Happy Father’s Day and Happy Juneteenth tomorrow for all who celebrate. I continue the discussion of the Repressed Warrior Paradox by explaining the key principles and steps in terms of self-care and mindset that activists, entrepreneurs, and other unlikely high performers need to follow if they are experiencing the puzzling combination of being fought as the biggest threat ever while being ridículed for their weakness and called things like whiny or lazy, and feeling defeated, kicked when you’re down. There is hope, if you choose to train and embrace your inner warrior the right way. Listen to the prior episode to know who these ideas are most important for.
But briefly, the Repressed Warrior Paradox is where those with strong potential are held down and being fought back against out of proportion with what they expect, and they don't realize that is because of their extremely strong potential to create both social change and personal victory. Because they don't see their own potential, they will back down or be blindsided and are prepared to be the kind of fighter they need to be, and are on the inside, to ultimately achieve their potential for unexpected victory.
Full episode notes available at Fixerpunk.com soon after posting.
Contact Off Speed Solutions for support with your advocacy or business goals with communications strategy and implementation, including social media, content marketing, digital and traditional media, websites, and cultural analysis, and a variety of other communications and business support services! OffSpeedSolutions.com
Got questions or comments about this episode? Is there another political or social issue you’d like me to cover? Are you realizing you are a repressed warrior seeing how opposition indicates you have more potential than you think and want to tell your story? Have you faced oppression, have a story about bad bosses, a corrupt company, or another injustice you want to vent or spread the word about? I’d love to hear from you! Call in and leave a voicemail any time, day or night, toll free at 844-477-PUNK (7865)
Or submit your question by email:
greyson@offspeedsolutions.com
If you suspect any medical or mental health concern, please promptly consult a qualified physician.
This content is for entertainment and general informational purposes only. We do not warrant or guarantee the accuracy of the information herein. The viewer should not rely solely upon such and consult a competent professional before deciding to follow any course of action.
But briefly, the Repressed Warrior Paradox is where those with strong potential are held down and being fought back against out of proportion with what they expect, and they don't realize that is because of their extremely strong potential to create both social change and personal victory. Because they don't see their own potential, they will back down or be blindsided and are prepared to be the kind of fighter they need to be, and are on the inside, to ultimately achieve their potential for unexpected victory.
Full episode notes available at Fixerpunk.com soon after posting.
Contact Off Speed Solutions for support with your advocacy or business goals with communications strategy and implementation, including social media, content marketing, digital and traditional media, websites, and cultural analysis, and a variety of other communications and business support services! OffSpeedSolutions.com
Got questions or comments about this episode? Is there another political or social issue you’d like me to cover? Are you realizing you are a repressed warrior seeing how opposition indicates you have more potential than you think and want to tell your story? Have you faced oppression, have a story about bad bosses, a corrupt company, or another injustice you want to vent or spread the word about? I’d love to hear from you! Call in and leave a voicemail any time, day or night, toll free at 844-477-PUNK (7865)
Or submit your question by email:
greyson@offspeedsolutions.com
If you suspect any medical or mental health concern, please promptly consult a qualified physician.
This content is for entertainment and general informational purposes only. We do not warrant or guarantee the accuracy of the information herein. The viewer should not rely solely upon such and consult a competent professional before deciding to follow any course of action.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
This is the Fixer Punk podcast,the podcast that isn't hiring a fitness and
nutrition coach for this summer's physique becausewe know that we're going to need the
money to pay our student loans comeSeptember. I'm Grayson Peltier. So this
is the second part of the episodethat I did last week discussing the repressed
(00:26):
warrior paradox. This is where I'mgoing into some more practical steps as to
what to do if you fit intothat typology that I explained on last week's
episode. And it's pretty important becauseyou don't want to whether you're an activist,
whether you're somebody with some sort ofunique characteristics has somewhat of a different
way of going about life, andyou want to get the best performance out
(00:50):
of yourself. You want to getthe best outcome as an advocate, if
you want to get the best outcomein terms of campaigning, or if you
just want to have your business andcareer succeed while having that sort of difference
about you, whatever that may bethat other people are both ridiculing you for
(01:11):
at the same time but also viewingyou as the biggest threat in the world
for then you're going to want totake action and not go into a fight
blind and untrained and not even knowingthat you were in such a fight.
So go back to last week's episodeif you have not listened to it already.
(01:34):
But to put things simply, therepressed warrior paradox is basically where those
with strong potential are held down andbeing fought back against out of proportion with
what you'd expect, and you don'trealize that it's because of your extremely strong
potential to create both social change andpersonal victory. And people who experience this,
(01:56):
in many cases myself, because theydon't see their own potential. You'll
back down, or you'll be blindsidedand not be prepared. And this actually
means this is a good thing,even though what the main characteristic of this
is is getting beaten when you're alreadydown. So if you are in a
(02:21):
situation where either you as an individualor as part of a group, you're
realizing that people are basically kicking youwhen you're down, when your ideas seem
to show that you are in theworst place possible. You are dealing with
some sort of oppression on a systemiclevel. You're maybe working through a personal
challenge like some sort of disability,maybe you're dealing with a economic injustice,
(02:46):
and especially anything related to economic injustice. If you're advocating for change, for
better conditions in the workplace, forbetter social welfare policies, especially for better
policies around abilities for reparations for peopleof color, and those are just a
(03:06):
few examples LGBTQ community as well,it is more likely than not that you're
going to experience this repressed warrior paradoxwhere you know that you have strong potential,
you also at the same time arebeing told that you're weak, lazy,
(03:27):
and a whiner by others. Meanwhile, others are fighting you and fighting
against your ideas and the change thatyou're going for as being the worst threat
in the entire world. And it'sthe actions of those who are oppressed to
see political or economic power is what'sgoing to get you to get that kind
of response that both that teasing responseand also that response of your the biggest
(03:52):
threat in the world, for example, like Black Lives Matter is seeing by
some conservatives as both being weak crybabies and also the greatest threat to America
of all time. And that contradictionis basically in a way it can get
you to internalize repressive ideas. Sothe performance steps that I'm explaining today are
(04:15):
going to be super important because youneed to be in a good position.
Even if you're being seen as excessivelysensitive and you're dealing with this paradox,
you need to be strong enough toactually overcome that, and you don't want
(04:36):
to internalize it because internalizing repressive ideaswill result in you losing your ability to
create change and destroying your personal potentialas well. If you take into account
the way they're telling you you're weaking, you're lazing, you're also seeing this
immense amount of force going against youthat anytime you go and you try to
(04:57):
advocate for something, you try toask for something more work, you try
to go to a city council meetingor whatever, you are being beaten down
very easily. And then you're alsobeing told that you're weak and you're lazy
for holding these ideas, and thatyou're less than for fighting for change and
equality. That combination can get intoyou and make you believe that what you're
doing is just not worthwhile, andit can cause you to basically be defeated.
(05:21):
So these steps are going to bevery critical both for yourself personally and
also for your advocacy work if you'redoing that. But even if you're just
a person who's going about and you'rerealizing, why the heck when I ask
for something that's like the bare minimumof human dignity, I'm getting fought back
(05:42):
against with the force of a mactruck. This is something that you need to
think about. You need to thinkabout taking some steps to make sure that
you're prepared. And the first thingthat I want to explain is that you
may not be able to rely onthe normal systems that are that exist in
(06:04):
society. So you will likely haveto be more prepared and stronger than normal,
even as people perceive as weaker orespecially when you are in need.
