October 29, 2025 • 32 mins
Welcome to The Daily Life of Frank: Halloween Special 8, The Pudge Purge, where candy dreams go to die and comedy rises from the crypt. In this episode, I dive into stories of Halloween past and present from childhood scares to adult scares. I confess my true identity as a scaredy catdad (yes, I get scared easily, and scream), debut a vampire stand-up segment that’s so savage it might get banned from daylight, and share Moose and Nemo’s costume chaos featuring regret, and the existential grief of being undead and candy-deprived.
It’s a haunted grab bag of comedy, nostalgia, and crypt-core nonsense. Tune in, scream responsibly, and remember: if you hear rustling in the candy bowl… it’s probably me, please don’t tell my doctor.
Check out the podcast and all the fun at www.thedailylifeoffrank.com
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Let's connect! Find all my social channels here: https://linktr.ee/thedailylifeoffrank
It’s a haunted grab bag of comedy, nostalgia, and crypt-core nonsense. Tune in, scream responsibly, and remember: if you hear rustling in the candy bowl… it’s probably me, please don’t tell my doctor.
Check out the podcast and all the fun at www.thedailylifeoffrank.com
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Let's connect! Find all my social channels here: https://linktr.ee/thedailylifeoffrank
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This Halloween. The snacks bite back. Frank ate so many sweets.
One time he woke up in the hospital with DKA.
The nurse's name was Candy. He thought he was dead.
He wasn't, but his pancreas was ghosting him. It's the
(00:24):
Daily Life of Frank eighth Halloween Special. It's the Pudge Purge,
a haunted buffet of Halloween chaos, real stories from Halloween
past segments so spooky even Moose Animo won't nap through them,
(00:45):
and enough candy trauma to make your glucose monitor scream.
The candy wrappers are multiplying. I saw a bag of
Dorito's Levitate, Leo's dress does a haunted lunchable, and Lilian
is dressed as a Reese's peanut butter cup. Tune in
(01:09):
to the Daily Life of Frank Halloween Special eight, The
Pudge Purge, where the only things scarier than ghosts is
push and control and his wife's always watching.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
This is episode three hundred and six, Halloween Special eight,
The Pudge Perge, And before we get into the Halloween fun,
I wanted to take a moment and pause and thank
my awesome wife the hard work and dedication my wife gave.
She was able to get the kids who were cut
(01:51):
in both the crew and play parts in the play.
The school realized that it should have never cut any
of those kids. So thanks to her, the kids that
were cut and wanted to be in it, we're able to.
(02:13):
So thank you to my wife, thank you to the
school for making the wrong the right. And let's get
on to the Halloween Special, shall we. Let's go Episode
three hundred and six. This is Halloween Special eight, The
Pudge Purge. Welcome ONU. In Halloween Special eight, The Pudge Purge.
(02:56):
My name is Frank. Welcome to the day Life of
Frank podcast. I love this episode. It's one of my
favorite episodes every year. And the reason why these episodes
started was I fell in love with Halloween specials as
a kid. I love the Roseanne Halloween specials. I love
the Home Improvement Halloween specials. I loved it all. I
(03:19):
loved it all, and I thought something cool I could
do when I started this podcast back in two thousand
and seven was to have a Halloween special every year.
And I'm excited because I get to share some stories
of Halloween past. Maybe you'll relate to those ninety Halloween
(03:43):
parties you've went to with a trick or treating and
also some fun along the way. Episode three hundred and six,
Halloween Special number eight, the Perche. One of those things
(04:04):
that I love to do when I was a kid
was watch the Simpsons. Remember the treos of Horror. We
used to love those, And if I remember correctly, those
things were on Thursday nights. Thursday Nights and right with
the Simpsons on Thursday nights. Does anybody know? Nobody? No, Well,
I'm in room by myself and the cats. The cats
weren't born then yet, so like, I know what the
fuck you're talking about. Yeah, so the Simpsons. We used
(04:29):
to watch trios of Horror. My cousins we used to.
I think we used to do trigger treating together or
we did it separate, and then we ended up at
my grandma's.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And I remember watching the Simpsons treossa hors with the kids.
And the reason why I bring it up speaking of
those Halloween specials is my kids, my son and daughter
have been asking, and they're you know, nine and eleven,
and they've been asking, can we watch the Simpsons? And
you know, I thought, well, I don't remember. I don't
remember I know at that age I was watching it.
And you know, sometimes I think our parents had a
(04:58):
little bit of leeway we were growing up. Some of
the shows that we watch as kids, probably we wouldn't
show our kids nowadays. But anyway, I was like, sure,
and it's not too bad. It's not too bad. It's
not family guy. But we have a tradition we watch
a new Simpsons episode, you know, h every night we
watch together and we laugh and that's kind of how
(05:20):
we end our nights. But my kids aren't big fans
of the trioscle Horrors yet. I gotta, I think I
gotta try to show them, like some of the older ones.
I think they'll get the older ones, the newer ones.
Maybe they maybe they're just not not clicking. I don't know,
but I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm
gonna have to, you know, get him into some of those,
you know, those older ones, because older ones were awesome.
(05:42):
They were like that, the three D dimensional one and
man oh man, yeah, I love trigger treating. As a kid, obviously,
that's what got me into the hospital TKA. Now not obviously,
not like it went from you know, eating candy. I
laid out my own future as much candy I used
to eat in Halloween, used to eat a lot of kids.
Any of Halloween, I remember it was some years it
(06:04):
was a shitty outside. I don't know why I remember those,
but I remember one year specific, just looking out the
window hoping the rain would end, and just feeling horrible
because there was no trick or treating. It was one
of those things now like if we tell our kids, hey,
we're not going trick or trading, it's raining, they'd be
like they spoiled, they spoiled. But uh yeah, I remember
(06:28):
just looking out the window and just being disappointed. Disappointed,
you know. I don't know why I feel like they
I don't know if I dreamt this as a kid,
or like they pushed it to the next day. I
have no idea. I can't remember. I don't know why
I feel that. But I just got done finishing the
Entities of the Unknown and we were talking about the
back room. So maybe I'm currently in the back room.
