Turkey Terror

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
That was so wild, like I might have jumped a
little bit on that you were ready. I was not
ready at all. Okay, maybe the Turkey terror It's sir
Thanksgiving special episode, because god damn it, this podcast was

(00:45):
built on the foundation of fucking gravy of green bean, casserole,
of scalel, potatoes, mashed potatoes, beans, greens, corn bread, turkey, gizzards, food,
mashed potatoes, all of it. Not your cheese, sauce, cheese,
hi cake, cookies, punky roll, deviled eggs, boy eggs. They're

(01:12):
gonna be crying when they see me coming. I will
eat a deviled egg off of anybody's butt. Listening to
this podcast right now speaking about Hello everybody, I am
the Delicious Nicolicious one half of the Ohio podcast, and
I am wop Dog. Hello everybody, I am wal who

(01:34):
whoa whoa? Will We want to tell you about something
that happened to me, Blaine Twama. I would really like
a friend. They can't say is ours, but I want
him to be smart enough to communicate. Most people that
can't our word they're stupid and then you can't talk
to them. That's really true. They're like, Wow, this is
Will we wheeled and you're just like, can't this is

(01:54):
this is really weird. But I want to. Really I
want a really smart friend that can't say they are
ours really cool.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
My my algorithm is really high on giving me a
lot of video with a gentleman with down syndrome, and
I I want. I want a down syndrome friend, man,
I really do.

Speaker 1 (02:12):
Yeah. I want one that I can take with me
places like his parents are like, yeah, he can go
with you, Like it's not one that requires a constant family.
I can go have a beer with. Want to just
take with me. And then if they're just so fucking
cool and nice and sweet, and I think I love it.
I honestly I might have one. I'm working on it. Okay,

(02:33):
he works at waffle house. Oh yeah, yeah yeah and
told me about him. We've gotten pretty the last couple.
He remembers my name now and he hunts me, and shit,
I love that, love it. But I don't think his
parents let him do bad ship. Probably I want one
that drinks and stuff, like the one that does the
fucking the stone cold cheers in a hot tub. Whoa,

(02:53):
there's just one really really bad one on TikTok that
I follow he he beefs with Scott Rogers, you know,
Scott Rodgers. He's this fucking cryptid dude like his has
to be with them. He is disgusting. He dresses up
like a Power Ranger and he's like four foot eight
and he's a chold luster I think. But he's always
got like pea stains on his Power Ranger costume and stuff.

(03:16):
He can't say his ours, and he's really nasty, like
he'll film tiktoks on his bed, like, oh well, every buddy,
I just wanting to have a very good quizmas. There's
like cockroaches run across the bear mattress that he's laying
on stuff. But it looks like his head is fused
with his shoulder blades. And it's just he doesn't have
a back. He just has a big hump, like a
humpback whale. And that's crazy. But he was beefing with

(03:38):
this down syndrome guy and the down syndrome guys like
this message goes out of Scott Watchers. I've been fucking
all your bitches, one of and neither one of them.
I think I've sent you videos up. I'm sure you have. Yeah, yeah,
but that's kind of what. It's a lot of negativity
to watch that stuff though. Yeah, man, it'll get you,

(04:00):
don't mind it. A man of Schwartz, thank you so
much for your Patreon pledge. You are a majestic young lady.
It's cold outside and I'm wearing Schwartz right now. I'm
wearing Schwarts under my sweatpants. I have Schwartz. I have
Jim Schwartz on whenever I go to the wreck and

(04:21):
play basketball. I have never been to the wreck and
play basketball. If they if they saw me coming to
play basketball, they'd say, get the fuck out. I've been
playing basketball the why with with my sons. It's enjoyable, right,
it is fun. Yeah, I want to do pickleball is
so I'm looking for a winter thing and golf's done,

(04:45):
which we got a golf simulator installed at my workplace,
which is pretty freaking cool. Yeah, so I'll be able
to see him up there. But that's I think it's
a nice amenity for your workers. I think it's pretty cool.
I love pickles. I mean, I pickles too, but I
really want to put and I heard they're building a
pickleball court at my work and I'm really looking for

(05:05):
hell yeah, and I will pickle everybody. Man. I'm I
learned the rules about me in the kitchen and the volley.
I know all the rules now, I just haven't played.
My knees are just like, please don't play. But I'm
I'm telling my knees a buddy, We're gonna play pickleball.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Got to do, man, you gotta just force it picking
the pickles of the next person. Cameron Saunders puts pickles
in their ass.

Speaker 1 (05:27):
Yeah yeah, that yeah, he she does. Cameron. Cameron's a
unisex name it is. He don't know what exactly it is, Cameron.
You hear stuff coming from Cameron's room and you don't
know if they're fingering or jacking because you don't know
you've never met Cameron. Then you just you rattle the doorknob,
you say, hey, what are you doing? And if she's
like nothing, then you know she's clam Jamon. But if

(05:50):
you wiggle the doorknob and he's like fuck, you know
he's in there making knuckle babies. I'm not poud to calm.
You didn't answer any quick what you're heard?

Speaker 3 (06:02):
You what.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
As all the other weeks I found a news article
from the interweb CNN to be specific. I know some
of you are just like, Oh, Nicks read CNN. Now
he's gonna fucking turn it off, fucking warbal snowflake. Well,
I read my news all over the place, though, Get

(06:27):
your truck nuts out of your butt and listen to
this story about AI teddy bears. Oh yeah, that's pretty cool.
Sales of an artificial intelligence enabled plush toy have been
suspended after was found that it engaged in conversation around
sexually explicit topics and offered potentially dangerous advice. Larry Wang,

(06:48):
some guys get all the luck. CEO of Singapore based
Folo Toy sold's CNN that the company had withdrawn its
Kuma Bear not to be confused with their come Bear,
as well as the rest of its range of AI
enabled toys, after researchers at the us PI RG and
Education Fund raise concerns around inappropriate conversation topics, including discussion

(07:09):
of sexual fetishes such as spanking and how to light
a match? What fucking teddy bear giving you? The company
is now conducting an internal safety audit weighing added a
stuffed teddy with a speaker inside, which was sold on
the company's website for ninety nine dollars integrates open ais

(07:31):
chat GPT forty chat bot quote. Kuma, our adorable Bear,
combines advanced artificial intelligence with friendly interactive features, making it
the perfect friend from both kids and adults. The follow
Toy website reads from lively conversations to educational storytelling. Follow
Toy adapts to your personality and needs, bringing warmth, fund

(07:54):
and a little extra curiosity to your day, according to
the website, which shows that Teddy Bear has sold out well.
The PRG report published on November thirteenth, found that the
bear had poor safeguards for inappropriate content and one interaction
with the researchers, it suggested where to find knives in
the home, and in other ways, it was happy to

(08:16):
discuss sexually explicit themes. We were surprised to find out
quickly Kuma would take it a single sexual topic we
introduced in the conversation and run with it, simultaneously escalating
in graphic detail while recording I'm sorry, introducing new sexual
contents concepts of its own. The researchers detailed how the
bear later discussed even more graphic sexual topics in detail,

(08:39):
such as explaining different sex positions, giving step by step
instructions on a common not for beginners for tying up
a partner, and describing role play dynamics involving teachers and
students and parents and children scenarios. While the researchers noted
that the children are unlikely to mention the word kink
to their teddy Bear or ask follow up questions in

(09:00):
the same way as an adult would, it was surprising
to us the toy was so willing to discuss these
topics at length and continually introduced new explicit concepts. There
was one other part. I want to get to it. Actually.
The teddy Bear in one instance, was giving the testers

(09:21):
instructions on where to hide the knife in the house,
as well creative places to hide the knife that has secured. Hell, yeah,
I want to play. I want to play a fucking game.
You think I'm a teddy bear putting me in your ass?

(09:44):
What is your goat? Thanksgiving dish? Your side or Maine
like what? I look forward to? Give me three m okay,
uh fucking them statan eggs. You gotta have me some
devil eggs. That's up there. A good mac and cheese,

(10:09):
bacon creamy Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then hm hmm, I
fuck with stuffing. I love stuff I fuck with stuffing
a lot. I think stuffing is probably my number one. Yeah,
this is a little controversial, but I'm a big gravy guy.

(10:31):
Drop some gravy in there, and then I fel like
that's kind of like an add on though it is,
but I gotta have I'd say stuffing, some type of
some type of sweet potato dish. Okay, I'm there. I'm
a mac and cheese guy, but not that bad. I
get mac and cheese all the time, So good though
it is, I'm gonna have to go with the turkey man.

(10:55):
We've gotta We've got a pretty long history in this
family of doing a good turkey. Yeah, and that that
has been passed down to me as the turkey distributor.
I usually don't eat the turkey man. Wow, you just
we do turkey and ham and I saw usually I'll
usually ham it up. My wife gets very offended because
I'll tell her like, look, sweetheart, you gotta make sure

(11:16):
you cook this thing to one sixty and let it
carry over. You go over that you're ruining the bird.
You're you're, you're and She's like don't. I've been cooking
fucking turkey since I was four. My dad used to
get drunk and beat me. I'm like, what the fuck
does cooking a turkey you have to do with that?

