July 16, 2025 • 21 mins
After nearly two decades of being married, nothing makes me jealous anymore except maybe the walk to the garden. Meanwhile, the bedroom renovation tornado led by my wife and daughter is turning their shared space into a live-action construction site. Loud bangs? Frequent. Peace and quiet? Extinct.
In this episode, I unpack how aging affects your political filter, relive my dramatic tumble outside an Office Depot, and dive into a topic nobody asked for but everyone will now Google: cat nipples. Yep, it’s one of those episodes. All this and more this week on the podcast!
Check out the podcast and all the fun at www.thedailylifeoffrank.com
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Let's connect! Find all my social channels here: https://linktr.ee/thedailylifeoffrank
In this episode, I unpack how aging affects your political filter, relive my dramatic tumble outside an Office Depot, and dive into a topic nobody asked for but everyone will now Google: cat nipples. Yep, it’s one of those episodes. All this and more this week on the podcast!
Check out the podcast and all the fun at www.thedailylifeoffrank.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's connect! Find all my social channels here: https://linktr.ee/thedailylifeoffrank
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome to the Daily Life of Frank. My name is Frank.
Of course. This is the podcast about being a dad, husband,
and average guy and one that I hope you will
find some relatable miss too. This is episode two hundred
(00:50):
and ninety five.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Here we go, Welcome, got the music, Let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah. So my wife and daughter are they started their
own construction company, or at least that's what it sounds like.
They are reorganizing my kids room, my daughter, my wife,
their room, my daughter and son's room. And it sounds
like a construction project outside the room. It does, and
(01:38):
it's kind of like a construction site because my wife's
doing all the work while my daughter just sits there
and asks is it done? Hey? Is it done? Are
you done? Are you done yet? Are you done? So,
if you hear any loud bangs or booms or arguments,
it's the construction side. And then if you hear like
lots of talking, my son is playing. We are. This
(02:01):
is the luxury that we have when we're recording the
podcast in the summertime. You never know what you're going
to experience, You never know what's going to happen. But
a construction site and uh, you know, I've said it
before on the podcast. I know I have ADHD or
I have autism and uh you know or both. And
(02:23):
when I say that, noises sometimes if they're allowed, like
just make me jump. And when I'm in like focus mode,
like in like the groove, and I hear like a boom,
like I jump, It's like today I've been living in
a haunted house in my head. It's like boom ah
(02:46):
boom ah, boom ah ah ah uh uh oh my gosh,
oh my gosh. I'm just bouncing around. I'm like, yeah,
it's a little bit of a construction, a new bed
frame going in. There's an organization of clothes. That's where
(03:07):
it all started from. Was the closed because my daughter
wants to get her off and ready for school, which
starts in over a month. And you know it's early,
isn't it. You know, some kids don't want to start
doing all that stuff because that means school is nearby.
But my daughter, yeah, so yeah, get in their clothes
and uh yeah. So it really is coming down to
(03:29):
is the room needs to be cleaned up and organized.
But the end result, which my daughter sees as well,
if I get disorganized and I start putting some of
the clothes that don't work out anymore. To the side,
I can get new clothes. So yeah, that's that's where
all the project stuff is coming about. So yeah, construction time,
(03:50):
construction time. But I don't like a lot of construction projects.
This is not going to get started and just be finished.
It is not not be finished. I had to say,
it's not like going to start at like three months later.
It's still gonna be out there, like why is there
a hole in the room or hole in the road.
But no, it's it's actually gonna be done today. So
(04:14):
you know, it's a quick, quick, quick project. The quick
project here on the expressway, the Expressway of Love. I
don't know what that what that was, And I'm not
sure because I'm trying to be funny, and that really
wasn't that funny. And that's okay. It's okay. We're not
gonna hit home runs all the time. Just look at
my bets, not home runs all the time. We can't
(04:35):
win everything. So I took a trip with my wife
to the garden the other day, and it was really
more of a purposeful thing to do because I wanted
to give the kids who are eleven and nine, the
opportunity to stay home while you know, we go out.
