September 10, 2025 • 53 mins
A new era of The Daily Life of Frank returns next week but until then we are flashing back to Episode 1 where it all began. Below is the same preview I used back then. All the way back from June 28th, 2017 it’s the very episode of The Daily Life of Frank!
It’s the very first episode of The Daily Life of Frank Podcast. This week, Frank introduces his family and their endearing qualities. He also shares his fat guy complaints, how no one should eat a calzone on their own, and talks about the various events that took place in Chicago over the weekend. He also shares why you should never get out of changing a diaper. All this and more on the very first episode of The Daily Life of Frank Podcast.
It’s the very first episode of The Daily Life of Frank Podcast. This week, Frank introduces his family and their endearing qualities. He also shares his fat guy complaints, how no one should eat a calzone on their own, and talks about the various events that took place in Chicago over the weekend. He also shares why you should never get out of changing a diaper. All this and more on the very first episode of The Daily Life of Frank Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This fall, things get weird, things get spooky, and things
get way more Frank. Daily Life of Frank Halloween Special
is back. Pumpkins, costumes, candy, chaos, you know the true,
(00:20):
But this year we're turning it up to eleven. And
if that's not enough to rattle your skeleton, Introducing a
brand new podcast series, The Entities of the Unknown, Real.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Stories, real chills, real weird. You'll laugh, you'll scream, you'll
probably question reality.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Also, Dad voicemail lines are coming. Leave your rants, your
dad jokes, your questionable advice. I might just play it
on the show or use it as evidence in therapy.
Plus new segments, surprise guests, giveaways, and much much more.
(01:09):
It's fall, baby, and The Daily Life of Frank is
coming in hot. So grab your hoodie, your pumpkin spice,
and your emotional baggage because this season we're doing it all.
Subscribe now, Tell a friend, Tell your weird uncle. The
(01:29):
Daily Life of Frank where fall gets freaky.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Hello and welcome. This is the debut Wife of Frank
podcast episode number one. It's the pilot episode. So happy
to be here, so happy to be part of the
Yak Channel, finally a podcasting channel. That is dedicated to
Chicago podcasters. I'm so so I cannot wait to give
(02:04):
you guys some cool shows. I can't I'm excited. Hopefully
you think they're cool and you listen and you know
you don't turn away. But if you don't like the podcast,
instead of just turning it away completely, I suggest you
take the podcast and share it with someone you don't like.
Maybe it's a boss, maybe it's an next girlfriend, and
(02:27):
be like, hey, you know we didn't work out, and yeah,
we've been fighting a lot, even though we're not together anymore.
But I have this podcast that I think you should
listen to. I think it's pretty cool on as your
former lover. I want you to listen to it. That's
how I imagine it goes. But I don't even know
if that's even going to get to that far. But
(02:48):
you know, just pass it along, pass it along to
someone you don't like. That's fine. I'm fine with it.
I'm fine. The podcast is about my opinions, yes, my opinions,
which sometimes don't matter, do they No? What the podcast
really is about is the podcast is me bringing you
(03:11):
each week a funny, average guy, relatable point of view.
I'm parenting, life, pop culture, sports, and everything else in between.
I'm a dad. I have a wife, my two kids.
One is Lilian. She's three years old. Lilian, my god,
Lillian is a thirteen year old trapped in a three
(03:33):
year old body. The girl has sas SaaS SaaS SaaS SaaS.
She's sassy, she has attitude, and god, it scares me already.
So I'm sure I will be talking more about my
beautiful little girl. And I have a son. He's named Leo,
one years old. One years old, handsome as handsome can be,
(03:58):
blue eyes, blond hair, and he uses his looks, his
looks to get out of trouble, to get out of everything,
to get out of being bad. He could break something
and he'd be like hmmm, and he passed those blue eyes,
and you're like, damn it. So that's my family, and
(04:21):
I'll be sharing more about them. I'll just send a
little bit here now. When it comes to Chicago, I
am born and raised on Chicago, born and raised in Chicago.
On Chicago. That sounds weird. I was born and raised
on Chicago. Like literally born and raised on Chicago. I
(04:42):
was born and raised in Chicago, grew up on the
southwest Side West Lawn Park shout out to the West
Lawn Park area played Midway Baseball. Mm hmmm, so oh yeah, yeah,
I was a a southwest Side boy Midway air Port.
He used to watch the airplanes with my dad. We
(05:05):
used to park and watch them, which we can't do
anymore for obvious reasons. If we if we were, if
this was back then, was today, uh me and my
dad would both be serving like twenty to life for
just today. Look at the airplanes. Wow, look at the
flight patterns up and down and around. They go, wow, Yeah,
(05:25):
that's not that's not gonna work. Uh and that will
not be that's not that's not good. So uh yeah
I have that and you know, just just normal kid
growing up in a crazy household. So I'm sure I'll
share that with you. And and also a lot more.
I want to get back to my family, uh my
two kids and my wife and kind of give them
(05:46):
a little bit of their like personality, a little bit
of what they what they bring, and they bring a
lot and a lot I mean, is uh some of
these cool qualities. For instance, my daughter Lilian, who I've
told you before has sass, who has sass? And no
cure in the world. She could also be the sweetest
(06:12):
girl too, So I don't want to like give her
like make her sound like, oh my god, he has
the second coming of Damien. Feel bad for him. You No,
she is. She's a cool kid. She's going to be
a UFC fighter, and I'm very excited for that. I'm
very excited that she'll become a UFC fighter one day.
The reason why I say this she's gonna become a
(06:32):
UFC fighter is because she does like to kick her
brother Leo in the face, so she does have that
going for you know, Hey, it's a little girl. She's three.
She was the queen of the castle, and all of
a sudden, this little dude comes along. Okay, and now
(06:52):
he's screwing with things because he's walking and he's grabbing things,
and he's grabbing toys and he's doing all these these
crazy things. And she gets mad. So instead of saying, hey,
mom and dad, Leo's taking me off, she decides to,
you know, kick him in the face. Now it's okay.
He was only knocked out once. We gave him smelling
salt and he was all better, So only one knockout
(07:14):
under a belt so I think her record is twenty
and oh and then only one one ko, so that's good.
And speaking of Leo, mister blue Eyes himself handsome as
handsome can be. He's going to be a lady killer
one day, which I don't really like that term because
(07:35):
it sounds like he's going to be a serial killer
that hunts women down. So I don't think that's the
term I really want to use. I think lady killer
is not not what I want to use. That doesn't
sound right. It's to be a lady killer, it's gonna
kill women. Yeah, So let's not use that word. Let's
a term. Let's let's just say he's a he's a
(07:57):
boy who knows how to play the game aim. And
what I mean with that is this kid he could
do no wrong. He could scream, he could break things,
he could kick the wall, it doesn't matter. He will
pat those blue eyes and he'll be like, damn it,
why are you so cute? So he knows how to
(08:20):
play the system. And two, you know, he has his
mom and he is definitely a mama's boy, so he
makes sure to rub make sure is to rub that
in my face. He does, He rubs it in my face.
He does when he cries and pouts and he runs
to Mama. When that really runs because he can't walk yet.
(08:42):
He just scoots and crawls. He crawls to Mama and
he picks her up and he just looks at me,
and I think for the extra like kick into my stomach.
He rubs his face in her boobs, so he's like, huh,
look what I have. You don't get these anymore. You're married. Jeez, God, sorry.
(09:08):
So yeah, so that's my life, and the captain of
the ship, of course, is my wife, Kate. Kate. I
swear to God, I can't do any anything. I I
can't ask for a better person. That's what I'm gonna
try to say. And that's what I'm trying to say.
It's what I am saying. What I'm trying to say. No,
(09:30):
I'm saying it. See and now I'm talking to myself
saying this out loud. And it's not because I'm a
good friend. I have schizophrenia. Okay, I have other issues,
and Michell'll be covering those with other episodes. But I'm
just you know, I'm so excited. It's like, you know,
like a kid on Christmas morning, you know, or a
fat kid on Thanksgiving Day. Now you get so excited.
(09:53):
That's how I am. So I keep screwing up my lines.
And you know what thing about a podcast is the
great thing about a podcast is it is how you
want to make it. If I want to sit here
and podcast and just you know, just drop the mic
like I can do that. I can do that, and
that edits it, because you know why, it's a podcast. Baby,
(10:16):
it could be as raw as raw can be. This
baby can be raw. I could ride this podcast raw. Okay,
that sounds sexual. I don't think I'm ever gonna use
that term again. I don't think you should ride anything raw? Right,
Am I right for saying something like that, because yeah,
(10:38):
I'm gonna ride this thing raw. Doesn't sound Yeah, that
sounds bad. That sounds very dirty. So make sure in
the future I never say ride that raw like you know,
I don't know, I go to the farmer's market with
the family I'm going. I could be like, I like
to ride that farmer's market raw. Yeah, ride and raw
(11:02):
should never be in the same sentence. I'm beginning, I'm
declaring that that no one should ever use the words
ride and raw. In any kind of sentence or statement
or anything. I declare that, so you can't use it.
But you know, back to my wife, and what a
(11:23):
transition of going to going from ride and raw to
my wife. It's a perfect transition. This is great already
talking about her boobs and then going in from ride
and raw to my wife. This is going to give
me Bronnie points. I'm gonna be Oh god, I'm gonna
be sleeping on that futon. But my backbone, my backbone
(11:47):
is my wife. She is who keeps me in line,
keeps me organized, puts up with all my shit. And
God only knows how much shit I give to her,
Oh my God, on a daily is the poor woman.
I'm surprised doesn't murder me. I really, I am really surprised.
I'm really surprised he doesn't try to kill me. And
(12:10):
I think the only reason why she doesn't try to
kill me is it would be a lot of work
and a lot of cleanup. I'm a fat guy, Okay,
I'm fat, I'm heavy, and by the time she, you know,
picks my body up and carries me somewhere and dumbs me,
it would just be too much work. That's why she's
(12:31):
probably not killing me. You know, I am a person
that suffers from anxiety depression. The big one is OCD.