(06:50):
I don't know. I don't know. Another time, when we
were trick or treating as kids, there was this one
house and they had perfect scare. It wasn't much, but
when you're eight or nine and you're going through the
neighborhood and you get that scared and you know it
makes you scream. And I fell down the porch stairs.
(07:11):
You know the city in Chicago, you know a lot
of houses have porches. Yeah, so I walked up those
stairs and then I fell fell flat. I tumbled. I
tumbou fold you ot tumboufol you. I tumbled and lost
all my candy. I did, I did. I lost all
my candy. But the prank was really fun. What it
was is, I remember it must have scared me and
(07:34):
traumatized me this bad because I remember it to this day.
It was a kid in the window and there was
a person dressed up I think as the werewolf sitting
in a chair outside, and every time somebody come by,
it would be a little knock and they would jump out.
I didn't notice that at the time. Then I kind
of realized and put things together. But yeah, scared the
(07:55):
shit out of me. Literally, well not literally, because that
would be even worse. Can imagine phone down a flight
of stairs for your candy and then having an accident
to that'd be one that'd be one way to fuck
up your Halloween multiple ways to fuck up your Halloween.
But uh, you know, I've always been a little jumpy.
(08:18):
I love scaring people. I love scaring people, and I'll
talk about how I got my wife last week. But
for the most part, you know, I scare easily. Actually
not for the most part. For all the parts, I
scare very, very easily. And I think it all start
with my dad. My dad, he had this Frankenstein mask
and he would put this mask on and he would
(08:42):
scare the shit out of you. He would, my dad,
like crazy scares. Like you'd be sitting in your bedroom,
which is like on the second floor, and he would,
you know, put a ladder and he would climb up
very quietly, and then you would look and you'd look again,
and then he'd be in the window like he's looking
and push the fucking ladder over or something. But yeah,
he used to do that. I remember this one time
(09:02):
my dad. My dad put on that Frankenstein mask and
I got home from school or football practice, and he
was walking in the backyard with a fake knife. I
believe I never I think. I don't think I still recovered.
I can remember every detail. Like I said before, sometimes
when you're very traumatized. You can read and remember every
(09:23):
detail in your brain. Your brain will remember everything, everything, everything.
I think I fell on the series' like mom calling
that one one dramatic. It was very dramatic, but like
I said, I scare easily. There's one time I worked
(09:45):
at a radio station. Working at a radio station, I
hated October because we had to hit every haunted house.
And of course, you know the people that you're out
there at the event, the you know, haunted houses, who've
paid for advertisements. You want to make them happy, so
you participate in some of those haunted houses. And this
haunted house that we went to, it was in Lombard,
(10:06):
and they knew that I was a scaredy pants. I
was a scaredy pants because how do they know that
I was such a scaredy pants. Well, they turned it
up to about a thousand, so besides the characters who
were roaming and hiding in the radio station van and
all that, which almost scared me and gave me a
heart attack. Going inside the house, it was like turned
(10:32):
up to a million. It was so bad. It was
so bad, and I got scared so bad that one
of the people who were in the house dressed as
one of the monsters. Broke character tapped me on the
shoulder and he said, dude, this is all fake. You
know that. Yeah, I do, I fucking do. Are you
(10:54):
guys panting my therapy down the lane? Are you? No?
Nobody is. Like I said, I loved scaring my family.
I do. But my wife, her paybacks are far and
few in between, Like they're not a lot. You don't
expect it. And when she scares me, she gets me good.
(11:18):
She recorded a video of me. I was in the
bathroom and I came out of the bathroom and she
was hiding behind near the laundry machine, and she said boo,
and I go aha. I jumped, And she has video
of it. It's on the Instagram page at the day
of the Life of Frank. It was a few years ago.
But then I was reminiscing about that video and I
(11:39):
pulled up the video on my phone and I laughed
and I noticed on my phone, I have a few
moments that my wife has recorded of me almost crapping
my pants. Yes, there was a one time where I
tried to get the spider in the bathroom and it
fell almost on me. There was one time playing a
scary VR game with the kids. And then that's what's
(12:00):
the one with my wife. So for your enjoyment, here
you go. Enjoy. This is a very quick ten second
clip of me screaming, So enjoy. This is not made up.
This is not fake. We have time for that later on.
This is real. Listen to this.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Ah, I don't know, yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
The grand finale, the grand finale. Oh my god, I
tell you, I tell you, man. And when she gets me,
she gets me good. He gets me good. But I
got her good the other day. And I'm gonna tell
you why. I played off something. So for the longest time,
(12:55):
and we still not have solved this mystery. We would
get monk Monk's chanting every morning at a certain time
on Alexa. My guess is somebody was probably in the
neighborhood big into meditation and those things, and set up
an automation and they set it up to the wrong Alexa,
or we have a ghost or something like that. I
don't know either, or so I decided. My wife, who
(13:19):
went downstairs, was early morning, probably about five am, to
play some fortnite, have a cup of coffee, and she
wasn't expecting anything and I sat in the chair and
I had demonic whispers come out of the alexa. I
found a playlist. I played nothing but demonic whispers, and yeah,
it scared the hell out of her because I played
it off for a very, very, a good amount of time.
(13:41):
I would tell you quite abou about a half hour hour.
That's a good amount of time. I played it off
and she kept asking and she's like, I'm gonna yell
at Leo sleeping. That's what I was like. Okay, it
was me, can't throw my my bro down. But it
was just one of those things where it was I
(14:04):
don't know, I didn't think it would work, but it
got her really good. And my wife, who is very
big into saging in the house when she feels some
bad you know, vibes flowing with her out, she'll sage.
So I don't know if she thought she opened a
portal or whatnot, but I played those things and I
(14:26):
couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear it. So when I
played those things, she was, yeah, yeah, it scared her.
