Episode Transcript
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Don't you always want to be thebest you can be. The Frankie Boyer
Show it's more than a lifestyle show. It's a show about living in today's
world. I think something is happening. Frankie enthusiastically brings an amazing, eclectic
mix to the airwaves. One ofthe reasons she's earned legions of loyal fans
is very simple. When you listento The Frankie Boyer Show, you just
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never know what's going to happen.So listen for yourself. Here is Frankie
Boyer and welcome. It is FrankieBoyer. This is a show that I
have been doing with Walter Woolf,the author of The Right Rehab, for
several months now, and we're justcalling it the Recovery Show. And because
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that's what it is. We haveconversations with people from all walks of life
talking about addiction. The insidiousness ofthis disease of addiction. It's an equal
opportunity problem. It affects everyone.Isn't anyone out there that is not affected,
in my opinion. And I waswatching one of the new television shows
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that premiered the other night and oneof the main characters is a professor and
he's also in recovery, and AAwas built into the into the show,
and I was so thrilled to seethat someone in recovery with long term recovery
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was being featured as the major starof the series. So it's exciting and
I'm hoping that from that Walter therewill bring more awareness of how powerful the
tools are out there and that thereis help and hope available more well as
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yet awareness. Yes, And also, Frankie, the number of people who
swear AA is absolutely remarkable. AAis so effective that after three years of
going to AA, over fifty percentof the people who started are still in
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AA. And if you know anythingabout statistics within their addiction and recovery world,
that's a heck of a good that'sa heck of a good number,
over fifty percent. And the peopleI know, most of the people I
know who are go to AA religiously, they say that they could not live
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without it. They could not livewithout it. So I hear. I
know people who say they don't likeAA. They don't they don't want to
do a twelve step program. AndFrankie, to be honest, sometimes that
tells me not all the time.But that tells me that that person just
isn't quite serious about recovery yet,not yet. So but AA is safe.
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So many lives, Frankie, somany people, absolutely, and a
lot of people are listening to thisprogram on our new affiliate, which is
a mental health news radio network,And I just want to acknowledge this incredible
platform for people of all walks oflife. And you know, we're talking
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about the issues that you write aboutin the Right Rehab and and for those
that are new to the program,and just to give us a real recap,
Walter, can you just share withus a little bit about the Right
Rehab and how you became involved withyour own personal story several several years ago.
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Please, but by all means,thank you. Raga. Thirteen years
ago, I was in the moviebusiness. I love my work, I
loved what I was doing. Iwas very lucky. Then I get that
sweet phone call that my son isin crisis due to addiction, and he
my wife, and I his mother, and I had absolutely not a clue
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about what to do. I knewnothing about addiction, I knew absolutely less
a lot less about recovery, abouttreatment. And before I was lucky because
my one of my best friends didknow. So long story short, my
son he got into got into rehab. It was a five year nightmare,
but he finally is in full,full blown, full time recovery. He
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has the greatest life that you couldever see, and I'm very proud of
him. But during this time,I started getting phone calls from people saying,
I heard about you and your son. I've got the same problem.
What the heck do I do?So I started helping people get into the
right rehab for them, because there'snoose such thing as one size fits all.
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And this is more into I'm nowa full time interventionist and full time
treatment placement specialist, and the RightRehab was a reaction to people coming to
me all the time, of course, and saying they don't know what to
do. And I wrote The RightRehab as a guide book, as a
user manual for people who have whoget that three am call and they have
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no idea what to do. Andfortunately I wrote the book and it's been
doing very very well, and Iget calls, Frankie, I get calls
from people all over the country.It's it's astounding, it's it's amazing what
people say Unfortunately, they're very complimentaryabout the book because it got them to
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understand what needs to be done.And it's something that I'm just so shocked,
Frankie that, you know, morebooks in this world have been written
about Lincoln Washington, Winston Churchill andthen addiction. But the amazing thing is
no books have been written about howto get treatment and what treatment is not
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one, Frankie, and that justastounds me. And so fortunately, I'm
very I'm happy people are reading thebook. I'm happy they're getting a lot
from it. All I can sayis I'm very fortunate that way, and
I love what I do. Loveit and it shows, it shows,
And Walter, I love what youhave on your website that there are over
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sixteen thousand drug and mental health programsin the United States. Can you name
the one right for you or aloved one. It's overwhelming and daunting at
best. And so as an interventionistand as my co partner and crime on
this program, I'm always so thrilledto have Walter Wolfe with us. And
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that's, by the way, nothis real name. It is the pen
name, but your real name isdifferent because of what you did in the
movie business, and so we keepit at that, and we have another
great story today, and I wantedus to talk with our guest for the
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hour, MICHAELA. Canterbury is whethershe's a writer and author and her story
and Michaela, you are a lawyer, but your law degree is not what
you're on here about today. Butyou are licensed to practice law in Alaska
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and as a trial attorney. Butyou are absolutely passionate about recovery. You
wrote a book called Sister Siren.It's a nonfiction about addiction, field guide
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on how to love an addict.And boy, not easy, is it?
