Best Friends: 6 Year Anniversary

This episode is about everything. But it's also about nothing. Thanks for 6 years, Brohio Family!!

Episode Transcript

(00:18):
If you're here celebrating our six yearpodcast anniversary with us, and you accidentally
come to already, you've come tothe Rye Podcast. Hello everyone, I'm
one half of the Cream Spot.I am the delicious Nicolasious. You comed
to the right spot. I'm robbed. Okay, guys, you came.
I just gotta pussy hair in mymouth. You might have because she ran
in here the other day. NothingI can do about it. I try

(00:39):
to stop her. It's all good, man. She came right in,
much like your father a long timeago. When they're coming, they're coming,
man, a long long time ago. Special occasion calls for a special
drink. Yes, sir, myneighbor's got me a dietrich fine whiskey straight

(00:59):
Rye from Belle of Dayton. Ohthat's fucking good man, first bourbon brooding
Dayton since the goddamn prohibition. That'sgood and good kind of fruity. I
was gonna say the same exact thing. Got fruit notes. Yeah, it's
got fruit nuggets like you and me. Whenever I smelled the first thing,
I smelled as apples come. That'sgreat, that's really good. You're giving

(01:19):
oil check and smell. You're comejust to see what you're working with.
No, I guess should try thatwhen I come. It smells like somebody
farted tramatic minds, like a canof chef boy ardy m the can,
though not with inside of it,just the case. I saw a meme
the other day. I said,I'm no ship. I'm no ship,
but boy already's titty, sweaty storyof my life. Man. Yeah,

(01:45):
guys, welcome to them. Thesixth year anniversary of the Brohio Podcast.
I can't believe it's been six years. Man, it's wild. I only
remember probably four months of the show. Sometimes people run up on us,
so you remember that episode about No, we don't don't remember any of that
stuff now, but we're doing ourbest to just keep pushing forward for you

(02:07):
guys, for the people. Lotsof kind commentary coming at us from all
all over the world. Hundreds ofpeople reached out say congratulations, boys,
it's awesome, it's coming gone.We're gonna mail it in this episode.
Yet. Yeah, I mean wewe've you know a lot of people will
started listening to us recently. We'vegot you know, a lot of people

(02:28):
that have listened to us from almostthe beginning and one baby. Yeah,
we appreciate every single one of you, guys, and without you, literally
we would have quit doing this along time ago. You got that,
all right, And you know,special things to our to our wives who
see us through all this, followus all over the United States doing these
live shows, sacrifice their time withus so that we can be with one

(02:49):
another, so we can fulfill ourromance. And it's you know, it's
it's awesome. So we got somegood questions in here we're gonna answer for
you guys. But in the meantime, you'll remember a few months back,
we got a special package from OptimusPiggy. He was a young man from
Utah, I believe he uh dah. He mailed us a safety pound rubber

(03:14):
fallis which we christened Girth, whowe've affectionately named Girth Brooks. Yeah,
he's a part of us now.I wish we could put him on the
live stream, just just to joinus for this special occasion. I have
a pretty sneaking suspicion that whatever isin these boxes it's been mailed to us,
maybe his baby's Optimus Piggy is goingto uh be about on par with

(03:36):
Girth Brooks. Yeah, we have. We both have one box. They're
the same boxes, but we don'tknow if what's inside of them is is
one for me one for him,or if it's just two completely different things.
It's about a twelve by six,twelve by six box here rectangle or
just like we're doing it right now. I've on air man, Yeah you
want to Yeah, well I Ihold on listen. We got to open
him at the same time. Istuck my finger in there, and it

(03:59):
feels like a pussy made of jelly. Oh, dude, that'd be dope.
Feels very I could always use anotherone of those. All right,
I'm just gonna open it up andkind of get a get room from my
hand. It's a jelly pussy tobe. And he sent these packages and

(04:19):
it says do not open until youruniverse. Oh Jesus Christ, I can
go see it. But I couldtotally feel a dog. Oh man,
is it a fist? It feelslike a fish. Are you ready?
Yeah? All right, Oh JesusChrist. Oh, I know what it

(04:41):
is. It's a it's a footpussy. It's a foot See, it's
a foot pussy. I've always talkedabout these things before. I mean I'm
not gonna take it out, butlike, yeah, I am looking at
this, listen to it. I'mtaking it out. This is my house,
dude, I live here. I'msick of these gays running my life

(05:04):
angrily shaking Julie it is. There'sa pussy at the bottom of it.
Looks like a fucking like a stabwound. Let's be beating it up.
Oh man, I'd be like,what's that. I'd be like, I

(05:28):
gotta take my fear in this hole. Now It's like, oh, it's
not a real holes tight. Ohyeah, it goes all the way in
there. Dude, I'm definitely notusing this. Oh shit, you could
feel the It's like our metal supportin it. Oh yeah, dude,
me in the dick Optimus speaking.It's so realistic and they I know,

(05:57):
smells, smells frecking weird, smellslike you might used it. Here we
go. Yeah, we're allowed totaking a shot out of it. Thank
you, sir. I appreciate appreciateit. Rob Dog just took a shot
out of the foot pussy. It'sthe fussy, fussy right out of the

(06:19):
fucking hole. I think I willofficially name it the fussy. What do
you think bab's gonna think of that. I don't know. I won't put
it on the mantel. I'm gonnaactively leave with the bed and just be
like, oh no, you leftyour thinging year. I'm gonna put it
under one of my kids pillows andact like I found it. You guys

(06:40):
want to explain this, please?God? Why is it greasy? I
don't know, man, I gotta, I gotta. I definitely got a
sheen on my hands now, fuckinggreasy. That guy is like herpes.
Man, he's the gift that keepson giving. That's as taking such good
care of us he has. It'sso jigglely. It is the toast.
Just man, that's funny as fuck. Thank you. Yeah, a space

(07:05):
tiger. The pussy holes in thebottom of the foot, it is.
Yes, Let's see if we canshow this on YouTube. Oh my god,
look, I think it's a littlestretched out. Just don't get it.
Just don't show too much anatomy ofit. I'll get up on the
YouTube stream, guys. You guyscan see it there. Oh man,

(07:27):
I don't like that one. Butwhat a true engineering marble we have.
Man. It made me cry fromlaughing so hard. It's dumb, thinks
thinks like a used one. Well, thank you optimists, Piggy Piggy for
the fussias. We really appreciate those. We'll put them the extraordinary, extraordinarily
good use. I don't know why, but I feel like it'll fit into
my my Bengals tailgate gear. I'lltake it, take it to the Bengals

(07:50):
tailgates, and I can use itfor something. It'd be funny. I
just slapping people. You'll put slimgyms in it, in stories and chips
in there, coins like you carriedit into the stadium for you know,
my credit cards and stuff. Installa zipper on it. Thanks for the
fussy You go and get a beerlike, hey, I'll let me get

(08:13):
let me get my purse out secondsof fun. Man, that's great.
Well, that's the best anniversary giftI've ever received. I can't wait to
fuck it. We just have tokeep a pack that. You know,
once one of us does fuck it, we gotta let us let the other
one know. How well, Yes, for sure, I'll message you tomorrow.

(08:33):
I'll message you in my in yourdriveway when I leave tonight. It's
like, dude, hear me out. Hey, what's going on down there?
And uh, this sounds like,oh, this sounds like a Florida
story, but Oklahoma. Actually,police officers in Oklahoma rushed to the scene
of a person crying for help orleft in fits of laughter after they discovered
the individual crying for help was actuallya very upset goat. Let's let's hear

(08:54):
the news, little news clipp right, Oklahoma. Thanks to an angry goat,
police thought they were responding to aman calling for help. That's a
person. That's a person. Yep. The officers ran to help someone in
trouble, but soon they realized whatthey were really hearing. How's it go

(09:26):
well? The owner said, thegoat was upset at being separated from its
friend. It does sound like ahuman though new in existence optimists In the
chatt he said, have fun boys, yeah, and I got me thinking
about other goats. Man. Ijust love yeah, I love goats.

(09:50):
That wasn't me, that was agoat. That's a class man. Why

(10:11):
don't we have a goat? Idon't know, man, I don't a
pig. Here. Later, communitygoat guy's cleaning up shit out of the
road and the jode's yelling at fuckinggoat pebbles. Just yell, man,

(10:33):
That's all they do is yell whata dumb fucking really really are fucking idiots?
Fucking mutt? Oh man, that'sfunny. Oh yeah, man.
We don't have a topic for thisthis week. We're just kind of winging,
winging, singing, bouncing all overthe place. But the first question

(10:54):
came for just a little Q andA. And you know, if you
were signed up for Patreon this week, just tune in next week we'll do
your full shout out or we're notdoing the shout outs this week for the
first time ever. Oh man,tune in next week. It's not a
real episode, no man. We'rebusy. We're busy. Yeah, not
like you guys where we just layaround all day. We're busy. You

(11:16):
know what. Hang on one second, anyways, bro, I'm I'm kind
of I'm kind of wondering one thing, pull yours back out, the fussy,
Yeah, the fussy. I wonderfor the same if we have a
pair of feet, or if it'sthe same one. I have a right,
I have a righty, I haveleft. You have a left?
You fucking do I'm left footed?Two dude. It's like fucking my own

(11:39):
foot mine, so wet fucking's gonnabe wet later. Dude, I can't
tell my wife about freak the fuckout. I'll take both of them.
I'll take it. I'll shove oneup my ass. And here's the real
problem is when she just finds it, she's like, you know, I

(12:01):
was looking at it and it wasjust appeared to be a food that I
found a pussy hole on the bottomof it. Just just use that to
store the dildo you got sent youstuck on the motorcycle helmets. I'm gonna
I'm gonna put that in my momand dad's house someplace. Can't put it
back on the couch. I needmy mom to find it. She she

(12:22):
called. She texts me the othernight about eleven o'clock. Yeah, that's
pretty late. Text me. Allshe said was, you're fucking nasty.
Oh shit made me spit. Hell, yeah I did. I thought it
was more lady like the bet.She said, you're fucking nasty. What

(12:45):
mom? Oh shit, You andthat goddamn podca there coming back from the
lake. They listen to it andthen they drive back from the lake.
He said, you're nasty. Idon't like it. I don't like your
potty mouth. Out of all thestuff that upsets her, my dad says,
she gets the upset the most upsetwhen she hears me say the F
word. Really yeah, like,oh shit, I talk about when I

(13:05):
say fuck, it makes her mad. Well, fuck you, mom.
You know this is my podcast.I love you. Happy to spend Mother's
Day with you. But god,what did you guys do for Mother's Day?
She'll we want to that. Okay, this is a good one.
This is a doozy. Let mebe just profess to preface this by saying,

(13:26):
preface this by saying, I hateMother's Day because no matter what you
do, it's never good enough.Yeah, that's these homes to be out
here trifling. We talked about howmuch we'd deslike I dislike it just because
everything is so fucking busy. No, we took good care of my wife.
She's happy. We took you know, my mom a little uh you
know, a gift card to thenail salon. We got my wife some

