HollingsWorthless Program - Ep. 290

Jay talks about crazy auditions and "surviving" in Hollywood and they fellas talk about Kanye and social media race wars.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
What do you want to say something about your show?

Speaker 2 (00:05):
I shot on myself in the womb.

Speaker 1 (00:06):
Stop Phil, you fucking stink.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
You know what? Fuck this.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Because it's Hollings worth but it's worth less.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
I don't want to hear about whatever you have to say,
the worthless of the week. You're just gonna sit up
there the whole time, Phil, Fox Scorpion. It's a move man,
You fucking dummy. Then what the fuck? House of Race?
Black people? Just shoot me? Now? What's up? Everybody? Welcome

(00:46):
to the hollings With this program. I'm one of your hosts,
Big Irs, Jay Hollings With. As usual, we have today
the Dynamic duo Dumb and Dumber, the two man group,
just the two of us. He took the d out
of d E. I. He's d E. White. We call
him the one box check man. He's now very cancelable.

(01:13):
The I'm not racist, Tyler, don't call me Joseph Smith.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Could be back, Jay could be back.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Yay you missed, Yeah, missed you. I'm glad. I'm glad
you are back. And we got some topics and I
put some in there. I know you you said you
had some, but you didn't put him in the thing.
What up? B s Jeffrey. You didn't put him in
the thing, so I don't know how many topics you had,
if we should start with yours or mine or whatever?
You know?

Speaker 1 (01:40):
The office chair?

Speaker 2 (01:42):
The office chair? The fuck is that?

Speaker 1 (01:46):
That's the first one on the list.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Oh uh what, I'm not showing it?

Speaker 1 (01:54):
I got office chair. Seattle school shooting news update from
photo Steve. The YouTube link.

Speaker 2 (02:02):
NASA wants to Oh wait, no, I don't know. I
don't know what you're looking at. Oh this is the
old one. This is uh, there's a new one. Okay,
that's fine. Okay, let's get let's go, let's go hit
it off. I see the one. I'm with you.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
We update our keep list, and I'm not on it.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
You are, I'm pretty sure. But anyways, who gives a fuck?
I got it. I'm with you now, buddy. Hell yeah,
what is the office chair?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
I don't know. I didn't put that on the lists.
I didn't put any of this on the list.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Seattle school closing?

Speaker 1 (02:40):
Is that you None of this is me?

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Okay? News updates from photo Steve.

Speaker 1 (02:49):
That might have been me. Actually, I don't.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Know what the fuck that is. If you go into
HW anyways, NASA wants are these your topic? No? Oh okay,
that's Jeffrey. Okay, go to just do it. Yeah, you're
on this other one HWP topics and uh it's you
and Carlos, Me, you and Carlos. It's just us. The

(03:14):
one that you were looking at has Phil and Sean.
Oh oh, anyways, whatever, what do you? What do you go?

Speaker 1 (03:27):
Easter? That's the only one of that's on there.

Speaker 2 (03:29):
No, it says management and reality shows.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, whatever, anyways, what's your what's your? What do you got?
Where do you want me to go?

Speaker 1 (03:42):
You can go first. Mine's too spicy to start the podcast.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Well, I'm well, two things so and I don't know
how much I can say one of them. One of them,
I'm I've been approached by Management Group to be managed,
which I'm a pretty excited about. So in my career
there's been different times that I've I've had I've had managers,

(04:11):
I've had agents, I've had commercial agents, et cetera. And
it's funny when I first moved to La, my buddy
Dave shout out Dave Neil who has a great podcast.
But Dave, when I was new in La, we were
doing open mics and he was like, oh, you want
you want to talk to my agents, you know, since

(04:32):
you don't have one. So I was like sure. So
I met with these two dudes and that's they got
me the two broke girls thing that ended up getting
cut where I had to kiss the dude right right
DS Jeffy, You're funny. And and then I filmed a pilot.
Nobody got me this. I don't even remember how I

(04:53):
got submitted for it, how it came about, but I
I did a pilot with Howie Mandel. It was uh
and JD Witherspoon, who's a great dude, great comic. But
it was like a kind of like, what's that Rob
show on MTV? What's his name? Rob?

Speaker 1 (05:14):
Deerdrek God, I can never I've never seen it, but
it's the Tosh point zero ridiculous or something.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
Yes, yeah, ridiculousness. It's uh, it was kind of from
my understanding, it was like we watched some clips and
then when we'd comment on it and everything, and at
the time, uh, how I didn't have an agent. Howie
Mendel He's like, oh man, you're really funny. You kept
saying that, so you know, being a comic, and I
was like fucking with him. I was like, well, if
you if you think you can follow this heat, you know,

(05:42):
you should take me out on the road, just around.
And then eventually it got to one point where he's like,
he's like, do you have a manager? I was like no,
and he's like, oh, you should talk to my I
guess his well not, I guess his wife and another
lady have a management company. So he's like, you should
meet with them. So I was like all right, I mean,
so I met with them and they asked me like

(06:03):
what I was wanting, what I'm looking for? This is
all just like inside ball, just for people that aren't
in Wait.

Speaker 1 (06:08):
How long ago is this Howie Mandel interaction?

Speaker 2 (06:12):
This I want to say, Okay, probably it's twenty twenty
five now, I'd say about seven eight years ago.

Speaker 1 (06:20):
Oh all right, so just like, hey, my my wife's
going to reach out to you. And then a decade later, oh.