MICHAELA. No, it's not hardto love an addict living up here.
And guys say, man, yougotta dress in layers. It's hard
to love addict and you gotta yougotta love it. Yeah, So yeah,
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I wrote my story to be stillerto to to Walter's and I wrote
a book about it because I couldn'tfind the rubric or the field guide on
how to step in with love ormy sister because I got called to.
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I got it in the afternoons frommy mother. But uh, and we
had a three year night air whenshe was in active addiction. So That's
basically what Sister Siren is about.It's about that three year nightmare and the
continually stepping in with us. Ididn't know any about addiction. I misd
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a hockey mom from Alaska that doesthe side hustle of being a trial lawyer.
And I didn't know what to do, and I couldn't find an expert.
I couldn't find anything. So Ijust kind of stumbled around and figured
it out. And that's that's whywe do this program, because we need
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to talk about the honest place thatso many of us have been in.
How do you deal with the addict? How do you deal with an active
addict? And what roads do youtake and how do you find solutions and
answers? And we need to getready for a break and MICHAELA give us
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the website as we go to break, please for you and your book.
Yeah, it's m K Canterbury,Canterbury like the Tails, like the town,
like the Archbishop, so c AN P E R b U R
Y n K Canterbury dot com Andthat's that's the website and you can get
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the book there. You can alsoget the book on Amazon and farms the
Noble but that's what it is.And Walters website is the Right Rehab dot
com and the book is called TheRight Rehab, which is available wherever books
are sold. We will be backin just a moment on our Recovery program.
This is Frankie Boyer. Stay tunedand welcome back to the Recovery Programmink,
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Frankie Boyer and my co host WalterWolf, the author of The Right
Rehab Walter and we're talking today toMICHAELA and MICHAELA Canterbury and she's an author,
a lawyer, a writer and theauthor of Sister Siren. And we'll
talk about the title and all ofthat in a moment. But Michaela,
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welcome back. And would you giveme a favor? And many people say,
well, why does someone become anADJECTID? You share with us a
little bit about that question. Yeah, good question, and is actually like
the first chapter in my book ishow did this happen? I come from
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a family of high functioning professionals.I'm a trial lawyer. My dad was
a trial lawyer, he's retired now. And my mom's a PhD. And
she was head of her department atUAA and she had a parallel profession of
delivering ded and English as a secondlanguage to our community. Graduated so many
people from her nonprofit, and mysister has advanced degrees in mental health and
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therapy in that in that community.And she was also an elite college athlete,
was invited to try out for aprofessional soccer team, but she chose
the education route and became a licensetherapist. So sometimes people question how a
family member becomes an addict, andwhat do you say to that question?
You know, it just strikes it'sso insiduous how addiction enters into the family.
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I mean it was operating and youknow, at at a level,
and we didn't know, and we'reI come from a small town where everybody
knows each other. I mean thecoaches didn't know, teachers didn't know,
communy pimmers didn't know. And itwas she's so much, so high functioning
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and west until it's like our phase. And also when you love one so
much, there's other explanations for thebehavior. That's that's as right, and
so we'll try. I want totalk about that because people think just because
they're functioning that they're not having anissue or a problem. How do you
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even address that, well, theway actually franky. Most of the time,
it addresses itself because most of thetime somebody can be high functioning for
a while, but eventually there's goingto be a train wreck. That's that's
been my experience, and I canalso say that my question to MICHAELA first
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question is is there any type ofaddiction in your family history at all?