And this is the really sad part, is that because our society is basically
built to serve people under a certainstereotype, whether we're talking racial, gender,
(06:26):
socioeconomic stereotype, ability, these systemsthat are in place, the very
limited systems that we have to tryto help people, the systems that we
have for people to try to growand advance to become better people, to
improve their education, their income,even the healthcare system, those things may
not be designed for people that arecoming from an oppressed background, and especially
(06:50):
they're not going to like I likeis kind of a funny word, but
I can't think of a better wordfor it. Somebody who is coming from
an oppressed minority type background, orfrom a background that is otherwise socially ostracized,
who has strong potential, who isstrong willed, and who has the
(07:11):
potential to succeed, They're especially notgoing to like that. Again, you
walk into the welfare system with awith a great degree and great education,
with a good amount of with agood amount of fessional experience, but you
lost your job, you may besent back into a low wage job as
(07:32):
a janitor. Like I explained thelast episode, the systems are not necessarily
going to be there to help tohelp you the same way they would have
the people. That's not a reasonnot to advocate, obviously. One of
the key messages of this is thatyou need to advocate for better systems that
(07:54):
can support all people to reach theirfull potential. But systems are maybe not
going to be there for you.From a policy perspective, social safety nets
are designed with a quote unquote averageperson in mind, and with other interests
in mind as well, largely justconformity in capitalism, sometimes real estate,
(08:15):
community nuisance nimby stuff as well,because it's basically a matter like I was
explaining in the Homelessness episode, ofjust getting people that are a nuisance to
the predominant community out of the way. So those systems may not support you
to become the person that you wantto be. So you want to put
(08:37):
yourself in a good position financially,physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually where
you can be strong enough to fendfor yourself, not out of some sort
of toxic self reliance, but outof your ability to perform. So you
want to make sure that you've developedthat. But it may be difficult for
you to develop that. You maynot be the steotype of the person who
(09:01):
is high performance. You may notbe the typical white male, rich tech
bro who is doing their Huberman Labssuper optimization protocols every single day, But
you still have to be able toadopt good high performance practices. Even if
you're sort of the opposite of aperson who would be seen as needing like
high performance practices or lifestyle or thingslike that, you still have to do
(09:28):
both the care for yourself and thenalso preparing yourself to be strong enough to
deal with the opposition that you're goingto face in the world just because people
see you as different, and thatespecially applies to the workplace. Economically,
you're probably gonna have to find yourown way to an extent, the workplace
in many ways is more about abusingpeople to give bosses a rise than it
(09:52):
is actual productivity. So when itcomes to your financial situation, you are
definitely going to want to have moreof a of a self reliant financial position
than normal. The way you achievethis may be a bit different, but
you definitely want to put yourself ina good position financially, have a good
amount of savings, have a goodbackup plan for if anything goes wrong,
(10:18):
really, whether that's that's all thestuff around, like debt. Sometimes good
idea to carry debt instead of payit off. It's going to deplete your
savings too much. I'm not goingto go too much into the nuances of
that, but you want to beat a good position position economically as best
as you can get yourself to thepoint where you're not going to be basically
having to constantly rely on bosses.Again, probably pretty hard if people don't
(10:41):
like you and you're having trouble inthe workplace already. But if you get
to that point, then you'll youthen you want to be in that way.
You want to be secure like that, and you want to also obviously
consider entrepreneurship, consider things like thatthat will get you to that financial goal.
But one thing that you will haveto kind of keep in mind is
(11:03):
that you're not going to have thatsame linear progression. Things are going to
come about a lot differently for youif you're if you're dealing with this kind
of typology, you won't be ableto work yourself up the ranks. You'll
have to basically leap. That's whystuff like entrepreneurship becomes relevant is because you're
not working your way up from associatestooge to chief stooge, to manager to
(11:31):
EVP to to the C suite.It's not going to happen like that.
It's it's it's going to be it'sgoing to be a bit more of an
interesting ride. And you may evenwhen you're in like a typical system,
typical workplace system, and this isvery sad, but you may even get
ridiculed by comparison. This is somethingthat I see commonly with people with disabilities,
(11:54):
where somebody will say, oh,yeah, I've seen somebody with a
worst disability who has done great withthe convention system and they they're working eighty
hours a week and they're doing allgreat, and they have the same exact
disability as you do. Well.No, that they don't have the same
exact thing. Each person is individual. We understand that we're talking about some
(12:16):
sort of like high end executive orathlete or some other type of high performer,
that their practices are gonna be alittle bit different. They're gonna be
a little quirky, They're gonna bea little weird in the things that they
do. Maybe you're not the personwho gives yourself an ice bath every day.
Maybe you're not the person who hassome wacky superstition about the meal they
eat before a game. Maybe thingswill be a little different, that each
(12:39):
person's gonna be a little different.But the ridicule does oftentimes come in that
form. Is like, for example, on my TikTok at fixer Punk,
there was a video I posted along time ago that keeps getting randomly bumped
up. The algorithm and people keeprandomly commenting on it it's about this girl,
(13:00):
or actually I think it's I thinkI think they're non binaries, so
I'm going to use them. I'mnot one hundred percent sure. I don't
want to misgender, so I sincerelyapologize that person if I am in fact
mis gendering them. But they aregained a good amount of audience on social
(13:22):
media, but they were still livingin their mom's house, and there was
sort of a it sort of becamelike this sort of generational warfare type debate
between like the mom and all thesepeople kind of on social media going in
favor of the mom, against againstthe against against her. Her child aged
(13:46):
roughly aged twenty allegedly who was dealingwith some mental illness and wasn't getting the
support at home that they needed aroundtheir gender identity, wasn't getting the help
they need around their mental health situation, which was serious and they allege to
(14:07):
be disabling. But they're showing potentialin terms of getting audience online and seeking
support from people online to try tofind a better living situation than their mom's
house. And that resulted in abunch of people criticizing this person on social
media extensively, and I keep gettingthese comments of like, well I have
(14:28):
my son has schizophrenia and and canwork as a plumber is making eighty thousand
dollars a year. Well, II have a broken back, a broken
neck, and I'm wheelchair bound,and yet I go to work every single
day without a problem. Yeah,obviously it's good. This podcast is not
(14:48):
going to tell you to be extremelylazy. In fact, one of the
key principles that I do want tobring up is that is that you can't.
Even though you will be a lotmore unique than others, you don't
want to give up on things.You don't want to let their imputation of
(15:11):
weakness towards you become a self fulfillingprophecy. And you have to know that
because of the situation you're in,where you're seen is a little bit different.
Nothing less than peak performance may workfor you. You may have to
be stricter, you may have tobe less strict. The key thing is
to find what works for you.You probably can't get away in some ways
(15:33):
with things the way normal people can. Either. There is a quote from
that I don't know who the originalsources. I just know that a wrestler
named ec three brought it up atone point. I don't recommend the majority
of his work, but I didwant to sort of reflect on this quote
of this is a ruthless world andyou must be ruthless to cope with it,
(15:56):
And is that the way it shouldbe? Absolutely not, No,
but you have to have a significantamount I don't know if a hundred percent
degree with that precept, but youdo have to have a significant amount of
strength, and especially if you're goingto be seen or viewed as different and
(16:18):
maybe not supported as much by othersaround you because you are in a category
that is that is facing some sortof oppression from society. And in that
video, referring to this person thatwas getting kicked out into their mom's house,
I said, they need to finda better place for themselves where they
(16:40):
can perform and be at their best. And that is sort of how the
first step of this is finding theright environment and knowing what works for you
and sticking with it along with embracingit. I did mention this on the
last episode, but you need toembrace the fact that you are. In
(17:00):
fact, the fact that things aregetting harder for you means that you have
a lot of potential and know that'swho you are. And just knowing that
and knowing that the potential is realcan stop you from getting super hopeless.
And basically, I want you tostop fighting yourself with the negative ideas that
(17:21):
others are putting onto Like in theexample of this this person, what the
mom says about how bad of aperson the kid is. Take those ideas
out. If you're a person ofcolor, you've heard all these ideas about
how about how people of color arecommitting all the crimes. You hear all
these negative ideas in society. Don'tinternalize that. Don't take that to heart
(17:48):
too much. And you have toreally, if you're in a situation where
you're already being seen as sort ofdifferent in society and you're in this type
of situation, what you have todo, and this is way more important
than it is for an average personsto become who you've dreamed of being.
And if you don't, it willblow up inside of you in a way.
(18:11):
It will blow up inside of youif you don't become or at least
you're taking steps to become the personyou dreamed of being. Again, you're
not going to climb up the ladder. Normally you have to leap up it,
ignoring your problems and just kind ofgiving up and sometimes even just feeling
better about a failure. Yes,you want to feel better, move on
(18:33):
from things you've done wrong or orthe fact that you've made as much progress.