(13:46):
good stuff. But it was itwas a good day. We went to
my wife loves the zoo. Ihate the zoo because I hate seeing animals
locked up like that. It makesme sad because I look at these wild
fucking beasts. Yeah, I thinkabout them galloping in the countryside, just
you know, or they'll be outthere in the art to lay there in

(14:09):
the ice catching some rays. It'sit's a double edged sword, man.
It's one of those things where it'slike it's sad that they're in captivity,
but at the same time, like, you know, I can see where
it's good as well. I seethe good in it, but it still
makes me sad. Yeah. Imean, if you see a bald fucking
eagle, Yeah, that's true ina in an exhibit that doesn't even have

(14:31):
a net or a roof on itbecause the thing just can't fly. I
like to think that they're you know, they're better taken care of in a
zoo than they aren't like the fuckingcircus. Yeah, that's just that's just
bad and wrong. Is the elephantsare gorgeous. I love elephants. Drafts
are my favorite. I fucking lovedrafts. I've always loved drafts and otters.
Those are my two favorite animals.So the only thing I would have

(14:52):
rather had than this human foot wouldbe an elephant foot that's so hot.
An elephant foot with a pussy onit. M M, what is it?
You know, just like a trunkand a foot, this one an
elephant trunk to fuck, dude,I bet that thing, I bet you
can get it. Probably can't fullsize three hundred pounder. Yeah, just

(15:13):
like me. You wouldn't even beable to do anything with that fuck it.
I mean you could, but Imean you lay on it. Look
like the whole tube of it waslike had an insert, so you could
really fuck it all the way upto the gills, really smash it in
there. It was like super fuckingjelly legs and start and hit that bitch
and not hurt heart anything. Sorry. And we went to the Cincinnati Zoo.

(15:41):
Right as I'm about to hit thepurchase on the tickets, one hundred
and twenty dollars something like that,too bad, five of us, the
little thing pops up at the topsays moms getting free. I said,
oh damn, I go back andtake an old stays out of the shopping
cart. We have five moms atthis trip. So I was trying to
get my oldest darter to pick upmy six year old and carrier like a
baby going in there. But shewouldn't do it. So we go to

(16:04):
the Cincinnati Zoo ten o'clock right whenit opens. Pretty busy, pretty busy,
but it's the zoo on the weekend. It's gonna be busy. I'll
tell you what, buddy, I'mglad we're from Dayton. Is it rough?
Because there were some great a scuttlebuckets there and Cincinnati this was the

(16:25):
underbelly of humane get in free dayat the zoo. Yeah, let me
tell you about it. It wasdisgusting. Everybody stunk. I could hear
everyone's gums chattering together because they didn'thave teeth there, y'are get back everyone's
you know, they're missing their teethand stuff. Yeah, math addicts,
probably incestual relationships. Nasty fucking people. Then I went to this window.

(16:52):
They said, what can I getyou? To give me pretzel, three
of them blueberry ices, and abag of popcorn. You can get me
the fuck out of here is whatyou can get me. And she said,
all right, walked down there andpay? Did it? Excuse me?
She said, I said, walkeddown there and pay. They said
okay, and they'd already give himmy my treats. At that point,

(17:14):
I just fucking walked away with him. I did not pay. I walked
away and my oldest daughter, whois a Dudley, do right day.
You didn't pay? I said,did you hear the way that woman spoke
to me? Completely outline? ButI didn't need to tell him that.
I just took the ship and walkedaway. I could have said. I

(17:34):
could have stood around and been ofKaren and said, listen, hear you
nasty little bitch. But I justcruised on by. Yeah, got the
zoo for about forty dollars worth ofdrinks and snacks. Hey, have you
won? Man? We stopped atChew. He's on the way home for
dinner. Yeah, text Max it'sokay. Ye had hallopenia dip though with

(17:57):
the chips. Good stuff. Yeah, real good. But the first email
we had, well, the firstmessage we got, I said, ask
us some questions. We'll answer somequestions for you guys. Was from China,
like the dead wrestler. No,I wish that'd be cool. Cool

(18:17):
China and her sister Holly just twosex pots. What they are? Pots
of sex? I love it.They're out of control. They got they
got kids, They leave them ahome and do drugs on the weekends.
I know that you said they're sisters. Yes, okay, I think so.
But they do drugs. Okay,the one does makeup. The creative

(18:38):
makeup. You know, it lookslike it's probably more labor intensive than anything
I've done in my entire life.Okay, that's kind of cool. I
would love for somebody to paint mybody up. Yeah, just make me
look like a pregnant woman or something. That'd be cool. Yeah, or
pregnant man. Whatever you're into.Whatever you're into, I'm not throwing we

(19:00):
are. I'm gonna. I amgonna cross a sensitive bridge in this episode.
I'll let you know when you getthere. It's a story from our
past. Okay, and we'll talkabout it. Okay, But China,
she said, fuck Mary kill CemeteryTerry, Rob's grandma or Bill Wilkins.
Okay, I know, um,fuck Mary kill. All right, ceme

(19:26):
Terry Terry. I'm good, Iknow, I know mine, you know
yours? Yeah, Okay, thisis really easy for me. You go
ahead, Okay, Um, I'mgoing to I'm gonna marry Cemetery Terry because
I feel like he's he's he's gotthat nice sensibility to him. Um,
Rob's grandma is dead. Fuck thatbitch. Bill Wilkins dude, Ye bet

(19:51):
he could fucking lay down that LulaWainer. I don't know why, I'll
almost sudden I'm assuming I'm gonna bethe bottom in this. But yeah,
no, you know, you don'tknow, man, You never know.
He might be into some stuff that. Yeah, I thought i'd probably take
Bill Wilkins Dick more so than Icould take Cemetery Terry. Yeah you can.
So, yeah, that's my pick. You know, I play all
three of these characters, right,I know, man, all right,

(20:14):
all right, I'm just thinking ofthe characters themselves, not the person that's
voices of them. Okay, I'mI'm definitely gonna marry cemetery Terry. Yeah,
you know, it's a cemetery terry. He'd be working nights, so
you up in the cemetery wandering around, having booby traps looking for people,
wandering around the cemetery. And he'sup there at night, so you ain't
got Warria. You sleep in thebed all by yourself because cemetery Terry you'd

(20:37):
be at work. You'd be upin the bed all night, sleeping by
yourself, stretched out like a baldeagle at your arm spread like you're about
to fly up out the bed likeMichael Jordan's space Jam. Yeah, cemetery
Terry, you don't be coming hometill seventy o'clock in the morning. Bringing
him some booby traps home with himtoo, I little boobies. He got
hard ass shift. He was thatbooby traps, getting in the face with

(21:00):
nipples and ship and I'm gonna fuckYou're you're going opposite in me. I
can already tell I'm gonna fuck robGrandma. He brought over that little fat
friend Net and I was there puttingout a pair of my shitty bloomers,
and he came in and he said, Grandma, I never knew how what's

(21:26):
your word out there? And Isaid, aftercare, little gay friend Robert
he and he loves to do mylaundry because he likes big beads and I
like a load my britches up.Rob Dog likes to change my diaper.
God, no I don't. Andsometimes I say, whoop a whole lot

(21:52):
of wipe, Rob Dog. Iget you'll have to clean me up with
your mouth. Now he gets theGod and then I'm gonna be killing Bill
Yeah, kill Bill Wilkins. He'salready dead. I was gonna say that's
another thing why I don't mind fuckinghim because if it or getting sucked by
him because he's a ghost, howabout it could have possibly hurt we Yeah,

(22:14):
we think so. Anyways, Yeah, the official diagnostics are still that's
true, waiting to get those back. But old billy boys, I'm gonna
kill him. It's just, umthe name of the game. I hate
that it goes that way. Yeah, he's an integral part of the show
and everything we do here. ButRob Rob's Grandma's absolutely getting ran through like

(22:38):
a like a like yard wreck.I'm running through there, buddy. It's
it's seen some shit it has.How about this first question from Clinton Burchill?
He says, what is something youwant to cover and have yet to
do? So you'll a fucking dicksmothering cover me in it? Baby.

(22:59):
Um. So we've talked a longtime about doing the JF camp, Soode,
that's that's gonna be my uh,that's my reason to live. So
yeah, um, that's gonna bea big one. Though we have to
uh putting your fussy back in thebox. Yeah, a little piggy hanging
out of the box. I hadto fix it. Um. Yeah,

(23:19):
that'll be a fun one. Um, that's really it um for me.
Nine to eleven nine. Yeah,that's done too. You and I have
been researching that I'd like to do, like I'd like to do if we
when we do that, I'd liketo do a kind of like a good

(23:41):
cop bad cop type deal with that. For sure. I've been researching.
Yeah where it's like, you know, this is what the conspiracy theorists believe,
this is what mainstream media, youknow, tell us. Yeah,
that'll be Um, that'll be soon. Honestly in an area fifty one,
I know, but that's so overdone. It is Ryndall sham Forest. Another

(24:02):
alien UFO event that I really reallyknow a lot about and really well versed
in Fort Knox been there? Doyou get anything almost now? I did?
Um, I did. So.I had a job for like a
week I was down there. No, maybe it was a couple of weeks
we were working Fort Knox. Weactually um did a job in a place

(24:25):
that had a huge vault that theyheld um precious paintings in Oh cool.
That was really cool that we gotto go back behind the doors and see
inside like we were actually working inthere. It was. It was really
fucking cool. There's no aid Icould get into that motherfucker. When they
say locked up like Fort Knox,that's that's what they mean. Yeah,
oh yeah, it's pretty cool.Anytime, anytime we can kind of latch

(24:48):
onto some information from Wright Patterson AirForce Base, it's local to us here.
We always take advantage of that.Chika, I don't know, man,
it's just it's a wild game,buddy. I fucking like it.
Man, it's so weird it makesme feel uneasy. A lot of episodes

(25:10):
we got. There's a lot ofjuice left, a lot of low hanging
fruit on that tree. Yeah,a lot of serial killers we've never done.
Everybody else is done. Like AlbertFish should be right up our alley.
Dude stuck needles in his dick.I mean, how cool is that?
You know? Here's a problem withwhenever we do those heavy hitter episodes,
it gets us the most downloads,which is crazy because everyone else has
done them. But then when wedo episodes and nobody's heard of that are

(25:33):
good stories, nobody listens. Yeah, so fuck you guys. It's yeah,
it's one of those things. That'sit's really weird. It's um,
you think, and you would thinkby doing one of these, your episode
would kind of get lost in thealgorithm of like everybody else doing them.
But it's like people like hearing stuffthat they already kind of know about,
and we barely even talk about whatwe're supposed to. I know. That's
very true. Yeah, so that'sthat's the answer to that question for us.