And let me preface this, it's not like the garden
(04:58):
is located like three town's over and it's a forty
two minute commute. It's in a walking distance and it's
literally two minutes from the house. And you know, I
was like, let's give him a chance, Let's give him
the opportunity. Let's see. Okay, I mean, they really can't
burn the house down within five minutes, can they? Maybe
(05:20):
they could, who knows, they didn't, thank god. But on
the way to the garden and you know, enjoying the
nice weather walking with my wife, and we're gonna, you know,
go to the garden here and I'm excited, you know,
check out what we have going on and all those things.
And we get to the garden and she starts off
(05:42):
the conversation like this. She goes, oh, yeah, blah blah blah,
you know over there, you know this this nice guy
he told me about it. I'm like, hold on, and
I'm not a jealous person. I'm not a jealous person.
For for Christ's sakes, we've been married, I think close
eighteen years or whatever. You know, so nineteen years eighteen.
(06:05):
I don't know. I can't do the math. It's been
a while. We've been together for over twenty years, and
you know what, I'm too tired to be jealous. I
do not got it in my system to be jealous anymore.
I don't, I don't. This is this is it. This
is what happened when you get old. And I'll talk
about getting old here in a minute, but like, that's
(06:26):
what it is, that's what it is. I can't get jealous.
I'm too tired to get jealous. Too tired, too tired
to get jealous. Yeah. I was like, wait a minute,
hold on a second, what what are you talking about?
And then I looked over and there's a guy on
the deck, a guy on the deck, and he was
looking our way. I'm like, wait a second, wait a minute,
(06:47):
this is not adding up. I'm not sure I like it.
So after Harry, you know, she's getting some guarding device
from a nice guy. And then the on the deck,
I was like, wait a second, hold on a minute.
And then as soon as we were walking back to
the guard at this old man, this older man, this
(07:09):
older gentleman, whatever whatever you want to say, like comes
running out of his house, like out of broad like
and yeah, old, he looked like a Santa Claus, but
a fit version of Santa Claus. Like Santa Claus really
made an effort to watch his cookie intake for the summer.
You know, maybe he's using the town that I live
(07:31):
in as a summer home or whatnot. I don't know,
I don't know. He looked like a fit Santa Claus.
And this is what got me. So he waved and
he didn't even wave at me. He gave me the
stink guy. It was I could feel like I could
feel as I was piercing through my heart. And he goes, Hi, Kate,
Now hold on a minute, Hold on a minute, Hold
(07:54):
on a minute, Hi Kate. Now nobody calls Kate but
her family. You know me, of course, you know her friends.
To everybody else, it's Katie. So why does this guy,
mister Fitz Santa Claus get the Kate? Hmm. So we're
(08:16):
walking back, my wife's like, yeah, yeah, I know a
lot of people. I'm like, you sure do? You sure do?
I'm gonna have to like supervise these garden time you
sure do? And she's like, well, this is because when
you become mayor of the town one day. You know,
you know how I'm trying to get those votes. I'm
trying to get those you know, I'm trying to get
(08:38):
those people to root for you. And I'm like, well,
first off, I don't think that I would be the
mayor of the town, and truthfully, you would be the
mayor or townhoor, whatever you want to call it, honey,
whatever you want to call it, I don't care. I
don't care what you do. But as long as you
(08:59):
keep breaking home those fresh vegetables, I can give a
shit what happens. But I don't care if fits Santa
Claus got to run out of his house every time,
all right, or deck guy, or you get an advice,
I don't care. As long as those fresh vegetables are
coming in. I don't care if you're the mayor or
the whoor of the town, I don't care. I really
don't care. Now, before I go any further, Uh, town
horror joke was approved by my wife this morning. Yes
(09:21):
it was. Town horror joke was approved. Thank you, hik Joe.
Oh my god, Jesus, you know the garden walk gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh.
(09:45):
But I was saying we're getting old, getting old, I'm
going to the garden. I mean part of being old,
part of being you know, fat. There's a lot of
stuff going on. But uh, you know, getting old, get
an old man. I tell you, I tell you, you know.
I know we're getting old, my wife and I because
all we do is talk about politics. That's right. All
we do is talk about politics. We wake up, we're
(10:07):
talking about politics. At night, we're talking about politics. In
the afternoon, we're taking a break, we're talking about politics.