It was very creepy, she said, and very realistic, which
I didn't plan on it. So if I opened a portal,
that's on me. That is on me, and I apologize
for that. Now I don't need the fake laugh track,
(14:51):
oh man. And then there was one clip I must
have deleted it off my phone. I wanted to play
it for you today. It was where I scared my
wife very good in the shower. She was showering in
her own you know, her own zone, had music going,
and I jumped in that bathroom and I like, ah,
like that, and I think it ended up with her
(15:13):
calling me a stupid mfor. My wife doesn't use the
mfor very much, so when she does use it, you know.
It was a complete success. A complete success. Halloween, I
can't believe is in a couple of days. I really
can't believe it. And I want to dress Moose and
(15:34):
Nemo up, as Sonic Can tells. I think it would
be absolutely hysterical if I can dress up both of them,
as Sonic Can tells. But apparently apparently they had some
costume ideas already that didn't pan out. I guess I
(16:00):
wanted to be a vampire astronaut this year, Cape Helmet
zero gravity, blood sucking the whole vibe.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
I was going to be a haunted influencer ring light
car skincare routine, and a ghost that does my captions.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
But now I'm just a sad moose and glitter eyeliner,
and you look like a tax accountant who died mid audit.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
That's the look.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
It's called haunted deductible.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
We were supposed to trick or treat in style, hit
every house, fill a coffin with candy.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
But no, you can't eat candy. You're undead. It'll rot
your fangs, you'll summon the dentist. I swear being a
mortal is just one long list of dietary restrictions.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I tried licking a Snickers, my tongue burst into flames.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
I sniffed a Twix and heard the voice of my ancestor.
You're screaming not worth it.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
So what do we do now?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Just sit here and watch the living enjoy nougat pretty much.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
I'm thinking of starting a support group Things without Fudge.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
We could hand out pamphlets don't judge a vampire by
his candy cravings.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Or just bite someone and steal their emotional satisfaction. That's
basically sugar for the soul.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Happy Halloween Nemo, Happy hollow Halloween.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Moose Welcome to the Daily Life of Frank podcast. Sit back, relax,
and relate to Frank as he goes through his daily
life of being a dad, cat, dad, husband, and average guy.
A new episode drops on Wednesdays at six am Central.
Listen on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple, Google Podcast, and also can
(17:52):
be found on your favorite podcast player. Find out more
at the Daily Lifefrank dot com.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
All right, welcome back to the Daily Life of Frank
Halloween Special. Now, I don't know, besides the monks who
were chanting, I'm not sure if my house is haunted.
And I know, I know, I don't want to find
out either, but I do kind of want to find out.
I don't know. I thought it'd be a fun segment.
(18:22):
But here's some of the stuff. Right, So first, we
have a fan in the kitchen, a fan in the kitchen,
and every time, and it hasn't done recently, but every
time for you know, every other okay, every other day
we would be in there and have it on, it
(18:43):
would go off, like turn off. So in that whole
like turning off, I was approached by our neighbor. So
it goes off, it goes on, does its thing, right,
didn't think about it, thought, okay, it's tough being electrical, right.
(19:05):
So then I was outside and my neighbor came over.
Never met this person at all, and this is probably
the same, maybe maybe about five or six months after
we moved in, and she goes with your wife home,
and I'm thinking, oh, fuck, what is this that the
kid's too loud outside? This is a Facebook neighbor thing.
(19:28):
I have no way that what the fuck's going on.
I'm like, okay, okay, this is a true story, by
the way.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
And.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Most Nina thing that that might not have been true.
Let's they have real voices and they were able to
find costumes.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
So she goes out and talks to my wife, and
my wife comes in and it's like dazed, and she's like,
so she told me that when she looks over to
our house at night, she sees a man standing in
the doorway. She sees a man in those you know
(20:09):
screen doors, you know the glass doors she will pull.
She sees a man in the doorway, And she sees
a man in the doorway. But he's not a scary person.
He is, you know, he's very protective and strong and bold,
and he is not a threat, but he's he's there,
and I was like, all right, move out, We're going
(20:30):
fuck this, pack it up.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Everybody grab the shit, don't grab shit, forget it. Whatever
we get we don't grab. All right, forget it. Let's go.
Everybody out. And that sticks with me. At night when
I have to close down all the lights, I still
think of that. And that's like probably about eight years ago.
So I still envision that in my fucking brain cell
(20:53):
every time. And then we started having some other problems recently.
Right our power was going out at random time's the
lights flicker in the bathroom, the lights flicker in the garage.
So I'm like, uh, okay, and I don't think about
that man. We make that guy who's in our window.
(21:14):
But you know, first I was like, did you follow
up with questions? Is he like five foot six and fat? No,
it's tall. It's tall guy and skiddy. So that is
obviously wasn't me unless my wife hmm, wait a minute.
But yeah, So all that stuff going on I found
(21:37):
out last week. My wife texted me and she said,
do you know the library has something called the Library
of Things where you can rent out goes hunting equipment,
I say, shut the fuck up. First, I said, oh
my god, we're gonna get to the back. Okay, I'm kidding.
I firstly said to myself, oh my god, this's be
a great segment for the Halloween special. I will record
(21:58):
what I can and see if there really are ghost
in this house.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
And then I was like, okay, it'll be cool to
see too. Or maybe it wasn't that cool, but I
was like, what's good to know? Are we gonna rent
out again next year or not? Or today or this week?
We're gonna leave today? My wife told me fuck no,
you know, and I expected it. I respected it, you know,
the sage, the sage thing, right. I knew she wasn't
(22:23):
going to say yes. I tried. I tried a couple
different ways.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
But if you want to find out, if you want
to find out if you have a ghost in your house,
apparently some libraries rent out that equipment, so check your
local library and let me know. But I am not
doing here. I'm not doing it here, I tell you, Nope, nope, nope.
So I mentioned earlier that I recorded the Entities of
the Unknown podcast, and I'm really really excited for this podcast.
(22:54):
As you know, I had my mental health breakdown podcast.
