March 13, 2025 • 49 mins
The fellas talk Tyler's family taking DNA tests, comedy camp and performing "impaired"
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
What do you want to say something about your show?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I shot on myself in the womb.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Stop Phil, you fucking stink.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You know what? Fuck this.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Because it's hollings Worth, but it's worth less.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
I don't want to hear about whatever you have to say,
the worstless of the week.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You're just gonna sit up there the whole time, Phil,
Fox Scorpion.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
It's a move man, you fucking dummy.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Then what the fuck? House of Race Black People show?
Shoot me now?
Speaker 6 (00:47):
What time? Everybody walking in to the hallings Red Thisss program.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
One of your host big usually.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
The Hooligans, the Gun Squad, the usual Suspects, Three of
a Kind, Trip, three Men, No Baby, three Musketeers, the
three Threes Company, No mister Fairley. Starting with you've seen
him on Amazon Prime. He's the host with the most
part time famous, full time funny Carlos.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And what's happening in these streets?
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Oh you like this? And last but not least, we
have the d e. I'm not native.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
They call him the one box checker. They call him uncanceled.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Man. Hey, I'm not racist. I can't be. I'm black, Tyler.
Don't call me Joseph Smith.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Ah, that's great. I like that taking thank you for
using my new credentials, respect.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Your respecting your new found origin.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Yeah, or maybe would you do you prefer d E
I'm not native or d E I'm black?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
One of those here?
Speaker 5 (02:06):
I'm sorry, I should I should I not be in
this conversation with you and Tyler?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah you can, won't you get the funk out?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
Dude?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I gotta I have a follow up to the DNA
testing from last Did you do the other one? No?
Oh no, I haven't got no, no, no, but my parents
did their test results? Oh no, uh so my parents
when they tested, they got back different results than me,
(02:36):
like neither one of them.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Wait wait before, don't okay, hold on because this I want,
I want all of this. But for anybody that's just
coming in right now. So what they need to know
is our our good buddy Tyler, who we love so much,
and he for the longest had told us that as
his understanding, he had been told by his family that
(03:01):
they were that.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
He was part native.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
So we always would you know, joking and play that up,
that he's he's like the box checker. He would check
all the boxes and then he did a DNA test
and found out he has no Native American in him,
and uh he was what was it, one percent black?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Uh? North African?
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Okay, that's right, there we go, Okay, that's right. Sorry, okay,
so you're African American?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Gotcha? All right?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
So I'm sorry, I want to make sure I got
the right terms.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Is that north just North African? It is from the.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Other side the difference apparently.
Speaker 6 (03:45):
So I went shout out to Victoria in the chat.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
Okay, So with all that, Victoria, Uh yeah, on the
last episode, he got his DNA test results and we're
going to have him.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
He's going to do another one too.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
But okay, so Tyler, you said your parents took a
DNA test.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Right, so found out one percent North African. And then
we looked at my parents results and which were like
a lot different than mine, which was a little bit
kind of interesting. So like both of my parents were
like way more Scottish than I am. Both say what there?
Speaker 6 (04:27):
What was your what'd your milkman look like?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Hell, let me get to that.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Hell the horses, man, I'm trying to tell the story.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I'm trying to tell his story. So my dad's results
came in and uh, his were like pretty similar. We
had all the same things, only he had like Romanian
and I didn't have that for some reason. And then uh,
my mom's results came back and her was like really
(05:01):
close to mine too, but she had Swedish which I
didn't have. And then we're looking at both of them
kryd of like compare, and neither one of them had
North Africa. Neither one was North African whatever zero percent.
So I think my mom cheated on my dad with
(05:25):
a one percent African American man or probably two percent,
probably two percent.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Coming together. Now it's all coming to and now did
they do the same company for the DNA testing?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
That they did the same company, And then the company
definitely sends me a message going like hey, you have
a new family member and both my it was like
your mom, this is probably your mom and this is
probably your dad. So like at least they know that
we're related. But yeah, it turns out I'm not. I
don't think I'm one percent North African. I think it
(05:59):
might have been an air. It was probably an Air
and they say on their website you could get an
air up to one percent. So seeing that both of
my parents don't have it, I guess that I don't.
I guess I'm not black at all.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
No, I get that car back off all for you,
black car back off of you?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Thank you, sir. Yeah? And can you can you put
a return decender on the invite? Right?
Speaker 7 (06:29):
Yeah, we done it. I've done it officially. I just
hit the button oning it. No, they keep your raisin
salad or whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Raisin salad, the reasons ranch on it.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
What a bummer, man, What a bummer.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
But here's the question, though, we weren't on last week,
So how did it feel to be black for two weeks?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
That's right? I was very liberal with certain words.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
What else is new?
Speaker 5 (07:03):
What else is NEWT shout out to Patrick Milton or
it may be him.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
Nobody likes onions as Patrick Milton.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
But it said I stopped watching the show for a
few months, and you just swap black guys out.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
Wow are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (07:18):
We just turned out I'm not actually black?
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Are you gonna take the other two different.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Types of whites? Yeah? Yeah, I got one just sitting
right here, So I'll probably take it to and just
see what happens.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Oh my god, I'm so curious what that's going to
come back with?
Speaker 7 (07:37):
That comes back with North Africa. That shit will be
fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's like, we're pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
He actually messed up on the other end. Maybe related
to Musk.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Could be he's South African.
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Though, okay, maybe he was visiting North.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I mean he's got what is he have? Twelve kids?
Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Thirteen? But one's dead?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
What?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Wow? He had a kid die from kids?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Oh mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
But I mean, like you have not all your kids
are going to make it if you have that many kids,
like just statistically speaking, but uh, they're all like almost
all of his kids by the way, our test tube
kids really, they're almost all artificial insemination.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Well that sounds about right with Hill. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Fucking weird, isn't it. That's weird.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I don't have the time for this. My secretary is
going to send you a package. Shit on it.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
My package. Wow. Uh.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
This last weekend I was in uh Sacramento at Last
Unlimited for their comedy camp.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Raining to be a comedian.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I'm still still trying, man, trying to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You know, people know that you have to put in
a few hours of school every year to keep your
comedy card.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It was.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
It was so for people that don't know.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
So there's the big Pine Comedy Festival, and then they
have like little satellite comedy camps.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Uh so they have one in Sacramento.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
I think they're doing one in Plano, Texas, and then
they have San Diego and then Arizona. But I did
a class on storytelling, and I'll be it was my
first time, you know, doing a teaching one of those
seminars or whatever at the at one of the comedy camps,
(09:53):
and I was nervous. I was nervous beforehand because I'm
you know, there's so many I mean, you know how
we are as comics. There's so much shit that goes
your head like are these comics gonna be like who
the fuck is?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Why is he teaching this? You know?
Speaker 5 (10:04):
Or and in my own like, you know, I hope,
I hope people get something out of this and I'm
not just wasting my time in theirs. But it ended
up being good, Like the feedback from everybody that was
there was really really good. So and I actually want
to do it again because I I see where I
can improve and like cut certain ship and everything.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
But it was it was fun. It was pretty dope
and uh.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
And then I did a casino and I did a
casino in uh Corning on Saturday, Rolling Hills Casino. But uh,
there's this comic on there that he Uh, I'm meeting
him and he was very funny.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
But he literally had one tooth.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
In his mouth and the only one literally like this
like one little thing. I believe that one. So and
I text you this, didn't I Carlo?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
You told me, Yeah, you told me.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Only two.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
You have a beautiful smile. No, but so and this
and the one tooth like stuck out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So he had a buck tooth. But I I had
text Carlos.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
And I was like, I don't know, I don't know
if he's like, if it's from meth or what. And
then he's on stage talking about how he has a
disease called I wrote it down blue rubber bleb Mevus syndrome. Wow,
And I felt awful. But he talks about it all.
(11:39):
Did you look this up to see if that's valid? Yeah,
I'm here. I I just did right now. It says
it's a rare genetic disorder that causes abnormal blood vessels
or blebs to appear on the skin and internal organs.
The blebs can be purple and how a rubbery texture.
(12:01):
And he was saying, he was talking about that there's
there's two kinds. One that is like on the outside
like so he had like a bump, like a lump
on the on the side of his finger and uh.
And then he has like an internal He has like
two of them, like the two worst and uh. And
(12:22):
then I felt bad because I had like been like this,
he's got one teeth. But he fuck, he was very
funny and crushed it. He was he was featuring and hosted.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Did he do really well though? Like honestly, no, he did.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
He did good? Like it was. It was crazy because.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Did he do good for a regular comic or did
he do good for a gomic with one too.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Like me because he can't talk very well. Uh he didn't.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Amazing for a comic that has blue rubber blad Neva syndrome.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
He killed it. But uh no, he was.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
Him and the host were both very funny and and
like it was a It was actually a great show.
Was this the whole room was I guess it was
sold out?
Speaker 7 (13:08):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I mean it was filled the whole room.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
Was there's wasn't an empty seat, and then host went
up ripped it and then he the feature went up,
and I was I was, honestly, I was like nervous
because again I was thinking that it was from meth.
So I was like, is this like guy like a
current drug addict or a former drug addict or what.
And then he's up there and uh and he would
like he talked about that and and he he did great.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And then I went up and did my thing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And there is this comic in town here who I
think had like drug addictions or something. But he had
like a little bit of a meth mouth, a little
bit of meth mouth, you know, just to eminem just
I think he had a he had a funked up girl.
He it was anyways, yeah and eminem if you will.
