, The
good news.

Speaker 1 (59:10):
No chunks made it onto the ball.

Speaker 8 (59:15):
Oh well, at least edited out the chunks. Always always
a bright side. Okay, let's hook up the satellite and
go to New York City, where we have the lovely
Ali Breen and Hi Ali.

Speaker 1 (59:31):
How are you today?

Speaker 3 (59:32):
Good?

Speaker 7 (59:32):
How are you guys?

Speaker 6 (59:33):
Good night?

Speaker 3 (59:34):
Doing well?

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Got your big glasses on. I'm just getting used to them.
Oh yeah, me too.

Speaker 8 (59:38):
Okay, great they do. They do look very very nice.
And the name of the show is Sexy Time, and
it's all about trying to help people with their love
lives and their pursuits, et cetera, et cetera. Let's just
get right to our letters.

Speaker 6 (59:52):
What have you got, dear Alie.

Speaker 26 (59:54):
I just found an air tag in my car dashboard
and I asked my girlfriend if she put it there,
and she said yes, just in case the car ever
gets towed or stolen, so we know where it is.
But she never told me she was doing that, so
I feel like she was actually checking up on me.
It makes a noise every time I get in the car.
But if I didn't do that, I don't think she
ever would have come clean.

Speaker 7 (01:00:14):
How big of a red flag is this.

Speaker 6 (01:00:16):
Well, I don't know. I mean, it's hard to say
whether or not she's being honest. If that's not, that's legit.
But I think she should have said something.

Speaker 10 (01:00:25):
Yeah, if it were. If it were that reason, she
would have said.

Speaker 6 (01:00:28):
I mean, that's smart to do that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:29):
Yeah, it is if you're the owner of the car,
but it's just your friend.

Speaker 30 (01:00:33):
I don't ye girlfriend, Yeah, girlfriend, Yeah, owned the tag
together if that was.

Speaker 6 (01:00:39):
The case, not even owning it matter.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
Hey, by the way, I put an air tag in
your car just in case it gets stolen.

Speaker 10 (01:00:45):
And I can monitor every move.

Speaker 8 (01:00:47):
You may know exactly where you are, but there's a
thing you can do with your cell phone anyway, right.

Speaker 10 (01:00:52):
Yeah, if the person has it on, if you have
your locations on. I don't keep mine on, but if
you do, you're somebody can find.

Speaker 6 (01:00:59):
I have no idea you there're more more than well, wait, you.

Speaker 26 (01:01:01):
Can track someone else through location, Yeah, share have to
agree find Okay, Well I know people will do that
with their kids, so they don't.

Speaker 8 (01:01:10):
Yeah, yeah, I don't. You know, whatever, go ahead.

Speaker 30 (01:01:13):
Who cares if the car gets stolen. Let it get stolen,
you get a new car. Insurance covers it.

Speaker 8 (01:01:17):
No, no, no, no, no, that's the dumbest thing you've
ever said. And that's a that's.

Speaker 6 (01:01:21):
Not the dumbest. This way, we've got more time. That's
a big things, not as big as mine.

Speaker 8 (01:01:28):
I'd take it out. I think if it made a
noise every.

Speaker 10 (01:01:31):
Time, yeah, why does it make a noise?

Speaker 8 (01:01:33):
And she throws a fit? Doesn't make you probably know where's.

Speaker 7 (01:01:37):
I think it does make a noise.

Speaker 26 (01:01:38):
I know when I go on to your an air
tag it will go like it'll chirp sometimes. I don't
think it always does, but yeah it does occasionally.

Speaker 7 (01:01:47):
Really, I don't know.

Speaker 26 (01:01:48):
I think it's great though, because it's literally you can
stop someone and have plausible deniability after the fact, you like,
just protecting you No.

Speaker 8 (01:01:56):
No, but if you're gonna do you should say to
the person I'm doing it. No, but having a car
stolen I've been through that. It's no the insurance company
doesn't just hand you a new car.

Speaker 30 (01:02:06):
Well, after two weeks they won't.

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
And it's first of all, it's in my case, it
was thirty days and you don't get as nice of
a car.

Speaker 6 (01:02:13):
Well, I thought that Jess was right.

Speaker 7 (01:02:15):
I thought you got like a nicer one.

Speaker 6 (01:02:16):
You know that they the value of your car back.

Speaker 8 (01:02:20):
Yeah, great, trust me. It's a huge pain, huge pain
in the ass. So and then eventually we found that
we did find the car and had to get a
lawyer to go look at it, and it had been
smashed up and there was crap everywhere, and they didn't
prosecute the guys that stolen it. Was fun times. So
all right, let's got one to our next letter. Once again,

(01:02:41):
we're speaking with Ali Breen A L l I b
r ee N. You'll find Ali Breen on your favorite
social media platform. What else have you got?

Speaker 26 (01:02:49):
Dear Ali, My girlfriend and I just moved in together,
and she has her best friends stay over all the
time on the couch. I have to wait up for
work earlier, and I have to tiptoe through the house
to make breakfast, and and it's a real invasion on
my Space. I think she'd flip out if I did
the same, but she acts like I should just deal
with it.

Speaker 7 (01:03:06):
Is it worth fighting over.

Speaker 6 (01:03:08):
I don't necessarily agree that you. I get that you're
being very polite, but you do not have to alter
your schedule for this guest. Yeah, you make noise, man,
I mean man, I mean go over the top that
we normally do.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
But just do what you normally do.

Speaker 8 (01:03:25):
I was really hoping this letter would go a different direction, like, oh,
that would be one direction, not my scene, but uh, yeah,
I was thinking there'd be some kind of It turns
out she's much more interesting than my girl friend.

Speaker 30 (01:03:40):
And uh for the friend, Yeah, start spending the night
in the living wouldn't be too much if I asked
them to switch places.

Speaker 7 (01:03:49):
Well, you could test the waters.

Speaker 26 (01:03:50):
You could take Josh's advice, but just do that like
walk through naked, do his normal routine. Just walk around naked,
start getting ready out of the shower.

Speaker 1 (01:03:58):
That would.

Speaker 6 (01:04:00):
Yeah, you're being a very nice person. Yeah, you're being
a nice person. But a guest knows that they're.

Speaker 8 (01:04:07):
How after a certain amount of time they should realize
that this is not well sure, but but some don't. Yeah, yeah,
we've all experienced.

Speaker 6 (01:04:18):
Now you live your life, You've got to go to work.
That person gets to go back to sleep for free.

Speaker 7 (01:04:25):
At your house.

Speaker 1 (01:04:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (01:04:27):
Put your video.

Speaker 6 (01:04:28):
Games invading your space. Yeah yeah okay. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:04:31):
By the way, Ali Breen is also on only fans
al ib is where you find her.

Speaker 6 (01:04:37):
Ali.

Speaker 8 (01:04:37):
We had an interesting news story this morning. Christy was
reading it about a lady that does some very specific
weird She talked about some of the weird stuff she
does for serious money, including one guy paid was it
a couple thousand bucks to have this.

Speaker 6 (01:04:51):
Is on only fans Alie to watch her, to watch
her measure her nose for twenty minutes.

Speaker 10 (01:04:56):
Twenty minutes measuring her nose not even.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
Name wo.

Speaker 7 (01:05:00):
Not even again.

Speaker 8 (01:05:01):
Nope, she doesn't have an unusually large what's it called probiscussus?

Speaker 6 (01:05:06):
Yeah, you know, she's just a pretty lady and the
guy just wanted to know the dimensions of her nose.
Very slow. She charges for her customs. She charges seven
hundred to twenty five hundred dollars for five men.

Speaker 3 (01:05:17):
Wow.

Speaker 26 (01:05:19):
Wow, that is the amount of money you can make
on that site.

Speaker 3 (01:05:22):
Is amazing.

Speaker 26 (01:05:23):
I was reading they're trying to sell it and they're
having a hard time because of the you know, content,
which is so weird to me.

Speaker 6 (01:05:30):
Now they must make money hand over fist.

Speaker 26 (01:05:32):
I would think anyone would want to buy.

Speaker 6 (01:05:33):
That, but maybe God knows.

Speaker 8 (01:05:37):
Maybe there's pending legislation to make fun illegal.

Speaker 6 (01:05:43):
Yeah, yeah, that's true.

Speaker 26 (01:05:44):
Porna is pulling out of everywhere, so maybe, yeah, we
were going super puritan soon.

Speaker 8 (01:05:51):
The last time we talked to you, we suggested, since
you were you were painting your condo in Florida, we
suggested that you get some giant pieces of paper and
put paint on your body and roll over them. People
were really interested in that if you had a chance
to try it.

Speaker 26 (01:06:06):
So I literally bought a bunch of weight sheets because
I was like, oh, I'll just do the sun sheets
and come put them on canvases. But then I didn't
have time to actually do the painting. So when I
go back, probably like a week and a half or
two weeks, I'm all game.

Speaker 7 (01:06:18):
I'm going to do it.

Speaker 6 (01:06:19):
Interesting.

Speaker 8 (01:06:21):
You can hang it up and back of where you're
doing your broadcast.

Speaker 26 (01:06:26):
You'll see the art change in my apartment drastically.

Speaker 8 (01:06:29):
It's good and Ali has more letters.

Speaker 1 (01:06:30):
Go ahead, Allie, dear Ali.

Speaker 26 (01:06:32):
I found condoms in my boyfriend's shaving kit, and when
I asked him about it, he got mad at me
for going through his bag. I was actually just trying
to help out and put all of this stuff away
after a business trip. And the fact that he got
defensive and mad at me instead of answering my question
looks pretty shady, am I right?

Speaker 1 (01:06:49):
I wonder why he would have the condoms.

Speaker 6 (01:06:55):
Yeah, yeah, there's kind of only one reason. Let's say, look,
there was a time where I had condoms in my
shaving kit when I was on the road. If I
then got a girlfriend and she said, hey, why are
their condoms in your shaving kit? Oh, it was because
I needed them. I don't need them now I'll take
them out, I wouldn't get mad. And that is a

(01:07:20):
weird response. He's guilty.

Speaker 30 (01:07:21):
But if you see how old those condoms are, then
they should be kind of worn right the outside wrapper
because they've been in there for so long, maybe toussled
versus like fresh.

Speaker 26 (01:07:31):
Yeah, that's true, there for a while, like they've been
in there for a while.

Speaker 8 (01:07:36):
Do they have do they have a born on dat?

Speaker 20 (01:07:39):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
I don't think they do.

Speaker 6 (01:07:40):
They do have the experts of ironic. Hmm, yeah, he's
this guy screwing around. Yeah, obviously he should just go. Oh,
you know what, there was a time I needed those
I don't anymore. Yeah, that's you know, there's no way

(01:08:00):
this guy's right. That's what we're suggesting, Road Moong. His
response response suggests you.

Speaker 26 (01:08:09):
Get defensive or you start curling a girl crazy immediately
you've done something wrong.

Speaker 7 (01:08:15):
Yeah, that's that's the tell.

Speaker 8 (01:08:20):
Let's get to our next letter once again. Comedian Ali
Breen is our guest. What do you got Ali?

Speaker 26 (01:08:25):
Dear Allie, my girl always asks advice on things, and
I'm realizing that she's always just going.

Speaker 7 (01:08:30):
To do what she was going to do.

Speaker 26 (01:08:31):
Anyways, is a woman, and we always fight of her.
Why she bothered asking my advice at all? It's getting
really frustrating. Do I need to just relax about this
or I'm right right? This is the worst behavior.

Speaker 8 (01:08:49):
Yeah, you do have to relax about this.

Speaker 6 (01:08:51):
This is every I'm sorry, this is most women every
and you eventually learned to.

Speaker 1 (01:09:00):
Here's here's my advice.

Speaker 6 (01:09:02):
But honey, I want you to do what you're most
comfortable with and what you think is best. Just always
end it. With some caveat of you don't have to Yeah,
that's really good advice. I just said I want a divorce,
which worked last night.

Speaker 30 (01:09:19):
Literally, this happened to me. I always ask I like
to ask questions and overanalyze, and Donnie goes, why does
it matter what I think? You're gonna do whatever, Like,
you're gonna do the opposite of whatever I say, so
just do whatever you want. And I was like, well,
I just want to talk it out and analyzement.

Speaker 7 (01:09:37):
I don't get.

Speaker 26 (01:09:38):
Yes, just is right. We just want to talk and
you don't actually advice if you're on our side.

Speaker 1 (01:09:46):
But tom Ally's right, that's what That's what women want.
They just they don't.

Speaker 6 (01:09:49):
Really want the feedback.

Speaker 8 (01:09:51):
They just want to be able to say, well, we
did review it exactly and don't and they hope.

Speaker 26 (01:09:55):
That we hope that you're gonna say what we're gonna do.

Speaker 6 (01:09:57):
What, guys, what women to do is to say, hey,
I'm not interested in what you think or your advice.
Just sit there and be tortured while I talk for
five minutes. Five minutes.

Speaker 31 (01:10:11):
This wasn't this wasn't my idea, but I have heard
it and I've used it at works and when they're like, hey,
we need to talk about something, it's like, do you
do you want me to listen? Or do you want
me to offer advice? I asked that too, and if
they're like, I just want you to listen, then you
know that right they're just trying.

Speaker 1 (01:10:30):
To work it out them. That doesn't work for me because,
as you know, I've been capable of listening.

Speaker 10 (01:10:36):
And you're always giving advice.

Speaker 8 (01:10:39):
Without the proper input, so it's often not very good.
So I think we've solved that one. That's a big
victory for us. We have time for one more letter.
Ali Breen is our guest. She's a very fine stand
up comedian in New York City and she's also painting
a condo in Florida, but right now she's in the city.

Speaker 1 (01:10:57):
And what have you got, Ali?

Speaker 26 (01:10:59):
Dear Elly, I'm in love with the guy who I
work with, and if I ask him to go to
lunch or do something after work, he's usually game, but
he never asks me to do anything.

Speaker 4 (01:11:07):
First.

Speaker 7 (01:11:08):
We've talked a lot and he told.

Speaker 26 (01:11:09):
Me he isn't dating anyone right now because he isn't
over as X. I think if I keep being pushy,
we could get to a place where we could get together.
But my friends are saying, if I want someone to
actually love me, I need to give them space and
let them come to me.

Speaker 7 (01:11:22):
What do you guys think He's.

Speaker 9 (01:11:23):
Just not.

Speaker 6 (01:11:25):
That's exactly right now. We're not saying that he may not. No,
I'm not even going to say that he's let her
down easy. Yes, he's he isn't as into you as
you are him. Now before before Jessica says it, I'll say,
kidnap him, show up at his house. I knew it.

(01:11:46):
She thought about me.

Speaker 1 (01:11:47):
She's so thoughtful, she cares.

Speaker 6 (01:11:49):
The worst thing you can do is to step on
the gas here.

Speaker 1 (01:11:52):
Yeah, he's saying he's off, Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:11:56):
Back off. Yes, no guy's true has ever turned No
guy who has ever been turned off by a girl
playing it cool?

Speaker 26 (01:12:06):
Yes, So yeah, that's the chance she has if she
lets him.

Speaker 7 (01:12:11):
I think she's not interested.

Speaker 26 (01:12:13):
Maybe I'll come along, But yeah, the pushiness is not
gonna go.

