The Hat Man

They say he appears in the corner of your room—tall, silent, wearing a wide-brimmed hat. Some say he’s a shadow, others swear he’s a demon. Tonight, we’re diving into the terrifying phenomenon known as The Hat Man. From chilling firsthand accounts to theories linking him to sleep paralysis, interdimensional visitors, and pure evil itself, this one will keep you checking the dark corners before bed.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:18):
I am not the hat man, and I am not
the fat man, and I'm not Batman, and I'm not
a catman, but I'm a titty man. Yeah, there we go.
Let me finish my thought. Okay, Welcome into the Brohio Podcast. Everybody.
I'm one half of your favorite podcast. Even though you
didn't say it, say it, I said it. I'm a

(00:39):
delicious nic delicious and I'm rob Dog. It's my birthday
week and I'm ready to fucking have a good times.
Remember your birthday? Yes, what day is your birthday? Friday?
What kind of party animal has a birthday on Friday?

Speaker 2 (00:51):
Isn't that crazy? It's like it's it's like it was
meant to be. And you know what, next year now
i'm thinking about it, he'll be forty. Next year is
my fortieth and it's on a Saturday. Fucking cool?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Is that? Dude? It's gonna be dangerous. You better start
training your liver. Now I'm gonna be dead. I'm gonna die.

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Here's my last fucking year in my thirties. Let's fucking
have a good time.

Speaker 1 (01:12):
We are so happy to have you guys all here
with us this evening. As we start to explore the unknown.
And when I say the unknown, I mean we're gonna
be talking about the hend And if you're waiting for
your Patreon shout out, we'll get that next week because
I forgot to pull them all over so good we'll
we'll get all those next week. And then if we

(01:34):
wait a week, then it sounds like we get more
than we actually have, and it makes us feel really
good about ourselves. It always does. Yeah, we got so
I did the research on an episode about a lady
from Texas that spent her entire life under an identity
and nobody knew who she was, Okay, and then I

(01:55):
got it all done, and I just kept sitting there
and just thinking about how much I didn't like it
and how we just did an episode last week about
a woman from Texas. And then I come I stumbled
across the hat man and I said, you know what,
this is kind of scary.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I remember like whenever I was like back before this format,
whenever we would like do our own independent research, I
remember I would always come across these really cool topics
that there wasn't enough meat to cover a whole episode.
I think it'd be cool to have like a like
some mini episodes on.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
One like topics.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
There's small things where we can just fucking you know,
blah blah blah blah blah, Like I'm here for it.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
There's not enough fucking meat we can we can throw
it on here. Do you want to do it next week?
Maybe we'll call it the Halloween. We'll call it Halloween,
the Halloween hallo peen, Halloween bout cocky? How's that sound?
That's fun? It was just talking like you come, you
come with thirty minutes of Halloween stuff. I'll come with
thirty minutes of Halloween stuff and then we'll do a

(02:55):
Halloween boot cocky.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
Just scary shit, just scary ass shit. Hell yeah, because
I mean a lot of those stories are like that, right.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah, man, I think I'd be cool even if I
had if I had a sheet floating through my house
and it was like oo, I'd be dying, dude, I'd
be fucking cracked. I'd be that's that's sold for next week,
all right. I saw this newspaper article and I thought
to myself self, you are a victim here, and you

(03:26):
stand and make a lot of money because this is
a class action lawsuit. Oh yeah, Customers sue sneaker company
on which they make the on Cloud shoes over shoes
that costs noisy and embarrassing squeak. Do that I feel
for this?

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Anytime I have shoes that start squeaking, I get really
self conscious and I think everybody's watching me.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Well, you customers of the Athletic Shoe Company on have
filled a class action lawsuit a legend that some of
the brand sneakers squeak embarrassingly loud when they walk. The
class action lawsuit, filed in the US District Court in Portland,
where ons US headquarters is located, target Awn's shoemade with

(04:10):
cloud tech technology, which pretty much all of them. A
hallmark of many of the brand styles. Cloud tech is
composed of differently shaped holes that cover the external and
bottom surface of the shoes. According to the lawsuit, a
full disclosure, these are probably the most comfortable shoes I've
ever owned in my life. I know you talk about
them quite often.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
At least.

Speaker 1 (04:31):
Eleven of so all of their styles pretty much have
the technology reference in the class action lawsuit. Lawyers for
the plaintiffs did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
According to the lawsuit, cloud tech was created to provide
cushion support when wear's land, but according to plaintiffs, the

(04:52):
technology rubs together when wear's walk or run, causing a
noisy and embarrassing squeak with each and every step. The
lawsuit Hour admits that while the squeaking shoes are seemingly
in consequential, the company has allegedly refused to provide refunds. Buddy,

(05:12):
let me tell you what. When I wear these shoes,
it sounds like nineteen twenty farm equipment. It's like, and
I always thought to myself, Man, I'm so fucking fat
that I'm flattening these shoes when I walk in them.
Well a lot of it.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
It's like it's the insoles or it's the lower sole
that breaks, and it's just rubber rubbing against rubber. And
that's what like my work boots do that because they're
fucking so old they're broken.

Speaker 1 (05:40):
I know you might work for on Cloud, but I'm
trying to get some money right now, so I need
you to be on my side for this. Absolutely. I
want you to understand how embarrassing this has been for me.
I get it, man, I know I know how it is.
I've lived that nightmare. We went to a fancy restaurant,
fancy steakhouse, and you know, I got a lot of money, Like,

(06:01):
I've got a lot of money. And I went in
that steakhouse and I said, I'll take a table for two.
And before I even finish what I'm saying, that manager said,
who's squeaking? And it was my goddamn shoes. Man, I
don't you love that? And they put me on the
wait list and ship. Yeah, fucking your aura check got denied.

(06:24):
I'm a fucking joke. Yeah, And I wear those shoes
and I love wearing them, Like they squeaked so much
that when I wear them to walk the dog, she
gets distracted. Yeah that sucks. She's like, oh, okay, this
is like a roading or something. Play squeak toy. Squeak toy. Yeah.
We uh.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
There was a class action lawsuit against Facebook and we
filed we like filed for it as well.

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yeah, we got paid for it. It was like thirty one
bucks apiece. Yeah. I was like, hell, yeah, dude, right
in the bank, he has thirty two bucks I've ever made.
I got something. I got fifteen dollars for something the
other day. I don't remember what it was. I'm like, okay, whatever,
ill cash it. I'll fill out, you know, just as
much as I can. Yeah, I'll get hit by a car,
I know for sure. Every time I'm going to the
grocery store and I'm walking in and this is my speed,

(07:03):
Down'm like fucking hit me. Please hit me, for love
of God, hit me like I'm not gonna move. I
don't care if you have insurance or not. Take me out.
Killed me. So there was this thing I stumbled upon,
and I think it's a medical disorder that I think
both of us perhaps have. Okay, it is not this

(07:27):
is an autism, right, No, we got that. We already
know that it's the form of it. Okay, but it's
called chronic fart laughter syndrome. And it's people. Ah, you've
already You've already proven my point. Hell yeah, dude, I
was expecting that it's people that uncontrollably laugh and cannot
not laugh when they hear the sound of a fart. Okay,

(07:51):
So I'm gonna be doing a social experiment for this episode. Okay.
I found a track of one thousand farts the last
one hour and fifteen minutes. Can we listen to all
one thousand? Far? Please? Well, I'm gonna play this track
in the background of the entire episode. Can you can
you imagine someone tuning into this episode and it's two

(08:12):
and a half hours long, and they're like, holy shit,
this is gonna be fun. This is the first hour,
straight forward. It's us on the back end. Well, I'm
gonna start it, okay, and we'll see see you really hard.
Going to play in the background the whole time. Let
it run, due, Let it run.

Speaker 4 (08:31):
That's a it's a long one. Ooh okay, the same
tone the whole time.

Speaker 1 (08:46):
Funk laughter. Yeah. So here's the deal, guys. I was
playing this as a test to see if we do,
in fact have chronic fart laughter syndrome. And I think
we do. Think so let it ready, Yeah, keep it going.