(14:00):
But uh, he ended up getting all of his teeth
extracted and then got like dentures or whatever. But for
the month in between the dentures and the teeth pulling, dude,
he still did comedy. And I was like, bro, you like, honestly,
(14:22):
you make me feel bad because I don't think I
like comedy or would do it through this right now,
like especially if you like, like I might quit comedy
if I lost my teeth and there was no like
and I couldn't get more teeth. I'm sorry, but I
probably fucking quit. I'm like that shallow. I'd be out.
I'd be out the fucking door. I don't know if
(14:44):
I can come back. You just like nobody would be
able to understand you anyways.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
You just have to, like you have to cover your mouth.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I'll wear a COVID mask the whole time.
Speaker 7 (14:53):
Yeah, wearing a COVID mask.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I'm not this liberal, I'm not this paranoid. I'm just ugly.
But it would sound so you know, your voice would change,
like how you deliver things. Think you're like the noise
is coming out of your mouth. Everything would change. You
would have to like address it. But anyway, that's crazy.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
You could say, like, oh, I have like a rare
disease that I.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Have to be careful. That's why I'm wearing the mask,
and then just never get off.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, with the mask on. So, uh, they're doing like
this this comedy show, and uh that Dube went on stage,
he did his set, and then somebody else went on
stage after him, and he was like in the back
hanging out with the other comics. Uh, and this comic
told me the story, and I thought it was so
fucking funny. She's so mean, this female comic. The toothless
(15:52):
guy says to the female, I can't believe this guy's
on stage right now wearing shorts. How disgraceful. She just goes, bro,
you have no tea.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Like what he's wearing shorts and you're not wearing tea.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
That's so brutal, did he say? I think he just
got hired. Broken, but the confidence to leave your house,
I don't know if I could do it? Could you
do that? Could you just keep going like you can
bounce back? You want to just be like, all right,
I'm gonna go get a job working at Walmart being
a I wouldn't even be a greeter.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, exactly, like.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Exactly. You want me to go back to my job
where everybody smiles.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I feel bad for these folks. So, yeah, you know
your features.
Speaker 6 (17:10):
It sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
It sounds like you really broke up.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Out the window.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Since I found out in one hundred way, you're just
totally embracing it. Next you'll have.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Maga hat on.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
I I would like, hypothetically, I would still be doing comedy.
I'd have to write the best joke I ever read
wrote to address that, and then so that they don't
focus on that, and it would have to be my
opener so I can get it all the way immediately.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, there's no way they're gonna forget about it.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Five minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
It's got to be the whole thing. It'll be your
whole act.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
I mean you you talking like this where you cover
everything up.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Hey, it's like your your jaw gets so much, like
your teeth adds so much structure your face Without it,
it just shrinks in and you get that bitter beer face, dude,
and like your lips would be smacking every time you
opened up.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It would be like, ah, there's no way. I don't
know if I could do it. I don't know if
I could do it.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
Okay, So here here's a and this might take you
a second. I know for me, Uh, what was there
a time that Oh I already I think I might know,
Carlos is I was gonna say where you had to
perform with you know, with something that's got you off
your game, so to speak, Whether it's like maybe you
just got a tooth pulled, or you're novacane or uh
(18:54):
you know, you're sick like I.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Had a I was getting a cold. That's what you do.
What's the thing?
Speaker 6 (19:02):
Is that what you do when you're fifteen on stage?
Speaker 5 (19:09):
It's a midnight show. That's what it is, right, A
colon Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
What happened? Uh?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Well, so I had to take all this I had
to drink this stuff that's supposed to.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Like clear you out.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
And I had a show the night before my my colonoscopy,
and I fucking did the show?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Was that that?
Speaker 6 (19:32):
What's that fucking horrible bar gig Carlos.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
You're talking about? Yes, it was that bucks.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
I was fucking headlining, and I said it right when
we opened. I said, all right, when I opened on
the show, I was like, hey, I have a colonoscreen.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Morow.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
I took all this stuff that is going through me,
so if I run off stage, just know it's for
everybody's benefit.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I was able to do it, but it was little
touch and go there. I believe it.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
And have you guys had anything like that where or
like where you I know one of your Carlos.
Speaker 7 (20:09):
Yeah, you know I had the uh T on my
vocal cords, so it jacked up my voice for almost
about a year and a half.
Speaker 6 (20:17):
I was thinking of the hair show, but talk about.
Speaker 7 (20:20):
Yeah, no, the TM on my vocal cords. It was
obviously it was benign, so it wasn't it wasn't cancerous
to that degree, but yeah, pretty much made everything I
say low and raspy. It was hard to really talk,
so trying to be on stage and you're trying to
push out words, they like, huh, what is he talking about?
So it was a it was a rough, rough year
(20:42):
and a half for sure before I had that surgery.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, damn, that's wild.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
It was a year like that year, said it again?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Do you have clips from that?
Speaker 7 (20:55):
I'm sure I got video from When it sounds, I
mean it's dramatically different, it's a dramatic sound like this.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
People were constantly like sling blade pretty much much?
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Did you You said it was a year and a
half that you was it? Like, did your throat hurt?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
No? Okay? And how did you like?
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Is it just it just kept getting worse and you
were like, I gotta find out what's going wrong?
Speaker 7 (21:23):
Or I mean it started obviously where where it wasn't
as bad, but I guess as the year progressed, it
just can continuously got worse. And then finally was like, hey,
we got to figure out what's going on here, because
if this is what I'm gonna sound like for the
rest of my life, then I need to know that.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
And when he and they were like, no, you have
a little benign.
Speaker 7 (21:41):
Tumor on your wocal course they had to go through
my mouth to laser it out. So it was when
I got to surgery, I couldn't talk for I think
two weeks.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Dang. Yeah, I just had to sit said and be quiet. Fuck. Yeah,
that was the worst for sure.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
And what about you, Tyler? You ever, what's your worst? Like, yeah,
it could be mental too. I'm ship. I did a
show that my grandma died. I don't remember anything about
the show.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I did a show when my I found out my
dad I'd cancer, and I like cried on stage. It
was pretty It was like I should not have gone
on stage.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Do you remember, like, like what triggered it? I mean,
I'm not obviously the thing going on with your dad,
but I mean, like, was it something that you were
like yeah, And then.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I just talked about it. I like only talked about it. Yeah,
I like I just found out and then I just
made like some jokes about how like I've always wanted
to smoke weed with him, Uh, stuff like that. It
was really sad. It was really depressing.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Do you have clips?
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I do have that. I do I have that clip.
It's audio only, but I did remember I saved it.
I remember it was back when I used to record everything.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
But yeah, it's just sad that.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
But yeah, everything's falling down, all right, I'll get this
ship later.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Anyways, people saw me at that because it was at
an open mic, and some people saw me that and
they bought tickets to a show later just because of
that open mic, Like an entire year later saw me
like on a post or whatever and bought tickets. They're like,
you're that guy that cried at that open mic.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Fuck all right, that's.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
You know, you spend enough of your life on stage.
It's gonna happen, right.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
Yeah, my Graham.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
I was at a barbecue at Tony Daniels.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Uh you know, uh, you don't know.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
I'm Carlos, but a comic cup and Seattle, Tony, Tony,
damn it, Tony Daniel sorry, and and I remember I
got a phone call. I think it was from my
uncle or maybe it was my dad, and told me
that my grandma had passed away and I had gone
to the barbecue with Harold Gomez comic And so I'm
(24:20):
out in the I'm out at the car, and I
get the information, and so in my head, I'm like, Okay,
hold it together, hold it together, I said. I'm like,
I'll go in. I'll tell Harold we got to go,
and then I'll be good. And so tell Harold and
all he asked, He's like.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yo, is everything all right? I just like Grandma.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
And then I had a show that night at the
Comedy Underground, and I don't remember anything about that show.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I don't remember.
Speaker 6 (24:48):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
I literally don't remember anything about that show whatsoever. I
got through it somehow, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I don't know. But that's crazy fucking Jesus.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
I Also, I want to I put this on here
so I mean Carlos and Tyler no, but for anybody
listening to this or watching the promotion side of stand up. So,
so Carlos and I have a show coming up. I'm
wondering how vague to keep it anyways, we have lots
(25:22):
of shows coming up.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You know. Just go to big IRSJ dot com or
part Time Famous dot com. And I got an email
from the.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
From the booker that said, let me read it here.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
Please post a shout out on all your social media
platforms at least two weeks before your performance date and
tag the venue.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Please send the venue.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
A vertically recorded no more than thirty seconds shout out
video about the performance date and a comedy.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You want?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
You want?
Speaker 5 (26:02):
Wait, you want to shout out and a comedy clip.
I'm just I'm rereading this in thirty seconds.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I'm like.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
Anyways, put the recording on a link, an email, or
text them no later than one week ahead of your
performance date. Please see me or email. It has been
done and this is what they wanted me to say. Hi,
I'm blank, you know'd say your name comedian and actor
slash dad, slash mom, slash dog caretaker, et cetera. You're
(26:30):
going to want to get tickets to live at this
venue this weekend to see me and two other comics live.
We'll have a great time. Did you know? Tickets are
only twenty five dollars. You can buy one egg for
that right now or some silly quip. Head over to
chip Oh, I almost said the thing. Head over to
(26:52):
this website and click on this link. I can't wait there.
So I fucking I threw something together that pretty much is.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
It's all of.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
That ship right uh for the most part. And then
I got an email back because I send it to
the venue and they said no, yeah, they go, Thanks
for sending. If there's any chance, can you redo it?