Sometimes that just makes it worse.Becoming weaker makes it worse and you
but you want to accommodate and carefor yourself. But don't succumb to the
weakness. Don't succumb to the weaknessbecause that's a perception that's being put on
you. To an extent, youdon't want to let their imputation of weakness
become a self fulfilling prophecy. Andthen how do you do that? How
(18:56):
do you prevent their weakness from becominga self fulfilling office. So you do
that by focusing on key practices andknowledge. First off, the knowledge that
you create within yourself, your ownnative knowledge of how you work, how
you perform. Being in a goodenvironment for that, the environment that allows
you to be you is key.Not trying to make something, make you
(19:21):
into something you aren't. But itis hard to get the right resources to
perform, to perform well with aunique personality. When you're in an oppressed
situation, investing yourself when you can, obviously the basics, care for your
physical and mental health, be trainedup for high stress, and know when
to back out of something when somethingis just too hard for you at the
(19:45):
time and you need to and youneed to prepare yourself for it, or
if you need to find a differentenvironment, know when to back out of
those things like going back to thatmom situation. Know when maybe you need
to find another place to live andthat's just not the right battle for you
to be picking. Getting beaten upbefore you get up creates a death spiral,
(20:10):
and victory, not submission, isthe only remedy. You need to
find a way that you can getup and say I earned it and know
that you are, in fact,actually as strong as you are. So
just basically laying down and getting pinnedby whatever problem it is, whatever form
of oppression, whatever form of ofproblem or prejudice that you're that you're facing,
(20:37):
is not the solution. It's notit's not going to help you in
the long term. There's definitely andI one percent believe that there. You
have to find ways to rest likea lot of people like you'll find like
elite athletes. I read some articleabout NBA players who randomly napped during the
day, and sometimes even the coachesmaybe don't like it, they accept it.
(21:02):
They are getting practices for you thatare going to be like that,
a bit unusual. The things thatyou need to do to rest, but
that will get you, help youget to the to the next level.
Allow yourself to time to recover,care for your physical and mental health,
and do it in the right waythat works for you. Again, this
is going to be more difficult becauseyou're not going to have the same kind
(21:22):
of resources as someone who's more successful, someone who's commonly consciously seen as strong.
Those types of people maybe have gottenmore success in society, but you
do have to know that you arein that category. But avoid the excessive
(21:45):
judgmental rhetoric. As you try towork to build yourself up, you avoid
that excessive judgmental rhetoric, but youdon't avoid all difficult things. So this
is a this is a common thingthat sometimes you'll fall into because when you
have this internalizing you of oh mygod, I'm so much weaker, so
much less than everybody else, Andthat's all I'm hearing and all I'm seeing
(22:08):
is that I've been defeated a trilliontimes. Then you want to stay away
from people that are excessively judgmental,Like if you're looking for help or coaching
or whatever or self help resources,you want to avoid excessively judgmental rhetoric like
the way that the mom was justkind of being demeaning even though maybe it
(22:29):
was just out of frustration to thisperson, to the child that was that's
that's gonna feel judgmental. That's notnecessarily the kind of coaching that you need.
But you don't avoid all difficult things. You want to take control of
your own development. So in someways they want you to, especially if
(22:52):
you're dealing with politically judgmental people orpeople that are that are judging a certain
social and racial group. They wantthat group able to stay weak and basically
easy to beat up. And systems. Like I said before, systems may
not help you in the way thatthey may help somebody else. And again
this is sadness is because of theway that we've constructed as our society under
(23:17):
capitalism. There are people that aregetting oppressed. There's prejudice and things like
that. Even prejudice that we don'teven know existed, like like against you.
Sometimes within your own family, peoplewill be prejudiced against members of their
own family who maybe if you havea mixed race family, maybe if somebody
in the family, especially somebody akid with a disability that maybe has really
(23:37):
good potential, that that kid isgoing to get a lot of a lot
of flack in some cases. Butyou want to take control of your own
development and do it in your ownway, so you don't have to rely
on outside forces pushing you to dowhat you want to do. And when
whatever you're doing, you want tofoo focus on results and what you specifically
(24:02):
uniquely want. So whatever your goalyour dream is, you want to focus
on that and developing the correct behaviorsand practices and principles to achieve that,
not on behavioral compliance. Remember thatyour nature is probably to fight back against
behavioral control, although some people dobetter with stricter rules, so you have
to find what works best for you, and you can burn out far more
(24:25):
easily as well, especially if you'redealing with some sort of chronic stress,
chronic trauma, So you may notbe the person who's constantly working even though
you hear all the people online saying, well, the solution to all of
your problems is to work an eightyhour work week and you can pay off
your debt and be strong just likeme and be rich like me. That
(24:45):
may not be the case for youwhen it doesn't have to be the case,
So you have to find an environmenteven though it's hard to they'll allow
you to use your values, useyour value and not hurt you. You
may not be able to go intothe whole constantly working type situation. You
may not be working an eighty houra week, even though people want you
(25:07):
to do that in order to dowell financially, and you do want to
be You do want to be emotionallyvulnerable and kind, but don't let yourself
get knocked down. That's the mainchallenge here because in some ways, the
way that you open up to peopleand the way that you relate to people
(25:30):
and the community that you build withothers in a similar situation can be your
key to becoming successful. Is thekindness and the empathy. Because you've been
through a lot, you have theopportunity to be kinder to other people,
be nicer to other people, andpeople like to do business with people they
like so once you So if you'relike that, if you're building yourself up,
(25:56):
but you're also being good to others, that can help you get more
places. I know that sometimes inlike the business world, empathy and stuff
like that in the conventional world isnot valued as much, but there are
certainly people with humanity who really valuethat and that could become a niche market
for you in terms of in termsof the business world. But preparate.
(26:22):
But the next step is really preparation. You have to you do have to
work a lot harder in some insome cases because you have strengthen capabilities that
you don't know that you have.So you have to work harder to discover
those things. Sometimes maybe you knowit, um, maybe you don't,
(26:44):
but you have to be. Butyou have to be prepared with those things
tom to share them because maybe maybepeople will see it in you, but
maybe people won't don't see it inyou right away. So if you have
to choot your own horn, um, then then do so. And it's
(27:07):
going to take some time to getto a point you feel that comfortable,
but hey, it will be worthit. And now what you wait when
you're seeing this and obviously is you'reworking hard through these things, it doesn't
make like the trauma of everything you'vebeen through go away. So you have
(27:30):
to be You have to be ableto get the right support, you have
to um, you have to beable to get when you when you feel
like there's something going on with you. There are very few hard and fast
rules that I applied to just aboutevery situation on this podcast, but one
(27:53):
of those I apply to most situationsis that when something feels wrong, you
need to take action to determ andwhat it is and take action on that
as quickly as possible. Don't letthings linger for too long. So you
do want to be more diligent,and especially if you think you're going to
mess up in some way, bemore diligent and more careful than usual.
(28:14):
Don't let it overwhelm you. Butyou do want to root out those things
that could go wrong ahead of time, rather than letting them fester. And
that's especially true when it comes tohealth and your mental health. Get the
right mental health care, you needto consider a performance model, if possible,
(28:37):
a provider that is going to focuson things where you're improving your mental
performance rather than just sedating or takingaway symptoms, because what does it really
matter If your anxiety is gone,if you're still not achieving your goals,
(28:59):
if you're not helping people, ifyou're not serving, if you're not able
to serve your community, well,you're not able to overcome oppression for yourself
or your community and your family.You're not able to create the kind of
change you envision, the big goalthat you set for yourself. Initially,
you're not becoming the person you wantto be. It's still going to burn
up inside of you. Even ifyour anxiety is gone, even if it's
(29:22):
repressed, if it's if your depressionis somehow being masked or covered up,
it's still going to become a problem. So you want to work ideally with
people that are willing to help supportyour performance. And do know that you're
(29:42):
that When I say you're oppressed arepressed warrior, that means that the repression
can kind of you can break throughthe oppression, and sometimes you'll break through
it in the wrong way. Soyou have to be you have to know
that your warrior side can come outat the absolute worst possible time, in
(30:03):
the worst possible way. Be preparedfor that and try to stop it.