(09:10):
Some of these Jesse's dying, Everybody's fucking nde the entire episode.
Fucking let it roll, dude. Some of these comments on
here it says my son loved this video. He recently
passed away from stage four prostate cancer. I listened to
this every day and commemorate the love I had for him.
Rest in peace, Johnny knuckle Fingers eight sixteen forty seven,
two thousand and nine oh shit. Uh. My favorite part

(09:37):
is it says three minutes, sound like it hurt. Oh
that's a chainsaw. Need more fiber. So as long as
you got you guys are comfortable with it, we're gonna

(09:58):
play this for the rest of the episode. Yeah, dude, seriously,
let it roll. People that are like I can't listen
to that.

Speaker 3 (10:07):
I tried listening to this podcast about a sleep condition
I was suffering from, and they played a track of
one thousand fart to the background while.

Speaker 1 (10:18):
They recorded one star.

Speaker 3 (10:20):
If I could rate this negative five stars, I would.
They're so immature. They played fucking fart noises for an
over fifteen minutes.

Speaker 1 (10:36):
We kentuck it under a little bit. That's pretty fucking loud. No,
that's fine. I can't barely hear I honestly can't hear
it anymore, just background noise. You can hear that still.
It just sounds like the ac hum. Sounds like my
dad's motorcycle used to give me a ride on in
the shower while he's wet. Oh shit, it's so stupid.

(11:02):
My favorite part about that is it's literally the like
fakest farts sound. It's not even real ones. It's just
like artificial fucking like the electronic box that you'd hit
a button and it would fart. So it sounds like
we're trying to do trying to take the fake farts
the kid the scene, and when they get the means
take the Red Dive forty, that farts will stop, the

(11:27):
kids will stop being sick with fank farts U RFK.
Appreciate your hard work, brother, Sorry, it was so hard
to for you to explain what happen getting over it
with fake farts. And I'm getting the red Dot forty.

(11:48):
And if he takes away Red Dive forty at the
same time they just release code red zero, I'll fucking
find him and he'll be another fucking chapter in that
Kennedy Deaf book add to the pages. I'm not gonna
kill Him'm just gonna kiss him, dude, uncomfortably kissing. Oh yeah,
but real, let this farts played, doc, Let it roll, dude, real,

(12:13):
there we go, All right, that man, here's a quick break.
One thousand farts depends are Yeah, here's a quick break
for some of our sponsors. All right, and welcome back everybody.

(12:39):
We're gonna be talking about the what did we played
the farts to our ads. We all noticed that you've
somehow managed to I want to say, I can't play
this yet, okay, man, that hurt. Oh all right, dude,

(13:01):
just a fort that's okay. I'm trying. I'm trying. You
wake up in the dark and you can't move. Your
mind is awake, your body is not. You can feel

(13:21):
the weight of your blanket, the air in the room,
the slow hum of your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
Something feels wrong. At first, you think of the dream
until your eyes adjust to the dark, and that's when
you see him. A figure in the corner, still too
tall to be anyone in your house, the outline of

(13:43):
a hat, wide brimmed, shadows spilling down like black fog.
You want to yell, but your voice is trapped somewhere
behind your teeth. The figure doesn't move, he just watches.
Minutes feel like hours. Then, just as suddenly as he appeared,
he's gone. The room feels lighter again. Your body releases.

(14:08):
You sit up, gasping. You turn on every light in
the house, and that's when it hits you. It was not.
It was not a dream. Who scary man? Turn off? No,
that fucking chills turn us off. Well, we've got our

(14:29):
fucking shit all messed up. Now. Now I turn off
one video, Well, I turn one thing off, another thing
turns on. I guess we got to leave that one
on them. And when I turn the farts off, everyone
gets sad. People start cutting themselves. The hat man, I'm

(14:55):
going hat man. Hundreds of thousands of people across the
world describe the exact same thing, waking up paralyzed, unable
to move, seeing a shadow man and a hat standing
over them, same shape, same dread. Some say he touches them.

(15:16):
Oh fuck, lucky you. Well, I'm invited to my birthday. Boss,
I'm gonna be late today because the hat Man was
touching on me sleep last night. You got them long
slender fingers. Come here, come here. Some say he leans
close enough that you can feel his breath on your skin.

(15:39):
Some say he smiles even but they do all call
him the hat man. Have you ever seen the hat Man?
I don't think so. I've seen scenes something. I've not
seen a hat man, but I've seen a black Man's scary.

(16:03):
It depends on where you're at, dude, I was completely
caught off. Like today, I was coming home from work
and I needed to get my tires about my front
two tires balanced. I stopped this little Poe dunk. It's
called No Name Tire Shop. I don't think I've ever
got my tires balanced before I did today. I knew
this place to do it cheap. And I pull up
in this uh like absolutely beautiful. Black fellow comes out okay,

(16:33):
and he's like, what's going on? Man? Smoking a black
and mild. I'm like, of course, the best smell ever.
First of all, yeah, I love the smell of beautiful.
I just need to get my front two tires rotated.
He's like, it's all you coming in. He's just stared
at me. I was like, oh god, all right, yeah,
I hope so mad. And uh he's like, you're a
Bengals fan. I was like, I'm a huge Bengals fan.

(16:53):
He's a ticket holder. He said, you get half off.
Oh shit, really, that's what I said. I said really,
he said no, not really. Hell yeah, dude, I love it.
And then he came out and uh, he was working
on my ship right next to me. I'm just standing
there and he's got the car jacked up and he's
taking the tires of wheels off and he's like, you
like anime and I was like, just a dude, this

(17:14):
is a fucking joke. Someone this guy listens to the podcast.
He knows I hate anime. You want to see this
huge dick in my trunk. I'm like, what not not
not really haven't really watched too much of it. I haven't.
I haven't seen that episode. I was talking like a
complete fucking idiot, like no, I don't know him. He's

(17:37):
like not even Sailor Moon, not even Dragon ball Z
and uh, I'm like, I'm near Rudo run sometimes in
the house. The kids think that's hilarious. And he's like,
hell no, man, he the all dude wanted to talk about.
And he was like I don't know, like this is

(17:57):
not a very fair adjective or way to scrub. But
he was like black black, and he's like, I want
to talk to me out fucking anime And I love
that dude. I love it, and he like I want
to be I kind of want to be friends with him.
And he told me he was fifty five, which I
didn't believe. But he was black, so I would not
have stopped me. Okay, black, and I would have stopped
me because I don't like to kiss him in the smoke.

(18:21):
It's strange. And I met a fifty five year old
black black gentleman that enjoyed fucking yu gi oh and
I think it's fucking dragon ball z and uh. I
felt like it was somebody from the podcast messing with
me right right, But it wasn't. It could have been.
He did a bang up job by tipting ten dollars.
He was really really happy over that. So oh yeah,
good for.

Speaker 2 (18:40):
Him, Good for you. Those are a strange, funny counter
any type of people that are like that.

Speaker 1 (18:46):
That's interesting.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, I love I love meeting a really good, interesting,
fun person no matter where I'm at.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
It's it's cool. Yeah, because everybody's so fucking everybody's so grumpy.

Speaker 2 (18:56):
Now, yeah, very much, or just like they just or
they it's that or they just don't give a ship.

Speaker 1 (19:02):
People just don't like communicating anymore. We took it.

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Yeah, Like when we were in Texas, we took several
ubers in the entire time. It was really weird because
they disliked nobody talked, and we had this one older
black gentleman talked the entire time. Super fucking funny, super cool, dude,
tipped him.

Speaker 1 (19:17):
Good. Yeah, just people just sometimes just want to talk,
you know what I mean. But then not all people
that get into an uber want to be talked to.
That's true. That's true. Some people, like some women, I
man like, like, I know there's some women you're like, hey,
how are you like? Fuck you and you're just like,
oh my god, okay, all right. Not raper.

Speaker 2 (19:38):
And one of the people we had it was the
one of the women in the tesla that I said
that we wrote in. I was sitting over there trying
to talk to a whole time. He was just like,
Oh you like the car?

Speaker 1 (19:49):
Yeah, I like it. How long have you had I
was like, this is in really good shape. Have you
had it for long? About two months? Cool? Well like,
oh okay, anyways, I'll go fuck myself. I want to
kill myself. What do you think?

Speaker 2 (20:05):
I was there, temb wife like oh look at this,
look at that, look at that, and she's just sitting
here just okay.