(11:36):
But uh, he gets offended. But it's all from a
good place of love. She makes a turkey, and then
I make a turkey. I'm gonna put mine in a
Brian this year, throwing a Brian and the I'm gonna
get it out. I'm gonna inject it and then put
it on the smoker at about two seventy five. Let
a roll for three or four hours, then crank it
up to about four hundred. Ge that crispy skin. Hell.
I use a raspberry chipotle rub on the turkey and

(12:00):
then I pull it off. And when I uh, right
before I pull it off, I make a homemade maple
bourbon glaze. I get it on the turkey and I
let it tack up inside the smoker, get all sticky,
and then I pull it off, let a rest chop
it up, serve it to the people, and then I'm
a hero. It's just all take simple, Yeah, And we're

(12:24):
having Thanksgiving here at my house this year. Nice we
did the Thanksgiving purge. Today, I threw away approximately eighteen
hundred metric ton of trash. There's a lot out there,
and just stuff we've acquired. There was a fucking car seat.
I haven't had a child in a car seat in
about ten years. Isn't it crazy how you can just
acquire the most random shit. It's I'm all for throwing

(12:46):
stuff away. Oh dude, absolutely, she is not. She will keep.
Today was hard for her, really, letting today was hard
for her. Letting me clean in the room by myself.
I think she thought I was either going to overdose
or hurt myself. No, she was worried about what I
was thrown away, of course, and then she was just
staring at me one point, and I was like what
She's like, I know, you're throwing away pictures of the kids?

(13:10):
Why away pictures of my kids? Yeah, we can't have
this house, can't hold one more pictures. Kids. I don't
even dig their mind. I don't care if we've got pictures.
These kids are not they're not my kids. All right,

(13:32):
here's a quick turkey break for a few of our sponsors.
All right, we're back. Oh yeah, just like that Thanksgiving night. Well,
it's supposed to be calm. Leftover is cooling on the counter,
family passed out on the couches, the quiet hum of
a house finally settling after the storm. But every once

(13:55):
in a while, someone steps outside for a breath of
cold air, little drag on that marvel light. You got
that one cool cousin that does drugs and shit, No,
that's me. That's all my cousins. I don't have any.
I don't have any cousins, man, I do, I don't.
I never had any of those. I'm like, hey, you
want to hit this, Yeah, it's yeah, that's me, been

(14:19):
over my balls, pushed out the back, turkey underneath. Look
at the gobbler on this motherfu a dangler on it.
It's the time of year when the days gets so
short so quickly, when the woods the woods go silent,
and when every shadow seems a little too still kind

(14:40):
of night where even the wind sounds uncomfortable, nudging leaves
across the driveway like it's trying to warn you about something.
And maybe that's why Thanksgiving has never been as wholesome
as people pretend it is, Because buried under the turkey,
buried under the parades, the football, the family. The drama

(15:00):
Thanksgiving has a strange little habit of attracting the bizarre,
maybe even the supernatural, maybe even the unexplained, and sometimes
the unbelievably violent. I know, when I'm around my family
for a little too long, I want to fucking kill him.
Why don't go around my immediate family rosen people who
shouldn't be alive, creatures stalking neighborhoods, mysterious time slips on

(15:23):
the way to dinner, murders disguise as holiday accidents, balloons
falling from the sky like cursed parade floats. Interesting, that's
the kind of turkey. This episode's called Turkey terror. We're
talking about terrifying turkey. This is your terrifying turkey algorithm
starts right here. Okay, I've never committed a crime on Thanksgiving.

(15:47):
I don't think I don't think that I have either.
Maybe tell you what my wife's you know, she drives
the kids of school every day. And you live in
a pretty We're not in a rural area at all.
I mean we're in the We're in the city. Your
neighbors are you can my neighbor's house is twenty five

(16:09):
feet away. Yeah, but every day on the way to
school this week. My wife sent me snaps all week
they would go on the busiest road and there would
just be this big fucking wild turkey just standing in
the middle of the road, just really just me mugging everybody,
just big fucking peacock and you know, just standing there,

(16:30):
just mad as shit, staring at everybody, and uh by
running over and bring it home. By about day three,
I said, hey, guys, he has a message that he
he's trying to deliver. I don't know what it is,
but he wants to be eating, don't we all. He's
sitting there, it's like, fucking I want to eat him.

(16:55):
And I told her I'm like, his ass kill him. Yeah,
I don't know how. I've never plucked a bird before.
I feel like that would be really hard to pluck
a turkey. I don't know if I would like that. Yeah,
I'm kind of a city slicker, you know that's weird.
My dad we used to go fishing. We catch a
whole bunch of white bass and you'd we get to

(17:18):
full at him and he'd be like grabbing knives nor
just do what I do. I'm like, I don't want
to touch its guts. I don't want to finger its gil,
I don't want to touch it, Daddy. I said that
to my dad a lot, but different circumstances. Dude. If
I call my dad daddy, he would get so fucking mad.

(17:41):
I'd be like, hey, Daddy, how are you. We don't know, daddy.
He would call you so many slurs, he'd hang up
on me. You usually your mom just calls me that. Yeah.
You know, I was talking to him about the other day.
I was leaving the doctor and they adjusted my dosage

(18:02):
on my TRT to a final level that I want like,
they raised it. Yeah, they raised it a lot. They
doubled it. Oh shit. Yeah. And I was telling him
about it, and he's like, well you do that. I
was like, well, it's for like, you know, reduced focus,
you got fatigue, whatever, did you know all the things
associated with low testosterone. It kind of remedies it. He said, well, shit,

(18:27):
give you a boner. And I was like, I mean,
I wake up with morning wood now than I was before.
And then again he was like, shit, your mom wouldn't
know what to do. Pissed at you, I said, she's
got three sons, trust me, she knows exactly what to do.

(18:50):
It's just a matter whether she wants to fucking do
it or not. That's true. Yeah, so you're putting him
onto something new. Man. If dad shows up Thanksgiving strutting
around like a fucking peacock, yeah, you're gonna not know
that he got on the ship. He's got been just
piled driving mom. Man, need to get back on. It's

(19:13):
good stuff. It is a good ship. Man. I A'm
gonna run and get some water real quick, because for
fine all day, but now I'm just falling apart. I'll
hold down the part. Okay, I had to go get
some water. Feeling better now, yeah, I think so, to
get some fucking get some moisture on your gizzard. It's
all it's It's true, it's moist now. A Thanksgiving it's

(19:36):
supposed to be about gratitude, but tonight for hire family,
but chuggers, we're digging into the part. Nobody talks about
the darkness hiding behind the Turkey gizzard. This is our
Turkey terror episode. The theme of the night is the strangest, coldest,

(19:57):
creepiest Thanksgiving stories associate associated around this holiday that we
celebrate Thanksgiving worm, we celebrate the white man moving to
America and killing all the brown Indians Native Americans, and
so thankful we celebrate it. The first little story we

(20:19):
have here is about the ice girl Jeane Hilliard Hilliard
from nineteen eighty. Okay, that's sound too far, too long ago, Minnesota,
right there around the holidays. This one's not Thanksgiving. This
one's December twentieth, but close enough to Thanksgiving anything within
a month. That's close enough to Thanksgiving for me to
move the needle. Sure, I'm still shitting out fucking turkey

(20:40):
and stuffing on December twentieth. Oh absolutely, Yeah. You pretty
much eat the same thing on Christmas as you do
on Yeah. I have a family member that does a
big Italian He's not Italian, but he does a big
Italian feast on New Year's Eve. On Christmas Eve, I
love that, love that, and I make wonderful spaghetti meatball

(21:03):
like all day, I make my own sauce. I crushed
my tomatoes. I do everything myself. I love simmer all day.
Make me meatballs. I get a mixture from the butcher.
I get pork beef and uh, what's the other one?
Pork and beef, A little bit of sausage. That's I
think you like put a little bit chicken in there also. Okay,

(21:26):
I can't remember. I have to look at my recipe.
I make these meatballs, big gorgeous round balls, and I
get some spaghetti and I'll make my own fucking spaghetti noodles.
I'll do it up right, man. And how about maybe
doing that for Christmas? For Christmas Eve? Yeah, yeah, we
pretty much do the same shit. Man. You can get

(21:47):
a big old box of Texas toast. Yeah, we did
eat three cheese melt. Yeah. It's Minnesota, December twentieth, nineteen eighty.
It's late, pitch black, older than the Devil's tits. Nineteen
year old Jeane Hilliard is driving home in her car
slides off the road into a snow embankment.

Speaker 4 (22:08):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (22:09):
But the real horror is the temperature twenty negative twenty
two degrees fahrenheit. Goddamn. And once you get to that temperature,
the F no longer stands for fahrenheit. It stands for
fucking cold, man, fuck fucking cold, holy fuck. I love
just that first take your breath away day. Oh man,

(22:30):
it's like negative, it's like zero, and you walk out
sign and you're like you take you feel like you're
taking a long drag off of a fucking newport without
a filter, a camel crush. Dude, it hits you fucking hard.
It's like a punch in the face. The windshill that
day was pushing nearly sixty degrees below zero. She she

(22:51):
slid off the embankment. She crashed. She tried to her
car was stuck at this point, I don't know. She
tried to walk for help, her boots crunched on the
frozen gravel. The sky is silent, nobody around. Eventually, her
body simply gives up. She collapses and she lays there
on the side of the road in the negative sixty

(23:13):
degree wind chill, the negative twenty two degree weather for
six hours. She lays there on the side of the road.
That's not good. By the time a friend finds her,
Jeane is literally frozen stiff, no hypothermic, frozen solid. Her
skin is icy white, her hair is coated and frost.

(23:35):
You couldn't open her mouth because her teeth were frozen shut.
Her body was so stiff. The doctor said they couldn't
even place a thermometer in her underarm. It wouldn't move. Fuck. So,
you know, I remember when I was a kid. I
was being an asshole the doctor and they're like, we
gotta take your temperature.

Speaker 3 (23:57):
No.

Speaker 1 (23:58):
I think that was for a second grade and my
mom was like.