Obviously, you don't want to getyourself in unnecessary trouble. You want to
avoid getting yourself into bad situations.So be prepared and try to and try
(30:26):
to avoid those kinds of situations.So if you think you're gonna if you're
if you think you're gonna get alittle too angry or whatever, maybe back
away from that thing. Maybe backaway from that thing. Maybe it's a
little too much passion for the momentumtakes some time to think. You have
a lot, you have a lotmore power than than then you expect.
(30:51):
You may think that you can throwa sixty mile in our fastball, but
you're throwing a ninety mile in ourfastball, and nine mile in our fastball
is gonna be way more injurious umthan a sixty mile an hour fastball.
So you have to be able tocontrol that, just like I explained in
the last episode. So that thoseare some of those Those are a few
(31:18):
of the a few of the keythings. Um, I know we're up
to like half an hour now,um. But what one of the things
is that obviously you is that togrow into this sort of identity. One
of the things that I found ishelpful is regular intense physical training. So
(31:42):
obviously, like it can be hardto quantify when it comes to situations that
are more socially dynamic and complex,like like when you're doing things at an
intellectual level, it can be hardto conceptualize your strength and really feel it.
And sometimes you can also have alot of stress that is building up
(32:07):
inside of your body that you sortof feel in your body, not necessarily
a mental thing, but you feelit physically. And also stress can tax
your body in certain ways. Soif medically appropriate, if you're if you're
safe to do so from a medicallevel, and I definitely recommend getting all
(32:29):
of your medical checkups done and beingextra diligent with those, especially if you're
under a ton of stress or traumaor whatever, because those things can lead
to disease. So do get do, get get to your doctor, get
your checkups done. But regular intensephysical training can help with strength, emotional
regulation, and to create confidence,and you may have to be more disciplined
(32:52):
about it than normal. Maybe again, you may not be the comverson you
can get away with, like likebeing out of the gym for too long
and slacking off on it. Sothat's one thing because then when you start
to actually feel and this is somethingwhere you're in a little bit more control
(33:12):
of yourself. Obviously social determinants ofhealth and all that stuff, your own
intrinsic health issues and all that.But I have noticed that I've been I've
been pretty athletic for a good dealof my life, but I have gotten
really really serious about about lifting weights, like almost like bodybuilding type training,
(33:34):
and I've noticed that that actually reallyprogresses you and changes how you feel about
things mentally as well. Probably moreintense cardio training is going to help more
with like stress regulation and stress toleranceover time. I need to get better
about that. I am getting betterabout that. But what you'll notice,
(33:54):
and I think I first noticed thiswhen I was in college. It's like,
okay, after a good day ofafter like I don't know, not
a good day, like a goodweek or two of seriously lifting. And
I was such an on and offlifter in college. Honestly, wish I
would have used that time better whenI had a gym so close by and
all that. But I'm making upfor lost time now. Is that I
(34:17):
noticed that I was a lot moreconfident, like just that feeling especially like
this is going to be especially truefor true for men. But that feeling
of like that you're really like strong, like and the way that even like
your clothes fit, and the waythat you start to look, especially if
(34:37):
you're lifting really heavy weights, andlike your your waist is narrower than your
chest by a good margin, andyour arms are starting to fill out a
little bit. I'm nowhere near beinglike a nowhere near being jacked. But
when you get to that point,you start to believe a lot more in
your strength than like just about everyother area of life. It's not a
(35:00):
magic solution, but it does helpquite a bit, and it does help
you to start to believe in yourown ability to change things because you can
like literally see how your body ischanging over time. Maybe marginal. It
can be a little demoralizing in timebecause it can take a lot of time,
but you can start to see it, and then you can start to
really feel the difference in terms ofconfidence. You start to see when you
(35:22):
start to like see, at leastfor me, when you start to see
something that looks a little bit morelike you're a really strong person, Like
you don't look as weak anymore.When you look yourself in the mirror.
That can really change your attitude towardyourself overall. And again I go pretty
(35:45):
intense. I've explained I think inprior episodes kind of my my routine.
I don't necessarily want you to copywhat I'm doing because it may not be
right for you. Again, youneed to have regular health screenings by by
by a good doctor, make surethat you're healthy enough to take on intense
physical activity. I do go tothe gym like five five days a week
(36:07):
anywhere between like an hour and anhour and a half a lot of like
a lot of heavy lifting. Notnecessarily I have to Again, it's gonna
have to be unique to you.For me, I'm pretty uncoordinated, so
I've stuck to like the whole machinebased routines with only a little bit of
barbell work and dumbbell work every oncein a while, but basically basically hitting
(36:31):
every muscle group once to twice aweek with about ten to twelve sets.
But I'm kind of caring. It'snot the point of this episode. Really
off to do a bit of abetter more research episode on workout programs.
But again, you have to findexactly what's right for you whether there's more
structure, less structure, or discipline, Like I've had to adjust to like
(36:53):
doing weekly, like like like tento twelve sets a week. That's that's
saying that I'm doing it on aweekly basis. Even though some workout programs
will be like you need to do, you need to train, you need
to train this exact number of setsat each workout, and this day has
to be this type of workout.I'm just like, if I can get
(37:15):
to that cumulative number of sets aweek, then I'll be good. Maybe
it's not ideal, but it worksfor me. So once you get that
in place, you have the mindyou have sort of the mindset of knowing
that you are strong enough to dothese things. You don't internalize the negative
(37:37):
things that other people are putting onyou. You find like the right environment
when it comes to your especially whenit comes to the workplace. Sometimes you're
going to have to create that environment. Policy change is needed to create a
more inclusive world that doesn't require anextreme level of victory to survive it,
(37:59):
and you can start to create change. Obviously, you probably are in this
situation where you're being demeaned because you'retrying to create change. You're probably trying
to organize your workplace already, considerstuff like entrepreneurship, but also obviously continue
if you are on the pathway tounionizing your workplace, keep going on that.
(38:19):
If you see a good path forthat, your coworkers are going along
with it, continue along with that, continue along with social change. Get
getting a situation where you're going tobe both economically stronger as well as others
around you, and having that communityaround you, and being an environment where
you can actually thrive. Making sureto investing yourself as best as possible,
(38:44):
keep yourself economically safe and sound,so that, hey, if you wind
up unionizing, you wind up onstrike, you can take care of things.
You can even possibly support others financiallythrough the whole process, and know
that this will probably be also acollective process. But keep yourself individually well
(39:05):
and healthy and strong also physically.Just like I explained, get all your
health screenings, make sure that youare able to take the kind of rest
and recovery that you need, andknow that it may look different from other
people and how other people do things, but it's still just as valid the
way you're doing things. Once youfind something, once you find exactly what
(39:29):
works for you, try your bestto stick to it. Some people require
a lot more rigid, more disciplinethings other people don't. The most important
thing is to figure out what exactlyworks for you and get the support that
you need if you need help.It's not a bad thing to ask for
help. Ask for help in theright way from people to get what you
(39:52):
are like, and make sure thatpeople who get your values, your ideas,
your personalities, and you may needto offload some things to others,
and know that just because you're notperfect and you maybe you haven't had the
support or love from others and haven'thad the victory of success or success,
doesn't mean you aren't capable of greatthings, and you can achieve the success
(40:20):
that you want, whether in yourpersonal life, in your business, your
work life, and in advocating forothers, and especially use your power once
you have gotten to that point,once you found your way to try to
help others and also help people alongthe way. If you're one of those
people who are who is a leaderof an advocacy or nonprofit organization, if
(40:42):
you have some sort of message oridea that you want to advocate for and
you're looking for the right way tocommunicate that message. If you need support
in organizing your advocacy project, yourcommunity improvement nonprofit project. If you need
help communicating your socially responsible business messageto the public, please reach out to
(41:08):
me through my business, off SpeedSolutions off speed solutions dot com. I'll
put the link in the description.What I do is I help organizations create
a good message, find ways toreach the key stakeholders they need to the
key customers for businesses using all formsof marketing, all areas of digital marketing,
(41:30):
social media advertising, all designed withthe socially responsible business or the advocacy
organization in mind. I have quitea bit of experience working with a lot
of different organizations and I'd love tobe able to help you. And I
am the kind of person who willwork with you and work with your individual
(41:53):
situation, your values, your goals, your identity. So please reach out.
