Pine Barrens: Jersey Forest From Hell

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Tapioca putting tastes like maggots. Thank you everyone. This is
a Sunday edition of the Brohio podcast. Eight years Robert
placed the corn cob dildo on the table and I
started shouting and it fell over. The Happy Sunday everybody,

(00:40):
Well it's Sunday for us. Who knows when you're listening
to this, But that's the way podcasts worked, and not
really live. They recorded, so it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
It does not matter.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
But at this point in time, if you felt the
earth shift from its foundation, it was a gigantic corn
cob dildo that fell over in the Prohio Studios. I'm
I'm crossing the finish line on getting getting us a
geo filter on Snapchat for Brohio Studios.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
That cool time.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
We've been working really hard on it, but I just
wanted first like a Brohio podcast geofilter. Yeah, but it
got rejected because it's like a logo for a brand,
it has to be a location. So okay, the location
has been named the Brohio Studios, our logo of course
with studios. So hopefully this week that's pretty cool. You'll

(01:30):
be able to do a Snapchat picture and then Brohio
Studios will be on the Geofilter Nice. So then everyone
can just drive around Vandelia looking for our filter and
once they find it, like, oh, this is where Nick lives.
It's pretty simple.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Sweet. Yeah, it's good way to dox yourself. Fucking why not?

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yeah, speaking of docks and yourself, you've all doxed yourselves
by putting yourselves in our Patreon feed. How about that? Uh,
we got some new Patreon subscribers. How about small all
dick Daddy from Cincinnati. That could be you or I?

Speaker 2 (02:06):
It could, but we're not from Cincinnati.

Speaker 1 (02:07):
No, I am going to the I got a tour
on Friday at the Bengals Stadium. Oh yeah, get to
go to their new locker room and go down the
field and taking the girls with me.

Speaker 2 (02:15):
Nice and uh yep.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
And then Sunday's Father Well I got I'm thinking about
taking Thursday and Friday off work just because well, Friday,
I'm definitely taking off. Yeah, And then Saturday, I got
a golf outing with with Appy and those guys. Nice
and then uh, Sunday is Father's Day, which I'm gonna
make my whole family rub my feet and ship. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
I didn't even know that.

Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yeah, Sunday's the day, all right, you got the next one?
Oh shit, this is uh somebody you shouldn't even be
fucking listening to us. I got a lot to say
about Captain.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Puffy Nips, you fucking you, fucking rule breaker.

Speaker 1 (02:52):
From the very beginning, we laid down very little rules,
but one of the rules of this show, you got
puffy nips. We don't want you listening. I have inverted nipples,
and that's why I don't like puffy ones, because I
got Phillips head screwdriver slots on mine. Dude, I do

(03:14):
like my nipples kind of look like there's like a
uh Phillips head screwdriver, like a screw and my wife
always asks if she can try it out, and I'm like,
I don't know what you what you want to do
besides them fucking embarrassed me, hurt dude, Like, I hate

(03:35):
having my nipples touch Dude. I don't like it in
the in like moments of passion. Either makes me feel weird.
I just don't like it. It makes me feel icky.
I just have this reoccurring nightmare of my nipples being
chopped off. Oh God, And I don't know why man,

(03:56):
I don't know, I don't like it. How about Ben
Marler aka Big Old Red Nuts.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Hell, Yeah, Red Nuts.

Speaker 1 (04:06):
I don't know how one acquires the nickname Red Nuts,
but I'd be interested to hear the backstory.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
That's my native American name.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
Ben Marler. Thank you for.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
Yeah, man, thank you for your nuts, thank you for
your nuts. And last but least, we got Terry Helgason. Helgason, Sure, Helgason.
That sounds like a very Nazist last name. It does,
but I.

Speaker 1 (04:29):
Would have to believe that anyone named Terry and Nazi Germany,
Germany would have been exterminated rather immediately. So Terry, thanks Terrence,
thanks for being here.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
Appreciate you.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
Your fucking dad did your mom's pusses teed it up?
Fucking up? Hey. Screenshot of that girl used to go
to school with He got arrested. She was missed her
teeth and she had a tattoo on her throat that said,
choke me. Oh no, I don't know if I sent
you the other one.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
Maybe you didn't.

Speaker 1 (05:04):
Jg No, there was that one. I remember that one,
and then there was another one, and she had a
tattoo in her throat that said choke me. Okay, no,
I don't think you sent it to me. She went,
she was her sister was in our grade. But dude,
she is oh fucking rough buddy.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Oh fuck dude.

Speaker 1 (05:29):
But I liked that she comes with directions. Wow, choked
me on her throat. Damn man, that's hardcore, dude. She
was very attractive whenever we were young lads. Yeah, I
mean I remember her, but I don't remember her. I
do I remember? Yeah. You know what else I remember

(05:50):
is the first time I drank screwdriver behind a warehouse
in Northwesch and I got alcohol poisoning and almost fucking die.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (06:00):
And that leads me to my next story.

Speaker 2 (06:02):
Okay, that's a weird segue.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
Kindergartener brought jello shots to school, gave them out the students,
says district.

Speaker 2 (06:08):
A cool kid. Oh that's what's up.

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Pennsylvania school has launched an investigation after it said a
kindergartener brought jello shots to glass. The Greater Johns Town
School district sending statement shared a social media that the
student had given out alcohol in the form of small
jello shots to three other students.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Can you imagine trying to teach a classroom of five
or fucking loaded five year olds shot.

Speaker 3 (06:42):
You know, I hate dad, fucking dog blue a real
fucking calling.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
In an isolated incident. The press release signed by superintendent said,
h immediate action was taken when staff became aware of
the incident and the effected students were evaluated by the school.
Emergency medical services transport the students to a local hospital
out of an abundance of caution, where this the their

(07:09):
parents were able to meet them. The students said that
the shots were I'm sorry. The statement said the shots
were confiscated and local authorities are working with the school
to determine how the student obtained them. I want to
assure our families the health and well being of our
students is our top priority. Counselors and support staff will
be available for any students who made us that's a

(07:35):
little too much, though, dude, I think they need the counseling,
because fucking the whole entire process of eating a jel
shot is just truly traumatic and profound. It is you
got a tongue it like it's a fucking butthole to
loosen it all up, and then you just get a
throat full of goo and you just gotta swallow it.

(07:56):
If nothing else, it teaches you like how to like
just wallow load. Yeah, big old gelatinous load. Yeah. Oh yeah,
I know I can handle you because I used to
do jel shots in the second grade.

Speaker 2 (08:10):
The longest innsons I've even seen yellow shots.

Speaker 1 (08:12):
I got this one buddy that all anytime there's a
anytime there's anything.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
It could be a.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
You know, like a anything whatever it is. You know,
you guys are getting together for good, like a circumcision party.
Not I mean, it doesn't even have to be that much.
He says. You know, let's I want to buy that
that couch you had on Facebook. Okay, come pick it up.
And he shows up. He's gotts. That's kind of how

(08:42):
he he just you know, there's like some guys that
just drink beer while they drive. Yeah, this dude the
road beer is pretty cool. He just keeps jelo shots
on him, keeps him in his pocket at all time.
I think is tremendously gay.

Speaker 2 (08:57):
I mean, it's it's shows good preparation skills, right, it does.
I mean, always planning for always planning to do some
yellow shots. It's kind of cool.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
But he always has him, dude, and uh, they're nasty.
I don't like. I mean, I'll do them if I
have to. And you know, I go to the Bengals
games and my tailgate and there's there's some big tailgates
around there and they always have jellow shots. They're just like, yeah,
they make them orange and stuff, and it's a big deal.
Everyone does a jello shot together. And my brothers he

(09:32):
gets so mad every time I hate him a jellow shot.
He's just like, sucker fucking car. So it's like turns
into Yosemite Sam over a jello shot. Many fucking homophobic redneck.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, that's what it is like, dude.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
You went to college, you know, do a jealous shock?
Come on, Oh you guys suck a little cock in college? Man,
if everyone does that, yeah, they do that. The first
day everybody experienced one. Yeah, you're gonna need to learn
how to do this. Well.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Yeah, I was.

Speaker 1 (10:17):
Uh, my wife and I went to a nice seafood
restaurant the other night and which one Jay's, And they
said that, uh, there were there were all old people
in there. And I asked the surfer, I said, you guys,
get you guys ever getting people like us, you know,

(10:37):
people in their thirties. And he's like, you don't mind
me standing here and talking to you for a minute,
do you? I said, uh no, not really why and
he went on to explain that they are seeing them
really aggressive decline in the amount of people from our

(11:01):
specifically younger than our generation. There is such food a
versions from all mostly our generation and younger. And I
thought about that and it really hit me that there
are so many people I know, younger people my age

(11:22):
and younger especially my kids, their friends, just younger people
around that don't eat anything aside from just land chicken
tenders and mac and cheese. And there's just like the

(11:43):
serious fucking food a version of good food.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Man.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
The servers said, I you know, I'm not I'm not
saying it, but I don't know how much longer that
we could stay in business if if we have to be,
you know, if our services, if we're being sustained by
the older generation, they're obviously gonna die. Yeah, in the
younger generation, they don't want anything besides steak, yeah, chicken,

(12:12):
and French fries.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Which which is really weird. I mean, I guess that
depending on you know, depending on how you cook it
and which you know which fish it is. You know,
that's depends on the fishiness of the of the meat
or whatever. But it's like the best meat for you,
it is and it's usually it's fucking good.

Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's delicious. And I found for my kids and they
have My daughters have a lot of friends in and
out here all the time. Do they don't eat anything
besides chicken tenders and pizza and that's it. And they
don't none of them do condiments. They just want ketchup,
like every single one of them. They're just like, man, ranch,

(12:52):
fuck ranch.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
What I feel like if you're not coastal, I feel
like it's it's very out of the norm.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
But it's not just so I'm saying it's not just seafood,
that the generations after us are just have such aversion
to anything outside of what they eat every single day,
whether that's pizza rolls or ramen. My my youngest daughter

(13:20):
will eat. I know it's not good for she'll eat
ramen noodles every single day and won't and won't and just.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
Like no nutritional value whatsoever.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
No vegetables. I mean, we've dumped fruit and vegetables on
their plate. Their whole entire lives. No fucking vegetables, dude,
not a I don't even think about putting a stalk
of broccoli on their plates. Closing thing that the vegetables,
the fucking green flakes of fish food they put in
the ramen facts. I mean, ketchup the tomato and the ketchup.

(13:49):
That's as close as we get to a vegetable. I
don't even think tomatoes a vegetable. I think it's a fruit,
honestly from what I've heard. But it's a and I
think about it. I see it. And whenever we go
to you know, my daughter's and drama, and we went
to their their drama into the year banquet thing and

(14:10):
on the buffet they had uh pulled pork chicken like
chicken from Kroger or whatever, and buffalo chicken dip and
a few other things. These kids only took the chicken
and potato chips. That's all they took. Yeah, they left
the pulled pork they left.

Speaker 4 (14:31):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
There was like these little like kesh thingies with like bacon,
cheese and an egg. Right Nah, not single one of
them were touched.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Yeah, do you I mean, do you think that I
think about this all the time. It's like, do you
think that it's like a I don't want to say
a cultural thing, but like, historically I would say that,
let's go back to our grandparents. I think that during
those times, their parents didn't really give them much of
a choice as to what the fuck they're gonna add.

(14:57):
It's either you eat what we're making, or you're gonna
go fucking hungry. Whereas I feel like our generation and
even like maybe some of our parents are more like, oh,
I know you like chicken nuggets, and if you don't eat,
you know you're gonna be hungry. So I'm gonna make
sure you get chicken nuggets. Do you think a lot
of it's that.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
There's been times in this house and my wife is
she'll make me salmon. Yeah, And on a night like that,
she'll make four different dinners for five different people. Yeah,
because no one eat fish, no one eat salmon. And
she's sympathetic the fact that I want to eat things
outside of the usual chicken beef. I love experiencing new food,

(15:36):
and I love I love Do you just like cooking
seafood a home on the grill or black and fish
at home? Whatever? On the grill. I just love that stuff,
and she knows it, and she won't eat fish. Yeah,
my wife is the pickiest eater ever. And it's maddening
sometimes to live in a house where nobody eats anything.

Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, but maybe you.

Speaker 1 (15:55):
Just write us lest know if maybe you experienced the
same thing, or if you got kids to eat all
the different things. I don't know. My dad's son eats ass, Me.

Speaker 2 (16:08):
Dad son.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
My dad's son Nick eats ass and black and fish
and salmon.

Speaker 2 (16:16):
What a guy he is.

Speaker 1 (16:17):
My dad's son eats black ass. Here's a quick break
for a few of our sponsors. Thank you for our
friends at black ass dot com. What do you think,
black ass? Let's let's go to that website real quick.

Speaker 2 (16:37):
It's gotta be It's gotta be something.

Speaker 1 (16:39):
Oh yeah, dude, blackass dot com. If this is for sale?

Speaker 2 (16:44):
It's for sale? Looks like it. Uh, let's it's a
drop page.

Speaker 1 (16:48):
It redirects you to the team ski teams dot com. Okay,
these these ladies look nice.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
You looks like lovely ladies.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
Younger generation. They probably only eat chicken tenders. Yeah, there's
a stretch of New Jersey that most people don't talk
about a place where trees well, they seemed to whisper
in the wind, where ghost towns rotten silence, and where,
according to folklore, Satan himself decided to raise a child.

(17:21):
Oh shit, my mom and dad thought they were raising
Satan theirselves. But actually it turned out okay, right, I think,
so there's still time. I woke up this morning at
eight o'clock, very very late for me. Yeah, and I
said to myself this morning, I'm gonna take the family

(17:41):
at church. And then I went to the bathroom and
I said, man, fuck that shit, laid down, had me
some black ass coffee. Yeah, back to bed, I went, you, No,
I didn't go back to bed. What I do? I
went for a run. I did like a forty five
minute run walk with a dog, and then uh, we

(18:03):
went lunch Red Robin. I don't like it's it's ass now,
it's not very good.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
It's a black ass.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
Got me a chicken little chicken salad, and came home.
I did the research for the episode, and I took
me up really nice nap. Yeah you said, you took
a really good I'm gonna be up all night. Yeah,
I'm gonna be ready to do crime tonight.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
He slept hard.

Speaker 1 (18:26):
And so if there's anyone in the comments section on
YouTube that wants to go do crime tonight, some criming
hit me up. Man, let's go do crime tonight. Whatever
it is you can do it.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
Is there a cutoff like your limit you won't cross?
I think?

Speaker 1 (18:41):
I mean sometimes you just gotta seize the opportunity, you know,
carpe dim If someone needs killed, you kill them. Yeah.
If someone needs to be hitting the head with a brick,
well sure you know what to do.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
I got this backwards. This is confusing me. I have
my screens backwards and it's creating animosity in my brain.
Tonight we're gonna dive into the Pine Barns, a million
acre wilderness in South Jersey that's basically the creepiest place
you'll ever hear about. And man, the more and more
I read about the Pine Barons, there is the gift

(19:16):
that keeps on giving. There is a lot going on
in the Pine Barons. Lots are really cool stories, lots
of really cool folklore and at the home of the
Jersey Devil. Oh. I don't typically endorse other podcasts, but
the dudes at Astonishing Legends who do a fucking amazing
podcast did an episode on the Pine Barons many years ago.

(19:39):
That's an excellent, excellent episode. I remember listening to many
many years ago. And this isn't some like Disney Forest
with the with the new black snow white. Now this
is she really is black. I think a little.

Speaker 2 (19:56):
She fucked up that movie.

Speaker 1 (19:57):
I think she's Egyptian or something. She's I don't know,
but her attitude ruined it for sure. I don't know
much about her, but I know that.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
She Oh man, Yeah, she fucking she shit talked that
movie the entire time and panked it.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (20:17):
She was a kiss of death.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Yeah she was. Man, She's a fucking poisonous cut. She
was awful. I like all kinds of rices, Nascar rices,
boat rices, car rices. Now this is a This is
a forest of twisted pines, abandoned towns, and a river
that looks like they're hiding dead bodies.

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Oh shit.

Speaker 1 (20:39):
The Pine Barrens that span seven counties. It covers one
point one million acres and makes up twenty two percent
of New Jersey. The soil there is so bad that
nothing grows, so it just stays wild while the rest
of New Jersey get it got paved over like a
fucking guy. Fucking what. This place has been a hideout

(21:00):
for bootleggers, outlaws, weirdos, criminals, you name it since the
seventeen hundreds. It. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of
cool stuff and we're gonna discuss it all in this episode.
So I'm really excited to finally touch on this topic.
The locals there, they say that the land itself is cursed,
and after the stories we're going to be covering today,

(21:23):
you might believe it. We're talking about the Jersey Devil mob, murders, UFOs,
haunted ghost towns, and a pond that might be the
portal to Hell. Oh shit, as if we haven't already
discovered it. They're in a Chicago, Illinois. I think that
might be a real portal to Hell.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
It's pretty close to.

Speaker 1 (21:46):
Most of the land is uninhabited. You can go days
without seeing another person despite its complete isolation. The Pine
Barrens have hosted industrial ironworks, paper mills, glass factories, and
most of those were during the seventeen and eighteen hundreds.
It was a later they abandoned the area and the

(22:06):
warehouses due to poor soil and a lack of transport.
It's kind of way buried in there. And honestly, I
get the soil. You can't do you can't do anything there.
You can't build, you can't grow. It just kind of exists, man,
I know the the there's like an acidic level to
the soil or it just can almost eat you bury

(22:30):
your body and it can just eat it. It can
just oh shit. Yeah, it's like good to know. Well,
there's a reason why I said mob just a few
seconds ago.

Speaker 2 (22:39):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (22:42):
Left behind were ghost towns that were scattered all throughout
the Pine Bearings like Botstow Village and Own's Hat and
Owm's Hat is a really fun story. But the area
is inhabited by people called Pineyes, that's what the local
historians calm. And they're not very nice people. They're known

(23:06):
for being extremely self sufficient, y suspicious of outsiders. They're
oftentimes illiterate, and some say there's a lot of m
breeding going on. If you but ning ding ding ding
ding ding ding, love it make you squeal like a pig. Well,

(23:28):
my dreams just to be lost in a forest and
just be held captive by a bunch of four eyed
inbred people and be.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Kind of fun just fight your way out or funk
your way out, whichever one. Give them that good DNA.