So I like to do some of these podcasts that
are you know a little bit different, a little bit
outside my normal daily life, you know. Podcast And the
one thing that my wife and I were working on
last year and as always, things have you know, you know,
(23:16):
they sometimes just don't pan out, especially when you're you know,
a mom and a dad and a parent and you're
working and things just don't sometimes pan out. It's just
it's just how it is. It's you know. So it
was called NTDC the known we wanted to do a
podcast that was involving some things that were just frightening,
(23:41):
like you know, the one episode is about shadow people,
another one is about mimics, and the other one is
about possession. So it was something that we wanted to
do and with my wife's help, we were able to
do it. And I'm excited because The Entities of the
Podcasts launches launches on Monday, the twenty seventh, So this
(24:06):
is Wednesday of the twenty ninth, So hopefully you've already
listened to the first two episodes. See this would happen.
I have started taking these fucking things on day offs
screwed me up by dates. So yeah, the first episode
was on the twenty seven, the second on the twenty eighth.
So hopefully after you listen to this, you'll listen to
the third episode, and then the fourth on Thursday, and
(24:27):
the fifth will be Halloween and that one is Possession.
All episodes are released at three thirty in the morning. Yeah,
so I'm excited. Entities of the Unknown very cool, and
a lot of other ideas coming about, like the old
mode Own Comedy special. If you want video of that,
(24:48):
just send me a text a DM get a hold
of me. I'll get shit. It's some you know, it's
it's it's on my to do to figure it out
and put on YouTube or something. But I did that
on my own special, and I did the you know,
my mental health Breakdown special, and apparently apparently everybody is
(25:09):
trying to get into the the special business. And I
guess my own mad Own comedy special inspired a certain
immortal bean. I guess I guess that's what I heard.
You know, Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Good evening mortals and morally flexible immortals. I'm your host,
eight hundred years old, emotionally unavailable, and still dodging garlic
like it's jeury duty. I flew in from Transylvania, and
boy are my wings tired? Mostly from dodging exorcists and
(25:50):
Disney lawyers. Let's get into it. Let's talk self care,
because even when you're undead, you still got to pretend
you're working on yourself. Therapy, wellness retreats, green juice, all
designed to make you feel better about the fact that
you sleep in a box and scream at sunlight. Tried
(26:14):
therapy once. Therapists said I have boundary issues. I said,
I sleep in a box, avoid mirrors, and only talk
to bats. I think I'm good. Went to a wellness retreat.
They said I needed to detox. I said, I haven't
had solid food since the Black Plague. I am the cleans.
(26:38):
My therapist recommended journaling. I said, cool, I'll write about
the time I watched my village burn in thirteen forty seven.
Real growth moment.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Oh mado.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Now I tried to work with Disney. Ones thought I'd
be a great fit. I'm magical, miss understood, and I
sparkle on the moonlight. But apparently draining joy from children
isn't on brand. So let's talk about the real monsters
in the Magic Kingdom. Mickey Mouse told me I was
(27:16):
too theatrical. I said, you've been wearing gloves since nineteen
twenty eight and your dog has a pet dog pot
meat cauldron. Snow White said I was too pale. I said,
you leave with seven men and talk to birds. Maybe
don't throw stones from your glass. Coffin Donald Duck tried
(27:39):
to exercise me. I said, you don't wear pants, and
you scream at children. I think I'm the lesser evil here.
Elsa told me to let it go. I said, I've
been holding grudges since the Crusades. I don't do closure.
I do curses. Oh madeau. Now people say vampires aren't intellectual,
(28:06):
but I've dated physicists, debated philosophers, and once got kicked
out of a TED talk for levitating during the Q
and A. Let's talk about the brilliant minds. I met
Stephen Hawking once. He said I defied physics. I said, baby,
I've been floating through fog and dodging sunlight since Newton
(28:30):
was in diapers. Einstein asked me to explain relativity. I said,
time means nothing when you've been ghosting people since the renaissance.
Tesla tried to harness my aura for electricity.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I said, you.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Want power, try surviving a break up with a vampire
who owns your soul. Oh Madeau. Modern tech is wild.
You've got infl lencers selling haunted crystals, streamers who never sleep,
and smart watches that judge your heart rate while you're
(29:08):
feeding on a barista. Let's talk about the digital chaos.
I've been haunting lately. I at creek Craft once. He
said I was too clingy. I said, you stream for
twelve hours and still ghost me. I've been haunting Rowblock
servers since Beta. I tried joining TikTok God band for
(29:31):
feeding on followers. I said it's called engagement. Cassio told
me I was emotionally unavailable. I said, you're a watch.
I'm undead. We both stopped ticking centuries ago. Being undead
doesn't mean you escape family drama. If anything, it makes
(29:53):
it worse, because nobody dies and grudges less centuries. Let's
talk about vampire reunions, cursed casseroles, and why Aunt Jean
still thinks I should settle down. I dated Aunt Gene once.
Don't judge. Vampire family trees are more like haunted hedges.
(30:16):
Went to a vampire reunion. My cousin tried to stage
an intervention. I said, you drink goat blood and live
in a cave. Maybe sit this one out, all right,
the sun's about to rise and I'm not trying to
burst into flames on stage again. I'm out of here
(30:39):
before someone offers me garlic hummus or asks me to
feel something. Tip your necromancers, hug your haunted objects, and
remember if someone says they're sixty seven, it's not that
meme and look amazing. They're either a vampire or a
real housewife. Good nights, and oh Mondeau, it's oh, don't.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Don't humor him.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Well that's it. This is the eighth Halloween Special the
Pudge Purge. Thank you for joining me. Hope you have
a great Halloween. I love Halloween. It's one of my
favorite holidays. And yeah, thank you for joining me. I
had a good time. Hopefully you enjoyed some of the
stories of the past, some of the segments, and yeah,
(31:33):
thank you for always listening. It's truly appreciative. You guys,
have a great rest of your week. Enjoy Halloween, Enjoy
the upcoming weekend, and I'll see you back here next
week for more of the.