(25:57):
Thanks Clint, thank you the question. How about Booby Anderson, Booby
Johnson, Bobby Johnson? Who wouldwin a naked fight between you guys and
a pack of kiddies, like fiftykiddies. Ok Um, I think we
could fuck up some kiddies. Youthink so? I think that's fine.
There's they'll scratch us. I mean, we'll get some scratches. Here's something

(26:19):
you don't know about me. Ifuck I fuck up the pussy. Yeah
he does. Pett and Cats isan Eurotic experience for me. Yeah,
it is just gets me chubbed up. Yeah hard. Do you pissed in

(26:40):
the shower? I do. Thisis embarrassing. I gotta tell you the
story from the other day. Kindof enjoy it, man, It's fun.
My wife keeps on doing this thingwhere she's she keeps on trying to
catch me in the shower, notpaying attention. Yeah, to look at
my private parts for one, sure, which already I don't like her look
into my dick before I get inthe shower. This just made me think

(27:03):
of something funny. Ahead, keepgoing. But once I get in the
hot water, I'm okay, they'reseeing my dick because it really falls like
it opens up like a flower andbloom. Yeah, you know, really
get some some size and girth toit. When I first get in and
it's up inside me and stuff that'sembarrassing. And then she says she'll she'll
call me words like hey, bigdick, stuff like that, And I
know she's just trying to cheer meon. She's your biggest cheerleader. Man,

(27:26):
She's not being serious. Yeah,But the other day, I as
soon as I close the fucking doorin the shower, man, I go
in there. I get in theshowers, is on the weekend, and
I grabbed my dick like I'm shakinghands, and George Bush at this fucking
dick in my hand, and myhead rolls back and I just start pissing

(27:47):
all over the shower. Its fuckinga lot of her rip. Dog.
I mean, I was pissing atthe drain, but you know, I'm
just I'm not even in the waterall the way yet, I'm like standing
in the dry spot at the backof the shower pissing the cross the shower
into the drain, which I'm alreadyembarrassing enough that I'm pissing the shower.
You know, it's not. It'snot. That's one of those things that
everybody does. And don't let someonetell you they don't piss the shower because

(28:11):
they're fucking lying. Yeah, butthen you don't want anyone to know that
you're doing it. Well, Idon't care, man, I'm pissing in
every shower i'm in. It justfeels good. How many different showers,
Yeah, I don't know. Younever know. I mean I just find
showers and pissing them. Anyway.I'm holding this dick in my hand like
a banana. I got packing itfor lunch, taking it to work.

(28:34):
Yeah, I got my head rolledback and just like ah, because it
feels good and it piss real bad. And I was holding my piss so
I could piss the shower because pissingin the shower feels better than pissing in
the toilet. It's yeah, becauseit feels like something you're not supposed to
be doing. It's taboo. Yeah, you don't have to flush, it
just goes down. But then Iget done pissing, groaning. Oh,

(28:56):
like a bear waking up at ahibernation. I want to come back to
up my eyes. And whose fuckingface is in the shower staring at me?
Watch me piss across the shower.She's snuck in there. She's dick
watched the man, and she watchedme with a solid thirty second stream pissing

(29:17):
across the shower, just a big, old hairy piss, just peeing,
and she's watching morrified. And thenwhen I saw her, hey, I
threw my leg up to block mybody and that thing like this, someone
kicks something that you put your legup or you're trying to hide your dick,
lift your leg and turn your body. Yeah, it was already too
late. And she said that she'sI just watched you piss all over the

(29:41):
place, and I said, no, you didn't, and then she kept
on a tearror game, and Ijust wouldn't talk to her. I was
embarrassed, So I shut I shutdown, is what I did. I
mean it pissing when the shower makeslogical sense because I mean, if you're
you're pissing in a place that you'rewashing yourself, so soap is gonna wash
it down. Um you're walk allover, it's gonna be all over your
feet, which is cool. Youknow. I like to gamble, so

(30:03):
sometimes I'll piss right on my feet. Yeah, just to see if they
start to itch mid day, rightright, so you know whether or not
to see if they make my feetitch. Yeah. She could just smell
piss in your socks there for awhile. When I was drinking a lot,
a lot of water, I hadpissed and just you know, just
straight water. Speaking of the pisser, she's the pisser kisser. Look what

(30:27):
we got from the anniversary thing.You want to see the bottom of it?
What a fake foot? Did yousee it? Hey? But them
bumps well played. My wife camein. I don't know where the empty

(30:49):
ones are, babe, the emptyfoot, Oh excellently, that works.
Yeah, my wife saw the fussythat someone said us, So I guess
you guys aren't pussy footing around.But I see you later. Yeah,
before she came in scared me justnow like she did in the shower.

(31:12):
It's like she just knows I wasclean pissing on her. Yeah you didn't
know it though. Hell yeah,she still doesn't know. Yeah, I
don't know if she liked did she? Could you tell? I think she's
always funny. But do you thinkshe's hard to gauge? Yeah? Do
you think she liked her? Doyou think she would like to bring it
in with like tonight? Maybe notthe one I drank out of. She

(31:38):
loves to play footste with me beforeyou fall asleep, because she's like,
why do you have three feet?You keep that foot down there? Oh
yeah, just keep it down,like hold hold it by the ankle.
That's Rodica's foot. Um, somebody, my shower story has happened either yesterday
or two days ago. So youknow, you get you know you're getting.

(32:00):
Um, you get in the shower. Me. I take really fucking
hot showers, so my my sackwill get super elastic and go all the
way to my knees. You knowhow that goes? It? You know
it? Your your carriage just hangsdown a little bit lower than she said.
Let me, bite your sack soI want to. I want to
just want to buy it. I'mlike, fuck, yeah, yeah,

(32:23):
okay, I stood up on stopon the sounds like, here you go,
she said, I said, howShe said, yeah, I did
that a little bit too hard.I'm sorry. Why didn't she want to
buit it? Man? Huh?What a wow? Bitch that fussy and
be like, suck on these toeknuckles right here. The ball bighter.

(32:45):
He's a ball bier. I waslike, as long as it wasn't a
testicle, man, I'm fine,you can bite my sack. It escalated,
didn't it. It turned into moreuh not then bumber bumber for you
me? Yea, yeah, gettingmy nuts bit doesn't really do much for
me. My message help out yesterdayat all? No, okay, all
right, all right. I thoughtI was doing you a service. I

(33:07):
you know, I I was alwayslooking out for you. Man. You
know you're good dude. How aboutJason Noir nor what is the most ridiculous
conspiracy that you believe in? Ohthat I believe in? Oh? That's
good? Um Illuminati Illuminati? Yeah, okay, I could see that being

(33:29):
factual. And I'm not even gonnasay that I actually believe in it,
um or that I believe in whatthey say the Illuminati stands for. I
definitely do believe that there is asecret group of very high up people,
or there is a very select groupof celebrities that are together. Whether or
not, I bet you they're notcelebrities at the people we never even knew

(33:52):
of. I'm sure. I'm sureit's in intermingling. Yeah. Um.
Whether or not they want, youknow, pretty much a quarter of the
population to exist, I don't knowif I really necessarily believe in all that.
I do think they do want torule the world, and I think
they already do. Um. Soyeah, I think I think the Illuminati
is very believable. It's a goodthat's a good one. Um, let

(34:16):
me see two of them. Ithink that Martin Luther King was a very
avid pussy eater. Oh fuck,it's that? Is that really a conspiracy
theory? Well not. We didthat episode about Martin Luther King, and

(34:37):
there's a lot of things about himthat people didn't really like. He was
kind of he was kind of fuckinga tasteless human, but he spoke,
he spoke about pussy and he lovedeating it. That was his I mean,
I fucking get it. That's notwhat I would say. My favorite

(34:58):
conspiracy that I probably believe the Titanicwas sunk on purpose. Oh really,
there was a lot of money involved. There a lot of really important people
that got on that boat. Butmore importantly, there was a lot of
very important people that went the fuckingone eighty right before they got on that
thing. And Rose and Jack Dawsonand all that stuff. Rose made it

(35:22):
out, man, she did.Jack. On the other hand, he
sunk. He's fucking sunk. ButI do think that that was sunk on
purpose. Okay, that's a funlittle I love the I love the Titanic
though. I love the movie.I love the museum. I love just
sometimes I get on Google Maps andI'll look up the location of the shipwreck.

(35:44):
I'll just stare at it on GoogleMaps like a fucking weird though.
I think I've ever done that.That's I have. I love to go
places on Google street View. Igo on vacations every day. I got
to Paris, I got a Rome, I go to Italy. I got
all these different places and use Googlestreet View and I just walk around and
it's, um, it's fucking awesome, dude. Yeah, that's cool.

(36:07):
I don't think i've ever really Besidesthat, if someone says go to this
coordinate on Google Maps and you goto someone fucking doing Yeah, No,
there's a really cool feature. Ifyou're on a desktop and you go to
Google Maps, you can actually dragand drop the little guy and it'll it'll
show you maybe not necessarily street view, but just locations where people have done

(36:27):
three sixty videos and pictures. Doyou go to beach on a random island
and one dude'll have gone there andtaking a picture. See, you get
to go these remote islands and whatnotwhere no one will ever go in their
life, but someone went there andtook a picture and you get to see
all the pictures from it. Andthere's also if you if you really pay
attention, you'll say, oh,well that little that little sphere is in

(36:49):
the water. Well, yeah,that's somebody that took a phone, a
three sixty phone or camera underneath thewater while they're scuba diving, and you
can follow them while they scuba divethrough the coral reefs all these animals and
stuff. There's people, there's peoplethat did it with you know, African
safaris and stuff like that. Yeah, all this cool stuff. Man,
what's the fucking funny? Man?I don't get it. You know,

(37:10):
I'm out here trying to that's cool, man, I'm trying. I'm too
poor to take real vacations, soI gotta take these cheap vacations, just
live vicariously through Google Maps. Yeah, that's what I do. Kevin Nash
from the nWo says, do youbelieve extraterrestrial intelligence was here before humanity?

(37:32):
One million percent? I believe thatthere was a higher intelligent being than what
we are, years and years andyears and years before. Yeah. I
think that. Um, you know, here's I don't know if I want
to think this or if I reallydo think this, but I definitely see

(37:55):
that alien life could have definitely foundEarth for we existed. I think that
there's a very good chance that atsome point in time, maybe we are
derived from aliens who did some sortof fucking weird experience experiments with like their

(38:19):
genetics, and like maybe like aprimates, they're fucking monkeys or something,
and it made us. That's realpossible. I think that would be I
think that would be pretty cool.I do think that at some point in
time, especially during the big technologyboom that I think I do believe in
the whole reverse engineering thing. Ithink that something happened where you can look

(38:40):
back and I think, like,I don't remember when it when it happened,
but there was a certain point intime where the human brain just expanded
substantially from when we were like basicallyprimates to the time to where we have
technology. Like the evolution of ourbrain doesn't scientifically make sense unless something else

(39:02):
happened, okay, because we evolvedso quickly. Yeah, from what we
couldn't do to what now we can. It's almost fucking endless. Think about
what we've accomplished in the past onehundred years comminuted to the prior one hundred
Yeah, exactly. And I thinkthat you know, that could have either
been outside influence from finding stuff thatyou know have has came from other places.

