The Kissing Cousins Murders

This week, we're diving headfirst into the flaming dumpster fire that is the Bitter Blood murders. It's got everything: cousin-lovers, pipe bombs, poisoned Kool-Aid, and enough red flags to start a communist parade. Susie Newsom and Fritz Klenner weren’t just unhinged—they blew the damn hinges off. Buckle up, this one gets real stupid, real fast.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:17):
It's a very special Wednesday night edition of The Cream Spot. Robert,
you know the hardest part about being your best friend?

Speaker 2 (00:32):
You're dick, my dick.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
And people that don't use turn signals go fuck yourselves.
That's bad news.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
God Brough.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Welcome in everyone. I am one half of the world
famous almost world famous Prohio podcast. So happy to have
you guys along here this evening for our episode on
the Kissing Cousins Murder. Hell yeah. If you've ever fucked
your cousin, send us an email. Brohio podcast at gmail

(01:06):
dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:07):
Episodes dedicated to Kanye.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
What's going on with him? Man, he sucked his cousin's
dick a whole lot. Amen. I'm led to believe that
he might have enjoyed it.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
We've all had a cousin who's dick we wanted to
suck once or twice.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
We just don't do it. Did you hear his meltdown yesterday?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
I don't think I did.

Speaker 1 (01:25):
Now, Holy shit, he's wearing a mask.

Speaker 2 (01:27):
He was usually is.

Speaker 1 (01:29):
Now fuck dude, Oh man, He's like, see my fucking
I'm gonna take your as court.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
I can't see my fucking kids, my motherfucker.

Speaker 4 (01:37):
I'm gay.

Speaker 1 (01:38):
He was it was.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
South Park nailed it, man, he's Gayfish got his ass.

Speaker 1 (01:45):
Yeah, hey, we got your ass. Let's say thank you
to our new patron subscribers. How about this. I'm gonna
start for.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
The bottom up this time. Oh okay, okay, Big Rob
twenty four.

Speaker 1 (02:01):
That seems like that might be an inside job. Robert,
it wasn't me, Big Rob twenty four, money on us.
We got Robert Dog. Now we got Big Rob.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
That's what's up.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
We almost have a whole fleet of fucking Roberts. That's
a pathetic fleet right there.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Brother. We ain't good people.

Speaker 1 (02:19):
So thanks, Big Rob, appreciate you. Next we got Drew Swiger,
Thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (02:23):
Drew.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Oh old Drew Daddy. He went to the the the
well and he drew some water. I've been drinking a
lot of die of coke. I think I'm fucking autistic, like.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
You're a good like ice cold sodie. It just fucking
hits man.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
Yeah, I Drew, thank you for being our favorite Patreon
subscriber with the We're giving you the title mister Hangers
because you got long tits buddy, thank you say balls Nope,
Long tits like cool. I completely lost my train of thought.

(03:05):
I don't remember. I don't know it was gonna be
something good. Okay, Donnie Hampton old don Tello loved you
in the movie with a Giant Rap, but even more
excited to have you here. Donnie Hampton on the Patreon
feet of the Burhio podcast. We love you, buddy. Uh
You've even got one of my most favorite lunch meets
in your last name, so that means a lot. And

(03:27):
thank you for being here. Thank you for your contribution
to them delhi Isle to the club sandwich. Yeah, speaking
of club sandwiches in roast beef. Next, we got KK
twenty three. Oh second, what does that mean? I don't
know she got them got them hangers. I saw something
the other day out on the long tits. All right,

(03:50):
I think that I enjoy women with long lavias. I
think those are nice with the V with the V
killer V like the Mighty Ducks V. But that's not you, KK.
You're you're a friend of the show.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Like me, a good droopy uterus.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
I like something like speedbag if I get that blow
up like a whoopykushen. Yeah, thanks, KK, appreciate you. How
about I feel like this is another what is going on?
Robert to add to the fleet, We've got Robbie bitch
tits Adkins. He's really got long tits. Yeah, there's a
there's a tip theme going on here, got them long

(04:37):
boys owning datas. If you've ever fucked your cousin, send
us an email. Broyo Podcast at gmail dot com. I
know two people that are either like in a monot
like a monogamy, like they are essentially married to their
first cousin with them. Yeah, okay, it's really fucking weird, dude,

(04:59):
it is interesting, and they just won't hear anything about it.
Just they're just like an Ostrich in the rain. Just uh,
but that's not you. Robbie bitch tick, Robbie bitch tit
bitch tits Atkins, You're not marre to your cousin, are you? No?

Speaker 2 (05:13):
I don't know, hopefully not.

Speaker 1 (05:15):
Next we got wolf not butt but wolf butt butt
Blue thirteen. I'll love me some wolf butt, dude, wolf
butt s where's that? Did you see get that snatch
out of my cat's butt hole with a turd hanging
out of it earlier?

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Yeah, that'd save it for me.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
That cat jumped up in my lab. Yeah, a big
old fucking stinker hanging out. And I was like, that's
why people don't like cats. I know, man, they don't
know how to wipe their ass. They ship in the corner.
They don't care. But wolf Butt thirteen, thank you for
and this, uh, he's the last one of the week.
Mister Jorne stiff On. He's got some very interesting characters

(05:57):
in his name, Bjorn Bjorn Jorn. No, it's not delivery,
it's Yourn stiff On. He's clearly from another country and
he's trying to learn English, and I appreciate him using
us as a catalyst for his excellent English speaking abilities.

(06:18):
Oh yeah, we've talked. We had a lot of emails
over the years. Like I started listening to you guys young.
You taught me how to speak English.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I did, And that's crazy. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 (06:26):
Did you imagine going you know, you're you're living in
some fucking you're Bosnia or some Yugoslavia. Yeah, you finally
get a like a job interview here in the United States, right,
you know, Microsoft or something. They're like, oh, tell us
about yourself. Yeah, and you're like, I did all one thing.