Would you mind? Because the venue the way I said,
(27:26):
the venue is pronounced a different way.
Speaker 6 (27:29):
And I was like, no, like no, it's.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
You know, that's fine, they'll get it. Yeah, like you
I want to know the name?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Oh god it uh yeah, you may not know it.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
I was gonna I could have gave you a hint,
but it's I'm just like the stuff that you know.
I'm trying to get better at at my promoting and
I'm actually I never like finding out like how I'm
doing on ticket sales, but I'm gonna start asking because
I'm I'm doing this new thing where I'm boosting reels advertising.
(28:13):
Shout out to Khalia McNeil gave me the give me
the rundown on how to do it. And everything, and
I want to see if that's working, because I'm I'm
doing that for my Boston show. Like if it's a
show I'm headlining at a club, I'll I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Probably start doing it on every show except for one
that I have to do a shout out for.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
But here and here's, here's a thing and that. And
I get that these venues want us to promote. I
get that part, but we I mean, that's something we
inherently do anyway, because we're trying to tell people. We're
trying to build a fan base. You're trying to get
people out to a show, So you're gonna do that.
You should do that naturally, unless it's some rinkinging food
ass show you like, I'm not inviting nobody. It is so,
(28:56):
but it's almost like sometimes these venues want you to
take their job out of their hate adds. Yeah, you
promoted you, you sell the tickets, you come perform, and
we hope to get to get a big take out
of it, uh and pay you pennies on the dollar
for what you just need. So it's like, come on, man, y'all,
(29:16):
y'all have to meet us halfway somewhere. So increase increase
the pay on what you're performing with, and so we
can have a budget to do that, would you say,
or listen, we let us promote the way we promote.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
Yeah, And I I know Tyler, you know from being
friends with Tyler and like doing so many dope shows.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
He puts thousands into his ads.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
I know, Like, how do you And if you don't
want to say, I get it, But I was gonna say,
what's like on average for the year that you spay
spend on advertisement?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Would you say a year? Yeah, over the.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Years, like more than what people make minimum? Wag Uh,
it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Fuck, dude, it's it's just and you'll turn out it's
a great.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah sometimes sometimes like dude, sometimes, And like you just
really have to monitor them because like I didn't monitor
some ads because I got like thirteen or twenty going
on right now, just because I got a big month
and on April, so like all these ads are running,
and like one of them there's something fucked up with it,
(30:32):
and like results should be for me, like less than
a dollar, like way less than a dollar per result,
And this one was at fifteen bucks per result, And
I was like, what the fuck? So I had to
shut it down and rebuild it because I must have
sucked up something doing it. But or it's just like
that area is fucking tapped, or I don't know, it's
(30:54):
gotta keep a keep. It's just something that never stays consistent,
you know. Yeah, so he's gotta keep using with it.
But yeah, I know, I spent a fortune on that shit,
and I fucking hate it.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I wish I could just be famous and just put
out a post. But even then, even if you just
put out a post, like Facebook will be like, I
know you're trying to promote shit, and people think that
shit's boring, So I'm not gonna put it up there.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
So they should pay money, right, Victoria said, do you
think the Parlor Live did a good job advertising? I
have no idea because I was in charge of the
compast for the longest, and.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I mean they.
Speaker 6 (31:34):
Definitely advertised free tickets when they would pay for the room.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
I don't think they did a good job. I would
say no, just looking at other clubs and seeing how
other clubs like aren't bombarding with free tickets all the
time and like constantly emailing, and like the Parlor just
seem like if you were paying money to go to
a show there, you were a sucker tickest literally any show,
(32:02):
but unless it was somebody big. But yeah, I don't know.
It probably was a harder place to advertise and just
fill out just because it was in such a rich
neighborhood that it's you're not just going to a comedy
show like it's a movie night. It's like you're going
to a concert where it's going to cost parking food,
like it's a luxury night. So it's hard. It was hard.
(32:26):
It's a hard spot for the parlorment. Ultimate for going
out of business.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Well that's that wasn't why they went out of business.
Speaker 7 (32:39):
Yeah, but I tell you, I will say this though,
to those to those clubs and venues that that get
it right and it makes all the difference in the world.
I mean, when you when you walking in and you
know that there's going to be a consistent audience every time,
then that's what That's what I love about the La
County Club because I'm like, man, they have very rarely
(33:00):
seen them under forty people in the room at a time.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Right, And that's that's on an off night. Yeah, and
so but it's a.
Speaker 7 (33:09):
Joint venture because they not only promote for themselves, but
the casino promotes. So that's that's even dumber than me
when you have a because of course I had casino
shows before, where the casino isn't.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
He promoting what's going on inside of their venue? Like
what are you thinking?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
What are y'all think it? I mean they make more
money from the casinos.
Speaker 7 (33:30):
Why not get that part too? But get all the
money in. You know you're gonna be about the money.
Get all the money. You're leaving money on the table
not having I.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Feel like any show and a casino is just something
that the casino uses for, Like, you lost all your money,
Well to this comedy, why don't you go sit there,
chill out. There's those guys are funny, Yet twenty of
your friends.
Speaker 7 (33:59):
Then come the out done with the show is sit
back down and trying to win your money back.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
Yeah, it's like, are you in have you lost your
life savings? Are you depressed and in the worst mood
you could possibly be in.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
Oh, go to a comedy show, bro.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
I with no teeth talk for an hour, dude, I
love it.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Though.
Speaker 5 (34:24):
I was going to ask both of you guys if
you I mean, I don't really do political shit, and
Carlos doesn't really.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You know, uh do you you know, do you have
any political jokes? Tyler?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I've been doing some lately, just because it's like everybody.
I feel like it's just kind of what everybody wants,
or it's just kind of a vibe like I don't know,
maybe it's just because I'm looking at too many politics myself.
That is just what I'm writing about right now. But
I've been trying to keep it super down the middle though.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Okay, Well, what I was going to ask you is
if if any of either of you guys have had
any like uh, Trump running or Maga runnings or you know,
like Trump supporter runnings.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah. I had one when I went to Lake Havasu.
Oh shit, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (35:14):
And I shut that ship down very quickly because I
had said something about I think it's a bit where
I asked, do y'all think people are getting dumber and
dumber bout the day? And some dude was like, yeah,
the Democrats. And I was like, we're not gonna do that, sir.
I said, We're not about to do that. But he
had on his Trump hat and I was like, yeah,
I already know what this first. I already know where
I'm at. Yeah, yeah, it's not about I'm not about
(35:36):
to have this conversation because the crowd was in and
then so I'm not about to turn y'all the opposite way.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
So let me finish up with this whatever.
Speaker 7 (35:45):
I got twenty five minutes stuff, fifteen minutes off and
that's gonna get out of here and shake hands and
kiss babies and get.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Out of But yeah, he was It was almost like
he was waiting on it though. The whole time. He
was just like, where's my spot? Right? Yeah, career. So
it's like, we're not gonna do that, sir, We're not
gonna do that. Have you had anything?
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, when I did Oregon, there was a bunch of
like Trump supporters and not Bend but the other one Roseberg.
But it was kind of funny because one of the
comics on the show is from Portland, super Liberal went
off on Elon. I had some funny jokes about him.
(36:25):
He called him aus twisticks and then, uh, the joke
that I've been kind of trying to work on that,
I feel like it's definitely like it's me trying to
be in the middle. But I bought Tesla stock h
(36:48):
and I bought it right before I bought it in
December because it was like it's doing well, and I'm
like Trump just got elected, like he's gonna go take
office in January. Elonsay's boy, I felt like Nancy Pelosi.
I'm like, you know now. I was like, I know
(37:09):
exactly what's gonna happen. So I bought a bunch of
Tesla stock and then it tagged it takes so Bad,
and he's like out there doing this Nazi salute, and
I'm like defending him because I'm trying to get my
money back. I'm like, come on.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
Like, no, no, he was just pointing to where the
stock was gonna rise up.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
This is the gas prices are, dude. He's not that
he doesn't like gas, remember, yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:43):
Dude, the stocks I mean, I mean, Carlos and I've
been talking about it, and I've been talking to Sean
about it.
Speaker 6 (37:48):
I'm like, Jesus Christ, it's just every day.
Speaker 5 (37:53):
I'm like, I had in videos fucking taking a beaten
and coinbase everything I sold. The actually sold like twenty
shares of Apple today because I was like, I might
just try and get out of fucking dealing with it
for right now.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Yeah, I'm trying to buy it now, I guess because
it's like buy what just buying bitcoin and stock because
it's crashed, and I'm like, well, I might as well,
might as well just buy a little bit more, you know,
I already lost so much fucking money. Might as well
just throw some more on the pile, because this is
(38:31):
like then I would have bought it like a year ago.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
I feel like it's a fucking sucker. Oh did it crash?
Maybe I should buy more.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
Than I Yeah, I have no idea what's gonna I mean,
it's it's crazy that we're not even we're not even too.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Are we two months in? No, we're not even not
even two full months?
Speaker 4 (38:52):
No?
Speaker 6 (38:53):
Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? What's it gonna be
in a year? Holy shit?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Buckle up, fellas, buckle up.
Speaker 7 (39:02):
They Yeah, it's my money and a mastress.
Speaker 5 (39:09):
I got one of those. Have you seen those box?
It's like a box and it has like like one
hundred little numbers, like it'll like one will be five,
one will be one hundred, and you put that in
there and then once you've checked every box.
