HollingsWorthless Program Ep. 282

Tyler takes a DNA test and there's some surprises! Jay's special is coming out and Carlos has us watch a comedian deal with a heckler.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What do you want to say something about your show?

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I shot on myself in the womb.

Speaker 3 (00:06):
Stop Phil, you fucking stink.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
You know what? Fuck this.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Because it's Hollings worth but it's worth less.

Speaker 4 (00:18):
I don't want to hear about whatever you have to say,
the worthless of the week.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
You're just gonna sit up there the whole time, Phil,
Fox Scorpion. It's a move man, you fucking dummy. Then
what the fuck? House of Race? Black people? Shoot me? Now?

(00:46):
What up? Everybody want ume to Hollings with this program,
I one of your host Big I J. Hollings with that.
As usual, we have the Huligoons, the goon Squad, the
usual suspects, Three of a Kind, trips, three men, no baby,
shout out Baby Mile is Manuelist Martin, the three Musketeers,
just the three of us, threes company, No mister Fairley
starting with is the co co co host call him

(01:11):
part time famous, full time bunny Carlos Anthony. I just
noticed it looks like I got to George Jefferson and
certainly not least the DEI member of the group aka
Chief Green Cloud A Kahio What am I smoking? A

(01:34):
ka we the aka pot of Hot mess aka Chief
Spin and Ball. They definitely will be calling him the
box checker mad. They say he's uncancellable mad. Uh. Today,
I'm not racist, Tyler, don't call me Joseph Smith where that. Yes,

(01:55):
we have a great one today because we actually before
I say it, it's your thing, Tyler, let me just
I want to give a quick shout out, really quick too. Uh.
I was in San Diego this last weekend. Carlos didn't
want to go. I invited him. Yo.

Speaker 1 (02:20):
No.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
I was at Mike Drop Comedy club in San Diego,
and they have two rooms at Mike Drop. They have
the main room and then the side room. And I
was in the side room. It was I was just
there for one night or but I wanted to go
out there because I mean, it was Valentine's Day weekend,
and my buddy Kot was in town, and my buddy

(02:41):
Hillary was in town, and they're like some of my
closest people in comedy. What up Bs Jeffrey and so
I Cott's only in town for a little bit of time.
So I scheduled this so I could go out there
and hang with all of them. Anyways, the show that room,
that side room is if you want to see the

(03:02):
side room. Check out Stoner Rob's special on Laugh After Dark.
It was filmed there, and I'm I'm jealous that he
filmed a special there. I was telling Hillary this because
that fucking room hums. Like it's low ceiling. It's there there,
it's just packed. It was sold out. The show was
sold out, so it's like, it just it fucking just hums.

(03:26):
I'm actually gonna use that clip like or that set.
If somebody says, can you send us like a forty
five minute set that we can see, I'll be like,
here you go. I'm just gonna use that. Are you
in fucking the void Carlos Space? Yeah, it's a it's

(03:47):
a but it's it's just I mean, everybody involved with
Mike Drop, I love their their family to me, from
Hillary to Casey too, you know, I mean, I just
I love all of them. So, uh, I just want
to shout out Mike Drop Comedy Club in San Diego.
They have Mike Drop Mania in Arizona, and they have
Mike Drop in Plano, Texas. So if you ever get

(04:08):
a chance to go see a show, go see it
there or see me there when I'm coming there. Hopefully,
Carlos will want to come this time, maybe you want
to come this last time. But anyways, and.

Speaker 5 (04:20):
As you know, I mentioned at the beginning that Carlos,
I mean Tyler will be the definitely will be the
box checker and our DEI because he had, well, do
you tell it, Tyler, it's your thing, you tell it,
share it with everyone.

Speaker 1 (04:38):
So you know how I told you all this stuff
about my heritage.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
And Native American. You said you're Native Americans.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Percentage and we found out so my mom did like
a family tree and that's how we have like this
Native American in our family tree. And I'm like, okay, cool,
always been told this whole life. Anyways, excited to reveal
the results live here.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Is this your first time seeing them or.

Speaker 1 (05:14):
No? But I can pretend.

Speaker 2 (05:17):
It'd be crazy. Okay, so let me let me blow
you up all right?

Speaker 1 (05:22):
There you go, zero to one percent. I'm Baltic, which
is like Estonia. I guess.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
I would have thought you'd be more Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 1 (05:41):
Zero one percent Northern African. Okay, Hey, looks like I'll
be checking another box on tail on to be part
of I'm excited to be part of the barbecue.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
Salad do not. Oh sh.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
Uh. Three percent cornwall.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
Is a cornwall? What the fuck?

Speaker 6 (06:23):
It sounds like one of your racist games.

Speaker 1 (06:29):
I had to look this up too, because I'm like,
I don't even know what the cornwall is. Cornwall is
that tiny part on the bottom of the UK right there?
Oh okay, yeah, you know, good old Cornwall region. Anyways,
no excitement there. But how about this? Five percent Irish? Jay,

(06:53):
look at that welcome.

Speaker 2 (06:55):
Welcome, You're another another island boy.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Okay, I'm gonna get some kiss me. I'm five percent Irish, sure,
nine percent Scottish. Kind of surprised by that, thought it
was gonna be a little bit more. We do have
a lot of Scottish stuff in my family. Ten percent Denmark.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
I'm huge hole by microphone. Stand as fucked right now? Anyways,
all right, wait, nine percent Scottish. What was the next one?