Speaker 6 (01:12:15):
And I even give you advice. I'm sure we all
could on how to get this guy to Maybe if
you in the earshot of him, talk with another girl
about a date you had, and even if it's made up,
just talk about how you. You know, Hey, I really
this guy was really funny and I think we probably
are going to see each other again. Guy's gonna do

(01:12:37):
The guy that you're interested in is gonna do one
of two things, and it'll it'll tell you either way.
He'll he will either do nothing, which means he was
never really into you, or he will ask you out
in a half hour.

Speaker 1 (01:12:50):
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 30 (01:12:51):
But if it's at work and like someone's a boss
of the other person, that could be an issue as well.
Like maybe he's like, I don't want to get involved
with someone at work.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
But he would have said that, get him fired, Get
him fired.

Speaker 6 (01:13:05):
If I've learned how she works, I figured it out.
Now I'm gonna just be to him. We're coming right
back on this Friday morning. Comedian Dike Michaels is in
for a segment. Stand by for that. This is The
Bob and Tom Show. More of the best of The

(01:13:30):
Bob and Tom Show now on this Friday morning. This
is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a
segment with comedian Dike Michael.

Speaker 8 (01:13:37):
Guest in the studio. He is comedian Dike Michaels. We've
learned a little something about you, but not everything, And
so I'm going to continue to ask questions that may
get me in trouble.

Speaker 6 (01:13:48):
Now we know that you're all.

Speaker 8 (01:13:49):
You're also you also work at a restaurant as a chef,
but you're a full time stand up comedian as well.
You have an unusual background. You were raised by your grandparents.
I now, let's let's do it this way. The other
jobs that you have before being a comedian and before
being a chef, did you have any other interesting Yeah? Briefly,

(01:14:12):
I was a bouncer at a strip club. Yeah, combining
two of my least favorite things, physical altercations and glitter.

Speaker 6 (01:14:22):
I was.

Speaker 32 (01:14:23):
I was working there, but they're these two different girls
that dance under the same stage name Privilege. So to
tell him apart, we called him White Privilege and Black Privilege.
White Privilege of course got the better time slot. It
was pretty messed up because I think Black Privilege was
actually Puerto Rican.

Speaker 6 (01:14:46):
It was a bad club. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:14:48):
We knew a guy that worked here that was also
a strip club DJ.

Speaker 6 (01:14:53):
And tough gig. A lot of drama, a lot of
unnecessary hate. He did it for a long time, but
he hated it. Man.

Speaker 32 (01:15:01):
It's like a soap opera. I always thought there should
be a TV show that just takes place and just
the daily workings of inside of a strip club. Sure,
because you'd be amazed at how quickly, uh, nudity becomes
just like party or j you know, someone's just sitting
there complaining about work. You know, you kind of forget
that they're topless after after the first day or two, you.

Speaker 1 (01:15:22):
Know, That's how it is here with chris Er. Yeah,
was there a den mother of sorts?

Speaker 26 (01:15:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:15:27):
Yeah, they call it a house mom.

Speaker 6 (01:15:29):
A house mom, yes, yeah, where that's an older, maybe
retired stripper a lot of times who sort of just
oversees the girls back in the locker room or you know,
dressing room.

Speaker 10 (01:15:40):
Make sure they don't fight or something kind yeah.

Speaker 32 (01:15:42):
Kind of, they have all this stuff if they need,
you know, makeup or lady stuff. Then she my first
day on the job working there, I saw a fight
in the parking lot between the house mom and a
stripper and they were fighting over loose sannax. That's a
sad A is hilarious. And the house mom was the

(01:16:04):
stripper's actual mother too.

Speaker 1 (01:16:09):
Yeah, maybe your string is showing.

Speaker 8 (01:16:12):
Yeah, maybe maybe it was time to get a better gig.
Glad you segued into the world of cooking.

Speaker 6 (01:16:19):
My dad was offered a job to be a He
was a DJ like dances and weddings and and he
was offered a strip club job and he was going
to take it because the money was okay, but my
mom said, hey, you have four boys. What are you
going to tell them you do? And he was like, yeah,
maybe I shouldn't do this.

Speaker 8 (01:16:34):
And I bet you, I bet you were really disappointed.

Speaker 1 (01:16:38):
Dad, even four year old name. It's take your son
to work. I want to meet this lady you call Mercedes.

Speaker 3 (01:16:48):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (01:16:49):
Galaxies a bitch?

Speaker 8 (01:16:50):
Okay, Sorry, we're hanging out with a comedian, Dike Michael's.
We also have Christie Lee over there. What's happening?

Speaker 10 (01:16:56):
A new report out there reveals the c i A
operated a Star Wars fan website as part of a
covert global communication network. According to four or four Media,
independent security researcher Zero Santelli Sentilly identified.

Speaker 6 (01:17:18):
Sorry, yeah, agent zero, it's his name.

Speaker 10 (01:17:22):
Zero Santilly identified star warsweb dot net as a CIA
run site established around twenty ten.

Speaker 1 (01:17:31):
What are they looking for in that?

Speaker 5 (01:17:32):
Nerd?

Speaker 10 (01:17:33):
The platform believed to have been used to discreetly exchange
messages Josh with intelligence operatives worldwide.

Speaker 1 (01:17:40):
Oh okay, searching for people were Yeah, you got a
guy that's, you know, the undercover in China. Yeah yeah,
and he can go on this thing and he knows
or wow yeah.

Speaker 10 (01:17:50):
Santilly's investigation also uncovered several other websites likely tied to
the agency, including pages focused on extreme sports, Brazilian music,
and even a comedian fan site, Oh doesn't name the comedian?
Is it all comedians, suggesting a broader strategy of using

(01:18:10):
seemingly innocuous websites for secure communication.

Speaker 1 (01:18:14):
Interesting.

Speaker 8 (01:18:15):
So you wow, that's that's so interesting that. I mean,
people are not going to think that Star Wars is
actually on the dark.

Speaker 6 (01:18:23):
Side because they're doing covert operations with you know.

Speaker 8 (01:18:28):
I don't like it when they give away their secrets, right,
I'm the same. I always hat like when USA Today
would go tomorrow, we're going to be invading. Hey hey, hey, yeah,
they get USA Today over there, shut up. I don't
I like it when the secret agent she's stay secret.
I don't need to know.

Speaker 6 (01:18:46):
I'm very pro covert operation. Yeah, I think there's really
more of it. I don't know how some of these
people are still living across the world. We can't get
somebody to tap putin with an umbrella, you know, Yeah,
all of a.

Speaker 1 (01:19:01):
Sudden, he's dead.

Speaker 31 (01:19:03):
But you wonder what, like, now, any site could be
a CI like I wonder if that one side I
look at only wookies. I wonder if that's a CIA site.
Wasn't a good place for the CIA to hide online?
Be c I a dot com? No one's going to assume.

Speaker 6 (01:19:23):
But see, this is suggesting that the Siths killed JFK.

Speaker 32 (01:19:29):
It was uncovered because the guy's screen name was Agent
double O jar Jar or something like that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:34):
Uh oh, that's Tom's favorite character.

Speaker 8 (01:19:38):
Yeah, there's a they poor jar Jar got drummed out
of the movies.

Speaker 1 (01:19:43):
But because of political.

Speaker 6 (01:19:45):
Correct No, we've tried to explain this. Now you have
to listen to this. There was some political correctness people
who were upset, but it was mostly because he was
annoying and unfunny. That's why they faded him out. Oh,
I thought he was really funny.

Speaker 1 (01:19:59):
We have a self proclaimed nerd here, Dike Michaels. You're
the only one time.

Speaker 6 (01:20:05):
I will say this.

Speaker 32 (01:20:06):
It was a It was a It was a bummer
because the the the young actor who played jar Jar
was a like a young black dude, and they got
this part and they were telling they were gassing him up,
and they were like, you are gonna be the next Chewbaka.
You are gonna be beloved for generations to come. You
are part of this pantheon of Star Wars. And then

(01:20:26):
he became the most hated character.

Speaker 6 (01:20:28):
That's so sad.

Speaker 1 (01:20:30):
Wasn't he a member of like bringing the Noise, bringing
to funk or something. I didn't know that jar Jar
or the actor who plays I bring into.

Speaker 6 (01:20:44):
Nissa bringing the noise my favorite song, funky nas song.
I do love that song. By the way, Oh that's
such a great song.

Speaker 27 (01:20:54):
I have no idea what you're talkings.

Speaker 6 (01:20:57):
Gone funky NASA's gone soul.

Speaker 1 (01:20:59):
An older, because with you it's either brand new or whale.

Speaker 8 (01:21:03):
Yes, it's old. It's very old, okay, And.

Speaker 6 (01:21:05):
Who does it? Pat remember who does it? Isn't like
the beginning of the end or something. Here we go.

Speaker 1 (01:21:14):
This is a little bit of funky news? Is it reggae?
Big horns?

Speaker 6 (01:21:20):
Everything?

Speaker 11 (01:21:20):
I love?

Speaker 6 (01:21:23):
It's what is this sambasa? Funky?

Speaker 3 (01:21:30):
Is it the.

Speaker 6 (01:21:30):
Beginning of the beginning of the end. That's right, Yeah, we.

Speaker 12 (01:21:34):
Gotta we're gonna call it nineteen seventy one.

Speaker 6 (01:21:40):
This great, that's all right, it's all right. Yeah, yeah,
it's not it's not all right. No, it is all right,
earth changing rat.

Speaker 10 (01:21:53):
I'm sure for you at a young nineteen seventy one age, it.

Speaker 8 (01:21:56):
Was metally Yeah. No, it's eternal, it's greatness lives forever.
I just love that funking nassa. There's a thing where
he keeps repeating funky nashole.

Speaker 1 (01:22:08):
Oh yeah, I love that when they don't know what
else to write.

Speaker 10 (01:22:12):
There was something on there.

Speaker 8 (01:22:14):
The best lyrics since Papa mal Ma I love nonsense lyrics.
Do you have any adult personal relationships of any particular sphere?

Speaker 6 (01:22:24):
Oh, like a like a wife or girlfriend?

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
Like he's an alien learning.

Speaker 6 (01:22:31):
I'm trying to leave the open.

Speaker 32 (01:22:33):
At all basis what the boyfriend girlfriend dave them end?

Speaker 8 (01:22:36):
Yes, anything is anything going on on?

Speaker 32 (01:22:38):
That s No, I'm familiar with the concept. I remember
it's no I've been I've been single.

Speaker 3 (01:22:43):
Uh.

Speaker 32 (01:22:44):
I feel like, uh, part of being a comedian it's
either either your single or your wife runs your.

Speaker 1 (01:22:50):
Your business for you. You know, have you ever been married.
I have not.

Speaker 6 (01:22:53):
No, you were engaged though I was pre engaged.

Speaker 32 (01:22:57):
Okay, yeah, I was engaged enough to change my name,
but not to buy read.

Speaker 8 (01:23:05):
Are you still on speaking terms with the aforementioned fiance.

Speaker 6 (01:23:09):
On most of them? Yeah?

Speaker 32 (01:23:10):
Most, more than one. I mean most of the exes.
I feel like I'm pretty.

Speaker 1 (01:23:13):
Good to her.

Speaker 6 (01:23:13):
While Yeah, how many exes you go?

Speaker 1 (01:23:15):
There's a there's a decent amount. Do you ever occasionally
hook up with any of them?

Speaker 3 (01:23:19):
Uh?

Speaker 26 (01:23:20):
Oh?

Speaker 32 (01:23:20):
Like go back to the well, yeah, man, I'll tell
you what around like COVID times, like I hit up
a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:23:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 32 (01:23:27):
Like like once you could start going out in public. Uh, yeah,
I had some. I revisited some of the old hits.

Speaker 8 (01:23:36):
Once again. You mentioned you were raised by your grandparents. Uh,
did you get the sex talk.

Speaker 6 (01:23:43):
From your grandmother?

Speaker 32 (01:23:44):
I I got the sex talk from my mom. And
she tried to be so scientific as a family full
of scientists, and she she was very uncomfortable, and she said,
let me see if I get she said, when she
was like, well, when you become a man and you
become excited, your penis will become in gorged and you're

(01:24:05):
very very uh yeah, And the very first thing I
thought about was like an Indians game bases loaded, someone
hits a grand Slam and every man stands up to cheer,
and they're excited and they just start going and I
started to cry, and I was like, I never want
to be a man.

Speaker 1 (01:24:22):
That sounds terrible. So that kind of excitement, Yeah, I
can see why you're really into Star Warsh. Do you
do the dating apps?

Speaker 6 (01:24:32):
I don't.

Speaker 32 (01:24:32):
I don't like the dating apps much because I feel
like you can always tell what mess up someone's last
relationship from their current bio. You know, it's always something
like Cat thirty two. I'm not going to be invested
in a cryptocurrency.

Speaker 1 (01:24:45):
Like what happened?

Speaker 6 (01:24:46):
Yeah, I Cat lost a lot of money on that
hawk to a coin.

Speaker 13 (01:24:51):
Coming up next hour on the Best of The Bob
and Tom Show, Christy and Pat swap shirts and comedian
Joe Dombrowski. But next it's comedian Derek Stroop.

Speaker 6 (01:25:02):
Come on back.

Speaker 13 (01:25:03):
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back to
the Bob and Tom Show. On this Friday Independence Day.
This is Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. A
bunch of great comedians still on the way. Henry Phillips
and Greg Hahn are coming up next hour. Right now,

(01:25:23):
a segment with Derek Stroop.

Speaker 6 (01:25:25):
We have another guest, Derek Stroop. Great to meet you, Derek.
The listeners are writing in, Oh awesome. Many listeners want
to know what that cologne.

Speaker 1 (01:25:33):
You're wearing is. That's right, Yeah, they can smell it.

Speaker 6 (01:25:39):
Man.

Speaker 11 (01:25:40):
I was already given a warning about this. They were like,
we didn't book you the normal way. These guys hate colonne.
I even went into the bathroom and wipe myself down
with talent's for you. Very interesting people here. My goodness,
I have no no. When you hop into a cab
in New York City, I bet you love the smell.

(01:26:02):
You go, now, this is natural. This is what I
was looking for. I have like a weird allergy to it.

Speaker 1 (01:26:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:26:08):
No, he was telling me.

Speaker 11 (01:26:09):
I mean, and I go, I'm the worst person to
miss this email because I love cologne. I mean I
put on cologne to take out the trash.

Speaker 6 (01:26:18):
Yeah, I love I love cologne. Is this a Southern thing?

Speaker 11 (01:26:23):
You know?

Speaker 6 (01:26:23):
I don't know if it's a Southern thing.

Speaker 11 (01:26:24):
My grandfather wore a lot of cologne, and when I
was a little kid, he came and stayed like a
week at our house and he slept in my room
and I remember when he left my pillow in my
bed smelled like his cologne for like three weeks, and
I loved it. I was like, I want to wear
what he wears. And so I just started wearing cologne
at a really young age.

Speaker 1 (01:26:44):
Will you guys cologne up before you're on like a plane?

Speaker 11 (01:26:48):
Look, He's like he's like looking out for other people
like him. He's like, you sit next to people, I'm
gonna tell you, you're gonna hate my answer. I put on
cologne for all situations. I got in my head one
time I saw this reel that came on and this
guy was blasting men that put on cologne.

Speaker 6 (01:27:05):
To go to work with men.