Speaker 1 (20:12):
Yeah. Man, that's some people's things. They just don't like
talking to people, which is fine, I guess, but it's weird, man.
I get it, dude. That's my favorite things. I love
it standing around with a diet mountain dew and talk
to people specifically died mountain dew. Yeah, man, just chat.
The stories are well, they're freakishly consistent. He's tall, six

(20:32):
to seven feet Damn, completely black, like he's absorbing the light. Damn,
no face, no eyes, just the shape of a man
and a fedora or a cowboy hat milady. Sometimes he's
even wearing a trench coat, which is oddly sexually aggressive.
Sometimes trench coat and a fedora. Hide the pussy Jes Louise,

(20:53):
save save some some puss for us. Black hat man.
Sometimes he's wearing a trench coat. Sometimes he's just a silhouette.
He never speaks, though, he never runs. He's a cook.
He just watches. And if you're listening and you don't
know what a cuck is, look it up. You can

(21:14):
find encounters from every corner of the internet. The the
hat man encounters is such a prevalent emerging thing. So
many people experience experience this phenomenon. I've experienced it. I
don't know what the fuck it is. I don't know
how it happens. I just know that there's like a
thing floating across my bedroom and it looks like it's
wearing a hat. Interesting some of the encounters. This person said,

(21:39):
he leaned over my bed and whispered my name. I
could feel the mattress dip. Another person said, when I
finally moved, he was still there. Then he melted into
the wall, which is a shit. A lot of people
describe this thing melting into the wall, which is pretty weird.
And this lady goes on to say, my husband saw
him two same night, same corner of the room. Damn.

(22:02):
And the first recorded mentions go uh, they go way back.
Cultures around the world have talked about shadow beings or
sleep demons that please try this. The Inuits call it
the oct sniq octo snique. Should we look that one up?

(22:24):
There is no fucking way snique. There is three cs
in this word. That's too quy for me. It's too cuey.
There's it's c's without us, which is even English. My
mom used to beat the ship out of me or
my homework. Yeah, this is and I'm like, I don't

(22:45):
do words of cues.

Speaker 2 (22:46):
This is some fucking unknown language. That's like the that's
like the cute thing you say, like you're I heard
it on the Simpsons one time. Ned Flanders said it
to Maud and he's like, you're the cue to my U.
And I thought about it.

Speaker 1 (22:56):
I'm like, every word that I know that has a
Q is followed by a U word. I've ever looked
up the pronunciation for they have.

Speaker 2 (23:06):
But besides this one took see Nick Minique, is that.

Speaker 1 (23:12):
Oc took sneak I gotta rte the first time. Robert
Octok sneak okay I jump might be a Native American
somewhere down the line. Hell yeah, man, which is the
It translates to the pressing down shit, fuck, God damn.

Speaker 5 (23:30):
I don't like to do that to my wife. I
get depressing down on your girl. You're trying to fight back.
You clamp your legs tight. You don't let daddy in there.
Black one of them, goddamn sleep demons. I'm gonna fucking
kiss you.

Speaker 6 (23:46):
Oh.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
An old European folklore, it was the nightmare. It translated
to that an evil spirit sitting on your chest. Fuck.
But the hat man he's different, specific recognizable. He's not
crawl on your chest or screaming in your ear like
an incubus or a succubus. He's just there. He's calm,

(24:07):
he's intelligent, he's reserved, he's deliberate. Hmm, don't say he's
even cerebral. That's funny because the my one.

Speaker 2 (24:18):
Big splash, last experience I ever had was a fucking
beard on my chest.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
That's an incubus or succubus. I think it was a dude.
You were raped, nothing was touched. Would you like to
do a police report right now? No, I'm okay. Statute
of limitations, it's don't don't bother? Can you file her preach?
Please be on a ghost that house. That house is
tore down, so I don't think. I think the ghost
is disparsed. It's gone fucking who knows. It's in a rubble.

(24:47):
I would like to report a crime. I was raped
by a ghost. It's about twenty twenty something years ago.
I want your top investigator on this case. But the
hat man, you know, he's paranormal, researchers say reports skyrocket

(25:07):
in the nineteen nineties. Of course, the explosion came after
late night radio host Art Bell from Coast to Coast
open his phone lines for listeners to share shadow people's
stories and that they did on the Coast to Coast am.

Speaker 2 (25:22):
I do want to say, you know, we talk about
maybe not so much anymore, but when we first started,
we talked about Coast to Coast.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
And Art Bell a lot. Well, I'm actually going to
play a clip awesome from that segment.

Speaker 7 (25:36):
Le Let me see if I can get you to
understand this. I'm a pretty rational person. I'm actually kind
of a skeptic with most things. Frankly I am. But
I'm telling you, David, this thing had form.

Speaker 1 (25:52):
It was real.

Speaker 7 (25:54):
It was not some trick of shadow. Its not some
trick of something whispering across my eye. It was real.
On my right, it was real. It was real behind me,
it was real on my left. This was a real something.
And you know, I can say these words and people
who sit out there and go, yeah, right, he saw something. No,

(26:17):
I saw a shadow person or what I would describe
as a shadow person. And there's absolutely no question about it.
If people want to doubt it, fine, doubt it away.
This thing was real, a real something, and it was terrifying.
Now that I've got that off my mind, I.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
Hope, Well, I absolutely believe you are. And so that
was an entire, entire show. And if you look up
on YouTube, you can go you type in art Bell
Shadow People. It's a two hour episode about shadow people,
and the video track behind it is just a guy
driving around in traffic, and it's one of the most

(27:00):
relaxing videos I think I've ever seen. And what really
made me it's in Houston. I was gonna say, where's that.
I'm trying figure out where's that? By Houston? It really
coast to coast A m was one of the main
reasons I fell in love with the paranormal, with the strange,
the occult. It was so cool because a growing up,

(27:21):
when we would be like as we were driving, if
we got out and we were driving late, it would
be on the radio. Yeah. So what I used to
do is we I had this little shower radio around
radio and I would turn it on and then I
would turn it all the way down and I'd put
it under my pillow or next to my pillow, and
I'd fall asleep and I'd listen to art Bell every night,

(27:42):
and dude, some of these dreams. I'd have some of
the stuff that you would hear on the the nights
that they thought that nobody was listening. Some of the
shit that I remember. One time this guy called in
He's like, I was at a stop light, this right
next to me, the the overhang for the bus stop.
I saw this creature leap down out of the air

(28:03):
on top of the awning of the the bus stop.
It started to try and rip the top of the
bus stop off, and then it just kind of jumped away,
you know, bar fetched whatever. But still some of the
stuff that I would hear on there, I'm just like, man,
this is so freaking cool. Yeah, George Norri is I
got more George norri than I did Art Bell, and

(28:24):
I really enjoyed. I really enjoy George Norry as well.
I think he's got a tremendous radio voice, and he
just made everyone feel like they were wanted in that
community and made them feel like what they had experience
was valid. And he never made anybody feel like they
were a freak show. Yeah, you know a lot of
them were that we're calling in.

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I feel like that's it's very similar to, you know,
the way that you and I take on it anytime
we talk to anybody, like interviews essentially, people. I'll see
comments every now and then where it's like, why you
know this obviously is fake, Like why aren't they it's
not about you know, we're not trying to dis prove anybody.
We want people to talk about who telling Yeah, just
regardless if we believe it or not. We're not gonna

(29:05):
stay whether we believe it or not. The story is
a story nonetheless, you know, I mean, it's it's still
cool whether it happened or not. And I would love
to do a calling episode, just like for ghosts, for
ghostly encounters, and maybe we could do something like that.
You know, don't cool, don't call in to call us,

(29:25):
tell us we got type two diabetes and shit.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
We know, yeah, we know, we know. Just calling to
tell ghost stories and almost like an episode of Code,
just like an ode to the original. That'd be really cool.
I would like that. By the early two thousands, though,
the Internet turned in turned him into a legend. Forums
fill with sleepless people trading horror stories. And the strangest

(29:51):
part though these people they did not know one another.
Yet they describe this to the tea. They described the
same hat man in their surround psychiologists. They tried to
explain it as sleep paralysis, which is one of the
scariest things you can go through. The body frozen between
rim and waking, the brain projects hallucinations as it fights

(30:15):
to regain control. But why out of infinite imagination would
people across the world see the same at man figure
without any communication with one another. Right, And last night
I had a really fucking bad night, dude. I fell

(30:36):
asleep about eleven o'clock two am. I woke up from
having a horrifically weird dream nightmare, okay. And when I
woke up, do you remember it? It was like apocalypse? Okay.
I was running door to door, beating on people's doors
to tell them, like, hey, something really bad is happening.