Speaker 2 (06:29):
No, no, no, I know she was there at his
like at this place that we for thinking what I'm Natasha?
So I met with I met with Howie Mendel's wife
and this other lady, and they were asking me, you know,
like what I'm what are my goals and what I
want to accomplish and this and that, and they did
a hard press and they were like, yeah, we're all
for it, et cetera. And then I was with them

(06:50):
for about six months. And you want to guess how
many gigs I got and how many things I got submitted.

Speaker 1 (06:58):
For Zero gigs, zero submissions.

Speaker 2 (07:04):
And you are one correct, dude. I literally did not
get they didn't. I never after they were like, yeah,
we're all for it, we want to we want to
represent you. I never heard from them again until like
six or seven months later. I get an email from
him that was like, hey, so it looks like this

(07:27):
isn't working out. I'm like, yeah, it does seem like that.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (07:35):
And then and then like two weeks after that, they
sent me an email that were like, hey, I know
that we were saying we part ways whatever, but uh,
you might be a good fit for this thing and
if you get it, then we would just honor the same.
I was like, okay, cool. So the they finally submitted
me for something after they said they didn't want to,
that we should part ways, and then I didn't get that. Oh.

(07:56):
I also did have aqua Talent was I was with
Awqua Talent for a while, which was like a commercial agent,
and that was because of John Reep. John Reep vouched
for me and got me interviewed and then and then
they repped me and didn't get anything from that. Then
I was with Rain for commercial agent, and I got
I got a few commercials and like I did an

(08:18):
NBA commercial, I did a w D forty commercial, some
other stuff. But yeah, this, uh, and then I've been
approached recently by a management company, h prior to the
one that I'm talking with right now. And uh, and
I'm I'm intentionally being a little vague, like I don't

(08:41):
want to until it's a done deal. I don't want
to say anything, you know, obviously, But this other management
company had approached me and we actually took him. We
met or we had a meeting. And so do you
know how like like management works, like as far as
like what they do, what they get and all that.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
Tyler, Yeah, yeah, they promise you the world and then
take ten percent of everything that you do on your own.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Well yeah, okay, so well, I mean it could be
ten percent is kind of low. I mean usually I've
heard fifteen twenty percent. I've heard, dude, there's a Sean
was telling me a story about Carrot Top where I
guess his agent got him a gig or something or
whatever or was like working on something and he wanted

(09:33):
fifty percent and Carrot Top was like, Nah, that's fucking crazy,
and he goes, Okay, he goes, that's cool. You can
you can have fifty percent of this residency or you
can have one hundred percent of nothing. And yeah, from

(09:54):
that's what that was the story relayed to me from Sean.
You know, I don't obviously I don't know Carrot Top
and haven't verified that, but and there was somebody else
that i'd heard that there was like fifty percent. But
uh yeah, this first management company I moved or I
spoke with since I've lived here in Vegas, I think
they were ten percent or fifteen percent. But there was

(10:16):
just there were certain things that I was like a
little uncomfortable with, you know, because the big fear. But
like this is just what transparency that's the word. Yeah,
So the level I'm at right now or the I
guess the not fame but my social media presence or like,
you know, I don't know what the you know what

(10:38):
I'm saying, I don't know the fucking word I'm trying
to use basically, the not the poll I have, but
the level I'm at. We'll just say that. You know,
I think my big fear with any of anything like
this or with the management company is that you say, Okay,
I'm all for it, let's do it, and as the talent,

(11:01):
your hope is like they're going to get you all this,
these these gigs you know that you didn't get before,
and it's great. And then the fear is is that
they don't get you any new gigs and you're just
doing the same gigs you were doing before, but now

(11:21):
you're giving you know, ten, fifteen, twenty percent to a manager.
But I'm I'm really excited about this management company, and
I've told them too, Like I I watched this there's
a very rich businessman that was talking about like people always,
you know, they think, oh, if you work hard, then
things will happen. And he said, it's not about working

(11:43):
hard and then you get lucky. He goes, it's about
you got to be a risk taker and be willing
to take those risks and be willing to fail and
then keep going and take additional risks. So this whole year,
I didn't say this to anybody, but it just in
my own head. I was like, well, I want to
I want to try and do some things differently, you know.

(12:05):
And that was one of the things I've told this
this management company, is like, I want to learn. I
want to I want to take their advice or take
their input. And you know, what do you what do
you think I should be doing? What should is there
things I should be changing doing differently? And I'm all
and I want to be like like Jim Carrey and yes, ma'am,
just be like, yes, let's do it. I'll fucking I'll

(12:25):
trust you, and uh and go for there. Trust me.
We can work hard at failure. Yeah, bs Jeffrey. Uh.
But yeah, that's the that's the big I think, the big,
big concern of any comic or or talent, you know,
when they're signing with a management company. But I'm pretty

(12:48):
happy with this management company. And we're just we're working
out the finals on this, the the agreement, and so
maybe next episode I can announce that it's a done
deal and who I'm I'm repped by after that. But yeah,
just a little transparency of what's going on with my
life right now, and and then there's another thing, but

(13:11):
I can come back to it. Thanks Natasha. That's also
a development skill. So you're already winning. What's a development skill?
The taking risks? Or I appreciate the compliment, but I
don't know what you mean. What's that's also a development skill?