Speaker 1 (07:27):
Ten percent Denmark? Ten percent Danish. I had no idea
this is this one's a surprise to me. Did not
know the great thing, shouldn't known a big Viking guy.
I guess you know. I always thought the Nordic legends
hold some sort of you know, hold on my heart.

(07:48):
Maybe this is why calling I feel like it's these
pagan rituals. They seem so familiar to me. Anyways. Twelve
percent England and Northwestern Europe.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
Boo England, which a lot of conflict there, Scottish, Irish
and England.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
I know.

Speaker 2 (08:11):
It's well, it's all over the place.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Northern Europe. This does mean like Belgian, France, Germany, Netherlands, Switzerland,
so it could be just that general area, but as
you can see from this map, just that little part
of a place anyways, Germanic Europe, so German.

Speaker 2 (08:33):
Interesting.

Speaker 1 (08:35):
And then Central Eastern Europe, which is Czech which I
was pretty sure that I was going to be a
big chunk check. But that's the entire percentage I got there.
And you might have noticed zero Native American, not even

(08:56):
a zero to one. I got more African than Native American.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Oh fuck, and that wasn't I can't see that.

Speaker 6 (09:08):
Northern Africa, that's what one percent?

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Zer to one percent? Northern Africa?

Speaker 2 (09:15):
Just special. You learn something new every day.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Isn't that fun?

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Like that?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
This could be uh Algeria, Libya, Morocco.

Speaker 2 (09:24):
Okay, that part of Africa, Okay.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
That part, that part, what's with this part of Africa?

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Okay?

Speaker 6 (09:36):
That's that's that's so it's the top of your your
schedule there and that's more Northern European.

Speaker 2 (09:43):
Carlos, can we I mean, I know I'm an outsider,
but can my my two my two African American brothers.
Can you guys not over?

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Like yeah, the conflict already begins, Carlos.

Speaker 2 (10:01):
Stop between my brothers. Hilarious. Hilarious. Carlos is like hilarious.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
I just fight it. Interesting but all right, fun.

Speaker 2 (10:14):
Uh, apparently I have some Nigerian on my maternal grandfather's side.
He would not be pleased. Oh man, how long did
it take you?

Speaker 6 (10:25):
What you did the swab and then you send it
in and then how long does it take for this
for this whole process beginning to end?

Speaker 1 (10:33):
So I think I submitted it like January fifth, like
pretty early on, just a few days after Christmas. But
it was kind of interesting because some of this stuff
is like they're telling me that my I'm a New
England settler, which is true. I didn't know that they

(10:56):
could pinpoint that.

Speaker 2 (10:57):
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (11:00):
So then they got some traits, which was pretty interesting.
The only thing that I thought was kind of cool, uh,
is they have unlikely to enjoy cilantro, And that's very true.
I think cilantro is disgusting.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
Wow, it breaks down what you'd like to eat.

Speaker 1 (11:19):
Yeah, yeah, like alcohol flesh. I definitely get red fleshness
from drinking alcohol. Able to spell asparagus metabolites. I'm guessing
that means like you can smell asparagus after you eat
it in your peak? Can you guys not do that?

Speaker 2 (11:36):
I don't know, because I don't need asparagus. Come on,
you know me? You know me, Tyler.

Speaker 1 (11:46):
Unlikely to enjoy dancing. That is my white ancestry.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Didn't cut me in and did it? Didn't come in there.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
I did not come in there, Jesus. But yeah, ring
finger is longer than index. That's true. That's kind of cool.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
Interesting it is too. Uh. The other thing I always
wonder it doesn't say or it wasn't the first human?
Didn't it? They traced the first human was a woman
from Africa? Wasn't it a black woman from Africa? Isn't

(12:30):
that right? I believe that that it's correct. So then
I mean, we'll all have like a point something at least, right,
We'll go get the twenty three and me and let's
find out.

Speaker 1 (12:41):
Nah, you know not everybody is like I'm.

Speaker 2 (12:45):
Looking at it now, I'm looking at it.

Speaker 1 (12:46):
Well, my buddy, now we looked at his and he's
he's half Vietnamese, half Irish, half like Irish English and
then zero Africa and so.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Well, excuse me. Uh, I would love for you to
take another one, Tyler from somebody else, because uh, there's
a video on YouTube there's two women that are identical
twins and they did a bunch of these and like
ones from even the same like company, they would have

(13:22):
conflicting ship and it should be identical because they're identical twins.
Because there was I gotta find the video and I'll
send it to you guys. But it was interesting because
I was like.

Speaker 1 (13:31):
Another one right here, dog, Yeah, yeah, this one's for
a different company that I got.

Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, that'd be that would be interesting. Angel has one
that she she wants to do one. But after I
saw that, I was like, fuck, I fuck all that.
I'm like, I mean, my my grandmother put together this
book where it's like, uh, like it goes back on
one side of my family, on my dad's side, like
where the Haullingsworth's came over. There was a dude named

(14:01):
Valentine Hollingsworth, like in the I think in the late
sixteen hundreds that he came over from he was in
Northern Ireland, where as my buddy Ray would say we
were Protty's Protestants or he was a Protty. And then uh,
on my mom's side, my grandfather came over from Ireland. Uh,

(14:21):
and he was not a protty fucking But it's just
it's interesting, like all that shit. It's so crazy. Uh,
you have no Native American this whole time. I got
to change your whole fucking intro.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
I know, dude. That's why I brought it up because
I feel like I feel like a fraud.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
I feel like.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
I had no idea this hard time the whole My
family's been telling me for years and years, my whole
life that we have Native American in US.