(31:00):
We gotta get out of here. And when I would
knock on people's doors, like their houses were falling down,
and like the earth was like crumbling around me. Yeah,
it was thundering and lightning, and the night was purple.
And my family like every time I would look behind me,
a different member my family was gone, and like yeah, dude.
Then finally I just like I'm like running. I knocked

(31:21):
down this final house and there's like a fucking graveyard there,
and then I turn around like we'd tell it like
who was left? We gotta go? And there was nobody else.
It was just me and then I told myself, I'm
just gonna stay in this. I'm gonna stay here in
the cemetery and fucking die because like I have nothing,
I'm just gonna die. And then it came to my
head like you're having a dream. Wake up. I love that. Yeah.

(31:44):
I love when I'm in a dream and my dream
self is like you're in a dream. Yeah. So I
woke up and I was just like awful feeling in
my stomach. It was two o nine and I woke
up and I just said, God, that was fucking awful.
I hope I don't dream about my dog dying. And
then I fell asleep and my dad ran my dog
over the lawnmower. The lawnmower. Jesus Christ. I'm like, dad, man,

(32:08):
fuck you, wow, I'm trying. I got my dead, bloody
dog in my hands. I'm like she was everything to me,
and I almost like, you know, I'm yelling her. You
didn't play with her, you didn't fucking give her a bath. Fuck,
this is my baby, this is my girl. You don't care.
You're just you're stupid and drunk, which he doesn't drink.

(32:32):
You don't know what you're doing. You ran my dog
over a the lawnmower. Now she's dead, you fuck you
fat piece of shit. I'm just like, I'm like being
mean to my dad, who I would never like. My
dad could do no wrong. In my eyes, love the
dude more than anything. I'm just like, you killed my
fucking dog, you piece of shit. And then I woke

(32:55):
up from that. I'm like, man, that was horrible. I
hope I don't dream about drowning. Well. Sleep There I
am in the middle of the ocean, tread and water ninetymore.
We're sinking, We're drowning. You fucking you manifested all of
your nightmares. Oh, we don't dream about Robert sucking my dick.

(33:17):
Then nothing happened, Just alarm clock for work went off. Yeah,
the past stressful night. That's wild. Even I kept a
few months ago, I got the the Apple wach like
I got an Apple watch that I can keep it
on for like two or three days without charging it.
It gives me a synopsis of how my sleep went.
And even even this morning. Usually my sleep number is

(33:38):
like ninety six, ninety eight, ninety nine. Oh, I'd love that.
And even last night I was like, you didn't sleep
so well all you're telling me, Steve Jobs, I never
do man, God damn. I drowned, my dog got ran
over the lawnmower, killed myself in a cemetery because my
family will die in the apocalypse. That's wild, that's crazy
dressed brother. The Cincinnaia Reds losing in the first round

(33:59):
the playoffs really did it for me. You've been going
down hills spiraling. But what they do, what they do,
that they do, they can't tell that that. Patterns begin
to emerge with all of the hat Man encounters. He
appears mostly most often between two and four am, usually

(34:20):
during periods of stress, trauma, or illness or my case,
I skip that. I skip the hat Man. I just
go straight to my family dying and my dog getting
ran over by a lawnmower. Common symptoms are vibrations in
the ears, pressure on the chest, heavy air. Oh and
this is pretty creepy here. Some see smaller shadow figures nearby,

(34:44):
like minions before the hat Man arrives, almost like he's
the he's the boss, the little yellow minions. Yeah, they
say that the hat Man though he's the boss. Okay,

(35:07):
that makes sense. Oh, hello, there, I see you boys
trying to go to sleep, and I was just trying
to stop by and let you know that it's not
safe to sleep around him. I've been watching you a
hoot on the podcast. You called me a cook. All
asleep and I'll slit your fucking throat boy. One Reddit

(35:31):
thread from twenty eighteen, who says I woke up at
three eleven am and he was there, tall, solid black
fedora and I tried to scream. He tilted his head
like he was curious. The second I moved my hand,
he stepped away into the hallway and he was gone, Well,

(35:51):
if you're gonna cause all this noise, I guess you
don't deserve the presence of the hat man out me.
It's seeing my way out later, right before I run
this dog over with Alan Bowers. I leave your property,
won't you? The boy that played an hour and fifteen

(36:11):
minutes were the faults on a podcast it been meaning
to talk to you, Speaking of which, let's fucking run
that ship. See where it's at. We'll see where it's at.
I lost it, dude, man, how's you going to do that? Oh?

(36:32):
It's it's for real in my history though, so for sure.
By where we left off, I remember this part. This
is my favorite part. This next part is my favorite party.
Wake up child, fall asleep to this, just wake up

(36:56):
with shit in your pants? Wake up my that man.
I've been trying to scare you for two hours. Then
you won't stop putin, putin, And now that's what I
think you might have shoot it on you. I think
you might have shot it in the bed child. What

(37:23):
other channel name is audio farts? It's the itch when
it dries. Look at the videos, dude, I'm gonna read
their top seven video names. Long farts two hundred farts,
Top ten farts, one thousand farts, sixty five farts, one

(37:45):
hundred farts, Why sixty five? Just the same fucking fart.
This video is titled long farts. Get in there, Bud,

(38:05):
get in there. Wow. Powerful people do claim that he
sometimes reappears years later, much like our Lord and Savior
Donald Trump. He while we sent his ass to prison
and he's back. Isn't that crazy? Like GONNRHIEA, like herpes

(38:27):
fucking nice, the fucking herpe sore on the dick of America,
whether you like it or not. Others say he follows families,
even generations. They pass the hat man down from generation
to generation, and they see him in the same house.
Some of the earliest printed accounts go back further than

(38:49):
than most people think. The nineteen forties newspapers mentioned soldiers
seeing men in shadow hats in the field hospitals. I
think when I think about the Civil War and ship
those field hospitals are some of the scariest places I
think there's ever been on Earth. Those guys were getting

(39:12):
their legs lobbed off up to the hip with just
a little bit of wild turkey, not even get nothing
sanitary about the condition, even that good with a with
a saw that they'd use for trees earlier in the day, right,
and they got you know, we got enough cord stacked up,
now we're going to use the cut dude's legs off
in the hospital. Yeah, it's fucking nuts. Dude crazy a

(39:34):
Canadian during the nineteen sixties, though nurses and psychiatric wards
reported patients describing identical visitors. A Canadian woman in nineteen
sixty three told her doctor about a black hat man
who stood over her crib when she was a baby.
One of the things that separates the hat man from
ordinary ghost stories is who sees him. We're not talking

(39:55):
about random Reddit user names with candlelight Wuigi boards. There's
been documented accounts of police officers, soldiers, er nurses, even
priests had reported seeing the hat man. People with zero
history of mental illness, no reason to lie, and many reasons,
many things to lose if they did lie about something

(40:16):
stupid like this. A police officer in Ohio said he
saw the hat man three times. Once after a fatal
accident involving a child. He told his partner, quote, I
saw a tall guy and a hat watching me from
the woods. The partner said, yeah, I saw him too,
no footprints, no one else on the scene. And I
will say when I used to work at the police department,

(40:40):
there was a fellow by the name of Paul. I'm
not gonna say his last name, crazy old guy. One
day I was my first started working the police department.
My main job was maintain evidence. I was in charge
of the property room, and one day we were doing
I was purging the property getting No one had gotten

(41:04):
rid of old property in years, and it was to
the point where I was out of the room, so
I had to get rid of a bunch of old stuff.
And there was package. There was a packet of pictures
that I opened, and it was all all old vehicle
fatality pictures. I'm talking fifty one hundred and two hundred
pictures of people just like dead in car accidents, right.

(41:25):
So I took it to him. He was a detective
at the time, and I'm like, hey, I don't need
to keep these, do I? And he started looking through
them and just like every single one, Oh, I remember her,
I remember him, Yeah, I remember that one. Oh, I
took this picture. I took this picture too. And then
he got to the one. It was near this bridge

(41:47):
that was no longer in service. And when he got
to that one, he was kind of like, fucking he
stopped and uh, he was just staring at it. And
I was like, that one, that one extra special. He
looked at me like eyes pale, white, dude, and he
said that was the scariest fucking night of my life. Nick.
And I said, were you involved in the accident? He

(42:09):
said no. This was a young teenage girl and she
got hit by a drunk driver and it killed her.
She got thrown from she got thrown from the vehicle.
When I got to the scene, I could see her
on the road and she was like she was dead

(42:30):
and he could tell that, yeah. But he said, I
saw a guy like a with a with a like
a black beanie or a black I think. He said,
like a like a black bean saw a guy with
like a black beanie in the passenger seat of the
vehicle that she was in. So I looked at her
and I ran to the vehicle to see if I

(42:52):
could get him out. And when I got to the vehicle,
there was nobody in the passengers shit, And he said
it was without a shadow of a doubt, he saw
somebody with some type of black He called it like headgear,
but he said, like had some type of black apparatus
on his head in the pastor seat. And he said
when I ran up there, there was nobody in the seat.