(39:28):
And I don't know if necessarily it'swhat I believe. That's what I
want to believe. I think it'skind of cool to think about. Um,
yeah, it's I just like thinkingabout weird stuff like that. It's
it's fun. Oh, it's Iget it. I think that all I
have, you know, one thingthat k throws my brain into a tailspin.
The closest star to us. Youlook up in the sky, you

(39:50):
see the stars up in the sky, and you say, how how how
close? How close is one ofthose stars? You know, how how
far away the closest star to us? It is over forty trillion kilometers away?
Right, the forty triller is afour hundred. Hold let me,
let me, let me look thisreal quick. I got make sure.
Go for it. Man, fortytrillion kilometers away. That's an unfathomable number.

(40:15):
That's that's yeah, that's way upthere. It's insane number. The
light that you see from those stars, it is older than anything and older
than anything that you can perceive.Yeah, yeah, and that's that's crazy

(40:35):
me, man, just a we'rea we're a product of the big boom.
Well what about the booms before that? What about the boom before that?
And the boom before that? Whatabout this boom? I'm about to
give this fucking foot here in alittle bit of booming out right now.
Um yeah, I think that.Um, I don't know, man,
it's it's just weird, like andwe've said this before, but there is

(40:57):
there's no doubt in my mind thatthere definitely is is life outside of our
planet. Um, I would liketo believe that. You know, maybe
maybe they found us Earth to bereally close to where they came from and
they want to leave us. Theyjust should have left us alone. Maybe

(41:17):
we're like a fucking um bad scienceproject. Yeah, like a an ant
farm to them, you know whatI mean. They're just they're sitting back
and watching us distantly through our moonor something cool like that. You know.
I went to that live event andlittle Town and then those other guys,
the Cryptids of the Corn podcast.Yea, So one of them's dumb

(41:40):
like you and I, Hell yeah, and the other ones are raging fucking
scientists, just smarter than you cantell he's got. He's not got the
greatest social skills, right, buthe's really smart. Just the coolest,
fucking nicest guy in the entire world. Yeah, but as you can I
shouldn't say he was super or superincredibly nice guy, but you can tell

(42:04):
that his brain is too big.He has a hard time just fucking like
just dealing with normal people around peoplelike us. Sure, I shouldn't say
he had excellent social skills. Verysweet to me, wants us to come
up to wherever the eight Ohio anddo a show with them. Sleep in
there a fucking house. He's notused to dealing with people with autism like
us, dumb people, I guess. But they really They did a live

(42:27):
event about these organic UFOs, abouthow these organisms that live above our stratosphere
or whatever, and there they turninto these They essentially turn these blobs up
in the air, and when they'resailing through the air, they look like
they look like UFOs. They're allshimmery and glittery and stuff. But it's

(42:49):
much like a like a fucking schoolof triggers in the in the ocean,
like a school of shrimp or planktonor whatever. Right, that's what these
things are up in the air.There's these jelly blobs of made of organisms
that all stick together, and you'llyou'll think back to the Kentucky meat shower
from a fair type of shower.Have you heard the Kentucky meat shower.

(43:13):
No, it's just where they werefinding blobs of meat. Right now,
the sky's like what happened to you? Stay the night with Jerry Paul.
You're about you're about to feel thereal Kentucky meat shower Boy, and yeah,
they do a lot of good scientificanalysis on stuff like that. So
oh would check out Cryptids of theCorn. Good Dudes podcast is blown up.

(43:36):
They're doing a really good job.They're from Ohio, they're Ohio boys
like us. I haven't listened toit in a while, but there was
a clip that I saw today wasthis woman who was on the Joe Rogan
podcast, and she was talking abouthow they really have been making like robotic
birds. The birds aren't real,that the birds aren't real yet, and
they've even got it down to whereI think she said within the last ten

(43:59):
or twenty years, or maybe thoseten or twenty years ago. She actually
worked for the part of the governmentthat did it. They actually put we're
able to put like micro chips andmoths, a specific type of moth that
could either listen in to things,um like they would they would wait until

(44:19):
it was in larva form and implanta chip into it, and then when
it came out of its larva formand it became a moth, it could
still fly around. They'd be ableto monitor things through this chip. And
I was like, that's fucking cool. It's like I hate it, but
at the same time. That's fuckingcool. You know, a while back,
you and I talked about a TikTokvideo where these guys sent up a

(44:43):
Chinese spy balloon in the air thatsays, not a spy balloon with a
dildo. Yeah. When got backto those guys and they tagged us on
they tagged us on Instagram in theirvideo. They said, did they really
Hey, these guys are talking aboutus on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah,
that's awesome. Guys that did it. Yeah, they we to dick
up into the outer space. Godbless them. Man. I love to
have those guys on the show.Yeah, I'd like to just hear the

(45:05):
story of that about that dick.Yeah, they're listening to now and the
fucking hit us up. Jocelyn Milliard, do either of you have any hobbies
or activities that you love to dothat you don't talk about much in the
show. Do you have any withyour you know, any collections, any
strange hobbies that we might not necessarilyknow about. I like to drink.

(45:28):
Man, we're pretty transparent on here. Yeah, we're we We talked about
pretty much everything we get into.Um, I think my my hobbies bounce
a little more than Roberts. ButI'm really big. I like I like
woodworking. But mostly now man,just um, my thing lately has been
walking the dog. That's been myfavorite thing to game, just walking the

(45:49):
dog and bonding with her. Idon't remember why, just training her.
And that's where it's satisfying. Man. And now I'm really reading up on
dog training, and I want totrain the people's dogs, the neighbors.
Like I can't get my dog towalking on a leash. I said,
give me ten fucking minutes at thatdog walking on a leash. I'll fix
it. Yeah. I've really beengetting into just the the language of dogs,

(46:12):
and you know what their different characteristicsmean, different mannerisms. I'm not
good at it by any means.Love kitties, love kitty cats. Um.
I have an affection for older people, for old For instance, we
went to McDonald's yesterday, okay,and I went inside to get breakfast for

(46:34):
the kids, and there's an oldwoman sitting there were probably eighty ninety years
old, just sitting there, andthat maybe it broke my heart. She
was smiling at everybody that walked outof the restaurant, and nobody would even
mind her. No pay attention.And I walked up and I slapped the
table. I said good morning.She said hi, and I said Happy
Mother's Day. And this her eyesfilled full of tears, and she said

(46:54):
thank you. And she was dressedup real nice. She could tell she's
on her way church or maybe cominghome. And I said, you look
stunning today, A nice little blueblouse and some old woman fucking velcrow shoes.
Yeah, And she said, youare the nicest person that I've met
in such a long time. Thankyou so much. I think she wanted

(47:15):
me to fuck me, or wantedme to fuck her, but that's not
where I went with it. Ijust I love stopping to tell old people
they look happy, because a lotof old people look grumpy. Yeah,
And I don't be fucking with themwhen they look grumpy. Man, For
sure, they're happy, you cantell. You tell some old people are
just waiting for someone to stop andtalk to and give them the time of

(47:37):
day. And you know they maynot talk to anyone ever. Everyone they
love maybe gone, or people don'treally pay attention to them anymore, because
some people just think old people areannoying. But I love stopping to take
the time to invest in the elderlycommunity. I love that's that's very admirable.
It's it's a nice thing, andI've it's really been weighing on my
heart to go get to go dosomething at the local Nerves home. I

(48:00):
don't know what I could do,Maybe go play games with them. I
thought about maybe coming up with alittle hokey PG thirteen comedy skit and doing
something like that. I don't know. I can do fucking card tricks,
though I know that I'm real goodat card tricks. I can do some
of those. I just want to. I want to give back those people

(48:21):
that are I just don't have muchtime left, man. And some people
say, well, don't you justlooking to adopting an old dog, and
fuck that. I don't want todo that. That thing's really about to
die. I want these people,you know, they got a little bit
of time left. Maybe you wantto play bingo with me, but yeah,
that's just I have a affection forthem. Older people love war vets,

(48:45):
World War two vets, Vietnam vets. I've been trying to get a
World War two vet on the show. Yeah. I reached out to my
local community Facebook group and got afew Vietnam veterans, but no no World
War Two vets. They did have. They said, go up to the
go up to the h the AmericanLegion, and they can hook you up

(49:06):
with some guys that we would probablylove to do an interview from the fucking
them Nazi killers between Nancy killers.They're few and far between now, my
friend, they're they're the the hurdsthing. And for sure, buddy,
that's why they're American treasures. AndI just want to I want to document
their story. Their stories have beendocumented, but for sure, so many
of them have a story to telland they're never gonna be heard. Yeah.

(49:27):
Everyone, everyone's every one of theirstories are a little bit different.
They are man and that's what makesit so interesting. Yeah. Um yeah,
I'm straight transparent. The only thingI ever do is write and record
in music and coach my kids sports. That's literally all I have time to
do. And do this podcast.That's another thing. I got a lot
of stand up a lot of standup comedy stuff written, and I'd love

(49:49):
to go do just do do itshow. That'd be cool. Just do
And I know I could get Iget a couple of people come out and
cheer me on, get you drunkand heckle me and stuff. Yeah,
that'd be cool. Another thing I'veinspired to do my entire life I've never
really taken action with. We couldwrite the heck a little bit into your
skit, yeah, make it work, yeah, and then you can just

(50:09):
like completely own me the entire time. I don't want to toot my own
horn, but I'm afraid if ithits not not not likely, not likely,
you know, but if it hitsand then someone says, well,
yeah, we'd love for you tocome do some shows with this out of
town and it kind of turns inthis traveling thing, yeah, then I
have to pick between being a fuckingdad and a husband and pursuing a thing

(50:36):
in comedy. Yeah. So Ijust think, you know, I put
in the back of my mind,I say to myself, well, you
know, why do I want togo do it? Because even if it
does go well, there's there's noend in it for me. There's there's
nothing there. Yeah. Maybe maybeone day, just a one time,
just do it, see how itgoes, do it open mics and stuff.
Wouldn't wouldn't hurt absolutely. I justlove that I got a foot pussy

(51:00):
fussy. My nose is stuffing up. I didn't know. You're not even
close to be an empty brother.I can't find my uh my nose spray,
so I'm clogged up today. Ohgood, let's see Sean McDuck.
What is your fucking name? Ihope that's his real name. What is
your favorite memory so far in doingthe podcast? Um, it's really hard

(51:27):
to say for me. Honestly,I don't know if I have a favorite
in particular, but I really reallylike live shows. Anytime we do live
shows, I think that's like mymy favorite thing in the world. Um,
there's not one in particular that Ican think of. I mean,
it's been a couple of times inthis episode. There are there are these
certain episodes that I've laughed so hardI've cried. Those are always really fun.