Speaker 6 (14:51):
Well, now we got to wait for the other tests
to come back to see now, Yeah, to see how
how it unfolds on the other side, because it might
come back, would dudeen percent nat of America? Yeah, it
will be weird and that drastic of a difference.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
But hey, African Viking, I'll take it.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
African Viking, it are you gonna? Are you gonna do
it on Carlos. I'm talking about it. I'm looking at it.
I will see. I'll send you that that video and
you can, you know, see if you still want to
after that. All Right, we got a clip we were
gonna go over. We didn't get to it last time.

(15:32):
So this is a clip of a comic losing her ship.
Because okay, let me bring this up. Hold on one moment.
This is it's long, and so this uh, this comic
I believe is Dayton a buddy of mine, a guy. Yeah,

(15:53):
but I don't, I don't, I don't know. I've I've
seen this clip, but I've never seen her stand up,
all right, I never knew who she was other than
that she was Dayton Dan. Okay, let me see how
I share this. Let's see. Have you seen this, tyler?

Speaker 1 (16:13):
Is this a stand up clip of a lady and
she has a bit of a meltdown?

Speaker 2 (16:20):
Yep?

Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah yeah, I think yeah, sent me in the group.
I pre watched this.

Speaker 2 (16:26):
Okay, all right, you guys can see this, right, yeah,
all right, let's play this bad boy? Oh wait, oh
fucking sorry, can you hear it?

Speaker 1 (16:41):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (16:42):
Down just a little bit, because I know how loud
this video gets.

Speaker 7 (16:58):
Look at you, so.

Speaker 2 (17:10):
Tell me when you want me to posit, if you
want me to posit, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
Sorry for our listeners. We're watching a video clip of
a female stand up comedian who was doing some crowd work.
Seemed like she was having some fun. Sounded like the
room was on her side. Sounds like it was a
good time.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Yeah, she was in the video that it was all
sold out shows.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Mm hmm, she's got Yeah. I know I've seen this
Chicks stuff before, so I know she probably sells out rooms.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
I'm guessing. All right, here we go. It's a we
got another two minutes.

Speaker 7 (17:45):
It's like I felt like I fends like it is
such a hard time in this world right now.

Speaker 8 (17:58):
They're together, important and amazing, and you're putting negative.

Speaker 7 (18:03):
No, you're putting negative out here.

Speaker 8 (18:07):
This is the last one of the last it's a
soul show and you want to say mean ship to me. Okay,
don't do.

Speaker 4 (18:22):
That, all right, wait we'll come back, all right.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Uh so, God, I can't I can't help but cringe
so hard when I see that? Is that not like
I know that a lot of the comments are like
go go girl, But to be bro, it's like you
lost it. You lost it, and that was a fucking

(18:53):
cringe moment.

Speaker 2 (18:54):
Bro Okay, let's hold on me speak to that.

Speaker 6 (18:58):
It's we live in such a society where everybody believes,
well the majority of people believe that. Hey man, we
have to always applaud this, this type of behavior.

Speaker 2 (19:08):
No, the fuck you don't this. I'm with you, Dyler.
She lost it, she lost it, But go on, yeah,
and I'll give my thoughts here in a sec.

Speaker 1 (19:18):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
It's something I've talked to Carlos about here. I'll tell
you in this second. All right, let's finish up.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
Like he's gone, oh.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, we got like a minute left, Natalie, Natalie, you
can okay, so if you're just listening to it, So

(19:55):
she told the first guy he can leave, and then
she said do which I guess he did. And then
she said to the friend, you can leave too. I
won't be offended, and then just grabbed his phone. But
let me say it, like at this point when she
said to her the friend, you can leave too, she's
back to being like light, you know, like it's it's

(20:16):
it's like a different set almost, you know what I mean.
Mm hmm. Okay, let's finish there's a pretty five seconds left,
so she just grabbed the guy's phone. The friend's phone.
She's smiling, laughing reading.

Speaker 8 (20:33):
It would.

Speaker 7 (20:39):
Especially for a comedian.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
She's smiling, she's taking a picture. I think she takes
a picture. Yeah, takes a picture of her flipping the bird.
And then she's smiling though and like and then gave
it back to the guy and she's like laughing. That's it, okay,

(21:04):
so let me come back, all right, So what happen Natasha?
We just watched the video of a lady comic, comedian
Natalie losing it, I guess on stage. So I've told
Carlos this, so I'm trying to look at it from
all sides, Like, I mean, her audience was with her,

(21:28):
Like she didn't lose the audience because they I mean,
we as comics, we know that like in another room,
she might have lost the whole audience, but that is one.