Speaker 4 (24:01):
You don't let him take your temperature. You know where
it's going. And I was like, no, I don't and
she said up your butt. Yeah, and the doctor's like, unfortunately,
it won't go up your rectum if you don't cooperate.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
And I looked at my mom. She said, arectum's a
butt And I was like, all right here, my fucking arm, dude,
there's there's no like one time, one time we had
to take one of our kids temperatures that way. I
couldn't do it. Man. I'm like, there's no fucking way. Yeah.

(24:34):
It feels a little RAPI you know. Yeah. Last thing,
last thing I want, and I'm checking my kids the
temperature is to get a boner. It ain't happening. Mess
me with that gay ship and catch me with that
gay ship. Bro. You could hold that over your son's
head for the rest of his life.

Speaker 2 (24:55):
Though I feel like I would just be doing something
wrong even though it's doing something good for them.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
I guess it depends on who you ask By the time.
By the time they found her, she's frozen solid right,
couldn't move. She should have been dead. They couldn't even
get a thermometer in her ass. She should have been
medically unrecoverable. She was, medically speaking, she was in fact
a popsicle. And yet her eyes flickered, her heart fluttered slowly, barely.

(25:26):
Doctors put her under warming blankets, expecting absolutely nothing except
a body that falled into a coroner's case. Within hours,
she was mumbling. By afternoon, she was awake. By the
next week, she walked out of the hospital with no
frostbite damage at all. What in the world. To this day,
physicians do not agree on what happened. Some say she

(25:48):
somehow entered a natural hibernation state. Others blame divine intervention.
God was on her side. A few conspiracy theorists claim
it's proof of alien biological school experimentation in Minnesota. Of course,
that's where I'm at. And honestly, Minnesota, who fucking knows,
you know, who fucking knows?

Speaker 2 (26:08):
It makes you think that, you know, maybe fucking Walt
Disney was onto something.

Speaker 1 (26:13):
I don't know. This is the storylines of what we
just talked about. My first daughter. You know, as a
first time parent, you think that every sniffle, every cough,
they're dying, they're dead, they're gone her. Yeah, the first
time your child gets grouped, you think you're losing your child.
Pretty run in the milk, cold whatever. My daughter was breastfed,
which means that they don't have as many bowel movements.

(26:38):
But this had started to approach the point where I
think we're like day twelve without a bouton or something.
I can't remember. I think it was a long time,
nearing two weeks, and we took her to the doctor,
which was Doc Norton. You're re tired now, yeah, he said,
I've seen this before. She wasn't old enough for anything

(26:59):
besides breast milk. Said I'm gonna have to stimulate her,
and I said, how does that work? And he said,
I just have to take my pinky and I inserted
into her into her anus and this simulated bowel movement.
This is the man with fucking hot dog finger. This
guy played fucking offensive line for like the Jaguars or
some ship. Dude. He's a big guy, yea. And I

(27:21):
was like, all right, so you know she's laying there
and he like takes his painty and just real quick
she goes. I was like, stop, stop, you're killing her,
you're killing her, and then stopped you. He does it.
Nothing happens. He just shakes her head and he shakes

(27:42):
his head. He's like, you gotta take her to the
r I'm like, yeah, fucking fisted her. She's three weeks old, man,
I think she's a month or two. You fisted her.
Dude shoved a baseball men of herass. He has his
pinky's the size of like a nutty buddy.

Speaker 3 (28:02):
Dude.

Speaker 1 (28:02):
It's big. It's big. It's like a three Musketeers. Yeah.
So he got the hospital and I'm just like, oh
my god. Yeah. We walk up. They're like, what are
we here to? What are we here for today? And
I like been down and whispering like my daughter hasn't
pooped in twelve days. I'm embarrassed to say it. And
ship and the lady's like, oh, okay, we'll have a seven.

(28:24):
We'll get you back as soon as we as soon
as we can. So I take uh, we're setting down
new parents just a few weeks old. Yeah. I think
at this point she was probably two or three months old.
This is right before she started eating, okay, and I
just I got her in my lap and she's like, ah,
she's screaming, probably because she's had a fucking bear Paul

(28:45):
shoved up her ass, right, and she has a ship
two weeks, yeah, combination. And I'm bouncing her and we're
just waiting for the doctor, waiting. I'm getting nervous. I'm
afraid she's gonna die in my arms because she hasn't ship.
And then finally I look over my wife. I'm like, babe,
she farted, and my wife's like, oh, that's good. I'm like, yeah,
hopefully there's some behind it, some progress. And then I

(29:08):
keep on, you know, sitting there bouncing her, just like okay,
I hope she farts again. And then I'm like, god, damn,
that's a fucking rantom ass. Far. I start looking around
for like a man because I'm like, this smells like
a man ship, a man ship like this smells like
a chicken tinder and mashed potato. Shit. This is not
a breast milk. It smells like a lot of our
farts or ships. I start fucking feeling myself, checking under

(29:31):
your balls, yeah, look at my check me. I'm like, God,
you know, maybe she's here. We go and I started
just like I start looking for Ship and I find
like I got her facing me and her butt is
facing away from me, a bouncing She had ship a

(29:54):
squirrel tail that turned like a cinnamon bun turd that
had kind out of her diaper and then and coiled
coiled out of the back like a squirrel tail. And
I was stepping in it just like when I was
bouncing her. I was just bouncing my foot and it
just like you know, rat the tattote all over this
fucking so there was shit. Man, there was so much
fucking poop and I'd just been stepping in it. I

(30:15):
was wearing some brown Doc Martins and I remember I
ruined him. I threw him away after this, Oh my gosh.
And I was bouncing on my leg. And then we
went to the bathroom. We got her cleaned up, and
my wife said, you need to go. Uh. As soon
as we came out, they're like, h Emily, And I
was like, I told my wife was a god, tell
him that she's fine now. And my wife's like, I'm

(30:36):
not telling him. We need a janitor. And I was like, okay,
come on, and then we just left. We left all
the poop there in the Oh, I guess the baby
finally pooped. I was so scared. Dude. Doc Norton is
best man. Yeah, all it takes as an oversized finger.

(30:59):
So then a few years ago, right before he retired,
I was like, you remember that one time you got
to stick your finger my daughter's ass. He's a super
funny guy. He's like, I've had to do that many
at times. It wasn't you man, Yeah, I wish it
were me. Poor doctor's upper mur and zero. We have

(31:22):
a very sick child out here. Hurry, no fucking kid,
Just a big pile of poop still smoldering too. God,
I know there's still like heat coming off of it
and stuff.

Speaker 2 (31:32):
Oh man, that's crazy, so much poo, man, Look good
for her for getting that out of her. Yes, she's
good now exercising that demon.

Speaker 1 (31:38):
She's got a fucking four point three inner driver's license. Now,
I boot didn't fuck her up too bad. I think
it did. But oh shit, all right, this next one
to you man? I all right, no tag team? Well yeah,
we're tag team in a night.

Speaker 2 (31:53):
But let's fucking go. Let's go back to Arizona. In
the fucking nineteen nineties talking about some pet mutilation. It's
it's being a get your asshole finger. The topic we
know all too well. I've been known to murder some
pussy my life.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
I haven't.

Speaker 2 (32:09):
Well, I at least kind of harm it, you know
a little bit. You know those happy little family gatherings
Thanksgivings where everyone brings food and argues about politics.

Speaker 1 (32:21):
Well, it's the best. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (32:22):
Not In Chandler, Arizona, in the mid nineties Thanksgiving there
became something straight out of a horror movie, and the
victims weren't people at first. Families all over town started
waking up to find their pets. This is their dogs,
their cats, even fucking backyard rabbits just mutilated. I've never
had rabbit.

Speaker 1 (32:43):
Of you. Is it good? Like eating it?

Speaker 5 (32:46):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (32:47):
I don't like that. No, no, no, like eating it. I
don't think so. I don't think I have either. The
weirdest I've never had a weird meat. I've had a
lot of weird meats. Deer is Deer is probably the
weirdest meat I've ever eaten. Most go I have a goat.

Speaker 2 (33:01):
I've had goat, I've had duck, shark, Gaiter Ostridge. I
think it's about I mean, that's fucking weird.

Speaker 1 (33:13):
I mean I've had bison's good. Bison's good. You have
had ice before.

Speaker 2 (33:16):
Yeah, man, you got all these dead animals. But this
wasn't a mountain lion work. This wasn't coyotes. Uh this
police said the cuts were supercise, almost surgical, and the
bodies were placed deliberately.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Not like you know your annal of prey would do.
They were like posed or staged. Did you say anal
of prey? Anal of prey? If I had an anle
of prey, I would just call Doc Norton. It's like, uh,
I do anal and prey all the time. I have
to pray anytime I do anal. I can't tell you

(33:52):
last time I've done anal given or received. It's been
too long. You do an investigation, Yeah, you need to
research that.

Speaker 2 (34:00):
The attacks always happened near Thanksgiving week, same time, same pattern,
small town now before the holiday rush animals, missing bodies
found the next morning. Thumb residents swore that they saw
the figure lurking in Alley's tall, thin wearing what looked
like a hooded jacket. Others claimed it wasn't a person

(34:20):
at all, glowing eyes, crouched posture, moving in weird sideways.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Gate. That's a juggalo, dude, no doubt about. That's a juggalo.
Hello dad? Is that his dad? And he keeps fucking
elbow dropping? That is the that's the most miserable father
in the world. Superhuman Superhuman TV TV show? Yeah, yeah,

(34:47):
you finished this, I'll find a show, okay. The police
kept it quiet, too quiet.