(43:15):
And he was just like he was fucking shook when
he was telling me the story, man, and that A
couple of days later, he pulled up. I was going
to the building I used to do evidence runs. I
take him to the crime lab, go back, and I'm
walking inside. He pulls up next to me outside and
he's like, hey, Nick. I said, hey, Paul, how's it going, buddy?

(43:36):
He said, I want to take you to that bridge
and show you where that girl died. I haven't stopped
thinking about that. I want to take you there and
show you. So I was like, okie, So I got
in the pastor seat and we drove that bridge and
he kind of just went through the whole story all
over again, but just a super weird You could tell
it that it deeply affected him. And this guy I

(43:56):
never met somebody with such a strange I shouldn't say strange.
He was just a goofy, goofy dude man, just a
goofy guy, and that really affected him deeply. Like it
wasn't something I didn't feel like he was pulling my leg.
It felt like it was something that deeply affected him.

(44:16):
For you to see a visible change in his demeanor
once he saw the picture, that says a lot. This
is the same guy that went on a date and
threw his shit out the window and landing on the skylight.
Hell yeah, you go back to the early episodes. You
can hear that story for what it's worth. A while ago, YEP,
a nurse in a California described an identical encounter in

(44:38):
a hospice ward patients on their last nights would wake
up screaming, pointing at the doorway, saying he's here. The
staff thought it was medication side effects until they saw
until she saw him herself, standing in the doorway of
an empty room at three am. Solid black hat brimmed
down low. The next morning, her patient in that bed

(44:59):
passed away. He died. In the decades before internet folklore,
many many years ago, artists painted and wrote about shadow
gentlemen or dark visitors, and some cultures the hat was
a symbol of authority, a spirit of judgment watching the living.
Others saw him as a harbringer of death. One of

(45:21):
the creepiest modern cases came from Chicago family in nineteen
ninety five. The father and teenage daughter both woke in
the middle of the night to see a man in
a hat at their bedroom doorway. The next morning, their
grandmother died unexpectedly. They never connected the dots until they
both admitted seeing the hat man on the same night.

(45:44):
You may call it a coincidence, maybe, but the pattern
keeps showing up. Hat Man sightings often coincide with loss,
with illness, death, tragedy. A lot of stories, A lot
of people claim that they see the hat man and
then somebody has already died that they didn't know about,

(46:06):
or somebody passes shortly there after the uh, the appearance
of the hat Man. So if I see the hat Man,
I must be like, all right, do who is it?
The fucking death omen Man? Who you take in? Man?
Who is it? The grim Reaper? Could be very much.
I mean, yeah, it'd be. There's a The hat Man

(46:31):
Project is a real online archive collecting global reports since
the early two thousands. You can google it. I looked
into it. The hat Man Project thousands upon thousands of
submissions from the US to Europe, South America, and Asia.
The patterns are very we'll say unnerving. Most sightings occur
between two and five am, the hours sleep scientists call

(46:54):
dead time. Many reports mentioned personal crisis, whether it's grief, illness, addiction,
recent loss trauma, near death trauma. Others involve children describing
him before they even know what he is. Anytime a
kid is like, kids are kids, Kids will scare you.

Speaker 2 (47:16):
It'd see shit. I feel like that we that we
can't they do in one of animals too. Uh yeah,
not dumb ones though, that's I mean. One of probably
one of my favorite episodes we've ever done is called
children that talk to the dead, And it's such a creepy,
creepy thing for me to know that we as adults,

(47:40):
we are so sped up and so in the moment
that we don't stop and slow down to see the
other side of the world that's kind of like fading
in and out around us.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
That children are still so aware, untainted and innocent that
they can see these things. It's really weird. It's like
they can they can almost see that, you know, that
that entire plane that we just can't. It makes you.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
Wonder, like what what what tunes? Like when does the
separation happen?

Speaker 1 (48:14):
Right? Yeah, I think life's I think life just speeds
up for us. Yeah, and we just become kind of
numb to things around us, Like that shadow in the corner.
You're like, oh, whatever, it's a shadow in the corner, right,
But that could be something kind of fading in and
out of our our our plane, or our dimension, or

(48:35):
just something from the If you believe in the paranormal,
if you believe in like things can pass back and forth,
something's trying to reach you. If you believe in that
type thing, maybe you're not slowing down enough to just
like to take notice of what it is that's passing
in and out. It's it's always something. Those those things

(48:55):
have always intrigued me because I'm like, I just wonder, like,
what what is it? Like? What I want to see
that ship? You think you say you're intrigued, but really
what this boils down to is like we want to
see a fucking ghost. Absolutely, yeah, I just want to
see a ghost.

Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yeah, I mean I remember seeing it when I was young,
but of course now that I'm older, it's you don't.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
It's like, well, what what changed? You know? I mean,
what's could it? Could it be? You could chalk it
all up to like an overactive imagination, too much fucking sugar,
your dad punching your head too fucking hard. Dr Pepper Pepper.

Speaker 2 (49:27):
Yeah, but it's like you just want to know, and
it's one of those things that you won't ever really
get the exact answer to.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
I don't think, Yeah, what's wild man? Say tonight? Say tonight?
You go to bed right and all is quiet, everyone's
falling asleep, which I don't think this could happen, Like
nobody ever fucking sleeps at your house. So you you
one night, there's a wild night it's twelve o'clock and
everybody's asleep except for you. You get up and you're walking
down the hallway and then you see something walk from
wall to wall. Right, No one is ever gonna believe

(49:58):
you if you say you see that. Sure, And that's
the shitty part is say tonight, I wake up and
I see something dart across the hallway, and I know,
without a without a shadow of a doubt, I saw
a woman in a white dress floating down the hallway.
This is making my fucking her my next stand up
talking about it. But no one's gonna believe me if

(50:20):
I say I saw that. And that's what sucks about
being somebody that says, you know, I've seen spirits, I've
seen entities, I've seen this, I've seen that. People don't
believe you.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
They really don't unless you're a believer. I mean, I
would say, unless you're you know you've seen something yourself.

Speaker 1 (50:38):
There's literally people that have built lots of money an
empire on seeing ghosts, and nobody believes those guys. Sure,
it's kind of a catch twenty two. Probably if you
make a living off of it, The chance of you
having little boy that cried but then what if you
are something or someone that it's just kind of like

(51:00):
a lightning rod that these things from the other side
know they can use you as a contact point, almost
like a checkpoint. Yeah. I don't know. I wish, I
wish I were something like that, But that'd be a
heavy burden to carry you for sure.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
Sure, And I mean just like you said, I mean
then you have to worry just about everybody else thinking well,
is that person really that or is it but something else?

Speaker 1 (51:23):
I think that was kind of like the cool part
about I know they're kind of scummy, but Lorraine Warren, Yeah,
she didn't really care about There was no like, she
didn't care about what people thought about her, whether she
was seeing it or not. I think I think Ed
might have been exploiting the situation a little bit, but

(51:47):
I think Lorraine was. I think she was deeply rooted
in whatever it was. I think she was definitely a
part of it. She was not of like the scandal
side of it, right, but the actual I think she
was genuinely dealing with supernatural situations. Okay, And I think
that that fucking fat child molester ed it was exploiting

(52:10):
her and exploiting the situation. Look it up, alrightp you
got a fucking Mexican girl chained up in his basement
that he's fucking sweet. Well he's fucking dead, so yeah,
fuck him. He's dead. That doll still alive though he's
still got that doll. Fucking Matt Rife has shoved up
his ass. No more excuses. We texted you once, then twice,

(52:32):
then again. You ignored them all. Friend, this is your
final chance twenty five US dot co. What do you
think it is? Should we open it up? Yeah? Open
it up? What is it really? Hateful? Text? Your last chance? Man?
They're calling you the fucking you're sleeping on this five
bishal House GOP Border Security survey. Oh shit. After years

(52:57):
of open border ks borders, our Tom Hooman and the
Trump administration, the poor record, low crossing.