Speaker 11 (01:27:06):
Yeah, And I was like this, I don't wear it
thinking like that, I just wear it to smell good.
But like I mean, I've done some blue collar jobs
and if I'm going to cut grass, your boys gonna
smell good while it's on the lawn there.

Speaker 6 (01:27:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:27:18):
Yeah, what is the what is the name of your cologne?

Speaker 11 (01:27:21):
Well, I have to say Lifelong Intuition Fan by Estate Laud,
but they recently discontinued that, which is heartbreaking. Y'all wouldn't
understand now, Yeah, don't, Jay Gabana, the one is what
is what I have.

Speaker 6 (01:27:38):
On right now?

Speaker 1 (01:27:40):
I see it as a form of bullying. Yeah, you're
wearing I can tell. Yeah, yeah, it's a Derek.

Speaker 31 (01:27:47):
When you were young and you liked your grandfather's cologne,
was it weird being the only third grader wearing English
leather the school?

Speaker 11 (01:27:55):
One time, all my friends they invited me kind of
last minute to go to a movie. My mom said,
I ran inside, went into the bathroom, took all my
You remember that Polo green, Yeah, man, I mean that's
what That's what my grandfather wore. And she said, I
just took the top off and I just dumped it
over my body. And she said when I came out
of the bathroom, like nobody could be within like thirty yards.

Speaker 6 (01:28:18):
I missed the movie and she made me soaking vendigar.

Speaker 11 (01:28:21):
Yeah yeah, And then I looked it up and vinegar
doesn't even help in that situle the day. Listen, back
before the internet, parents, we just did like home. You
just guessed you didn't get to google. My son smells
like cologne, you go. I just poured apple cider Vintager
lay down in a little.

Speaker 1 (01:28:38):
Bit like I think this is from beast things. Yes, yeah, yeah, wow.

Speaker 8 (01:28:47):
Do you know is this a kind of cologne that
you you spray it in the air and walk through
it or is this like a liquid you smear on.

Speaker 11 (01:28:54):
I think that women spray in the air and walk
through it. I think men sprayed. So I'm gonna step
back and and spray. And I mean, you know, this
is a maybe a big moment for me where I
can be more conscious of the people that are around me,
you know, because now in hindsight, if we saw maybe
a smash cut of my life, there's all these people
around me, like even that what.

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
Is you know, gentlemen particular stage Derek's true.

Speaker 11 (01:29:21):
Yeah, And then there's one woman from Kansas that goes,
I don't know, I like it smelled anything like that.

Speaker 6 (01:29:27):
That's what you want.

Speaker 33 (01:29:28):
And honestly, like Derek, I think I relate to you
clearly more than anybody else in this room. Like being
a black dude getting ready to go to the club
with other black men. It was ironing clothes and putting
on cologne and getting your hair right with your waves.
But there there is a like a male grooming routine,
and I feel like the Colonne is part of it,

(01:29:49):
for sure. It's just that's why you were like even
when I went to work, it's like almost like a
finishing thing.

Speaker 6 (01:29:53):
It is.

Speaker 33 (01:29:53):
I'm ready to go now. Yeah, yeah, I totally get that.

Speaker 6 (01:29:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 11 (01:29:57):
Sometimes I'll forget to put it on and I'll be
going out and I'm like, really, I don't have the
juice right now.

Speaker 1 (01:30:02):
I really I don't have.

Speaker 11 (01:30:04):
I don't have that thing that makes him go, Okay,
your boys.

Speaker 14 (01:30:09):
Stroop over there.

Speaker 1 (01:30:11):
So your your fiance, Yeah, she digs the she must yeah, yeah,
she must must. But Christy and I were talking about this.

Speaker 6 (01:30:19):
You want whatever your girl says smells good or bet
you go with what she says.

Speaker 11 (01:30:24):
Yeah, no, no, I agree, and that I mean there's
been times where she's like, I don't love that shirt
on you, and that'll damage it down. I mean you're
the only I mean, your opinion, you know, carries a
lot of weight, you know, and.

Speaker 8 (01:30:36):
You'll just wait till you're married and you go out
with her and she says, get this shirt. You get
it the next time you have it, and she goes,
I don't like that shirt on you, and you go
wait a minute, you picked it. No, I didn't. Yeah,
I'm sorry. That's my life. We have a comedian Al
Jackson right over there from Denver, Colorado, and we have
comedian Derek Stroop from Harvest, Alabama, And uh.

Speaker 33 (01:30:59):
Are you in do something this like? This is an
amateur boxing knife. Now, I really didn't do this one
by weight class. I'll be texting Derek before the fight.
Please don't hit me that hard, texting pictures of my kids.

Speaker 9 (01:31:16):
You know.

Speaker 8 (01:31:17):
We were just talking off the air about something and
Derek coughed up this trivia fact. Okay, he mentioned that
he just moved to New York City cracked, So I
asked him.

Speaker 6 (01:31:26):
Do you have a car?

Speaker 8 (01:31:27):
Because keeping a car in New York City, which I
have done and it's not worth it. But you told
me you don't drive at all? No, I do not
drive it all I have. I haven't drove in fourteen years.
So I mean, you know, sometimes I'll park the car
in the parking lot and the adrenaline is unreal. Yeah,
like we'll get the cracker, bro, and I'll go let

(01:31:48):
me back it in, you know, let me show you
big dog Stell got it, you know, so you just
you don't like driving or no.

Speaker 29 (01:31:57):
No.

Speaker 11 (01:31:58):
Fourteen years ago, I and what kind of started my
comedy career and changed my life. I got two DUIs
in six months. And I say six months because it
sounds better than four. And I don't drink anymore. Nobody
has to worry about me out there. But I gave
up I gave up driving. I've never even had a

(01:32:20):
speeding ticket in my life, and I had those two
incidents happen and it just kind of shell shocked me.
And I just, you know, gave up driving immediately. And
I gave up drinking about four years ago. But what's
funny is okay, y'all get it, but listen, what's funny
about this is I tell this story about a year ago.
I'm out on tour with Bert Kreischer and we're sitting

(01:32:41):
on his bus and he goes, hey, man, how does
somebody from Harvest, Alabama get into comedy?

Speaker 6 (01:32:45):
And I tell him this story.

Speaker 11 (01:32:47):
I tell him about the DUIs and what type of
position it put me in and how it changed my life.
And I tell him at the end, I go, and
you know, I haven't drank in four years. I haven't
drove in fourteen and Bert's looking at me and he
puts out his cigar, and if y'all know anything about cigars,
that's quite the commitment. And he goes, man, I've heard

(01:33:07):
a lot of dui stories and he goes, they never
end this way. He goes, they all end the same way.
They all end with, Hey, Bert, I have not drank
in fourteen years. He goes, you just looked at me
and says, you have not drove in fourteen years. He goes, Derek,
I think you're the first person I've ever met that
gave up the vehicle and not the booze. And he's

(01:33:28):
so right because at the time I can remember thinking
this Jim Beam's not the problem. This Camry's bad luck.
I was like, I'm very good at drinking that they
just get mad every time. I mean, in the camera's
of V six. I don't know what they're mad at.
You know, it's a decent vehicle. But yeah, so, yeah,
fourteen years, haven't But living in a rural area, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:33:50):
No, no, I didn't.

Speaker 11 (01:33:52):
That was the toughest. Only a couple of years in
a rural area. And then I moved to Denver and
I lived in downtown Denver just a few blocks from
Corsfield for a decade, and Uber and Lyft and all
that definitely made that Okay, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:34:03):
Okay, that all kicked in because, yeah, I know, I
know a couple people that don't drive, and it's it's
not easy.

Speaker 8 (01:34:08):
It seems free.

Speaker 1 (01:34:10):
It does.

Speaker 8 (01:34:10):
Live in the right place. It seems very like.

Speaker 1 (01:34:12):
Well, if you live in a place where you can
walk everywhere, if you're in New York and you can
take the subway or whatever, that's great.

Speaker 6 (01:34:17):
Yeah, New York is a different beast.

Speaker 11 (01:34:19):
I mean in Denver, I only Uber and Lyft, and
I'll be honest, I mean, you got a alan know this.

Speaker 6 (01:34:25):
Denver is a scooter city, yes, and so.

Speaker 11 (01:34:28):
You can run your errands and live your life in
downtown Denver on a scooter. I know it's hard to
wrap your head around, but but.

Speaker 6 (01:34:34):
But you can.

Speaker 11 (01:34:34):
Now it doesn't you know, when I'm leaving the grocery
store and I have seven bags on the handles, it
doesn't look like I'm doing great. I'll be honest, I'm
doing better than I look when I'm right. When I'm
holding a gallon of milk headed down Broadway.

Speaker 8 (01:34:48):
You gotta get to to balance it. Yeah, whatever, one gallon.

Speaker 11 (01:34:52):
I'm just doing circles, parking a lot.

Speaker 6 (01:34:55):
Somebody buy another gallon.

Speaker 8 (01:34:58):
Now are you a Are you a cook? You're you're a
man of a certain size. You played football?

Speaker 2 (01:35:02):
Yeah? Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:35:02):
Do you cook for yourself?

Speaker 9 (01:35:04):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (01:35:04):
I love. I love to cook.

Speaker 11 (01:35:07):
I mean I'm not somebody that like, uh, I don't
do any complicated recipes.

Speaker 6 (01:35:11):
I'm a crock pot guy, pretty easy stuff.

Speaker 11 (01:35:13):
But I learned how to cook at a young age
because I mean, I've been a big guy in my
whole life, and I can remember at a young age
my mom being like, if you're gonna eat at this rate,
you're gonna have to make some stuff.

Speaker 7 (01:35:24):
So I can.

Speaker 11 (01:35:24):
Remember being like seven years old being like, I think
the maloney's ready to be flipped.

Speaker 6 (01:35:30):
So I've been cooking for for a while.

Speaker 1 (01:35:33):
I love.

Speaker 6 (01:35:34):
I like to eat more than I like.

Speaker 11 (01:35:35):
Like. I watch a lot of chefs on TV, and
I don't really pay attention to the recipe. I'm I'm
there for what. I'm there for the finished you know. Yeah, yeah,
yeah exactly. I want to see that bite.

Speaker 6 (01:35:46):
Yeah. Oh so you watch those cooking shows like I
watch porn. I just fast forward to the end.

Speaker 32 (01:35:50):
Yeah yeah, yeah, that's that's that's the money.

Speaker 11 (01:35:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly right, Juet.

Speaker 6 (01:35:59):
Any usual food, any unusual Southern type stuff, did you know?

Speaker 11 (01:36:05):
I mean, I tell people I'm a sodium guy from
way back. I love salt. I wish I wasn't man.
Sometimes I love it. Sometimes I'll buy boloney and just
suck on it, you know. I mean, I mean, I
want to get downe eating dinner and take off my socks.
It looks like I still got them on.

Speaker 6 (01:36:19):
You know, did you did you see that thing?

Speaker 9 (01:36:23):
It was?

Speaker 8 (01:36:24):
It was a couple of summers ago, I think, and
I think it was at a Yankee game where it
went one of those viral things where somebody took a
top dog and they hollowed it out. Oh yeah, and
they were sucking the beer out of it. So we
tried that here. I didn't know you were going to
say that, and I did it. I did it with

(01:36:47):
a I did it with coffee, and I gotta tell
you I was quite. It wasn't bad because it was
so salty.

Speaker 11 (01:36:54):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. See now now I see where
you're going. I would like that too, because I do
love salty. Have you ever had Bold peanuts?

Speaker 1 (01:37:01):
No?

Speaker 6 (01:37:02):
Oh, you would love them.

Speaker 11 (01:37:03):
I mean they're just little sodium, little sodium bombs just
in a yeah, man, I mean you'll stand up, you'll
you'll go.

Speaker 6 (01:37:09):
My legs are heavy. You'll be happy like that.

Speaker 11 (01:37:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (01:37:11):
Coming up in just a few minutes here on The
Bob and Tom Show, a great segment with comedian Joe Dombrowski.
Stand by, it's coming up on The Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 12 (01:37:26):
N Finger Johnny on the first day of July. He
loved the season's grand displays of fireworks in the sky way,
Hey Tora, Laura ly and so he drove across the
state line to the fireworks stand. He came back with
a string of firecrackers in his hand. He struck a

(01:37:49):
match and lit them up, and everybody ran except for Johnny.

Speaker 3 (01:37:55):
Way, Hey boom and up she goes.

Speaker 12 (01:38:00):
Six Finger Johnny on the second of July, and his
need for large explosions still had not run dry.

Speaker 3 (01:38:10):
Way, Hey Tora Laurale. So he went.

Speaker 12 (01:38:16):
Walking down Main Street with two M eighties he had
found and set them off in the gazebo at the
center of the town. And when the fuse began to sputter,
no one stood around except for Johnny.

Speaker 3 (01:38:33):
Way, Hey boom and up she goes.

Speaker 12 (01:38:39):
Three finger Johnny on the thirty of July jones ing
for the ultimate in pyrotechnic highs way, Hey Tora Laurally,
he tied a brick of Johnny ReBs onto a muddelplane,
and then he doused the whole shebang in ninety three octave.

(01:39:04):
It flew straight up and straight back down, but nobody
was named except for Johnny Way, Hey.

Speaker 3 (01:39:18):
Boom and up she goes one point five limb.

Speaker 12 (01:39:24):
Johnny on the fourth day of July, hopped to the
construction site to give it one last try.

Speaker 3 (01:39:33):
Way, Hey Tora, Lauraali.

Speaker 12 (01:39:39):
Inside the foremance trailer was a case of dynamite. Johnny
held a zippo between his toes and set it burning
right The foreman saw the sparks begin, and everyone took flight.

Speaker 6 (01:39:55):
Except for Johnny.

Speaker 3 (01:39:59):
Way, Hey Boom and Up shee.

Speaker 12 (01:40:06):
They buried Johnny on the fiftyay of July. Everyone in
town showed up to say their last goodbye, Way, Hey
Tora Laura. And though they knew he was a moron,
no one could dispute the depth of Johnny's dedication to

(01:40:28):
his life's pursuit and sixty seven Roman candles fired off
in salute to the sixty seven pieces left of Johnny.

Speaker 1 (01:40:43):
Way.

Speaker 3 (01:40:44):
Hey boom and up she go.

Speaker 13 (01:40:51):
This is the Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back on
a Friday morning. This is Christopher and the Bob and
Tom Studios. Here's a great funny segment with a funny guy,
comedian Joe Dombrowski.

Speaker 6 (01:41:02):
So we've got a special guest.

Speaker 1 (01:41:03):
He is a former kindergarten teacher. It's Joe Dombrowski.

Speaker 8 (01:41:07):
Now, did you ever teach at the level where they
have to start writing stuff so you'd have to make
them write your name out?

Speaker 34 (01:41:13):
I'll never teach middle school again. That's where dreams go
to die. It was the most chaotic mess I've ever
taught in my life because because they're just like ruthless.
Ruthless me like I had. I had a middle school
or two. One time he looked at me and he said, Okay,
I don't even know with you guys anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:41:30):
You say so much. I'm like, what can I get
away with?

Speaker 6 (01:41:32):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:41:33):
They said?

Speaker 34 (01:41:33):
He looked at me, He goes, mister d you nothing
but a little b oh who's still sucking on your
mama's tea, and I looked at him and I said,
who told you.