So I have a lot of things going on, and
I think that when you have those things going on,
(12:52):
you don't realize that your anxiety, or your depression, or
even my OCD. I'll have a quick OCD story, and
I do apologize. I have this bad habit of it
starting the story and then finishing it at forty five
minutes later. I don't know what it is, so I
do apologize. If you're listening and you're like, God took
him forty five minutes to finish that goddamn story. I
(13:16):
don't have that time. My wife, not my wife, yes,
my wife. And see this other bad thing I have
is I own only thirty four, but I have the
worst short term memory. I don't know where I was
going with that, And now I try to look at
my notes, which looks like a doctor's handwriting, or my
(13:37):
three year old just wrote everything down, So I don't
even know where I was gonna go. What I'm trying
to say is having anxiety, having depression, having OCD, that
is very hard for your spouse or your loved ones.
Who don't have it but do have it. You know,
we all suffer from anxiety, we all get sad here
(13:58):
and there, and we all like to rearrange thanks. So
when you have it very bad and then you are
like a complete mess, you really need that backbone in
your life. So I'm very grateful to have Kate in
my life because she is that backbone, and she is
the the reason why I am able to go on
(14:25):
every day and to stay focused, you know, because I,
like I said, I give Kate a lot of shit.
I put Kate through a lot, you know, And I'm
so grateful because Kate is the person that you know,
tells me it's going to be okay, and also is
honest when when shit does hit the fan, She'll tell me, no,
(14:48):
we're fucked. So it's great, it's great. You know. She's like, ah,
you know, we're fucked, but why don't you take your
mind off and Rea arrange the dishes in the cabinet.
She doesn't say it like that. She's not just imagined
what she says. If she used my like OCD against me. Actually,
(15:12):
if I was married to somebody who had OCD, I'd
probably use it against them too. You know because I mean, right,
am I wrong? I mean like, look what if like,
you know, you you have this painting on the wall right,
and you're like, damn it, I've been looking at this
painting for an hour and I can't get it straight.
You know what, forget it. I'm just gonna leave it.
And you're like, hmm, wait a minute. You know, you
(15:34):
call your OCD spouse and hey, uh does this painting
look straight and like, hmm, it doesn't. I'm gonna make
it straight. And it takes him like thirty seven hours
to make it straight and it's finally straight. They don't
think it is, but it is. Uh so yeah. So
she puts up with a lot, and I love her
(15:54):
and I am so grateful to have her in my life.
I was saying before that I'm fat. Yes, Am I
happy that I'm fat? No, I'm not happy. What I
like to snap my fingers and become skinny. Yes, yes,
kind of kind of. And the only reason why I
would want to be skinny is because then when I
go to like the movies, or I go to like
(16:18):
the Old State Arena, or if I go on an airplane,
I could fit comfortably into a seat or a restaurant
in a booth. Don't get me started about why they
make those booths so small and why you know, why
they don't make them wide enough for a fat person
to sit in? There is beyond me craziness. Why why
(16:41):
wouldn't you do that? Getting mad? Getting mad? But you know,
fat people and skinny people or you know, sort of
skinny people are different, different mindsets, different different different reasons
why they have a bad day. And I had that
(17:02):
notion because of the day I had This morning. I
woke up and I was excited. I was pumped. This
podcast day number one, number one, I'm excited. Here we go,
podcast episode number one. I'm gonna go get myself a treat.
And the reason why I wanted to go went out
(17:22):
and got myself a treat for breakfast was because my
wife and kids are away and I'm gonna tell you
more about that coming up. So I had a treat.
I went to McDonald's and I was so excited. I
ordered the McDonald's order wrong. How do you order it wrong?
You ask, Well, when you order it like a smug asshole,
(17:44):
it's wrong. It's very simple. When you go to McDonald's,
you pull up to the window, and you say, I'll
have the number seven uh with a coffee, three creams,
three sugar, and uh throw in three apple pies and
then you know, go to the window and get your
(18:05):
apple pies and your breakfast. I didn't wear it like
that because I was mister happy, go lucky this morning.
I fucked everything up, which fucked my day up. Yes,
if you haven't guessed already, I like to swear. I
blame it on being Italian one hundred percent, so I
do have a tendency to say the F word a lot.
I apologize. So yeah, So I go there and I
(18:27):
instead of going the usual number six and three burritos.
I know it's embarrassing. I went there and said I
will have the sausage biscuit today with a cheese. She's like,
is there anything else? And I thought it was weird
because you didn't ask for my drink order. And I'm like,
first I'm like, I what a stupid idiot, And then
(18:49):
I'm like a coffee with cream and sugar and a sprite,
large sprite, please pull around like mister smug asshole today.
That's how I was. I pulled up, I paid, I
got my coffee, I got my sprite. I came home.
I was excited. I was going to eat the hash brown.
(19:10):
If I could eat it, I could eat a back
full of hash browns right now. Don't tempt me. I will.
I will do it. I swear to God I will.
So I had a hash brown, hoping to have a
hash brown, and I opened that bag and there was
no hash brown in there, no hash brown because I
ordered the order wrong. I didn't say a number seven.
(19:33):
I just said I wanted a sausage and biscuit with
egg and cheese. That's what I said. And I didn't
say that I wanted three creams or three sugars in
the coffee. No, I didn't. So I got one cream,
one sugar, one sandwich and a sprite. Now some of
you are at homegoing, Okay, that's uh should feed you, right,
(19:58):
that should be enough for you to eat and whatever. Whatever. Yeah,
you could laugh at me. No, it's not. I wanted
a damn hash brown. That's what I wanted, you know,
That's all I want it. And speaking of McDonald's, I
(20:18):
love McDonald's, but I really can't stand people that go
through McDonald's and just order uh the like one thing
when they go through and they're like, fucking McDonald's gonna
take your order and the person goes, I will have
a diet coke large. They're like anything else today, and
they're like no, and they pull around. I'm like, the
(20:40):
fuck's wrong with you? You're fucking McDonald's. You have fucking
French fries and cheeseburgers and and everything. They want to
you just want to coke a diet coke, And it's
what the fuck you want? Fucking go to seven to
eleven so and what the fuck? Why are you in
the lawn? Why are you in the line, you're holding
(21:03):
the lineup? Or are you health nuts out there? You
pull up for breakfast and they go can I take
your order? And you're like, I'll have a yogurt parfay,
just a black coffee small, thank you, And you're like, what,
go piss off or do something else? Just a parfay?
(21:25):
The funck? Why is that fucking parfa even on the menu.
Take it off. It seems like it's out of place,
you know, right, they would be like me, you know,
trying to be an athlete, Like you know, I'm five
foot six and I'm fat. If I'm like you know
(21:45):
you don't see me on the Bulls right, God would
that be awkward? Be like, God, who the fuck is that?
Jesus the bulls man. They can't draft anybody anymore. First
they're trading Jimmy Butler. Now they got this fat guy
on the team. What the hell is going on? What
is it even doing in the lineup? Get out of
here and cook. And the other thing, too, is three cookies.
(22:07):
What the hell is that? Get those off the menu. Okay,
let's keep it to the basic. Okay, fries, burgers, shakes, cokes, pies,
that's all we need. Parfes, go go screw off somewhere.
I think I'm getting a little bit of like fat jealous.
You know, I'm just thinking to myself. Now, Man, a
skinny dude, Lucky Bashard goes to McDonald or is a
(22:29):
parfe runs Tory thirty seven miles and you know he's
having a good day. I eat what I eat for
McDonald's breakfast, and then I can't move anymore and I
can't fit into my shorts. So yeah, but you know what,
being a fat guy, I gotta say something. But being
a fat guy, I do hold up pretty well. And
what I mean by that is I really. I do
(22:52):
credit my wife once again for this. I am pretty
good at dressing myself, making sure I'm clean, having cologne
and deodorant, and just making sure I look well. I
present well. I'm not some kind of you know, slob,
(23:14):
So I make sure you know I look good. And
nothing pisses the fat guy off more when there's another
fat guy who decides, you know what, screw it, I'm
gonna wear a T shirt and I'm going to wear
my sports shorts, the elastic ones because I had three
burritos last night and I can't fit into him. You
know what, people out there that are my size, you
(23:37):
could learn a lesson from me. Okay, Okay, I ate
a whole keel zone and not a tiny kel zone
that you get at a restaurant. I ate a kel
zone from Rossatti's. And if you don't know how big
a Rossotti keel zone is, my son is smaller than
a rosatti is kel zone and he is pretty tall
(23:59):
for his Okay, guess what the next day, I couldn't
fit into my shorts. Okay, but instead of putting my
elastic shorts on my summer shorts, my I'm not doing anything.
I'm gonna go cut the grass, even though I don't
cut the grass. They live in a town home. I
squeezed into my shorts. Yes, it took me half an hour,
(24:22):
but I did it. Kel Zones, you really shouldn't eat
kel zones on your own, and you shouldn't eat a
whole one, especially from Rosati's, because I'm not joking when
I tell you this guy, this kel zone is is
freaking humongous. It was like the biggest kel zone you've
ever seen in your entire life. They're so good, so
(24:43):
so so good, but all that cheese and stuff, Oh
my god. I was bloated for like three days. Seriously,
I had diarrhea and I was bloated for three days
because there's a lot of stuff going on. It's like
your system. I mean, because they make those kel zones
for two people, three people. I think it's a feeds
four and I meaning for one, you know, feeds forward
(25:04):
Christ's sakes, And I'm having the holding by myself. That's
gonna screw your system. My stomach's gonna go. My stomach's like,
what the what the fuck is going on? What are
you doing to ask? Guys? All right, everybody in testines.
We gotta work hard, and don't anus. Let's go. Come on,
let's go. Everybody. Everybody work all right, Anus rectum, No
(25:25):
need for you to be an asshole, right now, come on,
let's go. So yeah, but it was a delicious cal zone.
Granted I should never have eat it on my own.
It was good. It was good. It was good and delicious.