Speaker 6 (53:05):
In zero parole releases, your answers will guide House leaders
on the next round of enforcement, funding and penalties for
a lawless jurisdictions.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
I'm just gonna write back, fuck you. We can't say
Can we say? Say whatever you want? Man? It's our show.
Begot there you go? Yeah? Yeah? Got him boom roasted dying?

(53:41):
Just say that hat man? Well he's not real the
one time it's not automated. Oh ship, who and you
speak with Nick Alexander please? I did appreciate what you
called me. Who We've visited Stacy's uncle and Phoenix or

(54:03):
not Dallas. He's ninety three ninety four. He's like, I
keep on town these boys, and I ain't got a
knee replacement and I can't do and what they're trying
to get me to do? And I was like, what
are they trying to get you to do? He's like,
they've been begging me. He he's been begging me to

(54:24):
go to the White House. I'm like, who's been begging you?
President Trump? I had my stuff all set up for
marl a Lago and then I fell and didn't get
to go. I'm like, who are you talking to about
this stuff? He said, right here, and he held up
his cell phone and he's like waving it at me.

(54:45):
I've been texting with him and he pulled opened his
messaging up and he flipped his phone around and the
fucking fought was bigger than the screen. Dude for his
text messages. Yeah, he's got text backing well forward with
him about two three to three times a week. Uh,
and I'm just like, so sad, I said, Sam, I'm

(55:06):
not your son, but I love you enough to tell
you this. Those are not really political people that you're communicating.
Those are people scamming you out of money. Yeah. I
ain't gave him that much money. I was like, oh
my god. And his daughter got there, which she's like,
he's ninety six. She's like seven fucking seventy. Yeah. I

(55:27):
was like, your dad's given money to fucking Indian dudes
and diapers and a run down apartment complex and Bangladesh.
She's like, oh my god, this is the first she
heard of it. But this brother was convinced that he's
gonna be playing golf at mar A Lago in two weeks.
That sucks, man. I hate that shit. I was like,

(55:50):
how about you just give me your money, go play
golf with me. I'm real, I'll be thankful. Cyance said
as the hat man, Well, he is not real. He's
the brain's way of giving form to fear. When you
wake up and are in rim paralysis, your body is frozen,

(56:11):
but your fear center, the ammiglodala, is an overdrive. The
mind scrambles for an explanation. It builds an intruder out
of shadows and panic, while a the birth of the
hat man. The hat might be the brain's attempt to
make the silhouette distinct to sign identity to the unknown,
but that theory doesn't explain group sightings pets reacting physical

(56:36):
sensations like pressure and temperature drops. Some neurogist propose shared archetypes,
universal images built in the subconscious. The shadow man becomes
the shape of every predator your ancestors ever feared. Still,
for most witnesses science, it just doesn't cut it. The
terror it does feel external, like something in the room,

(56:59):
not in their head, and that's what makes it really
hard to buy into the scientific aspect of these encounters.
When you have a figure in your room with glowing
eyes and a wide brimmed hat that sits down at
the foot of your bed, that leaves impressions on the blankets,

(57:20):
that you can hear rustling in the bedroom, that you
can see leaning against the wall, that is not your
brain building something that is a legitimate figure, that's a
legitimate physical presence that you can see, you can physically
feel it there in the room with you. And that's
why a lot of people are dismissive of this been

(57:42):
not being something that it is in fact something still
for most witnesses science, like we said, it does not
cut it the tear. It's real. It's external that figure,
that hat man, that is something in the room, not inside.
Their heads were getting into old tumbler accounts sure archives.

(58:03):
This person says, I woke up to see him standing
in the corner of my dorm room. He had broad
shoulders a trench coat. I tried to move, I couldn't.
My roommate suddenly sat up, screaming she saw him too.
There was a truck driver from a truck driver that
was passing through New Mexico. It pulled over to take
a nap. In twenty eleven, he said, I opened my

(58:25):
eyes and saw a man and a hat standing outside
my window. I thought it was a cop until I
realized he had no face. He leaned towards the glass,
and I swear the temperare dropped twenty degrees. Inside the
cabin of the truck was a fucking dementory had outside
of a try to suck your fucking soul. One of
the most chilling reports came from a nurse in London.

(58:48):
She says, my patient flat line. My patient flask flat lined.
At three am. When I looked up from the monodath,
there was a tall figure and a hat standing in
the doorway. I blinked and he was going the room.
S'm like bent ah, oh interesting, burnt air. You were
a little fart on fire before. Uh, I don't think so.

(59:12):
I don't think I have pure fucking horse power, buddy, Torque.
I want to go to the emergency room with this
affliction right here, like, what what's wrong? What? Whether were
your symptoms? That's like thirty two second farts. It can't stop,
it won't stop, just twenty nine seconds every time far

(59:34):
I come. They're in the disorder where people are constantly
coming throughout the day, and I feel like that would
get old, really fucking old, dude, It would get really old.
Somebody ugly bitching you're out Here's like, you know what
go far? You gotta be a what spot? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (59:55):
I wonder if as a guy, if that, if you
have that, if you like, if you stop producing, if
you don't produce, cumb if it's just a feeling, or
if you're physically shooting. I don't think it matters matters
to your underwear.

Speaker 1 (01:00:11):
You're fucking your dick gets spackled against your hands. Man,
that doesn't feel good. We're in where we target and
we're walking down the aisles and we get this end
cap and there's dude wipes. I'm like, oh, dude wipes.
That's a different colored bag. And I get closer and
it's pumpkin spice. Dude wipes. Just up, dude, when you

(01:00:33):
want some blonde white bitch eating your ass? And I
started thinking that. I was like, Wow, what fucking gods create?
Why that's interesting? It's that's a that's a weird choice.
I like that'd make your like call him dumpkin spice.

(01:00:56):
Well fucking played, dumpkin spice. They've got dumpkin spice, fragrance free,
herbal Relief, mint, odor destroyer good God, and shade butter smooth.
I beout that shade butter smells good as how bad
does your ass have to stink in order for you
to have to use odor destroyer on it? Dude? I

(01:01:23):
want to test these out. I feel like a dude
wipe alone is good enough. Yeah, you don't need a
pumpkin asshole. I feel like i'd give your ass like
a East infection or something. I just have to worry, Like,
what are you worried about to make you believe that? Hey,
at some point today I may need my asshole smell

(01:01:43):
like pumpkin spice. Hey, baby, you'll never believe it. Smell
my butt. I'm not proud. Guess the scent. Oh I
want should smell something. I don't smell anything. That's right,
Odor destroyer, Now smell this one? Which one Odor destroyer? Man,

(01:02:07):
that's a wild that sounds fun, dude. Dumpkin spice is great, though,
How sad would you be if you used odor destroyer
dude wipes and cleaned your ass and then your ass
just never stunk ever again? Like you farted just wet, hot,
nasty farts. But what if it wasn't enough, just like

(01:02:27):
hat sticky fucking pizza ole farts and they never deep
dish destroyer Detroit fucking mozzarella cheese stick farts and they're
just they never stunk again. Is that a problem? I
feel like it would be. It wouldn't not upset you.

(01:02:48):
I mean I don't know, man, I never like, like
your wife fall asleep and you fart next to her
face when you're upset with her. Anytime I do get
a really good one and it doesn't stink. I'm I'm
kind of proud. No, oh, it makes me feel like
I've I've done something good with my eating habits. I'm
just the oppit. Sometimes I fart, I'm like, I hope
this kills. I hope somebody dies as a result of

(01:03:11):
this fart. Not me. Oh my god. Yeah, you the
odor destroyers and your butt just never stinks again.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
I'll fucking I'll rip them every now and then, like
at the end, at the end of the night, and
then I'll get up to have to go piss, and
I'll come back into the room and I want to
kill myself, Like it fucking smells like someone spread their
cheeks in front of my face right here.

Speaker 1 (01:03:31):
He said. Sometimes I rip them. Yeah, I mean a
fucking stitch in my asshole. I swear the PI and shit, Yeah,
give me a fucking husband's stitch. Orf that's cold. Get
much of it back to Birt was sitting neutral. Oh

(01:03:53):
where were we burnt hair? These stories they stack up
by the thousands, different con and same description. It's the
uniformity that makes it so damn creepy. If he's a
If he is a hallucination. Why do our brains keep
choosing the same nightmare over and over and over again.