That's all we do is take talk about politics. We
go take a nap, it's about politics. I dream about
politics in my sleep. That's how much politics we talk.
And then my wife she up the enny because before
bed or I'm sorry, you know, like not before bad
(10:29):
like when she's like getting ready for bed or you know,
in bed, ready to go to sleep, she watches the
news because it helps her all a sleep. So, yes,
that is getting old, that is getting old. I didn't
know anybody who did that. The only one I did
was my father in law. That's the only one. That's
(10:49):
the only one I do that would listen to the
news to go to sleep. So yeah, so yeah, we're
getting old. We're getting old. And I don't mean to
be gross, but if you don't like this podcast when
it gets a little TMI, then you may want to
turn it off right now. And I understand. But I'm
getting so old that I can't wash certain places anymore. No,
(11:12):
I cannot, all right, I can't wash certain places anymore.
It's getting bad. Okay. I went to go wash my thighs,
and I'm gonna be honest, it's not really my thighs.
But I'm not gonna tell you what it is. I'll
leave it to the imagination. See. If you didn't turn
it off, it's your fault right now. But I went
to go wash and I almost fell in the shower.
I almost fell in the shower. Almost fell in the shower. Yes,
(11:36):
So it's like, I'm going to watch. This is exactly
what happened. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna wash. My back.
Almost threw out my back as I was falling in
the shower. I only fell in the shower one time
in my life. One time, and that is when we
live with our in laws, who lived the our in laws,
(11:56):
And I fell hard in the shower downstairs, like I
felt hard. It was like boom, Like that was big
and hard, and I knew, I knew how I felt
and because I felt it, and I heard the loudness
and that I heard, you know, my father in law
Frank quiet, I'm trying to watch the nudes. I'm trying
(12:18):
to go to sleep. And two, I hit so hard
I think I moved the house into another block. It
was right out the foundation because you know, I heard
the father in law again, the d why is the house?
And wolf so you know it's a whole thing. Oh
my gosh, I'll tell you. I'll tell you and then
(12:38):
you know. The other other time that I felt really bad,
really bad was outside a office depot. It was an
office depot that I fell right outside of. I think
I felt so hard to put him out of business
and I fell outside the office deepot. And this was
like a time where like the mental health was really
(13:00):
ramping up. I was having something called ecapasia where I
couldn't sit down and all that things were ramping up.
And I fell and I called my wife, you know,
just to think that I was going to get some
you know, you know love, and I'm like, oh, I
just fell on the parking lot and I said of her, saying, okay,
she said, did you still get the printer? Because she
knows I have the ADHD. So sometimes if I do
one thing and another thing and I forget the other things,
(13:22):
I did get the printer. Now, my wife, she's a jokester.
This is why I love her, not just this. There's
many things, but this is one of her qualities. And
what she did was I came home to a fake
news article on the table that said there was a
earthquake in China. Mm hmm, so she was alluding to
(13:44):
then I fell on my fat ass so hard that
I shook China. Mm. Yeah, that's great. Try to be
funny with those guys from the garden walk. Okay, uh
huh oh man, oh gosh, I'll tell you you know. Uh.
We have lil, we have Leo. We have two awesome kiddos.
(14:08):
And as I get older, I did not think that
I was gonna have to revert back to being, you know,
a dad. In the fact of of course, I'm always
gonna be a dad, but like in the fact of like,
you know, raising two little kids again. And of course
that has happened because Moose and Nemo are just like
(14:31):
two little kids. They are like two little kids. Now
Nemo will be named ton of Dog, ton of Dog
and Moose's big dogg Tin of dog. He will come
for the scraps. Oh my god. Now I'm surprised that
I'm not, you know, ral Thinn, because every morning I
(14:52):
have to share my breakfast with him. Every morning, every
morning I share my breakfast with him, and h yeah,
I tell you, And he only comes when you have food,
Like if I'm in the kitchen making a snack or something,
he'll like, he'll hop on the counter, but when you
try to go petting me runs away. So he's only
there for the table scraps. Which makes me think, you know,
(15:13):
because the whole story was they found him and they're
not sure if the mom was coming back and forth
for him or if he had to go find food
or whatnot. So I think he's like scallenging for like
food and stuff. That's what he's what he's doing. But
I'm like, dude, if you hopped on my belly while
I was having a snack, we would share the snack
all day long. You like TV, you like snacks, You're
(15:35):
just like me. Yeah, But you know the thing with him, though, is.