You know, not that I wasaware of, however, I mean,
when I look back on things rightnow, but by the way, my
mother has Alzheimer's, and when Ilook back on things, I'm like,
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man, she didn't drink a lotof White's infantel, you know, but
I didn't. I didn't appreciate thatwhen I was a little one, you
know. Uh. And my sisterand I now talk about it. By
the way, my sister's in recoverynow, she's been in recovery for over
four four years since. We're reallyhappy about that. But my sister and
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I now talked, We're like,gosh, was mom and an alcoholic?
We didn't know, you know,because she too a high functioning PhD?
Most likely she was, and mostlikely she was also high functioning. I
mean, you can't you know,to be a PhD you gotta have a
lot of horses, you know,you gotta have a lot of horsepower to
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do that, and so she wasobviously high functioning. I have one question
for you also, is when youheard that from your mother, what was
the phone call that you made afterthat to my husband? And did you
all reach out to somebody that youknew who has had the same thing in
their family or somebody who was inrecovery themselves, because quite frankly, MICHAELA,
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I have no idea what the resourcesare like in Alaska. Well,
I was. Attorneys have this programcalled the Lawyer's Assistants Committee, and I
have served on the Lawyer's Assistant Committeebecause I'm a personal injury lawyer. So
I also would see like my clientsbecome addicted to opioids, you know,
and so that piqued my interests andI thought, you know, some of
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my colleagues actually succumb to addiction,you know, a as a life hack
for you know, their career.And so there's this wonderful program with far
associations across the nation that is therefor lawyers that have addiction issues, where
the family can call and they canget help and they're not going to be
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fearful that their license is going tobe you know, suspended or revoked or
anything. So anyway, I call. I then called a colleague on the
Lawyer's Assistance Committee and he pointed mein the direction of an interventionist, you're
you're very fortunate. And I mustsay that I have a lot of experience
with attorneys who need to go totreatment. And one of my very,
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very dearest friends is the executive directorof that type of organization. What he
is an attorney with one of thelargest states, most populated states in our
country. And believe me, they'revery busy and they are amazing in terms
of the help that they offer twoattorneys. It's wonderful. Yeah, And
that was kind of the big thingwith my sister is see, my sister's
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a licensed professional too, and allthrough her addiction, that was her biggest
concern, and there was no placefor her to go with her within her
profession, like a safe place.It was it was always like it was,
you know, I don't know,like they weren't playing on the same
team, like you'd want to helpeach other. And that's what's so beautiful
about the Lawyer's Assistance Committee. Isthat we're here to help you, your
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colleague. Ye, that feeling wasn'tthere for her? Was it alcohol and
drugs? MICHAELA. She was aheroine and methaddict. She had got addicted
to pain pain killers and then andthen she was also she was being given
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stuff for ADHD and it progressed fromthere. She did everything, Frankie,
she did everything. She did,Cocaine, she did, she did it
all and then it got into areally bad heroine and mess thing where she
really thought that she could toggle betweenthe two and manage it. Wow,
was criminal justice ever a part ofit? Was she ever in trouble with
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the you know, with with thelaw at all? Yeah? She her
her then husband would I mean,their relationship certainly started to crumble and and
he would call the police on herand get her arrested and thrown in jail.
And then I would be calling mymy, my public defender friends,
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and I would be showing up andto the court because you know, in
the course like Okay, who's yourclient, I'm like, yeah, no,
I'm not here for a client.But yeah, but the because her
because the reason she was in jailwas either for shoplifting or a domestic matter.
It never went to the wellness courts. I mean, my dad and
I ares and they're praying, OhGod, can they get her into treatment,
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can they get her into rehab?You know, But because of the
charges didn't involve drugs, could neverget her into a wellness court. So
I want to just mention something rightat this moment because I think it's for
me. It was so disturbing.I was watching one of the television major
television network the other night and oneof the hosts was talking to doctor Drew
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and the question came up, areyou sober if you're using ketamine, mushrooms,
psychedelics? And how can you havethe audacity to call that sobriety?