(13:35):
So you're already willing winning My other thing though, I
can talk about after your thing, you can get to
your stuff. Oh, risk taking is a development skill? Gotcha? Okay, yeah,
thank you Natasha.

Speaker 1 (13:50):
I just got what was the two things I was
going to talk about, like the race war and there's
something else.

Speaker 2 (13:57):
Of cruse.

Speaker 1 (13:59):
He this is just topics. Oh yeah, you didn't listen
to it.

Speaker 2 (14:06):
I know the title of it and have no desire
to listen to it or any I. I watched there's
a some famous streamer or whatever that he had somebody
else on and he's Jewish and he had this black
dude on his on his show, and the the black
dude was like singing, not singing it, but he was
like humming that song, Kanye's new song, and the Jewish

(14:30):
dude goes, yo, what is that? What do you what
are you doing? And and like he was legitimately and
justifiably upset, and so the guy, the Jewish dude walked
off the podcast.

Speaker 1 (14:42):
Oh wow, yeah, yeah, I want to be humming that
song around anybody. It is catchy, though, like he dropped
a bop bro like it's Kanye.

Speaker 2 (14:57):
He's no, make sure you that's that's right where I
cut it. He's back, baby, tune in to the next
episode of Tyler's Getting canceled. Dude.

Speaker 1 (15:13):
It's so unfortunate what he's saying about, because I love Kanye,
you know, like pre covid Kanye.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
You like old Kanye.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Old Kanye is great, man. I love a lot of
his music. And then it was like he's dropping this
new song and it is catchy, but it's so fucking horrible.
It's so horrible.

Speaker 2 (15:33):
Yeh.

Speaker 1 (15:34):
But I've been seeing it a lot because people are
posting it like crazy.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
I just yeah, it does suck though, because college are
not Through the Through the Wire is one of my
one of my all time favorite songs, and it's like, yeah,
I just I fucking I can't do it anymore. I
just you know, I know some people are like, oh,
separate the art from the artists and this and that,
and I'm good. I'm cool. I mean, you know whatever,

(16:03):
whatever anybody what they do for themselves or what they
value or how they look at it. I won't judge
him that that's your thing, but just me personally, I'm
just like, I'm cool. It's sung because, like I said,
I love the song through the Wire. But he.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
They're taking away his fine arts degree that he got. Uh,
what's it when they give you an honorary.

Speaker 2 (16:29):
Degree or no, fuck, I can't remember. I know what
you're talking about, though, Like, yeah, I think.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
It's like an honorary degree. So he didn't go to
school there, but they're taking away his art degree. And
people are like, ah, maybe that's not a good idea.

Speaker 2 (16:45):
What taking away his art degree?

Speaker 1 (16:47):
Yeah, that's like something they did to Hitler.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
They did that to Hitler too. Well.

Speaker 1 (16:53):
Hitler was trying to be an artist, but he was
a failed artist, so I think, I don't know, it's
like he was like a painter, right, He's like a
painter and like failed and you know people he took
his art degree. Well, I think if they just gave
him more of an artistic chance, then we would have
a museum of dog paintings instead of a museum of shoes.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
You know, Oh god, oh my god, yikes. Fuck yeah,
it's a wi Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Hitler was rejected from our school.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
There you go, okay, gotcha?

Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah, but there was somebody was posting the because Kanye
made a music video for this song Jesus Christ, and
he put out a listing for the type of actors
he wanted. He's like, I need black men volunteers in
great physical shape, with a complexion as dark as Sean

(17:55):
Sean Diddy or darker, and then also must be highly
willing to wear a swashed.

Speaker 2 (18:03):
Just like Jesus Christy.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
It's so wild that this is happening because you know
that there's gonna be people that are like, I got
I just need one more gig. I just need to shit.

Speaker 2 (18:14):
So it's so crazy you say that, because I was
just going to say, like, I mean, we see it
in comedy, like how many times, Like dude, I remember
when I uh I up there in Seattle, I forget who.
Somebody had opened up a room but the pay was
ship and like all the local headliners and everything were like,
don't do the gig because what it does is it

(18:35):
sets a precedent, but everybody, and then everybody would follow
up with there's always going to be somebody that'll be like,
fuck it, I'll do it, you know. And uh, that's
the same with the with the acting and shit, they'll
be there'll be multiple people that'll go out for that.
They'll be And dude, I I got around the two
Broke Girls thing around that time. I got I used

(18:57):
to tell the joke about it where I was going
to play. I got a role playing the demon statue
in Hell right, and then I, you know, they say, oh,
we're gonna have you go shirtless, and I was like,
I don't even fuck shirtless. Well I don't. I don't
know if you know. Do you know the rest of
that story or what happened with that? I know, Okay.
So I didn't have an agent at the time, so
I was just submitting to thing like casting things. And

(19:20):
and it was when I first moved to LA and again,
you're just just like you said, you're just trying to
survive in LA. You know, you're you're taking everything. So
I saw this thing. It was like looking for people
six six and above big, you know, with this big
or whatever. And so for a horror movie that was
pretty much like all it said. So I was like
submit and they're like, come in. We did a makeup

(19:41):
test and they're like, cool, we're gonna have you play
a demon statue in Hell. Whatever. Then they I got
an email that was like, hey, we're delaying the shoot.
We're moving it out to a week or whatever. Blah
blah blah. Also, here's the updated script. And I started
looking through the script and I was like, oh, I'm
not doing this because there was like a scene of

(20:03):
a nun like being raped in Hell and like and
like really grab it. I was like, I'm good, I'm good.
I was just like I'm good. So you're just.