Speaker 2 (06:48):
I don't have puffyed up balls.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Okay, all right, you learn English from two guys that
like they fucking strip copper from planes. Yeah, we look
like we're the these one of my gay uncles, they
teach me English. We look like those motherfuckers that won't
leave the wedding like the you know, like the whatever,

(07:13):
the after the thing after the wedding reception. Yeah, we
look like motherfuckers that won't leave the reception.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
Until there's no more fucking booze left.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
And you got a couple of extra boxes of wine
leafing over there, you know what, Gerald can put them away.
Southwest Airlines passengers stripped down and pooped in her seatman, flight,
Oh man, it's your seat. You paid for the ticket
and duty calls. But you're a shipped on an airplane.
I don't think I have you of all people. Yeah, man,

(07:47):
there is a reasonable expectation that you have shipped in
an airplane movie. Yeah you know what.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
That I can recall. No, I have not.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
I'm scared to flush the toilet in an airplane.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
Yeah, I've taken many of piss.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
It'll give you one of them pink socks. By do
you flip you inside out like a for sure, old
pair of jeans in the washer, right. I'm just scared,
like a fucking pigeon will fly into the toilet if
I flush it, or something can just fly that high.
I don't know, flushed at your turd sucks up a goose.
Oh I was reading one of our reviews today. This
is what I meant to say. It was yesterday or yeah,

(08:22):
I think it was yesterday, and said I'm ten minutes
in and all you've talked about is what it would
be like if you had nipples on your butt and
shitting their pants or going to the bathroom in their pants.
Not for me, moving on, nipples on your butt. We
apparently talked about this before. Oh man, I don't remember.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
That's fucking that's a great topic.

Speaker 1 (08:45):
I think I used to know a guy with nipples
on his butt. Oh shit, we call him nipple butt. Brian,
if you're listening, Brian, thanks buddy. A Southwest Airlines flight
was met by police and medical personnel in Chicago after
a female of course passenger reportedly stripped, neked, and defecated

(09:10):
on her seat mid flight, forcing the plane out of
service for cleaning.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
DAMN.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
Flight four one eight from Philadelphia to Chicago's Midway Airport
was already part of a turbulent stretch for Southwest Airlines,
which has faced a series of high profile disruptions, including
a recent engine fire in Houston. Chaos broke out on
board when a woman removed her clothes and defecated on
her seat during the flight, According to NBC Chicago. Southwest

(09:37):
their Airlines confirmed the law enforcement and medical teams met
the plane upon landing in Chicago respond to a situation
involving a customer. Our teams are reaching out to those
on board to apologize for the situation and it need
delays to their travel plans, the airline said a statement.
Nothing is more important Southwest than the safety of our

(09:58):
customers and employees, and we appreach ate the professionalism of
the flight crew affected travelers well. They were rebooked on
other flights through Southwest. Sorry those. Southwest has not said
whether refunds or compensation will be offered, You nasty bitch.
I guess it just depends on how bad it smells, right.
I mean, it's probably some people that didn't even know.

(10:21):
Can you imagine not knowing and then like you get done,
you get off the plane, and they're like Hey, we're
gonna give your money back because some ladies shit in
her seat.

Speaker 2 (10:28):
Hell yeah, dude, sweet any pretty sweet?

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Oh thanks, thank you so much? Like where she hadn't
want to shake her tit.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
I want to see I want to wipe ass before
we get off the plane.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
I want to see the poop.

Speaker 2 (10:45):
That would be us though he were like ship. I
want to know how what kind of turn a were
talking about. I want to know how upset I need
to be in the little tight coil?

Speaker 1 (10:56):
What was a puddly shit?

Speaker 2 (10:59):
What was this big flat for shit?

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Well, squirt, she just squirted, just a age, this a
little Hershey kiss, there's a little bloom bloom. Someone's at
your door. Oh that's ups with my I ordered another
Cincinnati app. Hell yeah, I can't have too many of those,
especially right now. It's for since he hat who is

(11:23):
a charity organization ran by Cincinnati Bengals Center Ted Carriss,
where he has raised millions of dollars for UH living
quarters for adults with developmental disabilities. Hell yeah, So what
he's doing is he's creating apartment complexes housing facilities for
adults with developmental disabilities. They are able to live and

(11:49):
thrive on their own thanks to the housing quarters being built.
Safe housing quarters being built. That's it makes it friendly
for them to live. They're they're set up in a
way that if a person adult people that are kind
of being left behind, you know, sure, And he's creating

(12:09):
these living quarters to allow these adults the freedom they deserve.
And it's thus since he hat dot Com, I've got
a bunch of their hats. I've got their tattoo on
my arm. I got their tattoo for free. And it's
a great organization. They're doing great stuff. They're actually building
They built one Indianapolis. Now they're building a facility in
Cincinnati for adults with developmental disabilities to live and thrive

(12:34):
be on their own. You know, just because you gotta
developmental disability doesn't mean you don't want to throw some
fucking pizza rolls in the air. Friar on Friday night
and jerk off and watch Netflix. Yeah, I started watching
Love on the Spectrum. Robert is fucking I'm trying to
pick out which one of those ladies I would take down.

(12:56):
That one is hornier than a dude. She only gets
hornier too. Man, I'm only on episode three or four. Oh,
it's great, man, She's awesome. For those of you maybe
looking for some kind of show to watch, just a
bit of a mind drain, these episodes are quick, thirty
or forty minutes. The television or the Netflix series Love

(13:16):
on the Spectrum. It's so good. It's one of the
most wonderful shows.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 (13:21):
I don't feel like I don't feel like the people
on there are being exploited. I feel like I am
seeing the happiest people on earth respond to experiencing love
for the first time, and I love it. I love
how excited they are to meet people. I love how
horny they are. In some instances. There's one girl named Abby.
They're putting her on a day. They're like, Abby likes

(13:43):
mermaids and going to the zoo and walks on the beach,
and I think they're whoever their parents? Who's her boyfriend?
Is it Mark or Mike? I don't remember. I don't remember.
And day you liked car Washes, I'm with Dave. I
think I really enjoyed car Watches. There's so many fun characters.
Like some they're just they're all like, they're all different

(14:06):
and they're so lovable. They are except for the dude
with the ramen noodle hair.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Fucking love James.

Speaker 1 (14:11):
James wears me the fuck out, dude. He fucking wears
me out, dude. I I I commend the people in
his life to love him because he wears me the
fuck out. He's crazy, man, He's They're like, are you
gonna split the bill with her? Are you gonna pay?

Speaker 5 (14:26):
He's like A, So I was thinking, and look in
this is in this society. It's it's very important for
it's very important for a woman to to be very
independent and maybe maybe pay for her own half of
the bill.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, lovable souls, dude. I I it's I can't recommend
it enough. And I don't feel like there's any exploitation
going on here. I feel like it's just dude. I
And today I came down here. You've got Tanner, who
I think we talked about him last week. Think I
talked about him lat week. He was just straight fucking
old and sunshinies.

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yeah, he's fucking love that guy.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
Yeah. I I'm so sick of just negativity and the
drains and the drags of the world.

Speaker 3 (15:11):
Man.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
And it's really been getting to me lately. Just uh,
I don't know. If I don't know, it has been
a rut. Yeah, and the world is the world sucks,
and that show brings me a lot of smiles, just
to see people that only see the joy in the beauty.
It's just wholesome, man, it's wholesome. Besides when they start kissing,

(15:33):
and that's that's a little bit too much for me.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
I gotta I was rocked up. I gotta do one
of these. I can't like.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Oh God, and they kiss, I want to step in
and teach it.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Hey, boy, spit in your mouth a little bit. It's
always so aggressive and so uncoordinated.