Speaker 1 (01:41:51):
It's wrong? Wow?

Speaker 8 (01:41:54):
Now you you grew up in the Detroit area, Yes,
did you go to a college in Michigan.

Speaker 34 (01:41:59):
Central Michigan University. They're familiar Bay City? Second on Midland
Flynn Hello right now?

Speaker 1 (01:42:05):
Yeah, yeah, right there in the middle.

Speaker 34 (01:42:08):
Yeah, Soaring Eagle Casino. Yeah, lost a lot of money
there and did grab this new?

Speaker 6 (01:42:15):
What is your? What is your?

Speaker 1 (01:42:17):
What a particular game does one play in the casino
that you enjoy most?

Speaker 34 (01:42:21):
I was raised to play cap craps at the young
age of seven, and that's my game. Yeah, you know,
it's just a lead in with throwing dice against the
wall and the next thing you know, you're at the
craps table.

Speaker 1 (01:42:33):
Oh yeah, and then roulette because.

Speaker 34 (01:42:35):
It's just so easy you don't have to think about it.

Speaker 1 (01:42:38):
Everybody wins, Yeah, everybody.

Speaker 27 (01:42:40):
I I don't like.

Speaker 6 (01:42:43):
Right now, Yeah you lose.

Speaker 8 (01:42:48):
We were talking about gambling earlier, because this is the
peak gambling season. Oh yeah, Well, we had some stats
on the number of people who bet on the college
basketball story that Chick did not find interesting.

Speaker 6 (01:43:02):
Oh I didn't. I was going right along with the
program until.

Speaker 1 (01:43:05):
Josh, Yeah, I was real bored.

Speaker 10 (01:43:08):
Yeah, Josh's defense he doesn't care for basketball.

Speaker 1 (01:43:12):
No, completely indifferent to it.

Speaker 6 (01:43:13):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:43:14):
I hold no ill will towards it. I'm not angry
about anything. You dislike people who enjoy. That is not true.
Anybody enjoys anything I enjoy.

Speaker 8 (01:43:23):
Okay, now let's uh, mister DOBRASKI, what kind of activities
do you enjoy? Let me well, does this feel like
a congressional hearing?

Speaker 1 (01:43:36):
Like I'm gonna say the wrong My career is gonna
be like and I no, I mean, I'm serious.

Speaker 6 (01:43:43):
Do you I'm not gonna say something like do you bowl?
Or do you enjoy Judy Garbland movies? Yeah?

Speaker 34 (01:43:53):
And I love a good pride and orgy to the
What do you know?

Speaker 1 (01:43:59):
Would you like to watch sports? Do you like to paint?

Speaker 34 (01:44:02):
Love sports? Big in the march? Madness right now? Excilerating?
I mean tall men in short shorts? Could you believe that.

Speaker 2 (01:44:12):
You wanted?

Speaker 34 (01:44:15):
And I'm a big knitter, by the way, and I
have a seven rescue pit though I donate to Sarah
McLaughlin every month.

Speaker 6 (01:44:23):
They about to have a fun interview.

Speaker 10 (01:44:29):
You are embarrassment to.

Speaker 34 (01:44:31):
My hobbies are redoing my house. Very Handy does a
lot of We have a lot of projects going on
to the house and it's fun an old mid century
modern canta.

Speaker 1 (01:44:42):
Give you some tip, I don't know if I want it,
and christ you will back me up on.

Speaker 8 (01:44:48):
Just give me the name of one of your projects.
Don't give me any like you kitchen and kitchen.

Speaker 24 (01:44:53):
Now when the name one of my expensive No, no,
that's not the answer.

Speaker 6 (01:44:59):
When is it?

Speaker 1 (01:45:00):
When is it going to be done?

Speaker 6 (01:45:03):
Hopeful six months?

Speaker 1 (01:45:05):
No, the answer is not the right answer is at
least two years.

Speaker 8 (01:45:08):
What do you think, Christie?

Speaker 1 (01:45:09):
Yeah, probably I might take a bath of the toaster.

Speaker 10 (01:45:14):
Are you having someone else do the work or are
you doing it yourself?

Speaker 1 (01:45:17):
No, here's the thing.

Speaker 34 (01:45:18):
I married one of those people who can do anything,
like not even watch a YouTube video, just can do it.
So we are doing it ourselves, which is great.

Speaker 6 (01:45:28):
But also like I don't want to.

Speaker 1 (01:45:32):
I don't want to.

Speaker 34 (01:45:33):
I want to get home, I want to have a
cocktail and I want to go to bed.

Speaker 6 (01:45:37):
I don't want to like grout tiele.

Speaker 7 (01:45:42):
Me.

Speaker 6 (01:45:42):
This is the one time forever, I mean, I look.

Speaker 34 (01:45:45):
Like I could be of heterosexual dissent, but honey, I
am not.

Speaker 6 (01:45:52):
And one night you come home, you have that martini.
You look around, Oh the kitchen's done. Yeah great, let's dream.

Speaker 1 (01:45:58):
Let's Christie. Christy's doing it right now.

Speaker 12 (01:46:01):
I just.

Speaker 6 (01:46:02):
Went through four year bill.

Speaker 1 (01:46:04):
We went through it every day. It's a blessing you guys.

Speaker 6 (01:46:10):
You have the means and you have the ability to
get to at least you can have all the means
you want. But the time and the lack of people
showing up. I've never heard more people complain about getting
new nice things.

Speaker 1 (01:46:25):
Took an extra month.

Speaker 3 (01:46:26):
It's hard.

Speaker 6 (01:46:27):
They bring the wrong color.

Speaker 7 (01:46:28):
Tile, day's row.

Speaker 1 (01:46:32):
The granite guy is a week later than he said
he would. It's marble.

Speaker 6 (01:46:39):
Right.

Speaker 10 (01:46:41):
It was right on time.

Speaker 6 (01:46:42):
And I love my ground.

Speaker 8 (01:46:43):
I told you we shouldn't put the gift shop over there.
So your hobby is redoing your house. My hobby is
project managing. Okay, just like watching now in all truth,
regardless of the nature of one's relationship.

Speaker 1 (01:46:58):
Of which the nature is actual.

Speaker 6 (01:47:00):
Okay, that's a much more direct way of saying what
I was trying to say.

Speaker 1 (01:47:05):
Let me in.

Speaker 8 (01:47:08):
Keeping keeping a relationship intact while building a house or
redecorating one is rough. I think it's interesting because when
the when the guy painting hands you a divorce attorney's name.
He just in case most of my clients need this,
it gets tough because there's a lot of arguing and but.

Speaker 1 (01:47:26):
Don't you let the alpha decorator just do their thing?

Speaker 35 (01:47:29):
No?

Speaker 8 (01:47:29):
No, I let Kelly make all the decisions.

Speaker 1 (01:47:31):
That's that's what I mean.

Speaker 6 (01:47:34):
Do you like whatever you want?

Speaker 1 (01:47:37):
And where do you stand in this particular relationship with
your man? You know, I think we're just in a
happier place because we look at our windows. We have
beautiful views of the ocean and everything. And you guys
look at your windows and you see corn.

Speaker 6 (01:47:46):
So we're just batter You know that sounded like a shot. No, no, no,
I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:47:54):
I wouldn't call it a shot. I would call it,
you know, a massacre. Yes, not one shot, but a
machine gun.

Speaker 6 (01:48:05):
Spray girls.

Speaker 1 (01:48:08):
I'm trying to grow some I'm trying to grow some
corn next to the pool house, so we'll see.

Speaker 10 (01:48:13):
I don't think you're a yeah.

Speaker 8 (01:48:15):
Okay, uh, once again, welcome to the Bob and Tom program.
If you're just joining us, we're sure having fun. That
hasn't done anything for a while. And I think we've
our guest, Jojanbrowski is regretting coming in. I think now
we're gonna ask him to play a song for Pat.

(01:48:37):
You know Pat's choking?

Speaker 6 (01:48:38):
Are you switching to something?

Speaker 3 (01:48:39):
Pat?

Speaker 1 (01:48:39):
Is that what I've given us?

Speaker 6 (01:48:40):
A little wagon wheel?

Speaker 1 (01:48:41):
Wall stop that my wagon.

Speaker 27 (01:48:50):
Tom wants to hear the song that you inspired you
and in the green room with.

Speaker 6 (01:48:54):
Talking about that. Yes, we're talking about heart problems.

Speaker 3 (01:48:59):
Am I.

Speaker 34 (01:49:00):
We're talking about our divorces and heart problems. Do you
need your aar P card? You do your young whipper sepper.

Speaker 1 (01:49:10):
I'm gonna sing.

Speaker 6 (01:49:10):
Now, thank you Careful you may hurt yourself.

Speaker 1 (01:49:15):
I'm like Glass. Of course he did astracting me. We'll
take us away. Froline Maria.

Speaker 2 (01:49:21):
Let's do.

Speaker 27 (01:49:24):
They call me a ho o condreac thing.

Speaker 1 (01:49:29):
I'm having a hard attack. I got a little freckle
getting bigger back.

Speaker 29 (01:49:40):
Something's wrong with my right hand? Should I express my
anal gland?

Speaker 1 (01:49:47):
I got that sea the act.

Speaker 6 (01:49:50):
They say I'm a hYP o condreact.

Speaker 1 (01:49:53):
Went over better yesterday? Well shut up to don't crap
on your own song, chick Scott Lacoma. I think I
got it.

Speaker 27 (01:50:08):
Oh, Tom had a torn retina.

Speaker 1 (01:50:11):
I probably got to.

Speaker 29 (01:50:16):
Josh had a bendictus and right risk start write a
soul and I.

Speaker 27 (01:50:26):
Bigatus.

Speaker 1 (01:50:28):
I gotta do a funny voice sometimes to get a laughing.

Speaker 29 (01:50:30):
Ain't shoot runkitis, meningitis, hepatitis. I googled the symptoms, Joe,
I'm pretty sure I'm their latest victim like a retired
old timer. I'm pretty sure I have Alzheimer's.

Speaker 1 (01:50:49):
Is longer than I remember.

Speaker 6 (01:50:50):
I thought it way longer.

Speaker 1 (01:50:53):
Let Josh neat verse. That's again the prelude.

Speaker 27 (01:50:58):
I watched it, Josh because he's such a smart asst scat.

Speaker 6 (01:51:03):
Now you want a little bit of the Yeah, I didn't.

Speaker 1 (01:51:06):
Know you're put me in after scanning, put me in coaching.
Oh rip zip you and.

Speaker 6 (01:51:15):
Don't do that with your hand. With a hand, stop it.
I would pull your round.

Speaker 36 (01:51:25):
A ram zip and herbal deaner hip hip and grabbed you.

Speaker 1 (01:51:38):
Got the slide whistle right?

Speaker 6 (01:51:39):
It wasn't not a slider. Where am I people to
listen to this?

Speaker 37 (01:51:44):
Show us in what nursing home? This is insane. Never
took a lesson the slide whistle?

Speaker 1 (01:51:55):
And he did?

Speaker 6 (01:51:58):
Do you think do the do the c F sound?

Speaker 1 (01:52:03):
What do you got Tom pulled something out.

Speaker 6 (01:52:04):
Of your ass.

Speaker 38 (01:52:07):
There's my cap, but I hear I'm producing to be quiet.
I'm a high pol Congre Jondren Brust. We've got an
according We'll make you feel at home. Play a play
a polka, playing the lunch kazoo.

Speaker 6 (01:52:26):
Do you want to.

Speaker 34 (01:52:28):
Why you got your only the most phallic intments around?

Speaker 6 (01:52:32):
You're doing one to hold obo out of their hole and.

Speaker 7 (01:52:37):
Throwing the kazoo.

Speaker 1 (01:52:38):
He doesn't want the kazoo.

Speaker 6 (01:52:40):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:52:40):
I don't need covid again, High.

Speaker 29 (01:52:43):
Pol Condrea my Risne with black cow. It's not cyclos somatic.
I'm a cycle.

Speaker 3 (01:52:54):
I mean.

Speaker 6 (01:53:01):
You're rolling against.

Speaker 21 (01:53:05):
I have two big round lumps. He finally gets a joke.
You're over there dicking around it.

Speaker 6 (01:53:20):
Finally gets a joke. He has lumps in his ball.

Speaker 1 (01:53:22):
Sut I heard it.

Speaker 6 (01:53:23):
I could have that could affect any of us.

Speaker 1 (01:53:24):
He's too low.

Speaker 6 (01:53:25):
Sorry, there's me.

Speaker 1 (01:53:27):
You have Tom Green on next. It's not funny and
big Condrey, can you hide?

Speaker 2 (01:53:35):
Joe?

Speaker 6 (01:53:44):
There you go?

Speaker 1 (01:53:44):
Hung everyone? That good joke.

Speaker 34 (01:53:47):
Maybe the best morning radio I've ever done. If that's
what we're calling us this, you're welcome, dan oh I
don't know that I'm going to be able to make
it to the show.

Speaker 6 (01:54:00):
Now, let's let's move forward here, Christie, they'll duselves. We
have a comedian Joe Dombrowski joining us in the studio.
But Christy, when do you want to go back to
the sleep thing or are we done with that? There's more.

Speaker 10 (01:54:12):
Yeah, some health experts say blue light emitted from our
electronic devices disrupt our melatonin production.

Speaker 6 (01:54:19):
And keep us awake.

Speaker 1 (01:54:20):
And that's a big thing that I that I doubted
very much. No, really, I'm a big believer in this.

Speaker 10 (01:54:26):
Well, doctor Brodister said this too is a myth.

Speaker 1 (01:54:28):
Josh, oh, I don't trust this doctor anymore exactly.

Speaker 10 (01:54:32):
My research team has found that electronics do not have
a significant impact on sleep.

Speaker 1 (01:54:36):
It's not him, it's his research.

Speaker 10 (01:54:37):
If a regular bedtime aligned with someone's natural sleep wake
cycle is maintained, so there is a caveat. But yeah,
he added, you still need to wind down before bed
with more passive activities like watching TV or listening to
a podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:54:51):
I see, all right, Well, just because a book is
on an electronic device doesn't make I see no difference.

Speaker 6 (01:55:00):
Yeah, I kind of see what you're saying there. I
guess mine's more mental, like if you're if you're doom scrolling,
it's just not good.

Speaker 10 (01:55:05):
For you, right, it gets into your head and then
you're It depends.

Speaker 8 (01:55:08):
Yeah, it depends what you're watching. You don't want to
watch the news under any circumstances.

Speaker 34 (01:55:12):
There's also a difference between you having your phone right
up to your face and watching a TV in a
wall nine feet away, right, I would think.

Speaker 10 (01:55:19):
And then finally, the phenomenon wearing couples sleep in separate
beds or bedrooms called the sleep divorce. What doctor Gratiser
approves of this stress, saying there is strong evidence that
factors like movement, noise, and temperature imbalances from a bed
partner can disrupt your sleep quality.

Speaker 8 (01:55:34):
What that makes it, that's has to become a big thing.
The term sleep divorce, I think is kind of stupid
but dramatic. Right, yeah, yeah, it costs me a quarter
of a million dollars, laugh it up.

Speaker 6 (01:55:46):
Yeah, go ahead. I wonder if there'd be any this
is gonna get me in trouble? Oh, lay it on.

Speaker 1 (01:55:54):
Do you think that would be different with the statistically
with gay couples.

