When the History Books Lied

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
P is for penis, poop and pussy. It's also for podcast.
Welcome into the Brohio Podcast, the strongest podcast in the
entire world. I like that. How powerful? Well, Robert tell
him how powerful it is? Powerful?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Man, he dude, I wasn't sure where we're going.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
We ever seen that video that woman that can smash
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That's how powerful this podcast is. Look it up, put
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Let's ask chat GPT right now, how strong a titty is? Well?
I know how dude. I've put some fucking trauma on

(01:02):
a tit and nothing. It bounces back.

Speaker 3 (01:05):
Hit them fucking things around like some Newton balls. You have
seen this thing, Newton's cradle.

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Back and forward. I'm asking chat GPD how powerful is
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Yeah hellyeah, good for good for chat GPG. Man, thanks
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Be funny, dumb ass.

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Oh you got it now.

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(02:04):
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(02:26):
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Speaker 2 (02:41):
Wow, dude, this is very accurate.

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That's how powerful. That's that's yeah, the Brohio podcast is.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
That's carrying a lot of weight, right, there man.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
Chuck Norris farted in a waffle house bathroom. That's how
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starting off with.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Tory for our are are are are?

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Thank you Tony for our Tory. Tory Tory, Tony's her
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Tory and Tony, TF girl, thank you for being here.
Thank you for your Some people will say the fuck,
but it's actually Toryef.

Speaker 2 (03:21):
There you go, not the fuck, not the fuck, Nope,
the fuck t Yef baby. Next, we got Will Bilkins.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
He's here.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
I see what he did there.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
My name is Will Belkins and I'm seventy three years old,
not DoD marn shit. That doesn't sound right, oh does it?

Speaker 2 (03:36):
I feel like go to being his own piss. Will
Bilkins died and piss.

Speaker 1 (03:39):
My name's Will Belkins and I do man piss. He
fucking drowned.

Speaker 5 (03:44):
Drowned.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
You're drowning a shallow bottle of piss.

Speaker 1 (03:49):
Thanks Willie Bilkins. That's a quick reminder. We got a
super secret Facebook group called the Brohio Podcast, but Chugger's anonymous. Hey,
you can join that super secret group if you like
the past heard is Bill Wilkins. We also got a
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com slash Brio podcast, Mark Blake. If that's not a

(04:14):
fucking white privileged name, I've never heard one before, Mark Blake.
That's true, shop, dude.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
The double first name is a is a red flag I've.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Been living with my whole life. I always pressed my
mom and dad like, hey, why do you name me?
Uh Nick, And they're like, well, we want to name
me Roseanne, but you weren't a girl.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
Well if they would have named you Alexander, I mean,
wouldn't that kind of be cool though?

Speaker 1 (04:44):
And I could have went by lex for real, which
could have. But Roseanne.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Such a good show. I loved that show.

Speaker 1 (04:57):
John Goodman was, Yeah, this is before they fucking killed
Roseanne off, like when they all got high in the
bathroom and got stuck.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
With some good ship back in the day. It's really good.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Roseann's criminally underrated.

Speaker 5 (05:12):
She is.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
She's funny, she is very intolerant human, but.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, she's pretty fucking rough.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
You're not putting up with any bullshit. It's very opinionated,
but it's all good. Hey, if you're joining us on
the YouTube chat, you can look behind us. We've started
putting up pictures of people's dogs and cats. If you'd
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weasel or fish or your grandma featured on the Brohio,

(05:42):
we're gonna call it Robert. This just came to me.
We're gonna call it the Brohio. Paul Wall Oh, dude,
that's good. Come on the Brohio, Paul wall Oh, fuck man,
call it George. Don't make me a grill. You can that.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
That just fucking reminded me of Keep keep talking. I
got I gotta find this.

Speaker 1 (06:03):
You can mail us a picture of your animal and
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look at the YouTube live stream and you can see
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your your animal. Send it to our po box. The
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(06:26):
six seven to two Vandelia Ohio four five three seven
seven and you can send that to Tension Brohio podcast
or you're gonna do attention. Uh ceo, Nick or Rob.
You can put that in there and that'll make it.
That'll sum that will find its way to our desk. Well,

(06:48):
every week I like to do something where I find
us strange. I'm not gonna call them newspaper articles anymore.
They're just strange articles from all over the Internet. This
one's from Kentucky. Kentucky provides a lot of real nice content.
Gotta love it. This fellow looks like he does drugs.
Kentucky man arrested for releasing a raccoon into a business

(07:10):
months after fleeing police on a mule. Not funny yet. Robert,
a man from Murray, Kentucky, was arrested last week after
police say he released a raccoon inside of a business
the whole trash Panda. This comes just months after the
same man, Well, he was arrested for attempting to evade
police officers on a mule. That's right, a fucking donkey

(07:33):
with a smaller dick. On June sixth, twenty twenty five,
Murray Police Department responded to a call that a person
had intentionally released a raccoon into an open business and
then he fled the scene from there. Soon after, officers
initiated a traffic stop on Jonathan Mason, who's forty years old.
He looks about fifty eight. According to police, he refused

(07:55):
to roll down his window or exit the vehicle. Officers
physically removed Mason from the VW vehicle. Investigators learned the
raccoon that was released into the business bit a person
and that Mason was previously warned that he was not
allowed on the property of the business. Mason was arrested
in charged with assault, second degree, criminal trespassing, third degree

(08:15):
resisting arrest, failure of voter to maintain required insurance first offense,
and he was put in the Calloie County jail man
About six months prior to this incident, Mason was arrested
for a different crime, also involving an animal. December twenty fourth,
Murray Police Department responded to a local bar after an

(08:35):
unruly individual who had been asked to lee, was refusing
to do so. Officers found Murray outside the business under
the influence of alcohol. Mason had ridden a mule to
the establishment and then refused to stop when ordered by
an officer, and they continued to try to place him
under arrest while he resisted. Witnesses told investigators that Mason

(08:58):
Mason whipped the mule at a different instatum. I'm sorry,
I say Mason whipped the mule at a different establishment
and unnecessary amount of time. Okay, so he whipped the
mule at another establishment an unnecessary amount of times, in
addition to mistreating the in one other ways. Ah, I
don't like when my mule gets mistreated.

Speaker 5 (09:16):
Man.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
You can't mistreat a mule.

Speaker 5 (09:19):
Man.

Speaker 1 (09:19):
This guy gets arrested about two days a week. Oh okay,
you know he doesn't. He doesn't care. Man, Look right,
look at this app for these shoes. Dude, where the
hell do I get?

Speaker 3 (09:29):
Those?

Speaker 5 (09:29):
Are? Sweet? Dude?

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Would you wear those?

Speaker 5 (09:31):
Fu? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Those are cool man, that's really cool. It's crocodile heads.
You were on your feet. It was a really cool
It's gotta be for sale someplace, for sure, don fandy.
I don't know about that one. Damn. I got this.

Speaker 3 (09:52):
I heard this really fucking funny story today and I
can't find I can't find the actual uh description of
All I can find is the audio the person's talking
about it. Yeah, I don't really want to play somebody
else's audio.

Speaker 1 (10:07):
Fuck, they don't do it. It's so good.

Speaker 3 (10:10):
It's so good though, it's fucking right up our alley, Yetta,
give me a second, pop, give me a second.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Let me find this because I got to read. This
is too good. Yeah, yeah, if you don't mind. Okay,
I couldn't find the actual article that they're that they're
reading off of.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Seventy two hours into a frea cough? Did he instruct
me to lock hands with Family Matters star Reginald vel
Johnson and Yelloee as he slid through our legs on
a looped up floor?

Speaker 1 (10:35):
You telling me a positive?

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (10:36):
You have a positive? For a second, Just a little
little story here.

Speaker 3 (10:40):
This is this is someone who testified against against did
he testified against p Didty? He was a male escort
that was hired and he was participated in some of
like the freak off events.

Speaker 2 (10:50):
Okay, listen to this fucking story about all said.

Speaker 4 (10:54):
Just listen to six well seventy two hours into a
freak cough? Did he instruct me to lockhands with Family
Matters star Reginald vel Johnson and yell Wee as he
slid through our legs on a loobed up floor gently
grazing our balls with the back of his hand before
double bouncing nineties rapper Jabrule onto my genitals by way
of Minnie trampoline, completely knocking naked comedian Bruce Bruce.

Speaker 1 (11:15):
Off his loubed up big wheel bike.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
It was at this point did he yelled, hey jaw
quit hoog, and the dick grabbed me by my velcrove vests,
stuck myself and rabber Paul Wall to the Wheel of
Pleasure on the hotel wall, which Cassie stepped over dustin
Patrick Runnell's naked body to begin spinning while blasting circus music.
As the wheel spun, I became unstuck and was knocked
unconscious from the fall, only to wake up to mister
Wall being instructed to retrieve his grill from my anal

(11:39):
cavity while did he chanted we Gone Fishing into his megaphone,
But as I attempted to stand up, still dizzy, I
slipped on the loob, bumping one of the monitors displaying
a video called the Cassie's Now Husband, and was instructed
that my tenure at the Freakoff had been terminated due
to that infraction.

Speaker 6 (11:54):
It was at this point I walked into the hotel
wearing nothing but a nineteen ninety one ECW championship belt
as instructed, introduced myself to the Fellas and Cassie's now
husband via video call, and began fulfilling my request to
place the belt at the.