Speaker 6 (39:22):
There's like ten grand in there.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I've seen that. Knowing my luck, it'll fucking I'll get
right to ten grand. Then there'll be a fire. It's
just fucking hush.
Speaker 5 (39:34):
It's fucking just trying to figure it out, guys, I
don't know. Also, I got my album is coming out.
I have a special in an album working with Laugh
After Dark and John Tobin Presents. It's it's already edited,
got the art and everything. So the pre sale will
(39:55):
go on sale March tenth. The album's called Green Monster,
and then it will be released. The album will we'll
be released on Saint Patti's Day March seventeenth, and then
the special will be out March. I think it's twenty eighth.
But this was like two years ago, filmed in Boston,
(40:16):
so it's when I was a big boy, big boy,
so giant, Green Monster, Green Johnny and I still like.
I like this idea, but I was set on Thanks Victoria,
I was. I was kind of well, first I wanted
to name it. You'll understand why I didn't go with this,
(40:36):
but I wanted to name it mass for Massachusetts mass murderer.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Murders. Maybe I'll save it for later.
Speaker 5 (40:46):
Another one, but then I was like, I'll go with
Green Monster, you know Green Irish Green Monsters, Boston thing,
and then Monster. I was I was a fucking monster then.
But dude, looking at the video, I mean it's it's
high quality. Everything's great quality. But god, I just non
stop sweating and then and uh, like I always was like, oh,
(41:10):
I'm just one of those people that sweats when he's
on stage. Like yeah, if you're if you have a
parka of fat all around the body, yeah, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I don't sweat anymore on stage. It's fucking nuts, dude.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
As a former big boy or as a boy that
goes up and down with his weight, I can tell
you when you're fatter, you definitely sweat more. And like
now I'm at like my, I'm at my my I'm
at like my my crack weight. This is where I
used to wait when I was like what are you at?
Speaker 6 (41:38):
Now?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
I'm like one sorry, two fifteen.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Ship that's fucking great?
Speaker 6 (41:46):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Like?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Oh no, dude, in my high school I weighed like
I was close to three hundred in high school.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I was a big boy. Wait what we gotta see pictures? Yeah,
I was.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I was like a football player, and I was just
I was very meaty, dude. I was like, I was
very meaty to you back then.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
I would have never guessed that just a big old
native slash North African, Swedish.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Apparently some Swedish, German, Dutch Scottish. If you just mix
all the whites together, you get a minority.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Oh fuck, that's fucking crazy. I never knew that you
were fat in high school. Yeah, boy, I never knew
you were fat in high school.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
But I could wear a jacket on stage now, and
I fucking love that, dude.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
Dude, it's it's it surprises me, like how I just
like I'll be in Florida.
Speaker 6 (42:51):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
I just don't sweat on stage now. And uh it's nice,
really nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
I'm coming up on the end of my I only
got a couple more weeks left.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
I don't know. I think I might start like doing
cocaine again or something.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
That'll do it.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (43:16):
The other one in Carlos White Girl, white Girl, cocaine,
bogus sugar, white.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Girl isn't there. There's like, what's it called he him,
which is like or no him her.
Speaker 5 (43:27):
I think it is. It's like a knockoff ozempic. It's
basically like the equivalent of what are those like blue
chew is to viagra, Like what I understand her him
or whatever is the like the ozempic version.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Interesting her him there's like him or him her website.
It's like a just a health company. But you can
get semi glue tie is like the generic version of zempic,
and it's super affordable. You can get it anywhere you want.
I'm but you're only supposed to take it for six months.
Oh oh, stop taking it unless you're diabetic. But I'm
(44:05):
not diabetic, so uh, you shouldn't quit cold turkey on ozembic.
Yeah no, I'm on my I'm phasing down right now.
I am my last. Like it's just gonna be like
less and less and then I'll be off of it
and then I'll be back to eating normal.
Speaker 5 (44:25):
Yeah, Angels on it because but she's diabetic and yeah,
it's it's interesting, like because it's almost like how we're
the same as far as our eating habits. Where we're
not we won't be hungry and shit like that and
just can only eat a little bit.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
I saw in the news that they said thirteen percent
of America has tried or is on ozempic or a
semi glue tide and it's decimating the restaurant industry right now. Wow,
which I'm like, wait, how you mean that we were
so fat as a name? We were unhealthily like inflating
(45:05):
richer exactly. I opened a doughnut shop. I'm selling so
many a day.
Speaker 5 (45:13):
Yeah, that's all the ozempic people are going to open
up shit for the people. I can't get on the ozempic.
Speaker 6 (45:19):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (45:19):
I wanted to tell you though, on the album, I
didn't go with this, but it would have been it
could have been dope. But I also was thinking what
would have been funny as if I named this this
album that's about to come out when I was fat,
name that one before and then my next album after.
That's fun But I think I'm gonna name the next
(45:41):
one uh so brave. So I don't know, we'll see,
I don't know who knows, but anyways, that comes out.
Pre Orders are the tenth and then it comes out
the seventeenth. Laugh after Dark Productions John Tobin presents, and
hopefully we can get it to the number one spot
(46:01):
for Amazon or Apple Music and uh.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
He's gonna get there. We'll see. Yes, come on, baby,
come on baby.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
I'll be pushing a lot like the horror that I
wore that I am all right. Uh, let's do our
plugs and then I gotta get out of here. But uh,
I'll let you go first. Carlitos.
Speaker 7 (46:20):
Uh this week and I am in Pachonga, Oh Dope
with Jay, and then after that we are in Boston
with Jay. I'm at the La Comedy Club tonight. Then
I'm also I got some doptails. I got some Jimmy
Kimmel's coming up. Uh just picked up headlining at Dallas
(46:40):
Comedy Club in June. So check out part time Famous
dot com. We were moving and shaking over here.
Speaker 6 (46:46):
You're Tyler.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
I got dope shows this month at my regular clubs
Tacoma and Spokane and in Seattle on the twenty second
and twenty ninth. But I'm just gonna start promoting this
every week up until when it happens. A bunch of
dope shows happening on four to twenty coming up month
and a half away. Eatam Claw, the eighteenth, nineteenth, North Bend,
(47:12):
twentieth We got Everett Tacoma and Spokane. Get your tickets.
We're gonna have a really fun lineup for each one
of those shows.
Speaker 5 (47:20):
Yeah, and I will be in Pachanga this weekend, Jingle Casino, Temecula,
then next weekend Boston, mass Big Rshan Friends Show Me Carlos,
Anthony Khalia McNeil, Todd Royce weekend after that Boise Idaho
Lounge at the End of the Universe. Places coming up Santabel, Florida,
(47:43):
West Jordan, Utah, Philadelphia, PA, Saint Paul, Minnesota. Go to
big RSJ dot com slash shows, or you can just
go to big RSJ dot com click the show's link
and all the tickets are in there, all the ticket links.
And then also I will be promoting the album Pretty
Hardcore over the next so you can be annoyed by that.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
And until next week.
Speaker 5 (48:09):
Thanks for tuning in, And uh, goodbye from your white
black and.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
I don't know Tyler Smith, just.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
A bunch white.
Speaker 5 (48:24):
Apparently we got to get the second one. We got
to get your second one. And see what that says.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
All right, we'll take another test and hopefully I'll be
a minority.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Until next week.
Speaker 5 (48:38):
If you if a person fucking listens to this till
the end. You deserve a prize. Your prize is to
go to iTunes and rate.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Review this podcast given five stars. You motherfuckers.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Fucking say some nice you Fox, You motherfuckers. You know
this fucking piece of shit for five years, that averaging
about two fucking reviews a year.
Speaker 5 (49:13):
Go fucking write some motherfuckers.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Oh fuck, that is the realest time I've ever heard you,
yeah do What the fuck
What do you want to say something about your show?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I shot on myself in the womb.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
Stop Phil, you fucking stink.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
You know what? Fuck this.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
Because it's hollings Worth, but it's worth less.
Speaker 4 (00:18):
I don't want to hear about whatever you have to say,
the worstless of the week.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
You're just gonna sit up there the whole time, Phil,
Fox Scorpion.
Speaker 5 (00:26):
It's a move man, you fucking dummy.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Then what the fuck? House of Race Black People show?
Shoot me now?
Speaker 6 (00:47):
What time? Everybody walking in to the hallings Red Thisss program.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
One of your host big usually.
Speaker 5 (00:54):
The Hooligans, the Gun Squad, the usual Suspects, Three of
a Kind, Trip, three Men, No Baby, three Musketeers, the
three Threes Company, No mister Fairley. Starting with you've seen
him on Amazon Prime. He's the host with the most
part time famous, full time funny Carlos.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
And what's happening in these streets?
Speaker 5 (01:15):
Oh you like this? And last but not least, we
have the d e. I'm not native.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
They call him the one box checker. They call him uncanceled.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
Man. Hey, I'm not racist. I can't be. I'm black, Tyler.
Don't call me Joseph Smith.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Ah, that's great. I like that taking thank you for
using my new credentials, respect.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Your respecting your new found origin.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Yeah, or maybe would you do you prefer d E
I'm not native or d E I'm black?
Speaker 2 (02:04):
One of those here?
Speaker 5 (02:06):
I'm sorry, I should I should I not be in
this conversation with you and Tyler?
Speaker 2 (02:10):
Yeah you can, won't you get the funk out?
Speaker 6 (02:14):
Dude?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I gotta I have a follow up to the DNA
testing from last Did you do the other one? No?
