Harken the Prodigal Son Returns!

This episode is a quick look behind the scenes of the Heavenly Mandate; observe as we record and develop our next season! Stay tuned for more fun, adventure, and pointless conversation about films.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hi everybody, This is justin thehoary Urchin, and before we start our
show, i'd like to remind youto like and subscribe to our podcast on
iTunes. Please give us a ranking, preferably all the stars, and give
us a view, preferably glowing.We'd also like to talk to all of
our listeners and answer any questions thatyou all might have, For example,
why do this or for what purpose? Or will Erica ever find love?

(00:23):
Well? Email us at the HeavenlyMandate all one word, the Heavenly Mandate
at gmail dot com. That's theHeavenly Mandate at gmail dot com. And
maybe you can be that special someoneEric has been looking for. Without further
ado, onto the show, weshould say we have a new member.

(00:59):
Yeah, and I'll just I'll disguisemy voice the weird There's only gonna be
like three people who don't even realizeit's the same voice. Alex. Did
you get a chance to watch myDirector of my Viewer commentary on Hybrid No?

(01:21):
I heard you guys doing some banterabout their reddit in your messages,
but I didn't. This is alljustin. I just I just provided him
with a video file he's obsessed withhybrid then he made a live audio commentary.
So I can't remember. Was thatyour first time watching it justin like

(01:42):
recently or had you seen it likein college. I had seen it very
early college, in late college,but it's been a good twenty years since
i've seen that. Yeah, yeah, it's awesome. Same here, I
think, I think same. Yeah, I don't even watch that film,

(02:02):
to be honest with you. Whenwas the last time you seen it,
Alex? Uh, probably Josh's openhouse, because didn't you have it going
to like a shop on the y. Yeah? Yeah, oh yeah,
it might have been. I forgotabout that. That was what twenty years
ago? That? Wow, thatwas your finest achievement up till that point.

(02:28):
It was still my achievement up tothis point. That movie, that's
not who's to say, I don'tknow. After aftery link at Alex,
you were my favorite part of thatmovie. So I only I remember two
things about that movie. My lineabout Jehovah's witnesses and then the weird like

(02:51):
cut from the school blowing up orwhatever, where you just like a scene
from another movie. Yeah, myfavorite part of that was running around the
school with fake firearms. Yeah,and in retrospect. That was not probably
that intelligent. It was fine.We had we have permission. We literally

(03:14):
went to the office and got permissionnot to have guns in the school.
We said, we said we're goingto We said, we are going to
film a video and we are goingto have water pistols disguised as real guns.
Did I didn't think we had anyI didn't think we had any permission?
Yeah I did. I was theproduc I was, yeah, we

(03:38):
did. We definitely got permission forsome things. I definitely remember pursuing that.
No, Like, I know,we went into the principal's office to
get permission. Office. I mean, I still I don't remember permission.
But this is the difference between thedirector and the producer. The director never

(03:58):
remembers any of the stuff. Getthe shots that you want, what are
you guys, Jehovah's witnesses, andthen Kellen's saying, try a gatt smart
ass. I also remember something else. Did we have to push a car
because we didn't we couldn't drive right? Yeah? Like so when did the
Yeah, we had to put it. We had to put We had to

(04:19):
put a Nick's car in neutral andpush it for a few scenes. I
believe why it goes it's going reallyslowly? So slow? Why Yeah,
we put it in neutral and twoof us were just I don't think anyone.
I don't think any of us hadour licenses at that point initially shot.
Then at the beginning of like sophomoreyear did but most of most of

(04:42):
it was when we were still likefifteen, so none of us have a
license. I think I commented aboutthat May Why are they slow rolling through
the neighborhood like that, you kid? But you know, it's really monitoring
very closely, really looking at thesehouses with the with the overhead light on

(05:05):
to make sure everyone can see you. Hey, look, here's this are
the bugs that have invaded are sowe all know that. Are you talking
about stink bug? Yeah? Here'sthey're they're an invading species. Yeah,
they're all over the place. Heretoo. Here he is he fell off