Speaker 34 (01:55:59):
What's that we don't sleep? We just do coking, right,
I got How did you know about that? I did
know because I saw your asshole dragon.

Speaker 6 (01:56:20):
You canna say any damn thing you want.

Speaker 13 (01:56:24):
We don't want to know where that guitar is. Amy,
I know you've been waiting for it all morning. Coming
up next, Pat and Christy swap shirts. Come on back
for that here on the Bob and Tom Show. Good morning.
I hope you have some great things planned for this

(01:56:46):
fourth of July. This is the Bob and Tom Show,
and this is Christopher here in the Bob and Tom studios.
Here it is Christy and Pat swap shirts.

Speaker 1 (01:56:55):
Ladies and gentlemen. Call your friends, Call your neighbors, Wake
your grandma, because it's.

Speaker 6 (01:56:59):
Time on YouTube.

Speaker 1 (01:57:01):
Yes, Christy and Pat Godwin have switched shirts. It's pretty
cute and Pats Here comes Pat right now. Lovely, Wow,
a little bit of cleavage it all out? Holy hell.

Speaker 6 (01:57:22):
Now it's a I called it a hippie chick shoulders.

Speaker 1 (01:57:29):
It's got a very.

Speaker 6 (01:57:30):
Help me here, Crystal. Oh yeah, Holy hell?

Speaker 8 (01:57:34):
What is the name of this type of blouse?

Speaker 10 (01:57:38):
Is a crop top and it's an off the shoulder
crop top.

Speaker 1 (01:57:42):
Pat has pulled it down so you can see both
of his what's what's the what's the.

Speaker 6 (01:57:46):
Tattoo in your right arm?

Speaker 1 (01:57:48):
On my right arm is a Celtic knot this one?

Speaker 11 (01:57:51):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (01:57:51):
The son?

Speaker 6 (01:57:52):
No, I swear I'm looking right at the sun.

Speaker 8 (01:57:54):
Yeah you are, and the daughter and it's it's a
very flowery shirt.

Speaker 1 (01:58:01):
Is it comfortable?

Speaker 4 (01:58:02):
No?

Speaker 1 (01:58:03):
Okay, all right? Sorry? Paul, Indy s white, motorcyclessy leather.

Speaker 6 (01:58:09):
Paul Paul and white and motorcyclist wear leather because cheffon wrinkles.

Speaker 8 (01:58:16):
You know, we need to one break, we need to
have need to have bat sing like his best ever,
so that it's in perpetuity posted with no explanation As
to White, he stressed like this, that.

Speaker 1 (01:58:33):
Would be funny. The collar is good on you.

Speaker 6 (01:58:36):
Yeah, yeah, it's very white with less hair, I mean
with more hair. Excuse me, sorry, sorry, Christy had a
lot of hair on.

Speaker 1 (01:58:50):
No, no, I met, I got it.

Speaker 6 (01:58:51):
I had it backwards, was going by to White.

Speaker 1 (01:58:54):
I didn't even see whoa you smell good.

Speaker 6 (01:58:58):
This smells good?

Speaker 14 (01:58:58):
So do you thank you?

Speaker 11 (01:59:00):
Now?

Speaker 1 (01:59:00):
Christy is shirt so once again it looks like you
just came from the kiln.

Speaker 6 (01:59:06):
Yeah, I was throwing clay. Oh yes, that's what that,
Or you.

Speaker 8 (01:59:12):
Just had an encounter with some guy and you woke
up and you can't find your clothes, or they've been
ripped of shreads, and you know, in the in the
heat of passion and you're just wearing Oh is.

Speaker 6 (01:59:23):
This one of your shirts? It's a little big on
me because you're so muscular and chesty. Oh should I butt?

Speaker 1 (01:59:30):
Should I button these buttons near the top or should
I just you know, let it hang out? Okay, I
make the coffee. This is my new favorite part of
our show, Tom talking like a woman. You're so chesty.
I hope it's okay. I used your toothbrush. It's not okay,
No onrushare toothbrush.

Speaker 6 (01:59:53):
Never I was detailing underneath my nipples.

Speaker 1 (01:59:57):
Drink a bottle of vodka, detailing under nipples with a
I know, talking about I thought I thought.

Speaker 8 (02:00:05):
It might change the guy's midle that It's okay, as
long as it wasn't in your mouth. Speaking of things
that are in your mouth, we have a really interesting story.
It's better about about tongues.

Speaker 6 (02:00:18):
Should we should we get comfortable?

Speaker 8 (02:00:21):
I think we have to make fat do Like his
funniest song ever, I don't have one of those episodes
that it makes makes.

Speaker 6 (02:00:30):
I think we should have you should have to do
something very earnest, sort of very What would be the
most life? Oh no, no, on d Chick McGee on Instagram.
Here it counts.

Speaker 8 (02:00:44):
Did you get did you get Christy in his shirt?
Also so you can have the comparison there? Get there
they're together? Get that shot.

Speaker 6 (02:00:51):
Okay, oh boy, they have switch shirts.

Speaker 1 (02:00:55):
Okay, that's a lot less a pad. He'll like that better,
thank you.

Speaker 6 (02:00:58):
Okay, Now what what is?

Speaker 1 (02:01:00):
What is your most earnest song? Pat Well?

Speaker 27 (02:01:03):
I have a lot of serious songs from when I
first started in the business. For ten years I was
a serious songwriter. I became got things, got quirk.

Speaker 6 (02:01:10):
Here how about do you know Christina Aguileras I am beautiful?
I am beautiful, weird whisper, hmmm.

Speaker 1 (02:01:26):
I feel pretty? Oh so pretty?

Speaker 6 (02:01:31):
How about that John one? That's uh that is guitar
bassed brother than your love song? Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 1 (02:01:40):
Chick's got to sing though as I happen, I'm way early.

Speaker 6 (02:01:46):
Oh it's so so nice guitar.

Speaker 1 (02:01:49):
The words I have to say, the well simple true.

Speaker 6 (02:01:55):
Man, you're wearing a dress. There's no way Elton would
say that's too gay.

Speaker 3 (02:02:12):
Love, Izy, open.

Speaker 1 (02:02:14):
And beyond gay.

Speaker 3 (02:02:18):
This is what we came here for.

Speaker 28 (02:02:23):
No one could offer you more, do you know what
I mean? Your eyes really.

Speaker 1 (02:02:35):
See and then the kids start playing in the surf.

Speaker 6 (02:02:42):
And no piano. I mean it's great, it's beautiful, Leslie Duncan.
Thanks beautiful as you, Thank you very much, and we're lovely.

Speaker 1 (02:02:49):
We'll just post that with no explanation at all.

Speaker 20 (02:02:52):
There you go.

Speaker 8 (02:02:54):
And pronoun or something or once again. The Pat and
Christy have switched shirts, and Pat is wearing.

Speaker 1 (02:03:02):
For the day.

Speaker 20 (02:03:02):
No, not for the day.

Speaker 6 (02:03:05):
I meant you're comfortable, Christy, I am comfortable.

Speaker 10 (02:03:10):
Yeah, there's a lot of elastic in that shirt.

Speaker 8 (02:03:12):
Now, we promised a new word, a new fun fact,
and I just thought this was so so interesting. Christy,
you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 10 (02:03:22):
Yeah, that familiar wavy blob of toothpaste on your toothbrush.

Speaker 6 (02:03:25):
You don't know what it's called about.

Speaker 36 (02:03:26):
You know what?

Speaker 3 (02:03:27):
That's called a.

Speaker 1 (02:03:29):
Good word, But that's not it.

Speaker 6 (02:03:30):
No, it's called a nerdle.

Speaker 1 (02:03:32):
A nerdle I was very close.

Speaker 10 (02:03:34):
As a dental term. Nerdle has no confirmed origin. It
may be playful variation of nodule, meaning a small lump.
The earliest known use is linking the word to toothpaste,
though appeared in a nineteen sixty eight ad with the
line a nerdle a day keeps the dragon away. I'm
surprised you didn't know about that, Tom in nineteen nineties.

Speaker 1 (02:03:54):
You ever heard this word? How about the mascot nerdle
the turtle?

Speaker 9 (02:03:57):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:03:57):
It was you're you're?

Speaker 12 (02:03:59):
What is it?

Speaker 6 (02:03:59):
It was your you? What I mean?

Speaker 8 (02:04:01):
Admittedly, nerdle sounds like a.

Speaker 1 (02:04:05):
Like a you know what? You just got a text
that said, what was it from?

Speaker 2 (02:04:09):
Andy?

Speaker 1 (02:04:11):
Have pat come home? Come home and see me immediately? Yes,
I just saw the text a little bit he said.

Speaker 10 (02:04:20):
He said, isn't that the second lunch blouse that you
wore when we went out on our date?

Speaker 6 (02:04:25):
On the second date?

Speaker 27 (02:04:26):
Oh, this is your second dayture. Well, thank god, it's
not your third Dature.

Speaker 6 (02:04:31):
Ripped off, islizing I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (02:04:39):
So.

Speaker 10 (02:04:39):
The American Dental Association in the nineteen nineties officially adopted
the term nerdle to describe the proper portion of toothpaste.
Who knew, but public awareness of the word surge during
a legal dispute between Colgate and Glaxcows Smith Klein over
the right to display the iconic tricolored Nerdle image and advertising.

Speaker 1 (02:04:58):
Oh you, we're all familiar with that.

Speaker 6 (02:05:00):
No we're not what that? Yeah, that famous ad with
the colored you see it in almost every toothpaste picture.
The case ended.

Speaker 8 (02:05:09):
Colgate made a mint off that lawsuit.

Speaker 1 (02:05:12):
What do you check? What are you doing?

Speaker 6 (02:05:23):
I saw that, I saw that three colored girdle.

Speaker 3 (02:05:26):
Ain't fooling me.

Speaker 1 (02:05:27):
You're making a political statement. Yeah, who's this guy? Earlier
this show?

Speaker 8 (02:05:33):
Remember the whole there was that whole thing about you.

Speaker 6 (02:05:35):
What was the joke?

Speaker 1 (02:05:36):
But was it?

Speaker 6 (02:05:38):
Was it striped? Wasn't there some toothpaste? It is that
still author Was it like gleam or something?

Speaker 2 (02:05:45):
It was?

Speaker 6 (02:05:46):
Yeah, there it is.

Speaker 1 (02:05:49):
That's crazy, isn't it.

Speaker 6 (02:05:51):
Oh that looks like that's the that looks like a
French flag. That name red, white and blue.

Speaker 1 (02:05:55):
You know how long this type of toothpaste is more
expensive because yeah, long it takes them to get into
the tube possible. Wow, Wow, Tom, it's.

Speaker 6 (02:06:06):
The red, white and blue and that's that was the
origin of Nerdle.

Speaker 8 (02:06:10):
Well okay, apparently I mean.

Speaker 10 (02:06:13):
A I says Nerdle is a small plastic pellet used
as raw material in the plastics industry.

Speaker 6 (02:06:18):
That's interesting.

Speaker 1 (02:06:21):
What does a I know?

Speaker 6 (02:06:22):
I know everything? Now what do you what do you
refer to it?

Speaker 1 (02:06:25):
Josh? When you put that on your tube? Is that
like a load?

Speaker 6 (02:06:29):
Yes? Yes, so I'm gonna squirt a load onto my
tube brush and I'm gonna ram it into my mouth. Laundry,
I'll dumple load in there and hacking on this load
oil boil. How much give me that blouse? I need
to wear it because I'm constantly putting loads in my mouth.

Speaker 27 (02:06:55):
I want to hear a seven second song. Yes, right
here it goes woman and man shirt.

Speaker 29 (02:07:01):
Very sexy about a man and a woman shirt is
something you hide from your wife.

Speaker 13 (02:07:09):
We're coming right back with more of the best of
The Bob and Tom Show on this Friday. Greg Han
and Henry Phillips are coming up in just a couple
of minutes. But next comedian Dustin Nickerson. This is the
Bob and Tom Show. Welcome back. This is the Bob

(02:07:30):
and Tom Show on this fourth of July. This is
Christopher and the Bob and Tom Studios. Here's a segment
with comedian Dustin Nickerson. Our guest is a comedian, Dustin Nickerson.
Our goal is never to let him talk. Yeah, speaking
of bad acting, let's bring in Dustin Nickerson. Oh sorry, no, no,
I'm happy to do it.

Speaker 1 (02:07:46):
Are you a bad actor?

Speaker 6 (02:07:47):
Oh I'm terrible.

Speaker 12 (02:07:48):
Yeah.

Speaker 26 (02:07:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:07:51):
You all live in California, I do. Yeah, you're married.
I'm trying to remember this.

Speaker 6 (02:07:55):
I'm married. I've been married for twenty years. I have
three children. Yeah, we got married, young face. Oh, I
mean I wouldn't twenty years. That's good, No, it's good.

Speaker 24 (02:08:06):
I most of the time, the Internet just tells me,
tells me my face looks like Gary Ridgeway, the Green
River Killer.

Speaker 39 (02:08:11):
So that's.

Speaker 1 (02:08:14):
That's a bad way to go to customs.

Speaker 24 (02:08:16):
Yeah, thankfully. A lot of people my age don't know
who that is. So it's really important to me that
he doesn't get a good documentary. Oh and but if
he does get it, then I could be the bad
actor in it.

Speaker 6 (02:08:26):
But there's a great graphic novel about him. But I'm
probably one of twelve people who wrote there. Yeah, somebody
like graphic novel, like somebody illustrated it. Yeah, it's dark Man.

Speaker 8 (02:08:36):
Which a mass murderers Green River River.

Speaker 6 (02:08:39):
His name is Gary Ridgeway.

Speaker 26 (02:08:41):
Yeah.

Speaker 24 (02:08:41):
He coincidentally, it was like like ten minutes from where
I grew up in the Northwest. Oh yeah, we got
a lot of strong family connections.

Speaker 6 (02:08:51):
What would you do if.

Speaker 1 (02:08:53):
You're going somewhere and some guy will go.

Speaker 6 (02:08:56):
I'd be like, I know, I'm surprised. I'm out too.
Can you carry that? I killed so many people?

Speaker 8 (02:09:05):
Okay, someone just showed me a picture the resemblance. It's
pretty strong.

Speaker 24 (02:09:09):
Oh yeah, wait till I take the hat off with
the messy hair, and I mean down to the hairline.

Speaker 9 (02:09:13):
It is.

Speaker 11 (02:09:17):
You have this?

Speaker 1 (02:09:17):
Do you have the same voice?

Speaker 24 (02:09:19):
I don't know him, and I don't talk as much
as we used to. Here, imagine that you're hearing me
through a phone in a glass window. Is that what
his voice sounds like?

Speaker 6 (02:09:32):
I see you. You're three kids? Three kids? Yeah, and
we had our kids young too. So I have a
kid who's a senior in high school. He's getting recruited
to be a college athlete, and uh he's he's like
a D one college athlete. He's a track track star.

Speaker 24 (02:09:52):
Which is funny that every time I tell people that,
there's that very similar response where people look at me
and they go, really.

Speaker 6 (02:10:00):
That's great. But I don't even tell them what's sport,
but they just look at me and go, huh.

Speaker 24 (02:10:09):
Yours, like for sure your child it's uh but yeah,
he's he's a track star.

Speaker 6 (02:10:15):
He's a what events the mile and the eight hundred?