Oh no, I haven't got no, no, no, but my parents
did their test results? Oh no, uh so my parents
when they tested, they got back different results than me,
(02:36):
like neither one of them.
Speaker 5 (02:38):
Wait wait before, don't okay, hold on because this I want,
I want all of this. But for anybody that's just
coming in right now. So what they need to know
is our our good buddy Tyler, who we love so much,
and he for the longest had told us that as
his understanding, he had been told by his family that
(03:01):
they were that.
Speaker 6 (03:02):
He was part native.
Speaker 5 (03:03):
So we always would you know, joking and play that up,
that he's he's like the box checker. He would check
all the boxes and then he did a DNA test
and found out he has no Native American in him,
and uh he was what was it, one percent black?
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Uh? North African?
Speaker 5 (03:23):
Okay, that's right, there we go, Okay, that's right. Sorry, okay,
so you're African American?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
Gotcha? All right?
Speaker 5 (03:27):
So I'm sorry, I want to make sure I got
the right terms.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Is that north just North African? It is from the.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Other side the difference apparently.
Speaker 6 (03:45):
So I went shout out to Victoria in the chat.
Speaker 5 (03:47):
Okay, So with all that, Victoria, Uh yeah, on the
last episode, he got his DNA test results and we're
going to have him.
Speaker 6 (03:54):
He's going to do another one too.
Speaker 5 (03:55):
But okay, so Tyler, you said your parents took a
DNA test.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Right, so found out one percent North African. And then
we looked at my parents results and which were like
a lot different than mine, which was a little bit
kind of interesting. So like both of my parents were
like way more Scottish than I am. Both say what there?
Speaker 6 (04:27):
What was your what'd your milkman look like?
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Hell, let me get to that.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Hell the horses, man, I'm trying to tell the story.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
I'm trying to tell his story. So my dad's results
came in and uh, his were like pretty similar. We
had all the same things, only he had like Romanian
and I didn't have that for some reason. And then uh,
my mom's results came back and her was like really
(05:01):
close to mine too, but she had Swedish which I
didn't have. And then we're looking at both of them
kryd of like compare, and neither one of them had
North Africa. Neither one was North African whatever zero percent.
So I think my mom cheated on my dad with
(05:25):
a one percent African American man or probably two percent,
probably two percent.
Speaker 2 (05:32):
Coming together. Now it's all coming to and now did
they do the same company for the DNA testing?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
That they did the same company, And then the company
definitely sends me a message going like hey, you have
a new family member and both my it was like
your mom, this is probably your mom and this is
probably your dad. So like at least they know that
we're related. But yeah, it turns out I'm not. I
don't think I'm one percent North African. I think it
(05:59):
might have been an air. It was probably an Air
and they say on their website you could get an
air up to one percent. So seeing that both of
my parents don't have it, I guess that I don't.
I guess I'm not black at all.
Speaker 7 (06:14):
No, I get that car back off all for you,
black car back off of you?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Thank you, sir. Yeah? And can you can you put
a return decender on the invite? Right?
Speaker 7 (06:29):
Yeah, we done it. I've done it officially. I just
hit the button oning it. No, they keep your raisin
salad or whatever.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Raisin salad, the reasons ranch on it.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
What a bummer, man, What a bummer.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
But here's the question, though, we weren't on last week,
So how did it feel to be black for two weeks?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
That's right? I was very liberal with certain words.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
What else is new?
Speaker 5 (07:03):
What else is NEWT shout out to Patrick Milton or
it may be him.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
I don't know.
Speaker 6 (07:08):
Nobody likes onions as Patrick Milton.
Speaker 5 (07:11):
But it said I stopped watching the show for a
few months, and you just swap black guys out.
Speaker 6 (07:15):
Wow are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (07:18):
We just turned out I'm not actually black?
Speaker 6 (07:23):
Are you gonna take the other two different.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Types of whites? Yeah? Yeah, I got one just sitting
right here, So I'll probably take it to and just
see what happens.
Speaker 5 (07:33):
Oh my god, I'm so curious what that's going to
come back with?
Speaker 7 (07:37):
That comes back with North Africa. That shit will be
fucking hilarious.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's like, we're pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
He actually messed up on the other end. Maybe related
to Musk.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Could be he's South African.
Speaker 6 (07:50):
Though, okay, maybe he was visiting North.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I mean he's got what is he have? Twelve kids?
Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
Thirteen? But one's dead?
Speaker 2 (08:01):
What?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Wow? He had a kid die from kids?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
Oh mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
But I mean, like you have not all your kids
are going to make it if you have that many kids,
like just statistically speaking, but uh, they're all like almost
all of his kids by the way, our test tube
kids really, they're almost all artificial insemination.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Well that sounds about right with Hill. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Fucking weird, isn't it. That's weird.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I don't have the time for this. My secretary is
going to send you a package. Shit on it.
Speaker 2 (08:50):
My package. Wow. Uh.
Speaker 5 (08:55):
This last weekend I was in uh Sacramento at Last
Unlimited for their comedy camp.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Raining to be a comedian.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I'm still still trying, man, trying to figure it out.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
You know, people know that you have to put in
a few hours of school every year to keep your
comedy card.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
It was.
Speaker 6 (09:21):
It was so for people that don't know.
Speaker 5 (09:24):
So there's the big Pine Comedy Festival, and then they
have like little satellite comedy camps.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
Uh so they have one in Sacramento.
Speaker 5 (09:32):
I think they're doing one in Plano, Texas, and then
they have San Diego and then Arizona. But I did
a class on storytelling, and I'll be it was my
first time, you know, doing a teaching one of those
seminars or whatever at the at one of the comedy camps,
(09:53):
and I was nervous. I was nervous beforehand because I'm
you know, there's so many I mean, you know how
we are as comics. There's so much shit that goes
your head like are these comics gonna be like who
the fuck is?
Speaker 2 (10:03):
Why is he teaching this? You know?
Speaker 5 (10:04):
Or and in my own like, you know, I hope,
I hope people get something out of this and I'm
not just wasting my time in theirs. But it ended
up being good, Like the feedback from everybody that was
there was really really good. So and I actually want
to do it again because I I see where I
can improve and like cut certain ship and everything.
Speaker 2 (10:25):
But it was it was fun. It was pretty dope
and uh.
Speaker 5 (10:29):
And then I did a casino and I did a
casino in uh Corning on Saturday, Rolling Hills Casino. But uh,
there's this comic on there that he Uh, I'm meeting
him and he was very funny.
Speaker 6 (10:46):
But he literally had one tooth.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
In his mouth and the only one literally like this
like one little thing. I believe that one. So and
I text you this, didn't I Carlo?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
You told me, Yeah, you told me.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Only two.
Speaker 5 (11:08):
You have a beautiful smile. No, but so and this
and the one tooth like stuck out a little bit.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
So he had a buck tooth. But I I had
text Carlos.
Speaker 5 (11:19):
And I was like, I don't know, I don't know
if he's like, if it's from meth or what. And
then he's on stage talking about how he has a
disease called I wrote it down blue rubber bleb Mevus syndrome. Wow,
And I felt awful. But he talks about it all.
(11:39):
Did you look this up to see if that's valid? Yeah,
I'm here. I I just did right now. It says
it's a rare genetic disorder that causes abnormal blood vessels
or blebs to appear on the skin and internal organs.
The blebs can be purple and how a rubbery texture.
(12:01):
And he was saying, he was talking about that there's
there's two kinds. One that is like on the outside
like so he had like a bump, like a lump
on the on the side of his finger and uh.
And then he has like an internal He has like
two of them, like the two worst and uh. And
(12:22):
then I felt bad because I had like been like this,
he's got one teeth. But he fuck, he was very
funny and crushed it. He was he was featuring and hosted.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Did he do really well though? Like honestly, no, he did.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
He did good? Like it was. It was crazy because.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Did he do good for a regular comic or did
he do good for a gomic with one too.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Like me because he can't talk very well. Uh he didn't.
Speaker 5 (12:53):
Amazing for a comic that has blue rubber blad Neva syndrome.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
He killed it. But uh no, he was.
Speaker 5 (13:01):
Him and the host were both very funny and and
like it was a It was actually a great show.
Was this the whole room was I guess it was
sold out?
Speaker 7 (13:08):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I mean it was filled the whole room.
Speaker 5 (13:11):
Was there's wasn't an empty seat, and then host went
up ripped it and then he the feature went up,
and I was I was, honestly, I was like nervous
because again I was thinking that it was from meth.
So I was like, is this like guy like a
current drug addict or a former drug addict or what.
And then he's up there and uh and he would
like he talked about that and and he he did great.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
And then I went up and did my thing.
Speaker 1 (13:36):
And there is this comic in town here who I
think had like drug addictions or something. But he had
like a little bit of a meth mouth, a little
bit of meth mouth, you know, just to eminem just
I think he had a he had a funked up girl.
He it was anyways, yeah and eminem if you will.
(14:00):
But uh, he ended up getting all of his teeth
extracted and then got like dentures or whatever. But for
the month in between the dentures and the teeth pulling, dude,
he still did comedy. And I was like, bro, you like, honestly,
(14:22):
you make me feel bad because I don't think I
like comedy or would do it through this right now,
like especially if you like, like I might quit comedy
if I lost my teeth and there was no like
and I couldn't get more teeth. I'm sorry, but I
probably fucking quit. I'm like that shallow. I'd be out.
I'd be out the fucking door. I don't know if
(14:44):
I can come back. You just like nobody would be
able to understand you anyways.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
You just have to, like you have to cover your mouth.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I'll wear a COVID mask the whole time.