Go to offspeed solutions dot com.If you have any questions from this
episode, if you're going through asituation right now that you just want to
vent about, if there's somebody outthere, if there's something out there that's
wrong in politics or in society thatyou want me to comment on call in
(42:16):
eight four four four seven seven Punkeight four four four seven seven seven eight
six five. Call in, leavea message and you might get your message
played on the next episode. Pleasefollow me on social media at fixer Punk
on Instagram and TikTok f i xc r p u n K at Grayson
Nation, gr eys o n nA t I o N on Twitter.
(42:39):
Thank you so much for joining mefor what is unfortunately a pretty long episode,
or maybe fortunately give me your feedbackcall in eight four four four seven
seven Punk eight four four four sevenseven seven eight six five. Let me
know what you thought, and Iwould love to see you again on the
next episode. Thank you for choosingto spend some of your time with me
(43:00):
today. This content is for entertainmentand general informational purposes only. Will you
not warrant or guarantee the accuracy ofthe information herein. If you suspect any
medical or mental health concern, pleasepromptly consult a qualified physician. The listeners
(43:22):
should not rely solely upon this contentand consult a competent professional before deciding to
follow any course of action.
This is the Fixer Punk podcast,the podcast that isn't hiring a fitness and
nutrition coach for this summer's physique becausewe know that we're going to need the
money to pay our student loans comeSeptember. I'm Grayson Peltier. So this
is the second part of the episodethat I did last week discussing the repressed
(00:26):
warrior paradox. This is where I'mgoing into some more practical steps as to
what to do if you fit intothat typology that I explained on last week's
episode. And it's pretty important becauseyou don't want to whether you're an activist,
whether you're somebody with some sort ofunique characteristics has somewhat of a different
way of going about life, andyou want to get the best performance out
(00:50):
of yourself. You want to getthe best outcome as an advocate, if
you want to get the best outcomein terms of campaigning, or if you
just want to have your business andcareer succeed while having that sort of difference
about you, whatever that may bethat other people are both ridiculing you for
(01:11):
at the same time but also viewingyou as the biggest threat in the world
for then you're going to want totake action and not go into a fight
blind and untrained and not even knowingthat you were in such a fight.
So go back to last week's episodeif you have not listened to it already.
(01:34):
But to put things simply, therepressed warrior paradox is basically where those
with strong potential are held down andbeing fought back against out of proportion with
what you'd expect, and you don'trealize that it's because of your extremely strong
potential to create both social change andpersonal victory. And people who experience this,
(01:56):
in many cases myself, because theydon't see their own potential. You'll
back down, or you'll be blindsidedand not be prepared. And this actually
means this is a good thing,even though what the main characteristic of this
is is getting beaten when you're alreadydown. So if you are in a
(02:21):
situation where either you as an individualor as part of a group, you're
realizing that people are basically kicking youwhen you're down, when your ideas seem
to show that you are in theworst place possible. You are dealing with
some sort of oppression on a systemiclevel. You're maybe working through a personal
challenge like some sort of disability,maybe you're dealing with a economic injustice,
(02:46):
and especially anything related to economic injustice. If you're advocating for change, for
better conditions in the workplace, forbetter social welfare policies, especially for better
policies around abilities for reparations for peopleof color, and those are just a
(03:06):
few examples LGBTQ community as well,it is more likely than not that you're
going to experience this repressed warrior paradoxwhere you know that you have strong potential,
you also at the same time arebeing told that you're weak, lazy,
(03:27):
and a whiner by others. Meanwhile, others are fighting you and fighting
against your ideas and the change thatyou're going for as being the worst threat
in the entire world. And it'sthe actions of those who are oppressed to
see political or economic power is what'sgoing to get you to get that kind
of response that both that teasing responseand also that response of your the biggest
(03:52):
threat in the world, for example, like Black Lives Matter is seeing by
some conservatives as both being weak crybabies and also the greatest threat to America
of all time. And that contradictionis basically in a way it can get
you to internalize repressive ideas. Sothe performance steps that I'm explaining today are
(04:15):
going to be super important because youneed to be in a good position.
Even if you're being seen as excessivelysensitive and you're dealing with this paradox,
you need to be strong enough toactually overcome that, and you don't want
(04:36):
to internalize it because internalizing repressive ideaswill result in you losing your ability to
create change and destroying your personal potentialas well. If you take into account
the way they're telling you you're weaking, you're lazing, you're also seeing this
immense amount of force going against youthat anytime you go and you try to
(04:57):
advocate for something, you try toask for something more work, you try
to go to a city council meetingor whatever, you are being beaten down
very easily. And then you're alsobeing told that you're weak and you're lazy
for holding these ideas, and thatyou're less than for fighting for change and
equality. That combination can get intoyou and make you believe that what you're
doing is just not worthwhile, andit can cause you to basically be defeated.
(05:21):
So these steps are going to bevery critical both for yourself personally and
also for your advocacy work if you'redoing that. But even if you're just
a person who's going about and you'rerealizing, why the heck when I ask
for something that's like the bare minimumof human dignity, I'm getting fought back
(05:42):
against with the force of a mactruck. This is something that you need to
think about. You need to thinkabout taking some steps to make sure that
you're prepared. And the first thingthat I want to explain is that you
may not be able to rely onthe normal systems that are that exist in
(06:04):
society. So you will likely haveto be more prepared and stronger than normal,
even as people perceive as weaker orespecially when you are in need.
And this is the really sad part, is that because our society is basically
built to serve people under a certainstereotype, whether we're talking racial, gender,
(06:26):
socioeconomic stereotype, ability, these systemsthat are in place, the very
limited systems that we have to tryto help people, the systems that we
have for people to try to growand advance to become better people, to
improve their education, their income,even the healthcare system, those things may
not be designed for people that arecoming from an oppressed background, and especially
(06:50):
they're not going to like I likeis kind of a funny word, but
I can't think of a better wordfor it. Somebody who is coming from
an oppressed minority type background, orfrom a background that is otherwise socially ostracized,
who has strong potential, who isstrong willed, and who has the
(07:11):
potential to succeed, They're especially notgoing to like that. Again, you
walk into the welfare system with awith a great degree and great education,
with a good amount of with agood amount of fessional experience, but you
lost your job, you may besent back into a low wage job as
(07:32):
a janitor. Like I explained thelast episode, the systems are not necessarily
going to be there to help tohelp you the same way they would have
the people. That's not a reasonnot to advocate, obviously. One of
the key messages of this is thatyou need to advocate for better systems that
(07:54):
can support all people to reach theirfull potential. But systems are maybe not
going to be there for you.From a policy perspective, social safety nets
are designed with a quote unquote averageperson in mind, and with other interests
in mind as well, largely justconformity in capitalism, sometimes real estate,
(08:15):
community nuisance nimby stuff as well,because it's basically a matter like I was
explaining in the Homelessness episode, ofjust getting people that are a nuisance to
the predominant community out of the way. So those systems may not support you
to become the person that you wantto be. So you want to put
(08:37):
yourself in a good position financially,physically, socially, emotionally, spiritually where
you can be strong enough to fendfor yourself, not out of some sort
of toxic self reliance, but outof your ability to perform. So you
want to make sure that you've developedthat. But it may be difficult for
you to develop that. You maynot be the steotype of the person who
(09:01):
is high performance. You may notbe the typical white male, rich tech
bro who is doing their Huberman Labssuper optimization protocols every single day, But
you still have to be able toadopt good high performance practices. Even if
you're sort of the opposite of aperson who would be seen as needing like
high performance practices or lifestyle or thingslike that, you still have to do
(09:28):
both the care for yourself and thenalso preparing yourself to be strong enough to
deal with the opposition that you're goingto face in the world just because people
see you as different, and thatespecially applies to the workplace. Economically,
you're probably gonna have to find yourown way to an extent, the workplace
in many ways is more about abusingpeople to give bosses a rise than it
(09:52):
is actual productivity. So when itcomes to your financial situation, you are
definitely going to want to have moreof a of a self reliant financial position
than normal. The way you achievethis may be a bit different, but
you definitely want to put yourself ina good position financially, have a good
amount of savings, have a goodbackup plan for if anything goes wrong,
(10:18):
really, whether that's that's all thestuff around, like debt. Sometimes good
idea to carry debt instead of payit off. It's going to deplete your
savings too much. I'm not goingto go too much into the nuances of
that, but you want to beat a good position position economically as best
as you can get yourself to thepoint where you're not going to be basically
having to constantly rely on bosses.Again, probably pretty hard if people don't
(10:41):
like you and you're having trouble inthe workplace already. But if you get
to that point, then you'll youthen you want to be in that way.