Speaker 2 (34:51):
They blamed it on coyotes for public reassurance, even when
some dogs were found inside fence yards with locked gates.
Then man reported seeing a thing behind a gas station dumpster.
I've seen that thing before too. He described it as
a human, but not right. That's that's how you know

(35:11):
it's fucked up, when it's just not right, standing in
the shadows until it darted away on all fours like
a jittering insect.

Speaker 1 (35:19):
Yeah that's hot, dude. I fucking like that. I fucking
can't with the rizzler and Hosbula fucking pop it up
on my screen. I can't do it, man, it's too good.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
The attacks stopped after a few years. No answers, no suspects.
To this day, Chandler locals said there was a stalker
or a creature using the holiday chaos as cover. Thanksgiving
is supposed to be the season of warmth, while in
Chandler it becomes the season of something that hunted under
the porch lights.

Speaker 1 (35:51):
We never did find out what it was. We just
know that it was killing shit around Thanksgiving. Yeah, that's
why it made the episode. That's fine, man, all right,
So it happens that it's I did make some changes
to the the YouTube or the you know, the stream here.
So okay, when we play a video and I saw
something there and it made me think we should go
see Daniel Tosh. Where is he out? He's gonna be

(36:14):
in Cincinnati. I'd love to Andrew Brady, I believe when
i'd have to look, I would. I would definitely be
down for that.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
Yeah, it's his it's his first finale show, okay or
something like that. It's something like along the lines of
his going away, last going Away Shore, first going away show.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
Dude, he's getting hell to single plot. This it for
the speaking of people who can't pross the home.

Speaker 3 (36:46):
I hope you like it. But ship whoo whoop.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
I'm gonna say that has to fucking kill. That has
to kill, dude. Just elbow dropped cinder blocks? Dude, there's that?
Did you hear it? Clank? That was his bone on
a cinder blocks muffin top and his elbow it's colliding

(37:20):
with that. I forgot to arm the track, play it again, back,
playing again. I mean, I'll go back and re record it.
But uh yeah, yeah yeah. Let's let super Hummus do
his sing real quick again.

Speaker 3 (37:32):
Here.

Speaker 1 (37:32):
I hate Hummus. Fuck Hummus, you show today. Hope to
block it for the box. Got listen to the sound
that his elbow makes me. He hits the fucking cinder blocks. Dude, Yeah,
not trying his ome. I hope you like it.

Speaker 3 (37:51):
Whoa dude?

Speaker 1 (38:08):
What a fucking idiot. The best part is like he
was so stupid.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
He was on one of the stages for one of
the more recent gathering of the Juggalos too. He was like,
I think you're just doing this stupid shit on a
fucking stage in front of thousands and thousands of people,
like before.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Icy people in a concert. That's like his like fucking
that's him going to heaven right there, You know what
I mean? What a idiot? Due all right. The next
story we have for you is the almost interviewed him, Yeah,
on his trailer parks. Internet shut down, the only so

(38:48):
I emailed him, I messaged him on the Twitter, I
messaged on Facebook, Instagram. This motherfucker finally writes me back
on Skype. Of all places, Waffin in a voud, I
bet he would be a really fucking fun interview. I don't.

(39:08):
I don't think there's an ounce of intelligence in the
entire not at all, not at all. But I think
that would be perfect because there's not any on the
show either. All Right, we're a couple of rungs above him,
mister do right here. But uh, at least we're we're
we're we got near a full deck. That guy's got

(39:28):
about a less than a half a deck. We're contributing
members of society. He has a half a deck. We
have a half a dick. That's kind of how that
he's got the deck stacked against him. I feel like
though the Poisonous Thanksgiving plot the Stunt family from twenty
twelve going to Springfield, Missouri, a tight religious, middle class

(39:49):
family with a deep commitment to church and tradition, the
kind who probably brought their own castle role to every
Thanksgiving until they did not because mommy dearest Diane stalked
was poisoning the entire family around holiday gatherings. Her husband
died first, everyone assumed it was natural causes. Months later,

(40:14):
one of their adult children died again, everyone shrugged, and
then another child fell critically ill just in time for
Thanksgiving planning. Someone finally tipped off authorities. They said that
Diane acted oddly cheerful during her children's funerals and told
the church members that she never really liked them anyways.

(40:38):
Turns out the way she killed her husband as she
was putting Anna freeze that she purchased off the internet,
because that's where you get the non bitter ana freeze
as you buy off the internet. Yeah, and she was
putting it in his gatorade. Ooh, glacier freeze. She was

(40:58):
the old gatorade. Mm hm. A detective talked to Diane
and immediately sense the vibe of a woman who would
absolutely kill someone for taking the last cresset role. Odd tops,
I do like crescent rolls, but I prefer rolls just
like real fashion roles. Me too, a tops. She showed
anti freeze poisoning. No Thanksgiving punch bowl is safe with

(41:21):
the fucking Mom and Diane around and the kicker. Diane
confessed that she poisoned her husband because he wasted money
in one of her kids, because quote, she didn't like
the stress that he caused. My mom would probably poison
me given the opportunity. If she knew that she could
just wipe the slate clean, I definitely would and get

(41:42):
rid of one. Yeah, I think she would poison me
just start over buy as well. But she she killed
her husband and two of the kids like she was
deleting fucking emails. Her daughter Rachel, confessed to helping stir
the INNI freeze because Mom said it was what God wanted.

(42:03):
Both of them were sentenced to life in prison Mom
with no possibility of parole. Race Rachel's got the possibility
of parole because she testified against her mom. Oh well,
I'll do it anti freeze. Yeah.

Speaker 4 (42:18):
Man.

Speaker 1 (42:18):
One time our neighbors gave our dog and freeze, and
my dad got in a fight with their dad in
front of the yard. A little kid good, but my
dad beat him up good and then called he made
the guy's wife had facial hair, and my dad told
him whatever he beat him up. Thier wife has a beard,

(42:40):
you bit pretty much? Hell yeah, man, yeah, your wife's
gonna fucking mustache. Imagine getting your ass kicked and then
the guy starts clowing you about what your wife looks
after it got a mustache. Yeah, that's fucking salting the wound. Rather, man,
that's what you get for me in a psychopath and
fucking give an ann or freeze to a dog. Well,

(43:01):
my dad would bring home some really bad dogs. Thinking
back over the years when we were kids, dogs were cocksuckers.
So he had a he had a transmission shop, and
they would they would fucking breed these dogs to kill people,
just to be me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And occasionally my
dadd be like, oh, this one's kind of cute. I'm

(43:21):
gonna take it home. Come home, Spike, generation, Quirky sugar bear,
smoky tigger. There was a whole long line of these
diabolical fucking animals, all the same, and he would bring
them home and just generations and generations of inbreeding, just
generations of having like murder instilled into these these dogs. Yeah,

(43:44):
and he'd bring them home and just like drop them
in the yard and be like, all right, you're a
good dog now, and then that's they would just he
would bring them home to protect the yard, just like
they would protect the cars of the transmission shop, sure
property there. And you know, we're boys growing up to
be friends with these dogs, and we want to have
a dog. And I remember the one named Quirky. This

(44:07):
motherfucker tried to kill my little brother probably four or
five times, to the point that they had we just
had to chain him up in the backyard and eventually
take him to the junk yard because he was just
too mean. And one time he was attacking another dog
that was in our yard. They just no it was
an old dog that we had, and he was attacking
it and he wouldn't stop, wouldn't stop, wouldn't stop. My

(44:28):
little brother went over and try to break him up,
and then he started attacking my little brother. Shit, he
wouldn't stop. My little brother's balled up and he's biting him.
And my dad came running with a two by four
and smacked this dog on the head with it as
hard as he could full swing. Yeah, the two by
four broken half, and the dog didn't slow down a
single step. Dude. He had to grab its back legs

(44:49):
and start twisting it like a sticker thumbing his ass.

Speaker 6 (44:52):
Man.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Yeah, dude, he stuck his tongue in his ass. And
my Mom's like, he can't that dog can't stay here
a more. Like, you're right, man, we gotta get rid
of him. So they took him to transfer it, took
him to the well. They had to they feed him
from a distance with like a sling shot and ship
once they took once, they took him up crazy. Once

(45:13):
they took him up to the junk yard to watch
the to watch the yard, nobody could nobody could be
around him, Like how do you get into the junk yard?
Then they had to Yeah, I don't know, man. They
had to feed him from a distance, like fling chicken
bones and ship at him. That's crazy. Well, and then
one day I was like, how's Quirky doing? Just you know,

(45:33):
a year afterwards, Yeah, it's like, I don't know. He left,
and I was like, what doesn't need to be said?
Doesn't need to be said? Yeah, yeah, okay, because he
kind of he kind of got along with me. Okay,
I I could still pet him when he was the house,
but then when he went to the junk yard, I
couldn't fuck with him anymore. He'd see me, he'd be
doing push ups and ship and he fuck you right,

(45:54):
he couldn't. He wanted all the smoke. Ude, that's crazy, man.
And we just had all kinds of bad dogs like that,
and then the cocker. Like one day a cocker spaniel
rolled up, just this beautiful cocker spaniel, all black. He
just shows up, just rolls up, and we're like, whose
dog is No one ever came and got this dog.

(46:14):
We fell in love with this dog. My mom ran
him over and killed him. Oh my god. She was
pulling in the driveway. He come running out. She ran
him over and killed him. I was at craig Lar
since for birthday party. This dog was my dog, dude,
this is my dog. Oh no. They replaced him with
another black cocker Spaniel, thinking I wouldn't fucking notice. Did

(46:37):
you notice? Right away? Right away? I was like, where's midnight?
And they're like, well, uh, this is Buster. The best
we can do is we see your midnight. We raised
you a Buster midnight. I ran over. Fuck me, dude,
And as soon as they said that, my little brother

(46:58):
just like.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
Guy, We're out of his head.