Speaker 1 (23:47):
Want the list you can make come will let you go?
Wait a second, how's that, Adam? You gotta make us
all come?

Speaker 2 (23:56):
Well the way you go, I could get it done.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Did you see that video? I post our Facebook pages
and this goes out to all of our haters. Yeah. Yeah,
I've been staying mostly off TikTok for better part of
a year. Just the past couple of weeks, I've been

(24:21):
getting on like once a week or so. Dude, My
whole entire TikTok feed is people with down syndrome.

Speaker 2 (24:30):
Fucking being nuisances a dude, it's great man.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
One particularly bad one. Let's see. I think I could
probably play this. I know not everybody has Facebook, so
I can play this for you guys, so you can
hear this ship. Oh my hate listen this ship.

Speaker 5 (24:58):
Oh I got shit on, bitch, get pink eye, hello, bitch.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
I wonder how many haters this guy has? Is a
ratchet dude? Yeah, it's a.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
Wild fucking that's a wild one who's just out hating
on a downy man especially.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, he's got enough to haters. The fart on him and.

Speaker 1 (25:19):
The dude he's had videos that go up and get
taken down. He's like the one comments on this, I
won't fucking kill myself. And he's listening to creed and
drinking beer. Fucking enough people comment on this, I won't
fucking kill myself. Yeah, like oh me, now, oh chic

(25:39):
fee from you got that crank car background?

Speaker 2 (25:43):
Hell yeah, dude, that's cool as fuck.

Speaker 1 (25:44):
Get down all your bad self.

Speaker 2 (25:46):
Yeah, that's great.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
These pinies are often you literate and some inbread.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (25:51):
They would probably be first in line to be hired
here for this this operation we run here. Early twentieth
century eugenic studies targeted the pie allegedly trying to prove
that they were mentally deficient or criminally inclined. The eugenic
study was carried out to prove that not only were
the criminals, but it was ingrained into their DNA. No

(26:13):
matter what they did, they were going to be criminals.
So it was a an attempt to fucking like euthanize
all of them.

Speaker 2 (26:25):
They just gas lit the fuck out of them.

Speaker 1 (26:28):
The Calikak family study from nineteen twelve was a fake
ass pseudo scientific study meant to justify sterilizing under undesirables,
so they want to neuter them out there so they
couldn't keep reproducing. The Calikaks were supposedly a real Piney
family portrayed as hereditary criminals. Pineys leaned into the image,

(26:50):
playing it up to keep the people the hell away,
and that's kind of their shtick is when people do
make it into the pine barrens, there's these Pineys that
live there and they chase everybody off because they're all,
you know, fucking pinies, the fucking lumpy eyes and ship
got slab reports next to them. They don't even slabber,

(27:11):
rather their mouths. They just got a slab report. They
have a fucking drained valve, blowoff valve. They have a
whole next to their mouth that's just for slobber. They've
evolved so they can eat and slabber all at once.
That'd be pretty coolat uh. But the most infamous inhabitant

(27:32):
of the Pine Barrens is none other than the Jersey Devil,
which we've never done an episode on Wild Yeah, in
all the years, all the dumb we've done bathroom horror stories,
and we've never done the Jersey Devil or maybe we haven't.
We're just forgetting. I don't think we have. Maybe I

(27:52):
don't know. I think I looked it up earlier. I
couldn't find it. Okay, But for the Jersey Devil, he
is the Pine Baron's mascot, a winged, horse headed creature
with cloven hoofs and a scream that'll make you possibly
defecate your pants. Shout out to longtime listener of the show,

(28:15):
Jason Griffith. He sent me a snapchat earlier he shipped
his pants at home depot to day, Like, literally, dude,
there was fucking poop everywhere. It was chunky was runny.
This dude's ship all over himself. Man, I mean, God
love him. I don't know what he did. He he

(28:35):
actually sent me a snapchat while I was sleeping. It
was like, you know, ten different snaps, so it's probably him.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Was he like, was it in the bathroom or was
it in an aisle?

Speaker 1 (28:44):
I think he actually he told me that he was
at Chipotle and he was leaving Chipotle and he farted
and he ship all over himself. So then he had
to fucking dude crab walking to wherever he was going, Okay,
to clean himself because he ship there was so much

(29:07):
fucking poo. Dude needs to fucking do some kegels or something,
tightening up, fucking booty up. He sent me a picture
of it and I was like, I was like, what
do you do? I mean, you can't move, You're paralyzed
at this point. Those are my favorite gym shorts.

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Of course, it was.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
Yeah, man, he uh there's fucking poop everywhere.

Speaker 2 (29:40):
Oh man, poor guy, and he's just like he's a
Minis dude. He's fucking happy about it.

Speaker 1 (29:48):
I've been waiting on this for years.

Speaker 2 (29:51):
Man.

Speaker 1 (29:52):
Yeah. I asked him if he threw his underwear away here,
I'll just I'll open the snapchat. Yeah.

Speaker 5 (29:59):
Yeah, there was no trash Cannon's bathroom in Academy Sports.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
He did Academy Sports trash.

Speaker 5 (30:08):
In there to They have like blow dryers for your hands,
so the handicaps stall was occupied when I went in there,
and as soon as I took my pants down, I mean,
it just reaked a ship. So I got up and
there's no sink in there, so I'm trying to clean
this best I can have with no like sink. So
after he left, I like, mission imp possibled it out

(30:32):
because there was nobody in the bathroom, went to the
handcup saw so then I could have a mirror and
a sink to help try to clean this up. Thank
god I did that because I had a poop stain
on my thigh and son my leg and.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
Uh I didn't. I bought my underwear up.

Speaker 5 (30:50):
I call him panties to ball my panties up in
a ball and threw him in the corner like you know,
I feel like a cat would.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Well, there was a plunger in the corner, and.

Speaker 5 (30:59):
When I threw the them into the corner, they looped
around the plunger like it was a circus game and
ended up displaying my ship Hondies like it was a
fucking flag and it was just ship standing tall twelve o'clock.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
It was funny.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
I'm trying to tell Corny that.

Speaker 1 (31:15):
When I walked out, and I'm literally just rying out loud, crying, laughing.

Speaker 5 (31:20):
Because as soon as I'm like washing my hands and
walking out, there's a guy going into the stall where
there was just ship, like a murder scene, but instead
of blood and ship, it was.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Probably that's great.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
Game.

Speaker 1 (31:39):
He's never gonna fucking snapchat.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
That's funny.

Speaker 1 (31:44):
I love it. I love it when people ship their
pants on accident. There's nothing better than a good ship
your pants story. I'll high five anybody that just pooped
their pants don't care.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
Yeah, good job man, good game. I think I would cry.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Oh, Jason might be the Jersey Devil.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
He probably is.

Speaker 1 (32:04):
I don't think he's from there, but he might be
the Jersey Devil could be. He's got hooves and shit,
he's got weird feet. The history of the Jersey Devil
goes back to nineteen I'm sorry seventeen thirty five. In
Leeds Point, which is deep in the barrens, an old
horror by the name of Dan. She an old woman

(32:28):
by the name of Deborah, leads she was pregnant with
her thirteenth kid, fucking God, and she was upset about
it because she didn't want to have any more kids.
Thirteen of a very satanic number, and she did not
want to have her thirteenth kid. She actually cursed the
unborn child. She prayed and said, let it be a devil.

(32:51):
And when the baby then The story goes that when
the baby came out, it was born normal, but then
transform its sprouted wings, a goat like head, and it
flew up the chimney into the night and left forever.
Holy shit, have you ever seen a picture of the

(33:13):
Jersey Devil?

Speaker 2 (33:14):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (33:16):
Show you this real quick. Yeah. It looks like the
camel from the front of the pack of cigarettes.

Speaker 2 (33:23):
What the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 (33:25):
It's a Jersey Devil.

Speaker 2 (33:27):
Dude, That's not what I was picturing whatsoever.

Speaker 1 (33:29):
It's got a goat head with pterodactyl wings and backwards
stork legs.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
That's fucking crazy. I was expected something like a chup
of cabra or something. I was expecting like some sort
of like winged like rodent looking thing. That is horrific.
That's that's fucking scary.

Speaker 1 (33:45):
I don't like it.

Speaker 2 (33:46):
It looks just wrong.