I don't think I've ever had this on my bingo
car to say to a cat, and I quote, I say, Nemo,
stop sucking on your brother's nipples. I don't think I
(15:55):
would ever say that. I don't think I ever, you know,
ever thought it would cross my mind that I would
tell the kid in to stop sucking on the older
cat's nipples, who are both boys, And yes, and boy
cats do have nipples. Remember that scene all right with
you know, Robert de Niro, Ben Stiller, the movie I
(16:16):
have nipples? Greg, can you milk me? But yeah, So
what's happening is is Nemo sometimes with Moose's love and
his comfort, thinks that he's like his his mom, his mom.
So when they're cuddling up there sometimes where Nemo is like, Okay,
it's feeding time, so I need some milk, but I'm
(16:38):
gonna have to find find mister Moose's nipples to get
that milk, which there's no milk coming out of mister
Moose's nipples. Yeah, So I never thought I would even
have to to put these thoughts in my head or
even say anything. And yeah, so but Moose, poor Moose,
is like a mom, you know how Mom's right. They
(17:01):
work their asses off, they get tired, you know, and
they're playing with the kids like all that stuff. Because
he is doing the same type of sleep my wife
does after a long day with the kids. Right, it's
like this sleep like your mouth is opening, your yawning.
So this little thing is like trying to suck away,
suck away the day. And yeah, and it all, you know,
(17:26):
how do I get here? How do I get to?
The research aid in figuring out about the you know,
the the trying to find the nipple was because I
had a heart attack the other day. I ran over
and I said, what is that moose? Oh my gosh,
there was like this mark on moose is like underbelly.
(17:46):
And I'm like, oh my god, what is that? And
we later found out that which I never thought I
would say this again in a sentence, his little brother
gave him a hickey. Yes, so he sucks so hard.
He gave the cat a hickey. Now I don't know
if that is the term for cats. I don't know
(18:08):
if they call it something different, But all I know
is yes, he he Yeah. So there's a whole thing.
There's a whole thing out there. You have to like
you know, throw him a toy, get him distracted, because
if he does it too rough, you know, the other
cat will fight back. So the other cat is usually sleeping.
So yes, I never thought I would say, stop sucking
(18:30):
on your brother's nipples. Never thought I would say that.
It's a first for me. Uh, definitely. I'm hopefully it's
gonna be a last because you know, oh my god,
like the stuff they don't like, you don't go to
the like the the adoption place. I'm like, yeah, I
watch the little one will probably suck the big one's nipples.
He's gonna suck those nipples right up. And you're like,
(18:52):
what really, white, Hold on a minute, let me stop
myself here, let me try, Let me try to, let
me try to get at the same page. So I understand.
Then in the contray, do I have to sign that?
Is it a contract? Is you got to give the
other one hickeys? Is I gotta where do I gotta
sign that? Oh my god, oh my own, Speaking of
oh my own, it's coming, it's coming. I can't wait.
(19:12):
It's coming this August. It's my first ever and probably
my last if it fails, right, I don't know. I
hope there's board to it. But yeah, it's my comedy special.
I'm excited. I have some great jokes written and I'm
pumped for it. I'm pumped for it. So stay tuned,
all right, the Daily Life of Frank dot Com on
the website. Check it out, and you know, make sure
(19:35):
you just keep keeping tuned on the on the socials.
Uh and yeah, because I'm gonna have some more announcements
coming soon. But we're planning on it to release on
YouTube and TikTok and all your all your favorite socials.
And I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. All Right, you
have a great, great rest of your week. I will
(19:58):
see you back here. As we are nearing three hundred episodes.
I can't believe it, three hundred episodes. Three hundred. That's craziness, craziness, craziness.