Speaker 1 (02:10:19):
Yeah, oh okay, it makes a little more sense.

Speaker 24 (02:10:21):
Yeah, I mean, I mean running is the sport of
last resort. It's the sport that every other sport has
running plus something else, you know. But yeah, thankfully he
stopped doing like the long he used to do the
two mile. I know of you guys have ever been
to a track event. I know how you guys hang
around high schools, but the two mile is eight laps

(02:10:44):
and they have to tell them what lap they're on,
like they have to give them the which it is
a boring event and they're not going that fast. So
you watch it like the wave, like just your kid
comes around every minute or so like, yeah, he's kind
of look at your phone for a little while.

Speaker 6 (02:11:06):
Well, I don't know if you know this or not.

Speaker 1 (02:11:08):
I know you don't know this, Dustin, you happened to
be in the presence of one of the greatest cross country.

Speaker 8 (02:11:14):
Harrier harrier harriers. I was a hairless harrier in the
high school competition. You're a cross country guy.

Speaker 1 (02:11:21):
Yeah, but you're precisely correct though when you say that's
it was the support of last resorts. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (02:11:26):
I realized that my abilities in soccer were such that
I was not going to be playing much. Yeah, so
cross country it is.

Speaker 6 (02:11:34):
We've noticed that.

Speaker 24 (02:11:34):
I mean, the reward for being a great runner, Like
when you line up for a race, the reward for
being the best runner is that you get to stop
running first.

Speaker 6 (02:11:42):
Yeah, that's it. Congratulations, you get to be done. They
still have to So is he hitting a scholarship?

Speaker 24 (02:11:51):
He's he's right on that fringe right now where he's like, uh,
a D one is like sure, we'll take you, and
a D two would love to have him, you know
which is He's like, uh, I don't know, it looks wise.
I guess you'd you'd call that like a six, you
know what I mean? Like, you know, you're like, like
it would be like charity for the D one school

(02:12:11):
to be like, sure, they're playing a little hard to
get you know, but.

Speaker 8 (02:12:14):
I forgot which mass murder does he resembles?

Speaker 12 (02:12:17):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (02:12:18):
None, yet he hasn't fully finished. He's not a fully.

Speaker 24 (02:12:22):
Oh yeah, o J actually, which is surprise makes sense
to the athletics.

Speaker 6 (02:12:31):
Did not see that really?

Speaker 8 (02:12:33):
Yeah, that's fine. I fully approve that we're into Is
okay with me? No, we have We're speaking with a comedian,
Dustin Nickerson, father of three Uh boys, girls.

Speaker 6 (02:12:45):
What's happening? Boy? Girl?

Speaker 11 (02:12:46):
Girl?

Speaker 1 (02:12:47):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:12:47):
I have a teenage girl. Uh two of them?

Speaker 1 (02:12:50):
There.

Speaker 6 (02:12:50):
I like he gets people raised teenage girls here. Yeah,
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (02:12:54):
Yeah, yeah, I'm young.

Speaker 6 (02:12:57):
My dad has a kid that's also a senior in
high school.

Speaker 1 (02:12:59):
Oh, I've also got a fifth grader.

Speaker 3 (02:13:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 24 (02:13:02):
Yeah, she's had a kid under fourteen since nineteen ninety.
This is amazing that you're telling me all these details too.
I mean, of course you would know them more than me.
All Right, I'm gonna add this bit because it just
sounds like a little like dad.

Speaker 6 (02:13:20):
Yeah, So I'm people give you these warnings about teenage girls.

Speaker 10 (02:13:24):
How old is she?

Speaker 6 (02:13:25):
She's fifteen? Yeah, And they're like, buckle up, that's the energy, like.

Speaker 1 (02:13:29):
Get ready, man, you're going in the hill.

Speaker 24 (02:13:32):
But and like I'm here to tell you it's worse
than they say. I can't believe her ability. This is
what I wasn't ready for she can ruin any nice situation,
Like things can be going well in the house and

(02:13:52):
then she enters and now they're bad.

Speaker 6 (02:13:54):
I think of her. She's like this mean roomba in
the house just comes and makes a mess of things.

Speaker 24 (02:14:03):
Like things were going well, but did you have this,
Like uh, when we had young kids, it was the
you don't fight with the young kid. You fight with
the spouse through the young kid. That's fun. With the baby,
You're like, it's not your fault. Mom's in a bad
mood today. But now I'm watching the kid fight the
spouse and like, that's crazy to watch your kid be

(02:14:26):
that mean to your wife. Like this is my high
school sweetheart over twenty years, and the way she'll talk
to my wife, I'll like gasp with my mouth open,
like I've always wanted to talk to her like that.

Speaker 6 (02:14:41):
You know, you're like, no, no, you're in trouble. But
finish that time.

Speaker 24 (02:14:46):
Yeah, yeah, you're like giving her notes for it next time, yeah,
next time.

Speaker 6 (02:14:51):
Reminder of this.

Speaker 8 (02:14:54):
Our guest is a comedian Dustin Nickerson. Willie G is here,
Patty G's over there. We've once again put pat in
the old COVID room.

Speaker 1 (02:15:03):
We used to call it.

Speaker 8 (02:15:04):
Used to we used to call it the Nuremberg Room.

Speaker 6 (02:15:06):
No you did.

Speaker 8 (02:15:09):
Then we received a correction that at that trial they
worked behind the glass. Uh, but we have everybody else's
here also. That would include a little.

Speaker 6 (02:15:17):
Josh over there.

Speaker 1 (02:15:18):
Oh I'm a little Josh.

Speaker 6 (02:15:21):
No, no size for me. Uh, medium chick, but big chick.

Speaker 1 (02:15:26):
What do you got these? Getting skinnier chick?

Speaker 6 (02:15:30):
Willy?

Speaker 35 (02:15:30):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:15:30):
Will?

Speaker 6 (02:15:30):
He likes to call me a big dog. I like
that big big Throw a big dog in there, everything
like that big dog, big dog. What was your nickname
in high school? Lux Chuck? Chucks? That's a great name.

Speaker 1 (02:15:44):
Is there a restaurant somewhere called.

Speaker 6 (02:15:45):
Chucks the Locks?

Speaker 1 (02:15:46):
I don't, I don't think so. There's a sporting goods
story I think called Chucks somewhere. Would you like to
if I could get no chicks? Actually it's called chicks, Yeah,
sporting goods.

Speaker 9 (02:15:56):
Yes?

Speaker 6 (02:15:56):
Would you like a Chucks the luxe cap if I
could get one?

Speaker 1 (02:16:00):
No, because you're going to be tied up with Pat
Godwin hotel pool for.

Speaker 6 (02:16:04):
The foresee of all the posters. Okay, fine, okay, good.

Speaker 8 (02:16:07):
Let's let's go to Christy Leaf for a second and
see what's going on over there, and only fans model.

Speaker 10 (02:16:11):
It's facing criminal mischief charges after going on what police
are calling a urine spree at a New Hampshire hotel.
My goodness, Miss Kelly ted Ford allegedly urinated into a
hotel room's air conditioning unit in a Marriott hotel in Keene,
New Hampshire.

Speaker 1 (02:16:29):
It just paused for one second.

Speaker 8 (02:16:31):
If she's standing over an air conditioning unit urinating, indit,
couldn't you conceivably get electrocuted?

Speaker 1 (02:16:38):
I don't know.

Speaker 6 (02:16:39):
I don't know. Now with the consistency of my stream
that's now as solid stream, it might arc between the Seriously,
couldn't you get electrocuted?

Speaker 1 (02:16:52):
Isn't that the way they the I don't know if
it's an urban legend, but someone who was ineburated was
a drawn was ping outside and he had hit a
power line, had hit a rail and electrocuted him one
of those GFI circuits on the A And in any event,
I'm sorry. So she's peeing into the air.

Speaker 10 (02:17:11):
And then apparently deliberately relieved herself on a comforter, curtains
and a bible. Geez, she's not done, Miss Tedford, who
uses the handle Kinky Kelly on only fans.

Speaker 6 (02:17:25):
That's with the K by the way. Also, this is horrific.
What was that handle again? It's yes, k I n
k I.

Speaker 1 (02:17:41):
Okay.

Speaker 10 (02:17:43):
She's accused of defecating on the floor, placing the waist
into a toilet tank known as the upper decker.

Speaker 1 (02:17:50):
Yes, that's not how you do the upper decker by
getting up on the toilet.

Speaker 10 (02:17:53):
Well, Miss Tedford was recently arrested for spraying day.

Speaker 8 (02:17:58):
Yeah, it worked the way you back in our day.
So she's so the thing is she's videotaping all this
and posting it. That's right, and there's a market for this.

Speaker 13 (02:18:09):
Say, we're coming right back, so stand by and hang
on to something. Greg Han is coming up next here
on the Bob and Tom Show. This is the Bob
and Tom Show, Happy Independence Day, and this is Christopher

(02:18:29):
and the Bob and Tom Studios. The gang is back
in here live on Monday morning. Here it is a
segment with comedian Greg Han.

Speaker 1 (02:18:36):
Tom, we have a special guest, we certainly do. He
is comedian Greg Han. Greg, how are you so? Just
credit all excited? Holy smarts? That feel great?

Speaker 22 (02:18:44):
Hi to all the working people out there right all right? Oh, yeah,
I used to work. I invented the one man layoff.

Speaker 1 (02:18:51):
That's right, my power t I used to squirt. Come on, everybody,
Hi to the work at people. God, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 38 (02:18:58):
We should have been truckers right the highways down the road,
talking to each other and sorry, pulling the truck stop shower.

Speaker 1 (02:19:05):
Eight in a fresh hot shower shower.

Speaker 22 (02:19:07):
Eight we'll rescue pitbull trying to get those yurdl cakes
there by nine?

Speaker 1 (02:19:11):
Come on, all right, what are you caring today?

Speaker 6 (02:19:16):
Urinal cakes? Haven't I heard?

Speaker 1 (02:19:19):
I gotta get in there by nine by nine? Okay,
good man, I got some one.

Speaker 6 (02:19:23):
You're too late, that's right, that's right.

Speaker 1 (02:19:25):
I got some sleep.

Speaker 11 (02:19:26):
Man.

Speaker 22 (02:19:26):
I took my periwinkle root knocks your right out. You
gotta wear a diaper, right, I'm excited. Just had my
dw I reduced to a d w C driving well costapated.

Speaker 1 (02:19:38):
Come on, joke fired up.

Speaker 6 (02:19:40):
Hey you very much. We have Christie Lee at the
news desk. We've got a lot to get to here.

Speaker 1 (02:19:45):
What's going on?

Speaker 10 (02:19:46):
A new survey has been pointed when folks start to
panic about their smartphone battery dying.

Speaker 6 (02:19:53):
Anybody want to take a guest on the percentage uh.

Speaker 1 (02:19:57):
Yeah, right around there. Thirty three.

Speaker 8 (02:19:59):
When does the light go on? I haven't gone twenty
Uh doesn't the thing? At twenty percent it.

Speaker 1 (02:20:03):
Turns the red? Yeah, I don't know if anything like so.

Speaker 10 (02:20:06):
At nineteen chick, you're very close. Thirty eight percent. Ah
is the dip before panic sets in and people seek
out a way to get it charged. Thirty five percent
of respondents feel content waiting until the juice runs to
below twenty percent before thinking about finding a way to
charge their phone. Less than fifteen percent said they do
not worry about their phone's battery until it dips below ten.

(02:20:30):
Charging anxiety stronger among younger generations, with worries setting in
for Gen z ers and millennials at forty five percent
battery life, I don't even look at my phone. I
don't even have any idea.

Speaker 6 (02:20:41):
You ever run it out?

Speaker 12 (02:20:43):
No?

Speaker 39 (02:20:43):
Have you?

Speaker 1 (02:20:44):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (02:20:44):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:20:45):
Really sure, I've run it out.

Speaker 8 (02:20:48):
I believe that you get This is why I don't
want to get an electric car. Yeah, I'm going to
be that.

Speaker 1 (02:20:53):
I'm that guy and he could make it to Chicago.

Speaker 6 (02:20:56):
I forgot to Oh I forgot to charge. Yeah.

Speaker 8 (02:21:00):
I at this point, though, there are places to charge
it virtually everywhere. I mean it at the airport.

Speaker 6 (02:21:06):
Now you can go direct as long as you have
a if you have a cake.

Speaker 1 (02:21:09):
That's one of my favorite stories about you. Didn't you
get into a fight with a fellow traveler at some
airport about I.

Speaker 8 (02:21:15):
Did hogging out? Let go ahead, tell us the story.

Speaker 6 (02:21:20):
I had a what's that?

Speaker 1 (02:21:24):
What do you call it?

Speaker 8 (02:21:24):
I had a plug. It was like a little bigger
than a golf ball, but it had You had a
phone two inputs on it to USB inputs. And there
was this lady sitting there and she had a thing
plugged in with it. And I said, okay, can I
I got a splitter?

Speaker 30 (02:21:41):
Here?

Speaker 6 (02:21:41):
Can I put this in here?

Speaker 1 (02:21:42):
No, I don't blame her. Snows you lose?

Speaker 6 (02:21:47):
I said, what airline do you want? Oh?

Speaker 8 (02:21:48):
Yeah, they're famous for crashing. Man, Oh my god, do
you actually say no?

Speaker 1 (02:21:53):
I should have.

Speaker 6 (02:21:54):
She's just said no, and you were polite and backed off.

Speaker 1 (02:21:56):
Yeah, and there was no There was nowhere else? And
how does she say no again?

Speaker 3 (02:22:01):
Now?

Speaker 1 (02:22:03):
Man? Terrible?

Speaker 8 (02:22:05):
Got to use that phone. I'm sure to charge it
up so you can call bitch Fest twenty five.

Speaker 6 (02:22:10):
Oh hey, you've never been to Bitchest. You're the keynote speaker.

Speaker 1 (02:22:14):
The last airport I was in the seats that you
sit in the waight had chargers.

Speaker 11 (02:22:18):
Yeah, this was.

Speaker 8 (02:22:20):
This was one of those places I think I forget
where they had like a bar kind of thing before seats.
They were late to the party. Yeah, but now they're everywhere.
And remember when you just have to buy Wi Fi
at the airport?

Speaker 1 (02:22:33):
Oh yeah, yeah, that scam. You had to buy it
for a year and then what is it?

Speaker 8 (02:22:37):
Bogo or Go go or in flight? Whoever owned that?
I hope they were publicly hanged. Wi Fi should seems
a little no, Wi Fi should dream and all right, hey,
why are they hanging those guys? Something about Wi Fi
at the airport making people look, I need it for
the next forty minutes. Oh you have to buy it
for a year, thanks very much. When you're paying taxes

(02:23:00):
for those airports, they can afford to put Wi Fi in.

Speaker 10 (02:23:02):
Okay, Lord, are you looking for a new flavor of toothpaste?

Speaker 1 (02:23:06):
I'm looking for anything, Christy, anything you got I'm looking? Okay,
you let me know.

Speaker 10 (02:23:12):
Well, Kentucky Fried Chicken is launching a fried Chicken flavored toothpaste.

Speaker 6 (02:23:16):
I'm gonna I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (02:23:17):
I love you know, and you having said that Kentucky
fried chicken is on my radar for lunch.