And yes, I will eat that kel zone again, I
(25:47):
I swear to God. So I was saying earlier, my
family is gone, my wife and kids, they're gone. And uh,
when you are a parent and your awesome wife takes
the kids up to visit her mom and dad and
for her dad's birthday and you're left alone and you
(26:09):
should really enjoy it, and it's like it's crazy nass, Okay,
like craziness. You know, you're thinking, oh my god, I'm
gonna sit around in my underwear all day, I'm going
to watch TV. I'm gonna watch sports. You know, maybe
I'll watch a movie on Cinemax after ten. Oh, it's
going to be fun. It's not fun. Let me tell
(26:31):
you why it's not fun, because once you take away
the craziness, it's not fun anymore. Okay, what I mean
by that is for those that are not married and
have kids. God bless you. I really wish I had
your life. I'm kidding you know. It's one of those
things where you you sit around right and it's it's crazy. Okay,
(26:57):
the kids are crying, the kids need to be chained,
kids need to eat. Okay, it's all going on. And
then you know, you gotta buy diapers, you gotta buy formula.
You know, your little girl's potty training, but she you
just pooed herself in a jewel, which we'll talk about
(27:18):
that on a future episode. And you're like, man, this
is crazy. And then like when your wife's like, I'm
gonna take the kids, We're gonna go and uh have
fun this weekend, and you're like yes, and you're planning
your weekend out. It doesn't happen like that. Next thing
you're doing is you're trying to find the crazy. So
like yesterday, I'm like doing laundry, I'm like putting shit away.
(27:40):
I'm organizing shit because my OCD, you know. So that's
how I spent my day. And then you know, on
top of it, I'm getting ready for this this podcast
and this is like the new and it proved, and oh,
I'm so excited. And just kind of a quick history
of myself. I started out in radio. Okay, No, I'm
(28:00):
not the radio you're thinking of, not like you know,
terrestrial radio. I wasn't on B ninety six, you know,
like imagine B ninety six. All right, more music coming
up next on B B ninety six. This is filthy Frank.
Why would my name be philthy Frank? I have no idea.
(28:20):
And anyway, if I was gonna listen to a top
forty radio station, or be on a top forty radio
station for that matter, I would go to one that's
number one, I'd be Kiss FM. Oh, I'm just kidding.
Don't get mad, and please, for God's sakes, do not
send me hate mail or anything like that, because I
just made fun of B ninety six. I love B
ninety six, okay. I love all types of music. I
(28:41):
love Kiss FM. I think Fred and Angie in the
Morning are hysterical, Okay. I love those guys. I love
country music. I love I love talk, I love WGN,
I love WBBMAM, I love everybody. I love all the
radio stations. Okay. But I'm just saying, you know, I
(29:01):
think Filthy Frank would be a perfect DJ name, and
he would have to be on a top station. That's
all I'm saying. Okay, you know, I don't know, you
never know, so yeah, So anyway, you know, I was
on US twenty nine, not on the air. I was
(29:22):
behind the scenes. I was promotions and I also did
board opping, which is I just pressed buttons when DJs
weren't there. So I did that, and it was it
was a fun time in my life. And and uh,
it's just at that point, I was still going through
school and you know, I needed something that was more stable,
(29:44):
I guess you should say on a job. It was.
It was a very low cost, little low paying position.
That's because it was an internship, and you know, it
is what it was. But I lived in the suburbs then,
and having to take a train to Chicago every day
(30:07):
and back, I couldn't afford it. So I left that.
I went to school for marketing, and I love marketing.
I think marketing is the greatest thing in the world,
and marketing is used in every company. So I was
really happy to be part of marketing and have my
(30:28):
degree in there. So I was still, you know, with
that radio itch. You know, I knew I wasn't going
to be Filthy Frank beat Andy six anymore. So I
had to find a different way that I can do,
you know, radio and podcasting, those sorts of things. Because I,
(30:48):
even though I was part of you know, I was
getting my career in marketing, I still wanted to be
part of radio and podcasting somehow. So, you know, I
did the hobby route, and I started off with an
internet radio show. And I've always loved radio. When I
(31:09):
was a kid, I used to do radio shows with
my brothers. We used to tape the mancasettes and then
from there we used to you know, I used to
do like fake show so to speak, like I would
sit there and be like, hey, this is Philthy Frank,
even though my name wasn't Philly Frank. I don't know
why I keep saying that, but I was doing you know,
(31:32):
fake shows as well and everything like that. So I
loved it. So I, you know, got onto internet radio.
Internet radio was just starting out. I developed a show
called The Frank Radio Show and it was on the
air for seven years. It was nothing big. We didn't
have fifty million people listening. We didn't and why I
(31:54):
say we is because I did the show with my
brother and then also my cousin and it was a
great time. Interviewed a lot of green people. Ginger Z
from Good Morning America she was on my show, interviewed
Duff Goldman from Ace of Cakes Food Network Guy, So
we never got a chance to interview Guy Fieri. But
then again, I have a no douchebag policy on my show,
(32:17):
so that's probably probably the reason why I didn't do that.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I don't know if
Guy Fiory is a douchebag. I know my mom would
be mad because I'm judging somebody on their apparents. But
I don't know anybody that has blonde, beach blind spiked
hair and and fist pumps everybody. I don't know. If I,
(32:41):
you know, search that I google the term douche she
may come up. I don't know. But if Guy Fear
anymore wants to be on the show and you know,
talk about food or bring me food, I'd be more
than happy to eat Guy. Eat with Guy. Now, eat
Guy sounds even dirty eer than the other things I
was talking about today. Okay, now now that this show
(33:02):
has finally hit the hole. Hit the hole, Jesus God.
So anyway, so you know that that was that I
grew up listening and just loving the Steve Doll show.
I tried to mimic my podcast and my radio show
(33:23):
and even this podcast off of Steve Doll. I think
that Steve is is such a legend and he has
a great way of presenting himself and the show, and God,
I just you know, I hope I could be as
good as Steve Dahl one day. I hope one day
(33:45):
Steve Dall. You know, I had one interesting moment with
Steve when I worked at the radio station. Steve was
on the air at one five to nine w CKG,
and we wrote an elevator together and I didn't say anything,
and I didn't realize it was Steve Doll to the end.
And thank god I didn't because I might have went
up and hugged him, which would have been very awkward,
but it would also give him some content for his show.
(34:07):
There was this fat kid, this fat kid in the
elevator and he hugged me. And I don't know why
I did that voice because it doesn't sound like Steve
Doll at all. So I have no idea what the
hell that was. So I apologized to everybody that I
you guys at home and everybody else for doing a
voice like that. So yeah, yeah, I did try to
(34:28):
bring the podcast back last May. It was called the
Average Guy Podcast and would have been the Adventures of
the Average Guy Podcast. What happened was it was May
and my son was born in June, and I'm sure
I'll cover this on a future episode. But my son
had to get surgery and everything kind of fell apart.
(34:51):
So that was, you know, that was kind of it.
I did try to bring up back in the end
of July and August, but I had a bad reaction
to medication and I suffered the most severe anxiety attacks
I've ever had my entire life. It included me not
(35:12):
being able to sit down. I didn't sleep for months,
and it was just bad and I was wrongly diagnosed.
So that is my zop story, which I'm sure I
will share on a future show. I promise. I promise
I will share it on a future future show maybe
(35:35):
who knows, who knows? Yeah, now I'm here, I'm doing
this podcast. I'm very excited, you know, very very happy
to be on this the YAC channel and the Chica
you know, Chicago networking podcasters. This is awesome. It's so cool.
It's so cool. I've had so many great opportunities. My
(35:57):
blog is on Chicago now dot com. It's the Adventure
of the Average Dad and I talk about my parenting
and all the funny things that happened. So it's just
it's just it's just been fun. And these are cool
obbies to have. Some of you like to collect stamps, Okay,
I like to do radio. I like to do podcasting.
That's who I am. Yes, so I'm excited. I'm excited
(36:20):
to be here. You know, I don't know if the
show was ever going to take off today. This is
the reason so well, I did kind of a run
this morning. I had. I felt good about the podcast,
and then when I looked at the audio, uh, the
audio didn't record. So this is actually take two and two.
I've been screwing around with this damn microphone, which I
(36:42):
bought off of Amazon for like three dollars. I know
it's my own fault, and it's just it picks up
like weird sounds. I know, like it's not like a
condenser mic And okay, I know all that stuff, but
it picks up like the mic and the connection don't
seem to be working very well. So like it's like
(37:05):
that's what it sounds like sometimes, and I'm like, damn it.
So I spent four hours trying to fix that, and
then I just said to myself, you are you're having
an OCD reaction here. Who gives a rat's ass? Use
this mic? Ride it raw and then buy a new one,
(37:25):
which no, see, shouldn't be writing anything raw. That's a rule.
Don't write anything raw. So after all that happened, I
finally got the show underway, which is what you're listening
to right now. So Chicago, you know, I want to
talk a little bit bout Chicago. Awesome weekend. Okay, awesome weekend.
(37:47):
This weekend, Mark Burley Day yesterday, and I say yesterday
because i'm filming it today. I'm recording that filming. It's
not a movie, it's a recording. It's a podcast recording
on Sunday, and it'll probably hear next week. This podcast
probably will download it very soon. So that's why i'm
talking in uh, you know days here, I'm breaking all
(38:08):
the podcast rules. You're not supposed to tell you what
day it is or what time it is, but it
was Mark Burley Day at the Guaranteed Rate Field and
it was great. It was a great scene Mark there.
It was fun. I think that they did a great job.
I think Jerry RHYINSDRF and and everybody else you know,
(38:31):
presented it very well. It was really cute seeing his
little girl throughout the first pitch and seeing his son
seeing the national anthem. There were some great touches there.
It was funny to watch Hawk Harrelson and see the event.