You want to be secure like that, and you want to also obviously
consider entrepreneurship, consider things like thatthat will get you to that financial goal.
But one thing that you will haveto kind of keep in mind is
(11:03):
that you're not going to have thatsame linear progression. Things are going to
come about a lot differently for youif you're if you're dealing with this kind
of typology, you won't be ableto work yourself up the ranks. You'll
have to basically leap. That's whystuff like entrepreneurship becomes relevant is because you're
not working your way up from associatestooge to chief stooge, to manager to
(11:31):
EVP to to the C suite.It's not going to happen like that.
It's it's it's going to be it'sgoing to be a bit more of an
interesting ride. And you may evenwhen you're in like a typical system,
typical workplace system, and this isvery sad, but you may even get
ridiculed by comparison. This is somethingthat I see commonly with people with disabilities,
(11:54):
where somebody will say, oh,yeah, I've seen somebody with a
worst disability who has done great withthe convention system and they they're working eighty
hours a week and they're doing allgreat, and they have the same exact
disability as you do. Well.No, that they don't have the same
exact thing. Each person is individual. We understand that we're talking about some
(12:16):
sort of like high end executive orathlete or some other type of high performer,
that their practices are gonna be alittle bit different. They're gonna be
a little quirky, They're gonna bea little weird in the things that they
do. Maybe you're not the personwho gives yourself an ice bath every day.
Maybe you're not the person who hassome wacky superstition about the meal they
eat before a game. Maybe thingswill be a little different, that each
(12:39):
person's gonna be a little different.But the ridicule does oftentimes come in that
form. Is like, for example, on my TikTok at fixer Punk,
there was a video I posted along time ago that keeps getting randomly bumped
up. The algorithm and people keeprandomly commenting on it it's about this girl,
(13:00):
or actually I think it's I thinkI think they're non binaries, so
I'm going to use them. I'mnot one hundred percent sure. I don't
want to misgender, so I sincerelyapologize that person if I am in fact
mis gendering them. But they aregained a good amount of audience on social
(13:22):
media, but they were still livingin their mom's house, and there was
sort of a it sort of becamelike this sort of generational warfare type debate
between like the mom and all thesepeople kind of on social media going in
favor of the mom, against againstthe against against her. Her child aged
(13:46):
roughly aged twenty allegedly who was dealingwith some mental illness and wasn't getting the
support at home that they needed aroundtheir gender identity, wasn't getting the help
they need around their mental health situation, which was serious and they allege to
(14:07):
be disabling. But they're showing potentialin terms of getting audience online and seeking
support from people online to try tofind a better living situation than their mom's
house. And that resulted in abunch of people criticizing this person on social
media extensively, and I keep gettingthese comments of like, well I have
(14:28):
my son has schizophrenia and and canwork as a plumber is making eighty thousand
dollars a year. Well, II have a broken back, a broken
neck, and I'm wheelchair bound,and yet I go to work every single
day without a problem. Yeah,obviously it's good. This podcast is not
(14:48):
going to tell you to be extremelylazy. In fact, one of the
key principles that I do want tobring up is that is that you can't.
Even though you will be a lotmore unique than others, you don't
want to give up on things.You don't want to let their imputation of
(15:11):
weakness towards you become a self fulfillingprophecy. And you have to know that
because of the situation you're in,where you're seen is a little bit different.
Nothing less than peak performance may workfor you. You may have to
be stricter, you may have tobe less strict. The key thing is
to find what works for you.You probably can't get away in some ways
(15:33):
with things the way normal people can. Either. There is a quote from
that I don't know who the originalsources. I just know that a wrestler
named ec three brought it up atone point. I don't recommend the majority
of his work, but I didwant to sort of reflect on this quote
of this is a ruthless world andyou must be ruthless to cope with it,
(15:56):
And is that the way it shouldbe? Absolutely not, No,
but you have to have a significantamount I don't know if a hundred percent
degree with that precept, but youdo have to have a significant amount of
strength, and especially if you're goingto be seen or viewed as different and
(16:18):
maybe not supported as much by othersaround you because you are in a category
that is that is facing some sortof oppression from society. And in that
video, referring to this person thatwas getting kicked out into their mom's house,
I said, they need to finda better place for themselves where they
(16:40):
can perform and be at their best. And that is sort of how the
first step of this is finding theright environment and knowing what works for you
and sticking with it along with embracingit. I did mention this on the
last episode, but you need toembrace the fact that you are. In
(17:00):
fact, the fact that things aregetting harder for you means that you have
a lot of potential and know that'swho you are. And just knowing that
and knowing that the potential is realcan stop you from getting super hopeless.
And basically, I want you tostop fighting yourself with the negative ideas that
(17:21):
others are putting onto Like in theexample of this this person, what the
mom says about how bad of aperson the kid is. Take those ideas
out. If you're a person ofcolor, you've heard all these ideas about
how about how people of color arecommitting all the crimes. You hear all
these negative ideas in society. Don'tinternalize that. Don't take that to heart
(17:48):
too much. And you have toreally, if you're in a situation where
you're already being seen as sort ofdifferent in society and you're in this type
of situation, what you have todo, and this is way more important
than it is for an average personsto become who you've dreamed of being.
And if you don't, it willblow up inside of you in a way.
(18:11):
It will blow up inside of youif you don't become or at least
you're taking steps to become the personyou dreamed of being. Again, you're
not going to climb up the ladder. Normally you have to leap up it,
ignoring your problems and just kind ofgiving up and sometimes even just feeling
better about a failure. Yes,you want to feel better, move on
(18:33):
from things you've done wrong or orthe fact that you've made as much progress.
Sometimes that just makes it worse.Becoming weaker makes it worse and you
but you want to accommodate and carefor yourself. But don't succumb to the
weakness. Don't succumb to the weaknessbecause that's a perception that's being put on
you. To an extent, youdon't want to let their imputation of weakness
become a self fulfilling prophecy. Andthen how do you do that? How
(18:56):
do you prevent their weakness from becominga self fulfilling office. So you do
that by focusing on key practices andknowledge. First off, the knowledge that
you create within yourself, your ownnative knowledge of how you work, how
you perform. Being in a goodenvironment for that, the environment that allows
you to be you is key.Not trying to make something, make you
(19:21):
into something you aren't. But itis hard to get the right resources to
perform, to perform well with aunique personality. When you're in an oppressed
situation, investing yourself when you can, obviously the basics, care for your
physical and mental health, be trainedup for high stress, and know when
to back out of something when somethingis just too hard for you at the
(19:45):
time and you need to and youneed to prepare yourself for it, or
if you need to find a differentenvironment, know when to back out of
those things like going back to thatmom situation. Know when maybe you need
to find another place to live andthat's just not the right battle for you
to be picking. Getting beaten upbefore you get up creates a death spiral,
(20:10):
and victory, not submission, isthe only remedy. You need to
find a way that you can getup and say I earned it and know
that you are, in fact,actually as strong as you are. So
just basically laying down and getting pinnedby whatever problem it is, whatever form
of oppression, whatever form of ofproblem or prejudice that you're that you're facing,
(20:37):
is not the solution. It's notit's not going to help you in
the long term. There's definitely andI one percent believe that there. You
have to find ways to rest likea lot of people like you'll find like
elite athletes. I read some articleabout NBA players who randomly napped during the
day, and sometimes even the coachesmaybe don't like it, they accept it.