Speaker 1 (15:47):
Hack bea gonna get your neck bitten. Here's a quick
break for us from a few of our sponsors. Alrighty
love on the Spectrum, Baby, that's what they should name
this fucking podcast they speaking of on the Spectrum where
the broadcasters on the Spectrum.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
Hey, we got a true.

Speaker 1 (16:11):
Crime episode this evening. Yes, we're headed to the nineteen
eighties in North Carolina for a tale so twisted it
makes our old friend Jerry Springer seem like a just
like a Sunday school. Damn you remember Jerry Springer. I
do man Cincinnati's finest. I used to get dysentery and
stay home from school and watch that shit.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:32):
They had the like the unedited clips that you could
buy it like Blockbuster and shit. Yeah. That was always
a good to because I just like to see titties
when I was little. So when we were younger, you
could call one nine hundred numbers from payphones and you
could get the.

Speaker 2 (16:48):
It's like the shit you can't see on TV.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, And you could call these one nine hundred numbers
and shit. Yeah, And we used to call these sect
we go the payphone, like one nine hundred big tits
and shit, call these lines.

Speaker 2 (17:00):
Funny, that's enough numbers to fit big tits.

Speaker 4 (17:02):
One night hundred big tits, and then answer like thank
you for coming one nine hundred big tits.

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Hold on, we gotta get some. What's fucking great about
that is that there's no telling if the person has
big tits.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Because you're just talking to them.

Speaker 1 (17:22):
What are they supposed to do, like like type out
their fucking Morris code.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
How big their tits are? Oh shit, Oh that that
wasn't good. It's like the sound of death right there, buddy?

Speaker 1 (17:36):
Are we still we're still recording it looks like it
still on obs. Yeah, that was a chrome issue right there.
My computer just took up big old fucking dinosaur shit
gigantic babe. Oh you ain't gonna fucking good.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
Here we go, Oh, here we go.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
Thank you for calling one nine hundred big fucking tastes.
If it's you calling again, Nick, get your fat, greasy
fingers off that pain foot, because I'm gonna tell your
mom and dad that you're calling sex lines, that you're

(18:23):
trying to get your little pickle tickled by women over
the phone. We know you got a small penis.

Speaker 1 (18:35):
And we're not a fri. Sorry, I know you're allergic
to a good time.

Speaker 2 (18:41):
I'm orgery to get my tickle pickle.

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Didn't realize you needed a ben a drill. When we're
gonna start fucking having fun, Robert.

Speaker 2 (18:46):
To my tickle pickled pickle tickled. Oh shit, I felt
it coming, and I was like, oh God, I'm gonna
ruin it.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
I felt it come. Picture of this. It's a high
society southern bell okay, and a gun nut cousin with
a rambow fetish. Oh I got that in a custody
battle that ends with well, I'm gonna I'm gonna stop there.
I don't want to tell you what.

Speaker 2 (19:09):
It ends in all right, hopefully it's hot.

Speaker 1 (19:12):
We're gonna set the scene. So Winston Salem, North Carolina
in the nineteen seventies. It's all tobacco money.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Back then.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
I'm talking big hair and folks pretending they're class. Here
they're a pig and a tuxedo. Baby. The high they
head are closer to Jesus.

Speaker 2 (19:27):
Amen.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Mama came in with them curls she had. I said, Mama,
you got them curls, and she said, boy, I do
appreciate you finally starting to call me mama, even though
I'm only your step mama. And then I look.

Speaker 4 (19:43):
I lunched forwards and I grabbed on off pussy.

Speaker 2 (19:48):
I grabbed on on neck like a cat and heat.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
I said, I've been watching Love on the Spectrum and
I learned how to kiss Mama.

Speaker 2 (19:59):
I've got potato in my ass.

Speaker 1 (20:01):
Mama, if you've got a potato in your ass, please
direct message us. I think it's called your prostate on MySpace. Yep,
that's the fun nugget. It's the nuge.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
Send us a message on ask Jeeves.

Speaker 1 (20:17):
It's noug We're gonna meet Susie Newsom, our leading lady
in the story. She's a thirty something year old Southern male.
Probably got a nice Harriet Puss.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (20:30):
Yeah, nineteen seventies. It was not shaved, it was was
not knocked down. Yeah. Susie's family, well, they're in North
Carolina Royalty. Her dad Bob Newsom, he's a big shot
at R. J. Reynolds, the cigarette folks. And her aunt, Ye, well,
her aunt was Susie Sharp. She's the state's first female
Supreme Court justice. Wow, that's a top. That's top of

(20:53):
the email. Those food chains, those family gatherings, they were
one of those fath that family gathered. You know, you
were a poor Christmas when we were growing up. We
didn't buy for cousins and aunts and uncles and shiit wed.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Oh god da, you about threw it up.

Speaker 1 (21:11):
That's what's wrong with Elon. He've been drinking too many.
He's diet cokes. He's a fucking brain.

Speaker 2 (21:16):
Dad.

Speaker 1 (21:16):
I heard in your throat before it even came out. Yeah,
I got a barking frog in there saying hello. We
used to draw Thanksgiving time. We put the whole family's
names in a hat and he drew one person and
then at Christmas time, that's who you bought for, and
we had I had this really fucking grumpy uncle one year.
God rest is soul. He's dead and now, but I

(21:37):
got him and I went up to him. I was like, hey,
what are you thinking for Christmas? This motherfucker didn't talk
to me my entire life, and he just looked at me.
His teeth were always his gums were always bleeding, and
his teeth were always messed up, and he just looked
at me. He's like, I just want to be able

(21:57):
to cut stuff up. I said, okay, I was like
thirteen or fourteen. I have no idea, but he was
my dad's best friend growing up. He introduced and that's
how he met my aunt and he married my aunt.
So I asked my dad and I was like, I
got him for Christmas, and my Dad's like.

Speaker 2 (22:18):
It sucks years.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
I asked him what he wanted and then he said,
I just want something that cuts off up. My Dad's
like he's asking for a knife, maybe a chainsaw.

Speaker 4 (22:31):
It's very vague, but you can't give him a knife
because bad luck.

Speaker 1 (22:38):
I got an electric knife sharpener. Okay, for about twenty bucks. Yeah.
I never saw this man smile ever until I gave
him that electric knife sharpener. Man, very happy boy. Didn't
say thank you, didn't say Merry Christmas.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
He smiled though he shows you them bleeding gums.