And there are a lot of peoplein this country that ketamine and plant medicine,
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psychedelics and mushrooms are saving their lives. And I think for anyone to
make fun of or to say thatthere that is not their sobriety does not
understand the entire addiction story. Andit saddens me that this is what we
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put up with and we've got totake a break. Well, you will
be back in a moment. WalterWolf is here the right Rehab and Mikaela
real quickly www dot mk Canterbury dotcom. We'll be right back. Frankie
boy Stud, Welcome back to theRecovery program. I'm Frankie Boyer. Walter
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Wolf is here the Right Rehab,The Right Rehab dot com. Check out
his website, check out his story. But he has tremendous resources and joining
us is also MICHAELA Canterbury. Andyou know, Michaela. Your book is
poignant, How to Love an Addict. It's it's so poignant and Sister Siren,
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and it's about your sister. Andwe're so thrilled that you're with us
today. But I want to goback to you know, and Walter helped
me out here because the sobriety thatyou have if you need to use ketamine
or you need to use magic mushrooms, so you need to be treated with
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a professional and a meta medical stafffor ayahuasca, whatever plant medicine, whatever
it is that you need to do. In my opinion, that's still recovery.
That is still sobriety. Well,you know what, I think it
all depends upon, first of all, the individual and if the individual is
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ingesting or using those substances under thedirection of a physician. Well, it's
it's really hard to say that thatperson is, you know, an addict
and just feeding an addiction, becauseif it's under talking about clinical PSI no,
no, no, no, I'mtalking about clinical use of these substances
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with the direction of a practitioner tohelp you in your recovery. That's what
I'm talking about. I'm talking aboutpeople that are so mentally fried from years
of addiction that if they need touse microdosing mushrooms, then so be it.
If it stops them from being anaddict and out of contro troll.
That's what I'm talking about, theclinical use of these substances. The clinical
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use, not just going out andtripping, because you're going to go trip.
I'm talking about clinical use though,no, no, that I'm I'm
on the same page as you,and you can also look at it from
the same point of view as somebodywith diabetes. That person has to take
medication to keep malady under control.You could say the same thing in this
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case as well, Frankie. There'san argument for that absolutely. Anyway,
I just wanted to make that thatthat we have to be open in the
field of addiction to all of thenewer modalities that doctor Peter Grispoon talks about
and writes about in all of hisworks as well. So I just had
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to I just had to say thatbecause it was just so upsetting for me
that there should be no judgment here. Whatever people need to do to get
into into wellness and sobriety has tohappen. I don't care what it is.
And if it's working for you,then you go for it. Same
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as heroin addics using methadone. Youknow, whatever it takes to get off
and to and to work it intoa program with professionals. That's that's my
that's my that's my mantra for theday. MICHAELA, how did how did
your sister, by the way,how did she find bottom? And you
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mentioned an interventionist. Was it asit down that we see on television that
she had to be confronted about heraddiction? Well, if you were talking
to my dad, he'd say thatthe intervention was it was my super is
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dang smart man. And she actuallyworked in a rehab facility as part of
her as part of her work asa as a therapist, and so she
never denied that she had an addictionproblem, and that was my biggest fear.
But she ran away from the intervention, and you know, thank goodness,
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she dropped my phone and I duckedher phone, and I wonder if
brought her back, and we alltalked with her, but she basically said
thanks, but no thanks. Igot this. And and then eventually,
oh several months later, maybe evena year ish, called us, called,
reached out to my dad, andshe did try rehab and she went.
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She quit three days before graduation.And she was just that because she's
she holds the same license and degreesthat the people at the rehab place.
It was an intensive outpatient program,and there was it was like trying to
fit a triangle into a circle.Uh you know those little those little games
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that babies have, and you gotto put the things in the in the
thing. She was like a triangleand couldn't couldn't get in there. And
I got a call She's like fifth, I'm checking out of here. I'm
checking out and they're violating HIPPA andthey're doing this and there was nothing I
could do. She's she's a grownwoman and can make these decisions and she's
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smart, and I didn't disagree withher. I'm like, you know,
I could feel that push me,pull you, tension and always being in
trouble and all that stuff. Shedid relapse after that, and you know,
we she eventually found a way.We were always there to support her.