You know, Hawk is one of my favorite favorite favorite
play by play announcers. I'm however, it was really funny
(38:52):
to watch him do that because sometimes I think Hulk's
I call him the Hulk. It's whole Carrolson, Hawk Harrelson,
Jesus Hawk here Elson. And sometimes his age kind of shows,
like you could tell that his age was showing a
little bit there. Like the part of that is like,
you know, he's impatient. He's like, let's go, you know,
(39:15):
He's like it's funny like he was you know the
crowd chain Burly. He's like, yeah, Burley Burly Burly. Okay,
well now it's like he was trying to rush through things.
Like I know he was not a time crunch, but
he could tell that it like it was part time crunch,
part I'm an old man, and uh, let's go. I
gotta drive all the way back to Indiana. Let's hurry
this up. Come on, all right, give me my check.
(39:38):
I want to go right burly burly burley. Okay, I
got it. Bye is the dinner time yet? It's noon.
I have four more hours of dinner. Come on, it's Sunday.
You know, I get my discount of my nerds. So
you know, I love the Hawk. But it was kind
of funny that he was like he was like, let's come,
(40:00):
let's go, let's go, let's go. Also, this weekend the
world's largest block party. There were so many food festivals
this weekend, it's crazy. And then course Pride Parade. Of
course the Pride Parade. And I want to touch base
on this just a little bit. I am mortified when
(40:25):
I see people produce hatred to the Pride Parade. So
you know, those types of things just irritate me. And
I won't go too much onto it, but you know,
if you know what I'm gonna say it, If you
(40:48):
want to spew hate towards it, and then just keep
your goddamn mouth closed. Okay, simple as that, Simple as that.
For that, you need to keep your mouth closed. Now,
if you're protesting anything else, go ahead and speak up.
I am a firm believer that I think you should
be able to share your opinion unless it's that, unless
(41:11):
you're gonna spew hatred, that you're not allowed to share
your pain. But you know, hey, protesting, do what you're
gonna do. Go out there, speak your mind. The one thing, though,
the one thing that I ask, and I ask, please
(41:33):
don't block traffic. Please please don't block traffic. I mean,
nine out of ten times I am for the cause
that you're protesting on. Okay, I would even say it
was ten out of ten. But you're really gonna piss
people off when you're blocking the expressway or the streets.
(41:55):
Come on, driving through downtown Chicago, trying to get home
after a ten and a half day to go see
your family is bad enough. Trying to go through roads
to get to the expressway, which you're gonna sit out
for two hours, and then you're gonna block Michigan Avenue,
and that's gonna make people kind of pissed. Okay, So,
like what happens is if I'm driving through that and
(42:16):
then your protest is like, we need to save all
the ducks and put them in a pond, the one
pond we'll call a duck pond. I'm all for it.
If you're not blocking the road, I'm like, yes, I agree,
I agree. Do not do not, you know, take those ducks.
Do not take those ducks and leave them there in
(42:38):
the in the crappy pond. Put them in the big pond,
the nice pond. But if you like, uh, block my traffic,
I'm like, I hope those fucking ducks die. Drawn them.
I don't give a shit. Eat them and drawn them.
I don't care. See how you know?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
And two, you're gonna have somebody that's not gonna care
one day and they're gonna drive right through you. And
then they're gonna go home. They're gonn kiss their wife,
pat their kids on the head. They're gonna have dinner
and wife's gonna go how is your day? He's like,
I killed four protesters it drove through, but other than that,
it was a great day. Okay, So please don't block
streets and know what don't damage things. I know you're mad,
(43:16):
but come on, please, you're blocking my roads and then
all I want is a caramel machiato and you fucking
damaged the Starbucks. Come on. No, what I'm trying to
say is, let's not be destructive. Let's just you know, protest,
(43:36):
go ahead and prote it. I agree you should protest.
You should, you know, be at rallies and stuff. Don't
block the road. Please, please don't block the road. Please, don't,
you know, take out my Starbucks please, you know, But
this is the thing. You know, I joke and everything,
but you are American. You have the right to, you know,
(44:05):
say what you want to say and speak up and everything. Well,
this is stupid. Like I said, if it's stupid, then
don't speak up. I mean, if you're gonna spew hatred,
don't speak up at all. Okay, all right, God, I
felt like I don't know what I was doing there.
I kind of went onto like a tangent. I apologize this.
(44:26):
This podcast is not about me going on tangents. I
don't know. It's a little scary, to be honest, and
I think this is all stemming from the community I'm
part of. I think it's because of that. So, like,
you know, we moved into this town in January and
(44:46):
we joined every social media Facebook community page, and there's
this one guy on this community page that constantly makes
me want to drive a nail in my eyeball. Just
pisses me off, constantly pisses me off, pisses me off.
(45:07):
So you know, I'm like, dude, enough, this lady just
simply put I don't like something, and he keeps asking,
questioning and just being a total asshole. Okay, total douchey.
It's almost like Guy Fieri's his best friend could be
(45:30):
for all I know. And what I mean by that,
it's like this lady there's something gonna be built and
she doesn't want to build, and he just keeps questioning
and blah blah blah and blah and blah. It was like,
do you have anything better else to do? Is there
anything else going on in your live that you know
you have you have to do? I mean, insteady, you're
(45:52):
just sitting here and just being a total jerk. So
I see it every day, every single day, and like
I'm getting tempted, like I want to comment. I want
to comment, but he's from my same town. So if
I'm like, hey, asshole, why don't you shut your mouth?
All right, I'm afraid that I'm gonna be at the
Jewel and I'm gonna see the asshole and it's gonna
(46:15):
be awkward, Like what do you what do you do
when you see the guy you just commented on his comment? Hey, Hey,
how's it going? How you doing? It's awkward you can't comment.
So and we're gonna do a segment coming up. It's
called the Comment Sections, and I'm gonna read some of
(46:37):
the comments, some of the funnier comments from uh Facebook posts,
and and also like products and things like that, and
and and those things, because it's very funny. People are
very very opinionated when they are, you know, behind a computer.
So yes, we're gonna have segments on the show, you know,
(47:00):
and I'm hoping to get an opening. And it's mother
glitz and glamour. Okay, it's not just gonna be like, uh,
you know, just be talking. We'll have some glitz and
glamber to the show. I promise I'll get.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
It for you, all right, geez, geez, you know we'll
get it. We'll get it next week.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
You're on the got the show's name. God, that's good.
That's good. That's a good sign. The Daily Life of
Frank podcasts. I'm gonna tell you a story why Mom's
rule and Mom's sweeping on the most crappiest of times.
Crappiest of times, you know, for instance, your daughter Pooh's
(47:49):
in a jewel without her pull ups on. Also, not
blowing off your finger. Okay, don't blow off your finger.
It's gonna be fourth of July. Another upcoming episode, episode three,
which will be coming up in a couple of weeks.
Me and my family are heading up to her family's
lake house in Long Beach, Indiana, So I'll be taping
(48:10):
the podcast from the car. So I'm sure you'll have
some fun because instead of having just one person talk,
I have my daughter and my son and my wife.
So it's going to be a very fun car ride.
I don't know, you may hear things that you can't unhear,
(48:31):
you know, because my little girl, like I said, she
has sass and be like, who's that girl in the background,
Why does she have attitude? She's a sweet girl. I joke.
I'm joking all day here. So before I go, though,
I want to kind of you know, one parenting story.
(48:55):
Once again, I'm not proud of these moments, but sometimes
I try to get out of the moments when I can.
And one of those moments was simply a changing moment,
and I kind of was an asshole about it because
my son, my son pood in his diaper, and of
(49:18):
course I had to poo on the floor, which that
has happened before. So he pood and my wife was
getting ready for work, and my mom comes and picks
up the kids and babysits them, and I'm like, I
just can't do it. I made this whole long excuse,
(49:39):
like I think I was like a laundry list of
of an excuse of why I couldn't change his diaper.
She's like, you change him once a year, and I'm like,
I know, but I can't. I can't because you know what, tunny,
if I changed him over here on the couch, he's
gonna have pool over the couch and we don't have
a changing table anymore, or because he's one, okay, if
(50:01):
I changed him over here on the table, I said,
you want me to change him? Because I'm gonna change
him on on the dining room table. You really don't
want that. So she changed him and then she looked
at me and said something that I haven't heard in
my entire life, and she goes, well, flush it down
the toilet. So I was confused because my direction was,
(50:23):
what do you mean he pooed in a diaper? We
take the diaper that he pooed in and we throw
it in the garbage in the garage. And she said,
I don't want the garage to smell like pooh. Dump
his pooh in the toilet bowl. And I said, once again,
(50:43):
I said, no, we have a garage. There's a garbage,
and it's gonna smell. But that's okay. It's like, no,
I don't want the garage to smell, I said to her.
I said, it's gonna smell like pat because he also pissed,
unless you, for some reason want me to, you know,
(51:05):
wring out his diaper or piss in the toilet bowl.
Because now I think we're all losing our minds. Anyway,
So how the story ends, you ask, I dumped his
poo in the toilet bowl. Okay, I dumped his poo
in the toilet bowl, and I threw that back at
that garbage that diaper out in the garage. So this
is my point and my moral of the story is men, guys,
(51:32):
dads just do things. Okay. I am not I am
not one, you know, I'm not like mister awesome person. Obviously,
I don't want to change my kids poo, we diaper,
or I don't want to do laundry or clean or anything.
(51:53):
We just got it. We gotta do things right. We
gotta do better or your wife's gonna make you dump
his shit into a toilet bowl. And that is thirty
times gross then changing him. And why I say that
is because when I went up that stairs, that flight
of stairs, with his poo in my hand and the
diaper and I put it in the bowl, I got
(52:14):
the backsplash of it in my face. So you know what,
if I would have just changed him, I probably could
have dumped that diaper anywhere it's dead. I made a
big deal and I got pooh splashed my face. Not
my finest moment. Okay, not my worst, because apparently my
son poohs bowling balls. All right, thank you for joining
(52:38):
me the Daily Life of Frank podcast. This has been
episode one. I promise it should get better. Okay, the
first one is a little like Hanky Danky Banky, which
is a whole new trim I just made up and
then it usually grows and is better. I would love
for you to connect with me. Email me the Daily
Life of frankpodcast at gmail dot com. On Facebook, it's
(53:01):
the Daily Life of Frank podcast, and on Instagram It's
the Daily Life of Frank podcast, and on Twitter it's
the Daily Life of Frank is Twitter, of course, you
only get to have a few characters whatever. Twitter. All right,
have a great week. I'll see you next week and
we'll have some fun. This is the Daily Life of
Frank Podcast, Episode one. Signing off, goodbye everybody.