Speaker 6 (22:55):
You look my bleeding guns, and then he's bleeding.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
Poor game. But Susie, you know she's got the charms,
She's got the smarts. She had a wake Forest degree,
she had a gorgeous smile. Beautiful. She was a face
that could sell you a butt plugger, well whatever she's
trying to sell you. And she was living the dream though.
She was married to a man named Tom Lynch. He

(23:26):
was a hot shot dentist with a jawnline sharper than
a fucking switch blade. Oh God, handsome boy.

Speaker 2 (23:34):
These are good like well to do people.

Speaker 1 (23:36):
Big thick cock on you, dude.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
They're marrying well to do all sin's good for.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
Them, powerful rich, all them money. They got a plantation
for tobacco. They got two adorable boys by the name
of Johnny and Jimmy, and a house, well, a house
that looked like something out of Better Homes and Gardens.
Life sweeter than Georgia's sweet tea. Maybe not, maybe not

(24:01):
and I'm lying about life being sweet because by nineteen
seventy nine the fairy Tale, it was troubling faster than
a gas station biscuit. Baby, I love gas station. That's
my fucking weakness, dude. I will eat anything from a
gas station.

Speaker 2 (24:17):
Gas station food. Yeah, dude, it's really fucking good.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
And no it's not good, but it's good. No, it's good. Yeah,
i'd say it's good for you. No, I'm not saying
it's taste. Yeah yeah yah yeah. I mean you know,
it's ass like it's low quality, but it's good. That's
like the sandwiches. I think I just enjoyed the convenience
of it.

Speaker 2 (24:37):
I kind of just like it. I kind of just
like it.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
We went to Cases, which is a local one popping
up around here the other day, and I, uh, my,
my problem is they you could take a bag of
dog shit. You could take a brown paper sack, fill
it full of human excrement, dog excrement and uh like
raccoon intestines, and take a magic not even magic mark,

(25:02):
take a crayon and write breakfast pizza on the outside
of it, and I'll eat all of it for sure,
just because I it's my quest much for you would
like to shit on in every toilet on Earth. I
would like to try every breakfast pizza on Earth. I
respect that I still can't find any breakfast pizza pizza.
The Rivals, the breakfast pizza that we had back in school.

(25:22):
I remember it came in like a rectangle. It was
big and puffy. There's just big old sausage nuggets on top.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
Yeah, the gravy, the sausage, the sausage, and the pepperonis
on those pizzas were like unparalleled. They're like just little
fucking nuggets.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
Didn't make any sense so good. It just had that
distinct taste. Yeah, it did, which is weird. But I
want a quest to find the perfect breakfast pizza. My
wife makes a good breakfast pizza. I got the one
from Casey's and it was a nacho cheese sauce. And
this is the first time I ever thought about driving
back to a gas station saying, hey, motherfucker, what is

(25:58):
what is this? This is disgusting.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
Yeah, you've eading from the sheets. Yeah, bro, good as fuck, dude.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
They got tacos man, Yeah, they're good.

Speaker 2 (26:07):
Their food is really good, really good.

Speaker 1 (26:10):
We got a lot we're getting a lot of those.
We're getting the bussies right down.

Speaker 2 (26:13):
The street, right down the street. Boy, that's gonna be rough.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
When that comes out all it's gonna be absolutely probably
won't be able to get into it.

Speaker 2 (26:19):
Honestly.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
We passed it the other day and it's fucking nuts.
There's so much. It's fucking huge. It is huge. It's huge,
and the people in that the people that live in
that area, I generally can't be around. So I don't
think I'll be able to go there, dude without committing
some type of violent act.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
It's gonna be nuts.

Speaker 1 (26:40):
So that couple here, Tom, her husband, well, he started
getting bored, Susan started. Susan started getting really bossy, and
their marriage it was kind of like it was it
was dead. There was no more love. They didn't treat
one another with respect. Uh. The kids kind of knew
it was coming. It was just a bad It was

(27:00):
a toxic cocktail. Tom started banging his dental assistant, classic
dental move, and Susie once she found out about that.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
They're always in someone's mouth.

Speaker 1 (27:14):
They were all bets were off man, and that kind
of they split. At that point in the divorce, it
gets fucking nastier than the taco bell fart, and I
had some of those. This taco bell down the road
used to be the best one around. Now it's the
worst one. That sucks. You're talking thirty forty minutes in
the drive. Fuck, that's rough. Oh it's maddening, brother, that sucks.

(27:36):
It sucks, especially whenever you just want a bean burrito
and a cheesy Gordita crunch. Yeah, and a and a
and a chili cheese burrito, and a and a order
of chips and cheese and a chicken case of dia

(27:58):
and uh By icy potatoes, soft taco and a Mexican pizza.
You like all that stuff, don't you.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
There's not a thing on the talk About menu that
I wouldn't.

Speaker 1 (28:10):
I know. That Fresco menu looks like somebody fucking chopped
up a whole entire family of tomatoes and put it
with some chicken.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
It's fucking the cantina. Oh dude, all the cantina ship.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
I'm gonna let I'm gonna let you guys in a
little secret. So it's sound like somebody's trying to break
into the studio. Yeah, the secret is I work near
King's Island, and I know, we have a lot of
listeners that live around that area. There's a Mexican restaurant
in Mason called Hiva l A j I A j

(28:49):
A I b A Hiba the Crab. It's a little
hole in the wall Mexican restaurant. But dude, they're not
open on Mondays. This is the by far and away,
the absolute best Mexican food that you could ever try.
And they're margarita's and more so more than their margarita's,
they're micheladas. Are just gorgeous. They're beautiful and they're delicious.

(29:14):
A margarito you'll be trying to suck a homeless dude's
dick in the parkt You'll be so fucking drunk after
drinking that margarita, just be out there like a like
a fire hydrant, whistling for a dog to piss on
it whatever. I don't know what people do when they
get super drunk like that, but that that restaurant, dude,
it is. It is divine and it's a little little

(29:34):
hole in the wall. They got about ten tables, but
they do it upright. Man.

Speaker 2 (29:39):
The Mexican restaurant has a really good margarita.

Speaker 1 (29:40):
That's a fucking that's a cell, Like, well, they soft
cell for me every time they serve a beef tongue
tacos and that you want to talk about the tenderest
mint on the entire cow.

Speaker 2 (29:52):
Yeah, that is interesting.

Speaker 1 (29:55):
It is so good. But they've got all kinds of
normal stuff off it, and the burritos are the size
of a small car.

Speaker 2 (30:00):
Nice, good good. I love that when when.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
They put the burrito down, you're like, Oh, there's no
fucking way, that's what you say. You're like, there's no
fucking way, but there's a way. I've only been able
to do it once, and I really put myself in
a bad situation. Uh So, Susie, she gets custody. They
they you know, they divorce, and she gets custody of
Johnny and Jimmy. But Tom, her her now ex husband.