Speaker 6 (31:43):
Daily life of Frank. Bye everybody.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
From your basement.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It's me Bubbles the Clown, and I'm coming to Fine
d
This Halloween. The snacks bite back. Frank ate so many sweets.
One time he woke up in the hospital with DKA.
The nurse's name was Candy. He thought he was dead.
He wasn't, but his pancreas was ghosting him. It's the
(00:24):
Daily Life of Frank eighth Halloween Special. It's the Pudge Purge,
a haunted buffet of Halloween chaos, real stories from Halloween
past segments so spooky even Moose Animo won't nap through them,
(00:45):
and enough candy trauma to make your glucose monitor scream.
The candy wrappers are multiplying. I saw a bag of
Dorito's Levitate, Leo's dress does a haunted lunchable, and Lilian
is dressed as a Reese's peanut butter cup. Tune in
(01:09):
to the Daily Life of Frank Halloween Special eight, The
Pudge Purge, where the only things scarier than ghosts is
push and control and his wife's always watching.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
This is episode three hundred and six, Halloween Special eight,
The Pudge Perge, And before we get into the Halloween fun,
I wanted to take a moment and pause and thank
my awesome wife the hard work and dedication my wife gave.
She was able to get the kids who were cut
(01:51):
in both the crew and play parts in the play.
The school realized that it should have never cut any
of those kids. So thanks to her, the kids that
were cut and wanted to be in it, we're able to.
(02:13):
So thank you to my wife, thank you to the
school for making the wrong the right. And let's get
on to the Halloween Special, shall we. Let's go Episode
three hundred and six. This is Halloween Special eight, The
Pudge Purge. Welcome ONU. In Halloween Special eight, The Pudge Purge.
(02:56):
My name is Frank. Welcome to the day Life of
Frank podcast. I love this episode. It's one of my
favorite episodes every year. And the reason why these episodes
started was I fell in love with Halloween specials as
a kid. I love the Roseanne Halloween specials. I love
the Home Improvement Halloween specials. I loved it all. I
(03:19):
loved it all, and I thought something cool I could
do when I started this podcast back in two thousand
and seven was to have a Halloween special every year.
And I'm excited because I get to share some stories
of Halloween past. Maybe you'll relate to those ninety Halloween
(03:43):
parties you've went to with a trick or treating and
also some fun along the way. Episode three hundred and six,
Halloween Special number eight, the Perche. One of those things
(04:04):
that I love to do when I was a kid
was watch the Simpsons. Remember the treos of Horror. We
used to love those, And if I remember correctly, those
things were on Thursday nights. Thursday Nights and right with
the Simpsons on Thursday nights. Does anybody know? Nobody? No, Well,
I'm in room by myself and the cats. The cats
weren't born then yet, so like, I know what the
fuck you're talking about. Yeah, so the Simpsons. We used
(04:29):
to watch trios of Horror. My cousins we used to.
I think we used to do trigger treating together or
we did it separate, and then we ended up at
my grandma's.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And I remember watching the Simpsons treossa hors with the kids.
And the reason why I bring it up speaking of
those Halloween specials is my kids, my son and daughter
have been asking, and they're you know, nine and eleven,
and they've been asking, can we watch the Simpsons? And
you know, I thought, well, I don't remember. I don't
remember I know at that age I was watching it.
And you know, sometimes I think our parents had a
(04:58):
little bit of leeway we were growing up. Some of
the shows that we watch as kids, probably we wouldn't
show our kids nowadays. But anyway, I was like, sure,
and it's not too bad. It's not too bad. It's
not family guy. But we have a tradition we watch
a new Simpsons episode, you know, h every night we
watch together and we laugh and that's kind of how
(05:20):
we end our nights. But my kids aren't big fans
of the trioscle Horrors yet. I gotta, I think I
gotta try to show them, like some of the older ones.
I think they'll get the older ones, the newer ones.
Maybe they maybe they're just not not clicking. I don't know,
but I'm gonna have to. I'm gonna have to. I'm
gonna have to, you know, get him into some of those,
you know, those older ones, because older ones were awesome.
(05:42):
They were like that, the three D dimensional one and
man oh man, yeah, I love trigger treating. As a kid, obviously,
that's what got me into the hospital TKA. Now not obviously,
not like it went from you know, eating candy. I
laid out my own future as much candy I used
to eat in Halloween, used to eat a lot of kids.
Any of Halloween, I remember it was some years it
(06:04):
was a shitty outside. I don't know why I remember those,
but I remember one year specific, just looking out the
window hoping the rain would end, and just feeling horrible
because there was no trick or treating. It was one
of those things now like if we tell our kids, hey,
we're not going trick or trading, it's raining, they'd be
like they spoiled, they spoiled. But uh yeah, I remember
(06:28):
just looking out the window and just being disappointed. Disappointed,
you know. I don't know why I feel like they
I don't know if I dreamt this as a kid,
or like they pushed it to the next day. I
have no idea. I can't remember. I don't know why
I feel that. But I just got done finishing the
Entities of the Unknown and we were talking about the
back room. So maybe I'm currently in the back room.
(06:50):
I don't know. I don't know. Another time, when we
were trick or treating as kids, there was this one
house and they had perfect scare. It wasn't much, but
when you're eight or nine and you're going through the
neighborhood and you get that scared and you know it
makes you scream. And I fell down the porch stairs.
(07:11):
You know the city in Chicago, you know a lot
of houses have porches. Yeah, so I walked up those
stairs and then I fell fell flat. I tumbled. I
tumbou fold you ot tumboufol you. I tumbled and lost
all my candy. I did, I did. I lost all
my candy. But the prank was really fun. What it
was is, I remember it must have scared me and
(07:34):
traumatized me this bad because I remember it to this day.
It was a kid in the window and there was
a person dressed up I think as the werewolf sitting
in a chair outside, and every time somebody come by,
it would be a little knock and they would jump out.