(51:51):
Those always stand out, man,where you, yeah, think back
and you can't talk and you're slobberingyeah, and you're crying. That's happened
several times. I Mean, Ican't really can't really name one in particular
instance. But I just like doingthe live shows. I like performing in
front of people. I like meetingeverybody. That's that's my favorite thing about
the show that for sure. Therewas a moment a few weeks ago when

(52:15):
we're in Louisville and I looked upand the venue were in and there was
a line to the back of thebuilding and then around the corner, and
I said, Oh, what's everyonelined up for? And I kept looking
and they were online to take pictureswith us and meet us. Yeah,
it was. It was fun.And I said, is this really happening?
These people investing their time and thatshow, that show in particular,

(52:37):
I think that's probably the favorite liveshow, that most favorite live show I've
done. And we even had tour. The people that were working there were
not working so they could watch usand listen to us and like they were
having a good time with the twoAnd I don't think that's really happened with
one of our live shows where whoknows where you've really like captivated the people
working there. It easier to payattention because they're right looking right at us.
Yeah, yeah, but still itwas. It was really cool.

(52:59):
The the cruise that stands out,Oh, yes, the cruise, And
we're gonna do that again. Yeah, I did the math today. If
you don't, I think I'm gonnaput that for my answer. The crew
the cruise. Yeah, that wasthat was really fucking fun, a lot
of fun. That was really fun, and we're gonna do it again for
a longer amount of time. Idid the math today. You can get
a bro Hio podcast dot com slashcruise. You can call and book the

(53:22):
vacation through vacation Experts. It's onehundred dollars per person down payment, which
is non refundable. But you're goingso it doesn't matter. If you start
paying now. If you do itbi weekly, it's like forty dollars bi
weekly. If you start paying rightnow, ninety dollars a month, forty

(53:42):
five bi weekly. By the timethe cruise rolls around, you'll have this
entire thing paid off. This isfor two people. If you can find
somebody to go with you and sharea room, you guys are probably gonna
fuck, but it's gonna be cheaper. Yeah. You can also fit four
people in a room, so ifyou want to put split it, if
you really want to save, andthis is I should, I should.

(54:07):
The forty dollars bi weekly, that'sfor a balcony room. Yeah, if
you go uh and just get aregular a regular room. It's half half
of that. It's like twenty dollarsbi weekly. And honestly, you're not
spending a lot of time in theroom on a career, so you're not,
and if you are, you're fuckingso hard to fall asleep right afterwards.

(54:27):
Yeah, the best blow job I'veever had my entire life. Oh
man, I just I had noidea. The housekeeper he was in our
room and say it was the Jerseypeat. I'm gonna get another port of
that if you don't mind tear itup. Yeah, it was one of
those instances where my wife was done. I asked her, so do I
pay you? Or she gets madwhen I offered a pair? Do I

(54:50):
have to fold a towel animal foryou? Yeah? There's a lot of
a lot of favorite memories. Thefirst episode, you know that those first
that first episode where it went overa thousand downloads. I remember like he
kept on every week, we geta little better and a little better.
And the one we would look onthe download days, you know how many

(55:12):
downloads we had that day and thenthe first time we passed a thousand in
a day. I still remember thefirst day we put out the podcast,
the next day we had passed overtwo hundred. Yeah, and dude,
I felt like I was fucking famous. Man. Yeah, it's it's just
so cool, like just to seethe growth of the show. Um yeah,
and then we're just fucking doing cruiseshows like it's humble. Man.

(55:35):
We're thankful too. Yeah, it'sit really is. It really is awesome,
beautiful. I'm glad it's still going. Well, that's Kyle Defrost.
That's the button you hit on themicrowave by accident once in a while.
He said, let's talk about theGrim Reaper and King Charles Coronation. I
didn't watch us. I have noidea what this is referring to. Are
you are you familiar with the Iknow he had that. I know he

(55:58):
had that dope ass poke ball coreNation. Are you familiar with that the
other day? Yeah? Yeah,I know that happened. That's where he
officially becomes King. Yeah. Sooff in the distance, somebody caught a
snapshot of some creature or an ultimateultra villain here for what that foot man.

(56:20):
This is a bit bunch of peoplethat have asked me what what it
was. So I'm gonna but keepkeep going. I'm gonna play it for
you, Okay, Cooling Charles orNation Grim Reaper. Here you go,
all right, you gotta watch righthere? The fuck was that? Is

(56:46):
that? One of the things offStar Wars? A little fucking bear looking
things. Bro Let me drag itover. Someone going to fucking find a
little kids dick to suck. Putit on YouTube for you guys. Oh
yeah, yeah, I watch,I hear guys. It kind of thing.

(57:07):
Just yeah, look at it.Just a black hooded figure with a
stab. I don't know, man, it's the fucking Royal Lizard family.
They creep me out. I knowthey're doing bad stuff. They're so fucking
weird. They are weird. Andhe's got the big old fat pork chop
fingers. You're like the fucking wetWillie monsters. I find it so weird

(57:31):
that I find it so weird thatso many people in the United States give
a shit. Well I saw thisquestion, So what do you think?
I fucking no, no one.I don't know what I think. I
don't know what it is old penisfingers. Yeah, I think that family
is up to some villainous ship.Yeah, it's rough. But then I

(57:52):
started thinking about it even more,what the fuck does it even? What
are they? They're nothing, They'relegitimately they're nothing. If they hold power,
that's pretty much it they do.And I don't know how or why.
Yeah, I mean it's it's reallyweird because they're not like elected officials,

(58:13):
you know, and British people haven'ta I mean, well people from
the United Kingdom. They have tothis like family connection to them. They
love them, and that's that's onething I want to know. I mean,
we've asked this before and I don'tthink we got a lot of answers
on it, but our friends fromover across the pond, what like,
do you guys really give a fuck? Like honestly, and if you do,

(58:35):
they do, why why explain thatto tonight? I'm why. I'm
not like trying to be condescending oranything. I just want to understand.
Um, Yeah, I don't.I don't get it, and I would
kind of like to be enlightened.So yeah, send me an email right
on podcast gmail dot com, LeeNelson, What crypto do you think is

(58:59):
true? Bigot one million percent Bigfoot? I think he's a fucking wormhole traveling
time traveling loop de loop Portal scootingson of a gun. Yeah, I
think I think Bigfoot's real, interdimensionalshape shifting beast. Yeah. Why can't

(59:22):
we find a dead one? Alleasy, dumb ass, because one hasn't
died. They just live forever andever and ever and ever. I don't
know where, but I think anotherone, NeSSI I think that's another one
that's that's real. It definitely couldbe, especially knowing you know, us
not knowing fuck all about the water. We don't know what lives in the

(59:44):
water. And that's not even anocean. That's just a lock. That's
like a mix between a toilet.It's a stagnant pond. You crossed between
a pond and a toilet. That'swhat I was fucking making the shower the
other day when my wife was watchingme. It was a lock oll fucking
toilet creature. Hell yeah, man. Haley Louis sal Louis Sal Haley,

(01:00:07):
she's been listening for a long time. I recognize a face. She says.
Will there ever be a Wives episodewhere, like a Wives swap you
they take control of the show andwe just sit back with big titties.
We just don't do anything. Wejust let them have an episode of themselves
and then they pay us. Theycan just act like us and we spend
their money. That'd be kind ofcool. I'd love to have both of

(01:00:28):
them on here, especially for uh, I don't feel a love yeah,
because I know our love advice isnot going to be the same. I
would like Yeah, I would definitelylike to do that, for sure.
That's the one that she would Ithink I could talk her into doing.
Ask him if they knew how touse a fussy. Oh man, oh
lord Jesus, you're so pretty,baby shit, it really didn't blow up,

(01:01:01):
blow up. He fucking blew out. It's achilles. I think so
ugly. Man, I just blewit up like a balloon. Fucking frog
necked. Put that fussy back inthe bag. Start getting any ideas.

(01:01:24):
Oh, I'm a test driver.I wonder how hard it is to clean
out he because I remember she wentto one of them, um them sex
parties, and she came home witha like a jelly sleeve fucking pussy thing.
Had one of those, used iton me and I filled her up.
Dude, that does fucking things feelso good? I feel so good.

(01:01:45):
I went, I had my mynails dug into the ceiling and ship
like, some of your skeleton comesout, you come, bones and shit.
And then she just put it backin the two and it's back.
It's wringkles tube and then we leftit lay and then oh no, I
wanted to open it up about threemonths later and it was like me close

(01:02:13):
the lead, close a le,so like that fucking goat alp oh alp
dame. Oh yeah, dude,those things are wild. She's like,
try this thing. I said,no, no, no, no no
no no no no no no nono, not you. It's not you,

(01:02:35):
it's not you. It's oh man, Um Joshua Ellener. He says,
how many jelly beans can you fitin your ass? Easy? Five
hundred easy? Five? Well,if they're starbursh jelly jelly beans, they're
not getting to my buck because I'mgonna eat them. I'll eat them before
or after. I don't care.Um, starburush jelly beans are that shit?
They are really good? I say, probably a good amount, I

(01:03:00):
would assume. I mean, I'veseen the size of my ship sometime,
so if that fuss he can blowup like that, there's no there's no
limits to what my butthole can do. Yeah, I heard statistically, you
can fit raccoons in your ass,So I mean I I'm and they can
fit in really tight spots and you'reaunt, you're asking stretched to a certain
diameter. So I would say approximatelytwo hundred and sixty three good. I

(01:03:28):
like it. How about Paige,aren't long time listen? Longtime listeners wonderful?
He says, Ha, what's yourfavorite episode that you've done so far?
Um hmm. There's there's ones thatwe get done. We said,
that's a really good episode, andthere's ones we get done. We're just

(01:03:49):
like that fucking suck man. Andusually the ones that we think suck are
the ones that hit see it.The thing is, like, I go,
the ones I remember the most arethe old ones, so like Neverland,
Ranch, um, John ben ARamsey, those are the ones that
I remember. Oh, tallhat,blonde, black eyed children, black eyed
children. Um yeah, those ones, those ones I think I remember the

(01:04:11):
much. They're the most, SoI think those are probably up there.
I like, you know, theones are people the stories that people kind
of latch onto, like the FatCamp, the Hillary Clinton, Yeah,
Hillary Clinton's body count. The Disneyone was good, Disney's gone. It's
on Patreon. Though, yeah,uh, Project high Jump, there's a
good story in there. I loveall the Battlefield of loves. Those are

(01:04:33):
fun. Those are those are probablymy favorite episodes to do. Those are
fun. Um. So yeah,hopefully that answers Chris Vaughan. Have you
ever wanted to hang it up?No? I haven't never. It's never
crossed my mind to quit. No, And I it's so easy to quit
a podcast these days, there's somany the sheer magnitude of Dead podcast on

(01:04:56):
Apple Podcasts and Spotify staggering. Yeah, but I've never ever thought about It's
funny. My buddy Joey just theother day he was like, has there
ever been a time where you justhaven't wanted to do the episode? I'm
like, there's never been a timewhere like I've been like, fuck,
like I don't, I really don'twant to do this, And like I
think if it ever gets to thatpoint, then I think that's when it's

(01:05:17):
time. Yeah, you know,I mean if if when it feels too
much like and this is the thingis like we have so much fun together
and where it's essentially a second jobthat we get to just act like a
fucking idiot, act you know whatI mean, they're not. It's not
that we even it's not that wehave saved same wavelengths we're on where you're
on the single same wavelength. It'sthe same wave length exactly, and it's