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Like she was in her room, Like that's clearly her crowd.
They're fucking cheering her name. So yeah, I mean she Yeah,
I guess.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
Now again I don't I don't know her, but I
think she's been doing it for a long time. And
like I said, I think she was on tour with
Dan for a while. They might still be I don't know,
but I was gonna say, uh so for people that
are listening to this that are not comics or comedians,
which probably almost everybody h when you're on stage and

(22:15):
you get a heckle, like I can't tell you the
fucking amount of high wire walking and multitasking that's happening
in fucking rapid fire in your head, like because you're
you're in the middle of your set, probably you're you're
doing a joke. It sounded like she was just talking
with the crowd. I don't know, but and then they

(22:36):
they say something and you're now you're you're halting whatever
bit you're in, and you're thinking about what did they
just say, and there's multiple options of how you can
handle it, like you can like I This is what
I was going to say, is that I've always told Carlos, like,
if I'm tired, I go mean pretty quick, or I
get angry, and I don't really keep it light as

(23:00):
Carla's knows. If I'm rested, if I'm in a good
like if I've had a good night's sleep, I can
probably I feel like I'm confident in any scenario, I
can keep it light and also a deal with the heckler,
so giving her the benefit of the doubt. The doubt
as a comic, I don't know if if because that
was like angry immediately, and I don't know if you know,

(23:22):
who knows what was going on in her day or whatever.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
But oh yeah, dude, but that went from like zero
to one hundred so fast with her. Like that type
of a breakdown and response I think is acceptable from
like a stripper, but head up comedian, it just doesn't
feel like it's I mean, she didn't make it funny.

(23:46):
She just had a meltdown.

Speaker 6 (23:48):
Yeah, guess what happened From what I remember On the
front part of the video, she guess tried to to
insinuate that these two dudes were together and that they won't.
So that's why the dude responded, He was like, what
makes you think we're together? And so that's how that
manter went back and forth. So she initiated the conversation

(24:08):
with them. He just didn't say anything that we know
of based off the video we saw, and he didn't
just start talking to her. And then that's when you
hear him say, well, you're not gonna be the only
one that's up here roasting people. So again, the fact
that he said that lets me know that she was
roasting other people before then, so he's like, nah, well
not the buck stops here. And so she fucking lost

(24:29):
it because she didn't have anything to say to that,
to that man.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Other than fucking look at me, get out of here
with that mess. Man.

Speaker 6 (24:37):
That irritated me because you lost it. You fucking lost it.

Speaker 2 (24:42):
Yeah, And I mean if you're you know, if you're
throwing it out there, if you're engaging the crowd or
going into the crowd, then yeah, you gotta be ready
for a response, especially if you're I don't again, we
don't know what she was doing before, but if you're
roasting people, then yeah, people are gonna go back. I
mean they're gonna fucking come back.

Speaker 6 (25:04):
It's fair game now. So you can't get mad when
the when the roasty roast you.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
And we didn't.

Speaker 6 (25:10):
Again, we didn't see anything that he said to her
that that would have solicited that type of response, right,
So yeah, I just yeah, it was to be there.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
If you're a heckler, you might warrant being screamed at moddler.
If you're upsetting the performer.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
It's it's a trip. Because uh, somebody was asking me
where was I it was in I wonder if it
was when we were at the Comedy Catch Carlos. I
don't know if it was there or the but somebody
was at I think it might have been in the
Comedy Catch and Danielle I think was asking us about
or asking, yeah, asking us about the table on the farm,

(25:52):
like if you're on stage on the far right, and like, oh,
were they okay or do you want you know as
as I think maybe while you were on stage. She
asked me, like, you know, if I want to police
him or whatever, and I told her, which is true.
I don't think I've ever kicked somebody out of a
show like I've had where people would will say like, oh,
if you want us to kick them out, say oh,

(26:13):
you should get a coffee. That's like a code. A
lot of comedy clubs will be like, oh, this guy
needs some coffee, and that's code to get them the
fuck out. But I'm trying. I don't think i've ever
I've never kicked somebody out. I've I've had people that
have left on their own accord because I just fucking
went in on them. It's hardcore, and then they chose
to leave. But it's it's almost like a pride thing

(26:36):
with me, where I'm not going to kick you out,
I'll fucking I might destroy you, or we can go
back and forth. What up kool aids in here? What up?
Alex and almost miserable people on Earth?

Speaker 1 (26:50):
I had I was featuring for a a I feel
weird saying a female comic, but but on the subject
of a female comedia losing it or just a regular comedian.
This was just both happened to be female.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
That you don't have that Native American blood you're trying
not to get canceled.

Speaker 1 (27:16):
I just I feel like I.

Speaker 2 (27:17):
Just say that unless you're transitioning, then you can go crazy.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Damn it all of the Anyways, So this comedian, she
was headlining, and she kicked somebody out of the room
and then like was screaming, I'm not going to start
until that person's gone, and they like waited for security
to come up. And this person was like on the
upper floor in the Tacoma Comedy Club, so they like

(27:53):
security had to come up the stairs, grab the guy,
take him down the stairs, through the back and out
the door, and then she find we started up again,
and I was like, damn, dude, like I don't know
how we're going to get back to laughter in this room.
Like this was ten minutes into the show.