Speaker 7 (14:53):
Yeah, wearing a COVID mask.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
I'm not this liberal, I'm not this paranoid. I'm just ugly.
But it would sound so you know, your voice would change,
like how you deliver things. Think you're like the noise
is coming out of your mouth. Everything would change. You
would have to like address it. But anyway, that's crazy.
Speaker 6 (15:19):
You could say, like, oh, I have like a rare
disease that I.
Speaker 5 (15:24):
Have to be careful. That's why I'm wearing the mask,
and then just never get off.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Yeah, with the mask on. So, uh, they're doing like
this this comedy show, and uh that Dube went on stage,
he did his set, and then somebody else went on
stage after him, and he was like in the back
hanging out with the other comics. Uh, and this comic
told me the story, and I thought it was so
fucking funny. She's so mean, this female comic. The toothless
(15:52):
guy says to the female, I can't believe this guy's
on stage right now wearing shorts. How disgraceful. She just goes, bro,
you have no tea.
Speaker 5 (16:11):
Like what he's wearing shorts and you're not wearing tea.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
That's so brutal, did he say? I think he just
got hired. Broken, but the confidence to leave your house,
I don't know if I could do it? Could you
do that? Could you just keep going like you can
bounce back? You want to just be like, all right,
I'm gonna go get a job working at Walmart being
a I wouldn't even be a greeter.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
Yeah, exactly, like.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Exactly. You want me to go back to my job
where everybody smiles.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah, I wouldn't be able to do it.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
I feel bad for these folks. So, yeah, you know
your features.
Speaker 6 (17:10):
It sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
It sounds like you really broke up.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
Out the window.
Speaker 5 (17:18):
Since I found out in one hundred way, you're just
totally embracing it. Next you'll have.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Maga hat on.
Speaker 5 (17:29):
I I would like, hypothetically, I would still be doing comedy.
I'd have to write the best joke I ever read
wrote to address that, and then so that they don't
focus on that, and it would have to be my
opener so I can get it all the way immediately.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, there's no way they're gonna forget about it.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Five minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:56):
It's got to be the whole thing. It'll be your
whole act.
Speaker 6 (18:00):
I mean you you talking like this where you cover
everything up.
Speaker 3 (18:04):
Hey, it's like your your jaw gets so much, like
your teeth adds so much structure your face Without it,
it just shrinks in and you get that bitter beer face, dude,
and like your lips would be smacking every time you
opened up.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
It would be like, ah, there's no way. I don't
know if I could do it. I don't know if
I could do it.
Speaker 5 (18:30):
Okay, So here here's a and this might take you
a second. I know for me, Uh, what was there
a time that Oh I already I think I might know,
Carlos is I was gonna say where you had to
perform with you know, with something that's got you off
your game, so to speak, Whether it's like maybe you
just got a tooth pulled, or you're novacane or uh
(18:54):
you know, you're sick like I.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Had a I was getting a cold. That's what you do.
What's the thing?
Speaker 6 (19:02):
Is that what you do when you're fifteen on stage?
Speaker 5 (19:09):
It's a midnight show. That's what it is, right, A
colon Is that what it is?
Speaker 1 (19:16):
What happened? Uh?
Speaker 5 (19:18):
Well, so I had to take all this I had
to drink this stuff that's supposed to.
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Like clear you out.
Speaker 5 (19:24):
And I had a show the night before my my colonoscopy,
and I fucking did the show?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Was that that?
Speaker 6 (19:32):
What's that fucking horrible bar gig Carlos.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
You're talking about? Yes, it was that bucks.
Speaker 5 (19:42):
I was fucking headlining, and I said it right when
we opened. I said, all right, when I opened on
the show, I was like, hey, I have a colonoscreen.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Morow.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
I took all this stuff that is going through me,
so if I run off stage, just know it's for
everybody's benefit.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I was able to do it, but it was little
touch and go there. I believe it.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
And have you guys had anything like that where or
like where you I know one of your Carlos.
Speaker 7 (20:09):
Yeah, you know I had the uh T on my
vocal cords, so it jacked up my voice for almost
about a year and a half.
Speaker 6 (20:17):
I was thinking of the hair show, but talk about.
Speaker 7 (20:20):
Yeah, no, the TM on my vocal cords. It was
obviously it was benign, so it wasn't it wasn't cancerous
to that degree, but yeah, pretty much made everything I
say low and raspy. It was hard to really talk,
so trying to be on stage and you're trying to
push out words, they like, huh, what is he talking about?
So it was a it was a rough, rough year
(20:42):
and a half for sure before I had that surgery.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
Yeah, damn, that's wild.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
It was a year like that year, said it again?
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Do you have clips from that?
Speaker 7 (20:55):
I'm sure I got video from When it sounds, I
mean it's dramatically different, it's a dramatic sound like this.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
People were constantly like sling blade pretty much much?
Speaker 5 (21:11):
Did you You said it was a year and a
half that you was it? Like, did your throat hurt?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
No? Okay? And how did you like?
Speaker 5 (21:19):
Is it just it just kept getting worse and you
were like, I gotta find out what's going wrong?
Speaker 7 (21:23):
Or I mean it started obviously where where it wasn't
as bad, but I guess as the year progressed, it
just can continuously got worse. And then finally was like, hey,
we got to figure out what's going on here, because
if this is what I'm gonna sound like for the
rest of my life, then I need to know that.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
And when he and they were like, no, you have
a little benign.
Speaker 7 (21:41):
Tumor on your wocal course they had to go through
my mouth to laser it out. So it was when
I got to surgery, I couldn't talk for I think
two weeks.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Dang. Yeah, I just had to sit said and be quiet. Fuck. Yeah,
that was the worst for sure.
Speaker 5 (22:00):
And what about you, Tyler? You ever, what's your worst? Like, yeah,
it could be mental too. I'm ship. I did a
show that my grandma died. I don't remember anything about
the show.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
I did a show when my I found out my
dad I'd cancer, and I like cried on stage. It
was pretty It was like I should not have gone
on stage.
Speaker 5 (22:27):
Do you remember, like, like what triggered it? I mean,
I'm not obviously the thing going on with your dad,
but I mean, like, was it something that you were
like yeah, And then.
Speaker 1 (22:36):
I just talked about it. I like only talked about it. Yeah,
I like I just found out and then I just
made like some jokes about how like I've always wanted
to smoke weed with him, Uh, stuff like that. It
was really sad. It was really depressing.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Do you have clips?
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I do have that. I do I have that clip.
It's audio only, but I did remember I saved it.
I remember it was back when I used to record everything.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
But yeah, it's just sad that.
Speaker 5 (23:12):
But yeah, everything's falling down, all right, I'll get this
ship later.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Anyways, people saw me at that because it was at
an open mic, and some people saw me that and
they bought tickets to a show later just because of
that open mic, Like an entire year later saw me
like on a post or whatever and bought tickets. They're like,
you're that guy that cried at that open mic.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
Fuck all right, that's.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
You know, you spend enough of your life on stage.
It's gonna happen, right.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
Yeah, my Graham.
Speaker 5 (23:52):
I was at a barbecue at Tony Daniels.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
Uh you know, uh, you don't know.
Speaker 5 (23:58):
I'm Carlos, but a comic cup and Seattle, Tony, Tony,
damn it, Tony Daniel sorry, and and I remember I
got a phone call. I think it was from my
uncle or maybe it was my dad, and told me
that my grandma had passed away and I had gone
to the barbecue with Harold Gomez comic And so I'm
(24:20):
out in the I'm out at the car, and I
get the information, and so in my head, I'm like, Okay,
hold it together, hold it together, I said. I'm like,
I'll go in. I'll tell Harold we got to go,
and then I'll be good. And so tell Harold and
all he asked, He's like.
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yo, is everything all right? I just like Grandma.
Speaker 5 (24:40):
And then I had a show that night at the
Comedy Underground, and I don't remember anything about that show.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I don't remember.
Speaker 6 (24:48):
I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:48):
I don't.
Speaker 5 (24:48):
I literally don't remember anything about that show whatsoever. I
got through it somehow, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I don't know. But that's crazy fucking Jesus.
Speaker 5 (25:00):
I Also, I want to I put this on here
so I mean Carlos and Tyler no, but for anybody
listening to this or watching the promotion side of stand up. So,
so Carlos and I have a show coming up. I'm
wondering how vague to keep it anyways, we have lots
(25:22):
of shows coming up.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
You know. Just go to big IRSJ dot com or
part Time Famous dot com. And I got an email
from the.
Speaker 6 (25:35):
From the booker that said, let me read it here.
Speaker 5 (25:40):
Please post a shout out on all your social media
platforms at least two weeks before your performance date and
tag the venue.
Speaker 2 (25:50):
Please send the venue.
Speaker 5 (25:52):
A vertically recorded no more than thirty seconds shout out
video about the performance date and a comedy.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
You want?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
You want?
Speaker 5 (26:02):
Wait, you want to shout out and a comedy clip.
I'm just I'm rereading this in thirty seconds.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
I'm like.
Speaker 5 (26:08):
Anyways, put the recording on a link, an email, or
text them no later than one week ahead of your
performance date. Please see me or email. It has been
done and this is what they wanted me to say. Hi,
I'm blank, you know'd say your name comedian and actor
slash dad, slash mom, slash dog caretaker, et cetera. You're
(26:30):
going to want to get tickets to live at this
venue this weekend to see me and two other comics live.