Speaker 1 (12:08):
Top of the ladder.

Speaker 6 (12:08):
Before did he leapfrogged over both Reginald and myself, screaming
is gone rain, and began urinating on himself, Reginald rapper CHINGI,
Cassie and myself, completely ching only scuba mask he had
placed on me, as well as knocking comedians Cedric the
Entertainer and New York Mayor Eric Adams off their two
man sibbean. I was then asked to slide over to

(12:29):
freakoff northeast corner and enter the conga line position between
athlete Bruce Jenner and scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson. While did
he mounted the ladder, proclaimed that black does crack, then
bent over to expose his anus while making eye contact
with me through his legs and whispering peekaboo. Noticing that
eye contact was made, which he considered a freak off infraction,

(12:51):
he demanded I sign my freak ignation with his dildo.

Speaker 1 (12:54):
Pen and I was escorted out of the room.

Speaker 6 (12:56):
Without pay by who appeared to be Will Smith in
a mesh refe reoutfit. O.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
Mother of god, I'm sure that's a bit, but still
that's chaotic.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
I'll give credit to those guys. That's YouTube. That's Ryan
Along boys cast. Yeah, there you go. That's wild. Man.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
Can you imagine sliding and need someone fucking hitting someone's
ball sack and a line of ball sacks, speedbagging on
the slipping slide, spad bagging a bag. Oh dude, I
was fucking dying laughing when I was watching that.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
I never get invited to these freak offs, man, man,
I just want to go and watch.

Speaker 2 (13:33):
I just want to see, like, yeah, what kind of
shit goes on.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
I'll wear an e c W belte. I'll make it
to that ladder so fast, all the way to the top.

Speaker 5 (13:40):
Boy.

Speaker 1 (13:41):
Oh man. All right, let's take a break for our
newest sponsor, Extreme Championship Wrestling. All right, thank you guys
for the sponsorship. Oh man, So this episode we're talking about, uh,
one of my most favorite things, man, just history, love

(14:02):
it history in general. Yeah, and uh, we've all been there.
You're sitting in school half away memorizing textbook paragraphs so
we don't bomb the next quiz exam. One of a
bunch of the things we learned were just total bullshit,
which some of the things that we were taught growing up.
Absolutely the history books are incorrect. Yeah, you know how

(14:25):
long we were told about fucking Christopher Columbus being a hero.
There's a pretty good, pretty good chunk in here about Christopher.
There's the majority of what we were taught the entire time,
our entire school tenure. And you know, I've talked about
this before, where there were we have a science book
when I was a kid, and it talked about the extinction,
extinction of the dinosaurs, and there was this picture of
aliens getting on a UFO and I just could never

(14:47):
get that out of my brain. That was in a
science book.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
That's cool as fuck.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Though, Yeah, I wish I could. I wish I could
find that where Chad GBT can help me find that.
You know, but oftentimes throughout history, the history books, Oh,
they've been inaccurate and they've lied because the truth gets
changed over generations and generations and generations, to the point

(15:15):
that the data that you're getting is not actually it's
not actually true.

Speaker 2 (15:22):
You know that sharks are among one of like the
longest living creatures like ever, Like they've lived through like
three mass extinctions.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
There's that one. Is it a New Finland shark or something?
Those things are seven or eight hundred years old and
still still alive.

Speaker 3 (15:36):
Well, they say, they say that sharks in general like
they out they they go back farther than the dinosaurs do,
which is pretty fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 (15:45):
The Greenland shark there you go, is the longest lived
vertebrate known, with some individuals estimated to be over four
hundred years old.

Speaker 3 (15:53):
Like they can live that long, that's yeah, but they
they can't be. I wouldn't think they'd be fucking bottom
feeders if they're.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
That's a shark that's been a live since the sixteen hundreds.

Speaker 2 (16:04):
Dude, can you imagine running across that fucking shark.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
He is just tired of people's shit. That motherfucker has
lived through facebook, uh, porn bush, the Civil War, the
American Revolutionary War, moats, castles, He's lived through all of it.

Speaker 2 (16:31):
I'm sick of you fucking humans shitting in my water.
You know how hard it is to digest the turn I'd.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Love to interview a greenland shark.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Dude, he's probably great, like to get off my lawn
like type of fucking like old grouchy man.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
So they call you a Greenland shark because you poop
a lot, So I would start that interview.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
Oh, dude, that poor shark.

Speaker 1 (16:54):
There's a tombstone or there's a lot of tombstones, tombston
and pizza at Walmart with just sausage on. Okay, all right,
serious cemetery down the road? Fuck, what are we?

Speaker 2 (17:10):
What's going on right now?

Speaker 5 (17:12):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (17:12):
Okay, okay. There's a cemetery down the road, and every
weekend there's this little old man. He looks like he's
every bit of like eighty years old, Okay, And he
sits there on his wife's headstone all week in long.
That's satisfycing dude. And he writes her love notes and
he leaves him there and just about that, how just
like their love is the strongest love that's ever happened.

(17:33):
And while I do think that's beautiful, I don't think
that their love is as strong as the love that
you and I have, but I do think they probably sure,
But he's just and everyone always stops and talks to him,
and everyone always posts on the local Facebook group that
he just has so many great stories. I thought about
just parking up there with the microphone and stopping and
talking to him. See if he would do an interview

(17:54):
about just like an improp to pop up. Let's talk
about your really cool talk about your wife. Yeah, talk
about you getting sunburnt sitting here all day it's fucking
ninety something outside.

Speaker 5 (18:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:07):
Sometimes he'll set there with an umbrella when it's really
hot and just sit there and sit there with his wife. Man,
that's love, dude, it is love. Even after my wife dies,
I'll probably just stay at the house. Yeah, I mean, man,
I need to go talk to him.

Speaker 5 (18:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:25):
They that for for real, for real, You got to
that's something you gotta do.

Speaker 1 (18:29):
Check him out, get some marriage advice.

Speaker 3 (18:31):
Yeah, just see if he fucking wants to talk. So,
if you'll do an interview, show me some tricks. I
feel like that's a that's a great conversation to be
had right.

Speaker 1 (18:37):
There, and he'd probably relish it.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, And that's all good and good and dandy. But
let's get back to these tombstone pizzas.

Speaker 1 (18:45):
Fucking well, I got sidetrack said Tombstone, and I started
thinking about pizza.

Speaker 2 (18:50):
I fuck with Tombstone pizzas, man.

Speaker 1 (18:52):
I fuck with all pizzas. I don't, I do, I
do too. Pizzas are like my favorite, but I'm still
doing this seventy five hard bullshit. And my wife got
Jets pizza the other night, which is like, I haven't
had Jets. My favorite pizza, Detroit style, giant three inch
thick crusts with cup pepperonis and just covered in cheese.

(19:13):
I like me a good old fucking deep dish. And
it didn't take a single bite your donna. After everybody
went to bed, I looked around and I walked up
to it and I picked up a piece and I
got it right here and I put it back, look
at you. I went got some Okio's yogurt. She tasted
like fucking cum dude, it's naturally. I was happy.

Speaker 2 (19:36):
It's really good for your sweet tooth.

Speaker 3 (19:38):
If you if you want, if you're trying to eat
good and you want something for your sweet tooth, that
works really good.

Speaker 1 (19:43):
For my sweet tooth, I'll get a banana or vanilla Okio's.
And then I got the powdered protein peanut butter and
I put that in the yogurt. I mix it up
till it turns in like a fluff and it's like
a like a peanut butter moose.

Speaker 3 (19:56):
Hell yeah, and you're getting your protein in Yeah, dude,
I had some fun. I had a little thing of
chili today and some tuna chili chili I did.

Speaker 2 (20:08):
And you're gonna get diaper change two separate times.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
I'm fucking I took in like one hundred grams of
fucking protein today.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
It's biohazard onto the topic. So we've I got we
covered multiple things here. This is gonna be one of
those episodes where we kind of run through a lot
of different things and talk about them and uh probably
interject our our own anecdotes. So we just want to
give you guys, one last good episode before I ran

(20:37):
blows us off the face of the fucking earth. You
know what we're hoping for.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Maybe they listened to us over there and they'll make
sure to not bomb us.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
The Ayatola of Rock and Roller, that's Chris Jericho, but
the Ayatola is the the kids. I had to come
home early today from work. I had a little ointment
to get to and the I heard the kids talking.
They were watching TV. They're like, we, uh, what, what's

(21:07):
gonna happen with Iran? Before I could even before they
could even finish saying, I was like, We're gonna fucking die.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
He probably calls that chaos.

Speaker 5 (21:17):
Oh do.

Speaker 1 (21:17):
They started screaming. You know, it's like when little girls
get It was like when uh Dale and Brennan find
out their parents are divorcing at the end of Step Brothers. Yea,
oh man, Yeah, they were scared. It's funny. I'm kidding, dude,
come on, but we are. I will no. First topic,

(21:43):
We're gonna talk about something that was portrayed in the
history books. Napoleon Bonabart. He has been a poster child
for short man syndrome for centuries. Oh yeah, he has
Napoleon complex. Is even in the dictionary. If you got
someone in your life is kind of overbearing or just

(22:05):
got too pushy, you say, oh, he's got Napoleon syndrome.
He's got the fucking little man's disease. Yeah, he's a midget. No,
you don't say that, that's that's I say it.