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Thinking that you could, uh, you know, rape this nun
with your shirt on?

Speaker 2 (20:23):
I reply, do I have to have the shirt off?
That is so funny. Hey, I'm cool with the rape
and the nun in Hell, but I draw the line
at shirt.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
I told you I'm not taking my shirt off.

Speaker 2 (20:40):
I have standards so fucking stupid. That's so funny, dude.
And then I do I told I don't mean to hijack.
Keep going with your thing. We'll come back to it.
The other thing.

Speaker 1 (20:57):
I mean. That's basically it just the whole thing is ridiculous.
But well, it's just the whole thing that is. It's
there's no denying that this is a decent song, but
it's just the messaging behind it is terrible. And it's
just like, I don't know, it's wild, dude.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Uh and uh. I remember when I was living in
Hawthorne and Roger Lozzola. It was me, Roger Lozzola and
Kyle and I submitted for it. Was like it was
a reality show and they were saying like they were
looking for big dudes. So I submitted and pretty much
that was it. It was just saying looking for big
guys over certain height and weight. So I submitted for it.

(21:37):
I do a zoom meeting with this dude and he's like, yeah,
so this reality show it pits like big guys against
average sized guys. And and as he's telling me this
and it's like a competition, and I as he's talking
to me, I'm like, wait, is this just like a
let's make fun of the fat guy? You know, fat
guys in this show? And he's like no, no, no,

(21:58):
it's like an empowering show. Blah blah blah, and uh,
and I'm like, and he's like, it's to show that
big guys can do anything that average sized guys can do.
And I go, I said to the go, I go,
but we can't. I was like, if you have like
a rock climbing, we're just all going to be watching them,
you know. I'm like, we can't. But he kept trying
to say, like, no, it's an empowering you know, blah

(22:19):
blah blah. So I was like, all right, I'll keep listening.
I set up a second Zoom meeting and I remember
it so vividly. I'm at the improv in La at
like four o'clock because I had to show at like six.
So I have my laptop there and the guy is
talking to me, like how we're talking where? This is
what I see on cameras. Him at a desk, and
behind him is a lady that's kind of like walking

(22:42):
back and forth, and every once in a while she'll
she'll chime in. She'll lean down and chine in, chime
in or whatever. So he's telling me again about the show,
and he's like, Okay, can you talk? Can you like
talk smack to the skinny guys, be like, hey, you
skinny guys, and blah blah. So I was just like, okay,
So I did a little bit of that, and then
I I said to him because it was just given
a weird vibe, and again I was like, okay, is

(23:05):
this like make fun of the fat guys? No? No, No,
it's empowering. Blah blah blah blah. As soon as he's
finishing the sentence about how it's empowering, the lady behind
him drops down into frame and she says to me.
She goes, okay, and now for the camera, can you
lift your shirt up and do a truffle shuffle? And
I just go, yeah, this isn't for me. I appreciate it,

(23:28):
but I got my own brand I gotta worry about.
I'm good. So and I ended that. But, like you
were saying, such.

Speaker 1 (23:34):
A funny dynamic, because it's so clearly he's like I
work with HR and the she's like lead project and
she's like, just fucking say it, just say it. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
But like you said, the next man up, there's thousands
in LA that will do anything. They don't give a fuck,
and I just I can't do it like I would.
You know, there's certain things I just I will would
not do and will never do like take my shirt off,
get it anyway? Sorry?

Speaker 1 (24:07):
Asking what is a truffle shuffle? Here?

Speaker 2 (24:10):
Let me show you from Goonies? It was what was
the dude's name in Goonies, the fat dude?

Speaker 1 (24:21):
Oh man, what was his name? No, not Chunk?

Speaker 2 (24:26):
Was it Chunk?

Speaker 1 (24:28):
Was it Chunk?

Speaker 2 (24:31):
Goonies? Let me see Goonies Goonies truffle?

Speaker 1 (24:38):
Yeah, it was Chunk, Lawrence Cohen called Chunk.

Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, and uh, it's basically you lift your shirt up
and then you scrunched down your stomach and you fucking
that's a that's a truffle shuffle.

Speaker 1 (24:51):
That's yeah, it's it's humiliating.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
It's humiliating or empowering according to this reality show.

Speaker 1 (24:59):
Yeah, I don't think anybody who's empowering Chunk when they're like,
could you just do the truffle shuffle? It's really empowering
for you to do this that. It's so funny. Have
you seen you know who Nathan Fielder.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
Is for you?

Speaker 1 (25:16):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Yeah, I love him.

Speaker 1 (25:18):
Love him? Right, So he's doing another show on HBO
right now called The Rehearsal.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
Yes, I saw I saw an episode of it.

Speaker 1 (25:26):
Right, So this one's way different than Nathan for you,
way more like meta on the whole. This is a
prank thing because like the new season he's filming, it's
all about plane crashes and how he's like come up
with this theory about how these crashes are happening because

(25:46):
the pilots aren't communicating with each other. And he's trying
to present it to the FAA and like airports as
he's filming a project to boost aviation safety and they're like,
how are you doing that because he said, like, we're
trying to give it an honest attempt at you know,

(26:08):
at aviation safety. And she's like, what do you mean
my honest attempt And he's like, well, it's got to
be slightly entertaining because it is for HBO, And they're like,
oh okay. But it's like, you know, it's one just
a comedy where he's fucking with people, right, and it
like now it's just basically the rehearsal is where they
do the same event repeatedly to get somebody trained for

(26:29):
a real life event. Uh, It's it's so weird and bizarre.