We were trying to do this thingwhere we would support her but not
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enable her, which is a reallyrickety fence to kind of walk. And
she found what she then she youknow, to your point, she found
a way he had. She usesthe box phone and relies upon that.
And Mikaela Canterbury is with us,and her reception from Alaska is not the
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greatest today unfortunately, while we're tryingto figure out that connection. Walter,
It's very common for people to gointo rehab, to leave rehab, to
go back out, come back init, unfortunately. But that's just the
way recovery. It's the up anddowns of recovery, isn't it. Well,
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you have to consider when sixty percentof people who go to rehab relapse
within one year of discharge, rehabis a very common occurrence. What people
have to understand is that rehab isnot a failure of treatment. What it
is. It means that whatever wasworking before is not working right now.
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So then what the goal is isto find out what is it that that's
not working and then replace it withsomething else that will go with the flow
of somebody's recovery. Sometimes it meansgoing back to residential treatment. Most of
the time it doesn't. So relapseis very, very common, Frankie,
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and I will say that I haveknown people who have relapse six seven,
eight, nine, twelve times,but eventually that person does find recovery,
and it really is it's a personalissue where it's a balance between the medication
that one is taking in this caseof boxing, and also one's whole experience
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and attitude and feeling like I've hadenough of this. I've got to move
on with my life. So relapseis very common, but most people can
get through it, find out whatneeds to be tweak, and then keep
moving forward. Yes, and MICHAELA, how how long did it take for
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her to be out there after thatstent in rehab? Oh goodness, she
was probably out there about another feltlike ten years, but maybe it was
one. Okay, Yeah, itwas after her first attend and she relapsed
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and then she navigated her way toa program where she would check in with
a physician and she had she hadsome fentanyl in her system and the doctor
was like, you should be deadright now. And there was this this
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series of events that happened and herher the trap house she was living in,
she was assaulted, and then thisthis encounter with the doctor about fentanyl,
and she she tells us, shetells that she has a memory of
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life not being that way and thatlife could be better, and she was
in the house with people that shefelt didn't have that memory. And so
then that's when she reached out tous. And yeah, but now we're
over four years in recovery. Ittakes what it takes to make it work.
Yes it does, and it's notalways the same for everybody, Frankie
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the but the whole point of treatmentis this is that it teaches the individual
the tools in order to deal withsituations in which that person would ordinarily turn
to sub instances or some type ofa process addiction. But the end treatment
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that person evidence based treatment. Thatperson learns the tools in order to be
able to live a life, learnto live a life of sobriety and eventually
recovery. Now does it always meanresidential treatment. No, it does not.
It depends upon the individual the individual. Does that individual need that kind
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of intensity for a treatment and doesthat person have there have the resources for
it. But this is where atrade you have to take, a certified
license professional comes in and we haveto take a break. We have to
take a quick break. We'll beback in just a moment, wrapping this
whole thing up. So wonderful conversationwith MICHAELA Canterbury Sister Siren will find out
(30:52):
what that title means and Walter WolfThe Right Rehab dot Com State tune.
This is Frankie bian welcome back.It is Frankie Boyer the Recovery Program and
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Walter welcome back, Walter Wolf TheRight Rehab and michaela Canterbury Sister Siren.
And tell us about the title ofthe book and was your sister and your
family upset that you wrote this book? Oh no, I have the blessing
of my family. I my sisteractually wrote the prologue and my dad wrote
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the epilog. So yeah, SisterSiren is about my sister and our family's
journey and stepping in full title isa nonfiction Sister Siren, a nonfiction about
addiction of field guide on how tolove an addict. So I just share
the coping mechanisms I use to stepin with love to love her through this.
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It's and so I have the littlestories in there. I have a
glossary of terms. I always thoughtDC was Department of Corrections. Turns out
it's drug a choice. So Ilearned a lot. I'm just sharing everything
I learned on the journey. Youknow, what to do, what not
to do, and stuff like that. So prayers and poems and all that
jazz is in there. I'm sothrilled that you wrote this book, though,
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because I don't know too many booksout there from a sister's point of
view. Do you know of anywalter of a sister writing about that family
addiction? I do not, butI will say that I think what MICHAELA
has done is so needed and itdoes nothing but help other people who are
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in need, because it's, likeI say, Frankie, today, they're
eighty nine million people in our countrywho are suffering over the age twelve and
over who are suffering from either amental disorder and or substance you disorder.