(20:24):
All right, have a great rest of your week and
I will see you back here next time for more
of the Daily Life of Frank. Bye, everybody, Welcome to
the Daily Life of Frank podcast. Sit back, relax, and
relate to Frank as he goes through his daily life
of being a dad, cat, dad, husband, and average guy.
(20:44):
A new episode drops on Wednesdays at six am Central.
Listen on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple, Google Podcast, and also can
be found on your favorite podcast player. Find out more
at The Daily lifeffrank dot com
Welcome to the Daily Life of Frank. My name is Frank.
Of course. This is the podcast about being a dad, husband,
and average guy and one that I hope you will
find some relatable miss too. This is episode two hundred
(00:50):
and ninety five.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Here we go, Welcome, got the music, Let's go.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Yeah. So my wife and daughter are they started their
own construction company, or at least that's what it sounds like.
They are reorganizing my kids room, my daughter, my wife,
their room, my daughter and son's room. And it sounds
like a construction project outside the room. It does, and
(01:38):
it's kind of like a construction site because my wife's
doing all the work while my daughter just sits there
and asks is it done? Hey? Is it done? Are
you done? Are you done yet? Are you done? So,
if you hear any loud bangs or booms or arguments,
it's the construction side. And then if you hear like
lots of talking, my son is playing. We are. This
(02:01):
is the luxury that we have when we're recording the
podcast in the summertime. You never know what you're going
to experience, You never know what's going to happen. But
a construction site and uh, you know, I've said it
before on the podcast. I know I have ADHD or
I have autism and uh you know or both. And
(02:23):
when I say that, noises sometimes if they're allowed, like
just make me jump. And when I'm in like focus mode,
like in like the groove, and I hear like a boom,
like I jump, It's like today I've been living in
a haunted house in my head. It's like boom ah
(02:46):
boom ah, boom ah ah ah uh uh oh my gosh,
oh my gosh. I'm just bouncing around. I'm like, yeah,
it's a little bit of a construction, a new bed
frame going in. There's an organization of clothes. That's where
(03:07):
it all started from. Was the closed because my daughter
wants to get her off and ready for school, which
starts in over a month. And you know it's early,
isn't it. You know, some kids don't want to start
doing all that stuff because that means school is nearby.
But my daughter, yeah, so yeah, get in their clothes
and uh yeah. So it really is coming down to
(03:29):
is the room needs to be cleaned up and organized.
But the end result, which my daughter sees as well,
if I get disorganized and I start putting some of
the clothes that don't work out anymore. To the side,
I can get new clothes. So yeah, that's that's where
all the project stuff is coming about. So yeah, construction time,
(03:50):
construction time. But I don't like a lot of construction projects.
This is not going to get started and just be finished.
It is not not be finished. I had to say,
it's not like going to start at like three months later.
It's still gonna be out there, like why is there
a hole in the room or hole in the road.
But no, it's it's actually gonna be done today. So
(04:14):
you know, it's a quick, quick, quick project. The quick
project here on the expressway, the Expressway of Love. I
don't know what that what that was, And I'm not
sure because I'm trying to be funny, and that really
wasn't that funny. And that's okay. It's okay. We're not
gonna hit home runs all the time. Just look at
my bets, not home runs all the time. We can't
(04:35):
win everything. So I took a trip with my wife
to the garden the other day, and it was really
more of a purposeful thing to do because I wanted
to give the kids who are eleven and nine, the
opportunity to stay home while you know, we go out.
And let me preface this, it's not like the garden
(04:58):
is located like three town's over and it's a forty
two minute commute. It's in a walking distance and it's
literally two minutes from the house. And you know, I
was like, let's give him a chance, Let's give him
the opportunity. Let's see. Okay, I mean, they really can't
burn the house down within five minutes, can they? Maybe
(05:20):
they could, who knows, they didn't, thank god. But on
the way to the garden and you know, enjoying the
nice weather walking with my wife, and we're gonna, you know,
go to the garden here and I'm excited, you know,
check out what we have going on and all those things.