Speaker 2 (26:34):
I loved it. The one I saw it was like
it was a he had like a layout of a
dude's apartment. Yeah, yeah, I love it. It's it is
very like like Nathan Nathan for You was great where
he would like he would come up with like problem
solvings for like not real problems.

Speaker 1 (26:58):
You know, that episode blew my mind because the one
of the apartments that were just talking about, Yeah, because
they filmed the four like five apartments. They're all identical,
and they're all multiple actors playing the guy that they're
trying to help him get a date, and then they
have multip actress playing the women, and they're like, just

(27:18):
do whatever's natural on this date, and we're just gonna
film the entire thing. So like every actor couple is
just you know, doing a date, and like three of
them like end up just like becoming sexual, Like they're
making out, taking shirts off, like just really going at it.
And he's like invited the boyfriends of the female actresses

(27:41):
to watch on set and then interview them about what
they think about their partner doing this, And it's just
you watching this guy watch his girlfriend make out with
somebody for like fucking nothing. Like it's a bullshit project.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
The whole thing's bullshit. So I got I didn't see
those I got to see that.

Speaker 1 (28:00):
It's like the next episode, it's it's wild. So like
these actresses and actors are just like making out with
each other topless, and their boyfriend and girlfriend are just
watching in the other room. Jesus Chris, and he's just like,
are you okay with it? And he's like, yeah, it's
just acting. Uh So then he's like, oh, you could
separate yourself if it's acting. So maybe if we just

(28:22):
pretend that we're acting during the flight, Like that's how
he's tying it back to the whole flight thing, but
just the whole watching your partner make out with somebody
on camera. I'm like, I could not do that.

Speaker 2 (28:34):
You could not. I mean, like a peck cool, but
like makeout. Nah, I'm good wild. It would be tough,
would be tough. Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:50):
That's why I don't like dating anybody in the entertainment industry.
I'm like, I want to date a normal person with
a normal job, which is normal shit. I'll be the
one that's doing weird shit.

Speaker 2 (29:03):
Yeah yeah, but I'm not.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
I'm not even doing weird shit. I don't like acting.

Speaker 2 (29:09):
So I'm like, yeah, now, what was the what was
the hate crime? Thing you were talking about.

Speaker 1 (29:14):
Oh man, So the internet's going crazy right now for
these two stories that have happened that are basically showcasing
the extremes of racism in our country towards white and
black people.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Oh I bet I can. I think I can guess
both of them.

Speaker 1 (29:36):
So the white well, we'll start with the black one
because I want started first. So what happened in this case? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Uh? Is this where the white lady called the five
year old the N word?

Speaker 1 (29:49):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Okay, okay, go ahead and take it from there. I
just wanted to guess that's.

Speaker 1 (29:53):
The second story. This is the first story. So the
first story is about a black kid and a high
school in Texas stabbed a white kid and killed him.
And the story was that the black kid was in
the cheer section for the other school. They asked him
to leave, he turned violent, stabbed a white kid, white

(30:15):
kid died, and now it's all about race now, at
least that's what like the lawyers are kind of making
it out to be not of the white family. The
white family's like, we're not making this about race. Is
just like, you know, our kid's dead and you fucking
your kids responsible type of thing. Okay, So the black kid,
his family started to GoFundMe for his trial and his lawyers,

(30:40):
and that GoFundMe has raised over half a million dollars.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
Jesus.

Speaker 1 (30:47):
But you know, when you donate to a GoFundMe, you
can write a little note.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
Oh no, okay, you want to guess.

Speaker 1 (30:53):
With those notes, Uh, they're pretty much like kill BLM,
fuck white people, like finally got one, you know, just
like all these horrible things. So that's happening in Texas
right now. And then on the other side of the country,
I think this is up in like Minnesota. A white

(31:15):
lady was at the playground with her toddler and then
a black kid stole a toy from him, and then
she went off the well, the kid was five, right,
they're five. These are let's not.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Say the kids stole a to like he's just being
a five year old. But he took a right, he took.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
A toy from another kid. In that parent's mind, she
stole that child's toy or whatever.

Speaker 2 (31:43):
This criminal stole.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
Whatever you want to say. I'm just recording the news.

Speaker 2 (31:52):
I got you.

Speaker 1 (31:54):
So this little fucking thief.

Speaker 2 (31:59):
God, I wish Carlos is here.

Speaker 1 (32:01):
This kid he's stole from the white kid, and the
white mom called him the N word and then started
calling everybody at the park the N word. Just like
as people start filming her started canceling her. She's going off,
she's just shooting from the hip, just incredibly racist. So
the people that filmed her posted it and they're trying

(32:23):
to cancel her, and then it came out kind of wild.
But the guy that filmed her shouldn't even be at
the park because he's a registered sex offender. But no
big dealt a little side note in the story, so
people don't really care about what he's saying. But she

(32:43):
is claiming that she lost her livelihood, her husband lost
her livelihood, they got doxxed, and they're starting a GoFundMe
to reset their lives, and they have also raised half
a million dollars and the comments are the exact opposite
of the comments for the other one. And now it's
just this race war on the internet to who can

(33:04):
raise more money for racism, And it's just so shitty
that this is how our country has like turned out
to be, Like we couldn't be raising money for people
that were doing good things, Like we can't do that.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Well, we can't.