(05:26):
the camera, so he's literally onmy laptop right now, like being part
of the show. F y.If if you just throw them outside,
they follow their scent back in,so you gotta you gotta, you gotta
like flush him down the toilet.That's annoying. I'm a I'm still a

(05:47):
Buddhist in practice, I don't killit if I don't have to. It's
not doing it Buddhist at all.If you put it on a lot of
them, yeah, they really like, they really like but holes, like
if you, if you really wantto do right by this bug, you
would put it up your ass untilwe have not even started. Where are

(06:14):
they from? I think I thinkthey're from China or Japan. They're they're
they're not native to North America.Have you noticed how anytime there's an invasive
instinct, we just base it up. We just blame that anytime, no
matter what it is. Unfortunately,there are a lot of invasive species from
there, but I'm sure there arestuff from here over there that they are

(06:36):
blaming us for as well. Youare those Japanese beetles, Oh yeah,
like lady bugs. Yeah. I'mso excited. I'm so amped up that
Alex is here. I feel likewe've been back call you're a fucking naysayer

(06:58):
at number one. Alex totally provedyour he's here, He's sitting here.
That's one of the reasons why I'mhere is because I figure you guys,
I guess it was like he's neverso I'm like, and for that,
you're welcome justin because I may sayenough and then I crossed the opposite.

(07:19):
No, I'm so excited. I'mso happy you're begging. You're begging does
nothing? Yeah, yeah, that'sthat's the reverse psychology ship. Like,
come, I'm super excited. I'mvery happy. Uh and four years.

(07:41):
I cannot believe it's been four years. And I believe it's been four years.
Yeah, I remember when we usedto do this in like one o'clock
PM. Nobody had anything going on. Yeah, hey, yeah that felt
and it was fine. Weekly itwas like once a week two for a
while. Yeah. Oh, Ican't I can't believe we did once a

(08:01):
week. I still know how youguys find the time to do it at
all. Like you guys all havemore ship going out. I mean it's
uh, it's gotta it's gotten abit harder, but you know, it's
still fun to just, you know, hang out every a few weeks.
We only do it like once everytwo to three weeks now. Hey,

(08:24):
we take a long breaks, takelonger breaks. Yeah. Remember when Kellen
was like living in that van.We'd be recording and you'd see you'd see
McDonald's in the background. Oh,good old days. We need to the

(08:45):
pandemic is what we need. Yeah, I thrived during the pandemic. Dude,
that was did imps didn't really takeoff? Oh but you have to
you have to greet us in turn, I'm going back to the very first
episode. You can't change the formula. No, okay, okay, this

(09:09):
is exactly how it appeared on Alex'sfirst episode. Yeah, yeah, so
this is vintage all vintage episode.I got the warm fuzzies because Alex is
Uh. I'm gonna push back alittle bit. I thought that we didn't
start doing introductions until a couple oftimes into my Yeah, I think that
might be true as well. Idon't know. I don't know. Maybe

(09:33):
I could see either way. MaybeI think so your first episode was five
Elements Ninja. I think so,yeah, I believe I think that it
might have been. You might havebeen right. It might have been two
episodes or three episodes after that,but this would have been first because you
will yeah, because you only startedthe introduction style based on five Elements Ninja's

(09:54):
that time, came up with theformula for how we all got introduced.
Okay, So although maybe maybe I'mwrong, and both someone will pull like
the whole audio. Nobody's doing that. We don't have a producer still,
so no one's doing that even surehalf the time, if we're even listening

(10:16):
to the present episodes, my nameis my name is Justin the hoary urchin,
and I'm joined to Dave, butmy fellow wiseman, the drunken master
of the Deli's venom in the culturehero. Gentlemen, please introduce yourselves.

(10:37):
I mean, now that the episodes, now that the wait before the episode
still Melson, note that Justin isapparently wearing some sort of BMX biking jersey.
What is that? Actually, itlooks like a native BMX. What
is it like? Is it likea fish? It's definitely a fish.