(21:02):
They are getting practices for you thatare going to be like that,
a bit unusual. The things thatyou need to do to rest, but
that will get you, help youget to the to the next level.
Allow yourself to time to recover,care for your physical and mental health,
and do it in the right waythat works for you. Again, this
is going to be more difficult becauseyou're not going to have the same kind
(21:22):
of resources as someone who's more successful, someone who's commonly consciously seen as strong.
Those types of people maybe have gottenmore success in society, but you
do have to know that you arein that category. But avoid the excessive
(21:45):
judgmental rhetoric. As you try towork to build yourself up, you avoid
that excessive judgmental rhetoric, but youdon't avoid all difficult things. So this
is a this is a common thingthat sometimes you'll fall into because when you
have this internalizing you of oh mygod, I'm so much weaker, so
much less than everybody else, Andthat's all I'm hearing and all I'm seeing
(22:08):
is that I've been defeated a trilliontimes. Then you want to stay away
from people that are excessively judgmental,Like if you're looking for help or coaching
or whatever or self help resources,you want to avoid excessively judgmental rhetoric like
the way that the mom was justkind of being demeaning even though maybe it
(22:29):
was just out of frustration to thisperson, to the child that was that's
that's gonna feel judgmental. That's notnecessarily the kind of coaching that you need.
But you don't avoid all difficult things. You want to take control of
your own development. So in someways they want you to, especially if
(22:52):
you're dealing with politically judgmental people orpeople that are that are judging a certain
social and racial group. They wantthat group able to stay weak and basically
easy to beat up. And systems. Like I said before, systems may
not help you in the way thatthey may help somebody else. And again
this is sadness is because of theway that we've constructed as our society under
(23:17):
capitalism. There are people that aregetting oppressed. There's prejudice and things like
that. Even prejudice that we don'teven know existed, like like against you.
Sometimes within your own family, peoplewill be prejudiced against members of their
own family who maybe if you havea mixed race family, maybe if somebody
in the family, especially somebody akid with a disability that maybe has really
(23:37):
good potential, that that kid isgoing to get a lot of a lot
of flack in some cases. Butyou want to take control of your own
development and do it in your ownway, so you don't have to rely
on outside forces pushing you to dowhat you want to do. And when
whatever you're doing, you want tofoo focus on results and what you specifically
(24:02):
uniquely want. So whatever your goalyour dream is, you want to focus
on that and developing the correct behaviorsand practices and principles to achieve that,
not on behavioral compliance. Remember thatyour nature is probably to fight back against
behavioral control, although some people dobetter with stricter rules, so you have
to find what works best for you, and you can burn out far more
(24:25):
easily as well, especially if you'redealing with some sort of chronic stress,
chronic trauma, So you may notbe the person who's constantly working even though
you hear all the people online saying, well, the solution to all of
your problems is to work an eightyhour work week and you can pay off
your debt and be strong just likeme and be rich like me. That
(24:45):
may not be the case for youwhen it doesn't have to be the case,
So you have to find an environmenteven though it's hard to they'll allow
you to use your values, useyour value and not hurt you. You
may not be able to go intothe whole constantly working type situation. You
may not be working an eighty houra week, even though people want you
(25:07):
to do that in order to dowell financially, and you do want to
be You do want to be emotionallyvulnerable and kind, but don't let yourself
get knocked down. That's the mainchallenge here because in some ways, the
way that you open up to peopleand the way that you relate to people
(25:30):
and the community that you build withothers in a similar situation can be your
key to becoming successful. Is thekindness and the empathy. Because you've been
through a lot, you have theopportunity to be kinder to other people,
be nicer to other people, andpeople like to do business with people they
like so once you So if you'relike that, if you're building yourself up,
(25:56):
but you're also being good to others, that can help you get more
places. I know that sometimes inlike the business world, empathy and stuff
like that in the conventional world isnot valued as much, but there are
certainly people with humanity who really valuethat and that could become a niche market
for you in terms of in termsof the business world. But preparate.
(26:22):
But the next step is really preparation. You have to you do have to
work a lot harder in some insome cases because you have strengthen capabilities that
you don't know that you have.So you have to work harder to discover
those things. Sometimes maybe you knowit, um, maybe you don't,
(26:44):
but you have to be. Butyou have to be prepared with those things
tom to share them because maybe maybepeople will see it in you, but
maybe people won't don't see it inyou right away. So if you have
to choot your own horn, um, then then do so. And it's
(27:07):
going to take some time to getto a point you feel that comfortable,
but hey, it will be worthit. And now what you wait when
you're seeing this and obviously is you'reworking hard through these things, it doesn't
make like the trauma of everything you'vebeen through go away. So you have
(27:30):
to be You have to be ableto get the right support, you have
to um, you have to beable to get when you when you feel
like there's something going on with you. There are very few hard and fast
rules that I applied to just aboutevery situation on this podcast, but one
(27:53):
of those I apply to most situationsis that when something feels wrong, you
need to take action to determ andwhat it is and take action on that
as quickly as possible. Don't letthings linger for too long. So you
do want to be more diligent,and especially if you think you're going to
mess up in some way, bemore diligent and more careful than usual.
(28:14):
Don't let it overwhelm you. Butyou do want to root out those things
that could go wrong ahead of time, rather than letting them fester. And
that's especially true when it comes tohealth and your mental health. Get the
right mental health care, you needto consider a performance model, if possible,
(28:37):
a provider that is going to focuson things where you're improving your mental
performance rather than just sedating or takingaway symptoms, because what does it really
matter If your anxiety is gone,if you're still not achieving your goals,
(28:59):
if you're not helping people, ifyou're not serving, if you're not able
to serve your community, well,you're not able to overcome oppression for yourself
or your community and your family.You're not able to create the kind of
change you envision, the big goalthat you set for yourself. Initially,
you're not becoming the person you wantto be. It's still going to burn
up inside of you. Even ifyour anxiety is gone, even if it's
(29:22):
repressed, if it's if your depressionis somehow being masked or covered up,
it's still going to become a problem. So you want to work ideally with
people that are willing to help supportyour performance. And do know that you're
(29:42):
that When I say you're oppressed arepressed warrior, that means that the repression
can kind of you can break throughthe oppression, and sometimes you'll break through
it in the wrong way. Soyou have to be you have to know
that your warrior side can come outat the absolute worst possible time, in
(30:03):
the worst possible way. Be preparedfor that and try to stop it.
Obviously, you don't want to getyourself in unnecessary trouble. You want to
avoid getting yourself into bad situations.So be prepared and try to and try
(30:26):
to avoid those kinds of situations.So if you think you're gonna if you're
if you think you're gonna get alittle too angry or whatever, maybe back
away from that thing. Maybe backaway from that thing. Maybe it's a
little too much passion for the momentumtakes some time to think. You have
a lot, you have a lotmore power than than then you expect.
(30:51):
You may think that you can throwa sixty mile in our fastball, but
you're throwing a ninety mile in ourfastball, and nine mile in our fastball
is gonna be way more injurious umthan a sixty mile an hour fastball.
So you have to be able tocontrol that, just like I explained in
the last episode. So that thoseare some of those Those are a few
(31:18):
of the a few of the keythings. Um, I know we're up
to like half an hour now,um. But what one of the things
is that obviously you is that togrow into this sort of identity. One
of the things that I found ishelpful is regular intense physical training. So
(31:42):
obviously, like it can be hardto quantify when it comes to situations that
are more socially dynamic and complex,like like when you're doing things at an
intellectual level, it can be hardto conceptualize your strength and really feel it.