Speaker 1 (33:49):
I want to kiss one. So off into the wilderness.
The Jersey Devil flew out of Deborah Leeds fucking disgusting
vagina to shreds after thirteen kids.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Oh do that poor thing.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
I bet this was the last one. The Jersey Devil
is the Pine Barons mascot. Oh, we already said that,
but since then, the Jersey Devil has been terrorizing the Barons.
It's blamed for killing livestock, leaving weird tracks, and scaring
the hell out of locals. The earliest reports comes from

(34:24):
the seventeen hundreds, with farmers finding dead animals ripped apart
in their property. In January of nineteen oh nine, shit
really hit the fan, though, during the Great Devil Panic
all across South Jersey reported sightings of the Jersey Devil
popped up hoof prints in the snow, shadowy figures with
wings and blood curling screams coming from the woods. These

(34:49):
the panic from this creature or whatever the people were
seeing was so intense that they were shutting down schools
and factories because of alleged sightings. They were so worried
that this, whatever the fuck it was was gonna catch
him and eat him, that they were shutting down schools,

(35:09):
shutting down factories, and there were posse's that were going
out hunting for whatever this was that was killing all
the livestock and terrorizing people. Papers printed sketches of the
clawed tracks that were seeing all over the Baron's area.
One guy in Bridgton claimed he shot at it but
he missed. That's not good. That's pretty cool that they're

(35:30):
like they're sending all these fucking people out to hunt.

Speaker 2 (35:33):
For this thing.

Speaker 1 (35:33):
Yeah, it's pretty cool find this thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (35:36):
We don't get to do fun shit like that anymore.

Speaker 1 (35:38):
If tomorrow this community was being terrorized by by cryptid, yeah,
I would drop everything, I quit my job, I'd leave
my family.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
Yeah, no doubt to go hunt.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
Yeah, we don't get to do cool shit like this anymore.
A wing creature, Yeah, dude, that'd be so much fun,
anti Christ type thing. Yeah, yeah, I want that to happen.

Speaker 2 (36:00):
I felt like it would be an honor to get
like fucking if you get killed by it while you're
fucking hunting it, that'd be.

Speaker 3 (36:06):
Cool as shita. It's dangerous, it's a cool way to
die killed. One of our best men. Took him down,
ripped his fucking head off. He was in the academy
sports bathroom.

Speaker 4 (36:18):
Changers underwear came up through the toilet, took it with him.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
A lot of modern sightings, though they keep popping up.
In nineteen sixty, a cop near May's Landing chased a
flying treature in his patrol car. Reports describe a group,
some saying it was police officers, other saying it was
local townsfolk with just police in the mix. Nonetheless, they
chased the creature to the edge of the woods. As
they closed in on it, it reportedly darted into the

(36:49):
woods and they stopped shortly thereafter, unwilling to follow further.
One account recalls that after the chase, the posse allegedly
halted and demand, if you're the devil, rattle your chains,
and at that point they could hear chains rattling from

(37:09):
inside the forest. Hell yeah, that's a little far fetched.
I don't believe that, but still really cool that there
was accounts of that passed down from other generations. In
twenty fifteen, This video I've seen before and it is unsettling,
to say the least. A golfer near Galloway snapped a
blurry photo of something winged in the sky and it

(37:32):
kind of sent the Twitter and Instagram, Facebook. There were
millions of comments all across the world on this post.
But there theories say it's a cryptid or possibly a
demonic entity or a demon or it's possibly just a
big headed bird like a sandhill crane. Okay, do you

(37:54):
have a picture of that of a sandhill crane? Well, no,
the fucking picture that we're talking about. I will see
sand hill green. Yeah, let me see the fucking bird,
not the cryptid Jersey devil picture.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
Oh okay, you guys.

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Speaker 2 (41:08):
S Boy, what the fuck? Yeah, that's pretty fucking interesting.
What the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 (41:20):
It looks exactly like the picture from three hundred years ago?

Speaker 2 (41:23):
Besides, I mean it looks like it has human feet,
but I mean the legs are.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
You gotta pay extra for that?

Speaker 2 (41:31):
That's true? It's got little t rex arms.

Speaker 1 (41:34):
That's cute, little t rex arms and a little fat
ass on it, dude. It's got fucking cheese cheesecake legs,
got cheesecake legs and a cheese steak ass. Oh fuck,
that's how I like them. Baby.

Speaker 2 (41:49):
Yeah, I know I told you about it, but I'll
tell you everybody else's story. We went to a concert
this past week, country concert, Country yea with my wife
and or something. No John parties. We went to see
She went to Tracy Lawrence yesterday, yes, two days ago,
I don't remember when it was.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
But she looked like she's got some gnarly ass sunburn.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
It's really bad.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
We might have to have her put down.

Speaker 2 (42:13):
It's really really bad. But like, we were talking to
this person that was in front of us, and I
don't remember what, oh we were talking about that she
was from West Virginia, has family in West Virginia. I said,
I was like, oh, those fucking people eat possum down there,
and she was like she started laughing, and she was like,
you know, you know about Mothman And I was like, fuckeah,

(42:34):
I know about moth Man. She was like, really you
know about Like she's like most people don't know about him.
I'm like, and a lot of people know about him,
and she was like, oh, my grandpa's the one that
welded the statue that's down that's down in the downtown
Point Pleasant. I'm like, no fucking way, and she's like, yeah,
he's the one that He was one of the builders
and he walled it together. I was like, why did
he make his ass so fucking thick? And she started

(42:56):
laughing so hard. I was like, do that thing is sick?
He's got a.

Speaker 1 (43:02):
Butt cheeks. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:04):
She thought that was so funny. That's cool, man, Yeah,
it was really cool. I was like, dude, that's that's
a sweet little fucking conversation piece there.

Speaker 1 (43:11):
When she said you know who Mothman is? You should
have said do you know who I am? Do you
know what I've done for the world. It's like I
got a shirt to say I sucked his dick. Man
he is. Theories say that the yeah that it's possibly
a cryptid, possibly a sand Hill crane, whatever it is,

(43:37):
the Jersey Devil. He's been haunting the Pine Barons for
over three hundred years, and it does not appear that
it's going to be stopping anytime soon. This is a
video I think it's about thirteen years old. Someone that
lives on the edge of pine barrens. Their backyard is

(43:58):
the Pine barrens, and they uploaded a video of a
noise that they heard coming from the woods. Here we go,
I gotta turn this up. MMMU brink up that doo
doo dial, turn it up? Turned fuck up? Bub there

(44:19):
you go?

Speaker 4 (44:28):
Where she?

Speaker 2 (44:32):
It's fucking loud.

Speaker 1 (44:33):
I don't know what that is.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
It sounds like a bird to me, But.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
Where she?

Speaker 1 (44:45):
Maybe some type of big cat box getting fucked in
the end. I don't h Yeah, I don't know. I've
never heard of a Jersey Devil screech before me neither,
but I can imagine it probably sounds pretty sim or that.
Maybe if I was staring in the woods and I
heard that sound, I would turn right the fuck around

(45:08):
and go back wherever I came from. I would not
keep on going in that direction. Yeah, that's scary.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
That sounds. Yeah, it sounds like a fucking some wild animal.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Play it again, playing.

Speaker 4 (45:36):
Where is she?

Speaker 1 (45:41):
I could obviously, probably more than likely something different than
the actual Jersey Devil, but still in that vicinity where
the the lightings are so prevalent, doesn't make me feel
great about going into the woods. Know what, don't expect
the Jersey devil to sound like, especially one of those
inbred Pineyes in there too, that's true.

Speaker 2 (46:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Sighting is often clustered around Barren's towns like Botsto and
Chatsworth are Leeds Point witnesses describe a creature six to
eight feet tall with bat like wings, glowing red eyes,
and a horse or goatthead. Looks more like a camel
head to me, if I do say so myself. Some
say it's got a kangaroo like tail or claws that

(46:27):
can shred metal. Reports from the nineteen oh nine panic
included a trolley car and camden that was attacked by
something that left scratches on the roof.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
Oh shit.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
A woman in Atlantic City swore she saw it perched
on her barn, hissing like a snake. I'm a snake.
Theories on what it is very wildly. Cryptozoologists think it's
an undiscovered species, or maybe a leftover terodactyl or a
mutated bat.

Speaker 2 (46:56):
There's just one fucking tarodactyl that.

Speaker 1 (46:58):
Lived, dud dude. Whenever those pterodactyls show up in Jurassic Park,
people are dying. Hen anytime the pterodactyls show up. Someone's dying, dude.

Speaker 2 (47:09):
I'd fucking i'd go crazy if I ever saw terodactyl
in real life. That's a fucking dragon. Dog is a
fucking dragon, man.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
I don't even know how what was I don't even
know how big pterodactyls were really big? Let's see, I.

Speaker 2 (47:26):
Felt they had to have been pretty big. Sighs ees.

Speaker 1 (47:33):
There's like a comparison to fucking humans. Wingspan of thirty
six feet, fuck up, holy shit, that's ignorant. That's have
a fucking football field, dude.

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Holy fuck, dude, thirty six feet? Oh shit, is that showing?
Is that showing a humans standing next to it? What
the fuck? Dude? We come up to its dick.

Speaker 1 (48:02):
That's a bird as big as a draft, tall as
a draft, Shut up, teiand actors will have dicks.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
Rather, dude. That's nuts.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
I think of the quatzil quatzelakotaalists could reach you reach
wingspans of thirty six feet or more. Oh my god, man,
that's a gnarly bird. Wow.

Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah, I wouldn't want to fuck with one of those, dude.
It literally just looks like a thirty foot tall stork.