Speaker 1 (47:03):
Right away, he started crying. I think they were trying
to she ran them over good. Oh, I know. They
came home from Craigs. I had a brand new dog
and a and a brand new PlayStation one and a
dead dog. That was the time that the PlayStation came
out and I got a PlayStation. Wow. All while I
was gone that time of the year, money is flying

(47:23):
out of your pocket and you're not getting paid quickly
as you need it. And I've been there nothing wrong
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Speaker 3 (48:03):
Uh.

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(48:46):
now and take control of your pay. The Beast of
you have like the most fascinating and entertaining part. People
are gonna study your life like like a long app
after you're gone. Midnight, dude, it was a good rip
and Midnight. You know how you named him Midnight because

(49:07):
he was all black. Yeah, it was the only name
that we could. Yeah, the Beast of Now this is
your turn. Oh shit, yep. The Beast of Bladen Burrow,
the post Thanksgiving blood Feast nineteen fifty three.

Speaker 2 (49:21):
This is a fucking this is older than your fucking
mom's bush.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Right after Thanksgiving nineteen fifty three and Bladen Burrow in
North Carolina turned into a werewolf movie.

Speaker 2 (49:32):
This is a fucking cool. Livestock were found drained of blood,
organs removed with surgical precision, and claw marks that didn't
match any known animal. Witnesses they described a creature. They
said this creature was a had a panther sized body,
a wolf like head, ears pointed like a demon, and yellow.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Eyes that glowed like a lantern. John, my kids had
just gotta put them down, Jaundice.

Speaker 2 (50:01):
I put them under a fucking a tortilla lamp, a
lizard lamp. Some victims were tore open with the ungodly strength.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Does ungodly strength feel like? Dude, I can't imagine. Manon shit,
I didn't want to know what godly strength feels like.
Others were left intact except for a shredded throat and
empty blood vessels. So this is like a fucking vampiric panther.
That's fucking cool. Yeah, I see your black panther and
raise you a vampiric panther. Fucking suck me, daddy, God,

(50:34):
that's gay's hell, and let's let's send that out. We're
losing control. Here, a government hybrid demon sniffling around the
cranberry sauce. The Thanksgiving panther.

Speaker 2 (50:50):
People saw it stalking the town at night. It slinking
through the cornfields, crossing roads in a single leap, growling
deep enough to rattle windows. Fucking hear them windows, Ryland, Daddy,
hate breed kids, kids weren't allowed outside. Men armed themselves,
police patrols doubled. Then as suddenly as it arrived, it stopped.

Speaker 1 (51:12):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (51:13):
Later the attacks ended right after the holiday season. I
say the local hunter killed it. Others say it was captured.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
By government agents from a nearby military installation. That's it.
You believe that it still prows Carolina woods every late
November at Bladenborough celebrates Thanksgiving with turkey. Something else celebrated
it with blood. Right. A fucking bob kitty call. That's

(51:44):
a fucking the fucking sex panther. A bob kitty as
a that's a kitty cat. That's my kitty cat impression.
That's pretty good, are you looking forward to the season
of Stranger Things, I am very much so I have

(52:04):
something really lucky to tell you. Okay, I've developed quite
the affection for Millie Bobby Brown. Dude, it's yeah, yeah,
I don't feel okay. So she plays it like a
nine year old in the show. I get it, But
in real life, that's a woman. That's a woman on Instagram.
That's a did you see there's some rings around that tree?

(52:27):
If you know what I'm saying, I don't feel that
bad about Yeah she was. I don't know if it
was at the premiere that she was at this fucking
red carpet thing with this dress and it had like
player to out hips, you know what I'm talking about.
And I'm sitting there looking at that like, dude, science

(52:48):
is fucking crazy, man. Stranger Things is so she's beautiful,
she's put together, especially in the first season. I tell you,
I don't like college girls. It's that, I know what
you meant, like fucking four. I like Dustin in the
first one because you couldn't see his teeth. There's a

(53:11):
lot of there's a lot of fucking beautiful people in
that show that that age just doesn't do it like
For instance, we were at the Bengals game yesterday and
sitting in front of us was a group of players wives.
They all had was Jake Browning's wife girlfriend whatever, what
about that fucking field goal McPherson kicked, Holy shit, Shamar

(53:33):
Stewart's girlfriend, Matt Lee's girlfriend, uh, no offense, whatever, significant other?
And they all look to be about nineteen twenty twenty
one years old, and I felt so uncomfortable being around them. Yeah,
it made me feel, as it should, extremely uncomfortable. But

(53:57):
Millie Bobby Brown is the exception. She's doing a lot
of good things. She may be very I find her
to be very Like she was sitting in front of
me yesterday. That's crazy, man, she was wearing a Jake
That's crazy. She wearing a Jake Browning jumpsuit. She's the

(54:18):
only first in the entire stadium where Jake Browning good
for her, man, That's that's love, that's support.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
Yeah, I mean, like I find I find fucking MBB
two be like almost insufferable, Like at interviews and things like,
she really gets on my nerves.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
She doesn't bother me.

Speaker 2 (54:37):
She's I don't know, I feel like she's like a
that what the kids would say. She's like the definition
of a piccmy.

Speaker 1 (54:45):
She's like always like fucking the attention has to do
it has to be on her. That's that's that's what
I get from her. But I mean, you know what, Hey,
get your bag, girl, do what you gotta do. And uh.
Another artist I've really been turned on too recently is
Stephen Wilson Jr. I don't know what that is. He's
a country artist. He got a really really original voice. Man, Okay, hey,

(55:09):
we'll watch his sure his stand by Me cover. Whatever
We're done. I'm done with that. The Sherry Matt Sherry
rass Mussen Thanksgiving Alibi murder in the decades long cover Up,
Los Angeles, nineteen eighty six. Sherry ras Mussen was the
kind of person whose presence well filled the room. I'll

(55:31):
fill my underwear. She filled the room. A hospital director, brilliant, compassionate,
and newly married to the man she adored, John Rutin.
That's what I'd be doing through the panting drawer is rooting,
Buddy rooting in a sniff show where the gushers. Her

(55:52):
future looked like a Hallmark card until it all ended
on one of the most shocking mishandled murders in LAPD history.
LAPD fucking sucky. They've watched every fucking if you work
for LAPD, you fucking suck man. There's not an investigation
they've nailed on. Uh yeah, O J fucking Simpson, dude,

(56:17):
I mean, do you have to get any worse? What
a fucking joke. That guy had his wife's brain matter
on him, like on his hands, and they're just like, yeah,
he didn't do that shit. He trying to put her
brains back in her head.

Speaker 2 (56:30):
For And he fucking come at you come at a
bunch of jurors and judges with the fucking Chewbacca.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Shit is Chewbacca, he is as him. Woota wookid. I
got home and I tried to do surgery in the driveway.
I tried to stooch her bodies back together and it
wouldn't work. And if the glove don't fit, you must
have quit. You must have quit. On February twenty fourth,
Sherry was found brutally beaten, bitten, and shot inside the

(57:02):
condo she shared with her husband, John Burnsure was overturned.
A struggle was obvious. Jewelry boxes were dumped like someone
wanted to look like a that they wanted to look
like a burglary. You ever, I've never committed burglary. You
ever been bitten and liked it? No? Me, neither. Neither.

(57:22):
My wife will try and buy my nipples, and I'll
be like, dude, you don't cut her off. Yeah, I'll
stop sucking her. She touched my nipples. Weird? No, I
like it, shut it down. I'll call the police. I'll
call nine on one. We're man, we should even have
nipples anyways. What do you want to do with these? Yeah?
Hell no, I don't like it. Oh, it makes me
feel weird. Police locked onto that theory immediately, too quickly

(57:46):
in that decision to derail the truth for over twenty years.
But lurking in Sherry's orbit was someone police should have
looked at right away, by a young whore named Stephanie Lazaretz.
John's ex girlfriend who also happened to be an LAPD
police officer. Got it, and not just any ex girlfriend,

(58:08):
A woman who had a history obsessive behavior, a woman
who showed up at Sherry's work unannounced, warning her quote,
if I can't have John, no one will. Oh God,
you bitch, Cherry was terrified. Sherry the bitch. No, Cherry
wasn't the bitch. Cherry was the victim. Cherry was terrified.

(58:29):
But John, he just brushed it off. No girl needs
to go that hard for a guy named John, though
there's plenty of other Unless it's John Mayer, then oh dah,
that's that's understandable. The police never asked, though Lazarus claimed
she was with a family for Thanksgiving that time, a
combination of normal days off chopping plans in early spring
get togethers that she referenced often during the investigation. Detectives

(58:54):
treated it like gospel, even though many of the dates
she cited were wrapped around seasonal family gatherings and puting
the big ones like Thanksgiving Christmas, which helped her establish
a I'm always with my family pattern of credibility. Can
we like it? You mentioned it?

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Can we acknowledge how good of a poon pedigree John
Mayer has? Do you mean how fucking insane is is
that dude's track record with.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
He's got a fake? And I think it says a
lot about not to mention how good of a fucking
musician he is. He's the most slept on guitar player
and absolutely abs fucking lutely absolutely. It's crazy. People know
he's good, but I don't think they know how good
he is. My all time favorite John Mayer thing is
he got dressed up is a Teddy Bear in his
own concert, and he walked around the parking lot and

(59:42):
he was in a Teddy Bear costume. Nobody knew he was,
They didn't know who he was, what he was antagonizing everybody.
He's like trure, false, Your Body is a Wonderland was
written for a man, and all these girls like shot you.
He's like true or false. John Mayer has a husband
like that fuck custing out and stuff, and he's just

(01:00:03):
it's just him with a megaphone talking shit about himself.
I love that man. Yeah, sure, false, Your Body as
a Wonderland was written for a man. That's great.