(11:00):
You're out of focus there, yougo. Oh, no oh, let's
see very like Pacific Northwestern. Yeah, tiger's hat, which is good,
but the Tigers, well, Idon't see too many Tigers hats up here,
Porky. A lot of Yankees fansup here. That's a bummer.

(11:26):
You live in Connecticut there the Yankeesfans? Come on? Yeah, I
would say most people are Yankees fans. Red Sox you get some of that
too, but I would say thatwould predominant. Yeah, is it true
that Connecticut is not the sixth boroughof Manhattan? No, No, I'm
gonna say, just just from visiting, No, it's not. No,

(11:50):
I will say in uh, well, it's kind of like halfway down.
You generally have like the west theStates New York teams and then the eastern
half the state likes Boston teams,all right, because you're like parallel to
like Long Island runs halfway along theYeah, nobody likes the Jets. Nobody

(12:11):
likes the Mets. Nobody in NewYork. Nobody nobody. Okay, nobody
in New York likes the Jets.Anyways, that's a New Jersey team.
And the only people that like theMets are people from their borough or probably
Connecticut. I'm guessing, why whyare all these New York teams there?

(12:33):
Their names? I have no ideathat that's that? Yeah, who?
I always wondered who so much tocall it? J Z? Call jay
Z and tell them to do about? What are you saying? Who watches
the Mets? Never know who watchesthe watchers of the Mets. It never

(12:58):
makes sense to me? What's thatabout? The Mets. Are the Mets.
Are the Mets are the punks ofNew York or do they really draw
their Yeah, I know, likethe Rocks like the Mets to be a

(13:18):
part owner of the Mets. Sothere's like a celebrity base that I think
picks the Mets because the Yankees inthe punk version of New York. Yeah,
that's probably a fair assessment, Likethey're not like Hue the Yankees New
York the Mets. Mm hmm yeah, the low end New York. I

(13:41):
think it's that deserves so. Yeah, I know, I know plenty of
Mets supporters. I mean, theycertainly don't dominate, but and it's a
it's a lot harder to like getout to that stadium with public transport,
oddly as it's supposed to be.I'm sure you can get to Yankee Stadium

(14:01):
much easier. Yeah, you know, then the New Yankee City have like
the companies of seats like all over. Oh yeah, it's not cheap.
Yeah, city fields probably much cheaperto go to. I'm reading an article
from five thirty eight that says NewYork state has more Mets fans and actual

(14:24):
Yankee fans BSh. Like the wholestate collectively New York. If it's a
New York stage, maybe percentage oflike all the people who are New York
Yankees fans and all the people areNew York Mets fans, most of them
exist within the Mets fans mostly existwithin New York state. But then like
Yankees the case all over, makingthat could be the case. That's I'm

(14:48):
betting. I'm betting. Like yougenerally, you generally do not see like
Mets fans in Connecticut or New Jersey, probably in New York. Yeah,
yeah, but you see Yankees fanseverywhere for some reason, like because I
mean I've been in London. I'vebeen in London and Dublin ten times and

(15:09):
there's New York Yankees fans there,So geez classic, I will say,
they like Aaron Judge is cool.Like looking at the individual players, they
got some cool players, but they'rejust so like massive as an organization,
difficult to like as a team,you know. Yeah, it's like loving

(15:31):
Manchester United. They got a bigteam, but like they don't have that
like corporatization, you know, toas much, you know, as much
as the stadium is much more affordable, and it's like right in the middle

(15:54):
of the city kind of Yeah,yeah, I mean those those are there's
not a lot. There's not alot of Tigers fan. I've seen more
Lions apparel. Yeah yeah, ohyeah, we know, we know the

(16:17):
whole idea. We're the top five, the whole idea like fair Weather Lions
and absolutely I want to confess something. This is my first season watching from
beginning to end. But I'm Weatherfan. Yeah, I don't know,
ye first game. You can't be. You can't be a Fairweather fan if

(16:37):
you live in like the the statewhere the team is like by definition,
like you can't be You're called that'scalled a default fan rather than a fair
fan. It doesn't mean you watchanything. Your heart has been broken so
many times, you can't watch frombeginning to yea, Yeah, it's just

(17:00):
being realistic about romance. Like afterthey win, after they went I didn't
they they went defeated completely that oneseason where like they won no games.
I don't think I watched another Lionsgame more than season since this most recent
season. Yeah, this is likethe first season where every game I watched

(17:21):
like you were, like you reallythought they could win, Like there wasn't
a SCE and Holy Ship. Mostof them they did that was a conference.
Most of them they pulled the funoff. They either won or they
came close to winning, right Like, it was either they were except for
the Philadelphia one or whatever. OrBaltimore Baltimore bout. Yeah that game sucked.