Speaker 6 (02:23:23):
That sounds of all, but I don't like it. My
toothpaste I wanted.

Speaker 3 (02:23:26):
I looked.

Speaker 6 (02:23:26):
I love Kentucky, like extra crispy or regular regular regular.

Speaker 8 (02:23:31):
Don't care for Extra christ either regular. I want to
get a hold of some of this and try it.

Speaker 1 (02:23:36):
Hmm, got horrible.

Speaker 6 (02:23:38):
No, it doesn't sound flavor. Would you rather have?

Speaker 1 (02:23:43):
Would you rather have? Are you insane?

Speaker 10 (02:23:45):
You imagine your breath after you brush your teeth with this.

Speaker 1 (02:23:50):
Chicken chicken?

Speaker 10 (02:23:52):
We're gonna have gravy mouthwash?

Speaker 7 (02:23:54):
Come on, I don't know that was on the.

Speaker 6 (02:24:01):
Yeah, I sure, I don't want. I don't want Coldgate
flavored chicken. I'll tell you that. I don't know what
it is.

Speaker 1 (02:24:08):
The gravy in the masha, but it's amazing. It's good.

Speaker 6 (02:24:11):
How did they do that?

Speaker 1 (02:24:12):
And the coal slaw? Don't get me started about the
it's good now, my o coleslaw, Oh slaw, Oh, I
love you.

Speaker 10 (02:24:19):
The fast food chain has teamed up with Oral Care
brand His Smile to turn its signature eleven herbs and
spices into a fluoried free toothpaste, KFC said in a
press release, quote like biting into a hot, juicy piece
of KFC original recipe.

Speaker 6 (02:24:35):
No, no, it's not.

Speaker 10 (02:24:37):
Baste is irresistible, coating your teeth and flavor while leaving
your mouth feeling fresh and Cleansingow.

Speaker 6 (02:24:43):
Wow, it's molar licking good.

Speaker 1 (02:24:47):
I really want to try this. Do you ever lock
anybody's molars? Tom, you get in there in a big
French castle. Yes, you're in love your suck on their tongue.

Speaker 6 (02:24:57):
You've done this?

Speaker 8 (02:24:59):
No, Greg, I'm sorry. These pervs are great.

Speaker 10 (02:25:04):
Toothpaste is available for thirteen dollars on his smiles website
for a limited time. A matching electric toothbrush is being
sold for fifty nine dollars.

Speaker 3 (02:25:12):
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 6 (02:25:13):
There it is.

Speaker 1 (02:25:13):
There's a picture of it. Got the kernel right now,
and I take it all back. I'm not using the toothpaste,
but by god, I'm using that toothbrush. Rocks. That looks
very cool.

Speaker 3 (02:25:22):
Look at that.

Speaker 6 (02:25:23):
The kernel's on there and everything.

Speaker 1 (02:25:25):
Imagine a new girl coming in your bathroom.

Speaker 22 (02:25:27):
What the hell they're just ripping off my toothpaste. I
came out with gameish corn hen.

Speaker 1 (02:25:33):
Yeah, is that right? I figured, will you try it
if we get it?

Speaker 10 (02:25:41):
Yeah, sure, I'll try it.

Speaker 1 (02:25:42):
I'll try it. You're not supposed to you're not supposed
to swallow toothpaste though, right, No, no, but it's.

Speaker 8 (02:25:47):
Just a flavor in your mouth.

Speaker 1 (02:25:48):
Wait.

Speaker 10 (02:25:48):
I don't understand how it can taste like chicken and
leave a fresh, clean taste in your mouth.

Speaker 6 (02:25:52):
I don't I don't know, But you and I jam
don't have to order. I despise mint. Yeah, I love it.

Speaker 8 (02:26:00):
I don't want I don't like mint gum, the great
taste of pine and whatever you're eating nothing mint ice cream,
chocolate chip.

Speaker 6 (02:26:10):
Mint chocolate chip was my favorite ice cream for years.

Speaker 1 (02:26:20):
Me on the show, I had no idea you like
mint chocolate chip? Give me the forms. Oh, I know?

Speaker 6 (02:26:24):
How can we take chalk and ruin it?

Speaker 1 (02:26:26):
Put mint in it?

Speaker 26 (02:26:27):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (02:26:28):
You know what this needs mint? Okay, what do you
guys do at all? As garden? You don't even eat
the mince?

Speaker 1 (02:26:35):
No those Andy's mit.

Speaker 6 (02:26:36):
No, you guys are wrong.

Speaker 1 (02:26:37):
If they put Kramel in there where the green thing is,
then you have something. Why don't they do that, Andy's
I bet they do?

Speaker 8 (02:26:45):
Now, hang on, don't bother man I'm ordering Andy's Caramel Mint.

Speaker 1 (02:26:48):
Don't bother me.

Speaker 10 (02:26:49):
Bad news just says they're already sold out of the toothpaste.

Speaker 1 (02:26:52):
What, yeah, we just found out about it. Well, you
know what, I got to go to the black market,
Andy's tall of fee crunch candies, Andy's karm go.

Speaker 8 (02:27:03):
On to tell Hooker to go on eBay and see
if we can get it. But it's got to be sealed.

Speaker 6 (02:27:07):
I don't want to get some guys, you know, taking
a syringe and jizzed it up.

Speaker 1 (02:27:13):
What what he said was he doesn't want any Kentucky
Fried Chicken toothpaste jizzed ump? Does everybody understand this?

Speaker 6 (02:27:22):
That's a taste.

Speaker 8 (02:27:22):
When you say it, it makes sense. Thank you, That's
what I thought. Go ahead to a jazz term. Comedian
Greg Hann has joined us in the studio. Show Greg
a handsome, handsome man, a single man.

Speaker 22 (02:27:33):
Oh yeah right, Well I got my girlfriend, Francine fart Weller. Yeah,
she's got a lot of talents. She can guess your
height within a foot. How about that chick?

Speaker 6 (02:27:42):
Damn fine work.

Speaker 11 (02:27:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:27:44):
Can I get a little drink over here, a little
smart cocktail? You know what I mean?

Speaker 22 (02:27:48):
Can I get a little fireball of the rocks with ice.
You gotta let the ladies know you're got a or
a drink. Yeah, it comes to alcohol tes.

Speaker 1 (02:28:00):
Vodka, thank you? Excited with some milk? How about that?

Speaker 3 (02:28:10):
That's good?

Speaker 22 (02:28:10):
Okay, that's in the a chattel for two with a steak.
I just ordered my male order bridesmaid. They're more fun.

Speaker 8 (02:28:21):
Greg is our guest, Ladies and gentlemen, not to be
missed live and in person.

Speaker 1 (02:28:27):
It's made. Thank you. How's the condo? The condo's nice.
You have a fashionable condo.

Speaker 22 (02:28:31):
And in the greater Miami here trying to get my
property tax lowered by telling him my place is haunted
didn't work anyway.

Speaker 6 (02:28:39):
Are you in the penthouse? Right?

Speaker 1 (02:28:40):
Yeah, that's fun.

Speaker 6 (02:28:41):
What floor are you on the top?

Speaker 1 (02:28:43):
You gotta h h.

Speaker 6 (02:28:44):
I don't know how many floors you're on. Are you
sure you look? You can look at the water.

Speaker 1 (02:28:52):
Oh yeah, I look at the water. That's great, it's beautiful.
He told me there aren't any mosquitos at that height.
That's what he keeps telling me. I don't believe him,
but that's what he said. Are the birds at that time?

Speaker 6 (02:29:00):
Go ahead?

Speaker 1 (02:29:01):
Just gigantic water birds or something you know, but you
know it's funny. What do you mean, like a water bird?
Those things? It was all those things they fly by.

Speaker 6 (02:29:10):
What do you got there?

Speaker 1 (02:29:11):
Go right past my bird feeder? Are you home? Your
home ever? Are you home?

Speaker 24 (02:29:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 5 (02:29:16):
Home?

Speaker 1 (02:29:17):
Not too much? Tell them how they're no mosquitos one
hundred feet No mosquitos up there, chicks. But there are yachts.
There's yachts that go by.

Speaker 22 (02:29:24):
Oh yeah, know how it is. I wave at him,
I wave at them. They don't wave back and give
him the finger long that's what they get. So wait
a second, stuck up. You're in the tenth floor and
it's one hundred feet high or low ceilings.

Speaker 1 (02:29:37):
Isn't it ten feet of floor?

Speaker 9 (02:29:39):
No?

Speaker 1 (02:29:39):
Yeah, standards ten feet of floor?

Speaker 12 (02:29:42):
Is there?

Speaker 1 (02:29:43):
Is there a thirteenth floor in your building?

Speaker 6 (02:29:44):
No house and the tenth floor?

Speaker 10 (02:29:48):
Tom, If they were in the penthouse and there were
thirteen floors, that would make no sense.

Speaker 8 (02:29:52):
If he was on the doors hotel we were in,
there was the thirteenth floor.

Speaker 1 (02:29:55):
Notice that.

Speaker 10 (02:29:56):
Yeah, a lot of hotels have a thirteenth floor.

Speaker 8 (02:29:59):
Okay, just scary. That's always the one that's haunted.

Speaker 6 (02:30:02):
I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (02:30:02):
Let's go back to the Silink Insurance News District. Christie
leeke we.

Speaker 10 (02:30:05):
Go Hey Publisher's Clearinghouse, the marketing and sweepstakes company known
for doling out large prize patrol checks, has filed for
Chapter eleven bankruptcy protection.

Speaker 6 (02:30:16):
Whoops Yeah.

Speaker 10 (02:30:18):
Publisher Publishers Clearinghouse said it was using the bankruptcy process
to quote finalize a shift away from its legacy business
of direct mail, retail merchandise, and magazine subscriptions to transition
to a pure digital advertising model.

Speaker 6 (02:30:36):
No, they're using bankruptcies that have to pay their bills.
Let's be honest here.

Speaker 10 (02:30:39):
Company set it plans to operate in a business as
usual manner throughout the bankruptcy process, noting that the Prize
Patrol team will continue to deliver awards across the United States.

Speaker 8 (02:30:51):
They have the big commercials with big oversized checks.

Speaker 10 (02:30:54):
And the big all the balloons and the confetti.

Speaker 1 (02:30:56):
And that was the big white panel van.

Speaker 31 (02:30:59):
You dec Publishers clearing House or somebody after your kid?

Speaker 1 (02:31:04):
Yeah, well so much for coming on board and Bob
and Tom Show sponsored. If it is if you heard
they're broke, if it's not Ed McMahon, they're taking your kid,
would you do that if they came and asked you
to replace the Ed McMahon, would you go across the
country and award people money because I would heck yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:31:23):
I don't see how they're gonna keep going to be
a sweet gig, right, i'd be. I'd be.

Speaker 8 (02:31:27):
I'm happy if veiled me money. And now they're still
they're still going out there giving people cash.

Speaker 1 (02:31:31):
Especially now that they're broke. Doesn't even to be fair. Yeah,
they're going to.

Speaker 6 (02:31:34):
Do a check or a rain check.

Speaker 1 (02:31:35):
Yeah, this might be good.

Speaker 22 (02:31:37):
Later on, I invested myself. I invest yeah, yeah, yeah,
I put all my money in artificial incontinence.

Speaker 1 (02:31:44):
That's a growth industry, is that right?

Speaker 6 (02:31:48):
Okay?

Speaker 8 (02:31:49):
There they're going out because no one's getting magazines anymore.

Speaker 1 (02:31:54):
I assume, well, I would assume you're correct, Yes, not
physical magazine, right, but how many magazines you have on
your phone? I'm gonna say fifteen, oh.

Speaker 6 (02:32:02):
More than that?

Speaker 1 (02:32:02):
Yeah, the boy loves magazines. I don't know what his
problem is. Magazines, newspapers, books, it's all that phone.

Speaker 6 (02:32:08):
It's amazing. But you pay for him.

Speaker 1 (02:32:09):
Yeah, yeah, the so called paywall. How many do you
have in your phone? Oh gosh, I don't know. Probably
about Sat fifteen twenty. Maybe yeah, Christian, I have two
play no Playgirl and horn Dog at.

Speaker 6 (02:32:27):
A Wall Street Journal.

Speaker 10 (02:32:28):
You Tools and Sugar Monthly, Yes, that's it, Cougar Monthly off.

Speaker 6 (02:32:34):
Boys Without Shirts.

Speaker 1 (02:32:35):
Finally, finally legal man Ace Player Weekly.

Speaker 8 (02:32:43):
By the way, if you've never seen the movie Sideways,
watch for the scene where he goes to order the magazine.

Speaker 1 (02:32:50):
It's as funny as it comes.

Speaker 10 (02:32:53):
Place in Florida arrested a man accused of stealing a
Rolls Royce that was running and unlocked from a Miami neighborhood.
According to authorities, the four hundred thousand dollars black badge
Rolls Royce was stolen from the luxury Parisio Bayview's.

Speaker 6 (02:33:09):
Condominiums and Edgewater.

Speaker 10 (02:33:11):
The owner the owner that sounds that name sounds like
an extra on Miami Vice. What was it Parissio Bayview's Condominiums.

Speaker 1 (02:33:20):
Yeah, he's dealing.

Speaker 10 (02:33:22):
The owner, Jonathan Sanchez, said he asked the valet to
watch his car while he went to retrieve his wallet,
leaving the car running and unlocked, but taking the key
with them. Mister Sanchez told.

Speaker 6 (02:33:32):
WTVJ TV's Our Middle Name.

Speaker 10 (02:33:36):
Minutes later, the valet called to tell him someone had
stolen his car.

Speaker 1 (02:33:40):
Nice work, Valet, thanks for I have a dumb I
have a really stupid question. That's the only kind.

Speaker 6 (02:33:45):
Why would you leave your car running this time of
year in Florida?

Speaker 1 (02:33:49):
Tom? How many times have you left your car running
in your lifetime going to an event constantly? Well, then
don't criticize these people. No matter what the temperature, hear
it off and walk go get you. You don't turn
it off at any time, regardless of the weather. It
can still be in the eighties in Florida, can still
be hot.

Speaker 6 (02:34:08):
This time of week. Works it like there right now.

Speaker 1 (02:34:09):
It's nice, but nobody's gonna nobody feels sorry for someone
who got a rolls Roy stole.

Speaker 10 (02:34:16):
Mister Yeah, Mister Sanchez and a friend tracked the car
to Little Haiti. Police responded to the scene apprehended a
thirty six year old suspect of mister James Brown.

Speaker 6 (02:34:26):
All right, the uh the council of Little Ladies coming
to order?

Speaker 1 (02:34:30):
What's our Let me guess the first item of business
has changed the name of this place, is that right? Okay?
All right, let's see what we.

Speaker 6 (02:34:38):
Can work on that.

Speaker 1 (02:34:39):
All right, General, where would you like to go with.
Let's go how about Springfield? How about that?

Speaker 8 (02:34:46):
All sympathy evaporate the minute, the minute you hear Rolls
Royce and Valet Park.

Speaker 10 (02:34:51):
Mister Brown was charged with grand theft of a vehicle,
resisting an officer without violence, and petty theft. According to authorities,
a suspect had quote walk stepped to the vehicle and
said this is my car, hopped in and drove.

Speaker 1 (02:35:03):
Off one alert valet.

Speaker 10 (02:35:07):
By the way, mister Sanchez crashed the vehicle several times,
causing significant damage.