We'll have a great time. Did you know? Tickets are
only twenty five dollars. You can buy one egg for
that right now or some silly quip. Head over to
chip Oh, I almost said the thing. Head over to
(26:52):
this website and click on this link. I can't wait there.
So I fucking I threw something together that pretty much is.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
It's all of.
Speaker 5 (27:06):
That ship right uh for the most part. And then
I got an email back because I send it to
the venue and they said no, yeah, they go, Thanks
for sending. If there's any chance, can you redo it?
Would you mind? Because the venue the way I said,
(27:26):
the venue is pronounced a different way.
Speaker 6 (27:29):
And I was like, no, like no, it's.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
You know, that's fine, they'll get it. Yeah, like you
I want to know the name?
Speaker 2 (27:47):
Oh god it uh yeah, you may not know it.
Speaker 5 (27:51):
I was gonna I could have gave you a hint,
but it's I'm just like the stuff that you know.
I'm trying to get better at at my promoting and
I'm actually I never like finding out like how I'm
doing on ticket sales, but I'm gonna start asking because
I'm I'm doing this new thing where I'm boosting reels advertising.
(28:13):
Shout out to Khalia McNeil gave me the give me
the rundown on how to do it. And everything, and
I want to see if that's working, because I'm I'm
doing that for my Boston show. Like if it's a
show I'm headlining at a club, I'll I'm gonna.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Probably start doing it on every show except for one
that I have to do a shout out for.
Speaker 7 (28:35):
But here and here's, here's a thing and that. And
I get that these venues want us to promote. I
get that part, but we I mean, that's something we
inherently do anyway, because we're trying to tell people. We're
trying to build a fan base. You're trying to get
people out to a show, So you're gonna do that.
You should do that naturally, unless it's some rinkinging food
ass show you like, I'm not inviting nobody. It is so,
(28:56):
but it's almost like sometimes these venues want you to
take their job out of their hate adds. Yeah, you
promoted you, you sell the tickets, you come perform, and
we hope to get to get a big take out
of it, uh and pay you pennies on the dollar
for what you just need. So it's like, come on, man, y'all,
(29:16):
y'all have to meet us halfway somewhere. So increase increase
the pay on what you're performing with, and so we
can have a budget to do that, would you say,
or listen, we let us promote the way we promote.
Speaker 5 (29:31):
Yeah, And I I know Tyler, you know from being
friends with Tyler and like doing so many dope shows.
Speaker 2 (29:38):
He puts thousands into his ads.
Speaker 5 (29:42):
I know, Like, how do you And if you don't
want to say, I get it, But I was gonna say,
what's like on average for the year that you spay
spend on advertisement?
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Would you say a year? Yeah, over the.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Years, like more than what people make minimum? Wag Uh,
it's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
Fuck, dude, it's it's just and you'll turn out it's
a great.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Yeah sometimes sometimes like dude, sometimes, And like you just
really have to monitor them because like I didn't monitor
some ads because I got like thirteen or twenty going
on right now, just because I got a big month
and on April, so like all these ads are running,
and like one of them there's something fucked up with it,
(30:32):
and like results should be for me, like less than
a dollar, like way less than a dollar per result,
And this one was at fifteen bucks per result, And
I was like, what the fuck? So I had to
shut it down and rebuild it because I must have
sucked up something doing it. But or it's just like
that area is fucking tapped, or I don't know, it's
(30:54):
gotta keep a keep. It's just something that never stays consistent,
you know. Yeah, so he's gotta keep using with it.
But yeah, I know, I spent a fortune on that shit,
and I fucking hate it.
Speaker 2 (31:04):
Bro.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I wish I could just be famous and just put
out a post. But even then, even if you just
put out a post, like Facebook will be like, I
know you're trying to promote shit, and people think that
shit's boring, So I'm not gonna put it up there.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
So they should pay money, right, Victoria said, do you
think the Parlor Live did a good job advertising? I
have no idea because I was in charge of the
compast for the longest, and.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I mean they.
Speaker 6 (31:34):
Definitely advertised free tickets when they would pay for the room.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
I don't think they did a good job. I would
say no, just looking at other clubs and seeing how
other clubs like aren't bombarding with free tickets all the
time and like constantly emailing, and like the Parlor just
seem like if you were paying money to go to
a show there, you were a sucker tickest literally any show,
(32:02):
but unless it was somebody big. But yeah, I don't know.
It probably was a harder place to advertise and just
fill out just because it was in such a rich
neighborhood that it's you're not just going to a comedy
show like it's a movie night. It's like you're going
to a concert where it's going to cost parking food,
like it's a luxury night. So it's hard. It was hard.
(32:26):
It's a hard spot for the parlorment. Ultimate for going
out of business.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
Well that's that wasn't why they went out of business.
Speaker 7 (32:39):
Yeah, but I tell you, I will say this though,
to those to those clubs and venues that that get
it right and it makes all the difference in the world.
I mean, when you when you walking in and you
know that there's going to be a consistent audience every time,
then that's what That's what I love about the La
County Club because I'm like, man, they have very rarely
(33:00):
seen them under forty people in the room at a time.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
Right, And that's that's on an off night. Yeah, and
so but it's a.
Speaker 7 (33:09):
Joint venture because they not only promote for themselves, but
the casino promotes. So that's that's even dumber than me
when you have a because of course I had casino
shows before, where the casino isn't.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
He promoting what's going on inside of their venue? Like
what are you thinking?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
What are y'all think it? I mean they make more
money from the casinos.
Speaker 7 (33:30):
Why not get that part too? But get all the
money in. You know you're gonna be about the money.
Get all the money. You're leaving money on the table
not having I.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Feel like any show and a casino is just something
that the casino uses for, Like, you lost all your money,
Well to this comedy, why don't you go sit there,
chill out. There's those guys are funny, Yet twenty of
your friends.
Speaker 7 (33:59):
Then come the out done with the show is sit
back down and trying to win your money back.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
Yeah, it's like, are you in have you lost your
life savings? Are you depressed and in the worst mood
you could possibly be in.
Speaker 6 (34:10):
Oh, go to a comedy show, bro.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
I with no teeth talk for an hour, dude, I
love it.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
Though.
Speaker 5 (34:24):
I was going to ask both of you guys if
you I mean, I don't really do political shit, and
Carlos doesn't really.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
You know, uh do you you know, do you have
any political jokes? Tyler?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
I've been doing some lately, just because it's like everybody.
I feel like it's just kind of what everybody wants,
or it's just kind of a vibe like I don't know,
maybe it's just because I'm looking at too many politics myself.
That is just what I'm writing about right now. But
I've been trying to keep it super down the middle though.
Speaker 5 (34:57):
Okay, Well, what I was going to ask you is
if if any of either of you guys have had
any like uh, Trump running or Maga runnings or you know,
like Trump supporter runnings.
Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah. I had one when I went to Lake Havasu.
Oh shit, Yeah.
Speaker 7 (35:14):
And I shut that ship down very quickly because I
had said something about I think it's a bit where
I asked, do y'all think people are getting dumber and
dumber bout the day? And some dude was like, yeah,
the Democrats. And I was like, we're not gonna do that, sir.
I said, We're not about to do that. But he
had on his Trump hat and I was like, yeah,
I already know what this first. I already know where
I'm at. Yeah, yeah, it's not about I'm not about
(35:36):
to have this conversation because the crowd was in and
then so I'm not about to turn y'all the opposite way.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
So let me finish up with this whatever.
Speaker 7 (35:45):
I got twenty five minutes stuff, fifteen minutes off and
that's gonna get out of here and shake hands and
kiss babies and get.
Speaker 2 (35:50):
Out of But yeah, he was It was almost like
he was waiting on it though. The whole time. He
was just like, where's my spot? Right? Yeah, career. So
it's like, we're not gonna do that, sir, We're not
gonna do that. Have you had anything?
Speaker 1 (36:05):
Yeah, when I did Oregon, there was a bunch of
like Trump supporters and not Bend but the other one Roseberg.
But it was kind of funny because one of the
comics on the show is from Portland, super Liberal went
off on Elon. I had some funny jokes about him.
(36:25):
He called him aus twisticks and then, uh, the joke
that I've been kind of trying to work on that,
I feel like it's definitely like it's me trying to
be in the middle. But I bought Tesla stock h
(36:48):
and I bought it right before I bought it in
December because it was like it's doing well, and I'm
like Trump just got elected, like he's gonna go take
office in January. Elonsay's boy, I felt like Nancy Pelosi.
I'm like, you know now. I was like, I know
(37:09):
exactly what's gonna happen. So I bought a bunch of
Tesla stock and then it tagged it takes so Bad,
and he's like out there doing this Nazi salute, and
I'm like defending him because I'm trying to get my
money back. I'm like, come on.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
Like, no, no, he was just pointing to where the
stock was gonna rise up.
Speaker 1 (37:29):
This is the gas prices are, dude. He's not that
he doesn't like gas, remember, yeah.
Speaker 5 (37:43):
Dude, the stocks I mean, I mean, Carlos and I've
been talking about it, and I've been talking to Sean
about it.
Speaker 6 (37:48):
I'm like, Jesus Christ, it's just every day.
Speaker 5 (37:53):
I'm like, I had in videos fucking taking a beaten
and coinbase everything I sold. The actually sold like twenty
shares of Apple today because I was like, I might
just try and get out of fucking dealing with it
for right now.