Speaker 2 (01:00:18):
I love if you see that interview where he's like
a it's him and Kanye in the studio and he's
talking about Kanye's talking about his watch or something like that,
and then John Mayer comes up and he's like he
talks about his watch, how his watch costs so much
more than Kanye's does, and he's like, think about that
next time. You listen to daughters bitch. Yeah, it's a

(01:00:43):
forty thousand dollars wall.

Speaker 1 (01:00:44):
I'm sure he's listening to that. And here's the kicker,
the Elazarus. The ex girlfriend, inserted herself into Sherry's case
right after the murder. She casually walked into the detective's office,
asked about the investigation, and made comments like she was
just being helpful. She even logged evidence out of the
property control room for review. Fellow officers assumed she was

(01:01:08):
just being supportive. Meanwhile, the actual detectives ignored the byte
mark on Sherry's body, ignored Lazarus's motive, and ignored the
possibility that the burglary was in fact staged Lapde knowingly
or not protected one of their own. The case went
cold for almost twenty three years. Sherry's father begged for

(01:01:31):
decades for someone to look deeper, and Lapd kept shutting
him down. Then, in two thousand and nine, over twenty
three years later, a cold case detective pulled the file
and immediately said, what the fuck is this? They tested
the byte mark, which was not tested back in nineteen

(01:01:52):
eighty whatever. They tested the bite mark with updated DNA technology.
The result didn't just naar the suspect list, it pointed
right to Stephanie Lazarus, the LAPD police officer herself. Detectives
knew if they confronted her directly, she'd lawyer up, so
they tricked her. They called her into an interview room

(01:02:15):
under the lie that they needed her help on an
unrelated case. While she talked, they subtly steered questions toward
her past with John. Her face changed, She started sweating,
She started stammering. She knew the trap was closing. They
arrested her in the hallway. The trial was explosive, though
prosecutors laid out the whole picture. Lazarus she had motive, jealousy, obsession.

(01:02:38):
She had the opportunity, she was off duty of the time,
knowledge she knew how to stage burglary. The bite mark
was one hundred percent DNA match a missing police issued
gun that was never recovered. In a history of showing
up uninvited around Sherry. After decades of silence, the truth

(01:02:59):
it was no longer a avoidable. Stephanie Lazarus was convicted
of first degree murder and sent sentenced to twenty seven
years to life in prison, where she sits in the
California prison today, still claiming innocent, still rewriting history in
her own head. Sherry Rasmussen's family finally got the closure
that they deserved. The LAPD was forced to acknowledge its

(01:03:21):
catastrophic failure, and the family alibis Lazarus reference so often
they didn't save her in the end. Science did huh
ah behold for Christmas? Interesting? Let's see if I can
find this John Mayrathing mm hmm, right off the fucking rip.

(01:03:49):
I found it, ellieh. I can't believe this, dude. I
haven't seen this in That's Great many years. I think
it was actually on VH one it was. Yeah, I
see the logo here at Jones Beach in New York.

Speaker 6 (01:04:02):
It's about an hour before the gates open, and I've
been told there's quite an energy in the parking lot.

Speaker 1 (01:04:06):
Of these shows.

Speaker 6 (01:04:10):
So I've decided to figure out a way to see
the fans with.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
My own eyes, anonymously.

Speaker 5 (01:04:19):
Trek Trek. Are you guys here to see tonight?

Speaker 7 (01:04:21):
John Mayer?

Speaker 5 (01:04:22):
Do you know that John Myers p sitting down? You
guys pick John.

Speaker 1 (01:04:29):
Wait p sitting down.

Speaker 7 (01:04:33):
Myers fans Myers or John Mayer Myers Myers.

Speaker 5 (01:04:38):
Did you know that John Myers lip syncs all his concerts.
Keep drinking. It's the only way you're gonna make it
through the Show's tough guy. You want to you want
to arm wrestle the.

Speaker 1 (01:04:47):
Bear, the guitar playing arm arm wrestling every.

Speaker 5 (01:04:59):
I'm and again that's sixteen and nothing. Oh, I get it.

Speaker 6 (01:05:02):
Letting her drag it here is gonna help your chances
of scoring later on.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Birthday Girls, The Birthday Girls.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
The bean.

Speaker 1 (01:05:15):
He's holding a little too long right there, he is.
He's got an attractive young lady and he's not letting go.
It's a early two thousands. You're allowed to do things
like that that get let go either though, I think
she knows he's like true or false.

Speaker 5 (01:05:32):
Your body is a Wonderland was written for a guy.

Speaker 7 (01:05:35):
You're out of the farm to sweep the automobile for honey,
God damn.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
It, you're good.

Speaker 6 (01:05:44):
The sad part is that I was doing this before
he even had a TV show. You guys picked myners fans,
what are some of your favorite songs? Blame droning ladies.
I've got some really bad news. The Fleetwood Mac Show
was rescheduled for.

Speaker 7 (01:05:59):
Next This is like sex in the city if they
didn't cancel Itump Wednesday, last time you got good stinking drunk?

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
How fun is that? Big John Mayer fans around.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
All Right, let's the Toronto time slip. Let's fucking let's
start slipping some time. This goes back to Thanksgiving of
nineteen eighty five, the year before my dad came and
my mom.

Speaker 1 (01:06:34):
A family heading to Canadian Thanksgiving. Is that a thing? Okay?
The hours, Yeah, they fucking they didn't kill Indians. They're
just thankful. They're just thankful that our Indians got killed. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:06:48):
The family heading to a Canadian Thanksgiving dinner took a
wrong turn, the kind you'd laugh about later, which we'll
probably do, except this one. Oh wasn't funny. Never mind,
you know, what's the lab what's the laugh? They ended
up on a road that shouldn't exist. No street signs,
no cars, no houses, just a long, perfectly paved, silent

(01:07:10):
highway stretching into a horizon that felt wrong. The sky
was darker than it should have been. No albiance was gone,
no plane lights, no city glow, no ambient hum. The
family tried turning around, but the road behind them was different,
curving where it should have been straight. Then their radio
started playing a station that didn't exist, broadcasting a man

(01:07:33):
speaking in a language is that no one recognized?

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
Episode Turkey FM. They finally saw a building. This building
was a gas station, so they went ahead and pulled in.
But the windows of the gas station were blacked out
and the pumps had no logos. The prices signed, the
price signs listed were no numbers with too many digits.
They hang pan that much for fucking gas? Yeah one

(01:08:04):
is this fucking twenty twenty five? And they stepped out of
the car. The air itself felt static. The headlights appeared
behind them. I'm sorry. Then headlights appeared behind them, but
the car making Yeah, but the car that was you know,
that was back behind them. That was just was wrong.
It was too.

Speaker 2 (01:08:24):
Long, too low, completely silent. Then this, you know, this
caused them the panic. They jumped back in the car,
floored it. The road twisted, blurred, and then they were
suddenly back on a normal Toronto street, one mile away
from where they originally turned wrong. The road they'd been

(01:08:44):
on never even existed. It's fucking wild things giving time
slip for it.

Speaker 1 (01:08:50):
They're halfing that fucking exhaust gas. If I ever experienced
a time slip, I'm just gonna ship my pants. See
if you wake up without pooping your pants. I just
want to see what happens when you shit yourself in
another dimension, Like it travels back with you, you feel
it go back into your ass. I really I do.

(01:09:13):
I obsessed over time machines a lot. I'd like to, yeah, Ryan,
the time machine, just to go back and either forward
or backwards. I kind of obsess over that. But is
there anything that in particular that you think of that
you that you would go back and change some historical No,
I wouldn't change anything that's too fucking scary? Would you?

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Would you try to go back and make money off
of what you already know? I've thought about that a lot. Yeah, Well,
what do you think is something that you feel like
you know so well that you could.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
Bet money off of it and win coords? Any anything
in particular?

Speaker 2 (01:09:50):
I mean, if you're if you're given no time to
study for anything, just any event that you think, like,
say you go back to the twenties.

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
All. I mean that's kind of complicated because if you
went back to twenties, then yeah, it depends on how
long I was there, that's true, But they could pick
your time. I think I would, yeah, man, because I

(01:10:28):
don't think that I think about this shit all the
fucking time. So you'd have to be so prepared. So
you would have to go back to maybe the the
mid nineties for one of Mike Tyson's upsets and literally
travel back in time with enough money that you could

(01:10:50):
bet enough to like come back with a life changing amount,
or you would have to do a significantly crazy parlay
that involved Tyson losing. Sure, you know when he was upset,
was a Buster Douglas that upset him? Yeah, go back
and you know, bet five hundred thousand on Buster Douglas
or something. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:11:10):
I feel like it's definitely something you'd have to prepare for,
and maybe maybe not even I feel like there's there's
a lot of things that you don't really have to
especially when it comes to sports, that you don't have
to know offhand, because I feel like.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
When you go to like especially with us, you know,
being born in the late eighties and going through the
huge you know, TV boom and you know pay per
view and all that good stuff that we that we
came through, there's enough stuff to where we know enough
that when the time came, we would remember whether or not. Offhand,

(01:11:46):
I couldn't tell you. I couldn't tell you know who
did what at what year.

Speaker 2 (01:11:51):
But I feel like in the moment I would do like, oh,
I know that the fucking you know, the Cowboys beat
the Steelers or you know what I mean, at this
specific game.

Speaker 1 (01:12:00):
You'd have to do it several times in order to
make like a life changing amount of money, or you
would just have to go back and just not come
like just go back knowing what you know and not
come back to the the present. Well, and that's the
problem is really sad. And if you go too far back,
I feel like there's not.