Speaker 8 (02:35:14):
The one can only imagine the fender of a Rolls Royce.
That'll be thirty thousand dollars. Well, congratulations, sirs. Our guest
in the studio is that guy over there. He is
the great comedian Greg Han, one of my favorites.

Speaker 1 (02:35:25):
Thanks so much.

Speaker 8 (02:35:26):
Greg is on the road doing all kinds of great
bringing joy to the people. That's what you do, my friend,
the fun. Yeah, and your teeth look good too, Thanks
very much.

Speaker 22 (02:35:36):
You know everybody, I'm hampered by low IQ. Did you
know that I'm hampered by Lowe. The class they put
me in we played pin the Tail of Melvin. Come on,
go through the new material work with me.

Speaker 1 (02:35:48):
Maybe all of the stuff. Christy, what's in the news?
I don't know if I cared for that one, Christy.

Speaker 13 (02:35:57):
We're coming back with the last segment this morning. One
of the funniest comedians, Henry Phillips, is up next here
on The Bob and Tom Show. I hope you have
a great Fourth of July weekend. This is Christopher and
the Bob and Tom Studios and this is the best
of the Bob and Tom Show.

Speaker 6 (02:36:18):
Again.

Speaker 13 (02:36:18):
The gang is back in here on Monday morning. Let's
wrapped things up today with a segment from funny guy musician,
comedian Henry Phillips.

Speaker 8 (02:36:26):
Hello, Chick McGhee, we have a very special guest, Chick McGee,
a man who has been on the airwaves since the
nineteen seventies, that's right, and yet has never worn pants.

Speaker 6 (02:36:36):
Well, no broadcast.

Speaker 1 (02:36:38):
Always my junk in my head, that's right.

Speaker 6 (02:36:39):
Of course.

Speaker 8 (02:36:41):
For some reason, Henry Phillips mentioned being a sperm donor.

Speaker 10 (02:36:44):
Yeah, we have a lot of news about sperm now,
and yeah.

Speaker 6 (02:36:47):
I found this.

Speaker 1 (02:36:48):
Did you find this billionaire guy?

Speaker 27 (02:36:50):
Now?

Speaker 10 (02:36:50):
Pavel Durov is a Russian born billionaire and he apparently
wants to have a lot of kids. The forty year
old billionaire founder and CEO of the messaging app Telegram,
revealed last year that while he isn't married prefers to
live alone. He has over one hundred biological children in
twelve countries.

Speaker 1 (02:37:10):
I want to.

Speaker 10 (02:37:14):
And he's leaving all of his money to these kids too,
So that's what he says.

Speaker 6 (02:37:20):
Well, he's not dead yet, not dead yet, but wait
till one of them here's about right.

Speaker 1 (02:37:25):
I am papa, you love me, And he's a weird.

Speaker 10 (02:37:30):
Thing that he wants to do that, and he's not done.
He still has sperm that's frozen.

Speaker 8 (02:37:34):
And he's Wasn't there a problem in England where someone
it was in the Netherlands Art did this and two
of the kids were about to get married.

Speaker 6 (02:37:44):
Is that in England?

Speaker 8 (02:37:45):
They didn't They didn't realize that they were technically half brothers.
Things can't happen, I mean, weird things happen.

Speaker 14 (02:37:54):
And isn't that.

Speaker 1 (02:37:57):
Every state in the country you have to get a
blood tust before you get married or is there not
anymore any more?

Speaker 6 (02:38:02):
So?

Speaker 1 (02:38:02):
Is that maybe that'll come back because that might be
a problem with sperm, donut?

Speaker 6 (02:38:08):
I mean, are they are the children informed that they
were this by this.

Speaker 10 (02:38:15):
Guy, would you Yeah, apparently he is not keeping it anonymous.

Speaker 1 (02:38:20):
I mean, they know, would you do away with yourself
immediately or wait a couple of days if you found
out you and I were related, you know, like it'd
be my half brother half I mean, there's no way
you do something close. Yeah. No, there's no way I
could be a full blown no god.

Speaker 9 (02:38:40):
No.

Speaker 6 (02:38:41):
Well, there are rumors that you do have a half
brother out there, Billy Corgan. There are people many people
are saying, yeah, it smashing punkin guys.

Speaker 10 (02:38:52):
We talked about the bull Seaman story. Katie has written us.
She is has a family farm and they raise cattle.
She said that semen is usually stored in small straws,
not very much at all. Who gets one cow artificially bred.

Speaker 1 (02:39:06):
Like PIXI sticks.

Speaker 10 (02:39:07):
Yeah, it's frozen and liquid nitrogen thought before use, and
they use a special quote unquote gun that helps in
the breeding.

Speaker 6 (02:39:15):
Calves are absolutely this is an Adam Sandler movie waiting
to happen here.

Speaker 10 (02:39:23):
Calves are absolutely DNA tested for parentage often, especially if
they're pure bread or registers.

Speaker 6 (02:39:28):
Is this good for a movie?

Speaker 1 (02:39:29):
Put the cow in stirrups and in that way.

Speaker 10 (02:39:34):
So Katie says, these thieves definitely would have to have
a pretty specific market to sell that.

Speaker 1 (02:39:38):
Okay, well, interesting, so.

Speaker 6 (02:39:41):
You're buying black market, don't you think.

Speaker 1 (02:39:45):
If you were considering the name of my band when
I was, if you were conceived in a test tune
from Frozen's firm, it would seem like you'd never get warm, right, Yeah,
always kind of chilling.

Speaker 8 (02:39:56):
Yeah, We've got a couple of different stories about doc
who are alleged to have oh that one guy right
down the streets. Yeah, they've alleged that they were using
their own seamen yes to uh inseminate their their patients.

Speaker 6 (02:40:15):
Yeah, this one guy. And what is this in Holland?

Speaker 8 (02:40:18):
Oh yeah, yeah, and there was a guy I think
in Illinois that got caught doing this, and there was yeah,
the one guy. Interestingly enough, I remember this was this
was on sixty minutes. These a group of women in
this town were talking and they were all saying it
was very odd that when they would go in for
their exam, he would not have a nurse in the room,
and he would have all these sheets set up and

(02:40:39):
he would often say, this is going to feel a
lot like intercourse.

Speaker 6 (02:40:43):
Well, and it was, and it was. I assure you
it's not, but it was so Yeah, this is how
does it sound like? I know what you're thinking.

Speaker 8 (02:40:59):
Yeah, yeah, now or nearly, I don't, I don't. I
don't smoke. I don't smoke after my exams. But if
you'll forgive me, you.

Speaker 9 (02:41:08):
Would have to.

Speaker 10 (02:41:12):
Women aren't that stupid?

Speaker 1 (02:41:14):
Right?

Speaker 10 (02:41:14):
No, this was a I know, but if he's doing that,
I think it's more had to have.

Speaker 1 (02:41:19):
Just gone in and they're not that stupid at all.

Speaker 6 (02:41:22):
But this guy was so manipulative and charming and like
and I'm sure there was some smoke and mirrors. They
said he had cheats set up. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 10 (02:41:32):
If it's when you get a pelvic exam, it doesn't
go in and out, is what I'm saying.

Speaker 6 (02:41:36):
Well, well, maybe the good ones do. You don't know.
There's also a chance these were I don't know enough details,
but first time yological physics.

Speaker 8 (02:41:46):
They've been they'd all been seeing the same guy for
a long time.

Speaker 6 (02:41:49):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (02:41:49):
Then there's the Then there's the one where the guy
was claiming that he was using the seed of the
husbands or boyfriends. Oh yeah, and he was in fact
using his own it's still charging we swing.

Speaker 6 (02:42:00):
It's your husband.

Speaker 8 (02:42:02):
So there has to be some kind of ego thing
was a second load at home? This Russian billionaire wants
to have five hundred kids out there. That's it is
a special kind of ego. Yeah, I think it's madness,
a special kind of lunacy. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy.

Speaker 6 (02:42:17):
But he should have to live with them, that's what
I said. Yeah, I mean that should be the rule.

Speaker 1 (02:42:22):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't. I've lived with a handful
like this was a terrible idea. Five hundred might be
a little bit at a little bit rough. And uh now, Pat,
you've prepared a special song.

Speaker 6 (02:42:36):
Is that correct?

Speaker 12 (02:42:37):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (02:42:37):
You can go ahead and start the band up.

Speaker 6 (02:42:40):
Oh is that right?

Speaker 1 (02:42:41):
Yeah? Them all in there there, they couldn't sit in here.
We had to mike them up. So Thoms Thom's in
charge of this audio. Huh okay, you'll be really here.
We go ready here here it starts.

Speaker 7 (02:42:52):
Won tult sperm.

Speaker 29 (02:42:54):
Doctor, I want to have a kid, South sperm doctor,
remove a test.

Speaker 27 (02:43:00):
Bled room doctor turned around and this is what he did.

Speaker 1 (02:43:04):
Oh, he went, want I want a bank bank?

Speaker 7 (02:43:10):
You old me.

Speaker 1 (02:43:16):
With the rudy Valley ending.

Speaker 6 (02:43:19):
So he charged him. He charged him for a semen.
Of course he did. He got a little samp shuman
and I got money for him.

Speaker 8 (02:43:27):
Wow, well that's our he You wanted to get.

Speaker 6 (02:43:33):
Hunk or or load monsters, right, yeah, the Russian guy.
This this story just came out last week.

Speaker 10 (02:43:43):
Sure, did I remember reading about it. He says he's
really worried about the declining population.

Speaker 6 (02:43:50):
And I'm like, where is he living? Oh god, I
was born.

Speaker 39 (02:43:55):
I think there were four billion people on the planet
and there's eight billion now, so what is he talking about?

Speaker 6 (02:44:01):
That's my point.

Speaker 1 (02:44:03):
Yeah, he's trying to justify this.

Speaker 10 (02:44:05):
Yeah, and he says in countries where the populations are
declining is where he wants to donate the most, if
you will.

Speaker 1 (02:44:14):
He's thinking of others. I am a giver. Yes, yeah, I.

Speaker 6 (02:44:19):
Wonder if if I wonder Aperville, Illinois needs some population.

Speaker 8 (02:44:23):
I wonder if Elon Musk is going to get on board.
This guy's also a billionaire. Yeah, he's got because you
have he's got more than ten right he does?

Speaker 1 (02:44:32):
Mosco does?

Speaker 6 (02:44:33):
Yeah, I think he does.

Speaker 8 (02:44:35):
I remember reading about One of them is named like
pr seventeen eighty four x.

Speaker 1 (02:44:39):
Yeah, something crazy. I couldn't believe it's the same as
my password for this computer. That's what are the odds.

Speaker 10 (02:44:47):
Then I said something during the break that kind of
surprised me, that you're playing golf.

Speaker 6 (02:44:52):
Yeah, I'm a golfer.

Speaker 1 (02:44:54):
That is surprising.

Speaker 7 (02:44:55):
Yeah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 6 (02:44:57):
And it's too bad because my dad was so into it.
He loved it.

Speaker 39 (02:45:00):
He always tried to get me into it, but I
was always in the music and I just couldn't have
been less interested. But now, a couple of years ago
started getting into it. So now I literally, I officially
I play golf. I play in a garage band with
a couple of buddies and we do you know, seventies
classic rock cover songs, and I play poker. So if

(02:45:21):
you picture my life, I'm like a Flomax commercial.

Speaker 6 (02:45:25):
I'm literally.

Speaker 39 (02:45:28):
And yeah, so I'm officially old now and everything hurts.
And the first time I ever went out to golf,
I injured my back and so but it was kind
of cool because that way, when I had my terrible swing,
people laughed at me. I'd be like, well, I'm working
through an injury.

Speaker 6 (02:45:45):
They don't have to know. I just got the intro
out there. But yeah, no, it's I love it. I suck.

Speaker 39 (02:45:53):
I'm completely terrible, but I love the hangout. You know,
I've been hanging out with people that I always hang
out with, you know, friends from high school and uh,
you know, getting some sun and uh and working on something.
I've already mastered everything else in my life. You know,
it's like, what else is there?

Speaker 6 (02:46:13):
I try this? Yeah? Maybe a golf song is in
the out. I can already cook, like you know, the
Masters Golf. That would be good.

Speaker 39 (02:46:21):
It was. It's tricky though when you golf, because you always,
you always, if you're a comedian, you always want to
make jokes. But you just feel like people that have
been golfing their whole life have probably heard every joke
that there is. You know, I stepped on uh, yes,
stepped on a rake?

Speaker 1 (02:46:39):
What is that one?

Speaker 39 (02:46:39):
Do you want to say it? Because I still don't
know what you can say on the river? Yeah? But
I mean it's really hard as a comedian to to
not make these jokes when people say, you know, they
set them up so perfectly. Ah my ball just when
the sand pit or whatever. I don't know, how do
you not say something? You know, but you just gotta

(02:47:03):
hold your tongue.

Speaker 6 (02:47:04):
I have two updates here.

Speaker 1 (02:47:05):
Yes.

Speaker 8 (02:47:06):
First of all, we had the letter from Ramon. He
said his mother was a half Mexican, half Italian.

Speaker 6 (02:47:13):
Yeah yeah, Her refrite spaghetti was delicio Yeah no, but
her walking spaghetti was delightful.

Speaker 1 (02:47:17):
Oh we both had.

Speaker 8 (02:47:19):
Icee very difficult, very difficult to maneuver with walking spaghetti.
California Cooler, I'd forgotten about these things. It was one
of the pioneering wine coolers quote refreshing blend of white wine,
fruit juice, carbonation, and sugar. It was launched in seventy
six by two high school friends.

Speaker 1 (02:47:40):
It took off.

Speaker 8 (02:47:42):
I remember it was huge in nineteen eighty four.

Speaker 6 (02:47:44):
It was everywhere.

Speaker 8 (02:47:46):
Mid eighties brought a lot of competition, including Barteles and
James and Seagrums. In nineteen ninety one, things change. California
Cooler had been acquired for one hundred and forty six
million dollars and eighty five and the brand was dropped.

Speaker 10 (02:48:03):
Why'd they buy it and then drop it?

Speaker 1 (02:48:06):
Maybe it was a competitor. Yeah, I didn't want the competition.

Speaker 8 (02:48:08):
They bought an eighty five drop ten years later.

Speaker 1 (02:48:10):
Oh well, drink nobody bought it.

Speaker 6 (02:48:16):
Totally different story. It was really bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:48:19):
Sorry, I'm just trying.

Speaker 9 (02:48:21):
This is the Bob and Tom Show, Jim Rome takes
on sports. Why because you're not playing me with rapid
fire takes.

Speaker 35 (02:48:33):
And a lot to get to and I'm not sure
you're gonna like all of it. Honestly, I don't even
care if you like all of it or not. I
have a job to do scorching debates on any given
a week. You have lots to beef about ticket advantage
of it. Get up in here.

Speaker 7 (02:48:44):
He's the spitfire of sports smack.

Speaker 35 (02:48:47):
She's not my fault. We will get to all of
that the Jim Rome Show podcast. Get up in here
and we'll be if later on What's your beef?

Speaker 7 (02:48:53):
If illow and listen on your favorite platform.

Speaker 6 (02:48:55):
You've been warned.

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The BOB & TOM Show - July 4, 2025

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}The BOB & TOM Show - July 4, 2025