And we get to the garden and she starts off
(05:42):
the conversation like this. She goes, oh, yeah, blah blah blah,
you know over there, you know this this nice guy
he told me about it. I'm like, hold on, and
I'm not a jealous person. I'm not a jealous person.
For for Christ's sakes, we've been married, I think close
eighteen years or whatever. You know, so nineteen years eighteen.
(06:05):
I don't know. I can't do the math. It's been
a while. We've been together for over twenty years, and
you know what, I'm too tired to be jealous. I
do not got it in my system to be jealous anymore.
I don't, I don't. This is this is it. This
is what happened when you get old. And I'll talk
about getting old here in a minute, but like, that's
(06:26):
what it is, that's what it is. I can't get jealous.
I'm too tired to get jealous. Too tired, too tired
to get jealous. Yeah. I was like, wait a minute,
hold on a second, what what are you talking about?
And then I looked over and there's a guy on
the deck, a guy on the deck, and he was
looking our way. I'm like, wait a second, wait a minute,
(06:47):
this is not adding up. I'm not sure I like it.
So after Harry, you know, she's getting some guarding device
from a nice guy. And then the on the deck,
I was like, wait a second, hold on a minute.
And then as soon as we were walking back to
the guard at this old man, this older man, this
(07:09):
older gentleman, whatever whatever you want to say, like comes
running out of his house, like out of broad like
and yeah, old, he looked like a Santa Claus, but
a fit version of Santa Claus. Like Santa Claus really
made an effort to watch his cookie intake for the summer.
You know, maybe he's using the town that I live
(07:31):
in as a summer home or whatnot. I don't know,
I don't know. He looked like a fit Santa Claus.
And this is what got me. So he waved and
he didn't even wave at me. He gave me the
stink guy. It was I could feel like I could
feel as I was piercing through my heart. And he goes, Hi, Kate,
Now hold on a minute, Hold on a minute, Hold
(07:54):
on a minute, Hi Kate. Now nobody calls Kate but
her family. You know me, of course, you know her friends.
To everybody else, it's Katie. So why does this guy,
mister Fitz Santa Claus get the Kate? Hmm. So we're
(08:16):
walking back, my wife's like, yeah, yeah, I know a
lot of people. I'm like, you sure do? You sure do?
I'm gonna have to like supervise these garden time you
sure do? And she's like, well, this is because when
you become mayor of the town one day. You know,
you know how I'm trying to get those votes. I'm
trying to get those you know, I'm trying to get
(08:38):
those people to root for you. And I'm like, well,
first off, I don't think that I would be the
mayor of the town, and truthfully, you would be the
mayor or townhoor, whatever you want to call it, honey,
whatever you want to call it, I don't care. I
don't care what you do. But as long as you
(08:59):
keep breaking home those fresh vegetables, I can give a
shit what happens. But I don't care if fits Santa
Claus got to run out of his house every time,
all right, or deck guy, or you get an advice,
I don't care. As long as those fresh vegetables are
coming in. I don't care if you're the mayor or
the whoor of the town, I don't care. I really
don't care. Now, before I go any further, Uh, town
horror joke was approved by my wife this morning. Yes
(09:21):
it was. Town horror joke was approved. Thank you, hik Joe.
Oh my god, Jesus, you know the garden walk gosh, gosh, gosh, gosh.
(09:45):
But I was saying we're getting old, getting old, I'm
going to the garden. I mean part of being old,
part of being you know, fat. There's a lot of
stuff going on. But uh, you know, getting old, get
an old man. I tell you, I tell you, you know.
I know we're getting old, my wife and I because
all we do is talk about politics. That's right. All
we do is talk about politics. We wake up, we're
(10:07):
talking about politics. At night, we're talking about politics. In
the afternoon, we're taking a break, we're talking about politics.
That's all we do is take talk about politics. We
go take a nap, it's about politics. I dream about
politics in my sleep. That's how much politics we talk.