This fall, things get weird, things get spooky, and things
get way more Frank. Daily Life of Frank Halloween Special
is back. Pumpkins, costumes, candy, chaos, you know the true,
(00:20):
But this year we're turning it up to eleven. And
if that's not enough to rattle your skeleton, Introducing a
brand new podcast series, The Entities of the Unknown, Real.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Stories, real chills, real weird. You'll laugh, you'll scream, you'll
probably question reality.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Also, Dad voicemail lines are coming. Leave your rants, your
dad jokes, your questionable advice. I might just play it
on the show or use it as evidence in therapy.
Plus new segments, surprise guests, giveaways, and much much more.
(01:09):
It's fall, baby, and The Daily Life of Frank is
coming in hot. So grab your hoodie, your pumpkin spice,
and your emotional baggage because this season we're doing it all.
Subscribe now, Tell a friend, Tell your weird uncle. The
(01:29):
Daily Life of Frank where fall gets freaky.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Hello and welcome. This is the debut Wife of Frank
podcast episode number one. It's the pilot episode. So happy
to be here, so happy to be part of the
Yak Channel, finally a podcasting channel. That is dedicated to
Chicago podcasters. I'm so so I cannot wait to give
(02:04):
you guys some cool shows. I can't I'm excited. Hopefully
you think they're cool and you listen and you know
you don't turn away. But if you don't like the podcast,
instead of just turning it away completely, I suggest you
take the podcast and share it with someone you don't like.
Maybe it's a boss, maybe it's an next girlfriend, and
(02:27):
be like, hey, you know we didn't work out, and yeah,
we've been fighting a lot, even though we're not together anymore.
But I have this podcast that I think you should
listen to. I think it's pretty cool on as your
former lover. I want you to listen to it. That's
how I imagine it goes. But I don't even know
if that's even going to get to that far. But
(02:48):
you know, just pass it along, pass it along to
someone you don't like. That's fine. I'm fine with it.
I'm fine. The podcast is about my opinions, yes, my opinions,
which sometimes don't matter, do they No? What the podcast
really is about is the podcast is me bringing you
(03:11):
each week a funny, average guy, relatable point of view.
I'm parenting, life, pop culture, sports, and everything else in between.
I'm a dad. I have a wife, my two kids.
One is Lilian. She's three years old. Lilian, my god,
Lillian is a thirteen year old trapped in a three
(03:33):
year old body. The girl has sas SaaS SaaS SaaS SaaS.
She's sassy, she has attitude, and god, it scares me already.
So I'm sure I will be talking more about my
beautiful little girl. And I have a son. He's named Leo,
one years old. One years old, handsome as handsome can be,
(03:58):
blue eyes, blond hair, and he uses his looks, his
looks to get out of trouble, to get out of everything,
to get out of being bad. He could break something
and he'd be like hmmm, and he passed those blue eyes,
and you're like, damn it. So that's my family, and
(04:21):
I'll be sharing more about them. I'll just send a
little bit here now. When it comes to Chicago, I
am born and raised on Chicago, born and raised in Chicago.
On Chicago. That sounds weird. I was born and raised
on Chicago. Like literally born and raised on Chicago. I
(04:42):
was born and raised in Chicago, grew up on the
southwest Side West Lawn Park shout out to the West
Lawn Park area played Midway Baseball. Mm hmmm, so oh yeah, yeah,
I was a a southwest Side boy Midway air Port.
He used to watch the airplanes with my dad. We
(05:05):
used to park and watch them, which we can't do
anymore for obvious reasons. If we if we were, if
this was back then, was today, uh me and my
dad would both be serving like twenty to life for
just today. Look at the airplanes. Wow, look at the
flight patterns up and down and around. They go, wow, Yeah,
(05:25):
that's not that's not gonna work. Uh and that will
not be that's not that's not good. So uh yeah
I have that and you know, just just normal kid
growing up in a crazy household. So I'm sure I'll
share that with you. And and also a lot more.
I want to get back to my family, uh my
two kids and my wife and kind of give them
(05:46):
a little bit of their like personality, a little bit
of what they what they bring, and they bring a
lot and a lot I mean, is uh some of
these cool qualities. For instance, my daughter Lilian, who I've
told you before has sass, who has sass? And no
cure in the world. She could also be the sweetest
(06:12):
girl too, So I don't want to like give her
like make her sound like, oh my god, he has
the second coming of Damien. Feel bad for him. You No,
she is. She's a cool kid. She's going to be
a UFC fighter, and I'm very excited for that. I'm
very excited that she'll become a UFC fighter one day.
The reason why I say this she's gonna become a
(06:32):
UFC fighter is because she does like to kick her
brother Leo in the face, so she does have that
going for you know, Hey, it's a little girl. She's three.
She was the queen of the castle, and all of
a sudden, this little dude comes along. Okay, and now
(06:52):
he's screwing with things because he's walking and he's grabbing things,
and he's grabbing toys and he's doing all these these
crazy things. And she gets mad. So instead of saying, hey,
mom and dad, Leo's taking me off, she decides to,
you know, kick him in the face. Now it's okay.
He was only knocked out once. We gave him smelling
salt and he was all better, So only one knockout
(07:14):
under a belt so I think her record is twenty
and oh and then only one one ko, so that's good.
And speaking of Leo, mister blue Eyes himself handsome as
handsome can be. He's going to be a lady killer
one day, which I don't really like that term because
(07:35):
it sounds like he's going to be a serial killer
that hunts women down. So I don't think that's the
term I really want to use. I think lady killer
is not not what I want to use. That doesn't
sound right. It's to be a lady killer, it's gonna
kill women. Yeah, So let's not use that word. Let's
a term. Let's let's just say he's a he's a
(07:57):
boy who knows how to play the game aim. And
what I mean with that is this kid he could
do no wrong. He could scream, he could break things,
he could kick the wall, it doesn't matter. He will
pat those blue eyes and he'll be like, damn it,
why are you so cute? So he knows how to
(08:20):
play the system. And two, you know, he has his
mom and he is definitely a mama's boy, so he
makes sure to rub make sure is to rub that
in my face. He does, He rubs it in my face.
He does when he cries and pouts and he runs
to Mama. When that really runs because he can't walk yet.
(08:42):
He just scoots and crawls. He crawls to Mama and
he picks her up and he just looks at me,
and I think for the extra like kick into my stomach.
He rubs his face in her boobs, so he's like, huh,
look what I have. You don't get these anymore. You're married. Jeez, God, sorry.
(09:08):
So yeah, so that's my life, and the captain of
the ship, of course, is my wife, Kate. Kate. I
swear to God, I can't do any anything. I I
can't ask for a better person. That's what I'm gonna
try to say. And that's what I'm trying to say.
It's what I am saying. What I'm trying to say. No,
(09:30):
I'm saying it. See and now I'm talking to myself
saying this out loud. And it's not because I'm a
good friend. I have schizophrenia. Okay, I have other issues,
and Michell'll be covering those with other episodes. But I'm
just you know, I'm so excited. It's like, you know,
like a kid on Christmas morning, you know, or a
fat kid on Thanksgiving Day. Now you get so excited.
(09:53):
That's how I am. So I keep screwing up my lines.
And you know what thing about a podcast is the
great thing about a podcast is it is how you
want to make it. If I want to sit here
and podcast and just you know, just drop the mic
like I can do that. I can do that, and
that edits it, because you know why, it's a podcast. Baby,
(10:16):
it could be as raw as raw can be. This
baby can be raw. I could ride this podcast raw. Okay,
that sounds sexual. I don't think I'm ever gonna use
that term again. I don't think you should ride anything raw? Right,
Am I right for saying something like that, because yeah,
(10:38):
I'm gonna ride this thing raw. Doesn't sound Yeah, that
sounds bad. That sounds very dirty. So make sure in
the future I never say ride that raw like you know,
I don't know, I go to the farmer's market with
the family I'm going. I could be like, I like
to ride that farmer's market raw. Yeah, ride and raw
(11:02):
should never be in the same sentence. I'm beginning, I'm
declaring that that no one should ever use the words
ride and raw. In any kind of sentence or statement
or anything. I declare that, so you can't use it.
But you know, back to my wife, and what a
(11:23):
transition of going to going from ride and raw to
my wife. It's a perfect transition. This is great already
talking about her boobs and then going in from ride
and raw to my wife. This is going to give
me Bronnie points. I'm gonna be Oh god, I'm gonna
be sleeping on that futon. But my backbone, my backbone
(11:47):
is my wife. She is who keeps me in line,
keeps me organized, puts up with all my shit. And
God only knows how much shit I give to her,
Oh my God, on a daily is the poor woman.
I'm surprised doesn't murder me. I really, I am really surprised.
I'm really surprised he doesn't try to kill me. And
(12:10):
I think the only reason why she doesn't try to
kill me is it would be a lot of work
and a lot of cleanup. I'm a fat guy, Okay,
I'm fat, I'm heavy, and by the time she, you know,
picks my body up and carries me somewhere and dumbs me,
it would just be too much work. That's why she's
(12:31):
probably not killing me. You know, I am a person
that suffers from anxiety depression. The big one is OCD.
So I have a lot of things going on, and
I think that when you have those things going on,
(12:52):
you don't realize that your anxiety, or your depression, or
even my OCD. I'll have a quick OCD story, and
I do apologize. I have this bad habit of it
starting the story and then finishing it at forty five
minutes later. I don't know what it is, so I
do apologize. If you're listening and you're like, God took
him forty five minutes to finish that goddamn story. I
(13:16):
don't have that time. My wife, not my wife, yes,
my wife. And see this other bad thing I have
is I own only thirty four, but I have the
worst short term memory. I don't know where I was
going with that, And now I try to look at
my notes, which looks like a doctor's handwriting, or my
(13:37):
three year old just wrote everything down, So I don't
even know where I was gonna go. What I'm trying
to say is having anxiety, having depression, having OCD, that
is very hard for your spouse or your loved ones.