Speaker 2 (28:12):
And I should let me say also, I don't knock anybody.
I'm for me. I just I think like a mental
thing or a pride thing. It's almost like a like
a fighting fight or flight type thing with me where
it's like I I will not I will won't kick
you out. I'll fucking destroy you with wit or you know,
like going back and forth. What up Sandy, we're talking

(28:32):
about uh comic kind of lost it on stage and
dealing with Heckler's. But I don't knock any comedian that
that kick somebody out. You know, everybody handles things differently.
Like George Carlin was was kind of famous for like
he would kick you out, and he wouldn't he wouldn't
really make it funny. It was just like get the

(28:53):
fuck out, you know, get out. And uh so I
don't you know, I don't have an issue with anybody
kicking any you know, who they feel is a distraction
and and kicking somebody out. It was just the fucking screaming,
look at me, look at me, and then it just
was It's crazy though, that she she didn't lose the audience.

(29:15):
I mean, as as much as she went off, she
didn't lose her audience.

Speaker 6 (29:19):
I mean, it is her audience, but that part right there,
that's it's her audience. Had had they been in a
random place where nobody really knew her like that, I
think that would have been completely.

Speaker 2 (29:31):
Different, because the audience can turn on you quickly too.

Speaker 6 (29:34):
To be like, well, ship we not I mean, don't
don't do that. We we're here to have a good time.
We understand this person maybe out of pocket, but don't
do that. So I don't have to be It had
to be an extreme situation where someone is completely disrupting
the show for for me to be like, you got

(29:55):
to get them out of here, because now now it's
disrupting the floor of the show. But again, as professionals,
we got to be able to do to either one
or two things. Either one, stay out the crowd. If
you're not if the crowd work, able to do CrowdWork,
stay out the crowd so that well, you don't have
these situations or to man up or woman up and
learn how to work the crowd in no situations or

(30:18):
they them up. Well, however you want to put it.

Speaker 2 (30:24):
Sandy said, Ah, Jay, you take heckling greater than I've
ever seen, and I'd be wanting to fight people before you.
I appreciate that. Yeah, it's I mean, I think it.
I think this comedian though, Natalie, I think she came
up in New York because Dan's out in New York
and I don't know. Again, I don't know a lot

(30:44):
about the the comic, but I mean coming up in Boston,
I mean dealing with it like people just I mean,
you're just you gotta just roll with the ship. You
deal with you know, at these fucking open mics and
like it was that fucking quay and you're like.

Speaker 6 (31:01):
That woman grew up in New York and she she
does not represent New York well because the New Yorkers
have a sense to go hard uh in in situations
like that. So yeah, she she ain't a true New York.

Speaker 2 (31:16):
Yeah, the only thing I can, like I said, again,
we don't know what's going on. I mean, fuck, she
could have been like or she could be like I
just you know, my fucking somebody just in my family
just passed right before the set. I you know, you
never know. And and like I said, I'll tell Carlos
like fuck, if I'm tired, I won't keep it as

(31:36):
light and laughy. You know, It's more like I'll kind
of be mean. Carlos is open mic is not tonight,
Sandy said. If you don't like what you see, either
sit there with your straight face and take it, or
walk out as an audience. Yeah, yes, Jeffrey, I've never

(31:58):
had problems with Eckler's. I comes in handy sometimes. Crazy Cutie,
what up? Crazy? Said Bars? Yeah, I I remember there
was a comic what Tyler? I can't he's a guy
that he's a long shoreman in Seattle does comedy. Yes,

(32:18):
Jesse were we were doing the fucking shitty a shitty
gig in rent In one time. I don't know if
you were there, Tyler, but like everybody, there was every distraction.
You can imagine that people are playing pool, there's games on.
I think it might have been an open mic. It
wasn't even a show. But fucking Jesse just goes up
because nobody's listening. He just starts yelling screaming in the mic,

(32:44):
just to scream. He just starts going in fucking tears.
He just kept doing that over and over. That was
his whole set, and I was just like, I get
it sometimes.

Speaker 1 (32:57):
That's oh yeah, I love that.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
Oh all right, let me Uh I had on here.
Oh Jesus, I just fucking took everything off my screen. Okay,
Uh yeah, I want to do I'm my I got
an album coming out finally, this and this album or
this special has been through a lot of life. Yeah,

(33:26):
you know, I do what it can, Sandy said. Jay
remembers that crackhead that came before him at Mike dropping Chandler. Uh,
we were all ready to pull the Sandman. Oh I'm
trying to Oh, I remember, I know who you're talking about.
I know who you're talking about, Sandy. She did a
guest spot. Uh that's right, okay, I remember. All right,

(33:48):
I can tell you guys afterwards. Anyways, I wanted to
tell you about this special because this is like, fuck
four years in the making. Maybe yeah, yeah about so,
I about five years ago, coming out of the pandemic,
I was approached by I won't say the originals, just

(34:11):
because you know, just for so we don't have drama,
but there was. There was a comedy club chain that
contacted me asked me if I wanted to do a
special with them. They told me, yeah, we have our
own record label and so, and they were like, would
you that be something you're interested in? And so I

(34:34):
hit them back. I was like, I would be interested,
but I want a special. I don't want just an album, right,
And so they said, oh we can, Yeah, we can
do a special. We can get it up on Amazon Prime,
blah blah blah, great, let's do it. So they they said, okay,
we'll give us your veil, your your weekend's you're free.
I send them all that. They're like, cool, we got