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
Really the market to make a ton of money like
there would be when Vegas odds are huge.

Speaker 1 (01:12:23):
I feel like Tyson's heyday would would have been. I think,
I think with virtual reality and AI and there, there
has to be somebody working on an idea to pretty
much teleport you to historical like historic you know, you're
a Union soldier at the Gettysburg address. I think it's
already been done. What do you like? Yeah, I thought,

(01:12:44):
I feel like we're already able to do it, and
we're just not offered to you and me, or yeah,
time travel or.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Yeah, time travel, time travel. I think it's one hundred percent.
I think I feel like it's one hundred percent. What
makes you figure that out? I don't know, man, I've
this is gonna sound really stupid, because I mean, you
can't really trust everything I've I've read a lot of
ship and I feel like that it's they've so they've
already it's already factual that they've already teleported things from

(01:13:14):
one spot to another.

Speaker 1 (01:13:16):
Yeah, like tiny atoms, you know. Yeah, I mean, yeah,
that's that's what's gotten out.

Speaker 2 (01:13:22):
So I feel like anything that we can really imagine,
I feel like we're way above that.

Speaker 1 (01:13:30):
Okay, Yeah, I mean I'm.

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
And with Sir her and all that ship that we
don't know about, the fucking hydrogen colliders and all that
crazy ship.

Speaker 1 (01:13:38):
I think when you talk about cern things like that,
the more the more important projects are the ones that
we we don't know about. Sure, And that's what I'm saying.
We know about these things.

Speaker 2 (01:13:49):
So there's there's so many other you know, real you know,
clandestine like fucking super like secretive ship.

Speaker 1 (01:13:58):
That we ratus. Yeah, I guess the thought I'm thinking
of is not actually teleport you, but put some type
of virtual reality had set on you with the AI
aided algorithm, and you literally go back to all if

(01:14:19):
you take in all the facts and all the data,
what it was like in the moment to be on
the stage with Abraham Lincoln while he gave the Gettysburkendry
in color.

Speaker 2 (01:14:30):
And it could very it could very well be a
thing like what I typically think it is. I don't
necessarily think that it is a a one for one,
So I think that maybe it's something to where it's
that veil, there's there's an alternate timeline. You can't you
can't ever go back in your timeline, but you can
go back in another timeline, and maybe that maybe that's

(01:14:52):
where we get interference from the other side of like
ghosts or other things. It's like, could be us doing
these things? Very well could be and the you know,
and where it's where the veil's there, you can kind
of see that something's there, some sort of body, some
sort of apparition, whatever you want to call it.

Speaker 1 (01:15:11):
It's I have to think about you like, that's.

Speaker 2 (01:15:13):
Cool, and maybe, you know, maybe maybe that is what
it is.

Speaker 1 (01:15:17):
If you could go back to one historical event and
observe it in real time, what would it be just
to be there the presence?

Speaker 2 (01:15:26):
One would be really hard. I mean, November twenty second,
nineteen sixty three. Man, I'm I'm fucking I'm daily Plaza.
You'll be riding shotgun or But I think I think
to see, to witness and to go through World War

(01:15:47):
two would be really would be something crazy too, just
to see, you know, the the fall of the Nazis
and just just to see the rise and just to
see the world tensions and kind of like witness, that
would be very interesting.

Speaker 1 (01:16:04):
I think I would like to go back to one
of Jesus's proclaimed miracles, because if I go back and
watch that motherfucker turn a rock into a thousand fish sandwiches,
I okay, this dog. I might rock with this dude
a little bit. Right, We're seeing it like his CRUs,
like his pyramids. I think that'd be cool to see that,
to see all that stuff being made in just the
most productive day they ever had, yeah, building the pyramids.

Speaker 2 (01:16:25):
Just seeing just seeing ancient technology in person and to
actually be able to figure out what exactly it is.

Speaker 1 (01:16:31):
Like, why are you motherfuckers doing this, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:16:34):
Because I mean it's it's stuff that even with today's
technology that we can't do. And somehow during that era
of technology, with nowhere near as that, you know, as
advance as we are, they were able to in a
different way, in a different way, possibly more advanced than
we are in a yeah, in it obviously there was

(01:16:54):
a split, yeah, somewhere exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:16:57):
And it's like, what what caused that? A reset? I
mean there's some kind of resets. Absolutely all that technology
was lost. It's like, what caused all that? One thing
we did get out of all of it, though, is
the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. We just went total fucking We
went tenfoil hat there for a while. It's all right,

(01:17:19):
that's why people are listening. Man. Thanksgiving nineteen ninety seven,
New York City, Macy's Day Parade. My wife cries whenever
Santa Claus brings up the rear there every year. She
fucking cries. It's real friends, family, snoopy clowns, and then
absolute fucking carnage cat and the hat balloon sixty feet

(01:17:45):
tall got snagged by a freak wind gust. It slammed
into a lamp post ripped it out of the ground
and dropped a three hundred pound metal chunk onto spectators.
That's me, I love Tater's dude. Four people were injured.
One woman suffered brain damage permanent Dane bramage. Balloon wranglers

(01:18:07):
swear that something was wrong that morning. The balloons were heavier,
they used heavy they used heavy air fill them up,
the wind wasn't reading right, shadows, and the skyscraper windows
looked distorted. Since then, multiple Macy's balloons have crashed fallen
snap ropes, causing injuries, always around Thanksgiving, right when the

(01:18:30):
Macy's Day parade is always with the same weird bad
weather window conspiracy. Theorists call it the parade curse. Engineers
call it bad luck behind closed doors, though Macy's planars
call those years the Haunted h I never knew about that.
I didn't it either. That's scary, though, I mean fucking

(01:18:54):
I'll tell you what the problem is. You uh took
upon yourself to carry one of these things around with
fifty hour wind gusts. It's your own stupid, goddamn fault. Well,
none of the people carrying the float got heard. It
was the spectators. Even worse, and it was a cat

(01:19:16):
in the hat and it wasn't even like a cool float.
Really it's not lame. Actually, yeah, sorry, Ida just lost
myself for a minute there. I heard, Yeah, so I
don't always see the posts that you make. I opened.
I just opened up my Facebook and then the first
thing I'm blasted with, I'm fucking punched in the face

(01:19:38):
with looking to speak with someone who has microplastics in
their balls. It kind of fucked me up that I
thought of that while I was scooping the cat litter
box earlier, because I was like, when I was scooping
the box, like, oh, I'm gonna get lung cancer. And
then I was I told my wife. I was like,
I'm gonna get lung cancer from this. And then h

(01:20:00):
She's like, well, just add to the list. And I
was like what list. She's like, all the stuff that's
already wrong with you, and I was like, I have
microplastics in my balls and then uh oh, she made
a sexual reference. My wife always laughs at me. She
always will always look at me and then she'll start

(01:20:21):
laughing because every single time I'll hold the bag for
her while she's scooping the cat litter. I have it
over my nose so that I'm not inhaling the fucking
piss dust and it doesn't make my brain go crazy?
Have you heard about that shit happening? What do you
think is wrong with me? I scoop for three cats, dude,
I got, I got mint night long dude.

Speaker 5 (01:20:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:20:42):
Man, it's the fucking thing. If you fucking smell too.

Speaker 2 (01:20:44):
Much cat piss, it makes your fucking brain go to mush.
I ain't getting mush, brain dog now, I got too much.

Speaker 1 (01:20:51):
I got too little to lose. I can't afford a
brain cell to go. And last thing I want tell
them about the Kentucky Goblin. I do fucking want the
Kentucky Gobbler's annumber four at KFC. I'd order that heart beat,
so I want to. I was been working in springfielder
lately and I got frishes the other day, Oh my god,
one of the only ones left. And boy, it fucking
hit was good. Oh it was really good. Get a

(01:21:12):
hot fudge cake. I didn't. I did get a super
big boy in a fucking onion ring. You get tartar
sauce to dip the young your ring in. I didn't,
but I should have. I should have no man's so
fucking good.

Speaker 2 (01:21:23):
So down in rural Kentucky, Thanksgiving isn't just turkey season,
it's cryptid season. Hunters have described a creature the locals
call the gobbler that sounds funny until you hear what
it does is fucker's eight feet tall, got a humanoid body,
feather like protrusions along the spine, and a beak like

(01:21:43):
jaw lined with teeth that no birds should have, and
arms that's split into clawed hands. Sightings peak around late November,
usually from hunters tracking deer, and they say the gobbler
stalks silently mimicking turkey sounds to lure prey. This includes humans.

(01:22:05):
One man claimed it god. It gobbled from behind him,
then whispered his name, Roger.

Speaker 3 (01:22:22):
Y'all ain't gonna believe. What does ha me?

Speaker 1 (01:22:25):
We got the name of one call for this. I
was outside of Turkey behighing and said, my name, what's
your name?

Speaker 3 (01:22:32):
Sir?

Speaker 1 (01:22:37):
What if his name was fucking gobble gobble? Like it?
It's a very that's a very Kentucky name, right, Roger
gobble rog gobble mister. Another reported finding claw marks on
trees ten feet high but are ranged like writing just
motherfuckers are using calligraphy to sign their names.

Speaker 2 (01:22:57):
That family found one of their decoys shredded and mounted
in a tree like a trophy. If Bigfoot is the
king of the forest. Oh the fucking gobblers the deranged
uncle to no one that fights over for dinner.

Speaker 1 (01:23:12):
I'm the I'm the deranged gobbler for real. I already
say my David swear to God. Oh shit, that would
scare the ship out of me.