Speaker 3 (22:17):
Yeah, yeah, I always think about him having his fucking
arm tucked in his shirt too, Remember how the picture
would always show like that.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
Well, actually, Napoleon wasn't unusually short for the times. He
was around five six or five seven, which was that's
like seven foot three now, I mean, right, which was
pretty average for a Frenchman in the early eighteen hundreds. Yeah,
Frenchmen are usually short anyways. That's five seven where my
short king's at?

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Yeah, right, fucking here, brother, I'm not five seven, but
still you're like five ten yeah, yeah, five nine ish.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
The confusion came from a difference between French and British
units of measurement and a healthy dose of British propaganda.
So the whole tiny tyrant image mostly made up, was
mostly made up to make him look ridiculous.

Speaker 3 (23:02):
By fucking some bean and toast eat and bucktooth motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Wait, hold, say Drew, let's call him really short, hey,
Scott now, probably had said Scott little Man's complex. I
love you guys over there. I am working through all
the Harry Potters right now.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
The movies are the books.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
The movies just started. Uh, Prisoner of a.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Man best one, and I haven't best one.

Speaker 1 (23:32):
Chamber of Secrets. I find that hard to be topped.

Speaker 2 (23:35):
Best One Prisoner of a Man by far By Far
by Far.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yeah, it's fucking great. It's the book. The book especially
is so awesome.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
I cannot That's the one thing I'm like, I'm really
excited to see the new series, even though they're making
some really weird casting choices. I'm super excited because the
series is supposed to be true to.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
The books all the way through. I can't I can't wait.

Speaker 3 (24:04):
They started taking a lot of liberties with the films
because the books were getting longer and longer as each
one came, and obviously you can't make besides the last,
the last.

Speaker 1 (24:12):
Two they divide up into two movies. How did you
did you ever play the video game, the newest Hogwarts Legacy? Yeah? Yeah,
I started playing. It was good by I kind of stop.
I got bored of it.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
Yeah yeah, I got like three quarters of the way
through and then I stopped playing.

Speaker 1 (24:26):
Yep, So Napoleon he was. He was a short king,
just like us. And that's what's up, man. That's one
thing that if you ever meet us in person, you'll say, Wow,
you've got really big radio voices. You're not very tall, hey,
But it's all we can do. You gotta do something.

Speaker 2 (24:45):
There's some give and take with everything right with life.

Speaker 1 (24:47):
We can't afford that leg surgery. You know they do
those leg extensions now, or they have you seen that.
I've seen that surgery. Or they cut your calf, your
shin and they add a boner to it or whatever
and then they make you tall.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
I feel like that's only asking for fucking problems later
in life.

Speaker 1 (25:03):
I just want to be able to dunk of basketball.

Speaker 2 (25:08):
Fortunately, we're right, White brother.

Speaker 1 (25:11):
Did you speaking of basketball, did you watch the NBA
Finals last night?

Speaker 3 (25:15):
I didn't, but I saw the clip of his his
achilles popping.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
You can see it pop, and that sucks because he's
a fucking beast, is a dog. He was killing it
as good.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
Yeah, that's It's sad. It's really sad.

Speaker 1 (25:29):
Another topic that I've been kind of fascinated with over
the years is Vikings. I've watched a lot of Viking
documentaries and I played Assassin's Creed Valhalla. I started to
watch Vikings on Netflix, but then only got like one
episode in and started watching Sopranos instead. Yeah, but I
think the Viking lore and just everything associated with it,

(25:51):
I think it's fascinating.

Speaker 2 (25:52):
It's yeah, it's uh, and.

Speaker 1 (25:55):
They're not really what they were portrayed as, right, right.

Speaker 3 (25:57):
It's one of those things that, like, it seems really
fucking cool and manly, and then you learn about all
the ship that they did.

Speaker 1 (26:04):
I think they did a lot of gay stuff.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
Well, I mean that's that's cool, you know what I mean,
it's fun as far as today's standards go.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
That's really cool. Open up, be yourself, open up your
fucking butt, open your boyfriend's butt cheeks.

Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, dude, just go right in.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
Spit in there. Right, Hey, if you ever had your
butthole spit in, send us an email. Brohio Podcast at
gmail dot com. We'd love to interview you.

Speaker 2 (26:24):
One thing we will not do is yuck. Someone's young.

Speaker 1 (26:27):
We're fucking speak for yourself.

Speaker 2 (26:28):
We're talleran as fuck.

Speaker 3 (26:31):
You don't need another dude's butt, go for it. You don't
need another girl's butt. Ship me too, brother.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
Well you're golfing with this guy? Yeah, Well I didn't.
I didn't know the guy like you.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
Just yeah, just golf partner.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
He was just there.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Yeah, because you can put with if you're in a
team of two. A friend that brought somebody, okay, okay,
and the guy just.

Speaker 1 (26:52):
Wasn't talking the entire time. You know, I was being
nick I was giving my shtick. I was telling jokes
and stuff, being kind of inappropriate, right, and then just
out of nowhere, this dude's like fifty. I hope he's
not listening, But does he know about the show? I
think he does. He said, my wife flipped me fuck

(27:13):
her in the ass the other night. I was like, oh, okay,
just land un solicited, right, really weird. Just my wife
flipp me fuck her in the ass the other night.

Speaker 2 (27:25):
Sounds like a punchline, I thought.

Speaker 1 (27:27):
So I was waiting for the other half. Yeah. Yeah,
And I was like, god, damn brother, howd that go.
He's like, oh, it's shitty. I don't like it. Just
complains the entire time. Yeah, It's just kind of like,
what are you trying to tell me right now?

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Are you saying you have a huge dick or she
is a tight asshole?

Speaker 1 (27:44):
He did not portray big dick energy. And another creepy
encounter I have the other day. This wasn't on craigslist,
this was in real person. One of my favorite things
to do is when the Reds have the businessman special.
I work not I worked maybe fifteen minutes from the stadium,
so close the day games, I'll go watch the day game.

(28:05):
I'll leave work, take a half day and go watch
the game. And in right field there's these uh like
bar tables and you can just walk up there and
we're almost vomited. You just walk up there and stand
at these bar tables and you just like hang out
with people and eat and drink and you don't have
to these these aren't assigned seats. It's like a little
balcony area. There's yeah, there's like a three tiered balcony. Yeah,

(28:27):
and there's a bar up there and you're on top
of everything. It's really cool, really cool vibe everyone. It's
a party area, yea, but on a day game there's
not a whole lot of people there Anyways. Like I said,
there's three tiers up there, and I was the top tier,
and there were there weren't There wasn't any like a
table and chairs the top tier. But there's still a

(28:47):
bar that runs the entire length of it that you
can look out onto the field. And I'm just leaning
on the bar and there's this guy next to me.
It's this dude, salt and pepper mustache, probably twelve fourteen
inch pony pepper, big bushy mustache, big bulbous, just fat nose,
eyebrows pouring out of his Nemesis sunglasses. A fucking man,

(29:11):
it's a specimen. Just a creepy Crawley dude.

Speaker 2 (29:14):
Yeah, okay, okay, creepy Crawley, gotcha.

Speaker 1 (29:16):
And he's wearing those sandals. Oh shit. He was he
a hippie? No, he wasn't a hippie. I think he
thought these were just like these roque to.

Speaker 2 (29:23):
Wear a gotcha, it's never okay for a guy to
wear sandals in public.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
Well, these are the sandals like it, straps over the
toe and over the ankle. What are those called?

Speaker 3 (29:31):
Those are like the fucking the Jesus two thousands, the
Jerusalem Cruisers, cruisers, something like that.

Speaker 1 (29:38):
Uh. But the scariest part of it. His toenails were
the color of a banana, oh dude. And they were
as long as a banana. That's uh uh. They're all
rolled over and long, and it just looked like you
need a fucking like a husk of varna chainsaw to
take these things down.

Speaker 3 (29:57):
If you're a dude, unless you're going to the fucking
beach or the pool. It's it's a hard, fucking noe.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
And he had these sandals tight dude, Oh dude, I
think he had some circulation issues or something. But in
front of us, there was four ladies at a table
and they looked like they're probably in their fifties. This
older ladies out together and joined the game. Yeah, and uh,
he leans over. So when he leans over from where

(30:22):
we're at, he's essentially like hovering over top of them, right,
And he goes, ladies, how many cats do you guys
have between the four of you? And I took a
step back and I.

Speaker 3 (30:33):
Was like, first of all, that's funny as fuck, that's
fucking hilarious.

Speaker 2 (30:41):
Was he would you say he was younger than them
or was he right around the same probably.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
The same age, just hard life. Yeah, he said, ladies,
how many cats you got between the four of you?
And he did this with his fingers like he was
fucking righting in the clouds. He was just like pointing
over top of it. Okay, And I took a step
back just to establish that I was not with him
or associated him with anyway. And uh, they just kind

(31:08):
of gave him the side eye. Did the answer he said,
he you're probably wondering why I'm asking, and the one
he's like, yeah, I'm anxious to know, and he's like,
yes' four middle aged chicks in the ball game and
middle of day, you know, your cat ladies, and they
look fucking appalled.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
Man, I see his logic though, you know what I mean,
I understand where he's coming from.