Speaker 1 (48:34):
Yeah, it does as big as a draft man fifteen
foot it's got thirty foot wingspan. No, thank you, doctor.

Speaker 2 (48:41):
That is crazy.

Speaker 1 (48:43):
Paranormal folks say it's more. It's probably a demon tied
to the Leeds family curse. Some claim Deborah was a
witch who made a pact with saintan a byt our
thirteenth child coming out of a vagina that she didn't want.
Conspiracy nuts link it to the Native American legends the
lenpe Lenape avoided parts of the barons, calling them quote

(49:03):
places of the dragon. Others say is just misidentified wildlife,
an owl, a heron. Some of you even chalked it
up as a drunk local and a costume.

Speaker 2 (49:13):
That's pretty fucking cool. I strive to be that guy.

Speaker 1 (49:17):
Hey, you got a real good fucking idea to do
this weekend? Here, this is my idea.

Speaker 4 (49:22):
We can all jude up like bades and we're gonna
hang out the trees and the pine Bearns.

Speaker 2 (49:30):
Room has it. If you go at three o'clock at
night to the outside of the spitfire, you'll see some
crazy shit.

Speaker 4 (49:37):
Are we down the store? Can fighted with these bat
wings in this camera head. I think that's what I'm
gonna wear.

Speaker 1 (49:47):
There's also a weird government angle here. Some claim that
McGuire Air Force Base, which is right near the Pine Barons,
uses the Devil Store to cover up secret experiments thinking
like drones or bio bioengineered tritters. No hard evidence there either,
but the basis proximity does do a little bit towards
keeping those rumors alive.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
There are always this fishy stuff that goes around near
your bases.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Dude, we get weird stuff occasionally around here. You'll get
some pretty gnarrowly planes flying around.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Right.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
I am going to go relieve myself. I've reached a
point where I can't sit here any longer without pissing
on myself. You're good, buddy, So I'll be right back. Yeah,
after the message from our sponsors or maybe not. Could
I trouble you for some Okay, I got a Robert
some water.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, I'm good, and I pede. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:42):
You know.

Speaker 2 (50:43):
One thing I'm just thinking about. One thing that makes
my wife obnoxiously mad at me, and it's something I
can't even control, is how hard I like whenever I
drink something, how loud it is, like like what I
was like, Hey, this is I'm not churching this up.
This is this is what it sounds like Robert drinking water.
That's not that bad, I know, I don't think it

(51:05):
was either.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
This is how my little brother used to drink. This
is how my little brother still drinks water. Okay, it's embarrassing.

Speaker 2 (51:14):
Gulfs.

Speaker 1 (51:20):
Yeah, I thought that's why I was running in the
bathroom just now.

Speaker 2 (51:23):
Yeah. How long does it take you to poop the poop? Yeah,
so to actually poop or before I get out of
the bathroom, that's two different things.

Speaker 1 (51:32):
How long are you in the bathroom when you have
to poop?

Speaker 2 (51:34):
About fifteen minutes, twenty minutes maybe? How long does it
actually take me to poop? Two? Three minutes?

Speaker 1 (51:44):
The other day at work, I went to take a
dump and I was doing I was in and out
in like fucking twelve seconds without without my phone. Holy shit,
it didn't take my phone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've
been well, I don't. I don't think my wife poops. Dude,
she might, but I know she does. Yeah, but I've

(52:08):
set timers and she's in there the same amount of
time whether she's peeing or pooping. There's just there's no
in between, right and I'm talking seconds, dude. She's only
in there for seconds. And I know some other people
that are like that. When they they'll say I got
a shit, I gotta go take a shit. So I'm like, Okay,
I'm not gonna see you for twenty minutes, and they're

(52:29):
back in fifteen seconds.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
There's no fucking way. There's no way you're getting your
ass clean.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
No, And I honestly, I think, dude, my wife is
so fast. I think she like shits in her hand
in the hallway to the bathroom and just wipes when
she goes and just throws at the toilet and flushes
and walks out.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
Those in the cat litter box. It fucking chucks at
like fucking Jason's underwear.

Speaker 1 (52:55):
I think when she says like, oh, I'm going back,
she's already just like it's all he has. He's already
crowning and she just shifts her hand on the on
the journey to the bathroom. Yeah. So it's that simple.
You just drop it the just drop it and flush
it and you're gone.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Sometimes it takes me ten minutes just to wipe my
ass where I feel clean.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
This is so funny. Sometimes I'll go to the bathroom,
I'll wipe, and after the first wife, I'll be like,
I'm gonna I'm gonna be here for a long time.

Speaker 2 (53:26):
You can usually tell.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
And then I'll be like, god, damn it. Like I'll
be cussing stuff in the bathroom. Yeah, And I mean,
we don't have a big house, so if I'm cussing
in the toilet, people can hear me and they'll be
like you can there, and I'm just like, no, no,
I'm having problems. I'll use I'll go through a whole
sometimes it's bad. I'll go through and I'll go through

(53:48):
goddamn three quarters of a rolled toilet paper.

Speaker 2 (53:50):
Yeah. In one there's that. There's that really funny outtake
on Parks and Wreck where Chris Pratt's talking about he's
at the doctor and you know, they were like, he
has all these things wrong with him the doctor. The
doctor asked what's all wrong with him? And he says
something and he's like, sometimes when I go to the bathroom,
I keep wiping and there's still poop. There's more poop.

(54:11):
There's poop, there's poop. It's like I'm wiping a stinky marker.

Speaker 1 (54:17):
Been there, man, I know what you're talking about.

Speaker 2 (54:21):
And I'm like, every time I do that, I'm thinking
about it. I'm like, god, damn, that's so true. It
just feels like it's never ending, and you finally.

Speaker 1 (54:27):
Just give up. It's like when I'm fucking big, old
fat special needs crayons are stuck in your butt.

Speaker 2 (54:34):
And I've said this before, like do you think and
I think I've asked you the same exact question, but
I don't remember the answer. Do you think it's okay
to not wipe your ass if you're taking a shower
right after?

Speaker 1 (54:48):
Absolutely not okay. I I took that game on once,
did you? And when I went to clean my ass
in the shower, there was such a nauseating amount of
poop that made is like blood when you get blown,
like blood on water or water on blood. It just
there's just more blood and more blood.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
It's just more poop.

Speaker 1 (55:05):
So then I was cleaning poop out of my leg
hairs and stuff, and yeah, news.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
My kids we had to give tell my son's at
least my youngest two, we'd have to tell them that.
I mean, we had to explain to them that you
have to wash your ass, and they're like, what do
you mean I'm like, do you get to get some
soap on your fucking hands and you gotta swipe inside
your butt crack? And they were like, what's gross?

Speaker 1 (55:36):
What's gross is you not washing your ass.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
It's like, dude, you don't need to go in you
don't need to go in your hole. I mean, you
can't affetch your thing. But I mean, I think we
had an email the other day.

Speaker 1 (55:44):
I said, have you ever I know one of you
accidentally slipped a finger in your ass while when you're
cleaning it. I've never have uh, never my accident.

Speaker 2 (55:53):
I've never broke the seal.

Speaker 1 (55:54):
That makes sense. Yeah, you gotta clean your ass, crack man.
You gotta gotta, dude, you have to. Yeah. There's also
let's see the Pine Barons. Let's talk about their link
to the mob. The Pine Barons isn't just a spooky place.
It's a little we'll call it deadly. Its isolation makes
it a perfect dumping ground for bodies, especially for the

(56:16):
Philly and Atlantic City mob. Back in the nineteen seventies
the nineteen eighties, the Bruno crime family ran South Jersey,
and the Barons was their go to spot for taking
a trash. One case from nineteen eighty one Sticks Out
Or a body found near Warden State Forest, half buried
in sand with a single bullet hole in the skull.

(56:40):
Cops tied it to the Bruno the Bruno family hit
over a drug deal gone bad. The victim's ID was burned,
but dental records confirmed that he was a low level
drug dealer. Another grim fine that happened in nineteen eighty
nine near Chatsworth, a shallow grave with two bodies. Both
of them had their yeah, both had their hands tied

(57:00):
behind their back and their throats slit. Police linked it
to a mob turf war, but no arrests were made
because you know, when no one ever goes down. It's
just the way the mob works. The barrens, sandy soil,
and dense pines making it easy to hide corpses, and
locals say there are dozens more out there undiscovered.

Speaker 2 (57:19):
Do you ever think about, like, do you really think
especially when this time, like when the mob was really prevalent,
not saying that they're not now, I mean, I don't
really know.

Speaker 1 (57:29):
I'm sure they are still.

Speaker 2 (57:31):
They are, but you know, it's still a lot under wraps.
But do you think, like obviously they had the police
in their pocket and everything. But I mean they still
do and they still do yet. But do you think
a lot of it was more so that or a
lot of like along the lines of law enforcement's like
you know what, it's criminals taking out of their criminals.
You know, it's it's it kind of washes.

Speaker 1 (57:51):
I just think it was a matter of who the
you know, the police commissioner or the police police chief,
whoever it was the time. There's a there's a lot
that goes on behind the scenes, because even if it.