(34:54):
you a weekend in Saint Louis that you'll record your special.
And I'm like, okay, I'm not. I don't know it was.
It was like interesting choice. Originally I was telling him
maybe something on the East Coast, but I was like, okay, cool,
Saint Louis. I don't enough. Yeah, I don't know anybody
in Saint Louis. But so I'm definitely not gonna be
a draw there. But what they did is they set

(35:16):
it up to where I would feature for the weekend
and then on Sunday I would headline the show, but
they would record all my sets through the weekend. Right.
I was like, all right, cool, it sounds good. And
I had also told him I wanted to I had
friends coming in and so I wanted to get like
some b roll at like an Irish bar or Irish pub,

(35:38):
you know, us hanging out whatever. Yeah, we can do that,
no problem. Okay. I get there Thursday at this club
and that Thursday night show. The guy the headline I'm
with has a pretty popular podcast. For whatever reason, this
Thursday show was not packed. It was like it was
maybe twenty five percent. The room is full, right, manager says, hey,

(36:04):
just to give your heads up and the set expectations. Uh,
this is our highest selling show of the weekend. I go,
what Soo's Thursday? Yeah, and and and it's twenty five
percent full. And then he follows that up by saying, yeah,
so just let any let everybody know. We'll give them

(36:24):
free tickets. I'm like, who the fuck is everybody? I'm
not from here, I don't fucking know anybody. So I
called to hear more my buddy to hear who is
an amazing comic who's from Saint Louis, And I was
like to hear, would you please host my special taping?

(36:44):
You know, I'll pay you all that blah blah blah,
and he, luckily, he said yeah, and I told him
the deal and he's like, we're on it. So I'm
telling everybody, I fucking the The one of my Uber
drivers came to my taping. So Sunday comes, so the
the weekend, and this guy's audience was not my audience.
It was like a very woke type audience, like a

(37:07):
Portland audience, Portland, Oregon audience. Tyler, Yeah, so fucking not
my audience at all. But I you know, I did
all those and so I'm I'm definitely in my head
like this is all gonna be on Sunday. I gotta
hope that, you know, me and Ti here can get
some people out. So for the b role, we're gonna

(37:29):
find that film that Sunday during the day. Like Ryan
Cott came in, who runs a bunch of the New
England clubs, Sean came in, Phil Fox came in, a
bunch of people came in right and uh and uh,
Sunday comes and we're gonna film the b roll in
an Irish pub, right. Well, the guy that told me
that there was an ey that there's all kinds of

(37:51):
Irish pubs. Oh yeah, I couldn't find one, but my
buddy owns a pizza joint, and I'm like, okay, So
we go to this pizza joint and we filmed some
horse shit. What it is? What is? Oh? Also this
they were They originally promised me, oh yeah, we have
these high def cameras, it'll be a three camera shoot.

(38:12):
It was a two camera shoot. And so the the
pub that was horse shit. We do the we we
the Night of My Special or whatever, and it's gonna
be just one, one take, one show. So if anything
goes wrong, we're fucked. Right, we do or then the
we We get there for the show and it somehow

(38:34):
we've packed it out. It is fucking packed, right, So
I'm like, okay, so that the the that's good. We're
good there. I do the show and you know, to
hear fucking sets the sets the plate, you know, sets
the table, not the plate sets the table. Does what
he does. He's fucking the best. And uh, I go
up and I have like, you know, how you get

(38:56):
done with a set and you'll be like, oh, I
could have changed this maybe or done this. I literally
might have had like a perfect for me. I get
a standing ovation of people that don't know who the
fuck I am. It was great, right, so hell yeah.
So months go by the or the guy leaves and
as he's leaving, he's like, Okay, that's great. Yeah, we'll

(39:17):
get we'll be in contact with you. Months go by,
h to where now I think we could film this
in May? And it's December and I get an email
or no. I actually I talked to Kelsey from Laugh
After Dark and I was telling her, yeah, I filmed
the special. I haven't heard from him, you know, I'm
trying to get it up on Prime. And she tells me.
She goes, hey, just this heads up. Amazon has changed

(39:40):
like how you submit, so I don't know if they
they're aware of this, blah blah blah. So I email
the guy. I'm like, hey, haven't heard from you since May,
but I'm I got I got some music, some royalty
free Irish music we can use. And I was just
told that they're changing the Amazon Prime submittal process and
so just we're going to give your head up. Cool.

(40:01):
Gets back to me like a month later. Oh yeah,
we can't submit it to Amazon Prime and uh. And
then he's like, we can give you the footage if
you want, and like all this, and I was so pissed.
I was like, I don't want it. I was like,
I'm done, I don't want it. And so I was
just like, fuck it that. It's a waste of everything,

(40:24):
waste of time, money, all that shit. Right. Flash forward
a couple of years later. Yeah, about two years ago.
I'm talking to Kott Ryan Coott, who's a good buddy
of mine and also happens to I mean, he was
there the first time I ever went on stage and uh,
and he runs all the Boston clubs and manages my

(40:46):
my home club. We we did have a contract, but
it didn't matter. I appreciate that, Natalie, but fuck him.
So so I'm talking to Cot about it and I
tell him, you know that I know I want to
I want to get this material out and and you know,
never do it again. So he's like, we will film

(41:07):
it at one of our clubs in Boston. I think
it was Beverly actually, but Sot this club off Cabot.
So we do it. We uh, we did two shows.
And Corey Rodriguez, who's an amazing comic in Boston, he
also filmed two shows. So we both were doing two shows.
Very happy with a great now and he and caught

(41:27):
set expectations for me up front. He's like, yeah, we were,
we're getting we're putting our toe into you know, like
film and specials. But it's he's like, I have a team,
it won't cost you anything out of pocket, and it
will be multi camera shoot, which it was I think
it was three or four HD cameras. But he's like,
this isn't like we don't have a team that does specials.