Speaker 1 (31:33):
Would I ever say that, No, you can usually pinpoint
cat people right. Apparently he did. And he leaned like
he leaned over the bar to talk to them. And
I looked down at his feet and his toenails were
touching the ground because he was leaned over so far,
claws in talents. He dug his talons in so he

(31:55):
couldn't fall over the top of the Oh, dude, lady,
what's that bowling for? Soup song? Girl? The bad guys once? Yeah,
girl likes them with the mustache. Race track season past.
That's who that guy reminded me of.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
Okay, Oh what a fucking crazy, fucking dude.

Speaker 1 (32:16):
Man cruising in a trans am doesn't mull make a man.
There's no way I could ever just say that to somebody.
I'd love to be able to. But there's no sandals
like that too, with baboon toenails. Yeah, that's wild, all right.
Vikings are the next one here in their imaginary horns.

(32:37):
That's right. Every Halloween costume and every metal album cover
shows Viking vikings rocking horned helmets, but in reality, no
historical evidence has ever been produced that supports that Vikings
wore horned helmets. Interesting archaeological digs of Viking burial sites

(32:57):
have turned up plenty of helmets, none of which have horns.
The idea came from nineteenth century romanticized depictions, especially operas
like Wagner's during nebul Lungeon, where costume designers added horns
for a dramatic effect. That makes sense, Yeah, that makes sense.
Horns in battle would have been a terrible idea. They

(33:18):
would have gotten caught on everything and make your head
an easy target. Real Viking helmets were utilitarian iron caps
with noseguards meant for protection, not flair. Okay. Also, Vikings
were traders, settlers, and explorers, not just bloodthirsty berserkers. The
horn helmet image is just one more myth. I think

(33:40):
they were rapers and pillagers too, But let's fucking uh,
I'm a raper. Let's not. That's a fucking whitewash that
I guess. I think there's a small percentage that were
probably criminal vagrants, but uh, not all of them, just like.

Speaker 2 (33:55):
You can't yeah, you can't say. You can't say all.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
Of them, not all of them. Yeah, but whatever they
are raping, they weren't doing with horned helmets. Yeah, no,
not at all. They may have been horny, but they
were wearing helmets. And where's my horny bros At stay horny, dude.

Speaker 3 (34:13):
Cheers brother, stay horned up, especially when you fucking we
started talking about tombstone pizzas.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
Dude, I'll stay rocked up, like mister potato head, Is
that the thing? Does he do that? If you don't know,
then you don't know. I guess you don't know, and
you don't know, you know they're coming out with another
toy story, like a toy story five. I don't know.
Toy story is good, man, it is, It is great,

(34:41):
but you gotta get a toy story a landa Disney.
That's where it's at. Three.

Speaker 3 (34:47):
Toy story three was fucking That was a gut punch.
That was it, man, That was That was where you
can hang it up. That's a good one to hang
a good one, and then you can just do spinoffs
from there, you know what I mean? That was I mean,
all all three of the first ones were in tread
is phenomenal.

Speaker 1 (35:05):
For it wasn't bad. I just, yeah, kind of an
ode to my child just a ode to farewell in
my childhood. I felt like I was kind of leaving
it behind.

Speaker 3 (35:13):
You know what, My my son's getting into now, which
he's watched this movie three times within the past week,
and it's a movie that I abs so fucking lutely
love and I love that he's like getting into it
and he's like really liking everything about it. It's fucking
Scott Pilgrim Versus the World. And I know I've talked
about this movie before.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
I've never seen that, dude. It's so good. It's so good.

Speaker 3 (35:33):
It's a book but like Michael Sarah's in it, Anna Kendrick,
Chris Evans, Aubrey Plaza.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
It's it's so good.

Speaker 3 (35:42):
So it's it's shot like, it's like it's got really
crazy transitions and it's very comic. Bookie, Okay, it's it's
on Netflix. I do believe you have to watch it.
You have to watch it. You're gonna love it.

Speaker 1 (35:55):
I know you will.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
It's a it's a fucking great twenty ten Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
So good.

Speaker 3 (36:03):
Macaulay Culkin's brother, Kyron Culkin's in it. He's one of
the one of the big characters. But the essentially the
plot is he finds this girl and in order to
get with her, he's got to fight her ex boyfriends.
And it's like all the fight scenes are like Arcade
beat him up style. Yeah, fight scenes. It's so cool.

(36:26):
It's great. It's a great movie.

Speaker 1 (36:27):
Oh well, I'll check that one out as long as
he promises on Netflix.

Speaker 3 (36:31):
I believe that that's what we watched on last night.
All right, watch it and let me know. If you
don't love it, I'll give your money back.

Speaker 1 (36:37):
That's not what I want from you. Okay, then you
be a little more explicit.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Name it, brother, You're gonna pay With that mouth so confident,
I feel like it's it's it's a super cool, cheesy,
fun movie.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
That'll be right up my ass's fun, fun, fun fun. Okay,
what do we gott next here? How about what we
talked about earlier Christopher Columbus, Yeah, we were all taught
that in fourteen ninety two, Columbus sail the ocean blue
and discovered America. Except he didn't. And we're so convinced

(37:13):
as a population that this motherfucker did discover America. So
we named a whole ass day off after him, and
we closed all the goddamn banks.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
The capital or our fucking city is named after him.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Oh yeah, Eric, our state, our capitol, verse city, capital
verse state.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
Is we gotta change the name of Columbus. Yeah, we do.
What should we change it? Tom Corn Cobb, dildo, We've
got one of those, that's true, we do. Let's think
about that.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
What's the vice president's name? Jd Vance Vance vance Land.

Speaker 1 (37:49):
I'll go over like a turn to punch bowl.

Speaker 3 (37:50):
Will What a fun, fun week this has been for politics?
Actually great, I tell you, fucking awesome. Columbus, he actually
he didn't land in America. He landed in the Bahamas,
and he never even set foot on the North American mainland.
He thought he reached Asia, and he never stopped believing.

(38:13):
That fucking idiot. Get a GPS, you fucking more, chick,
fucking Google ways exists, brother.

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Indigenous civilizations had already lived on continent for thousands of years,
and if we're talking European explorers, Leif Ericson, a Norse explorer,
beat Columbus by nearly five hundred years. Around one thousand AD,
Ericson landed in what is now Newfoundland, Canada and established
a short lived settlement called Vinland. Columbus's expeditions were motivated

(38:47):
by a desire for fine gold, spices and a new
trade route to Asia. That's crazy to me, the hundreds
of years ago that one of the most sought after
current seas was spices. Isn't that funny? I can go
to Kroger right now and I can get about eight
metric ton of cinnamon for four dollars.

Speaker 5 (39:08):
Right.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
They used to fucking buy blow jobs with cinnamon back
in the sixteen hundreds. Dude, fourteen hundreds, Right, you didn't
need cocaine. If you legitimately had a bag of cane sugar,
you could get four guys that lick you from top
to bottom like a cat.

Speaker 3 (39:24):
Can you imagine traveling around the world just to find
some fucking cilantro and just realize it tastes like soap?

Speaker 2 (39:31):
I be pissed. We need this for tacos.

Speaker 1 (39:38):
I don't know, dude, I I I have started seasoning
my food a lot more because I've been.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
Eating my overseason eating some bland chicken.

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Shit.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
Yeah, there's nothing worse than bland food.

Speaker 1 (39:50):
No, there's not. There's really not.

Speaker 2 (39:52):
Did you look forward to the food you eat.

Speaker 1 (39:54):
We got a cafe at my work and they serve
chicken tika masala the other day. Oh yeah, that's a
bunch them. It's a bunch of non non teak and
masla looking people in there. I said this, I don't
know what this one bite. I'm telling you, guys, this
is the first time I've ever put something in my
mouth like this that just didn't have any like. You

(40:16):
couldn't if you would have blindfolded me, I couldn't have
told you what it was. Yeah, that sucks, dude. We
used to play this game back in high school called
Who's in Your Mouth? Where we blindfold each other. Been
there and uh, we wouldn't feed each other food, but
we would take turns suck each other's cocks. And I

(40:37):
don't know why.

Speaker 3 (40:38):
I thought you were gonna beat around the bush, but
you just laid it all out there. I thought you're
just gonna tiptoe around what your actual intention was. But no, never, dude,
who's in your mouth, with with all due respect, get
out of my room. I mean, this is the most
respectful way. This is gonna sound so fucking awful. If

(40:58):
I'm meaning chicken take a and it's not from like
a smelly brown person, I don't want to, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 1 (41:05):
I want that authentic I feel you, man, I love
it so yeah. He was motivated by fining gold spices
and a new trade route to Asia. Instead, he initiated
centuries of exploitation and colonization. He and his men captured,
enslaved the Tano people, forcing him into labor and gold

(41:26):
mines and plantation. Those who resisted were brutally punished, mutilated, hanged,
or burned alive, and one infamous act, he ordered that
any native who failed to bring a quote of gold
would have their hands cut off oul. His governance of
the colonies was so cruel that even Spanish authorities later

(41:46):
arrested and returned him to Spain and chains. Despite this,
Columbus was turned into a folk hero in the nineteenth
and twentieth centuries, particularly by Italian American community seeking to
establish whole, true legitimacy and a new homeland. Columbus Day
was born out of this desire for recognition, and a

(42:07):
massive pr campaign reframed him as a bowl explorer rather
than a colonizer and a raper and a murderer. Yeah,
statues were built, cities named, and history books were whitewashed.
But beneath that heroic image lies a story of a conquest, disease,
and destruction, not one of exploration and discovery. What a

(42:31):
fucking pile of shit.