Speaker 2 (58:06):
Just seems like it's the trash taking out the trash, right.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
You know what I mean pretty much, yeah, but altimately
at the end of the day.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
But it is somebody getting You can't have people.

Speaker 1 (58:15):
Getting killed on on their watch. There's a lot of
backdoor deals with the mob and the pol the unions
and the politics and.

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Let me schools like anything else. Like you know, the
the criminals if they're if they're the ones given all
the money to whatever form of power that they are,
you know, they've got a kind of or above the
wall at that point.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
Yep. There's another incident and the nineteen nineties were a
hunter stumbled on a random skull and you're one of
the lakes there in Pine Bearings. Police couldn't idea. But
at one point one million acres, I would imagine not
only are there quite a few bodies that have been
disposed of, but there's even more bodies that have went

(58:59):
into the Pine Bears for camping, for whatever it was,
and just never found their way out. Oh yeah, So
I would say the Pine Barons, if you went there
with the intent of finding a dead body with a
cadaver do dog or something like that, it wouldn't take
you long to find one. Sure, that's I could be

(59:20):
wrong about that, but that's honestly what I think would happen.
And it's not just bodies. Fugitives love the Pine Barons too.
In twenty fourteen, Eric Frayne, a guy who shot two
Pennsylvania State troopers, hidden the Pine Barons for weeks. He
built camps, stashed supplies, and evaded swat teams until they
nabbed him near an abandoned airstrip. The Baron's size and

(59:43):
cover making a black hole for crime. Cops hate searching it,
and mobsters know it. Richard the Iceman Kaklinsky, a hitman
tied to the Gambino crime family admitted to police and
FBI that he used to dump bodies in the Pine
bar Baron's rather frequently, and there's not only a tie

(01:00:05):
to the mob, but there's a tie to the UFOs
as well. The Pine Barrens is a UFO hot spot.
In nineteen seventy five, campers near Atchen Lake saw glowing
orbs floating above the trees, silent, pulsing red and white,
then gone in a blink. They reported to the local cops,

(01:00:26):
who brushed it off a swamp gas. One of the
one of our most favorite guests ever, the senior scientists
from Right Patterson Air Force based Raymond Shamansky. He has
a really good book called swamp Gas, My Ass The
Details Fuck. It details much of the events surrounding the

(01:00:49):
UFOs that they said was in fact swamp gas. I
am a victim of swamp ass, which is a little
different than swamp gas.

Speaker 2 (01:01:03):
Yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Swamp ass is in the summertime, you get creamy ass
from you get creamy ass for being really hot, and
your your butt cheets get sticky from sweat, and it
creates swamp ass.

Speaker 2 (01:01:25):
Creamy ass just sounds so fucking ransoid.

Speaker 1 (01:01:29):
If you've ever had creamy ass, send us an email
Brohio podcast at gmail.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
Dot com asstag creamy ass.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
You ever had creamy ass?

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Think?

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
So you ever have swamp ass?

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
Yeah, you tell everybody. It's usually I don't normally, I
don't normally say it, but anytime I'm around another guy
who's like, god damn, I got swamp ass, it always
makes me laugh because I just I don't know why
it is.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Funny telling somebody your fucking ass crack is sweaty. It's
one of those things like we all have in common,
but we don't really ever say.

Speaker 1 (01:02:04):
I get the undertit sweat dude, That's what I get.
I call it gets crescent moons on my shirt, that's
one got the I'm starting to get like milk tits man,
not dude. I like some hangars, fucking real milky memories. Yeah,
I'd love to be milked. Would be my favorite thing.

Speaker 4 (01:02:23):
Ever.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
So the they reported the UFO the local cops, they
brushed it off as swamp gas. In nineteen ninety four,
a hunter near Hamilton swore he saw a triangular craft
fifty feet wide hovering over a clearing. It was black
and silent with blue lights at the corners. He said.
Military choppers showed up minutes later, circling like they were

(01:02:46):
chasing something. Oh, it's proximity Maguire Air Force Base kind
of makes it. People believe that it could be some
experimental aircraft coming from the Air Force or the US military.
Others think the Barons hide an underground UFO base with
tunnels linking to Area fifty one. I don't know how

(01:03:06):
true or presumptuous this is of them, but I don't
necessarily think that's the truth. Then that gets us to
the point of the drone pandemic in New Jersey from
just a few months ago. I did a lot of
digging on the drones for this episode, just to see, Hey,

(01:03:26):
where'd they go? What happened? So it seems that the
US government passively said, yeah, I don't worry about them drones. Yeah,
don't worry about them. What are they don't worry about it?
Fucking worry about it. That seems like where we're at

(01:03:48):
with the drones. There was a rumor going around and
a shipment container with a trace amount of radioactive material
used for medical calibration purposes was reportedly missing in New
Jersey and of twenty twenty four that would have coincided
with whenever these drones started popping up this material. Material
was allegedly subsequently recovered and did not pose a significant

(01:04:11):
threat to the local population. Then, while I was digging
on Reddit, I saw a lot of Reddit questions what
happened to the drones? They just disappeared? And I took
notice that on all of these posts there were people
in there, just like these responses are all very body like.

(01:04:34):
They were bots responding to the question responding to the
questions about the drones, which tells you there's kind of
something nefarious working in the background to try and dissway
people from thinking that the drones are whatever we think
they are, and trying to get us to just kind
of stop thinking about them and accept it as a

(01:04:56):
What were the responses I didn't read a just that
the government responded, it's nothing. The government responded, it's nothing.
The government responded. And while it's these drones are there,
There are literally thousands of videos of people taking video

(01:05:16):
of these drones. But they're still there, they're still operating.
The media is just not reporting, is what I'm saying. Yeah,
there's still pretty active topic on x where you can
look it up and people are still seeing immense amount
of drone sightings in New Jersey. It's just not getting

(01:05:37):
reported by the media who knows what it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
Is forget about one thing and then onto the next.

Speaker 1 (01:05:44):
The pine barrens also littered with ghost towns, abandoned villages
swallowed by forests. These were once bustling spots for ironworks,
glass factories, or bootlegging, but now they're crumbling and creepy.
Botstow Village is a big one, a preserved eighteenth century
ironworks town with a mansion that's believed to be as
haunted as hell. Visitors report a woman in white wandering

(01:06:08):
the ground, sometimes screaming at midnight. Park rangers say lights
flicker inside the empty home and empty buildings even though
there hasn't been electrical service there in decades, and footsteps
echo in the old forge. Harrisville, another ghost town, was
a paper mill in the eighteen hundreds. Now it is
just ruins, broken walls covered in moss. While the locals

(01:06:32):
there they do explore the area they've claimed to herd
whispers or see shadowy figures at dusk. A nineteen nineties
hiker claimed he saw a man in old timey clothes
vanished near the Mills Foundation. Then there's action a former
bog iron site. Its church there is said to be
haunted by a crying child, and campers hear footsteps circling

(01:06:55):
their tents at night. Oh God, that's fucking scary. Thanks.
My favorite part about all of these really is that
I think it's Oong's Hat or Own's Hat o n
g Hat. That's the name of a little ghost town
and pine barrens, And it really makes the haunted mansion

(01:07:15):
and the haunted other places kind of look like the
fucking Mickey Mouse. Dude. This speck of area off of
Route seventy is just crumbling shacks and sand, and it's
said to be home to a secret commune in the
nineteen seventies called the Moorish Science Ashram, a crew of
rogue scientists, a cult, freaks and hippies led by a

(01:07:39):
shadowy figure, a guru by the name of Wally Faird.
And here is the insane version of all of this.
A rogue group of Princeton scientists, exiles from Academia toposably
fled into the pine barrens and started a breakaway science cult.

(01:08:00):
They called themselves the Institute for Chaos Studies. Their goal, well,
their goal was to build a device called the Egg,
a portable consciousness powered dimensional gateway. I said that, right,
a fucking egg that sends people to other universes. You

(01:08:20):
gotta eat the egg or what happens, you gotta put
it in your button hatchet like a rooster. I don't
know who sits on the egg. Is that the chicken
or the rooster. I think it's a chicken, think it's
a chi Roosters are bastards. I want to fucking kill
a rooster.

Speaker 2 (01:08:39):
Gobbler.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
Yeah, choke it. Chickens are awesome, though, dude. Their eggs
are like nature's protein. Barr their breasts God, we doesn't
love choking and chicks as wonderful as women's breasts are,
chickens breasts are. They're right up there, man, a nicely
prepared the chicken.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
Breast is delightful.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
It is delightful. Although that thigh and wing meat, man,
it's dark meat on a chickens. It's really good, really good,
especially if you kind of mixed the two together. Can't
get that flavor. And oh yeah, these scientists claim that
they perfected a method of quantum travel, not with spaceships,

(01:09:22):
but with consciousness. They'd set inside the Egg, meditate, and
their bodies would vanish from this timeline, reappearing in a
parallel Earth where humanity never screwed everything up, and they
called it Prime or Earth Prime. According to the Incunabibulah
papers and Joseph Metheni's lore, after the Gate aka the

(01:09:44):
Egg successfully teleported a volunteer in the late nineteen eighties,
word leaked to the local government agencies. Reports claimed that
Delta Force or secret military operations radied the Astrom compound,
allegedly killing seven members several I'm sorry, seven members of
the Institute for Chaos Studies, though details are a little

(01:10:07):
murky whether it was US or even foreign Russian Danish forces.
Mathene's retelling describes how after the military hit the cult,
the survivors used the gate to flee to another dimension,
leaving behind burnout trailers and weird emissions detected via instrumentation.