(30:24):
He's living in Albuquerque after moving away from North Carolina.
He wants visitation rights with his kids.

Speaker 2 (30:32):
He's like, I just.

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Want to see my kids. I just want to see
my boys. Susie though she was a bit of a
fucking lunatic. He was paranoid, she was controlling. And this
is where it starts to get a little greasy, because
she starts to cozy up with her first cousin. Yeah,
her mom's son, her mom's sister's son. Fritz Klinner. What

(31:00):
a name, Fritz Clinner.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
And continent a chap.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
Yeah, that's like I said, there were first cousins and
this family tree is about to start going straight up.
Get what I'm saying ranching out anymore?

Speaker 3 (31:23):
So?

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Who is this fellow Fritz Kleinner? You may ask yourself.
Picture a dude who thinks he's half John Rambo half
James Bond, but looks like he might have gotten kicked
out of a Leonard skynerd cover band.

Speaker 2 (31:39):
That's awesome.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Give me back, mam mon, it give me back my monent.
That don't what I expected to be perfectly honest. There's
a lady at my work, lover to death, real sweetheart.

Speaker 3 (31:52):
She is.

Speaker 1 (31:56):
Through a family acquaintance, she has become very close to
the original drummer of Leonard Skinnered. His name is Artemis Pyle, Okay,
very southern name, sure. And she heard me listening to
Leonard Skinner one day and she's like, Nick, here, you
listening to Skinner? Do you like him? I love, honestly,
I like Leonard Skinner. They've just been in my life

(32:18):
for a long time. I don't like love them. If
I do like some of their songs that mean a
lot to me. My mom and I are first dance.
I'm sorry, my mother and I are dance at my
wedding was simple man, sure by shine down. Mama told me,
you know, and she's like, well, I know this guy
and he's been trying to he's like fucking eighty now.

(32:42):
And she's and she said, he's been trying to get
into my breeches for years. And I was like, you know,
the drummer from fucking Leonard Skinner, that's pretty cool. You
think we could get him on the show. And she's like, yeah,
I got a phone number. He'll do the podcast with
you guys.

Speaker 2 (32:54):
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (32:55):
I was like, you know what, the drummer from Leonard Skinner.
That might be a fun interview. Then I started researching
the guy. He got kicked out a man from molesting
two girls in a trailer park. Oh well shit, I said,
I don't want that motherfucker on my show. He's a
shit slimeball.

Speaker 2 (33:12):
Of course it was in a trailer park.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
Yeah, dude, can you imagine fucking being a musician that
was in Leonard Skinner and your fucking bitches in a
trailer park.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
The multitude of that's like disrespectful to yourself, not only.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
The multitude of women you could have, but the multitude
of women you could have, women that would like to
make bad choices. Yeah, right right, and you're chasing chasing
tail around the trailer park.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, they don't want to be chased.

Speaker 1 (33:38):
I got nothing for that, man, Nah, I ain't cool.
But Fritz Fritz is thirty two. He lives in Reidsville,
North Carolina, and he's Susie's first cousin, right, their moms
are sisters. His dad, doctor Fred Klinner, is a nutty
doctor obsessed with vitamin C. You know, he kind of

(34:00):
making claims of your vitamin C. You can cure cancer,
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get you a fucking tall glass of sunny the Light
and you can get rid of record colon cancer? Did
I fucking love juice? Orange juice is so good? I

(35:45):
love orange juice and sunny D.

Speaker 2 (35:47):
I feel like Sonny but orange juice.

Speaker 1 (35:49):
When I was a kid, they come out briefly with
sunny D with pineapple in it. Oh fuck me, God,
Oh my god. I used to beg my mom.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
I would cry for that, would cried a wail, what's wrong?

Speaker 1 (36:07):
Nick? Like I want de Zuni to light with pineapples
in it. I just I don't get emotional trying to
get I get that ship should walk up and put
a cigarette out of my neck? Wrong, Mom, Oh that's
your mom. Does this happened to your house? This might
have happened to your house. I feel like if I

(36:29):
would have made noises like that your house, they would
have put a cigarette out of my neck.

Speaker 2 (36:32):
Definitely would have.

Speaker 1 (36:33):
Fucking assholes.

Speaker 2 (36:34):
Yeah, shut your fat fucking friend up. We're trying to
watch Chuck Norris Walker Texas Ranger every night.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
Now, Fritz, he wanted to be a doctor too. But
here's the kicker. He's been faking it all along. He
wasn't really going to college. He wasn't really going to
med school.

Speaker 2 (36:56):
Uh never was.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
He never went to duke like everybody thought that he
was doing. They said, Oh, he's gonna be a doctor
like his daddy. This motherfucker just driving around for ten years.
They think he's been a duke for a better part
of ten twelve thirteen years. He has bought some tongue
depressors in a stethoscope. Yeah, I thought he was a doctor.
That's what it said that his career was basically him

(37:21):
playing dress up with a stethoscope.

Speaker 2 (37:23):
That's great. Good for him.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
He was just always hang out with like Doogie howser.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
Dude, just faked till you make it. Brother.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
Hell yeah, that's dirty pool man.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
That's funny as fucks.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
Instead, Uh, Fritz spends his days hoarding guns. That was
kind of his thing. He had fifteen rifles with around
thirty thousand rounds. Oh god, he had oozies, you name it.
And he also had everyone convinced, including himself, that he
was in fact a CIA operative. Yes I'm sure you're

(37:56):
aware at this point, but this dude is out here
telling people he's stopping immun as drug lords like he's
steam as gold. That was his thing. He thought. He's
on his quest from the US government to uh de
throne and removed communist drug lords that had infiltrated the

(38:16):
United States of America. Here, I'm getting rid of them. Boy,
Fritz got a vibe. He didn't have a bit of vibe.
It's screams I live in my mom's basement and jerk
off the soldier of Fortune magazine. He had Nazi books,

(38:39):
he had KKK pamphlets, and he had enough dynamite to
blow up multiple walmarts in his possession for no good reason.
What a piece of shit, Aside from the fact that
he was trying to take he was trying to take
down communist drug lords. But Susie, our fancy pants divorcee
that you will remember we were talking about lot earlier.
She was eating up. She said, yippy yippi, um young,

(39:03):
give me some of that tungue. He liked her cousin.
She said, boy, I never been turned on so much
by Cee. I a opative old daddy's curing cancer with
sunny delight. That's gonna get my butt wet. Well, a
woman write is to tell her, tell her she got

(39:25):
a wipe her butt before she gets so revved up
horny and she has to wipe her butt. That's pretty
not a man still waiting for a man to write
us and say, hey, I know, I know what you're
dealing with.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
Imagine getting old juice stuff like that to dripping down.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
To wall, squeezed this berry. Get the fucking juice out
of me. The black or the berry is sweeter the juice.
That's what Kanye said to his cousin. He will love
that juice handling it. Ye I don't believe a word
he says. I don't either.