So what MICHAELA has done is desperatelyneeded in our country. MICHAELA, what
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is the what did you as asibling, as someone who loves an attict,
what do you what do you sayand share to people today? Well?
Love it. Like as we discussedearlier, loving an addict is very
hard, and you've got to takecare of yourself first so you can step
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in with love with the attict thatyou love. And so it's it's taking
care of yourself so you can stepso you can step in and you have
that capability to step in with theattict you love. It's an unconditional love
kind of thing. And so beinga judge mcjudger about how they do their
recovery when you want their recovery morethan they do, then that that's a
(34:00):
red flag for me. That wasa red flag for me, still is
and that's an indicator. Oh,I gotta step back and I got to
love her from afar. She's gotto navigate this her own self. Doesn't
mean I'm not there. I'm justgiving her some space and I'm not telling
her what to do. Nobody likesto be told what to do, and
I'm not being a judge MC judger. And they'll be here. I will
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always be here. If you tripand you stumble and you fall, I'm
gonna be here. I'm not goingto judge you about it when And that's
great advice, Walter, isn't itreally great advice? It's it's fantastic advice.
And besides, I can only addone thing to what Michaela is saying,
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and that is often I will tellparents, I will tell loved ones
of the person who was terribly ill, that that person has an illness.
And I will frequently say, that'snot your sister, that's not your brother,
that's not your son, that's thedisease that's talking. And when that
person does become sober, it's amazinghow true that that is, and how
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that individual will say immediately it isso true. That wasn't me, That
wasn't me. Yeah, yeah,yeah, it's so true. It's so
true. Mikaela, we want tofix things. How is it? How
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difficult is it for you to sitback when you do you ever see red
flags and you say, oh,gosh, I hope we're not going down
that. Do you collect question?Even after four years, is she going
to be able to be solid inher recovery? Oh, of course I'm
human and my mother. You know, what Walter said is so fuigant because
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I learned through addiction to hate thedisease and love the person. And my
mother now suffers from all fimers thanmy dad has brain trauma. And so
I can I can do that.I can. I can always see my
family light. I can see mysisters and tradiction, I always saw her
(36:12):
light, and I could and thenI could also see the devil of addiction,
and so I that was such,that was such great insight. Walter,
thank you for that. But yeah, well you're You're more than welcome.
I can't say that that was mythought, but it's something that I
(36:32):
learned, and I will say Frankieas well, is that every person I
know who was in recovery. There'sa reason people will say one day at
a time. There's a reason forit because I am always telling people who
don't know that there's no such thingas a cure, and that is you
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have to use the tools that you'velearned to manage this disease so it doesn't
manage you any longer. But that'sa day at a time, and nobody
knows it more than the person whois in recovery and wants to stay in
recovery. That's why you are committedto doing what you do. Walter.
(37:14):
And MICHAELA, you have been sucha true vocal advocate for your sister's recovery.
I know that we just had NationalRecovery Month and I was talking with
you and you had just sent herflowers in honor of her four years of
sobriety, and that that is justso cool. Thank you. I also
(37:39):
sent flowers to her to the clinicsand the and the rehab places. I
mean, they were there, They'repart of the story there, and they're
stepping stones to her recovery. Andso that's something I do just to let
them know, Hey, you werein the game and you still are and
you're doing great work, and theyappreciate we absolutely. We are almost out
(38:04):
of time, and I'm so thrilledto have you both here today giving us
hope and sharing such private and suchimportant information. And MICHAELA give us the
website real Quick mk Canterbury dot comm K C A N P E R
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b U R Y. And thebook is called Sister Siren and Walter Wolf
The Right Rehab. The right rehabdot com. Once again, thank you,
thank you, another fabulous recovery program. Thanks so much Walter, and
thank all of you. This hasbeen Frankie boy or thanks for listening.
(38:46):
Make it a great day everybody,and as alway, smile for you face
with gladness between subsead, as allwill maybe ever sow here and it just
smile, help me ars and starsmile, and maybe tomorrow you'll see the
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light as still worth while if youtomorrow, but some more