Speaker 1 (38:10):
Yeah, I'm trying to buy it now, I guess because
it's like buy what just buying bitcoin and stock because
it's crashed, and I'm like, well, I might as well,
might as well just buy a little bit more, you know,
I already lost so much fucking money. Might as well
just throw some more on the pile, because this is
(38:31):
like then I would have bought it like a year ago.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
You know.
Speaker 1 (38:34):
I feel like it's a fucking sucker. Oh did it crash?
Maybe I should buy more.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
Than I Yeah, I have no idea what's gonna I mean,
it's it's crazy that we're not even we're not even too.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Are we two months in? No, we're not even not
even two full months?
Speaker 4 (38:52):
No?
Speaker 6 (38:53):
Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck? What's it gonna be
in a year? Holy shit?
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Buckle up, fellas, buckle up.
Speaker 7 (39:02):
They Yeah, it's my money and a mastress.
Speaker 5 (39:09):
I got one of those. Have you seen those box?
It's like a box and it has like like one
hundred little numbers, like it'll like one will be five,
one will be one hundred, and you put that in
there and then once you've checked every box.
Speaker 6 (39:22):
There's like ten grand in there.
Speaker 2 (39:24):
I've seen that. Knowing my luck, it'll fucking I'll get
right to ten grand. Then there'll be a fire. It's
just fucking hush.
Speaker 5 (39:34):
It's fucking just trying to figure it out, guys, I
don't know. Also, I got my album is coming out.
I have a special in an album working with Laugh
After Dark and John Tobin Presents. It's it's already edited,
got the art and everything. So the pre sale will
(39:55):
go on sale March tenth. The album's called Green Monster,
and then it will be released. The album will we'll
be released on Saint Patti's Day March seventeenth, and then
the special will be out March. I think it's twenty eighth.
But this was like two years ago, filmed in Boston,
(40:16):
so it's when I was a big boy, big boy,
so giant, Green Monster, Green Johnny and I still like.
I like this idea, but I was set on Thanks Victoria,
I was. I was kind of well, first I wanted
to name it. You'll understand why I didn't go with this,
(40:36):
but I wanted to name it mass for Massachusetts mass murderer.
Speaker 2 (40:44):
Murders. Maybe I'll save it for later.
Speaker 5 (40:46):
Another one, but then I was like, I'll go with
Green Monster, you know Green Irish Green Monsters, Boston thing,
and then Monster. I was I was a fucking monster then.
But dude, looking at the video, I mean it's it's
high quality. Everything's great quality. But god, I just non
stop sweating and then and uh, like I always was like, oh,
(41:10):
I'm just one of those people that sweats when he's
on stage. Like yeah, if you're if you have a
parka of fat all around the body, yeah, but I don't.
Speaker 2 (41:20):
I don't sweat anymore on stage. It's fucking nuts, dude.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
As a former big boy or as a boy that
goes up and down with his weight, I can tell
you when you're fatter, you definitely sweat more. And like
now I'm at like my, I'm at my my I'm
at like my my crack weight. This is where I
used to wait when I was like what are you at?
Speaker 6 (41:38):
Now?
Speaker 1 (41:40):
I'm like one sorry, two fifteen.
Speaker 2 (41:44):
Ship that's fucking great?
Speaker 6 (41:46):
Is that?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Like?
Speaker 1 (41:49):
Oh no, dude, in my high school I weighed like
I was close to three hundred in high school.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I was a big boy. Wait what we gotta see pictures? Yeah,
I was.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
I was like a football player, and I was just
I was very meaty, dude. I was like, I was
very meaty to you back then.
Speaker 5 (42:08):
I would have never guessed that just a big old
native slash North African, Swedish.
Speaker 1 (42:19):
Apparently some Swedish, German, Dutch Scottish. If you just mix
all the whites together, you get a minority.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Oh fuck, that's fucking crazy. I never knew that you
were fat in high school. Yeah, boy, I never knew
you were fat in high school.
Speaker 1 (42:40):
But I could wear a jacket on stage now, and
I fucking love that, dude.
Speaker 5 (42:45):
Dude, it's it's it surprises me, like how I just
like I'll be in Florida.
Speaker 6 (42:51):
It doesn't matter.
Speaker 2 (42:52):
I just don't sweat on stage now. And uh it's nice,
really nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:58):
I'm coming up on the end of my I only
got a couple more weeks left.
Speaker 2 (43:03):
What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1 (43:04):
I don't know. I think I might start like doing
cocaine again or something.
Speaker 2 (43:10):
That'll do it.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (43:16):
The other one in Carlos White Girl, white Girl, cocaine,
bogus sugar, white.
Speaker 2 (43:21):
Girl isn't there. There's like, what's it called he him,
which is like or no him her.
Speaker 5 (43:27):
I think it is. It's like a knockoff ozempic. It's
basically like the equivalent of what are those like blue
chew is to viagra, Like what I understand her him
or whatever is the like the ozempic version.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
Interesting her him there's like him or him her website.
It's like a just a health company. But you can
get semi glue tie is like the generic version of zempic,
and it's super affordable. You can get it anywhere you want.
I'm but you're only supposed to take it for six months.
Oh oh, stop taking it unless you're diabetic. But I'm
(44:05):
not diabetic, so uh, you shouldn't quit cold turkey on ozembic.
Yeah no, I'm on my I'm phasing down right now.
I am my last. Like it's just gonna be like
less and less and then I'll be off of it
and then I'll be back to eating normal.
Speaker 5 (44:25):
Yeah, Angels on it because but she's diabetic and yeah,
it's it's interesting, like because it's almost like how we're
the same as far as our eating habits. Where we're
not we won't be hungry and shit like that and
just can only eat a little bit.
Speaker 1 (44:39):
I saw in the news that they said thirteen percent
of America has tried or is on ozempic or a
semi glue tide and it's decimating the restaurant industry right now. Wow,
which I'm like, wait, how you mean that we were
so fat as a name? We were unhealthily like inflating
(45:05):
richer exactly. I opened a doughnut shop. I'm selling so
many a day.
Speaker 5 (45:13):
Yeah, that's all the ozempic people are going to open
up shit for the people. I can't get on the ozempic.
Speaker 6 (45:19):
Oh.
Speaker 5 (45:19):
I wanted to tell you though, on the album, I
didn't go with this, but it would have been it
could have been dope. But I also was thinking what
would have been funny as if I named this this
album that's about to come out when I was fat,
name that one before and then my next album after.
That's fun But I think I'm gonna name the next
(45:41):
one uh so brave. So I don't know, we'll see,
I don't know who knows, but anyways, that comes out.
Pre Orders are the tenth and then it comes out
the seventeenth. Laugh after Dark Productions John Tobin presents, and
hopefully we can get it to the number one spot
(46:01):
for Amazon or Apple Music and uh.
Speaker 2 (46:04):
He's gonna get there. We'll see. Yes, come on, baby,
come on baby.
Speaker 5 (46:08):
I'll be pushing a lot like the horror that I
wore that I am all right. Uh, let's do our
plugs and then I gotta get out of here. But uh,
I'll let you go first. Carlitos.
Speaker 7 (46:20):
Uh this week and I am in Pachonga, Oh Dope
with Jay, and then after that we are in Boston
with Jay. I'm at the La Comedy Club tonight. Then
I'm also I got some doptails. I got some Jimmy
Kimmel's coming up. Uh just picked up headlining at Dallas
(46:40):
Comedy Club in June. So check out part time Famous
dot com. We were moving and shaking over here.
Speaker 6 (46:46):
You're Tyler.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
I got dope shows this month at my regular clubs
Tacoma and Spokane and in Seattle on the twenty second
and twenty ninth. But I'm just gonna start promoting this
every week up until when it happens. A bunch of
dope shows happening on four to twenty coming up month
and a half away. Eatam Claw, the eighteenth, nineteenth, North Bend,
(47:12):
twentieth We got Everett Tacoma and Spokane. Get your tickets.
We're gonna have a really fun lineup for each one
of those shows.
Speaker 5 (47:20):
Yeah, and I will be in Pachanga this weekend, Jingle Casino, Temecula,
then next weekend Boston, mass Big Rshan Friends Show Me Carlos,
Anthony Khalia McNeil, Todd Royce weekend after that Boise Idaho
Lounge at the End of the Universe. Places coming up Santabel, Florida,
(47:43):
West Jordan, Utah, Philadelphia, PA, Saint Paul, Minnesota. Go to
big RSJ dot com slash shows, or you can just
go to big RSJ dot com click the show's link
and all the tickets are in there, all the ticket links.
And then also I will be promoting the album Pretty
Hardcore over the next so you can be annoyed by that.
Speaker 2 (48:07):
And until next week.
Speaker 5 (48:09):
Thanks for tuning in, And uh, goodbye from your white
black and.
Speaker 2 (48:16):
I don't know Tyler Smith, just.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
A bunch white.
Speaker 5 (48:24):
Apparently we got to get the second one. We got
to get your second one. And see what that says.
Speaker 1 (48:28):
All right, we'll take another test and hopefully I'll be
a minority.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Until next week.
Speaker 5 (48:38):
If you if a person fucking listens to this till
the end. You deserve a prize. Your prize is to
go to iTunes and rate.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Review this podcast given five stars. You motherfuckers.
Speaker 4 (48:53):
Fucking say some nice you Fox, You motherfuckers. You know
this fucking piece of shit for five years, that averaging
about two fucking reviews a year.
Speaker 5 (49:13):
Go fucking write some motherfuckers.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Oh fuck, that is the realest time I've ever heard you,
yeah do What the fuck
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