And sometimes you can also have alot of stress that is building up
(32:07):
inside of your body that you sortof feel in your body, not necessarily
a mental thing, but you feelit physically. And also stress can tax
your body in certain ways. Soif medically appropriate, if you're if you're
safe to do so from a medicallevel, and I definitely recommend getting all
(32:29):
of your medical checkups done and beingextra diligent with those, especially if you're
under a ton of stress or traumaor whatever, because those things can lead
to disease. So do get do, get get to your doctor, get
your checkups done. But regular intensephysical training can help with strength, emotional
regulation, and to create confidence,and you may have to be more disciplined
(32:52):
about it than normal. Maybe again, you may not be the comverson you
can get away with, like likebeing out of the gym for too long
and slacking off on it. Sothat's one thing because then when you start
to actually feel and this is somethingwhere you're in a little bit more control
(33:12):
of yourself. Obviously social determinants ofhealth and all that stuff, your own
intrinsic health issues and all that.But I have noticed that I've been I've
been pretty athletic for a good dealof my life, but I have gotten
really really serious about about lifting weights, like almost like bodybuilding type training,
(33:34):
and I've noticed that that actually reallyprogresses you and changes how you feel about
things mentally as well. Probably moreintense cardio training is going to help more
with like stress regulation and stress toleranceover time. I need to get better
about that. I am getting betterabout that. But what you'll notice,
(33:54):
and I think I first noticed thiswhen I was in college. It's like,
okay, after a good day ofafter like I don't know, not
a good day, like a goodweek or two of seriously lifting. And
I was such an on and offlifter in college. Honestly, wish I
would have used that time better whenI had a gym so close by and
all that. But I'm making upfor lost time now. Is that I
(34:17):
noticed that I was a lot moreconfident, like just that feeling especially like
this is going to be especially truefor true for men. But that feeling
of like that you're really like strong, like and the way that even like
your clothes fit, and the waythat you start to look, especially if
(34:37):
you're lifting really heavy weights, andlike your your waist is narrower than your
chest by a good margin, andyour arms are starting to fill out a
little bit. I'm nowhere near beinglike a nowhere near being jacked. But
when you get to that point,you start to believe a lot more in
your strength than like just about everyother area of life. It's not a
(35:00):
magic solution, but it does helpquite a bit, and it does help
you to start to believe in yourown ability to change things because you can
like literally see how your body ischanging over time. Maybe marginal. It
can be a little demoralizing in timebecause it can take a lot of time,
but you can start to see it, and then you can start to
really feel the difference in terms ofconfidence. You start to see when you
(35:22):
start to like see, at leastfor me, when you start to see
something that looks a little bit morelike you're a really strong person, Like
you don't look as weak anymore.When you look yourself in the mirror.
That can really change your attitude towardyourself overall. And again I go pretty
(35:45):
intense. I've explained I think inprior episodes kind of my my routine.
I don't necessarily want you to copywhat I'm doing because it may not be
right for you. Again, youneed to have regular health screenings by by
by a good doctor, make surethat you're healthy enough to take on intense
physical activity. I do go tothe gym like five five days a week
(36:07):
anywhere between like an hour and anhour and a half a lot of like
a lot of heavy lifting. Notnecessarily I have to Again, it's gonna
have to be unique to you.For me, I'm pretty uncoordinated, so
I've stuck to like the whole machinebased routines with only a little bit of
barbell work and dumbbell work every oncein a while, but basically basically hitting
(36:31):
every muscle group once to twice aweek with about ten to twelve sets.
But I'm kind of caring. It'snot the point of this episode. Really
off to do a bit of abetter more research episode on workout programs.
But again, you have to findexactly what's right for you whether there's more
structure, less structure, or discipline, Like I've had to adjust to like
(36:53):
doing weekly, like like like tento twelve sets a week. That's that's
saying that I'm doing it on aweekly basis. Even though some workout programs
will be like you need to do, you need to train, you need
to train this exact number of setsat each workout, and this day has
to be this type of workout.I'm just like, if I can get
(37:15):
to that cumulative number of sets aweek, then I'll be good. Maybe
it's not ideal, but it worksfor me. So once you get that
in place, you have the mindyou have sort of the mindset of knowing
that you are strong enough to dothese things. You don't internalize the negative
(37:37):
things that other people are putting onyou. You find like the right environment
when it comes to your especially whenit comes to the workplace. Sometimes you're
going to have to create that environment. Policy change is needed to create a
more inclusive world that doesn't require anextreme level of victory to survive it,
(37:59):
and you can start to create change. Obviously, you probably are in this
situation where you're being demeaned because you'retrying to create change. You're probably trying
to organize your workplace already, considerstuff like entrepreneurship, but also obviously continue
if you are on the pathway tounionizing your workplace, keep going on that.
(38:19):
If you see a good path forthat, your coworkers are going along
with it, continue along with that, continue along with social change. Get
getting a situation where you're going tobe both economically stronger as well as others
around you, and having that communityaround you, and being an environment where
you can actually thrive. Making sureto investing yourself as best as possible,
(38:44):
keep yourself economically safe and sound,so that, hey, if you wind
up unionizing, you wind up onstrike, you can take care of things.
You can even possibly support others financiallythrough the whole process, and know
that this will probably be also acollective process. But keep yourself individually well
(39:05):
and healthy and strong also physically.Just like I explained, get all your
health screenings, make sure that youare able to take the kind of rest
and recovery that you need, andknow that it may look different from other
people and how other people do things, but it's still just as valid the
way you're doing things. Once youfind something, once you find exactly what
(39:29):
works for you, try your bestto stick to it. Some people require
a lot more rigid, more disciplinethings other people don't. The most important
thing is to figure out what exactlyworks for you and get the support that
you need if you need help.It's not a bad thing to ask for
help. Ask for help in theright way from people to get what you
(39:52):
are like, and make sure thatpeople who get your values, your ideas,
your personalities, and you may needto offload some things to others,
and know that just because you're notperfect and you maybe you haven't had the
support or love from others and haven'thad the victory of success or success,
doesn't mean you aren't capable of greatthings, and you can achieve the success
(40:20):
that you want, whether in yourpersonal life, in your business, your
work life, and in advocating forothers, and especially use your power once
you have gotten to that point,once you found your way to try to
help others and also help people alongthe way. If you're one of those
people who are who is a leaderof an advocacy or nonprofit organization, if
(40:42):
you have some sort of message oridea that you want to advocate for and
you're looking for the right way tocommunicate that message. If you need support
in organizing your advocacy project, yourcommunity improvement nonprofit project. If you need
help communicating your socially responsible business messageto the public, please reach out to
(41:08):
me through my business, off SpeedSolutions off speed solutions dot com. I'll
put the link in the description.What I do is I help organizations create
a good message, find ways toreach the key stakeholders they need to the
key customers for businesses using all formsof marketing, all areas of digital marketing,
(41:30):
social media advertising, all designed withthe socially responsible business or the advocacy
organization in mind. I have quitea bit of experience working with a lot
of different organizations and I'd love tobe able to help you. And I
am the kind of person who willwork with you and work with your individual
(41:53):
situation, your values, your goals, your identity. So please reach out.
Go to offspeed solutions dot com.If you have any questions from this
episode, if you're going through asituation right now that you just want to
vent about, if there's somebody outthere, if there's something out there that's
wrong in politics or in society thatyou want me to comment on call in
(42:16):
eight four four four seven seven Punkeight four four four seven seven seven eight
six five. Call in, leavea message and you might get your message
played on the next episode. Pleasefollow me on social media at fixer Punk
on Instagram and TikTok f i xc r p u n K at Grayson
Nation, gr eys o n nA t I o N on Twitter.
(42:39):
Thank you so much for joining mefor what is unfortunately a pretty long episode,
or maybe fortunately give me your feedbackcall in eight four four four seven
seven Punk eight four four four sevenseven seven eight six five. Let me
know what you thought, and Iwould love to see you again on the
next episode. Thank you for choosingto spend some of your time with me
(43:00):
today. This content is for entertainmentand general informational purposes only. Will you
not warrant or guarantee the accuracy ofthe information herein. If you suspect any
medical or mental health concern, pleasepromptly consult a qualified physician. The listeners
(43:22):
should not rely solely upon this contentand consult a competent professional before deciding to
follow any course of action.
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