(01:05:42):
yeah, if it ever becomes overbearingor you know, I mean, even
if if it does, we takea week or so off and it's you
know, it's fucking good now.Sometimes we take a week off. I'm
like, man, I was goodto just like chill out for a week.
Yeah, it's nice to reset alittle bit. But then we get
back to it and we say,man, it feels good to be back
and this motherfuck. Yeah. Yeah, there'll be sometimes we're like we'll do

(01:06:03):
an episode, say on Monday night, and then next week we don't get
around to it until like Wednesday,and we're like, fuck, it feels
like it's been so long. Areusually chomping at the bit to get back.
Yeah, we still, yeah,we're still like, yeah, hankering
to do some more episodes. We'venever fought no, never, never,
first time for everything. Fuck youpussy Pam Valencia speaking of pussy finger in

(01:06:28):
your butt or nuts slap? Whichone do you want? Which one would
you like finger in your butt ornuts? Slap my nuts? Put your
finger in my butt? Sweet Trades'sYeah, dude, I hear that.
I saw a meme about prostate milkingin the Brohio Podcast group. I hear
that feels pretty good. The wayI see it is that I have survived

(01:06:51):
having my nuts hit before. Idon't know if I could survive a finger
in my ass. I've never doneit before, so I could. It
may kill me. I bet youcould fucking live right through it, man,
I'm um, he know't. Imight like it. There's a fleshy
nugget full of your milk, dud, your butt dud, it's your butt,

(01:07:12):
taters. You down there here,it feels good. Maybe you want
to fucking finger our butts. Sendus an email bro Hio Podcast at gmail
dot com. There's been a lotof bears coming out of the out of
the woodwork on Instagram, Big BigHarry, Dude shubble bubbles looking for it.

(01:07:32):
Yeah, no shit, body slamus and beat the shit out of
us and stuff. I could neverbe a bottom, so that ain't gonna
work. I don't know what thatmeans. That's where you get you take
it you're a taker, not agiver. You're gonna have to get me
some hine kens. I know that. Literally. Yeah, Hey Danny Jay,
he says, what's the best adviceyou got starting out? Dude,

(01:07:54):
I fucking podcast has been around fora while, but no one helped us
in the beginning. No, noone gave us advice. It was just
pretty much us winging it like agoddamn chicken dinner. Yeah we did,
um. We exploited the system alittle bit. Um, but yeah,

(01:08:15):
we never really like I feel likebesides, you know, Jerry and Tracy
like sticking up for us and doingpromo swaps with us. I mean,
I feel like everything that we've Ithink it's rightfully earned. We've we've earned
it. Yeah, but then we'vehad a lot of people help us out
along the way. I remember Murder, Uh, you know, a hunter

(01:08:39):
with Murder and such. We're closewith him kind of starting out, and
then the girls over at uh ColorMedal, I mean they're kind of gone.
Now we've withstood the test of time, and yeah, we definitely did
a lot of networking and intermingling,and there was podcasts that we're more popular
than now that wouldn't touch us,yeah, or that we're just as popular

(01:09:01):
now three crime Garage. Okay,he said it, I said, fuck
you, guys, that's probably saythey're probably sot a little bit more popular
than we are. But still,I mean, it's it's it's it's different.
It's different shit. But I meanwe were nothing then. I get
it, but I never wanted tobe. You know that guy that's like,
oh yeah, how many how manydumbloads do you exchange? Someone?
Email us today and how much torun our promo on your show? Send

(01:09:24):
it our way, send it over, we'll play it. Yeah. No,
you don't need to pay us anything. Yeah, And that's the way
that we see it is, like, you know, I think that if
someone if someone likes our show bypromoting somebody else and getting them to listen
to another show, they're not gonnaup and leave our show if they really
like us, you know what Imean, there's wealth, enough wealth to

(01:09:44):
share. Yeah, there's millions ofpodcasts, there's you know, And that's
why I like you try to learn, especially with me, like I try
to learn that if someone doesn't likeus, it's okay. But yeah,
sometimes people are people fucking mean andit hurts my feeling so bad, it
doesn't still bother me anymore. Itdoesn't anymore, So why I just don't

(01:10:05):
look at him anymore? It's oneof those things they want a ghost update.
So the ghost update is we justhe properly, let's say, handled
the situation. I handled the situationthe best that we could. We did
not do it correctly the first time. We doubled back, did it correctly

(01:10:27):
the first time, and then wekind of stopped investing any emotion into it.
Yeah, and then it kind ofstopped. Yeah, that's as deep
as I'm going to get into it. It's a lot deeper than that.
There's some wild other shit that goneon, but I'm not going to invest
any more time or emotion in itbecause I think I've already done too much
too far. Sure so far,Yeah, I agree, skip over it,
young old you old your old pal, Brad. He said, um,

(01:10:54):
is there a subject you doubted atfirst but you believe in now?
And he left us some really kindwords on Instagram. Thank you, buddy.
We appreciate those kind of work.We really do love you and we're
appreciative of you listening to us.Is there anything you you know there's and
and this is the thing is thatover six years, we've done a lot
of episodes, um, a lotof things that I still couldn't tell you

(01:11:15):
if we've done episodes on them ornot. Like i'll say something you're like,
oh, yeah, we've done I'mlike, oh fuck, I don't
even remember that we did an episodeabout that. I know for sure that
there's been a couple of things thatI could see, you know, the
smoke and the fire. Yeah,after after fully going through. Honestly,
one thing I didn't really buy intobefore because I'm so much of a just

(01:11:38):
oh my god, shut the fuckup. Was the Clinton body count.
Oh yeah, yeah, I didn'treally buy into that. Before we did
the episode. I was fucking hookLine and Sinker right off the bat with
that, and I said, youshut up, man, it's it's all
politically motivated, which I mean itis. After we looked into all the
deaths surrounding those two people, thosetwo humans. While yes, they're they're

(01:12:01):
a political family, he was thefucking president of the United States for for
how eight years? Yeah? Ofcourse his life intertwined with a lot of
other lives. Yeah, but thestrange deaths associated with the people that have
died that are linked to that family. Whoa buddy, Yeah, there's that's

(01:12:28):
one of those things where you know, smoking fire for real, for real.
Graham X thoughts he wants to knowhow he became friends and a crazy
story from us. This is probablywhere your story is coming from, isn't
it. I it's a delicate story, but I think I have a way

(01:12:49):
of explaining it. Okay, Iwill say that I don't I know that
it was in middle school. Iknow that it was sixth grade, yeah
obviously. Yeah, Um, Icould not name a specific time and place
when I remember it was football.I know it is football. Yes,
football, we summer summer before sixthgrade. Yeah, after after fifth grade,

(01:13:12):
before sixth grade. We met playingfootball, and then we lived in
the same city, but we wentto different elementary schools. There's three elementary
schools in our area. Well obviouslyonce middle school comes, all three middle
all three elementary schools merge into youknow, one middle school. So that's
sixth through eighth grade in rob andI kind of hit it right off the
bat. I started staying in athis house a lot. He started coming
over and the one thing that Ihad never done before is listen to music.

(01:13:33):
I just I didn't listen to music. Yeah, and Rob, he
came over and he's like, youwant to turn on the radio? I
said, what how I had?I had a badass stereo setting there.
He's like, let's go over hereand turn this thing on. And we
turned on. I think at thetime it was one one three point nine
one three nine, and we stayedup all night requesting Lenny Kravitz. Flyaway.

(01:13:55):
Wasn't The Edge then? I thinkit was before it was The X
I can't remember. I think itwas called the Edge Edge. I called
this poor fucking radio station all night, dude. We called it so for
so long. We would change ourvoices like he a sly away yeah,
and the gass sorry. The worstpart about all this at that time,

(01:14:16):
we would explain it as gays.I had the CD now like Now one
or two. Yeah, because myparents, she's Alwa, used to give
me the Now CDs, and Ihad the Now CD with a song on
it. But we just wanted itwas just the fucking power. We'd never
done that before. Yeah, itwas cool man. Then finally they were
like, this song's for Nick.Yeah, he said, I remember him

(01:14:36):
saying something silly like this is formy buddy Nick. We talked about blah
blah blah, and we didn't sayany of the ship, but did we
We had that, we had todrove that. We had to drove that
fucking dude crazy. That's when theywere local DJ's. Yeah yeah, when
it was actually radio was actually athing. Oh yeah, we did get

(01:14:58):
a copyright strike from me a playingthree Doors Down on the guitar last last
episode. Yeah, um yeah,man, it's weird. Like I I
think I think I got and Idon't want to take full credit for everything,
but I think I got a lotof people into music because I had
I had such a shitty upbringing thatthat was like my only escape from everything.

(01:15:18):
And that's just something that I latchedonto really early. You you turned
me on one of my uh mostfavorite albums of all time. It was
by ever Last is Whitey Fourth ScenesAnd I got that album because you introduced
me to the what it's like Yeah, and I just uh another I remember

(01:15:39):
I heard um Rage against Machine forthe first time with you. That was
another good one. Corn was oneof the bands you got me listening to,
which Corn I still listened to cornto this day. But yeah,
you definitely hooked it up. Butthe new metal was tops Man back in
the day. Hit here's a story, here's this, here's Rob's gonna be
fucking mortified over the story. I'mgoing round and round and never told this

(01:16:00):
story, thought about it. We'veprobably thought about the story of if we've
thought about it once, we've thoughtabout a thousand times over the years.
But I was thinking of it todayand I said, you know what,
you and I really didn't do anythingwrong. It was mostly him and his
me. No, oh, youand I didn't do anything wrong. Okay,
this might not be the story you'rethinking of. Okay, I have
a story that I'm thinking of.I wonder if it's the same thing.

(01:16:23):
There was a friend's stay in thenight, okay, at my house or
your house, my house, okay, in the basement okay. And Robert
was a really good artist. Hestill is. But both of us can
draw pretty well. But Rob hewas a really he he uh, he
was ahead of his time a littlebit. He could draw really well when
we were that age. Ye seewhat was really when I was a kid,
Well, when we were kids,there was these how to draw books

(01:16:45):
that you could check out at thelibrary and it had like six steps how
to draw Scooby Doo and or likevarious other things, you know, And
I would always check out these booksand I would get the fucking techniques down,
so like you know, like tooat second or third grade, that's
when I just really started drawing.I would draw all the fucking time.
So yeah, I mean that thatwas my thing when I was gonna get

(01:17:06):
good. You know, there's athere's a bit of a racist element to
this story. So we're gonna we'regonna sub out the we were kids.
We're gonna sub out the racist inword, and we're gonna sub ind the
word taters. I'm not gonna saythe end where we're gonna say taters.
Mind you, we grew up ina fucking meth fueled Caucasian There were there.