Speaker 1 (33:19):
Have a we can't have a positive race war. Why
do they got to be so naked?

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well there's also another thing. Now let me preface it
by saying, I don't know all the details. Uh, and
I haven't looked into it. So this is a very
thousand foot overview. But did you do you know about
the the father, the black father that killed the white
cop that had or he killed a white cop because

(33:46):
a cop had killed his black son. Right? Do you
know about this? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (33:51):
I heard about that.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
Okay. Now I don't know all the details. I know
that the father did not kill the cop that killed
his son.

Speaker 1 (33:59):
He just killed a cop, right and or something?

Speaker 2 (34:05):
Yeah? And and I don't like, I don't remember the
son had he'd done a crime. I believe Actually I
should just look it up.

Speaker 1 (34:16):
I mean, it's fair because that cop didn't mean to
kill his son. He just wanted to kill a black guy.

Speaker 2 (34:21):
Jesus Christ. Okay, here it is, I'm reading this. Rodney
Hinton Junior is accused of fatally striking a sheriff's deputy
with his car after his son, Ryan H. Hinton was
shot and killed by police. Authorities alleged the father acted intentionally,
and he was denied bond while awaiting trial on the

(34:43):
murder charge. The situation unfolded after his disturbance in court,
with the father reportedly grieving the loss of his son,
who was eighteen years old. I'm trying to see chaos
at hearing it. That's in Ohio. I'm trying to find
about what what was the original thing? Uh? Natasha said

(35:06):
one million plus for a race war when we could
have used that money for slurch.

Speaker 1 (35:09):
I know we could have done a startup.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
While the iron's hot or whip or the whip is
lashing or whatever. Jesus, Rice, Natasha, oh man, Jesus, I'd
just like to stay here at the hallings with us.
I was just reading the comment that I was reading
a comment from a beautiful black woman that has a
sense of humor that I did. I was just I

(35:36):
was just being an echo. I was just relaying.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Jesus, Wow, Jake, I can't believe you said that. Uh.

Speaker 2 (35:45):
And speaking of which, Natasha, we have another slurred speech today,
don't Uh. We were talking about doing it.

Speaker 1 (35:52):
But I'll get what's set up for next week. Okay,
all right, They're like they're all gonna be AI from
now for from Moving Forward. It's all gonna be yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:01):
Dude, Yeah, it's it is. I mean, the world right
now is insane. Anyways, we got a fucking president's getting
a four hundred million dollar jet. He's falling asleep like
all that everybody talked about is how crazy or looney
and and dementia fucking Biden, but dementia dawn over here
is falling asleep and fucking dude, it's just we're fucked.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
It's a flying retirement home. I think that's a nice gift.
The Lord speech, the Kanye edition, Oh my god, dude,
I'm gonna get a Kanye AI s intro that.

Speaker 2 (36:40):
All right, I'll let you handle that.

Speaker 1 (36:41):
Uh yeah, I'll figure out.

Speaker 2 (36:45):
Okay, Oh the I have another talk, but do you
have more on that or no?

Speaker 1 (36:50):
That was it?

Speaker 2 (36:51):
Just it is, fucking dude, it's so wow. I mean, like,
you know, like the stock my stocks finally went up
since Kane, not Kane, fucking Kane, since Trump came into office.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
I meant to say, like, I'm up, hello with bitcoin now.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
I'm up. Coinbase fucking finally went up, and dude, I've
been upside down literally since he came into office, and
today's the first day that my ship finally is positive.

Speaker 1 (37:22):
It's funny because I bought at the peak because I'm like,
I can't miss out. I'm just gonna buy it's gonna
go up. So I bought it peak, but I didn't
buy much, yeah, because I'm like, I'll just I'm throwing
in a couple bucks and we'll just see how this
investment turns out. And then it just immediately shipped the bed.
I bought like literally, I think I bought like ten
dollars of Tesla because I'm like, let's just I'm gonna

(37:45):
this is my own like keeping an eye on elon Is.
I'm gonna put ten dollars down and I'm gonna see
how much money that motherfucker's making type of thing, you know,
And now it's it's four dollars. But I have in Tesla.
I own four dollars of Tesla. Don't fucking paying a
swashi cut of my Toyota. But I'm just saying I'm
keeping an eye on the government the only way I
know how with ten dollars. Okay, Oh, I bought one

(38:09):
hundred dollars a bitcoin and it was at one oh
four but then it dropped down to seventy five, so
I ended up buying like like a ton more. I
just kept buying it. Every day we go down five rand,
I would buy another like one hundred dollars worth, and
now it's back to one oh four, so I'm like
up a couple hundred bucks, which is nice.

Speaker 2 (38:26):
That's great, that's great. No, dude, it's like we should
be getting money for the fucking anxiety I feel every
day and just out over us. But I'm oops, sorry,
reality shows. I was gonna tell you about another thing
one I might actually I should before I talk about it,

(38:47):
I should oop, Oops, I'm cutting out. I should ask
the person I've been interviewed for a reality show that
I am. I'm not the main focus. I'm like, it'd
be like if you were doing a reality show and
I'm gonna be on it as the friend of you.
Is kind of along the vibe. I'll verify before I'll

(39:11):
talk to and on the next one I'll give more
details if I can. But I was gonna say, uh,
the reality show shit again, like people just like you
were saying, people are signing up to do Kanye's video
wearing fucking swastika.