Speaker 5 (42:33):
He was.

Speaker 3 (42:34):
Fucking white Guilt's real, man, Sometimes it sucks in the
fucking enemy.

Speaker 1 (42:39):
I'm not related to that guy. That's true, we're not.
But still still, man, I don't think we should do honestly,
knowing all that, I don't know that we should have
Columbus Day anymore. This shouldn't be a thing. I've never
read into that. I know people get upset about Columbus Day.
I'm just like, why is everybody upset? And I read this,
I said, what an asshole? Look at you.

Speaker 2 (43:00):
Look throughout history, white people kind of suck.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
What a dipshit. Yeah, they've done some bad shit.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
We fucking yeah, our people, our ancestors sucked.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
I'm still not paying reparations. I barely have enough money
paying my own bills. Yeah, I kept fucking on for reparation.
I can't afford to pay attention you're trying to give
me to pay people back from hey, two hundred years ago.
Every now and then I'll round up a taco bell.
It's about what I'm all I'm doing. Yeah, man, I
pay it forward all the time. Yeah. I'll go to
uh McDonald's and I'll say, hey, how much the person's

(43:28):
behind me. They're like seventeen dollars. I'll say, Okay, I'm
not I'm not paying that never mind, But I thought
I think about it all the time. Yeah, heaven forbid,
do it Chick fil A that shits sixty dollars a bag.
I will say.

Speaker 3 (43:39):
There, you know, whenever you are on the receiving end
of that, there is not a better feeling.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
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I feel like jumping out of the car and chase
me down and trying to give him a blowy, like
a yeah, I want you to know how much this
meaning to me, and I need to show you.

Speaker 3 (47:24):
What's what's really awkward, though, is when you pull up
and they're like, oh, the car in front of you paid,
and they kind of just look at you.

Speaker 2 (47:30):
Just staring at you through the mirror, and you're just like, yeah,
I do thanks.

Speaker 1 (47:35):
Just make this awkward.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
The cashier is like looking at you like they're waiting
for you to say, oh, let me get the person behind.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
Me, do the most, uncover the most. Yeah, that's what
I'm saying. That's the most uncomfortable feeling is whenever they're like, oh,
I decided to pay it for the person in front
of you paid. I'm like, hell, yeah, thanks, that's it.
And you sit there and wait for your egg McMuffin
you're diet coke.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Like sorry, I had to pay for dance classes.

Speaker 1 (47:59):
Can Oh yeah, brother, I didn't even have enough money
to buy my own.

Speaker 3 (48:07):
That person's obviously doing better than I am. Financial Liza,
let him have it.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
Yeah, you know what I would like to pay for
the person behind me? Do you take checks? Don't catch
us until Monday. Yeah, I'm gonna move some shit around.
Can you wait till the end of the month to
cash this please?

Speaker 2 (48:23):
It's just my fucking coffee.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
What about old George Washington? This is one of my
favorite stories in all of history. I think about when
I think about the first president, I think about a stoic, loyal,
brave old man with wooden teeth, right, wooden chompers. Yeah,
that's not quite how it actually went down. The myth

(48:49):
that George Washington had wooden teeth is as persistent as
it is false. Washington had serious dental dude. I bet
that breath smell like a hot dog meat. But like
you say, turtleneck, yeah, it smell like fucking dead frogs.

Speaker 3 (49:07):
Shane Gillis is George Washington bit is like the best
fucking thing ever.

Speaker 1 (49:11):
You know what I'm talking about? Have you heard it? God?
It's so good. Oh, he's just like, did you imagine
finally getting to meet him. You're like, mister Washington, I've
been waiting my and he's like high love America. Oh
my god.

Speaker 3 (49:27):
And those people, those people whose breath really stinks, they're
very like, uh, they're very breathy with the way they talk. Yeah,
they hit those h is really hard.

Speaker 7 (49:38):
How are you happy holidays? Happy holidays? Honestly, Honicah's hopefully here.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
You're like, God, damn, Burt, get chill the fuck out.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
It's always like it's either like really just really bad breath,
or it's like the smell of like cigarettes and Coca cola.

Speaker 1 (50:04):
Eat a pine cone, bitch, you know, hang a little
tree from his neck, a rear view mirror, steaky bitch.
Oh ship. Whenever I talked to someone with really bad breath,
I hold my nose. They're like, there'll be they'll be like,
oh dude.

Speaker 5 (50:22):
I was like, I was in there and I thought
it when I was in there taking a ship and
somebody came in and they're trying to clean the bathroom
when I'm trying to drink my coffee and beeble.

Speaker 1 (50:33):
And I'm just like, oh, yeah, man, my bridge, ain't
your man? My friend and ship.

Speaker 5 (50:40):
Dude, you're a cool man.

Speaker 1 (50:43):
What was the eighties? Like? God, oh dude, to be
so unaware of yourself that you have breath that smells
like rotting fish ass and you just bestowed upon everybody, you.

Speaker 3 (51:04):
Just and that's and that's the thing, because you know,
you know those people, you can tell, you can tell
when you you know when your breath is a little offer,
when you fucking are a little a little ripe, you
know what I mean. Yeah, and you you try to
prevent other people from from partaking in that. But to
have no to have no care in the fucking world.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
You've heard that hard r well at hard age holotosis.
That's what I'm afraid of. Yeah, God damn, dude, it's
wild upsets me, dude, bad breath upsets me.

Speaker 2 (51:35):
It's it's yeah, it's bad, really bad.

Speaker 1 (51:39):
I know we're talking a lot about terrorism and ship,
but bad breath is worse than that. It's it doesn't
I mean, it doesn't take much to fucking fix. It doesn't.
Brush him, dude, Yeah, fucking brush your goddamn battery acid Well.
Washington had serious dental problems, and he wore multiple sets
of dentures. Throughout his life. Listen here some of his teeth.

(52:00):
They were made from various different products, including ivory, gold
led an actual human teeth he had led in his
fucking mouth, and other people's teeth. Oh Onundry died when
he was like twenty, some of which the teeth were
bought from enslaved people. The wooden teeth myth probably came

(52:21):
from the way uh stained ivory looked over time, brown
and grainy, kind of like wood. Washington hated his dentures.
They caused him pain and his figurement, which is why
many of his portraits show a tight lipped expression. So, no,
he didn't whittle himself a mouthful of oak. But the
real story is arguably even more uncomfortable.

Speaker 3 (52:41):
You think that he would have just fucking he would
have just whindled the way of the fucking wood, just
whittled himself some.

Speaker 2 (52:48):
Teeth ivory, he had had fucking elephant.

Speaker 1 (52:51):
Elephant tusks up in that bitch slave teeth.

Speaker 3 (52:54):
Gold teeth. Gold teeth is kind of cool. That's that's
pretty sweet. Everytime I see someone with a with a
like a well placed gold tooth, oh yeah, just one, Yeah,
I'm like, that's like that's fucking cool.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
I've thought about that, especially one with like the diamond
in the middle of it. Oh yeah, that's flossy. The
tooth jewels, I think those look really cool. We should
look into that. I used to put a loud and
foil on my teeth and pretend I to grill right too,
Robbed the jewelry startel made me agree. Maybe ball speedbag

(53:27):
in people's nutsacks at freak costs. Maybe you want to
be featured on the Paul Wall bro Ohio, Paul Wall, Well,
you can send us a picture of your animal and
we'll put them up there. Yeah, this is an episode
we covered in the very beginning, Witches in Salem. We're
not actually burned. Yeah. When we think of Salem, we
think of the Salem witch Trials, with most people associate

(53:51):
with women or witches being burned to the steak. Why
was it always women? M hmm. I can't answer that question.
I don't know you think it is.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
I think it was just they were fucking scared of
a strong female.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Back in the day. Absolutely, you know, because.

Speaker 3 (54:12):
The women were fucking supposed to keep in line. Listen,
women conform. Women are lovely.

Speaker 1 (54:19):
Love it. I love it. I would never set one
on fire, No accused one. I've accused a woman of
being a witch before, sure, but I've never tried to
light a woman on fire. Never. I accidentally let myself
on fire once, And I told you about my neighbor
herself on fire then tried to molest me. Yeah, you
did well. Her brother lit her on fire inside of

(54:41):
a car. What a brother? What an asshole? Yeah, and
then that brother showed me his dick and I had
a tell on him. Yeah, he can't do that. You
guys need to go back and listen to that episode.
There was a big trauma dump there.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
That was like fucking two months ago, three months ago,
something like that.

Speaker 1 (54:56):
I'd say, it's a lot longer than that.

Speaker 2 (54:57):
Is it that times relative? I guess well, I.

Speaker 1 (55:00):
Could probably look back at my text messages between my
brother and I.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
And yeah, I remember the story, and I remember I
remember everybody fucking reaching out to you, like are you okay?

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Are you all right? I saw it or I heard
what you go I'm gone through and I'm so sorry,
I'm fine, Leave me alone. She was a humper.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
It was at that age where nobody wanted anything to
do with Nick, and he had, he had a good
he had.

Speaker 2 (55:31):
Something good going on at that point in time.

Speaker 1 (55:34):
I will where is not in here? I don't see it.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
That's a bummer. Maybe it was like earlier this year.