Speaker 2 (39:58):
I don't either.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
He's so noxious and loud and noise. I wouldn't want
him sucking my dick, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (40:06):
I'm the greatest of sucking dick.

Speaker 1 (40:10):
I ain't saying see a gold digga. No, Kanye, get
out of here, dude. And plus me having three daughters
that worship Taylors. Matter of fact, I do these little
tests every once in a while, just to test the
test the temperature in the house. Yeah, I'll just put
fuck Taylor Swift. Usually the kids like we fucking hate you.

Speaker 2 (40:31):
That we hate you, Dad. You suck.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
But the other night I was like, fuck Taylor Swift.
Nobody said anything.

Speaker 2 (40:38):
I'm probably just getting used to you.

Speaker 1 (40:39):
Man, they're falling out of love with her. I said, oh,
you know, she hasn't released an album. She's not torn
all of a sudden. You guys want to defender right,
Say a word about some forty one. Say a freaking
word about Blink one A two. Say something about Scott's
stap and feel the back of your teeth hit the

(41:00):
back of your throat not doing it. I dare you
to fucking talk shit about Mark Tremanni where Paul Reid
Smith guitars? Oh God, but Susie, like I said, our

(41:24):
fancy pants divorce, she's eating up. She's falling deeply, madly
in love with her first cousin. By nineteen eighty, she's
back in North Carolina, living near Fritz, her cousin, and
they're getting a little way too close for cousins, Like
let's share a milkshaking bed kind of close. And I'm

(41:45):
talking they were definitely doing oral sex with one another.

Speaker 2 (41:50):
That's a little weird, man.

Speaker 1 (41:52):
Pretty sure they were having sex at this point.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Yeah, it's the forbidden fruit, right, I shouldn't fuck it.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
You're my cousin, but I just know how.

Speaker 2 (42:03):
I just know your dick will fit so good.

Speaker 1 (42:05):
I know you're my cousin, but I have been thinking
about y'all naked, buddy, and I can't stop thinking about it.
I grew up with your sister. I know she's got
a harry back, and I don't even know if you
got a harry back.

Speaker 2 (42:22):
You got your daddy's dick, for sure, got.

Speaker 6 (42:26):
Your daddy's double chin. Like the way your bottom lips
sunk in. Call my mom, Call my aunt, Call your mother,
call my aunt.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
I like the way your cliff lip fits perfectly in mind,
I told you, I got a couple of people in
my life that are fucking living with their cousins. One dude,
I'm comfortable enough with it. I'm like, hey, you're fucking
your cousin. Dude's weird, dude, and this guy will ignore
or me. I could solicit any advising. And if I said, dude,
I'm hard, like I'm going through you know, I'm sad.

(43:07):
I just can't I get you know, I can't get
over some stuff. He like, yeah, buddy, you know hear.
Sometimes you just gotta tell you. Day by day we're
just you know, we're all humans trying to do our best.
But the second I'm like, you're fucking your cousin. Not
a word out of him, not a word, oh ship,

(43:28):
And their bedroom is all like Bengal, like, uh, you know,
tiger stripe themed, and it's nasty, boy, it's nasty. It
smells like cousins fucking in there. You ever been in
a room after two cousins just got done beating fucking taters?
I can imagine it smells different than you know, if

(43:50):
regular coitus. Say, you say, I go in the room
after you and your wife just got done putting it down,
I say, God, damn boy, good for you. It smells
like a little bit, you know, like a almost like
a a fart. Some may have pissed a little bit,
so it was like farting pussing here, like you know,
you're you're, you're, you know, you're on your knees and
you're you're rolling around the bed. You may smells like

(44:11):
burnt hair a little bit. Yeah, but you walk into
a bedroom after two cousins just got done fucking, it
smells like a penguin enclosure at the zoo, like funions
and fucking chili. I'm flaming hot funions. Yeah, they got
these pizza flavored Cheetos. Now it smells like those Those
are disgusting. Yeah, I bet doesn't sound good. Don't you

(44:33):
ever talk about my cousin like that? Now, I know
what you're thinking. Nick, This is getting a little grossier.
But where's the murder patience, my friends? Because it's coming.
Susie and Fritz are about to turn their cousinly love
into a body count. They'll make your freaking headspin and

(44:56):
come home. The custody war at this point starts to
get a little little hairy, little bloody Disey's custody battle
with Tom, her ex husband, is turning into a full
on Karen meltdown with a vendetta. I don't like using
the word Karen, but that's kind of one of the
best ways to describe her. Sure she convinced, well, she

(45:23):
was convinced that Tom had lined up mafia hitman to
kill her, or maybe that she that he was utilizing
alien overlords to come for her children. She believed both
of these things. She's obviously nuttier in a fucking shit
house rat. That's okay, Yeah, Pritz, her cousin, her clam jammer,

(45:51):
her little boyfriend there, kissing cousin, kissing cousin, being the
fucking galaxy brain genius that he was. Well, he feeds
into her paranoia, he.

Speaker 4 (45:58):
Says, yeah, Susie, jus Darling, Tom's part of a global.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Conspiracy to take you out. And he his thing was,
we gotta protect Johnny and Jimmy, her sons that she
had full custody. We gotta protect the boys, and Susie.
She said, you know what, He's right. He's right because
he portrayed himself as a CIA operative. You got a

(46:26):
fake badge, all this shit. He was not to be
fucked with, right in all reality, this CIA badge you
probably got out of a crackerjack box or a tricky machine,
something like that. But by nineteen eighty four they're not
just cousins. They are partners and twisted missions to save

(46:48):
big bold letters, save the children by any means necessary.
And by this point they were hard fucking fucking tater slapping,
ball clapping, butt flapping, doing the do roll around the
mud like pigs. First up on their hit list was
Tom's family, which was the ex husband in Prospect, Kentucky, Kentucky.

(47:10):
Tom's mom, Dolores Lynch, Well, she's a sweet old woman,
sixty three years old. She's a grandma, but she was
bank rolling his custody fighting okay. Tom also had a
sister there in Kentucky by the name of Jane Lynch.
She's thirty nine years old, fresh out of dental school,

(47:31):
ready to live her best life. But on July twenty fourth,
nineteen eighty for somebody, Fritz, probably with Susie, riding shotguns,
show up at Dolores's house. Oh no, there was no
forced entry. There's two women living their quiet lives and
then bam, didn't even see it coming. Dolores gets a

(47:53):
bullet in the back and one in the head, military style.