I didn't notice that at the time. Then I kind
of realized and put things together. But yeah, scared the
(07:55):
shit out of me. Literally, well not literally, because that
would be even worse. Can imagine phone down a flight
of stairs for your candy and then having an accident
to that'd be one that'd be one way to fuck
up your Halloween multiple ways to fuck up your Halloween.
But uh, you know, I've always been a little jumpy.
(08:18):
I love scaring people. I love scaring people, and I'll
talk about how I got my wife last week. But
for the most part, you know, I scare easily. Actually
not for the most part. For all the parts, I
scare very, very easily. And I think it all start
with my dad. My dad, he had this Frankenstein mask
and he would put this mask on and he would
(08:42):
scare the shit out of you. He would, my dad,
like crazy scares. Like you'd be sitting in your bedroom,
which is like on the second floor, and he would,
you know, put a ladder and he would climb up
very quietly, and then you would look and you'd look again,
and then he'd be in the window like he's looking
and push the fucking ladder over or something. But yeah,
he used to do that. I remember this one time
(09:02):
my dad. My dad put on that Frankenstein mask and
I got home from school or football practice, and he
was walking in the backyard with a fake knife. I
believe I never I think. I don't think I still recovered.
I can remember every detail. Like I said before, sometimes
when you're very traumatized. You can read and remember every
(09:23):
detail in your brain. Your brain will remember everything, everything, everything.
I think I fell on the series' like mom calling
that one one dramatic. It was very dramatic, but like
I said, I scare easily. There's one time I worked
(09:45):
at a radio station. Working at a radio station, I
hated October because we had to hit every haunted house.
And of course, you know the people that you're out
there at the event, the you know, haunted houses, who've
paid for advertisements. You want to make them happy, so
you participate in some of those haunted houses. And this
haunted house that we went to, it was in Lombard,
(10:06):
and they knew that I was a scaredy pants. I
was a scaredy pants because how do they know that
I was such a scaredy pants. Well, they turned it
up to about a thousand, so besides the characters who
were roaming and hiding in the radio station van and
all that, which almost scared me and gave me a
heart attack. Going inside the house, it was like turned
(10:32):
up to a million. It was so bad. It was
so bad, and I got scared so bad that one
of the people who were in the house dressed as
one of the monsters. Broke character tapped me on the
shoulder and he said, dude, this is all fake. You
know that. Yeah, I do, I fucking do. Are you
(10:54):
guys panting my therapy down the lane? Are you? No?
Nobody is. Like I said, I loved scaring my family.
I do. But my wife, her paybacks are far and
few in between, Like they're not a lot. You don't
expect it. And when she scares me, she gets me good.
(11:18):
She recorded a video of me. I was in the
bathroom and I came out of the bathroom and she
was hiding behind near the laundry machine, and she said boo,
and I go aha. I jumped, And she has video
of it. It's on the Instagram page at the day
of the Life of Frank. It was a few years ago.
But then I was reminiscing about that video and I
(11:39):
pulled up the video on my phone and I laughed
and I noticed on my phone, I have a few
moments that my wife has recorded of me almost crapping
my pants. Yes, there was a one time where I
tried to get the spider in the bathroom and it
fell almost on me. There was one time playing a
scary VR game with the kids. And then that's what's
(12:00):
the one with my wife. So for your enjoyment, here
you go. Enjoy. This is a very quick ten second
clip of me screaming, So enjoy. This is not made up.
This is not fake. We have time for that later on.
This is real. Listen to this.
Speaker 4 (12:20):
Ah, I don't know, yep, yep.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
The grand finale, the grand finale. Oh my god, I
tell you, I tell you, man. And when she gets me,
she gets me good. He gets me good. But I
got her good the other day. And I'm gonna tell
you why. I played off something. So for the longest time,
(12:55):
and we still not have solved this mystery. We would
get monk Monk's chanting every morning at a certain time
on Alexa. My guess is somebody was probably in the
neighborhood big into meditation and those things, and set up
an automation and they set it up to the wrong Alexa,
or we have a ghost or something like that. I
don't know either, or so I decided. My wife, who
(13:19):
went downstairs, was early morning, probably about five am, to
play some fortnite, have a cup of coffee, and she
wasn't expecting anything and I sat in the chair and
I had demonic whispers come out of the alexa. I
found a playlist. I played nothing but demonic whispers, and yeah,
it scared the hell out of her because I played
it off for a very, very, a good amount of time.
(13:41):
I would tell you quite abou about a half hour hour.
That's a good amount of time. I played it off
and she kept asking and she's like, I'm gonna yell
at Leo sleeping. That's what I was like. Okay, it
was me, can't throw my my bro down. But it
was just one of those things where it was I
(14:04):
don't know, I didn't think it would work, but it
got her really good. And my wife, who is very
big into saging in the house when she feels some
bad you know, vibes flowing with her out, she'll sage.
So I don't know if she thought she opened a
portal or whatnot, but I played those things and I
(14:26):
couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear it. So when I
played those things, she was, yeah, yeah, it scared her.
It was very creepy, she said, and very realistic, which
I didn't plan on it. So if I opened a portal,
that's on me. That is on me, and I apologize
for that. Now I don't need the fake laugh track,
(14:51):
oh man. And then there was one clip I must
have deleted it off my phone. I wanted to play
it for you today. It was where I scared my
wife very good in the shower. She was showering in
her own you know, her own zone, had music going,
and I jumped in that bathroom and I like, ah,
like that, and I think it ended up with her
(15:13):
calling me a stupid mfor. My wife doesn't use the
mfor very much, so when she does use it, you know.
It was a complete success. A complete success. Halloween, I
can't believe is in a couple of days. I really
can't believe it. And I want to dress Moose and
(15:34):
Nemo up, as Sonic Can tells. I think it would
be absolutely hysterical if I can dress up both of them,
as Sonic Can tells. But apparently apparently they had some
costume ideas already that didn't pan out. I guess I
(16:00):
wanted to be a vampire astronaut this year, Cape Helmet
zero gravity, blood sucking the whole vibe.