Speaker 2 (01:10:26):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (01:10:27):
They supposedly reappeared in a parallel or in a universe
populated nothing but pine forests and a rabid alternate universe
of some type hikers near the old compound report, sudden disorientation,
compass needles spinning unpredictably, electronic devices malfunctioning, lost hours, lost time.

(01:10:49):
Some swear they walked three miles only to find out
that they had not moved at all. They were still
in the same very footstep where they were when they
thought they first started traveling. They also hear claim to
hear random music, music that almost seems like it's never
like music they've never heard before from almost like it's
from another dimension. Drums, flutes, chant like sounds with no

(01:11:10):
visible source. In said that's somewhere buried in the forest,
is still this egg, this vessel that these chaos scholars
use to travel interdimensionally to get from one plane to another. Interesting,

(01:11:31):
very interesting. Interesting. Then there's the blue Hole. Oh yeah,
I'm very well. I'm very well researched in the brown hole,
but I did not have any details about the blue Hole.
And that's why I would like to give you guys
some information about the blue Hole. Okay, feel accepted, please do.

(01:11:54):
The blue Hole is one of the Pine barrens strangest spots,
the perfectly round cold pond near Winslow that stays bright
blue even in droughts. It's about one hundred and thirty
feet across, and locals call it bottomless. Divers say it's
the only it's only forty feet deep, but the water
is so clear and cold it feels unnatural. Stories say

(01:12:18):
it's a Jersey Devil hangout or potentially even a portal
to hell. Swimmers report feeling pulled down by something unseen,
and in the nineteen eighties, a stranger claimed he was
grabbed by a slimy hand while waving and dude, I
would give a lot of money to have a slimy hand. Due.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
Can you imagine your fucking NHJ from a slimy hand?

Speaker 1 (01:12:42):
Dog?

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
Dude, that feels good.

Speaker 1 (01:12:44):
Extra for that. Yeah, man, you have a slimy hand,
send us email, then me an email in Alexander fucking
Personal ninet three seven, Yeah, call me, oh me, dude,

(01:13:12):
I bet your pirates had stinky balls and pirates. I'm
playing Black Flag right now, Yeah, Assassin's creed Black Flag
right And I was thinking that last night when I
was playing. I'm just like, dude, I bet pirates fucking stunk. Dude.

Speaker 2 (01:13:27):
Yeah, I think so too. They seem like they smelled
really fucking bad. Them and like like Victorian era people,
I feel like they smelled really fucking bad.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
Oh you just like back then you didn't have deodoran her. Yeah,
I don't even know when people start wiping their asses.

Speaker 2 (01:13:45):
That's true. Let's look that up. When do people start
wiping their asses? Google has to have an answer for that.
What year did humans start wiping their ass?

Speaker 1 (01:13:57):
How did people why they're butts in seventeen hundreds.

Speaker 2 (01:14:06):
With their hands? Google's gonna say.

Speaker 1 (01:14:10):
They wiped each other's butts? All he fucking clogged up
Google Asking her this question.

Speaker 2 (01:14:18):
Clogged up the pipes of Google.

Speaker 1 (01:14:20):
Uh shit, when did?

Speaker 2 (01:14:23):
When did humans start wiping their ass?

Speaker 1 (01:14:31):
I think my Internet's messed up? But in.

Speaker 2 (01:14:41):
Oh my God, it's mine. Mine says humans have been
wiping their bums for a very long time, likely since
the early stages of human development, though the exact timing
is difficult to pinpoint. While physical evidence of hygiene practices
is limited in the archaeologial, archaeol logical record, it is
reasonable to assume that early humans, even before the Stone Age,

(01:15:04):
would have found ways of that clean themselves after defecation
for comfort and hygiene.

Speaker 1 (01:15:09):
Uh. Here are some common methods from the seventeen hundreds.
Dried corn cobs were a popular choice in early America
through their abundance of softness when dried leaves, grass and
straw moss, the shells and coconut husks. Dude, I ain't
ever wiping my ass with a fucking coconut husk. Dog.

(01:15:32):
That string there and I see my gas coming. No shit, god, snow.
Oh man, wipe your ass with a handful of snow.

Speaker 2 (01:15:43):
I thought that'd be refreshing. No what cole as fuck
it make your little pooper tight?

Speaker 1 (01:15:48):
What do you doing? You're yeah, a slam shut dog.
One out the Jersey devil wipes his butt.

Speaker 2 (01:16:00):
H This question said, why did humans evolve to have
to wipe? We had self cleaning asses.

Speaker 1 (01:16:11):
You ever used a bidet?

Speaker 2 (01:16:13):
I haven't, but I want to really bad.

Speaker 1 (01:16:14):
I've heard so many awesome things about a beday.

Speaker 2 (01:16:17):
I haven't heard a single bad thing about a beday.
It's like a power washer for your asshole.

Speaker 1 (01:16:22):
Man, and you climax every time you use it. Oh
oh yeah, just making sure can you still see us? Okay,
we have pause there for a second, fix our YouTube
and see how many people wipe their butts sticks. Some

(01:16:44):
people just don't wipe their butts.

Speaker 2 (01:16:46):
I believe they're probably these people.

Speaker 1 (01:16:47):
And like the dude, I know that some of them
people that ride the Walmart scooters don't wipe their ass
for sure. There's no there's just no physical way for
them to do it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:55):
Yeah, that's that's a good it's a good train of thought. Man,
Like you can get so big to where you can't
wipe your ass anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:17:02):
I'm there, I'm pretty close.

Speaker 2 (01:17:03):
And some of them females got them really long nails.

Speaker 1 (01:17:07):
Well, I got stumpy arms to.

Speaker 2 (01:17:10):
I always wonder with them long nails, how they don't
get poop in them.

Speaker 1 (01:17:14):
I asked that question. They I just don't think women
have messy poops like us. Yeah, I mean I think
some of them do. I think it all depends on
what you eat on. Got to Yeah, another cool story.
Deep in the pines, just off the White Horse Pike,
there's a cracked stretch of pavement locals say is haunted

(01:17:34):
by a spirit of a young boy. According to legend,
the kid was out playing basketball and Christmas night when
the ball rolled into the road. He chased it right
into the path of a drunk driver. His body was
found there the car and the driver were never seen again.
That's sad.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
That is sad.

Speaker 1 (01:17:52):
That guy never got to finish his beard. That poor
guy just trying to have a Christmas beer. A fucking
kid got in the way.

Speaker 2 (01:18:08):
Fucking ruined his evening, ruin his fucking buzz i.

Speaker 1 (01:18:12):
Guess it didn't They didn't find him those Uh, yeah,
that's all right. Since then, Oh where the bat bumps
over here?

Speaker 2 (01:18:30):
He's always more of a football guy.

Speaker 1 (01:18:34):
Since then, people swear his ghost return to the spot
where he died. The ritual goes like this, You can
still go there to this day. Drive your car to
the dead end of Burnt Mill Road, flash your headlights
three times, hank three times, then sit in complete silence.
If he shows up, you'll see a small boy, sometimes
just a shadow, sometimes fully formed, slowly dribbling a basketball

(01:18:58):
out of the woods, making a bush light. Some call
it urban legend, others say it's a reflective post trick,
tricking your eyes. But local teens have reported seeing him
for decades, often with such consistency the police actually used,
uh they have to patrol the road on Halloween to
keep ghost hunters from clogging it up. When I make

(01:19:27):
that noise my kids get Like, if it's dark in
the house, I make that noise, my kids get scared.
Do they freak out?

Speaker 2 (01:19:31):
Yeah, mak of that noise. We don't look it is
cry baby bridgetol around.

Speaker 1 (01:19:39):
Yeah it is. It's an uh eton, I believe, Okay,
And then they got that uh the Oxford Road or whatever.
I've been there quite a few times.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
We need to fucking go to these places and like
do like a live stream from them.

Speaker 1 (01:19:51):
Well here's my thought, and you know, we probably still
could do this. I thought about doing a Ohio paranormal
tour around Halloween time where us and you know, a
dozen listeners maybe ran a party bus and then go

(01:20:16):
to these haunted locations. What we gotta do is we
got to get a party bus driver that's on board
with the sketchy as just parking and blacking his lights
out and flashing his headlights. You know. So that would
be a little difficult, but I think, you know, money talks,
if you want to pay the money, and I think

(01:20:38):
it'd be that'd be fun, just a night of be
on the party bus and boozing and chasing these ghosts
with listeners.

Speaker 2 (01:20:48):
They get to hang with us. That'd be fun, it
would do that. That's a really cool idea.

Speaker 1 (01:20:54):
Yeah, mh, I just need a party bus now sounds
like an investment. Yeah, and we got time to plan
it too, Yeah, we have plenty. The last story coming
from the Pine Barrens is the Pig Lady. Yeah, dude,
I'm not talking about your fucking mom.