Speaker 1 (39:26):
There's they don't actually wear them, by the way, they.

Speaker 2 (39:30):
What do they fucking get it tattooed?

Speaker 1 (39:32):
They're wearing like it's a bunch of black guys and
they're wearing furs.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
Okay, what Yeah, it doesn't really.

Speaker 1 (39:43):
Fit the vibe of the song. It looks like a
regular like if you just took out the words, it
would just look like a normal Kanye song.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
Okay. Well, uh when when we were roommates, me, Roger,
Lizzola and Kyle, Uh fucking dude. He came home when
day Kyle did. And this just goes to that like
I just want to be famous or I just want
to get famous, it doesn't matter how you know, or
infamous whatever. He came home, he's all excited. He's like, guys, guys,

(40:11):
got an opportunity for us to all be on a
reality show. And we're like, okay, what's up? And we're
all we're all struggling at this point, you know, New
in La. So the reality show, we all start off
naked and we have nothing, and we have to go
round to all of the apartments our neighbors. We have

(40:33):
to go to our neighbors and ask them for things like, Hey,
can I get from you a garbage bag so I
can clothe myself? Hey, from you, can I get food?
You know? And all this. Immediately Roger and I are like, nah,
I'm good, and he was so pissed. Kyle was because
so fuck are we talking about, dude? This could be

(40:54):
a huge opportunity. And Roger and I both were like,
I don't want to be known as the naked dude,
you know, Like, I don't want my career built on oh,
you're the the you were the fat naked dude on
fucking your neighbor or whatever.

Speaker 1 (41:08):
I don't want people to cut clips of that next
to my stand up. But I'm famous, you know dude.

Speaker 2 (41:14):
I was like, I don't want that to be how
I if I was to get famous, I don't want
that to be how I.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
A ghetto version is Jesus, Yeah, dude, it was.

Speaker 2 (41:26):
Yeah, we were in the ghetto.

Speaker 1 (41:28):
What a nightmare. That is an actual literal nightmare for
me to just be naked and afraid.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
I think if I was naked, everybody else would be afraid.
Oh dude, yeah, it's oh this weekend speaking of naked
and being afraid or peace me naked? Uh? I did
Mike Drop in San Diego one night or on Friday,
I went down to celebrate the Great Hillary Hudson's birthday

(42:01):
and we did a pub crawl. Angel went with me,
and it was it was a great It was a
great weekend. But what was dope is Bobby Kelly was
in the main room. I was in the gold room
and he was in the main room the whole weekend.
And I haven't seen Bobby for a while. And and
you know, he had the gastric sleeve surgery three years ago.
I had it two years ago, and so it was

(42:24):
just it was cool. I took a picture of it
of us, and I posted a picture of us way
back at the parlor when we were both fat and
then now current you know where we both lost so
much weight, and uh, it was just cool. It was
great to see Bobby and he was like, dude, you
look great. He's like, I'm fucking I'm happy for you.
And it was it was cool. I was happy to
see Bobby. Yeah, it's pretty good.

Speaker 1 (42:45):
That's sick, man. It was a nice little before and
after photo. It's it's amazing. It's great to see because
it's we're gonna get like another special out of both
of you.

Speaker 2 (42:55):
Yeah, yeah, yep, yes, Victoria, Robert Kelly and Bobby Kelly.

Speaker 1 (43:01):
Because I a lot of people always bring up Ralphie
May when they talk about like wait in comedy dude,
and like I was, I got to feature for ra
uh Ralphie his last year, and like, fuck man, it
was so hard to like just see somebody struggle that much,

(43:24):
because like, our job does not require a lot, like
you know, be there at seven and sit until you
need to stand and talk for an hour. But man,
that was like so much for that dude. You know,
like he was always out of breath. He was always
taking breaks. Like the walk back to the hotel took

(43:46):
us so long because he was like he paused every
couple of minutes and like leaned on the counter or whatever.
And I'm like, fuck man, yeah, hard to see that.
But yeah, it's glad that.

Speaker 2 (43:58):
You know.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
It's nice to see your friends lose weight, is what
I'm trying to say.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
Yeah, you remember what was his merch, Victoria or he
had like a ship ton of merch, like different shirts.
It was like a fucking swap meat after the.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
Show, barbecue sauce, which was really fucking good dude. His
barbecue sauce was killer. For Yeah, that guy, he's gonna
do the products that I've gotten from comics. Ralphie's barbecue
sauce is top notch, and then T. J. Miller's peanut
butter is really good.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
Really Yeah. Dave Meat Meat Dave or yeah, meet Dave
is the name of his podcast, but it's spelled m
E A T. Dave Williams uh has a has a
like it's like a rub or a what do you
call it? Fun ice? Is uh yeah, like it's and

(44:47):
it's but you can just put it on stuff and
it's it's good. It's really really good. And he I
mean he's a big barbecue dude, so uh yeah check out.
Like he'll tour like he was touring with Burt Kreischer
and he would they would fuck barbecue at different spots.