(01:17:30):
We just did not grow up withanyone outside of white kids. And
it was you know, everyone's dad'sare racist, everyone's uncles are racist.
It was just a different time anddifferent and luckily we came out of it
whole and pure. Yeah no,uh, psychological issues. But this guy
wanted Robert, our our friend.You know, really, he's more of

(01:17:55):
an acquaintance. He was a friendat the time. Yeah, a friend
at the time. He knew Robertcouldraw. Really was like, I want
you to fucking dude, I wantyou to take an ink pen and do
it. I want you to drawa tattoo on him. Dude, I
fucking know the story. Now,Holy shit, this is fucking funny.
He's like, I want you todraw a tattoo on me. And dude,
this kid was Harry from the time. Yeah, it's always Harry.

(01:18:18):
He was I think he hit purebiddy when he was nine. Yeah,
man, And Rob said, well, well you want me to draw?
And he's like, I don't know, let me think about it for a
second. And he like took hisfucking shirt off and he was getting all
worked up down Robert's room, hittingthe curl bar. Yeah. It was
just it was like he's on theprison yard and he was just getting all

(01:18:39):
amped up. And then he stoodup. He's like all right, I'm
think I'm fucking ready and he laiddown, was fly getting tattooed. He
laid down and Robert like climbed upon his back. He's like, all
right, what do you want meto do? And Rob's like I think
I sat on his lower back.He did, like a fucking little game
boy. He wanted the tattoo acrossedhis shoulder blades under his neck, and

(01:19:00):
uh, Rob's like, what doyou want? He said, I want
you right, I hate taters acrossmy neck but it was really the end
word yeah, And he said Iwant you to write I hate taters.
And Rob looked at me and waslike, you know, I can't give
me his weird look and if Ishould do this, and then uh,
I just was staring just like Idon't fucking know. And then Rob started
smiling and he's like, all right, I got you, bro. This

(01:19:24):
is like, see I had,like I had really big ambitions whenever I
was younger, So I wanted tobe a tattoo artist for really fucking bad
because I could draw and I likedoing shit. And I think this is
the one instance I realized was likemaybe I don't. This felt like a
legit prison scene, felt like sothat I'm thinking, man, we're gonna
get a fucking trouble if he writeshis on there and this makes it back

(01:19:45):
to us, you know. Sohe starts writing and I'm just kind of
sitting there in the courts, fuckingwatching this all unfold, and the more
rob Dog starts to to etch.I see, he doesn't write I hate
Taters. He writes I loved Taters, which which makes no fucking sense because

(01:20:05):
you're still using Taters. But we'veflipped the script. Thought even, that's
why I said. We didn't doanything wrong. No, we were actually
making a mockery of this racist bastardum and we wrote I loved Taters across
his neck. Yeah. And thenhe stood up and Robert seriously lived in

(01:20:27):
a fucking dungeon. There was nomirrors, there was there was nothing down
there. You had a basement thatwas my room was half of the basement.
And he's like, the fuck doesit look And we were like,
fucking looks good, ship, dude. It comed up. He was like,
dude, it looks fucking good.He was like, I want one.
Taters is right there. That's whatit says. It really said,

(01:20:47):
I loved Taters across the top ofhis back. Yeah. And he started
just like flexing, doing more fuckingpushups and curls, and he just then
all of a sudden, he tookon this persona like he was the grand
dragon out in the Arian Brotherhood outon the wreck yard. But I don't
know if he ever found out whatwe did to him, I'd love I
hope his mom found it like thaton his back, I'm if I'm thinking

(01:21:08):
right. I'm pretty sure it wasSharpie. I think it was the same,
the same person. I shaved adick into one other, either into
his like into his lower back likehair, or onto his leg. I
don't remember which one it was.Oh dude, it was Oh my god,
look at this. Why are wethat's been up forever? Someone should

(01:21:31):
have said something on YouTube like theyprobably haven't. We have them in paying
attention. Yeah, uh yeah,but he said I loved Taters. That's
that's a fun story from our childhoodthat we've we've held back for a long
time. It seems like our fuckingYouTube stream is going in and out.
That's fine. I don't care anymore. We're almost done. Nick and Rob.

(01:21:53):
It would be cool if you atleast acknowledge the dial up. Yeah,
it's sorry, guys, I meanit. I don't know. It's
just I haven't been paying attention either, So I'm sorry here too. He
is talking about Taters. Oh man, are I was making Yeah, the

(01:22:14):
streams fucked up. I guess yeah, our streams being weird. You can
listen to it the trav D ninetyfive. So what's your favorite mystery from
Ohio? Um? Favorite mystery fromOhio? A good question. Fussy the
origins of the Fussy? Um?Ah shit, I don't know, man

(01:22:35):
um cry baby Bridge. Probably that'slike, that's like the the Big Boy.
I know there was a friend ofmine growing up. He had prison.
I like the present too. Heactually listens to the calling j D.
He knows who he is j D. Growing up his his dad,
Craig was my one of my bestfriends brother in law, and Craig had

(01:23:00):
this ordeal on Jacoby Road in Springfieldwhere he said that he was out there
and some guys with ball bats andlike bloody fucking white clothes come out of
the woods or I don't remember howexactly how it went. But then there
was some other guys, some olderdudes that we grew up around, who

(01:23:23):
swore that Jacoby Road out in yourSpringfield there was a cult that lived out
there and they would come out andattack your car and fuck your shit up.
Right, And I've always kind ofbeen infatuated with. Every time I've
looked into Jacoby Road, I've neverreally been able to find anything. I
think there's another another um, doesn'the sing for Papa Roach? Yeah?

(01:23:47):
Okay, there's another creature, amongoloid that lives out in your eating as
well. Fucking mongoloids with a bighead. You got dropped on the head
when he was a kid. Butthe Jacoby Road that's always kind of grabbed
my interest. And then there's thethe Thirteen Steps to Hell not far from
here on Indicott Road and Huber Heights. Okay, love to go, love

(01:24:11):
to go there? Oh you Yeah, that's a big that's a big one
for me. That's a good one. Yeah, we did. We covered
that on a live show, oneof our first live shows. Yeah,
at Lucky Star. Well, uhno, it was one of our first
episodes, was it. I thinkit was our So our first episode was
right, pat and then our secondepisode was half athens and half black eyed

(01:24:32):
children. Okay, you're right,Yeah, that's right. Good. Nice
look at you, Hannah said.Uh. Hannah got on Instagram. She
said we reminded her of her cousinsthat barely got their g D. Thank
you for the kind words lightless walk? Has Nick constantly been the bottom since
day one? Um? Yeah,pretty much. I don't think you give

(01:24:56):
off bottom energy. I'm kind ofyou got a pretty big person sality.
I think that's I think that's atop I think you have top energy.
I think I'm more of like acheering on energy. You know I'm in
the room. You just want everybodyto have fun. I'm not either fighting
or fucking you just want everybody havea good time. Yeah, man,
you bring Rice Crisp retreats to theorgy. I do that to my wife
all the time. She's like,what are you doing? I just want
you to enjoy yourself. I justwant you to have fun. Oh I

(01:25:20):
am oh man. This person's username as serious as dog dirt on Instagram.
Okay, opinions on urethral sounding uhno, absolutely not fucking checking me
out on that. No, thankyou. You cannot put stuff in my
dick hole. No, I can'teven imagine. I've seen I've seen fucking
Why are you just massaging a knifeof everything? Dude? I saw this

(01:25:44):
video where um this dude it usea urethra sound that was too like it
was wasn't long enough and it wentinto his dick and he couldn't get it
out. No, and yet Ithink nothing I would ever consider it besides
that. But yeah, that's ano. That's a big for me.
I remember I took the ins.I have a like a big pen.
Oh dude, when I was akid on the toilet and I started try

(01:26:06):
and shove it my dick hole andit hurt really bad. This is for
real, this is fairly for real, for all for all. It's fr
fr g. This guy got meat work today and he's never gonna listen
to this good strong Christian man.Yeah, oh, you ain't listening.
We were talking about some air codeson a piece of equipment and he's like

(01:26:28):
um, and I started taking notesabout what was wrong, and he's like,
it's also got this air And hewas looking at me. He's like
you want to write it down?And I said, yeah, what is
it? He's like, it's ID ten T. And I wrote it
down and I'm just looking back athim and he's just fucking laughing and I
can't figure out why he's laughing.And I'm like, what's wrong, what's
going on with you? He's like, thanks for writing that code. Down.

(01:26:53):
He's just laughing. And I goback and I look at my notebook
again and ID then, Yeah,it's a fucking idiot. He's just like,
right, this one down eight onesix eight zero zero eight five pen

(01:27:20):
fifteen fifteen. Fuck it man.Jac's we did her Patreon shout out.
She says we called her jiz Dick. I don't remember that. I don't
either. That seems awfully drags blasphemy. Creepiest thing that's happened because of the
podcast. Um, aside from thefucking shit flying across creepiest it is for

(01:27:46):
mehreepiest thing that's happened because of thepodcast. UM. I will say we
did a live show in Louisville,and then afterwards we did the Haunted tour
of Waverley. That was pretty fuckingcreepy for me. Obviously the ship that

(01:28:10):
went on my basement, yeah,and up in my kitchen. But then
also I had that one creepy guythat was listening to the show. Yes,
he started calling my parents house inthe middle of night asking for you,
my parents landline, asking for me. That was yeah, that was
yeah, That's why I'm glad you'rethe bigger personality of the two of us,

(01:28:32):
people get more of an emotional rowlsout of me, so that I
kind of watch people would call myparents tell them to fuck off. Yeah
yeah, that kind of creeped meout and piss me off. And then
my wife at that point, she'slike, I want you to stop doing
it said stop doing what she saidpissing people off. Oh I thought she
meant the podcast. I can't stoppissing people off. I didn't even piss

(01:28:56):
this guy off. You just wantedto talk to me and I but I
alienated a fan that day. Isaid, I hope you fucking die.
Yeah, like your carcass burns.Like he's like blocked on everything, and
yeah, he but I mean there'sthere's boundaries that you do not cross.
And I mean, obviously we can'ttalk to everybody we would like, we

(01:29:16):
would like to have the time tobe able to I had some dudes call
me one time that got my phonenumber from a recruiting service from fucking they
saw they're looking up somebody for aposition. They saw my name. They're
like, oh, yeah, that'sis that him? And they called me
and I was sleeping because I workeda weird shift. I said, oh,
listen this nicolicious, like, yeah, who the fuck is this?

(01:29:38):
I was I was sleeping, butthey got my, uh my phone number
from a recruiting service, which ohman bum that sucks called That was cool
with him though they seemed like niceguys. Yeah, they seem nice as
long as I mean making the initialcall and then abusing it after that,
that's that's completely different. And thatI've given my phone number to a lot

(01:29:58):
of people over the years. Therethere's definitely boundaries to the podcast, and
everyone that's taken my number has beenso fucking cool about it and not giving
a fucking number out or yeah,not abused it. There's been you know,
I mean you look right now.I just I can't and I'd be
heartbroken. I've had the same numbersince I was sixteen, and I do
not would ever have to change it. I got four hundred and fifty four

(01:30:21):
holy fuck you early do four hundredHey I'm over here, four hundred and
fifty four unread text messages, twentyone thousand emails. I'm not proud of
it, dude. That would giveme anxiety so bad. I can let
my emails go because I don't reallycheck my emails. Because that's so fucking

(01:30:43):
dated and old. Um. Buttext messages, Oh man, if I
see a one a one by thatlittle notification, it drives me fucking mad.
What if you what have you startedcrossing a triple digits there? Oh
dude, I don't. I don'tknow what I would do. Yeah,
I just don't. I don't.It's don't write people about I would.
I would look at him and justnot respond if I got that bad.