(01:04:16):
This is a story from Reddit. It says during my
childhood and late teens in the two thousands, I was
a very vivid dreamer. I could basically command myself to
dream vividly. I had a dream one night about him
when I was a kid in the late two thousands.
Keep in mind I didn't know who the hat man
was back then. In my dream, I found myself surrounded

(01:04:37):
by trees. I realized very quickly that it was the
forest next to my old school. I had fun at
the beginning, but I realized that I was not alone
in the forest. The dream played out in my head
in the daytime, so it was it was easy to
spot anything anyways. When I walked around in the woods,
I noticed a dark figure in the distance, just stood

(01:04:59):
there watching me. The figure was darkness itself, and it
had a black trench coat and a black fedora. The
freakiest part was with the figure surrounded by the dark
visible aura. It was almost like smoke from a fire,
but darker. I freaked out and ran through the woods
towards my school. This figure kept the same distance all

(01:05:21):
the time, but I never saw him move. I ran
into the school and hid in a dressing room. The
last thing that happened was that I could feel him
just outside the room, coming closer and closer than I
woke up like them. Goddamn velociraptors and Gassic car yep.
When my daughter was around six or seven years old,
she asked me if I could sleep over at her

(01:05:41):
grandparents house. She wasn't acting sleep at sleep at her
grandparents house. She wasn't acting like herself. This is a
different story. Yeah, she was usually quiet that day. Unusually
quiet that day. I granted it. When I called to
have them bring her back the next day, she wanted
to stay another I granted that. The next day after though,

(01:06:03):
when I wanted to retrieve her, I got her to
sit in the car and she just started trying. She
didn't want to go home and beg to stay. She
then proceeded to tell me how she was woken up
in the middle of the night to see a dark
man in a hat with red eyes. She told me
he was just standing at the foot of her bed.
This is a kid who was only really exposed the
tinkerbell in door of the explorer the hat Man was

(01:06:25):
not in her wheelhouse. That is interesting for the paranormal
world has plenty of explanations for what for what this
may or may not be shadow people. For one, we've
talked about a lot over the years, the hat Man
is essentially their leader, the watcher. They feed on fear

(01:06:45):
and negative energy, appearing during high emotional turmoil. Some also
believe that he might be a interdimensional traveler. He's from
a neighboring reality, visible only when frequencies overlap during rem sleep.
That he's possibly an energy entity. He manifests when human
energy weakens, hospitals, war zones, moments, bouts of depression. There's

(01:07:11):
also the belief that he's a demonic presence. Religious investigators
say that the hat and the coats are disguises, a
mimicry of human form to gain your trust before oppression.
Investigators they've tried EMF meters, they've tried thermal cameras. They've
tried a lot of things. They record temperature drops, magnetic fluctuations,

(01:07:34):
sometimes nothing at all, but the reports never stop. People
describe feeling drained, they feel sick, and they feel they
have an affliction. They're plagued by nightmares for weeks after
the encounters. Whatever he is, the hat Man, he's patient.
People say, once you've seen him, you never quite sleep
the same ever again. You can trace the hat Man

(01:07:55):
silhouette through pop culture and mythology. In Germany, the noox
she knock Shaharr then not Zahara. The fe're no was
a corpse spirit wearing a hat that visited sleepers. A
corp spirit. That's kind of fucking cool. I don't want that.
I definitely don't. If I woke up and there was

(01:08:17):
a corpse spirit, I'd say, hey, you get the fuck
out of here. A dead body spirit. Very interesting, So
you just go. I fucking fart when I'm scared. Sorry
for you to go, buddy, I do twenty six second
farts when I'm scared. So it's either me or you.
Hitler ghost, get out of here.

Speaker 2 (01:08:40):
Engage twenty six second part parting.

Speaker 1 (01:08:44):
Age on the Fort Boosters. In Appalachia, old folks weren't
of the dark hat, and a one gamp for an
old dark hat, he was a signed that though in
the Appalachia the Boogey Everyone could have been a slur

(01:09:04):
for there too, Yet that dark hat filling the horses.
Get him out there cleaning down the horses. You know,
old dark hat out there in the milk, fucking owls.
The Boogeyman sketches from the early nineteen hundreds often show
a man in a broad brimmed hat. Even the uh

(01:09:26):
even the men in Black lore tall hat wearing figures
appearing after UFO sightings well parallels to him. There's a
galaxy defenders though, yeah, nex Sie, this is a this
is in contrast to that, so you know you have
the Tommy Lee Jones will Smith version of men in black.
What I'm talking about are the weird, reptilian oh yeah,

(01:09:51):
men in black, the tall, creepy, rubbery skinned, hairless beings
that I'm talking hundreds of encounters of people seeing these
investigators after they had visits of other worldly beings, after

(01:10:12):
they had uncomfortably closed calls with UFOs. They have these
guys that show up pale, tark like you can see
their veins, no hair, rubbery skin, weird voices. Love that,
love it, love it, love it. I love it too,
But a lot I'm thinking about this, the tie in

(01:10:35):
between the two. There's a belief that when people are
abducted by aliens, when they have extraterrestrial encounters that they
don't even realize what's going on. They seldom know that
it even happened that they like hypnotic regression or whatever
it's called, where they hypnotize you and then you're like, oh,

(01:10:57):
my fucking god, I got my asshole cut too. I
got it turned into a flat mignon when I was
fourteen years old by three aliens on a stainless steel
bed up in the air. Whatever. So after you have
these alien encounters where the whomever comes and abducts you,

(01:11:19):
or you have an exceptionally close call with a UFO,
you have these beings that come and visit you. They
call them the men in black, and they're tall, just tall, gangly,
weird looking humanoids will call them, Well, what if this
hat man right, stay with me for a second, I'm

(01:11:42):
with you. He's part. This is the same hat man
that comes and visits you after you're had some type
of extraterrestrial encounter. But the nights you the times that
you do see him, he's part of the pro and
he's just kind of like standing by watching whatever happens.

(01:12:05):
Do you happen. Maybe maybe you've already been abducted, and
he's just kind of sitting by, like his job to
fucking watch you to make sure that you don't die,
or it's his job to to scare you into staying
in bed, or it's it's crazy to think about that,
but yeah, there could potentially be a link between the
two because whenever you wake up, you know, you see

(01:12:29):
the hat Man whatever, You're already disoriented, You're already in
a strange you're in a this weird mental state. Yeah,
state of mind is skewed. Your brain's resting. And why
is that? Why? We don't know. And it could very
well be that, hey, you were you were used in

(01:12:49):
some type of experiment. You were used in some type
of extraterrestrial process, and this hat Man is just not
like that men in black. That's kind of associated what
I believe would be. I did forgot the we'll talk

(01:13:12):
about later. In twenty fifteen, the documentary The Nightmare interviewed
real people haunted by the hat Man for many, many years.
Their stories matched perfectly, silent, intelligent, always watching. One subject
said she tried sleeping in hotels to escape him, but
he showed up wherever she went. Damn. Another claimed he

(01:13:36):
once reached toward her and said, I told you I
would find you. Bit No, mytent really fucking scares me
across TikTok and read it. Though today, new generations are
still posting shaky videos, blurry silhouettes, begging the same question
why him now. Researchers at Stanford and Cambridge have studied

(01:13:59):
show figure hallucinations using brain imaging, and they found that
stimulating the temporo paridal junction can cause a sensation of
a presence. Combine that with paralysis, darkness, and fear, and
the brain kind of builds an intruder itself. But even
scientists admit something odd. The sheer repetition across time and

(01:14:21):
culture should not happen unless there's some shared neurological template,
which is in fact definitely not the case. Sleep labs
are recorded patients describing a man at the door seconds
before the body fully wakes. EEG scans show spikes and
activity identical to real world threat responses. The body and

(01:14:45):
the brain truly believes it is in fact in imminent danger. Wow,
So maybe he is a glitch in consciousness, that razor
thin line where dreams bleed into reality. Or maybe that's
just the rational explanation tell ourselves, because the alternative is
so fucking terrifying that there's a dark entity and a

(01:15:05):
hat in our room trying to fuck us.

Speaker 6 (01:15:09):
My name is Bill Wilkins and I'm seventy three years old,
not Dyn mown shit.