Speaker 5 (55:44):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (55:50):
Oh, here we go. I found it. Okay, Hey, Ryan,
this is to my younger brother. I pray that all
is well with you and your family. I know this
may sound crazy to you, but I was in a
camp meeting service the other night. This is from my
babysitter from when I was a young child who's reached
out to my brother and I and we're in our

(56:11):
fucking thirties now, and I was praying and God would
search my heart in life and would show me if
there was anything that was wicked or wrong in my
life that I might repent off or give it to him,
to surrender to him. And there in that moment, God
brought back a memory of you and your brother. I
do not know if you remember it or not, but
when you and your brother were young, I babysat you
one time and I had you all sit in between

(56:32):
my legs and I basically humped your hip bone. I'm
so ashamed of what I have done, and truly I
had to put it in the way back my memory
that I had not thought of just the fucking illiterate
ass bitch. I thought of it again the other night.
I know God wanted me to contact you and your
brother to ask you men for forgiveness. To most people,

(56:53):
this would be no big deal. It was something that
happened a long time ago when we were kids. But
it does matter, and a bunch of stuff about God.
God made her hump my leg. Told my wife about it.
She's like, you are pretty good looking. Did your brother
say anything back to her, oh, when I was five? Yeah,

(57:16):
I don't remember. I think he did. Can you imagine
somebody saying this and then you just leave him on red?
I think he said, leave me the fuck alone, you creep.
Yeah that makes sense. Yeah, that's a good response. So
she's still alive, she hasn't been burned. She might be
a witch anyways, who knows. When we think of the

(57:38):
Salem witch Trials, most people imagine women being burned to
the steak. That was europe style, particularly in Germany and
Scotland and Salem, Massachusetts. Between sixteen ninety two and sixteen
ninety three, twenty people were executed for witchcraft, and none
of them were burned. Nineteen were hanged, and one, Giles Cory,

(57:59):
was pressed to death under heavy stones for refusing to
enter a plea. Corey's last words were reportedly more weight damn.
The whole hysteria is fueled by paranoia, religious extremes, extremism,
and local grudges. The misconception that American witches were burned

(58:20):
likely comes from confusion with European practices and Hollywood dramatizations.
So we never actually burned any witches here in America.
Isn't that wild? That's crazy? Burned him at a steak
that never happened. I'm I was pretty confident that stuff.

Speaker 2 (58:37):
I'm sure it happened.

Speaker 1 (58:38):
Maybe someone would have said, has a witch ever been
burned in America?

Speaker 3 (58:41):
I say, fuck, yeah, yeah, And maybe it's one of
those things that it has happened. But it wasn't like
a complete You know, anytime anybody was thought to be
a witch, they bring them out, especially in Salem, and
they're going to burn them.

Speaker 1 (58:54):
They didn't have corn Cob dildo's back then.

Speaker 3 (58:56):
That's true, that's the problem. Everybody would be a witch
if they saw one of those.

Speaker 1 (59:00):
You think back then like the unwine. They would masturbate,
like now, you know, you get stressed out and you
just want chill out. You just a jerk off. Yeah
you think they did that?

Speaker 3 (59:07):
Shit, Probably not because their genitals probably smelled too bad.
Can I just be a downwind of that?

Speaker 1 (59:15):
Would you imagine just having a dick that stunk all
the time? Dude? You know back in the day during
the Salem witch trial that it did and they're all uncircumcised. Yeah,
it's it's super dirty. Well, it just hung in there. Yeah,
just Bramanda just growing cheese factory strong. You want some
sharp cheddar on those crackers? Which. Yeah. We were at

(59:40):
a really nice Mexican restaurant by my work. It's called Lojaibo.
You guy should check it out. But their food is
just some of the best Mexican food I've ever had.
There's a nice old Mexican woman that runs it. Yeah,
home cooked food. I love it. Cooked Mexican woman. Yeah.
I said, how is your food so good? She said,
what do you say, senor, how is your food so good?

(01:00:01):
Are you a witch? And she started laughing. She's like, no, no,
no brew ha no b I was like, what did
you say? She said, breuh witch. I said, you're a witch,
You're a brewj Brew ha. She was laughing really hard.
She's no no signor no no.

Speaker 5 (01:00:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
That's another thing like I can't. I can't go to
any whitey Mexican restaurant.

Speaker 1 (01:00:24):
Can't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
Taco Bell fucking that's good if you want something cheap.
But if you want I'll wreck Taco Bell.

Speaker 2 (01:00:30):
You'll get you get like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:31):
The fucking craven for Mexican food. You know what I mean,
put shared cheese and tacos.

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
He's the Mexican blend, a Mexican pizza.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Dude, it's Mexican food.

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
But god damn, a good fucking Mexican restaurant just it
just hits. They have inturidos, the rice and the beans.

Speaker 1 (01:00:50):
I mean, you just can't. I can ever make rice
or beans that taste like the Mexican restaurants does. I've
talked about this with my some of my other I
don't have many other friends besides you, but sometimes I
talk to him and I think, if I had to
choose any other nationality besides American, I would want to
be Mexican. Sure, because look, I'm down with tacos, burritos

(01:01:14):
I'm down with Modello's, I'm down with chiladas. They I'm down.
They like beer, they like to nap. Like like, there's
this old Mexican guy on TikTok and for lunch every
day he eats like a fucking stack of tortillas and beans. Dude,
I'm like, I could do that guacamole and I love

(01:01:34):
all of it and fucking big booty Latinas And.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
I'm telling you what. I'm telling you what. Don't deport
any of them motherfuckers, you know what I mean.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
My wife's from Phoenix, uh, And sometimes i'll make Mexican
food where there's tacos or stuff, and I'll say, am
I doing this right? She's like I don't know. And
I'm like, who the fuck are you? And she's like,
I'm from Phoenix, not Mexico. Yeah, I'm not a Mexican.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
There's that culture fucking rules it does. It's so it's
so cool, that's the thing. Like I feel like that
so many other cultures, so many other cultures are so cool.
Like I feel like the Indian culture is really fucking cool.
The Mexican, the Hispanic culture in general is really cool.
But we don't I feel like we don't really have that.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
We don't have cult We got.

Speaker 5 (01:02:27):
Colts.

Speaker 2 (01:02:28):
Yeah, you have colts.

Speaker 1 (01:02:29):
Yeah, serial killers. Yeah, we have the Indianapolis Colts. That's true.
That's true. That's true. What about Einstein? You know, I've
heard a lot of times over the years people will
say I used to fucking flunk math, and people say,
you know Einstein, he failed math class too.

Speaker 5 (01:02:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
One of the most widespread myths and and the and
education is that Albert Einstein, well, he failed math while
he was in school. It's often cited as proof that
even geniuses struggle, except that it is one hundred false.
Einstein was a math prodigy by the time he was
twelve years old. He was doing calculus and excelled in

(01:03:14):
subjects like algebra and geometry. The myth likely came from
a misinterpretation misinterpretation of a quote Einstein once gave, paired
with confusion over the Swiss grading system, where lower numbers
actually meant higher achievements. It's like golf, Einstein later said,
before I was fifteen, before I was fifteen, I amassed

(01:03:37):
a differential integral calculus. He may have had issues with
authority and non math subjects, but when it came to numbers.
Einstein was fucking Einstein.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (01:03:50):
That checks out. If feel was a nancha rail, yeah,
I feel like that checks out. And one of the
most fascinating events in history for me the Emancipation Proclamation.
The event that the proclamation that freed all the slaves
right false. The Emancipation Proclamation it freed some slaves, but

(01:04:14):
not all of them. It was issued by Abraham Lincoln
in eighteen sixty three. Is often hailed as the moment
slavery ended in America, but it didn't free all the slaves.
It applied only to states that were in the rebellion
or the Confederacy where the Union had no control at
the time. It did not affect slave holding border states Kentucky, Missouri,

(01:04:40):
or Delaware, which remained loyal to the Union. Lincoln's goal
was strategic, undermined the Confederacy's labor force and prevent foreign
powers from siding with the South. Slavery wasn't officially abolished
until the Thirteenth Amendment was ratified in eighteen sixty five,
nearly two years later, so while the proclamation was a

(01:05:02):
huge symbolic step, it was not the end all be
all sleep, Okay, very interesting.

Speaker 5 (01:05:09):
Sure.

Speaker 1 (01:05:09):
The assassination of Abraham Lincoln is my favorite history topic
in all of history topics. Yeah, there are some parts
in here about John Wilkes Booth, and we did an
episode on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln and the the
conspiracies surrounded around that. There's an AI video out right now.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
I was gonna I was gonna ask you if you've
seen that.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
Yeah, that's funny. Let's see if we can find Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
Yeah, So there's there's a huge AI is getting fucking
crazy with these stories and with these videos.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
Honestly, I don't like them, so I don't like them.
I sent you the one. I think I sent you
the one.

Speaker 3 (01:05:48):
And there's a big series on TikTok called Pleasant mart
and it's like it's it starts out and it's just
like a person holding microphone, like, Hi, we're here at
Pleasant martin. We're asking shoppers what do you buy in?
And then whatever happens afterwards, it's it's completely AI generated.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
But it's so fucking funny.

Speaker 2 (01:06:07):
It looks so real. And this is this is one
of those things the sasspots.