(41:50):
So we will film it and we can edit it
for you and and get it out there and everything,
but it won't be like a quick turnaround. And I
was like, I'm cool with that. You know, you've said
expect agent's cool. So did that and then, uh, you know,
that was like two years ago. And and they, I mean,
they're like Cott's got so much shit on his plate

(42:12):
that he was like, I can still have my our
guys edit it, but it's it's gonna take a while,
or I can give you the footage and this and that,
And I was like I was talking to Sean O,
our buddy Sean, and I was like, maybe I could
have Sean, dude. I was like, just send me this stuff.
I'm gonna try and cut this because this is getting
so long. Uh long story short. Talking to Laugh after Dark,
who I love Kelsey and Rob shout out to Laugh

(42:33):
after Dark and uh, they're they're now producing the editing
the special and they're they were working with Kott because
everybody's all of us are all friends and good and
uh there. I just talked to him today. The album
is going to be released on Saint Patrick's Day this year,
so in like four weeks. Uh, and it's gonna be

(42:56):
I can't decide if it's gonna be called Green Monster
or Big Green Mom. I also was thinking I could
call it nice, I could call it before and then
call my next special Special after Before and after, because
I'm fat as fuck in this. It's me at my
my big weight. But the the album is going to

(43:17):
come out on Saint Patrick's Day, March seventeenth, which is
a Monday. Thank you, congratulations, thank you, and then what
up yo yo are? And then the the special, the footage,
the video, however you want to say, It is going
to be March twenty eighth, So and Laugh after Dark

(43:37):
has been pretty good about when they release albums on iTunes,
It's gone number one, So if everybody could participate in
maybe March seventeenth, really appreciate. I don't like the fucking

(43:58):
but I'm yeah, I'm I'll be happy to get rid
of this material. And uh, I'm proud of the proud
of the set, proud of the special. And there's also
you'll see footage of me. We I have footage of
the first time I ever went on stage, and my
buddy Scotty Lombardo is the person that brought me up
way back in two thousand and eight, and he also

(44:20):
brings me up in the special. So I'm going to
have footage of first time I ever went on stage
and then transitioning to my current So it's pretty pretty
excited for it all. It's going to be, like Carlos is,
where we can support the project financially. Yeah. The the
best way what up javon h The best way to

(44:40):
support literally is just if you can buy the album
when it released seventeenth. I think it's going to be
what was What was yours? Carlos was like ten bucks
on Yeah, I think it was like it w wasn't
it wasn't cost all. Yeah, And I think I'm going
to try and drive everybody if if you are nice
enough to purchase it, I'm gonna ask everybody do it

(45:01):
on iTunes, so hopefully we can get it to one.
You know, that's the fuck it will be okay, thanks, See,
I love Carlos, is my my fucking my positive. He read,
he reads all the stuff and I get it. I
get it, you know, from him. So yeah, that's all.
I'm done talking about that. It's a long winded story,

(45:25):
but this is like four years in the and ups
and downs, and I was still so pissed about that
fucking Saint Louis one fuck anyways.

Speaker 6 (45:37):
At this one now, so hey man, listen, congratulations from
us and the crew. A man, let's let's go and
push that number one. It's gonna push that thing and
number one. Let's go, bro, literally just one.

Speaker 2 (45:55):
That's like, yeah, I appreciate that too, because we're talking
about the album. So I'm gonna get one view on
the album, not the video.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
I'll look at it in the store.

Speaker 2 (46:10):
Be put right back on the show. Alack. There's Jai
all right that we have a hair mega death. Oh Sandy,
you missed it too. At the beginning, Tyler has no
Native American bloody did a d.

Speaker 7 (46:29):
N A.

Speaker 1 (46:32):
Deal so robbed of my heritage that you have headdress
right off of me.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
Now you have to.

Speaker 6 (46:45):
Yeah no, Now you're gonna have to cut your long
hair or get a perm either one that.

Speaker 2 (46:53):
Yeah, no, not joking. Chavon he uh he had we
talked about at the beginning of show. He's what zero
point one percent black? Was that, right, Tyler? One percent?
I'm gonna give them the one's northern Northern Africa.

Speaker 1 (47:09):
Yeah, Northern African. We thought it was a Native American,
but it's North African. We were so.

Speaker 2 (47:20):
Close, Yeah, very close. Tsha said, you've been false flagging
your whole life. This doesn't bode well for the marketing.
Slurred speech. Yeah, and then once he once he told
us to Sandy. He said he's looking forward though, to

(47:42):
being able to say the N word.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
Right, Tyler, I'm just happy to be at the barbecue.
I didn't say that.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
You canceled for what what?

Speaker 6 (47:51):
What do you bring it to the barbecue towns as
a resident black here?

Speaker 2 (47:55):
What do you, what do you bring it to the barbecue?

Speaker 1 (47:58):
You know, I'll bring bread. I've been making sour doughs.
Does that do we not bring loads of bread.