Speaker 1 (01:15:16):
That could be him, I could. I've never seen both
of them in the same room. You haven't, just saying
that Bill Wilkins is the hat man. Speaking of Bill Wilkins,
we have a super secret close group on Facebook. It's
called the butt Chuggers Anonymous the Brohio podcast Butt Chugger's Anonymous.
The password to get in the closed group is Bill Wilkins.
There you go. Every culture has its monsters, but few,

(01:15:41):
and I mean few, are are seldom this consistent that
hat man. He doesn't chase you, He doesn't kill you.
He doesn't need to. We said before. He's a cook,
just watches, just like to watch. He remind you how
helpless you are in your own bed, laying there sweating

(01:16:03):
because you forgot to turn the fan on. Porky picking.
You have a T shirt on, no underwear, Your balls
are hanging out, your dick is shriveled up inside your body,
Your dick is not even hanging down. Your dick is
not even hanging and he is watching. He sees you
at your lowest, you lying there with your your any dick.

(01:16:33):
You're tired, pillow full of drool, You're dehydrated. You haven't
had a fucking drink of water in seven days. You've
been drinking but nothing but want monsters and diet cokes.
You haven't had a solid heart on in three months,
still protruding into your body, and hat man is watching
you with your sad, sad dick day. You're a bad oh, hey,

(01:17:02):
you're a night farterer. Hat man he's there through all
of it. That's crazy. I don't think i'd like that.
What if you were the hat man? You gotta sign
to a bed wetter. Sit there, watch a guy pissed
the fucking bed for six hours. Listen to this text
message my wife sent me today. This is embarrassing. Mmm

(01:17:24):
like a good embarrassing text. Find it. She didn't send
it to me, She sent to me and my daughter.
She said, do you remember that one time you were
sleeping and Emily was in bed with you, and she
peed the bed and then you woke up and started
to cry. Because you thought you peed the bed because
you didn't know Emily's in bed with you. Did you
really cry? Ah? Fuck? It was all fucking hot and

(01:17:49):
stinky and stung skin. You were slapping somebody else's pissed before. Dude. Now,
I don't think it's a it's a it's a chemical
compound you're he's not used to. It's like getting stung
by a jellyfish. That makes sense, like sleeping in fucking
snake venom. That's gonna say it. It's jellyfish sting. Then

(01:18:09):
the piss would fix it. But that's not how that works. Okay,
somebody else has to piss on it.

Speaker 7 (01:18:14):
Ye.

Speaker 1 (01:18:16):
So maybe the hat man. Maybe he's an echo. He's
just a living piece of the fear we've all felt
at three am. Maybe he's proof that human consciousness shares
one big dark corner. Or maybe he's exactly what people
say he is. Maybe he is, in fact, a shadow
that feeds on terror, slipping through cracks between waking and
sleep to remind us we're never really alone. So if

(01:18:39):
you wake up tonight, and I hope you do, and
you see a tall man and a hat at the
end of your bed, don't panic. Just say Nick said,
you're a fucking cook. Dude, Rob, what are you doing here?
He's been doing this for a long time. He's seen
it all, man, and he's just just standing there and wait.
And when morning comes, you'll tell your self it wasn't real.

(01:19:02):
You'll try and convince yourself it was a dream, but
deep down you'll know the hat Man was real enough
to leave the line on Oh hat Man, love it
tlem here, my fucking kiss you. Clime here, I got
a wet dream. Hat man catches you in the middle
of a wet dream. Oh man, that'd be really embarrassing.

(01:19:22):
Hat Man's like crozy pillow. I gotta get out of here.
I've still got ten minutes left on the clock. Oh
my god, he's shit himself. Heart smells in hair.

Speaker 8 (01:19:43):
I'm a man and I don't like when peper bad.

Speaker 1 (01:19:55):
Anyways, brother, this is wonderful, very exciting news. Oh yeah, yeah,
you have your shirt you got We talked about it
on the YouTube tview. You gotta gotta explain to everybody
what's going on right now.

Speaker 8 (01:20:14):
You's fell asleep blessing to their one thousand farts readier
again and disgust them.

Speaker 1 (01:20:26):
We have something called the Paul Wall, where you can
send us pictures of your animals or your nana and
we'll put the pictures on the wall behind us. It
always fucks, always fucks me up when you mentioned the
nana's just in fact that you bosted the pictures of
their fucking grandma. Cool on the fuck did Paul all

(01:20:49):
reput animals from makes no? We got too nana's free
if you count my mom. From Kevin and soon bar
we got their their dogs Tater Waffles, Bean and Olive.
And if you're watching on the YouTube stream, you can

(01:21:10):
see that they sent me a shirt. I'm wearing a
shirt with someone else's animals, Else's dogs on the shirt.
It has their names. It says Olive, Tater, Beans, and Waffles.

(01:21:31):
I fucking love it. Second I saw that, like, you're
fucking I don't know who these dogs are. I remember
pet This is Kevin and Sarah's dogs, right. Here's a
Christmas card from last year. This is from the North
Pole Post. Oh ship, they're beautiful as dogs are Waffles
looks like a real ship. Get set of fucking balls

(01:21:54):
on that, but their dogs and a shirt that's cool
and I'm wearing it for the podcast this evening that's
so funny in them. Here's what's gonna happen. I got
prepared for the podcast this evening before my family came
home from all of their cheerleading and dance and all
that stuff. When I go upstairs a night, my wife's
gonna say, who are them fucking dogs on your shirt?

(01:22:16):
And I'm gonna say, I have no idea. You're gonna say,
tater waffles, beans, and all is tater beans, wall of waffles,
wall of waffles, olive waffles. And she's gonna say, you're
an idiot. There's some good looking poochas though. So I
guess if you send us a shirt of your dogs

(01:22:37):
apparently whatever, I have to wash this and like put
it like hang it up. Yeah, you have to the comfortable. Sorry,
I hope you fuck the waffles. That's all that that
fucking all those thirty two second farts that you held in.
I'm gonna have to keep on wearing this shirt, the
word off the farts, screaming sheep the way.

Speaker 2 (01:23:20):
Oh man, I'll tell you what, man, Oh god, My
as as we talk about a lot, the fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
The TikTok algorithm constantly changing and mine is nothing but
AI videos. God dude, I'm fine. It's it's so I'm
so sick of them. I'm so like going in waves. Yeah,
I see some ones that are really, really good, but
then I'm just like the over abundance. It's just crazy.

(01:23:53):
I'm just fucking sick of it. But this one you
sent me earlier was great. Yeah, fucking loved this. All right, Helen,
it's your turn to solve what do you have check
with the judges. Hang on, I'm sorry, that's not it.

(01:24:13):
We'll move on. Helen Keller. It's in the station and
she liked it. She didn't think anything's funny, and she
liked that one. It's the ones like that that really like.

Speaker 2 (01:24:27):
It started with, like, you know, the typical AI stuff,
and then it went to like the fucking Bob Ross
and mister Rogers.

Speaker 1 (01:24:34):
Have you seen the ones with Bob Ross getting attacked
by the cat? Yeah? Yeah, I re shared a bunch
of those two little motherfucker and it was like wrestling,
and they're wrestling, and now it's like animals getting thrown,
like thrown through the air and tornadoes. Mine's all meme
whiles getting back massages and getting thrown to the wall.

Speaker 2 (01:24:51):
See that's a new one, which the first time I
saw it, I was like, because I usually I watched
those massage videos, and I saw it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
Like god damn, the first I almost and then it's
like every other video of our societal downfall for my
dad's like what can't even to get a massage nowadays?
Killing everybody? Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for

(01:25:19):
joining us on this episode of the Borhio Podcast. We
yearn deeply for your companionship, and we're so thankful that
you uh spend the time that you do with us.
The worldless street is that we will be coming to Charlotte,
North Carolina very soon, very very soon, So keep your
eyes and your ears open for that announcement. I can't wait.

(01:25:44):
Do hope you will join us for that live show.
What we're just gonna We're gonna try and do a
world tour. I'd love that world tour because we will
never get the chance to do this ever again in
our life. I imagine once we turn forty, people will
stop liking us. I would think, so yeah, like, ow,
they're too fucking old, We're too old right now? Well
you do is plase fart videos, talk about pumpkin spice,

(01:26:10):
dude wipes. All right, guys, have a great week. We
love you and uh we'll talk to you soon. Love
you guys. Bye, m H. I want to see your

(01:26:36):
das