Speaker 3 (47:57):
Damn.

Speaker 1 (47:58):
Janey frantic tries to crawl away to the phone, begging
for help when she is shot in the back and
the neck.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
It is cold, it is brutal, and it looked like.

Speaker 1 (48:09):
A professional hit. To the local authorities, Kentucky police, Well
they were stumped. No witnesses, no fingerprints, just a ballistics
report that will come back to bite our cousin Lovebirds.
A little later in this source.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
Did you pick up them shellcases? I was too busy
watching you kill that woman. My button was at MEACN
and I was so turned on. We gotta pull over
this Kentucky frod chicken.

Speaker 1 (48:40):
That's the epitome. Dude, have some KFC in Kentucky. After
a murder, after killing somebody.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
I feel like you work up a really good appetite.

Speaker 1 (48:50):
And this those fucking six hundred herbs and spices wherever
it is, a lot of them, all of them. Those
things will be hitting and every tastes bud my wife brawl.
I'm a bucket of KFC. The other day, I said,
what's this. She's like, I don't care. It's a bucket
of chicken. I said, God damn. It wasn't coming at
you for it, but just the way it's a bucketed

(49:11):
chicken rolled off her tongue. Yeah, it's a bucket of chicken.
Bucketed chicken.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
But not just any bucket of chicken. It's the bucket
of kitten, said.

Speaker 1 (49:20):
Fuck, fuck me up. Yeah, honey, butter biscuits right, it
was delicious.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Yeah with their coals law.

Speaker 1 (49:29):
You know there's a place right down the way called
the Melody.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
Yeah, yeah, it's it's really good.

Speaker 1 (49:34):
Ever since I've had their coals law, I can't eat
any other coastalaw in the entire world. I like There's
It's really sweet, sweet, really sweet. But I do like
Capsi's sweet like Susie's backside it I can't see and
Lees both have really good I like the chicken from
Les better than I like it from k Yeah, yeah,
I do too. Why Why why killed Dolores and Jane? Well?

(49:57):
The answer is simple. They're helping Tom get his kids.
They were bankrolling him, funding his his operation, which I
don't know why he needed it, considering a hot shot dentist. Ye,
Susie thinking, no Grandma, no problem. Fritz is probably just
like fucking I get to kill somebody, Okay, I'm happy,
another win for Agent Clinner. Fast forward to May of

(50:20):
nineteen eighty five. That's almost a whole year. Yeah, Fast
forward to May nineteen eighty five, almost a full year later.
Susie and Fritz are living their best cousin life. But
the custody war, well, it's heating up. Tom He's got
a court date on May twenty third to push for
more visitation and Susie's family that's right, her own flesh

(50:41):
and blood are siding with the ex husband. They said, Susie,
you you are wild, you are You're a lot, and
these kids they need better than you. That's why her parents,
Bob and Florence Newsom, are like Susie, chill, just let
Tom see the boys. Her dad, Bob, he's a sixty

(51:05):
five year old Remember he worked for R. J. Reynolds executive.
He was a big, big tobacco company. Her mom, Florence,
is sixty six years old and they live in Winston
Salem with Bob's eighty five year old mom, Hattie. On
May eighteenth, nineteen eighty five, Fritz decides it's time to
clean house. He recruits a twenty one year old dipshit

(51:28):
named Ian Perkins, who thinks, in fact, that Fritz is
a real CIA spook operative. Fritz tells the in they're
making out they're taking out communist drug traffickers for Uncle Sam,
and then Ian's like, you know, easily suaded by this.
He says, I'm fucking double seven. I get to go along.
I get to drive Fritz. I get to be the
getaway man. I get to take Fritz to the Newsome house. Well,

(51:51):
Fritz sneaks in to Susie's parents' house, and after that
is an absolute massacre. Bob gets shot, Florence gets shot
and stabbed, and she gets her throat slit like it's
a horror movie. The poor eighty five year old grandmother
or mother of Bob Hattie, she gets gunned down to

(52:14):
and the whole entire place is absolutely covered in blood,
dead bodies everywhere. Ian, still thinking he's in a mission impossible,
drops Fritz off and goes home to play Nintendo, clueless
that he is actually an accessory to a triple homicide.
Cops find the bodies and they know immediately that this

(52:35):
is no random hit. Bob was set to testify for
Tom just a few days later. So Bob was going
to testify for his ex son in law that, hey,
this guy deserves printal rights, he deserves custody because my
daughter is a fucking nut job. Not to mention she's

(52:58):
riding the cock of her cousin.

Speaker 2 (53:00):
Yeah, that's a big red flag there, and you're gonna.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
Start having babies with horns and shit kids with three winers.

Speaker 2 (53:09):
That's that's that's one too many.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
And they said, you know, Susie, after they said they
went to Susie. He said, we just we found your
mom and your dad and your grandma dead.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
She was like, oh no, oh no, what do you mean.

Speaker 1 (53:25):
Police took a note that hmmm, she does not seem
that upset all. She wasn't exactly crying. She wasn't necessarily
as upset as you would expect a person in that
position to be. But you gotta laugh at the audacity
here killing your own parents and grandma to win a
custody fight. That's fine, that's works some petty, even for

(53:47):
a fucking brainless cousin. Lovers, dude, is I've been thinking
all night about killing your grandma, and I think I'm
in love with her too.

Speaker 3 (53:59):
Now.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
They can't imagine living.

Speaker 1 (54:01):
It'd be eighty five years old living to all this
shit that you see, and then you get gunned down
by someone who fock's their cousin, who's in breeding and ship. Yeah,
what a way to go. That's how I'll go out.
We'll stop. You know, this podcast will stop and someone
in the fucking archives will find it listen to it.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
I fucked my cousin. What's wrong with that?

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (54:20):
You know, it's like fucking find us. Fuck you.

Speaker 4 (54:25):
You mayber this episode you made about be web sex
for coons. Well, I got something for you. It's a
bullet up your butt or love. Don't think you shot
us in the butt.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
Gotta be pissed.

Speaker 1 (54:37):
I got a good butt that would hurt, That would
hurt so bad?

Speaker 2 (54:41):
How bad that would hurt?

Speaker 3 (54:41):
It?

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Don't ruin my butt.

Speaker 1 (54:42):
Someone has bent you over and shot you in the
app It would kill you, but it wouldn't kill you
right away. Yeah yeah, just shoot you right in the asshole.
We would have got enough junk in or trunk, but
I don't think we would die. Oh, get rid of
my butthole on my fucking cumb dog. You help me
banage this someth hit my little fucking flavored nugget in
my button.