And then my wife she up the enny because before
bed or I'm sorry, you know, like not before bad
(10:29):
like when she's like getting ready for bed or you know,
in bed, ready to go to sleep, she watches the
news because it helps her all a sleep. So, yes,
that is getting old, that is getting old. I didn't
know anybody who did that. The only one I did
was my father in law. That's the only one. That's
(10:49):
the only one I do that would listen to the
news to go to sleep. So yeah, so yeah, we're
getting old. We're getting old. And I don't mean to
be gross, but if you don't like this podcast when
it gets a little TMI, then you may want to
turn it off right now. And I understand. But I'm
getting so old that I can't wash certain places anymore. No,
(11:12):
I cannot, all right, I can't wash certain places anymore.
It's getting bad. Okay. I went to go wash my thighs,
and I'm gonna be honest, it's not really my thighs.
But I'm not gonna tell you what it is. I'll
leave it to the imagination. See. If you didn't turn
it off, it's your fault right now. But I went
to go wash and I almost fell in the shower.
I almost fell in the shower. Almost fell in the shower. Yes,
(11:36):
So it's like, I'm going to watch. This is exactly
what happened. I'm like, all right, I'm gonna wash. My back.
Almost threw out my back as I was falling in
the shower. I only fell in the shower one time
in my life. One time, and that is when we
live with our in laws, who lived the our in laws,
(11:56):
And I fell hard in the shower downstairs, like I
felt hard. It was like boom, Like that was big
and hard, and I knew, I knew how I felt
and because I felt it, and I heard the loudness
and that I heard, you know, my father in law
Frank quiet, I'm trying to watch the nudes. I'm trying
(12:18):
to go to sleep. And two, I hit so hard
I think I moved the house into another block. It
was right out the foundation because you know, I heard
the father in law again, the d why is the house?
And wolf so you know it's a whole thing. Oh
my gosh, I'll tell you. I'll tell you and then
(12:38):
you know. The other other time that I felt really bad,
really bad was outside a office depot. It was an
office depot that I fell right outside of. I think
I felt so hard to put him out of business
and I fell outside the office deepot. And this was
like a time where like the mental health was really
(13:00):
ramping up. I was having something called ecapasia where I
couldn't sit down and all that things were ramping up.
And I fell and I called my wife, you know,
just to think that I was going to get some
you know, you know love, and I'm like, oh, I
just fell on the parking lot and I said of her, saying, okay,
she said, did you still get the printer? Because she
knows I have the ADHD. So sometimes if I do
one thing and another thing and I forget the other things,
(13:22):
I did get the printer. Now, my wife, she's a jokester.
This is why I love her, not just this. There's
many things, but this is one of her qualities. And
what she did was I came home to a fake
news article on the table that said there was a
earthquake in China. Mm hmm, so she was alluding to
(13:44):
then I fell on my fat ass so hard that
I shook China. Mm. Yeah, that's great. Try to be
funny with those guys from the garden walk. Okay, uh
huh oh man, oh gosh, I'll tell you you know. Uh.
We have lil, we have Leo. We have two awesome kiddos.
(14:08):
And as I get older, I did not think that
I was gonna have to revert back to being, you know,
a dad. In the fact of of course, I'm always
gonna be a dad, but like in the fact of like,
you know, raising two little kids again. And of course
that has happened because Moose and Nemo are just like
(14:31):
two little kids. They are like two little kids. Now
Nemo will be named ton of Dog, ton of Dog
and Moose's big dogg Tin of dog. He will come
for the scraps. Oh my god. Now I'm surprised that
I'm not, you know, ral Thinn, because every morning I
(14:52):
have to share my breakfast with him. Every morning, every
morning I share my breakfast with him, and h yeah,
I tell you, And he only comes when you have food,
Like if I'm in the kitchen making a snack or something,
he'll like, he'll hop on the counter, but when you
try to go petting me runs away. So he's only
there for the table scraps. Which makes me think, you know,
(15:13):
because the whole story was they found him and they're
not sure if the mom was coming back and forth
for him or if he had to go find food
or whatnot. So I think he's like scallenging for like
food and stuff. That's what he's what he's doing. But
I'm like, dude, if you hopped on my belly while
I was having a snack, we would share the snack
all day long. You like TV, you like snacks, You're
(15:35):
just like me. Yeah, But you know the thing with him, though, is.