Speaker 2 (01:21:10):
I'm talking.

Speaker 1 (01:21:15):
Talking about my mom. Whispers about the pig Lady. Road
is a long, lonely, long stretch of asphalt said to
be haunted by a half woman, half pig abomination. Plenty
of those got dated her in high school. The local
lord claims it. As a baby, the woman was born disfigured.

(01:21:36):
She was so fucking ugly her dad slapped a pig's
head on her to hide.

Speaker 2 (01:21:42):
It and shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 (01:21:44):
Dude, that's real, will fucking dude, you gotta be ugly
as fuck here, wear a big head.

Speaker 2 (01:21:55):
Pig head on you. Jesus, dude.

Speaker 1 (01:21:59):
That is not unconditional love, right there? Really not. That's
an ugly ass kid, dude, go fuck um. After her
mother died, well, the pig Lady grew up and she
asked her dad to death and revenge.

Speaker 2 (01:22:17):
Oh geez.

Speaker 1 (01:22:19):
Some versions say she lived on royce Field Road aka
pig Lady Road and Hillsboro Township, and her ghost now
roams at night wielding that same axe. It's said late
at night, if you chant pig Lady three times under
full moonlight, legend says she'll emerge grunting, dragging her axe

(01:22:41):
and chasing terrified drivers whispers about pig Lady Road. I'm sorry,
I just double copy and pasted. That's okay, but nonetheless,
pig Lady, pig Lady, pig Lady. Fuck nothing, damn well,

(01:23:01):
I must not be close enough, dude. You want to know.
Another way to scare my kids is they'll be in
the bathroom brushing their hair or something or like in there.
I don't know whatever the girls do in the bathroom.
Bloody marry insides fucking go to the bathroom, because that
would be weird. I'll go in there and I'll close
the door and tury of light and I'll be like,
bloody Mary, bloody Mary. And one of them broke the

(01:23:27):
fucking bathroom door.

Speaker 2 (01:23:28):
It was my.

Speaker 1 (01:23:29):
Fault, but Sophie broke the bathroom door because I was like,
I marry bloody Mary, and she was like, I'm fucking
doing this, dude. She broke the bottom of the door.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:23:42):
And uh She's like, I was like, you broke the door,
and she's like, I don't care. What a pussy man,
damn man, scaredy cat. Yeah, she's a King's Island. Today
we got her a season pass. M She would never

(01:24:03):
ride all the rides with us, but today she rode
everything and she's been texting me and she's.

Speaker 2 (01:24:09):
Like, Dad, it's fun, man, it is fun.

Speaker 1 (01:24:13):
Diving back and O'Ryan, those are awesome roller coats. Yeah,
so much fun. Yeah, diving back is really similar to
Millennium Force, which that's Millium Force is like my fucking
favorite run.

Speaker 2 (01:24:25):
It's so fucking good. It's so good.

Speaker 1 (01:24:27):
Wheer it's still around. Yeah, to your point, Yeah, I
need to go up there and check it out. Yeah,
with it being so close, I'm really contemplating a Baseball
Hall of Fame trip drive there by myself and go
to the lot about doing it this week, but a

(01:24:50):
really long drive and there's no airports close the Baseball
Hall of Fame. Can't You can't just like fly in
and then fly out. You can't do it. Kind of suck.
She gotta fly in, rent a car, drive for three
hours and then yeah that sucks. Or I can just
just drive drive. Yeah it's like twelve hours.

Speaker 2 (01:25:10):
No, fuck, it's that far fucking long drive.

Speaker 1 (01:25:12):
Yeah it's really far, really far, ten twelve hours something
like that. Damn.

Speaker 2 (01:25:18):
That'd be cool to see, though, I know.

Speaker 1 (01:25:21):
And I just love baseball.

Speaker 2 (01:25:22):
Yeah, I know you do.

Speaker 1 (01:25:23):
The Reds swept the Diamondbacks today, which makes me feel good. Okay,
well that concludes our episode of the Pine Barrens. A
lot of nefarious activity going on out there in those woods.

Speaker 2 (01:25:40):
Sounds like a fun place.

Speaker 1 (01:25:41):
I love to party out there. Yeah, I'd love to
do Heroin in the woods.

Speaker 2 (01:25:45):
And dude, fuck you fucking shit, stick an egg in
your ass, uncle.

Speaker 1 (01:25:49):
Cracker, my ass. Take me way. Hey, I got a
Creed concert coming up soon. I got uh, not much
else going on.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
Hey, you got that to look forward to?

Speaker 1 (01:26:05):
Lonely miserable life and I'm seeing Creed for the first time.

Speaker 2 (01:26:07):
Yeah, it's gonna be dope.

Speaker 4 (01:26:10):
And dreamer charm time time.

Speaker 1 (01:26:20):
They get copyrighted.

Speaker 2 (01:26:21):
There you go. Man, you sound too much like him.

Speaker 1 (01:26:23):
Really sad about the dude from three doors down. He's
got like in stage cancer.

Speaker 2 (01:26:26):
Man, yeah, I saw that.

Speaker 1 (01:26:29):
Oh god, you know, you may not think much of
three doors down, but give those dudes their roses. They've
created some hits over the years. Sure, not necessarily, maybe
not your style. Fucking three doors down and six feet
from the edge, dog right, oh me now, and needs
to get some ivermectin or whatever it is that healed

(01:26:52):
fucking whatever. Blue methlen that's the that's the new one
now is blue methlen.

Speaker 2 (01:26:59):
Fucks that.

Speaker 1 (01:27:00):
I got this stuff. It's a post workout. It's called
Jim Jym and it says on the Google reviews and stuff.
It says, whatever you do, sip it, don't drink it
fast and I can. It says drink this over thirty
to forty five minutes. And the other day I got

(01:27:20):
done at the gym. I drank it. I just chugged
in the parking lot.

Speaker 2 (01:27:24):
Boy did exactly what sudden not to do? This was
last night, Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:27:28):
This was last night. And my wife's like she's playing
with me and stuff, like you know, fucking try and
tickle my knee and she's like, where are you tickle shit?
I was like, I'm not ticking. I gotta go shit,
And I go running.

Speaker 2 (01:27:41):
So that's why they say, don't.

Speaker 1 (01:27:43):
Oh my god, it's a.

Speaker 2 (01:27:44):
Disastrous Oh mercy.

Speaker 1 (01:27:46):
I thought I was sick. I thought I was terminally ill.

Speaker 2 (01:27:51):
Man just fucked your stomach up.

Speaker 1 (01:27:53):
Oh yeah, dude, just horrific, painful diarrhea. I wonder what
it was almost like a It was almost like a
comic book. It was that bad. I wonder what, Like,
there's so much stuff, and there's bcas, there's creatine, there's
a glutamine. There's so much stuff in it, but apparently
it's meant to be consumed over a lengthy period of time.

Speaker 2 (01:28:17):
Okay, such a slow Ye, it's a slow release.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
It was not slow at all, but because ship was grease,
lightning all yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:28:28):
Time activity, it really helps with shipping.

Speaker 1 (01:28:33):
Looking And the best part about it was, oh my gods,
maybe laugh so hard. So I drank it fast. I
pooped and I was like, my god. So I got
on Amazon and I was reading the reviews for it
again and this guy coming. He gave it one star
and he's like, on unreal, drink it and it just

(01:28:57):
I just gave away all the gains. I just got diarrhea.
So he.

Speaker 2 (01:29:07):
Fucking purged himself. He exercises demons.

Speaker 1 (01:29:12):
He ships so bad that he thinks he like he
lost muscle man way muscle mats. I was just like, man,
I want you got a.

Speaker 2 (01:29:20):
Ship like shot out three days worth the protein.

Speaker 1 (01:29:23):
Drop a bicep and adult.

Speaker 2 (01:29:28):
Comes out with the SpongeBob biceps.

Speaker 1 (01:29:30):
It comes out fighting.

Speaker 2 (01:29:31):
Dude fucking goes down as a dip. Oh that sucks man,
fucking ship out of glute. Poor guy.

Speaker 1 (01:29:44):
You go into the You go into the bathroom looking
like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Come out looking like hey, Arnold.

Speaker 6 (01:29:53):
Mother football's did Old my gains?

Speaker 1 (01:30:02):
Fucking chill out, motherfucker.

Speaker 2 (01:30:05):
That's great man, Sorry to be that guy. I want
to talk to him.

Speaker 1 (01:30:08):
Dude, I don't know how bad that was. I think
he forfeited his body. Man.

Speaker 2 (01:30:15):
He posted before and after it he's fucking yoked and
then he's he looks like screech.

Speaker 1 (01:30:20):
Look at a flated raisin. In the next one, all
from poop. We talked about poop a lot this episode.
I'm sorry this is gonna cass some bad reviews.

Speaker 2 (01:30:32):
Very episode.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
All right, guys, thanks for tuning into this episode an
hour and a half. Look at that tremendous love it
love it so appreciate you guys. Have a good weekend,
good week, good week.

Speaker 2 (01:30:43):
Yeah yeah, I love you. I want to see your

(01:31:06):
dast take

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