(01:31:03):
Yeah, I'm glad I'm not inthat four hundred right there. I know
what I do. I just thenmy wife will text me like, did
you get my message? Yeah?Probably, I don't know. It's at
some point sag ahead which Robert's thoughtson Parks and Rec. I love Parks
and Rec. Um, I doprefer the Office, as I'm wearing an

(01:31:26):
office shirt right now. Um,but yeah, I love Parks and Rec.
It's a close second. I lovepretty much everything about that show.
I love watched it. I loveAbrey Plaza, so anything she's in I'm
already fucking in. Um. RonSwanson's a fucking great character. Leslie Nope's
a great character. Um. Iknow it's weird as to watch the Last

(01:31:48):
of Us he's one of the gayguys in that. Yeah, this his
mouth fucked and stuff. Yeah,she shows him making out hardcore with another
guy. That's so hot. Itis just getting after it. Man.
Chris Pratt's fucking great in it.And Parks and rec Um I love Yeah,
I love Parks and Reck. Ijust watched Guardians of the Galaxy for
the first time. Yeah, hetold me that the first and the second

(01:32:09):
one. Did you did watch thesecond one? Okay? Cool? Second
One's awesome, really good. Butnow we were supposed to go see the
new one over the weekend. Wedidn't make it though. Oh that sucks.
It's so fucking good. Yeah,I think. I think it's great.
I can't wait to see it.And I watched I watched End Game
again and I just remember, dude, you can't be right before the pandemic
started, and I remember everybody inthat movie theater was just like whoa.

(01:32:30):
They're like, you know, screamingand cheering. Yeah, did we see
that together? We didn't know wedid. I thought we did. I
saw that with somebody. I thinkit's either you or my brother. It's
probably your brother. It wasn't me. They were just wild in that theater.
Man. Were they cheering in theone too? Oh? Yeah,
yeah, it's I don't think atFriday night yep, Oh god I missed
that. Yeah dude, it wascrazy. Um was there any of that
in the New Guardians of the Galaxythree? Uh? There was anybody really

(01:32:54):
cheering? No? No, wewent on I mean and we even went
on release night and people are prettythere was like laughing. Of course people
are laughing. Um, but yeah, it's it's it's like a lot of
people, a lot of people don'tlike guard into the Galaxy and I don't.
They say it's all like fucking derivativeof other space movies. At the
same time, it's like, sureit is, it's space. It's yeah,

(01:33:16):
exactly, you can only do someThere's only so much we know about
it is it's so you know,it's it's a derivative subject. But like
it, there's enough going on towhere it here here. Here's the thing.
I'm not a movie critic, somy my whole basis of whether a
movie is good or not is whenI'm watching the movie, am I thinking
about what's going on in my reallife? Yeah? If I'm not,

(01:33:38):
and it's got my attention then Ilike it. It's kind of wanted to
start going down a line of classicmovies that I should watch. Yeah,
I started watching The Godfather in bedlast night. I've never seen The Godfather
before. I've never seen it either. I think Citizen Kane will be one
of my next ones after that.That's critically like one of the top three

(01:33:59):
movies of all time. So I'mgonna check those out. I don't think
i've ever seen it before. Probablystupid, but I'm gonna watch anyways.
I think it's one of those thingsthat people just say it's that good because
other people say it's that good.I think it might be one of those,
but I don't know. We'll findout. We'll see let me know.
Will Brendan Dolbear says, what kindof cars do you drive? I
don't know if you're comfortable talking aboutthat or not. I drive a Yeah,
I drive a Terrain Denali. Idrive your mom's pussy into the wall.

(01:34:27):
Yeah, I drive a GMC Terrain. I drive a Bard Fusion and
h Early Electricly you go. So, I recently bought my car and I
had to fight internally with myself totry to see if I could get rob
Dog as plates. I wanted to, but I'm like, man, if
someone has rob Dog taken, I'mgonna kind of be hurt. Well,

(01:34:50):
there's a website where you can checkI might need to do that. There's
there's one I got picked out forus, and it's it's available. I
mean, I think I'm gonna getit. I just get a do it.
But yeah, I pay homage tothe show. Yeah, I thought
about doing that. I already hadthe Brohio sticker on the back of my
car and then a big foot sticker. Shio is not available. I will
see that. Really, someone fuckingCleveland probably has it for sure. Yeah,

(01:35:15):
uh tell you God sixty four howto make Grandma's clam showder. He's
gotta be a really hot day.I just gagged, really hot day.
No shower. Yeah, you needa ziplock bag. God, So some
mushrooms fuck and some dog food.Grandma she don't that bitch don't cook.

(01:35:44):
She makes kool aid. That's it. She's a lazy, lazy bitch.
Last question Zach Nicholson. He says, have you ever considered your own flight?
Your own I'm sorry, your ownline? A fleshlights modeled in the
shape of your own buttholes. Haveyou ever considered anything like that before?

(01:36:08):
Never? He also wanted to say. He asked the question, would you
ever consider making your own line offleshlights, you know, modeled into the
shape of our buttholes? But thenhe went on to bade us and say,
we probably couldn't do it because itwouldn't be cost efficient, effective or
whatever, because our puffy assholes woulduse up too much plastic it wouldn't be

(01:36:32):
efficient to make. Yeah, dude, if we made butthole flesh lights,
we would sell. We would sellat least one if if we had to
buy one another's, we would sellat least one fleshlight butthole flesh light.
Yeah. My wife has tried toget to get me to get one of
those like dickles. Yeah, andI'm like, why would you want such

(01:36:54):
a depressing dildo like you got allthese beautiful specimens here our buddy Marty Bass.
Marty Bass sent us a picture thispast week. Oh is that him?
It's a cardboard container of Bob Evansmashed potatoes with a whole poked in
it. It has his three inchdick hanging out of it. Very hairy

(01:37:15):
dick. I sent that to everybodyI knew. Man, I said that
my mom, my dad. Isent that fook old fucking teacher. Yeah,
said to everybody. It's funny mymy doctor that I've had my entire
life. He retired about a yearyear or two ago, but me and
him are still buddies. He stilltexts me, and he sends me these

(01:37:36):
really fucking derogatory and text messages allthe time, just old man humor,
and I just laugh at it.Yeah. But his birthday was the other
day, and I said, happybirthday. Let me let me find it
real quick. I gotta tell him. I gotta read this verbat him because
it was hard to word happy birthday. The only other person besides my wife

(01:37:59):
I've said to look at this thingfor me and meant it. Damn it,
Happy birthday. Doc. I wentthere one time. He said,
what what do you need? Man? What's going on? I want you
to crack my back all right?Straighten me out, crack my back?
Well you need I used some steroids. He said, what the fuck you
need those for? Get bag?He said, do you lose some fucking

(01:38:25):
weight? First? Damn it?He said, I tell you what.
I'll be back in six months,if you lose one hundred pounds, I'll
prescribe you steroids. I came backsix months later, I weighed like fourteen
pounds more. Did You're not gettingany steroids? Oops? That's all I
had to do, all right,But from the bottom of our jelly donut

(01:38:46):
field hearts, thank you so muchfor inviting us into your lives over the
past six years. It means somuch more than we could ever put into
put into words. And we reallyappreciate you guys listening. Like we've said
it, you know, real timeswe're in this episode. But yeah,
you guys really do make the showhappen. So we definitely appreciate it.
And you keep on investing in this. You keep on you keep coming back,

(01:39:10):
you keep listening, you keep absorbingthe content, and we're thankful,
you know we at this point,you guys know more about the show than
when he weaven doing. We're theones I fucking hosted, So yeah,
it means it means the world.We really do love you, and I
would love to see every single oneof you on this cruise. There's enough,
there's enough rooms on there to houseall of us. We'll just sell
the sell the bitch out, sellthe fucking boat out. Tell all these

(01:39:33):
people call, I want to booka room too late, it's sold out.
Yeah, we saw this boat.I'll buy everybody a drink on it.
Yeah, we will, at leastone. I don't know how many
people they can fit on one ofthem bitches on a boat, Yeah,
a lot. We could definitely lookup how many fucking people that boat fits

(01:39:58):
capacity. Mariner of the Seas,let's see four thousand fuckers, yeah,
four thousand butt huggers, fourteen dicks. No, that's decks, fourteen decks,
one hundred and thirty eight tonnage.That's how big the ship was.
I took earlier. I mean passengerswas the Titanic two hundred? I think

(01:40:21):
it's only fifteen hundred, But Ilook real quick, okay, okay,
thirty three twenty. Yeah, therewere eleven hundred and seventy eight. There
were twenty live coats on board.That's right there, you go. It
would have held a capacity of elevenhundred and seventy eight people. Meanwhile,
the capacity was actually thirty three twentyOkay, a lot of people. Yeah,

(01:40:45):
that's a lot of people. Youthink about how big the Titanic was
at the time. But all thesecruise liners now are way bigger than they
They're like four times the size ofthe Titanic. Crazy. It's really weird
and bitches, don't you know.One of the eriest parts for me,
We were going one into the sailinginto one of those Royal cook Yeah,
I loved coca. You're sailing intothere, and I looked down and you

(01:41:10):
could tell the ocean below us washundreds of feet deep. Yeah, I
don't know how deep it was,but you could see the bottom. You
could tell that it was probably sixtyseventy eight feet deep. I don't know
how deep it was, but youcould see the bottom perfectly. That's how
clear this water was. But itwas ear you know, if you fell
off the side, even though youcould see the bottom, your ass was

(01:41:32):
gone. You're going down. Yeah, what's really fucking eries when you're out
at night and you can't see afucking thing like and we're talking like this
isn't this isn't really gonna make peoplecome on the ship. Just if you
don't look over the edge, you'refine. But yeah, if you're out
on the night on the deck,you can't see where the ocean stops and

(01:41:54):
where the sky begins. It's gorgeousand you see the stars. It's it's
gore. Just it's beautiful to watcha little chinaman get beat up by the
local authorities to try to jump manjumper. Yeah, a man, get
them vats every time. We'll beback soon with a regular episode something good
for you, guys. But inthe meantime, take care of one another.

(01:42:19):
Cheers the six years, my friend, cheers, cheers the queers and
six years, yes some of thisice. Thank you guys, and I
want to go back and touch onthe question they said we ever thought about
hanging up. We've actually discussed whichone of our kids who want to pass
this podcast off to you we haveMy middle sum was actually just asking today

(01:42:43):
when he could be on an episodesoon, very soon, like if we
run out of ideas. You gotit, buddy. Thank you guys so
much for listening. We appreciate it. Thank you for the six years.
And here's two six more sixty nine. Yes, m I want to see

(01:43:18):
your dass take