Speaker 2 (48:05):
To the.

Speaker 6 (48:07):
We we's a black delegation. We don't look for the
briand they don't have one barbecue. I've been to him
and like, you know what that fucking brilland.

Speaker 1 (48:19):
Dang, well, hey, this is this is the Northern African.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
Love it. If Tyler's like Carlos, please don't tell me
about my Northern African when I look.

Speaker 1 (48:32):
Up my heritage and we're gonna come back with some
new filters next week.

Speaker 2 (48:37):
No biscuits, don't bring bread, I mean. And he also,
you're how much Irish? What was it? Five percent percent Irish?
So you can bring potatoes to our fucking cookout? Oh god,
oh thank you Ireland Northern Yeah, Hawaiian roll. This is hilarious.

(49:00):
Oh fuck, all right.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Uh yeah, this is so shocking.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
I know, I got to write a whole new intro
for you final we.

Speaker 1 (49:09):
Think something new, Yeah, to really incorporate Germany and check
that's apparently what I am sixty percent of right there.

Speaker 2 (49:17):
The Native American was a bounced check all right, yeah,
you'll bring buns not not red. Yeah, yeah, that's more
like it.

Speaker 6 (49:30):
But did you use some bread and we can use
put that on the hamburger, So yeah, you can do that.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
Good calls.

Speaker 1 (49:36):
Learn how to make buns.

Speaker 2 (49:39):
You can make the buns. I mean, you can make
the buns.

Speaker 6 (49:41):
We just don't want no salad though, or nothing like that.

Speaker 2 (49:43):
And that white ship that's sour.

Speaker 6 (49:47):
White white briand no, although the white brand doesn't do
good with real so I'm just.

Speaker 2 (49:53):
Saying, I mean the Irish.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
I was trying to make something else, trying to make
French moose this weekend, which is like it's eggs and
chocolate and like whipped cream. It's basically what it is.
But you take egg yolks, you mix that into chocolate,
and then you take the egg whites and you beat

(50:16):
them until they peak and you get like these nice
like like it's what you make a meringue out of.
It's like a stiff white peaks out of the egg whites.
And I could not get them to fucking peak. So
I just kept adding sugar, like maybe I just keep
adding sugar, they'll finally like turn white and get big,
but they just did not, and it's just turned into
the syrup. And I had the worst, the worst French

(50:41):
moose here. It tastes like it does. It tastes fine,
but the texture is like sand.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
It's like.

Speaker 1 (50:50):
It's like, yeah, it's only like moose that fell on
the sand beach.

Speaker 2 (50:53):
But anyway else, Well, let's.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
Try to stip out of the bread game.

Speaker 2 (50:57):
But I gotta go back to it, you know, bread game.
I want some bread when I come up there, I
want some of your fresh bread. All right, let's do
our plugs and kick rocks, Carlos, what do you got? Uh? Thursday,
I'm in Lake Havasu, Arizona. Headline and a Cocomoa comedy showed,

(51:17):
and I'm at plane at thirteen after that, and then
Jimmy Kimmel's Pachanga laugh Boston. It's all coming up hard
time famous dot com. All right, dang, I keep cutting out, Tyler.
What do you got?

Speaker 1 (51:32):
This weekend? I'm in Spokane with my man Mike Koletta.
Come on through four PM show at the Comedy Club.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
I love Mikey and I will. This weekend, I'm in Tempi, Arizona.
I'm actually I moved a week Excuse me. I was
supposed to be in Santa Beel, Florida, Florida, but that
got rescheduled excuse me. And so this weekend I will
be in Tempe, Arizona feature for the very funny Delay.

(52:02):
Who's yeah, I'm going to feature for Delay. I hit
up Timbi Improv and I was like, hey, I know
Delay of the and I need some work. So they
were like, cool, uh, next weekend in Phoenix. What I
had to pull up in Phoenix on this?

Speaker 6 (52:20):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (52:21):
Next week I'll be in Sacramento on the twenty eighth
at Laughs Unlimited featuring, and then Sacramento on okay, March first,
Saturday at three god damn this fucking Mike threweo PM.
I'm doing a comedy camp storytelling like teaching a class
on how to do storytelling in comedy. And then that

(52:44):
night I'll be in Corning, California at Rolling Hills Casino.
Some cities coming up, I'm just gonna rattle them off
to Mechila, Boston, Boise, Santa bel West, Jordan, Utah, Philadelphia, Avenel,
New Jersey, Saint Paul, Minnesota. So just go to Big
irishja dot com for tickets and then until next week,

(53:07):
God damn piece of shit. Sorry until next week. Thank
you everybody for tuning in. I am opening up for delay.
Yes Sandy, uh until next week. I love you all
and bye. If you if a person fucking listens to
this till the end, you deserve a prize. Your prize

(53:31):
is to go to iTunes and rate a review. This
podcast given five stars. You motherfuckers.

Speaker 9 (53:39):
Fucking say something nice, you Fox, right now, you motherfuckers
this fucking piece of ship. For five years, I'm averaging
about two fucking reviews a year.

Speaker 7 (53:59):
Go.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Fuck, I can write some mother fuckers.

Speaker 1 (54:03):
Oh fuck, that is the realest time I've ever heard you.

Speaker 2 (54:07):
Yeah do what the fuck