Speaker 1 (01:06:10):
Your boy, John Wilkes Booth got a little mission tonight
by to sneak into Ford's theater and crash out sheets
about to go historically viral.

Speaker 2 (01:06:17):
Trust all right, Gooner's we're inside now.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
I'm about to put this guy on a T shirt.
Mission is a go.

Speaker 5 (01:06:26):
Chat.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
We did it Mission complete, rolled my ankle on the jump,
but totally worth it. Drop a W booth in the chat.

Speaker 5 (01:06:33):
I'm out.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Drop a W.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
Booth in the chat.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
It looks it doesn't look fake at all.

Speaker 2 (01:06:43):
No, it doesn't look fake, and like its so I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:06:46):
I don't like ai man.

Speaker 3 (01:06:47):
Obviously obviously it's fucking real, but you know what I mean,
like it? It seems it's just fucking good.

Speaker 1 (01:06:54):
It's weird. Chastity belts, you know, there's things you put
on your wife to keep from the coming to the
house and clearing things up, were largely fictional. The chastity belt,
a metal contraption supposedly locked onto women by jealous husbands
before they left for war, is mostly a myth. Most

(01:07:14):
of the surviving examples are from the eighteen hundreds and
were never intended for actual use. Many were made as
a gag item, torture devices, or museum fakes. There's almost
zero evidence of widespread use during the Middle Ages. The
idea likely stems from victorianary obsessions with sexual morality and control.
Some scholars believe chastity belts may have existed, but they

(01:07:38):
were rare and not all common practice. The popular image
of armored underwear is more historical kink than medieval reality.
I think even a fucking armored underwear. Brother, I'm still
in serious negotiations with my wife about tidy whiteys.

Speaker 2 (01:07:54):
Oh you brought it up.

Speaker 1 (01:07:56):
I said, what would you What would it do for
our marriage? And she led with I would divorce you?
And I wrong if I wore tidy whities. Is what
you're trying to say? Yes, any other stupid questions? I said,
what if I was wearing them and you didn't know it?

(01:08:19):
Still got upset, doesn't want me to wear them. But
I think if I just get briefs, not necessarily white briefs, okay,
and I call them boty shorts. You already get them
already brown, get him prefudge striped. I need to talk

(01:08:39):
to Keebler and his elves and get him fudge striped.
Before get him fudge striped to the Amazon factory. Put
them in a small hole in a tree, budge stripes,
budge stripes, key bilers, fudge stripes.

Speaker 2 (01:08:50):
It's nott. The elves do their work.

Speaker 1 (01:08:52):
Yeah, I got elves living in my butt. That's my problem,
all right. So there's also a myth that human experimentation
only happened in Nazi Germany. Sure this is It's equivocally
false because the nineteen forties the nineteen seventies, the US

(01:09:13):
conducted radiation experiments on its own people, often without consent.
Terminally ill patients, pregnant women, and even children were injected
with plutonium. Damn, we're exposed to high doses of radiation.
In one case, mentally disabled boys a state school in
Massachusetts were fed radio active oatmeal by researchers from Harvard.

(01:09:35):
Why my own mule glowing my own tastes like need
to turn to lose? And this was thanks to Harvard
and MIT as part of a study sponsored by the
Atomic Energy Commission and none other the end quaker oats.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
Oh shit by a monster energy drink. Kyle, come fucking
get your radioactive oatmeal, your fucking idiot.

Speaker 1 (01:10:09):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
I would probably eat it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
I love oo I damn motherfucker to feed me radioactive oatmeal.
See if I don't eat it, I love oatmeal. I
will tear it.

Speaker 5 (01:10:18):
Love it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:19):
God, that's my go to breakfast right now, to oatmeal.
And I put that peebee powder in it, and I'll
drop some blueberries in it. Nice, maybe even a little
bit of honey shit.

Speaker 2 (01:10:27):
Oh boy, God damn, I fuck with oatmeal hard, love it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:33):
M This is a fun one too. The Pilgrims and
the First Thanksgiving. What was taught was the Pilgrims and
Native Americans sat down for a harmonious Thanksgiving feast, symbolizing
peace and cooperation. In reality, the sixteen to twenty two
event was not a formal Thanksgiving, but a harvest celebration,

(01:10:56):
and a relations between the Pilgrims and Wampanogg were vents,
to say the least, driven by survival needs rather than friendship.
The Wampanog tended partly out of diplomatic necessity. Later conflicts
like King Phillips War from sixteen seventy five to sixteen
seventy six showed deteriorating relationships between the Pilgrims and the Indians.

(01:11:20):
Textbooks often omitted the broader context of colonization, disease, and displacement.
The story was kind of romanticized in the nineteenth century
to promote American unity and a sanitize origin myth. But
Thanksgiving was not like we have Thanksgiving. It wasn't a

(01:11:40):
time of fellowship. It was just a large group of
people eating and they were on edge the entire time,
probably wondering who was gonna fire the first cannonball or
swing the sword. I don't know what they're blunderbuss.

Speaker 3 (01:11:57):
Which is kind of it's really uh. It shows like
the naivety of like everybody who believed the story like
after that was told, because they you're talking about a
group of colonizers that came over and the intruded and
took over the land of indigenous people and you know,
took took it over and kicked them out. But they're

(01:12:18):
gonna harmoniously sit there and eat together. It's it makes
absolute zero sense.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
Uh. And one thing I didn't know that the Texas
Board of Education they actually select the history books used
for all of Texas. So textbook writers can cater to
Texas government system when they write these textbooks, and they
can put kind of very opinionated that's like North Korea. Yeah,

(01:12:50):
that's very North Korea is Texas Brisket, longhorns, BUCkies, BUCkies,
like we're gonna buck so soon. I cannot stand going
to Huber Heights, though.

Speaker 3 (01:13:03):
I keep I keep passing through there, and I'll pass
it every now and then just to go off the
cruiser cruiser route just to see if you know, there's
anything popping off construction wise. There is, and uh, I'll
drive through there just just to get an update. And God,
it's on so much land, it is. It's so fucking big.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
We're gonna Dutch bros too. I saw that. Yeah, that's
a big deal. Man, that's huge. That's a huge You're
gonna go broke. I know she goes a seven Brew
every single day. Yeah, I don't like seven Brew. What
have you got from there?

Speaker 3 (01:13:35):
Several different things, even like normally I'll just get a
caramelized coffee cream sugar.

Speaker 1 (01:13:39):
It's it's not good every time I go there. And
this is funny. We're we went to the drive through
there with my wife. I was like, give me a
large ice blondie extra sweet with toasted marshmallow. That's not
for me. And then I was like, Dannah, give me
just a large black cold brew with a shot of espresso.
Hey go, And then she leaned down and put her

(01:14:02):
head in like in the car, is like, that's a
man's drink. Enough for my wife's Like, okay, thanks, never fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
Made never allowed to go back there again.

Speaker 1 (01:14:15):
Cheeks quiver over my coffee order. That's a fucking man's drinks.

Speaker 5 (01:14:20):
A man.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
I remember we left there, and I he fucking creamed
or Bloomer's dog. Yeah, young young like you know the teenage,
which I don't. Young young ladies just don't know.

Speaker 5 (01:14:37):
I get it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
It's nothing there for me. Yeah, I got girls that
look like you're hanging out my house, so I got
to feed pizza and protect them. No, I totally get
that tool on that. But she's like, that's a man's drink.
She didn't say that's something my daddy would order. She said,
that's a man's drink. Yep, that's for me, stinky dicking

(01:14:58):
balls between my legs. Men are disgusting though. They're fucking
disgusting pigs. Yeah, absolutely, that guy the Cincinnati Reds game,
just a disgusting creature. Yeah, and they always send pictures
of penises and stuff. Disgusting creatures. They're fucking weird. The

(01:15:19):
last thing, the last thing here the myth. The myth
is that Henry Ford was a brilliant American innovator who
revolutionized the automobile industry and treated workers fairly. The truth,
though he also published The International Jew, a series of
anti Semitic articles that became wildly popular in Nazi Germany.

(01:15:41):
Adolf Hitler reportedly admired Henry Ford and even mentioned him
in the mind Cuff book. Ford's newspaper, The Dearborn Independent
pedaled conspiracy theories that Jewish people were responsible for all
of society's problems. Despite later issuing a vague apology, Ford
ever officially personally renounced his views as being an anti

(01:16:03):
Semitic person. And this is this is funny.

Speaker 3 (01:16:05):
This is one of those things that I find, like
I love seeing hipocrisy and things, so like you see
all these stories of people like who politics aside, even
before this administration even went into office, people getting these
fucking you know tesla's or you know, cyber trucks, tesla
still but still and their ship's getting like keyed and
vandalized and spray painted, and they're called Nazis. But there's

(01:16:27):
things like Volkswagen, who you know, Volkswagen and literally a
fucking drug company that's sponsored and paid for by fucking Nazis.
And then you got for Henry Ford. But none of
this shit happens to those things. It's like, it's so weird.
It's so weird to me.

Speaker 1 (01:16:42):
The people just recency bias.

Speaker 5 (01:16:44):
Man.

Speaker 1 (01:16:44):
Everyone's done bad shit. Absolutely, the people have done a
lot worse than others.

Speaker 3 (01:16:48):
And then these people will still fucking like jizz their
pants over Disney, knowing that he's a fucking Nazi sympathizer,
like maybe they don't know, but still that it doesn't
change their views, which is wild.