Speaker 5 (16:08):
I was going to be a haunted influencer ring light
car skincare routine, and a ghost that does my captions.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
But now I'm just a sad moose and glitter eyeliner,
and you look like a tax accountant who died mid audit.
Speaker 6 (16:25):
That's the look.
Speaker 5 (16:26):
It's called haunted deductible.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
We were supposed to trick or treat in style, hit
every house, fill a coffin with candy.
Speaker 5 (16:36):
But no, you can't eat candy. You're undead. It'll rot
your fangs, you'll summon the dentist. I swear being a
mortal is just one long list of dietary restrictions.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I tried licking a Snickers, my tongue burst into flames.
Speaker 5 (16:56):
I sniffed a Twix and heard the voice of my ancestor.
You're screaming not worth it.
Speaker 2 (17:03):
So what do we do now?
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Just sit here and watch the living enjoy nougat pretty much.
Speaker 5 (17:10):
I'm thinking of starting a support group Things without Fudge.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
We could hand out pamphlets don't judge a vampire by
his candy cravings.
Speaker 5 (17:21):
Or just bite someone and steal their emotional satisfaction. That's
basically sugar for the soul.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
Happy Halloween Nemo, Happy hollow Halloween.
Speaker 7 (17:31):
Moose Welcome to the Daily Life of Frank podcast. Sit back, relax,
and relate to Frank as he goes through his daily
life of being a dad, cat, dad, husband, and average guy.
A new episode drops on Wednesdays at six am Central.
Listen on Spotify, iHeartRadio, Apple, Google Podcast, and also can
(17:52):
be found on your favorite podcast player. Find out more
at the Daily Lifefrank dot com.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
All right, welcome back to the Daily Life of Frank
Halloween Special. Now, I don't know, besides the monks who
were chanting, I'm not sure if my house is haunted.
And I know, I know, I don't want to find
out either, but I do kind of want to find out.
I don't know. I thought it'd be a fun segment.
(18:22):
But here's some of the stuff. Right, So first, we
have a fan in the kitchen, a fan in the kitchen,
and every time, and it hasn't done recently, but every
time for you know, every other okay, every other day
we would be in there and have it on, it
(18:43):
would go off, like turn off. So in that whole
like turning off, I was approached by our neighbor. So
it goes off, it goes on, does its thing, right,
didn't think about it, thought, okay, it's tough being electrical, right.
(19:05):
So then I was outside and my neighbor came over.
Never met this person at all, and this is probably
the same, maybe maybe about five or six months after
we moved in, and she goes with your wife home,
and I'm thinking, oh, fuck, what is this that the
kid's too loud outside? This is a Facebook neighbor thing.
(19:28):
I have no way that what the fuck's going on.
I'm like, okay, okay, this is a true story, by
the way.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
And.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Most Nina thing that that might not have been true.
Let's they have real voices and they were able to
find costumes.
Speaker 4 (19:46):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
So she goes out and talks to my wife, and
my wife comes in and it's like dazed, and she's like,
so she told me that when she looks over to
our house at night, she sees a man standing in
the doorway. She sees a man in those you know
(20:09):
screen doors, you know the glass doors she will pull.
She sees a man in the doorway, And she sees
a man in the doorway. But he's not a scary person.
He is, you know, he's very protective and strong and bold,
and he is not a threat, but he's he's there,
and I was like, all right, move out, We're going
(20:30):
fuck this, pack it up.
Speaker 3 (20:32):
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Everybody grab the shit, don't grab shit, forget it. Whatever
we get we don't grab. All right, forget it. Let's go.
Everybody out. And that sticks with me. At night when
I have to close down all the lights, I still
think of that. And that's like probably about eight years ago.
So I still envision that in my fucking brain cell
(20:53):
every time. And then we started having some other problems recently.
Right our power was going out at random time's the
lights flicker in the bathroom, the lights flicker in the garage.
So I'm like, uh, okay, and I don't think about
that man. We make that guy who's in our window.
(21:14):
But you know, first I was like, did you follow
up with questions? Is he like five foot six and fat? No,
it's tall. It's tall guy and skiddy. So that is
obviously wasn't me unless my wife hmm, wait a minute.
But yeah, So all that stuff going on I found
(21:37):
out last week. My wife texted me and she said,
do you know the library has something called the Library
of Things where you can rent out goes hunting equipment,
I say, shut the fuck up. First, I said, oh
my god, we're gonna get to the back. Okay, I'm kidding.
I firstly said to myself, oh my god, this's be
a great segment for the Halloween special. I will record
(21:58):
what I can and see if there really are ghost
in this house.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
And then I was like, okay, it'll be cool to
see too. Or maybe it wasn't that cool, but I
was like, what's good to know? Are we gonna rent
out again next year or not? Or today or this week?
We're gonna leave today? My wife told me fuck no,
you know, and I expected it. I respected it, you know,
the sage, the sage thing, right. I knew she wasn't
(22:23):
going to say yes. I tried. I tried a couple
different ways.
Speaker 4 (22:27):
Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
But if you want to find out, if you want
to find out if you have a ghost in your house,
apparently some libraries rent out that equipment, so check your
local library and let me know. But I am not
doing here. I'm not doing it here, I tell you, Nope, nope, nope.
So I mentioned earlier that I recorded the Entities of
the Unknown podcast, and I'm really really excited for this podcast.
(22:54):
As you know, I had my mental health breakdown podcast.
So I like to do some of these podcasts that
are you know a little bit different, a little bit
outside my normal daily life, you know. Podcast And the
one thing that my wife and I were working on
last year and as always, things have you know, you know,
(23:16):
they sometimes just don't pan out, especially when you're you know,
a mom and a dad and a parent and you're
working and things just don't sometimes pan out. It's just
it's just how it is. It's you know. So it
was called NTDC the known we wanted to do a
podcast that was involving some things that were just frightening,
(23:41):
like you know, the one episode is about shadow people,
another one is about mimics, and the other one is
about possession. So it was something that we wanted to
do and with my wife's help, we were able to
do it. And I'm excited because The Entities of the
Podcasts launches launches on Monday, the twenty seventh, So this
(24:06):
is Wednesday of the twenty ninth, So hopefully you've already
listened to the first two episodes. See this would happen.