Who don't have it but do have it. You know,
we all suffer from anxiety, we all get sad here
(13:58):
and there, and we all like to rearrange thanks. So
when you have it very bad and then you are
like a complete mess, you really need that backbone in
your life. So I'm very grateful to have Kate in
my life because she is that backbone, and she is
the the reason why I am able to go on
(14:25):
every day and to stay focused, you know, because I,
like I said, I give Kate a lot of shit.
I put Kate through a lot, you know, And I'm
so grateful because Kate is the person that you know,
tells me it's going to be okay, and also is
honest when when shit does hit the fan, She'll tell me, no,
(14:48):
we're fucked. So it's great, it's great. You know. She's like, ah,
you know, we're fucked, but why don't you take your
mind off and Rea arrange the dishes in the cabinet.
She doesn't say it like that. She's not just imagined
what she says. If she used my like OCD against me. Actually,
(15:12):
if I was married to somebody who had OCD, I'd
probably use it against them too. You know because I mean, right,
am I wrong? I mean like, look what if like,
you know, you you have this painting on the wall right,
and you're like, damn it, I've been looking at this
painting for an hour and I can't get it straight.
You know what, forget it. I'm just gonna leave it.
And you're like, hmm, wait a minute. You know, you
(15:34):
call your OCD spouse and hey, uh does this painting
look straight and like, hmm, it doesn't. I'm gonna make
it straight. And it takes him like thirty seven hours
to make it straight and it's finally straight. They don't
think it is, but it is. Uh so yeah. So
she puts up with a lot, and I love her
(15:54):
and I am so grateful to have her in my life.
I was saying before that I'm fat. Yes, Am I
happy that I'm fat? No, I'm not happy. What I
like to snap my fingers and become skinny. Yes, yes,
kind of kind of. And the only reason why I
would want to be skinny is because then when I
go to like the movies, or I go to like
(16:18):
the Old State Arena, or if I go on an airplane,
I could fit comfortably into a seat or a restaurant
in a booth. Don't get me started about why they
make those booths so small and why you know, why
they don't make them wide enough for a fat person
to sit in? There is beyond me craziness. Why why
(16:41):
wouldn't you do that? Getting mad? Getting mad? But you know,
fat people and skinny people or you know, sort of
skinny people are different, different mindsets, different different different reasons
why they have a bad day. And I had that
(17:02):
notion because of the day I had This morning. I
woke up and I was excited. I was pumped. This
podcast day number one, number one, I'm excited. Here we go,
podcast episode number one. I'm gonna go get myself a treat.
And the reason why I wanted to go went out
(17:22):
and got myself a treat for breakfast was because my
wife and kids are away and I'm gonna tell you
more about that coming up. So I had a treat.
I went to McDonald's and I was so excited. I
ordered the McDonald's order wrong. How do you order it wrong?
You ask, Well, when you order it like a smug asshole,
(17:44):
it's wrong. It's very simple. When you go to McDonald's,
you pull up to the window, and you say, I'll
have the number seven uh with a coffee, three creams,
three sugar, and uh throw in three apple pies and
then you know, go to the window and get your
(18:05):
apple pies and your breakfast. I didn't wear it like
that because I was mister happy, go lucky this morning.
I fucked everything up, which fucked my day up. Yes,
if you haven't guessed already, I like to swear. I
blame it on being Italian one hundred percent, so I
do have a tendency to say the F word a lot.
I apologize. So yeah, So I go there and I
(18:27):
instead of going the usual number six and three burritos.
I know it's embarrassing. I went there and said I
will have the sausage biscuit today with a cheese. She's like,
is there anything else? And I thought it was weird
because you didn't ask for my drink order. And I'm like,
first I'm like, I what a stupid idiot, And then
(18:49):
I'm like a coffee with cream and sugar and a sprite,
large sprite, please pull around like mister smug asshole today.
That's how I was. I pulled up, I paid, I
got my coffee, I got my sprite. I came home.
I was excited. I was going to eat the hash brown.
(19:10):
If I could eat it, I could eat a back
full of hash browns right now. Don't tempt me. I will.
I will do it. I swear to God I will.
So I had a hash brown, hoping to have a
hash brown, and I opened that bag and there was
no hash brown in there, no hash brown because I
ordered the order wrong. I didn't say a number seven.
(19:33):
I just said I wanted a sausage and biscuit with
egg and cheese. That's what I said. And I didn't
say that I wanted three creams or three sugars in
the coffee. No, I didn't. So I got one cream,
one sugar, one sandwich and a sprite. Now some of
you are at homegoing, Okay, that's uh should feed you, right,
(19:58):
that should be enough for you to eat and whatever. Whatever. Yeah,
you could laugh at me. No, it's not. I wanted
a damn hash brown. That's what I wanted, you know,
That's all I want it. And speaking of McDonald's, I
(20:18):
love McDonald's, but I really can't stand people that go
through McDonald's and just order uh the like one thing
when they go through and they're like, fucking McDonald's gonna
take your order and the person goes, I will have
a diet coke large. They're like anything else today, and
they're like no, and they pull around. I'm like, the
(20:40):
fuck's wrong with you? You're fucking McDonald's. You have fucking
French fries and cheeseburgers and and everything. They want to
you just want to coke a diet coke, And it's
what the fuck you want? Fucking go to seven to
eleven so and what the fuck? Why are you in
the lawn? Why are you in the line, you're holding
(21:03):
the lineup? Or are you health nuts out there? You
pull up for breakfast and they go can I take
your order? And you're like, I'll have a yogurt parfay,
just a black coffee small, thank you, And you're like, what,
go piss off or do something else? Just a parfay?
(21:25):
The funck? Why is that fucking parfa even on the menu.
Take it off. It seems like it's out of place,
you know, right, they would be like me, you know,
trying to be an athlete, Like you know, I'm five
foot six and I'm fat. If I'm like you know
(21:45):
you don't see me on the Bulls right, God would
that be awkward? Be like, God, who the fuck is that?
Jesus the bulls man. They can't draft anybody anymore. First
they're trading Jimmy Butler. Now they got this fat guy
on the team. What the hell is going on? What
is it even doing in the lineup? Get out of
here and cook. And the other thing, too, is three cookies.
(22:07):
What the hell is that? Get those off the menu. Okay,
let's keep it to the basic. Okay, fries, burgers, shakes, cokes, pies,
that's all we need. Parfes, go go screw off somewhere.
I think I'm getting a little bit of like fat jealous.
You know, I'm just thinking to myself. Now, Man, a
skinny dude, Lucky Bashard goes to McDonald or is a
(22:29):
parfe runs Tory thirty seven miles and you know he's
having a good day. I eat what I eat for
McDonald's breakfast, and then I can't move anymore and I
can't fit into my shorts. So yeah, but you know what,
being a fat guy, I gotta say something. But being
a fat guy, I do hold up pretty well. And
what I mean by that is I really. I do
(22:52):
credit my wife once again for this. I am pretty
good at dressing myself, making sure I'm clean, having cologne
and deodorant, and just making sure I look well. I
present well. I'm not some kind of you know, slob,
(23:14):
So I make sure you know I look good. And
nothing pisses the fat guy off more when there's another
fat guy who decides, you know what, screw it, I'm
gonna wear a T shirt and I'm going to wear
my sports shorts, the elastic ones because I had three
burritos last night and I can't fit into him. You
know what, people out there that are my size, you
(23:37):
could learn a lesson from me. Okay, Okay, I ate
a whole keel zone and not a tiny kel zone
that you get at a restaurant. I ate a kel
zone from Rossatti's. And if you don't know how big
a Rossotti keel zone is, my son is smaller than
a rosatti is kel zone and he is pretty tall
(23:59):
for his Okay, guess what the next day, I couldn't
fit into my shorts. Okay, but instead of putting my
elastic shorts on my summer shorts, my I'm not doing anything.
I'm gonna go cut the grass, even though I don't
cut the grass. They live in a town home. I
squeezed into my shorts. Yes, it took me half an hour,
(24:22):
but I did it. Kel Zones, you really shouldn't eat
kel zones on your own, and you shouldn't eat a
whole one, especially from Rosati's, because I'm not joking when
I tell you this guy, this kel zone is is
freaking humongous. It was like the biggest kel zone you've
ever seen in your entire life. They're so good, so
(24:43):
so so good, but all that cheese and stuff, Oh
my god. I was bloated for like three days. Seriously,
I had diarrhea and I was bloated for three days
because there's a lot of stuff going on. It's like
your system. I mean, because they make those kel zones
for two people, three people. I think it's a feeds
four and I meaning for one, you know, feeds forward
(25:04):
Christ's sakes, And I'm having the holding by myself. That's
gonna screw your system. My stomach's gonna go. My stomach's like,
what the what the fuck is going on? What are
you doing to ask? Guys? All right, everybody in testines.
We gotta work hard, and don't anus. Let's go. Come on,
let's go. Everybody. Everybody work all right, Anus rectum, No
(25:25):
need for you to be an asshole, right now, come on,
let's go. So yeah, but it was a delicious cal zone.
Granted I should never have eat it on my own.
It was good. It was good. It was good and delicious.
And yes, I will eat that kel zone again, I
(25:47):
I swear to God. So I was saying earlier, my
family is gone, my wife and kids, they're gone. And uh,
when you are a parent and your awesome wife takes
the kids up to visit her mom and dad and
for her dad's birthday and you're left alone and you
(26:09):
should really enjoy it, and it's like it's crazy nass, Okay,
like craziness. You know, you're thinking, oh my god, I'm
gonna sit around in my underwear all day, I'm going
to watch TV. I'm gonna watch sports. You know, maybe
I'll watch a movie on Cinemax after ten. Oh, it's
going to be fun. It's not fun. Let me tell
(26:31):
you why it's not fun, because once you take away
the craziness, it's not fun anymore. Okay, what I mean
by that is for those that are not married and
have kids. God bless you. I really wish I had
your life. I'm kidding you know. It's one of those
things where you you sit around right and it's it's crazy. Okay,
(26:57):
the kids are crying, the kids need to be chained,
kids need to eat. Okay, it's all going on. And
then you know, you gotta buy diapers, you gotta buy formula.