Speaker 1 (01:17:00):
Yeah. I mean it's just like.

Speaker 5 (01:17:03):
And that's why I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:17:06):
So I don't dislike a brand. For for instance, like
a bud Light gave beard to Dylan mulvany, I could
give a shit less. Yeah, I mean, bud Light sucked
really bad before he let transperson door. Let's be completely clear,
it was always bad, but it never made me hate
it or like it anymore or less. Yeah, it just

(01:17:28):
and like a cyber like someone said, Nick, you want
a cyber truck, Like, fuck, yeah, give me a cyber truck.
Are you a fucking Nazi, I wouldn't be like, hold
on a second, Yeah, how did Elon get that black eye?
You know, I'm not. It's just I don't care, I think,
And that's been my hardest. I've been slowly getting back

(01:17:51):
on Facebook, and man, I've got my the amount of
people I see now, I've got it whittled down to
soap little people that yeah, I'm actually friends with because
everyone just like I can't believe you voting for a
gamble gamblegam the game gam I'm like, Oh, shut the

(01:18:11):
fuck up? Who cares?

Speaker 3 (01:18:13):
It doesn't make sense to me because it's one of
those things where it's like, especially like with you and I,
where like politics isn't a huge staple in our lives.
So like if you didn't know our vote, like the
way that we voted, would it fucking matter, you know
what I mean? Like, we're not different people because of
who And I.

Speaker 1 (01:18:33):
Never became friends with a single person on my on
my Facebook feed strictly because of our political identities.

Speaker 2 (01:18:40):
Yeah, any sort of beliefs that we have.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Right, you're a Democrat, Uh, you're a republic You're an independent?

Speaker 3 (01:18:45):
Yeah I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:18:47):
Oh, yeah, let's be friends. Right, you vote for ross Pro.
Let's be friends all. If you did vote for ross Pro,
I guess you're my kind of people. I guess fucking
split in the line, right, dude had some big love it.

Speaker 2 (01:19:03):
He never won, but he fucking kept going. That's persistence
right there. I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:07):
Yeah. Well, hey, that concludes our episode of when the
history books lied to us? Boy did they? I would
also like to give you give you listening some words
of encouragement. Around the holidays, I started getting out of
control with my eating, quit exercising, but taking care of myself,

(01:19:30):
just doing a lot of bad shit. You know, I'm
not gonn elaborate. I wasn't doing heroin or anything, but
just like, say, damn, dude, what'd you go through? Fucking
some shit?

Speaker 5 (01:19:40):
Man?

Speaker 1 (01:19:42):
You fucking saw God? Yes you can with no arcane, right,
But I tell you what, if you're somebody out there
that's like, you feel hopeless, you feel disgusting, you feel
just like I'm not really serving a purpose right now.
You know, recently I got back in the swing of things, uh,

(01:20:02):
doing lifting, some weights, exercising, walking the dog, just enjoying
the outdoors, reading self help books, drinking water and making
better decisions about my food, about my habits, and I
tell you what, there were some There were some dark
nights in the wintertime this year where I was like,

(01:20:26):
what fucking purpose am I serving here? Winter's hard anyways,
man is hard. And it felt like seasonal depression.

Speaker 2 (01:20:32):
Absolutely, But uh, I had it bad this past year.

Speaker 1 (01:20:35):
It bled into the winter time, it bled into the
springtime where I was still like, I hate myself, I
hate what I've become. I hate I just I hate,
I hate, I hate, I hate. I'm never coming out
of this funk. Well, if you're someone out there that year,
maybe in a funk, just you know. I read this
in a book called Atomic Habits. It's a really good book.

(01:20:56):
Every time you do something good, whether that's you choose,
maybe you choose, just like water over that mountain dew
where you know, you go for a walk instead of
coming home playing video games. Every time you do something good,
that's a that's a vote for the better version of yourself.

(01:21:16):
Every time you do something really bad, you know, you
eat that deep fried cheeseburger you eat, uh, you know
you watch you know it's my numbing, dumb fucking uh
what you called brain rot shit whatever, you're voting for
that bad version of yourself to make sure you're casting

(01:21:37):
those votes for that better version of yourself. But kind
of what I what I finally wanted to get to
is now that I've got exercise and kind of eating
better and getting my water, and now I've got that
stuff back into my life, I feel a whole lot
better about myself and I feel like my self worth
is back, and I'm treating people around me better, and

(01:21:59):
I'm you know, sometimes if you gain weight, or your
hair doesn't look the way you want it to, or
maybe you don't look the way you want to, it
makes you want to avoid people. It makes you like, man,
I've gained twenty pounds, I really don't want to talk.
I don't want to go to that party. I don't
want to do this. I don't want them to see

(01:22:20):
me like this. Well, eventually you paint yourself in the
corner where you stop seeing people, you stop doing things,
and none of us want that for you. And that's
kind of how I was feeling. I was like, I
don't want to go do this, I don't want to
do that. I don't want them to see me. But
just taking better, just exercising, walk in, lifting weights, doing

(01:22:42):
some if you don't have say you don't have weights,
you don't have access to Jim YouTube is. Seriously, they're
put type in thirty minute calisthetic workout and just do it,
raise your heart rate, and when you're all said and done,
I promise you you'd be like, you know what, I'm
really glad that I did that. And have you ever

(01:23:05):
scrolled TikTok and been like, I'm really fucking glad I
did that for two hours? That's true. Never do it.

Speaker 2 (01:23:11):
I mean, the thing is like you can still do
those things.

Speaker 3 (01:23:14):
Oh yeah, you can't. But just that's the thing you got.
You just prioritize little habits, whether it be you know what,
instead of if you're a person that's completely sedentary, take
a fucking.

Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
Walk around the block. It's gonna come difference.

Speaker 3 (01:23:25):
Come back, and then start small. Those small incremental changes
will lead up to and you'll realize that you're feeling
a little bit better.

Speaker 1 (01:23:32):
One day, Run the last fifty feet home. Yeah, the
next week, run the last one hundred feet home. By it.
By the time you know it, you're gonna be running
the entire walk. You're just gonna be like I can
do this now. Yeah, and.

Speaker 5 (01:23:48):
I can't.

Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
I can't express enough how much just like doing those
things has helped my mental health. Aside from I mean
I don't have a bad life. I mean I think
I have an exemp kind of what this podcast has
afforded us and the situation that's put us on in life.
I considered like I'm a very fortunate human being the

(01:24:11):
podcast aside. I got a family that loves me, I
got a healthy family, But sometimes I just don't feel
great about myself.

Speaker 3 (01:24:18):
Sure, I think we all go through that, right, Yeah,
And I feel like it's something as simple as like
if you're a person that's always inside, getting a change
of scenery, you know what I mean, Like whether it
be you know, you're just getting the fuck out and
then going and whether your thing is like go to
Starbucks and chill there for a little bit, but just
getting out and just doing something. It it's almost motivating
like that that'll keep you from being in that sedentary

(01:24:40):
mindset where you're like I.

Speaker 1 (01:24:41):
Don't want to leave fucking go to the grocery store
and just walk around. Yeah, you know what I mean?
And I think that and if you're someone that needs
to go on a diet, you know, don't don't crash
diet just this week, tell yourself, I'm gonna cut down
to one. I'm gonna I'm gonna switch the diet soda
and I'm gonna switch to one a day. Yeah, that

(01:25:03):
is not that is so easy to do. Still, you
don't have to change your diet. But the small incremental
incremental changes, that's gonna be like a like a giant
wave building. Man. You're gonna say, all right now, next week,
i don't need any soda. A week after that, I'm
switching to I'm switching as like they got like you know,

(01:25:25):
sugar free dressing and shit for salads. Right, I'm gonna
I'm gonna start looking at the labels. I'm'na start reading
the labels on ship. Not even change my I'm just
gonna start reading the labels to see is this good
for me? Or is this bad for me? And you
can literally take a picture of a label and ask
fucking Google this would be good for me or this
is bad for me? But uh, maybe you're someone that's

(01:25:45):
in a rut. You're in a mental rut. You're not
feeling great about yourself, You're not feeling your self worth. Well,
you know what, the reason you know you don't feel
great about yourself is because you're not taking care of yourself.
And not taking care of yourself doesn't mean all you're
you're eating bad, You're not at all. You're you're just
not taking care of yourself. Do the things that you like,

(01:26:08):
do the things that make you feel good. You play
video games for four hours? Does that really make you
feel good? I don't know, more of an time occupation, sure,
but if you if you took a walk and you
ate a grilled chicken salad, you'd be like, you know what,
those are good choices, right, and you're gonna feel You're
gonna feel better. But yes, for sure. And at the
end of all this, we love you. We want to

(01:26:29):
see the best version of you, and we want you
to be here for the best versions of us. And
if we can help it anyway, send us an email.
I'll talk to you about what's helped me, and Robert
can talk to you about what's helped him, and we
can all work together.

Speaker 2 (01:26:44):
We also want to make sure everybody sticks around for
as long as fucking possible.

Speaker 1 (01:26:47):
Yeah, because if you guys all die, who's gonna fucking
listen our podcast and get us paid exactly.

Speaker 2 (01:26:53):
We appreciate you guys listening to note for real.

Speaker 1 (01:26:55):
Love you guys, and we'll talk to you. Love you guys.

(01:27:17):
I want to see your dance take

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