(17:44):
It was Baltimore was a bad game. Yeah, Baltimore was a fucking
bad game. But everybody gets abad game still. Yeah. The thing
is, we're so used to havingso many of them. It feels scared
when you do well and then youhave one bad one and you feel like
maybe the gods fucked us. Justyou're so blurred out, man, just

(18:10):
like I thought you disappeared from theNo, he's got he's got the background
like blur on. So it's fulland full in. Are you ready for
the scale? Yeah, yeah,let's snow. We have a scale still
the original, still the originals.So I am drinking the exact same room

(18:32):
I had back. Yeah, it'slike the same bottle because I don't really
drink that much. So it's I'mcalled hand away Filipino rum. So good.
Yeah, it's really really good.I cannot believe you've made a laugh
that long. I know, it'ssitting like on my shelf for the past
however many years. I'm like,I should have some more to drink today,

(18:53):
like something to drink, and thenI don't do it because like I'm
like, eh, you know,was it expensive? Yeah, it's like
probably seven year eighty bucks a bottlefor a fifth seriously, Yeah, but
it's so good. It's it's likethe best room I've probably ever had.
It's called hand away t A Nd U A y okay look at it.

(19:17):
Yeah, and it's the one Ihave is sixteen blended with five year
old rum. Oh wow, it'sreally really smooth. It like that.
Boy. Yeah, Alex was tellingme it's the same bottle that he he
had last time. Yeah, yeah, I remember. The rum is the

(19:37):
deal for you? Yeah, AndI'm it's this is my last sip.
Right here, you guys are encounteringthe last sip from that bottle. Whoa
last sip from the current bottle Ihave? What do you have? Kellen?
Is it that beer? No?No, I've got some rye whiskey
from my buddy's place, Ski Works, New Holland Distilling. Oh over here

(19:59):
over on the west side before liquor, Look bitch, you want to talk
about this. No, that's nota rule, that's something that that's something
that amateurs say, something that isnot true. I have heard it's true,

(20:23):
not true. But also I wastelling you before liquor, wine,
before beer this bullship. Yeah,I think there is something to that.
But anyway, there is something thatbeing said for not getting drunk on light
liquor or light beer and then switchingto heavy because you won't register the difference.

(20:44):
That's where that all. I thinkthat's part of the reason. But
don't don't get drunk on beer andthen switch the liquor because you will not
realize how drunk you're getting because you'realready there. There is if they're going
to run a scientific experiment, andthat I would like to be in.
I've also found that if you mixwine with other stuff, it's usually bad.

(21:06):
Oh I've never done that, solike I do with grain or fruit
based, but like try to stickwith that. So Kellen're you're postulating that
it is because you don't understand thealcohol content relative to each other. You're
already drunk. I always thought itwas beer and liquor different kinds of alcohols,

(21:26):
and they bother each other inside yourOkay, I believe on several counts
tonight we're gonna have to call joshIn on metal. So like, if
you're doing if you're doing the lighter, if you're doing the lighter alcoholic drinks
later, you've already broken the seal, so you're constantly going to the bathroom,
So like that prevents you from drinkingas fast? Is that a real

(21:48):
thing, John, the breaking theseal? But like as you get,
as you get into it, likeyou're frequently going right to take this once
you're over three, you're PI allthe time, regardless when you're drinking,
So who fucking cares? That's whyyou just got a cat know where the

(22:11):
restroom is. Don't strain your justjust don't. There's no charostically, there's
no seal like that's there's also medicallynot anything that Justin ever says. Oh
but did anybody else think when uhBatista bronze body ripped the throat out?