You know, your little girl's potty training, but she you
just pooed herself in a jewel, which we'll talk about
(27:18):
that on a future episode. And you're like, man, this
is crazy. And then like when your wife's like, I'm
gonna take the kids, We're gonna go and uh have
fun this weekend, and you're like yes, and you're planning
your weekend out. It doesn't happen like that. Next thing
you're doing is you're trying to find the crazy. So
like yesterday, I'm like doing laundry, I'm like putting shit away.
(27:40):
I'm organizing shit because my OCD, you know. So that's
how I spent my day. And then you know, on
top of it, I'm getting ready for this this podcast
and this is like the new and it proved, and oh,
I'm so excited. And just kind of a quick history
of myself. I started out in radio. Okay, No, I'm
(28:00):
not the radio you're thinking of, not like you know,
terrestrial radio. I wasn't on B ninety six, you know,
like imagine B ninety six. All right, more music coming
up next on B B ninety six. This is filthy Frank.
Why would my name be philthy Frank? I have no idea.
(28:20):
And anyway, if I was gonna listen to a top
forty radio station, or be on a top forty radio
station for that matter, I would go to one that's
number one, I'd be Kiss FM. Oh, I'm just kidding.
Don't get mad, and please, for God's sakes, do not
send me hate mail or anything like that, because I
just made fun of B ninety six. I love B
ninety six, okay. I love all types of music. I
(28:41):
love Kiss FM. I think Fred and Angie in the
Morning are hysterical, Okay. I love those guys. I love
country music. I love I love talk, I love WGN,
I love WBBMAM, I love everybody. I love all the
radio stations. Okay. But I'm just saying, you know, I
(29:01):
think Filthy Frank would be a perfect DJ name, and
he would have to be on a top station. That's
all I'm saying. Okay, you know, I don't know, you
never know, so yeah, So anyway, you know, I was
on US twenty nine, not on the air. I was
(29:22):
behind the scenes. I was promotions and I also did
board opping, which is I just pressed buttons when DJs
weren't there. So I did that, and it was it
was a fun time in my life. And and uh,
it's just at that point, I was still going through
school and you know, I needed something that was more stable,
(29:44):
I guess you should say on a job. It was.
It was a very low cost, little low paying position.
That's because it was an internship, and you know, it
is what it was. But I lived in the suburbs then,
and having to take a train to Chicago every day
(30:07):
and back, I couldn't afford it. So I left that.
I went to school for marketing, and I love marketing.
I think marketing is the greatest thing in the world,
and marketing is used in every company. So I was
really happy to be part of marketing and have my
(30:28):
degree in there. So I was still, you know, with
that radio itch. You know, I knew I wasn't going
to be Filthy Frank beat Andy six anymore. So I
had to find a different way that I can do,
you know, radio and podcasting, those sorts of things. Because I,
(30:48):
even though I was part of you know, I was
getting my career in marketing, I still wanted to be
part of radio and podcasting somehow. So, you know, I
did the hobby route, and I started off with an
internet radio show. And I've always loved radio. When I
(31:09):
was a kid, I used to do radio shows with
my brothers. We used to tape the mancasettes and then
from there we used to you know, I used to
do like fake show so to speak, like I would
sit there and be like, hey, this is Philthy Frank,
even though my name wasn't Philly Frank. I don't know
why I keep saying that, but I was doing you know,
(31:32):
fake shows as well and everything like that. So I
loved it. So I, you know, got onto internet radio.
Internet radio was just starting out. I developed a show
called The Frank Radio Show and it was on the
air for seven years. It was nothing big. We didn't
have fifty million people listening. We didn't and why I
(31:54):
say we is because I did the show with my
brother and then also my cousin and it was a
great time. Interviewed a lot of green people. Ginger Z
from Good Morning America she was on my show, interviewed
Duff Goldman from Ace of Cakes Food Network Guy, So
we never got a chance to interview Guy Fieri. But
then again, I have a no douchebag policy on my show,
(32:17):
so that's probably probably the reason why I didn't do that.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I don't know if
Guy Fiory is a douchebag. I know my mom would
be mad because I'm judging somebody on their apparents. But
I don't know anybody that has blonde, beach blind spiked
hair and and fist pumps everybody. I don't know. If I,
(32:41):
you know, search that I google the term douche she
may come up. I don't know. But if Guy Fear
anymore wants to be on the show and you know,
talk about food or bring me food, I'd be more
than happy to eat Guy. Eat with Guy. Now, eat
Guy sounds even dirty eer than the other things I
was talking about today. Okay, now now that this show
(33:02):
has finally hit the hole. Hit the hole, Jesus God.
So anyway, so you know that that was that I
grew up listening and just loving the Steve Doll show.
I tried to mimic my podcast and my radio show
(33:23):
and even this podcast off of Steve Doll. I think
that Steve is is such a legend and he has
a great way of presenting himself and the show, and God,
I just you know, I hope I could be as
good as Steve Dahl one day. I hope one day
(33:45):
Steve Dall. You know, I had one interesting moment with
Steve when I worked at the radio station. Steve was
on the air at one five to nine w CKG,
and we wrote an elevator together and I didn't say anything,
and I didn't realize it was Steve Doll to the end.
And thank god I didn't because I might have went
up and hugged him, which would have been very awkward,
but it would also give him some content for his show.
(34:07):
There was this fat kid, this fat kid in the
elevator and he hugged me. And I don't know why
I did that voice because it doesn't sound like Steve
Doll at all. So I have no idea what the
hell that was. So I apologized to everybody that I
you guys at home and everybody else for doing a
voice like that. So yeah, yeah, I did try to
(34:28):
bring the podcast back last May. It was called the
Average Guy Podcast and would have been the Adventures of
the Average Guy Podcast. What happened was it was May
and my son was born in June, and I'm sure
I'll cover this on a future episode. But my son
had to get surgery and everything kind of fell apart.
(34:51):
So that was, you know, that was kind of it.
I did try to bring up back in the end
of July and August, but I had a bad reaction
to medication and I suffered the most severe anxiety attacks
I've ever had my entire life. It included me not
(35:12):
being able to sit down. I didn't sleep for months,
and it was just bad and I was wrongly diagnosed.
So that is my zop story, which I'm sure I
will share on a future show. I promise. I promise
I will share it on a future future show maybe
(35:35):
who knows, who knows? Yeah, now I'm here, I'm doing
this podcast. I'm very excited, you know, very very happy
to be on this the YAC channel and the Chica
you know, Chicago networking podcasters. This is awesome. It's so cool.
It's so cool. I've had so many great opportunities. My
(35:57):
blog is on Chicago now dot com. It's the Adventure
of the Average Dad and I talk about my parenting
and all the funny things that happened. So it's just
it's just it's just been fun. And these are cool
obbies to have. Some of you like to collect stamps, Okay,
I like to do radio. I like to do podcasting.
That's who I am. Yes, so I'm excited. I'm excited
(36:20):
to be here. You know, I don't know if the
show was ever going to take off today. This is
the reason so well, I did kind of a run
this morning. I had. I felt good about the podcast,
and then when I looked at the audio, uh, the
audio didn't record. So this is actually take two and two.
I've been screwing around with this damn microphone, which I
(36:42):
bought off of Amazon for like three dollars. I know
it's my own fault, and it's just it picks up
like weird sounds. I know, like it's not like a
condenser mic And okay, I know all that stuff, but
it picks up like the mic and the connection don't
seem to be working very well. So like it's like
(37:05):
that's what it sounds like sometimes, and I'm like, damn it.
So I spent four hours trying to fix that, and
then I just said to myself, you are you're having
an OCD reaction here. Who gives a rat's ass? Use
this mic? Ride it raw and then buy a new one,
(37:25):
which no, see, shouldn't be writing anything raw. That's a rule.
Don't write anything raw. So after all that happened, I
finally got the show underway, which is what you're listening
to right now. So Chicago, you know, I want to
talk a little bit bout Chicago. Awesome weekend. Okay, awesome weekend.
(37:47):
This weekend, Mark Burley Day yesterday, and I say yesterday
because i'm filming it today. I'm recording that filming. It's
not a movie, it's a recording. It's a podcast recording
on Sunday, and it'll probably hear next week. This podcast
probably will download it very soon. So that's why i'm
talking in uh, you know days here, I'm breaking all
(38:08):
the podcast rules. You're not supposed to tell you what
day it is or what time it is, but it
was Mark Burley Day at the Guaranteed Rate Field and
it was great. It was a great scene Mark there.
It was fun. I think that they did a great job.
I think Jerry RHYINSDRF and and everybody else you know,
(38:31):
presented it very well. It was really cute seeing his
little girl throughout the first pitch and seeing his son
seeing the national anthem. There were some great touches there.
It was funny to watch Hawk Harrelson and see the event.
You know, Hawk is one of my favorite favorite favorite
play by play announcers. I'm however, it was really funny
(38:52):
to watch him do that because sometimes I think Hulk's
I call him the Hulk. It's whole Carrolson, Hawk Harrelson,
Jesus Hawk here Elson. And sometimes his age kind of shows,
like you could tell that his age was showing a
little bit there. Like the part of that is like,
you know, he's impatient. He's like, let's go, you know,
(39:15):
He's like it's funny like he was you know the
crowd chain Burly. He's like, yeah, Burley Burly Burly. Okay,
well now it's like he was trying to rush through things.
Like I know he was not a time crunch, but
he could tell that it like it was part time crunch,
part I'm an old man, and uh, let's go. I
gotta drive all the way back to Indiana. Let's hurry
this up. Come on, all right, give me my check.