I have started taking these fucking things on day offs
screwed me up by dates. So yeah, the first episode
was on the twenty seven, the second on the twenty eighth.
So hopefully after you listen to this, you'll listen to
the third episode, and then the fourth on Thursday, and
(24:27):
the fifth will be Halloween and that one is Possession.
All episodes are released at three thirty in the morning. Yeah,
so I'm excited. Entities of the Unknown very cool, and
a lot of other ideas coming about, like the old
mode Own Comedy special. If you want video of that,
(24:48):
just send me a text a DM get a hold
of me. I'll get shit. It's some you know, it's
it's it's on my to do to figure it out
and put on YouTube or something. But I did that
on my own special, and I did the you know,
my mental health Breakdown special, and apparently apparently everybody is
(25:09):
trying to get into the the special business. And I
guess my own mad Own comedy special inspired a certain
immortal bean. I guess I guess that's what I heard.
You know, Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
Good evening mortals and morally flexible immortals. I'm your host,
eight hundred years old, emotionally unavailable, and still dodging garlic
like it's jeury duty. I flew in from Transylvania, and
boy are my wings tired? Mostly from dodging exorcists and
(25:50):
Disney lawyers. Let's get into it. Let's talk self care,
because even when you're undead, you still got to pretend
you're working on yourself. Therapy, wellness retreats, green juice, all
designed to make you feel better about the fact that
you sleep in a box and scream at sunlight. Tried
(26:14):
therapy once. Therapists said I have boundary issues. I said,
I sleep in a box, avoid mirrors, and only talk
to bats. I think I'm good. Went to a wellness retreat.
They said I needed to detox. I said, I haven't
had solid food since the Black Plague. I am the cleans.
(26:38):
My therapist recommended journaling. I said, cool, I'll write about
the time I watched my village burn in thirteen forty seven.
Real growth moment.
Speaker 2 (26:50):
Oh mado.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Now I tried to work with Disney. Ones thought I'd
be a great fit. I'm magical, miss understood, and I
sparkle on the moonlight. But apparently draining joy from children
isn't on brand. So let's talk about the real monsters
in the Magic Kingdom. Mickey Mouse told me I was
(27:16):
too theatrical. I said, you've been wearing gloves since nineteen
twenty eight and your dog has a pet dog pot
meat cauldron. Snow White said I was too pale. I said,
you leave with seven men and talk to birds. Maybe
don't throw stones from your glass. Coffin Donald Duck tried
(27:39):
to exercise me. I said, you don't wear pants, and
you scream at children. I think I'm the lesser evil here.
Elsa told me to let it go. I said, I've
been holding grudges since the Crusades. I don't do closure.
I do curses. Oh madeau. Now people say vampires aren't intellectual,
(28:06):
but I've dated physicists, debated philosophers, and once got kicked
out of a TED talk for levitating during the Q
and A. Let's talk about the brilliant minds. I met
Stephen Hawking once. He said I defied physics. I said, baby,
I've been floating through fog and dodging sunlight since Newton
(28:30):
was in diapers. Einstein asked me to explain relativity. I said,
time means nothing when you've been ghosting people since the renaissance.
Tesla tried to harness my aura for electricity.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
I said, you.
Speaker 3 (28:47):
Want power, try surviving a break up with a vampire
who owns your soul. Oh Madeau. Modern tech is wild.
You've got infl lencers selling haunted crystals, streamers who never sleep,
and smart watches that judge your heart rate while you're
(29:08):
feeding on a barista. Let's talk about the digital chaos.
I've been haunting lately. I at creek Craft once. He
said I was too clingy. I said, you stream for
twelve hours and still ghost me. I've been haunting Rowblock
servers since Beta. I tried joining TikTok God band for
(29:31):
feeding on followers. I said it's called engagement. Cassio told
me I was emotionally unavailable. I said, you're a watch.
I'm undead. We both stopped ticking centuries ago. Being undead
doesn't mean you escape family drama. If anything, it makes
(29:53):
it worse, because nobody dies and grudges less centuries. Let's
talk about vampire reunions, cursed casseroles, and why Aunt Jean
still thinks I should settle down. I dated Aunt Gene once.
Don't judge. Vampire family trees are more like haunted hedges.
(30:16):
Went to a vampire reunion. My cousin tried to stage
an intervention. I said, you drink goat blood and live
in a cave. Maybe sit this one out, all right,
the sun's about to rise and I'm not trying to
burst into flames on stage again. I'm out of here
(30:39):
before someone offers me garlic hummus or asks me to
feel something. Tip your necromancers, hug your haunted objects, and
remember if someone says they're sixty seven, it's not that
meme and look amazing. They're either a vampire or a
real housewife. Good nights, and oh Mondeau, it's oh, don't.
Speaker 4 (31:10):
Don't humor him.
Speaker 2 (31:13):
Well that's it. This is the eighth Halloween Special the
Pudge Purge. Thank you for joining me. Hope you have
a great Halloween. I love Halloween. It's one of my
favorite holidays. And yeah, thank you for joining me. I
had a good time. Hopefully you enjoyed some of the
stories of the past, some of the segments, and yeah,
(31:33):
thank you for always listening. It's truly appreciative. You guys,
have a great rest of your week. Enjoy Halloween, Enjoy
the upcoming weekend, and I'll see you back here next
week for more of the.
Speaker 6 (31:43):
Daily life of Frank. Bye everybody.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
From your basement.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
It's me Bubbles the Clown, and I'm coming to Fine
d
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Whether you’re a scaredy-cat or a brave bat, this collection of episodes from iHeartPodcasts will put you in the Halloween spirit. Binge stories, frights, and more that may keep you up at night!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.