I don't think I've ever had this on my bingo
car to say to a cat, and I quote, I say, Nemo,
stop sucking on your brother's nipples. I don't think I
(15:55):
would ever say that. I don't think I ever, you know,
ever thought it would cross my mind that I would
tell the kid in to stop sucking on the older
cat's nipples, who are both boys, And yes, and boy
cats do have nipples. Remember that scene all right with
you know, Robert de Niro, Ben Stiller, the movie I
(16:16):
have nipples? Greg, can you milk me? But yeah, So
what's happening is is Nemo sometimes with Moose's love and
his comfort, thinks that he's like his his mom, his mom.
So when they're cuddling up there sometimes where Nemo is like, Okay,
it's feeding time, so I need some milk, but I'm
(16:38):
gonna have to find find mister Moose's nipples to get
that milk, which there's no milk coming out of mister
Moose's nipples. Yeah, So I never thought I would even
have to to put these thoughts in my head or
even say anything. And yeah, so but Moose, poor Moose,
is like a mom, you know how Mom's right. They
(17:01):
work their asses off, they get tired, you know, and
they're playing with the kids like all that stuff. Because
he is doing the same type of sleep my wife
does after a long day with the kids. Right, it's
like this sleep like your mouth is opening, your yawning.
So this little thing is like trying to suck away,
suck away the day. And yeah, and it all, you know,
(17:26):
how do I get here? How do I get to?
The research aid in figuring out about the you know,
the the trying to find the nipple was because I
had a heart attack the other day. I ran over
and I said, what is that moose? Oh my gosh,
there was like this mark on moose is like underbelly.
(17:46):
And I'm like, oh my god, what is that? And
we later found out that which I never thought I
would say this again in a sentence, his little brother
gave him a hickey. Yes, so he sucks so hard.
He gave the cat a hickey. Now I don't know
if that is the term for cats. I don't know
(18:08):
if they call it something different, But all I know
is yes, he he Yeah. So there's a whole thing.
There's a whole thing out there. You have to like
you know, throw him a toy, get him distracted, because
if he does it too rough, you know, the other
cat will fight back. So the other cat is usually sleeping.
So yes, I never thought I would say, stop sucking
(18:30):
on your brother's nipples. Never thought I would say that.
It's a first for me. Uh, definitely. I'm hopefully it's
gonna be a last because you know, oh my god,
like the stuff they don't like, you don't go to
the like the the adoption place. I'm like, yeah, I
watch the little one will probably suck the big one's nipples.
He's gonna suck those nipples right up. And you're like,
(18:52):
what really, white, Hold on a minute, let me stop
myself here, let me try, Let me try to, let
me try to get at the same page. So I understand.
Then in the contray, do I have to sign that?
Is it a contract? Is you got to give the
other one hickeys? Is I gotta where do I gotta
sign that? Oh my god, oh my own, Speaking of
oh my own, it's coming, it's coming. I can't wait.
(19:12):
It's coming this August. It's my first ever and probably
my last if it fails, right, I don't know. I
hope there's board to it. But yeah, it's my comedy special.
I'm excited. I have some great jokes written and I'm
pumped for it. I'm pumped for it. So stay tuned,
all right, the Daily Life of Frank dot Com on
the website. Check it out, and you know, make sure
(19:35):
you just keep keeping tuned on the on the socials.
Uh and yeah, because I'm gonna have some more announcements
coming soon. But we're planning on it to release on
YouTube and TikTok and all your all your favorite socials.
And I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. All Right, you
have a great, great rest of your week. I will
(19:58):
see you back here. As we are nearing three hundred episodes.
I can't believe it, three hundred episodes. Three hundred. That's craziness, craziness, craziness.
(20:24):
All right, have a great rest of your week and
I will see you back here next time for more
of the Daily Life of Frank. Bye, everybody, Welcome to
the Daily Life of Frank podcast. Sit back, relax, and
relate to Frank as he goes through his daily life
of being a dad, cat, dad, husband, and average guy.
(20:44):
A new episode drops on Wednesdays at six am Central.
Listen on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple, Google Podcast, and also can
be found on your favorite podcast player. Find out more
at The Daily lifeffrank dot com
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