(39:38):
I want to go right burly burly burley. Okay, I
got it. Bye is the dinner time yet? It's noon.
I have four more hours of dinner. Come on, it's Sunday.
You know, I get my discount of my nerds. So
you know, I love the Hawk. But it was kind
of funny that he was like he was like, let's come,
(40:00):
let's go, let's go, let's go. Also, this weekend the
world's largest block party. There were so many food festivals
this weekend, it's crazy. And then course Pride Parade. Of
course the Pride Parade. And I want to touch base
on this just a little bit. I am mortified when
(40:25):
I see people produce hatred to the Pride Parade. So
you know, those types of things just irritate me. And
I won't go too much onto it, but you know,
if you know what I'm gonna say it, If you
(40:48):
want to spew hate towards it, and then just keep
your goddamn mouth closed. Okay, simple as that, Simple as that.
For that, you need to keep your mouth closed. Now,
if you're protesting anything else, go ahead and speak up.
I am a firm believer that I think you should
be able to share your opinion unless it's that, unless
(41:11):
you're gonna spew hatred, that you're not allowed to share
your pain. But you know, hey, protesting, do what you're
gonna do. Go out there, speak your mind. The one thing, though,
the one thing that I ask, and I ask, please
(41:33):
don't block traffic. Please please don't block traffic. I mean,
nine out of ten times I am for the cause
that you're protesting on. Okay, I would even say it
was ten out of ten. But you're really gonna piss
people off when you're blocking the expressway or the streets.
(41:55):
Come on, driving through downtown Chicago, trying to get home
after a ten and a half day to go see
your family is bad enough. Trying to go through roads
to get to the expressway, which you're gonna sit out
for two hours, and then you're gonna block Michigan Avenue,
and that's gonna make people kind of pissed. Okay, So,
like what happens is if I'm driving through that and
(42:16):
then your protest is like, we need to save all
the ducks and put them in a pond, the one
pond we'll call a duck pond. I'm all for it.
If you're not blocking the road, I'm like, yes, I agree,
I agree. Do not do not, you know, take those ducks.
Do not take those ducks and leave them there in
(42:38):
the in the crappy pond. Put them in the big pond,
the nice pond. But if you like, uh, block my traffic,
I'm like, I hope those fucking ducks die. Drawn them.
I don't give a shit. Eat them and drawn them.
I don't care. See how you know?
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (42:55):
And two, you're gonna have somebody that's not gonna care
one day and they're gonna drive right through you. And
then they're gonna go home. They're gonn kiss their wife,
pat their kids on the head. They're gonna have dinner
and wife's gonna go how is your day? He's like,
I killed four protesters it drove through, but other than that,
it was a great day. Okay, So please don't block
streets and know what don't damage things. I know you're mad,
(43:16):
but come on, please, you're blocking my roads and then
all I want is a caramel machiato and you fucking
damaged the Starbucks. Come on. No, what I'm trying to
say is, let's not be destructive. Let's just you know, protest,
(43:36):
go ahead and prote it. I agree you should protest.
You should, you know, be at rallies and stuff. Don't
block the road. Please, please don't block the road. Please, don't,
you know, take out my Starbucks please, you know, But
this is the thing. You know, I joke and everything,
but you are American. You have the right to, you know,
(44:05):
say what you want to say and speak up and everything. Well,
this is stupid. Like I said, if it's stupid, then
don't speak up. I mean, if you're gonna spew hatred,
don't speak up at all. Okay, all right, God, I
felt like I don't know what I was doing there.
I kind of went onto like a tangent. I apologize this.
(44:26):
This podcast is not about me going on tangents. I
don't know. It's a little scary, to be honest, and
I think this is all stemming from the community I'm
part of. I think it's because of that. So, like,
you know, we moved into this town in January and
(44:46):
we joined every social media Facebook community page, and there's
this one guy on this community page that constantly makes
me want to drive a nail in my eyeball. Just
pisses me off, constantly pisses me off, pisses me off.
(45:07):
So you know, I'm like, dude, enough, this lady just
simply put I don't like something, and he keeps asking,
questioning and just being a total asshole. Okay, total douchey.
It's almost like Guy Fieri's his best friend could be
(45:30):
for all I know. And what I mean by that,
it's like this lady there's something gonna be built and
she doesn't want to build, and he just keeps questioning
and blah blah blah and blah and blah. It was like,
do you have anything better else to do? Is there
anything else going on in your live that you know
you have you have to do? I mean, insteady, you're
(45:52):
just sitting here and just being a total jerk. So
I see it every day, every single day, and like
I'm getting tempted, like I want to comment. I want
to comment, but he's from my same town. So if
I'm like, hey, asshole, why don't you shut your mouth?
All right, I'm afraid that I'm gonna be at the
Jewel and I'm gonna see the asshole and it's gonna
(46:15):
be awkward, Like what do you what do you do
when you see the guy you just commented on his comment? Hey, Hey,
how's it going? How you doing? It's awkward you can't comment.
So and we're gonna do a segment coming up. It's
called the Comment Sections, and I'm gonna read some of
(46:37):
the comments, some of the funnier comments from uh Facebook posts,
and and also like products and things like that, and
and and those things, because it's very funny. People are
very very opinionated when they are, you know, behind a computer.
So yes, we're gonna have segments on the show, you know,
(47:00):
and I'm hoping to get an opening. And it's mother
glitz and glamour. Okay, it's not just gonna be like, uh,
you know, just be talking. We'll have some glitz and
glamber to the show. I promise I'll get.
Speaker 4 (47:12):
It for you, all right, geez, geez, you know we'll
get it. We'll get it next week.
Speaker 3 (47:24):
You're on the got the show's name. God, that's good.
That's good. That's a good sign. The Daily Life of
Frank podcasts. I'm gonna tell you a story why Mom's
rule and Mom's sweeping on the most crappiest of times.
Crappiest of times, you know, for instance, your daughter Pooh's
(47:49):
in a jewel without her pull ups on. Also, not
blowing off your finger. Okay, don't blow off your finger.
It's gonna be fourth of July. Another upcoming episode, episode three,
which will be coming up in a couple of weeks.
Me and my family are heading up to her family's
lake house in Long Beach, Indiana, So I'll be taping
(48:10):
the podcast from the car. So I'm sure you'll have
some fun because instead of having just one person talk,
I have my daughter and my son and my wife.
So it's going to be a very fun car ride.
I don't know, you may hear things that you can't unhear,
(48:31):
you know, because my little girl, like I said, she
has sass and be like, who's that girl in the background,
Why does she have attitude? She's a sweet girl. I joke.
I'm joking all day here. So before I go, though,
I want to kind of you know, one parenting story.
(48:55):
Once again, I'm not proud of these moments, but sometimes
I try to get out of the moments when I can.
And one of those moments was simply a changing moment,
and I kind of was an asshole about it because
my son, my son pood in his diaper, and of
(49:18):
course I had to poo on the floor, which that
has happened before. So he pood and my wife was
getting ready for work, and my mom comes and picks
up the kids and babysits them, and I'm like, I
just can't do it. I made this whole long excuse,
(49:39):
like I think I was like a laundry list of
of an excuse of why I couldn't change his diaper.
She's like, you change him once a year, and I'm like,
I know, but I can't. I can't because you know what, tunny,
if I changed him over here on the couch, he's
gonna have pool over the couch and we don't have
a changing table anymore, or because he's one, okay, if
(50:01):
I changed him over here on the table, I said,
you want me to change him? Because I'm gonna change
him on on the dining room table. You really don't
want that. So she changed him and then she looked
at me and said something that I haven't heard in
my entire life, and she goes, well, flush it down
the toilet. So I was confused because my direction was,
(50:23):
what do you mean he pooed in a diaper? We
take the diaper that he pooed in and we throw
it in the garbage in the garage. And she said,
I don't want the garage to smell like pooh. Dump
his pooh in the toilet bowl. And I said, once again,
(50:43):
I said, no, we have a garage. There's a garbage,
and it's gonna smell. But that's okay. It's like, no,
I don't want the garage to smell, I said to her.
I said, it's gonna smell like pat because he also pissed,
unless you, for some reason want me to, you know,
(51:05):
wring out his diaper or piss in the toilet bowl.
Because now I think we're all losing our minds. Anyway,
So how the story ends, you ask, I dumped his
poo in the toilet bowl. Okay, I dumped his poo
in the toilet bowl, and I threw that back at
that garbage that diaper out in the garage. So this
is my point and my moral of the story is men, guys,
(51:32):
dads just do things. Okay. I am not I am
not one, you know, I'm not like mister awesome person. Obviously,
I don't want to change my kids poo, we diaper,
or I don't want to do laundry or clean or anything.
(51:53):
We just got it. We gotta do things right. We
gotta do better or your wife's gonna make you dump
his shit into a toilet bowl. And that is thirty
times gross then changing him. And why I say that
is because when I went up that stairs, that flight
of stairs, with his poo in my hand and the
diaper and I put it in the bowl, I got
(52:14):
the backsplash of it in my face. So you know what,
if I would have just changed him, I probably could
have dumped that diaper anywhere it's dead. I made a
big deal and I got pooh splashed my face. Not
my finest moment. Okay, not my worst, because apparently my
son poohs bowling balls. All right, thank you for joining
(52:38):
me the Daily Life of Frank podcast. This has been
episode one. I promise it should get better. Okay, the
first one is a little like Hanky Danky Banky, which
is a whole new trim I just made up and
then it usually grows and is better. I would love
for you to connect with me. Email me the Daily
Life of frankpodcast at gmail dot com. On Facebook, it's
(53:01):
the Daily Life of Frank podcast, and on Instagram It's
the Daily Life of Frank podcast, and on Twitter it's
the Daily Life of Frank is Twitter, of course, you
only get to have a few characters whatever. Twitter. All right,
have a great week. I'll see you next week and
we'll have some fun. This is the Daily Life of
Frank Podcast, Episode one. Signing off, goodbye everybody.
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