Speaker 2 (55:03):
I'm fucking spritzing everywhere. Ah ah.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
By June nineteen eighty five, just.

Speaker 2 (55:14):
Shot mychelli bean. Prepare for come, come in bound.

Speaker 1 (55:26):
If you've ever been shot in the butthole, send us
an email. Brohio Podcast at gmail dot com.

Speaker 2 (55:32):
Bye uh yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:33):
June nineteen eighty five. Just a month later, Well the
loll Johnny lall Kentucky.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
State please baby. Oh yeah.

Speaker 1 (55:40):
They were starting to circle like vultures on roadkill. Kentucky cops.
They linked Dolores and Janey's murders to a gun. That's
Susie and Fritz sold idiots. North Carolina detectives get Ian
Perkins to wear a wire and he spills Fritz's fake
see nonsense, And on June third, in Greensboro, North Carolina,

(56:06):
it all comes crashing down. Susie Fritz and the two boys,
Johnny and Jimmy, ten and only nine years old, respectively.
All right, Susan's apartment, loading a Chevy Blazer with camping gear,
guns and the casual half case of Itamite Jesus. Cops
from every agency imaginable, we're watching the scene. Forsyth County,

(56:30):
Greensboro PD, SBI, Kentucky State Police. We're all staked out,
ready to pounce on old fucking Fritz and Susie Fritz,
being the the ever panic buckstick that he was, he
spots the heat outside and he starts to lose his

(56:51):
freaking mind. He grabs a nine millimeter oozy and starts
springing bullets out the door like it's a Quentin Tarantino movie.
And he actually he wounded two cops, one merely killing
the guy. It was pretty bad. The guy was incapacitated.
He piles Susie and the boys into the blazer and
peels out and leads a slow speed chase on North

(57:15):
Carolina one fifty in Summerfield. I mean slow, slow chase.
I'm talking just in it. You got it in drive,
let and roll down the road. I mean it was
like a ten mile an hour. There was nothing going on, buddy,
and you expect a long drawn out police chase, and
that's not what we got here. Then it happens. Fritz

(57:37):
pulls over and as soon as he pulls over, kaboom,
the blazer explodes into a fireball on the side of
the highway. Oh my gosh, absolutely destroying the vehicle. Debris
rains down at the same moment, dark Cloud started rolling
and actually started a poor rain there. At the scene,

(58:00):
cops find Susie's body and a culvert I think I
read at one point it was like eighty or ninety
feet away from the old shit sit in there. They
found Fritz gurgling blood in a ditch before he actually
useduccumbed to his injuries. Johnny and Jimmy, the two boys
you asked, they were already dead. Autopsies show that they

(58:22):
likely died from cyanide poisoning and gunshots to the head,
likely from Susie or Fritz before the bomb went off.
That's crazy. So they killed their own kids to save that,
to save them, that's insane from being with their father,
who rightfully deserved time with while time with the kids.

(58:44):
Further investigation determined that the dynamite was under Susie's seat,
so either Fritz blew her up or they went out
together thinking there were some type of tragic Rambo Romeo
and James Bond Juliet bullshit. I don't know. So let's
tally the damage here. They had nine nine dead people.
Here you have Dolores and Janey in Kentucky, Bob Florence

(59:08):
and Hattie, which was Susie's mom and dad and parents
and grandparents in Winston Salem. Then you have Johnny and
Jimmy the kids. Then you have Susie and Fritz, and
the Blazer, Tom Lynch, the divorced husband, the poor dentist.
He loses his mom, his sister, his sons. Did he

(59:30):
That guy was put through the absolute buzz all that.
That's horrific what he went through because not only did
he lose his kids, but he right, you know, before
that he lost his sister and his mom. They still
hadn't figured out who did that. Susie's brother, Rob Newsom
loses his parents, his grandma, his sister, his nephews. That

(59:53):
guy was going through as well. I know, we didn't
talk about him very much in the episode. Ian Perkins,
the secret operative that helped Fritz, the wannabe spy. He
pled guilty to accessory to murder. He got four months
in probation is all he got because Fritz left behind
a note that said Ian was completely clueless as to

(01:00:14):
what was going on. Fritz's search warrant was conducted on
Fritz's house. It was a treasure trove, Like I said,
around fifteen rifles, thirty thousand rounds. There was dynamite, Nazi memorabilia,
KKK memorabilia, propaganda, trash, fucking disgusting shit.

Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
Gum of the Earth is.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
Like a militia art sale at that point. To this day,
you know, it's left a pretty pretty bad taste in
the mouth of North Carolinians. Bad story, mostly sad for
the kids that were involved. The poor nineteen year old

(01:00:59):
boys didn't see it coming. Man, that sucks. Dealing with
a bunch of couple couple freaking lunatics. Bad story. Nonetheless,
cousins fucking each other, that's pretty fun. Then there was

(01:01:21):
orange juice involved.

Speaker 2 (01:01:23):
Loves orange juice.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
A lot going on here, Yeah, a lot of dead people.
I love orange juice as much as the next guy.
But I don't think it needed to come to this. Yeah,
I agree. Now, we haven't done a true crime story
a little while, so I want to give you guys,
something pleasurable, something to wet your whistle, get you going.

(01:01:45):
I recently purchased some new work boots. I got red
back boots from Australia. I fucking hate breaking in works.

Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
It's brutal.

Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
I have to carry two pairs of shoes with you,
I was, I can't just keep them on. I bought
these boots stretchers on Amazon, and I got them today.
I got those things drank to the gills. It looks
like it looks like my boots have utters. I've got
those things expanded out so far. Looking on some Reddit forums,

(01:02:20):
they said I need to go get leather Honey, which
is a leather conditioner. Throw it on there. Helped stretch
it out. Leather honey is sold at your local AutoZone stores,
so that make my way around the corner and on
Now Dead and National gave me something of that leather honey, honey,
leather honey. Also, this evening, I will be having dinner

(01:02:41):
at Hairless hair Beautiful because they have blueberry cheesecake sour
beer on tap this week and there won't be a
day in my life that I will not have lemon.
I'm sorry, blueberr cheese. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be good.

Speaker 2 (01:03:01):
Let me know how that is. By.

Speaker 1 (01:03:03):
My daughter has a play tonight, so that's why we
kind of breathe through this episode. I know we usually
go a little longer than an hour or more, but
I gotta go watch my baby. She's just gotta lead
role on the play. Really excited to watch that. I
hope you guys have a wonderful week. Yep, we love you,
think the world of you, and we are gay, gonna
be gay and back here in just a few days.

Speaker 2 (01:03:23):
Love you guys. I want to see your