(22:38):
Obviously we've got automatic road roadhouse.Oh yeah, his s his his servant.
His servant literally leaves the roadhouse togo fetch him, and then he
comes back, it's like and ripsout his throat That's one movie that I
wish Alex would watch with us.I would have loved to watch The Roadhouse

(22:59):
with that one Alex. I havenot, But I want to watch the
New Jill all One exactly. I'mgoing to And I also pitched it for
this episode. So don't worry,We're gonna do it. Not gonna be
maybe anything is going to be good, It's not gonna be as good.
O. Wait, wait did wewhen we did the original Roadhouse? Was

(23:23):
it the three of us? Orwas it just you and me? The
three of us? I love that. One of the things that we've lost
since Alex has left it has beenthe random, pointless scales that we do
all the time. Yeah, becausethey were almost always Alex's sales to wait
in on nothing else? Yeah,so uh, Alex. That that and

(23:52):
the occasional justin Mary Kill challenge.We can only select among men. I
know there is there's a woman inthis one. Yes, I mean for
the Kardashians or anyone else out there. They know they're providing no value to

(24:15):
society. Okay, this is holdon. Kim is a lawyer now,
so he is not? No,she passed I think so no, no,
no, no, no, No, we need to wait. We
need Erica to confirm this because Joshand Erica have a standing, So,

(24:41):
Alex, you cannot weigh in,Sorry, not weigh in. They have
to confirm this about themselves. Now, that is not accurate. She passed
the mini bar. We've talked aboutthis, We already know this. Going
back to so Kardashian has not attendedlaw school. She's pursuing a path coming

(25:06):
to lawyer. Throw an alternative route. No, no, reading is reading?
I don't know. I cut off. I don't defice to say I
have not lost this bet, norwill I ever seriously have a bet?
Yeah? Okay, justin, Yeahthey do. I'm gonna be so pissed.

(25:30):
There's no real Kardashian should have alaw degree. She won't. Don't
worry. You're not gonna get pissedabout this. Do we wait? Do
we even wait? Do we evencover we covered? Did we cover even

(25:51):
a single Mortal Combat movie? Wedid? Yeah? We did one,
the original World Combat Okay, whichwas hilarious. That was the one that
was my first reduction to the Maryfuck Kill thing? Correct? Correct?
What, Alex? Yeah, Ican't remember that? Wait? What?
Yeah? You ful it? WasJohnny Cage. No, I married Johnny

(26:21):
Cage. I married Johnny Cage inthe night fo Sonya and then you kill
Goro. No, it was Bluethat I killed, but I left that
off. Okay, Oh man,I go back to everybody else, back
to the movie's point. For somereason, the detail I remember more than

(26:42):
anything else is Justin's fixation on thatguy slabbing all over like Sony he did.
It was such a white, viscousslabery. Maybe awkward. I could
be wrong. I think we lostKelly. I think you've quit and rage

(27:03):
he was getting plumbs. Well,that kame Kardashian talk. He arguing with
Alex tu or not that is true. I'd love to this debate Spawn's personalities.
Whenever Josh and someone new Gid comesinto a room, it turns cambat

(27:27):
and then I get heated. She'llnever do it. Did I ever tell
you, guys? When when Iwas in Rwanda, I went on the
gorilla trek and one of the oneof the people on the Gorilla trek with
me was one of the producers ofKeeping Up for the Card. Yes,
I remember that. It took alot of my ability not to comment break

(27:52):
him to no end. Wow,oh man, just remember this. You
had the opportunity to push him intoLion's mouths. You could have ended it
right there was this was it atthe beginning of the show. We're kind

(28:17):
towards the end. No, he'snear the end. He was transitioning to
other reality TV shows, just spreadingjoy elsewhere. He was spreading his seed
elsewhere. That's called infection. Howdo you feel about the climax the film's

(28:38):
final fight scenes? Well, okay, oh, we're gonna talk about the
movie again. Okay, one twopalms straight up. O boy boy,

(29:08):
Oh my god.