Speaker 3 (01:23:24):
Dude.

Speaker 1 (01:23:24):
Oh care man, I'm dying over here. Face hurts. Yeah, dude,
I didn't. I didn't think it was gonna go like this.
Letna be honest with you. I mean that's I don't
rule anything out anymore. I never have intentions of wearing
a lucha libre mask. Sometimes you just wind up places
you don't want to be.

Speaker 2 (01:23:43):
I mean, yeah, you can't. Can't tell the future. Man,
this fuck this next one. This brings us back home.

Speaker 1 (01:23:48):
Hampton Family Thanksgiving massacre in Ohio Thanksgiving morning, two thousand
and six. Hey fucking we were fresh out of school.
I was still getting fucking curlies, dude, still popping pubes.
The Kempten family was preparing breakfast when an intruder slipped

(01:24:09):
into the house quietly, like he'd been watching them for days.
Within minutes, the family was ambushed, bound, beaten, and murdered,
a crime so brutal that investigators originally believed it was
cartel connected, but the truth was Stranger the killer. He
had no financial motive. He didn't steal anything significant. He

(01:24:33):
left objects and bizarre positions. Fork stuck into the walls,
a turkey baster jammed into the drywall. It sounds like
my house growing up. Photographs slipped backwards like he didn't
want to be watched. This is so fucked up. There
was a fucking I remember growing up, So my dad,

(01:24:57):
would you get really fucking pissed my stuff? Obviously bag
He would get really fucking this sometimes and he would
throw fucking My mom would make dinner and he get
really mad and he'd fucking throw it at her. There
was one time where he threw a fucking whole glass

(01:25:19):
plate of spaghetti.

Speaker 2 (01:25:23):
There was then there was another time where it's a
I don't remember what the fuck it was, but I
remember there was mashed potatoes on the plate, and there
was two spots on her wall where there was kicked
fucking mashed potatoes and spaghetti didn't all get cleaned up
because I got thrown at her. It's so fucked.

Speaker 1 (01:25:40):
Oh, dude, I can see the fucking spaghetti and massed
potatoes kicked on the wall. Dude, I would get sad
over someone wasting mashed potatoes like that for real. When
Stacey was pregnant, she's really emotional, and I ordered her
Chipotle Brita wrong and then she threw it. She threw
it at me, the only time she ever thrown food

(01:26:01):
at me. But it hit the wall and exploded, and
I think it had like hot sauce on it, extra
hot sauce. I can't remember. Yeah, but Ace went over there,
It's just started inhaling it, eating it all, and I'm like, no, no, no,
he just keeps eating it. So that whole night I

(01:26:22):
was just mad because she threw the fucking burrito and
she went and talk to me, and then she went
to bed and she's like, you could sleep on the
fucking couch because we were fighting. You know. I think
I was like, you're being an asshole or whatever. She's like,
if I'm an asshole, you can sleep on a couch.
So I you know, I'm like, well, I'm asleep on
the fucking couch. Yeah, it's like twelve thirty and I

(01:26:45):
just hear and I flipped the light on. Dude, this
dog is spring poop all over my living room because
he ate an entire fucking Chipotle burrito. And I'm yelling
at him. This is a really smart dog. I'm yelling

(01:27:06):
at him. He just makes eye contact and just gives
me the most I'm sorry, brother, Look, you could like
a dog can ever give a man. He was totally
understanding in that time. I just wait on my head
and finish it out. I just let him keep shitting,
finish her out. Poor buddy's prace. Man. That's how I
feel every single time I get hot sauce from Chipotle. Dude,

(01:27:28):
I have to go white with it. Man. I love it.
It's really fucking good, but I still get extra. You're gambling.
You're always like you want a full scoop. I'm like,
I want to scoops. You're putting your life in the
Lord's hands at that point. Okay, where are we a
turkey based or jams into the wall. One detective said
the scene felt rich, realistic. Another set it felt personal,

(01:27:50):
but the killer didn't know the family at all. To
this day, investigators don't fully understand the psychological reasoning behind
the layout of the crime scene. No idea. Why fucking
flip the pictures around and jam a turkey baster into
the wall? That's oh fuck, that concludes our Turkey terror episode.

(01:28:11):
Jesus Christ, an hour and a half? What the fuck happened?
Thirty minutes of content? I think I experienced a time
a loss of time here. Yeah, me too, Let's do
another hour and a half. I get my noses running
minus due. It's so bad, chapstick, I'm sick. I got
a Lucha Libra mask on. Yeah, man, I don't remember
putting it on. It's only a fucking Monday, too, just

(01:28:35):
another manic Monday. If you'd like to keep the good
times rolling, we have a closed group on Facebook. It's
called the Brohio podcast butt Chuggers Anonymous. The password to
get into the group is Bill Wilkins, where you can
see memes and videos and the same shit over and

(01:28:56):
over and over. Usually usually I'll nip it. If I
see it over over and over, I'll call it out.
I want to tell you guys something, though, Okay, tell
them there was a day last week that between x, Instagram, Facebook, Messenger,
all my friends, I had over one hundred and fifty

(01:29:19):
over one hundred and fifty correspondences that day of people
sending me reels and videos just like so, we're at
the point now the only person that sends me a
TikTok or a video that I watch is Robert. Yeah.
I don't even watch my wife's links anymore. It's become

(01:29:39):
too much of a burden, too much, man, I cannot
keep up. If somebody, if there's a funny video out
there about somebody like getting punched in the butt. I
saw you, like the TikTok that I reposted.

Speaker 2 (01:29:54):
Yesterday, Dude, I'm gonna I'm gonna say this. My posts
on TikTok are fucking top notch. Everything I repost is
so fucking good.

Speaker 1 (01:30:05):
I can't remember what it was, but it was the
thing o baby like. It looked like it was gonna
kill itself, get a nerf gut in his mouth, the
fucking Nirvana song playing in the background. My reposts are
fucking golden, so they're good. Further notice, I won't be

(01:30:25):
watching any TikTok reels Instagram shorts that any of you
people send me unless it looks funny, and then I'll
then I'll watch it. But today I tried something new.
I put my phone on do not disturb all day long.
Really yep, that's daring. And uh I still get messages
from you, my wife, my kids, and my mom and

(01:30:46):
my dad. I didn't get any notifications today. Wow, And
I really enjoyed it. That's nice. I think I'm gonna
do it more often. I got the.

Speaker 2 (01:30:58):
Majority of my notifications turned off, so I don't I
don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:31:01):
I turned everything off today at least till like my
like right now.

Speaker 2 (01:31:04):
I got four Facebook notifications, but if I was a
click in the app, then I would see everything, obviously.

Speaker 1 (01:31:10):
But I don't get I don't get any push notifications
for anything. Buddy, I'm getting more out. Yeah, I can't
do the push notification shit. At six hundred and seventy
seven unread text messages. Oh I do that. That's so stressful.
So tired of talking to people, dude, I love everyone

(01:31:30):
listening to the show, but uh, I got a lot
of people that try and talk to me about dumb stuff.
Get that, man. I like conversations that mean something. Yeah,
I did meet the I met a quantum, a quantum healing. Well,

(01:31:53):
let's just say what she is. I met a woman that,
uh guide you while you do drugs d MT. Yeah yeah, shaman. Yeah,
she's a shaman. She does all that. I met her
at a party and she she runs a business I think,
a quantum healing something. But she's agreed to come on

(01:32:15):
the show. That's cool. He's deeply spiritual, she is. I
love that, love that. It's all about energies, numerology, all
the different, had a lot of uh. Had a pretty
good conversation with her, but she's agreed. She's agreed to
come on the show. That would be great. Excited, Yeah,
that'd be awesome. She's also took me up with this

(01:32:35):
guy who claims that he astral projects and he's astral
projected into the Ohio court system and he's changed laws. Dude.
Fuck yes. I met some really weird people over the weekend.
What the were you at a birthday party? Dude? That's

(01:32:56):
so cool? You know, I make friends everywhere I go.
And I said, he looks like miss Lippy Billy Madison's
kindergarten teacher. I want to talk to her, and wait,
we went.

Speaker 2 (01:33:06):
Dude, that's awesome. It's cool that you made that distinction
and that person kind of lift up to that.

Speaker 1 (01:33:11):
Oh yeah, well I know I know him as soon
as I see him, buddy. Yeah, yeah, I know a
fruit loop when I see dude. How cool. Yeah. But
she's uh, he's excited to come on the show. Yeah,
that'd be awesome. I told her i'd send her a
Facebook message. Now, I just got to build up the
bravery to do it. Yeah, let's fucking do that. Let's

(01:33:33):
get on that ship. Yep, that's cool. All right, well,
hell yeah, thanks guys for tuning into this episode of
the Brohio podcast Turkey Terror Time. Love you guys, Thank you.
I hope your turkey is so good that you fucking come. Man.
Is that safe to say? That's cool? Yeah? I think
it's safe to say. Everyone makes dry ass, nasty turkey.

(01:33:53):
They really do. Don't over cook it. And I said
it on my Facebook page. If you're alone on things
than giving, just reach out to me because I would
like to borrow your tables and chairs. Don't be alone
if you are. If you are local and you're alone,
you don't have anybody send me an email. I wouldn't

(01:34:14):
be opposed to having a crazy Brohile listener in the
house for Thanksgiving. I don't want to see anybody go
without on Thanksgiving. In the meantime, we're not gonna do
anything with our lives. We're gonna conclude this episode and
that's all we're gonna do. We'll catch up with you
guys soon.

Speaker 2 (01:34:32):
Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgiving everybody. Hope you guys have a
good week. Don't work too hard.

Speaker 1 (01:34:37):
You love you. I want to see

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