Speaker 1 (45:03):
I love it, Like I love barbecue so much. And
there are no barbecue spots in Seattle, Like this is
a zero barbecue place. Uh no, there's there's Dick's Barbecue.
But I don't think that's very good.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Is that the one that has the man? Maybe they
have the sauce of the man that's real hot as fun.
But there's there's one on Rainier in the central district
that they would fucking have their Or am I thinking
of Hawthorn? I might be thinking of Hawthorn. I am
thinking of Hawthorn. But I also think there was one
on Rainier. When I in the central district, I mean.

Speaker 1 (45:40):
It gets in Rainier, it might as well be on
the moon. What do you mean that's on the other
side of the Seattle bro I gotta cross two bridges
to get there.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
I mean, if you fucking want it, it's good.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
I want barbecue. I don't know what to cross the
bridges again?

Speaker 2 (45:57):
Have them fuck uber it to you or uber eats it.

Speaker 1 (46:00):
That'd be like a million dollars. We passed all those
fucking laws now, so like eat drivers get a minimum
of one hundred dollars an hour now, so I'm just
kidding a minimum twenty five. Oh so when you buy
food it's a twenty dollars fee. Damn dude, It like
doesn't matter what you get. You were paying at least

(46:22):
ten bucks, and if it's not in your neighborhood, it's
gonna be like twenty thirty bucks.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Is that part of their like the minimum wage thing?

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Yeah, it's the Seattle fee, like it goes Uber fee
and Seattle fee. So it's like all these fucking fees
and like if you wanted to get like just a
regular fucking drinker, I'll do it right now. Look at this.
I'll order something on door dash. I'll just show you.

Speaker 2 (46:47):
I just ordered some stuff from Walmart, some like food stuff,
and uh it was I think a ten dollars delivery fee.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Right, all right, so say fast food. I'm just gonna
pick burgers and we'll go. Um it's driving, Dick's driving cheap,
this fucking place to get.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
A burger and great great burgers.

Speaker 1 (47:11):
So the price is three dollars for a cheeseburger, oh boy,
two for fries. I'm at six twenty for the total.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
And wait wait wait wait wait wait, let us guess
everybody in the comments. Okay, so you're let's do first.
What's the order?

Speaker 1 (47:30):
So my food is six dollars and twenty cents?

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Okay, all right, that's all we Okay, so the food
is so everybody put in the comments, what do you
think the final amount is for delivery? And does it
it still allows you to tip? Right?

Speaker 1 (47:46):
This is zero tip right now?

Speaker 2 (47:48):
Okay? With no tip. What does everybody put in the comments?
What you think the final thing is not counting even
a tip? Okay? BS Jeffers is thirty two and it
was six dollars for the BURGERM. I'm gonna go thirty
three prices right, No, I'll uh okay, six dollars. I'm

(48:09):
gonna say from Victoria, I'm gonna go twenty nine.

Speaker 1 (48:18):
It's seventeen sixty five. So it's a two dollars delivery
fee plus nine dollars and forty six cents Seattle fee
plus a service fee. Jesus so coming out of the
gate seventeen sixty five for a six dollars meal.

Speaker 2 (48:43):
But yeah, yeah, that's why I don't do. I don't.

Speaker 1 (48:45):
I'll do Uber pickup, you know, like I'll order something.
If they don't have their own menu, then I'll order
it and I'll just go pick it up.

Speaker 2 (48:53):
Now, I wonder if that applies to Walmart. Ordering through
Walmart and they deliver, because Walmart.

Speaker 1 (49:00):
Any any delivery fee. Wow, Yeah, it's just within the
Seattle city limits because it's the Seattle delivery fee to
make sure that drivers here are still making money. Because
dude is wild, because when I go like when I
went to your place and there was like fucking no fee,
I was like, hell, yeah, brother, I'm like I ordered everything.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
No.

Speaker 1 (49:24):
And when I visited you in Vegas, yeah, because I
was like, I'm just gonna order every fucking meal. I'm
gonna order my coffee, I'm gonna order my lunch, I'm
gonna order my dinner. I don't give a fuck, dude.
It was still cheaper for me to buy all three
meals and they get one meal in Seattle.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
You gotta come back, come back, I know, dude. It's
you know.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
It's interesting though, because when I'm in Seattle, my delivery
driver is just a guy trying to make it. But
when I'm in Vegas, it's a whole fucking family, all
living in their car, and the child brings it out
over his head like he has your order.

Speaker 2 (50:00):
What was that voice? What was that?

Speaker 1 (50:01):
Here's your that's my child voice. It's a white kid.
It's a white kid.

Speaker 2 (50:09):
It wasn't Jesus. All right, on that note, before it
gets worse, let's let's do our plugs. What do you
got coming up? Tyler?

Speaker 1 (50:21):
This weekend, I'm at Tacoma Comedy Club on Saturday. Come
by come through try and hop on.

Speaker 2 (50:27):
Huh A dope show.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Yeah, dope show. But I'm gonna try and hop on
with my homeboy Hans Kims in town. So might I
be doing? Guest?

Speaker 2 (50:36):
Is that the six and Proctor or the other one.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Downtown?

Speaker 2 (50:42):
Is that that's the big one?

Speaker 1 (50:44):
Mm hmm?

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Nice? All right, excuse me. Saturday, I will be in Bellflower,
California at the stand Up Club with Chante Wayans. I'm doing.
Chante has a show there called Chante Wayns and Friends,
and I'm and she's my friend and I love her.
But yeah, I'm so I'm gonna go out to Bellflower,

(51:05):
California just to do Chante's show. And Carlos is coming
with me because he hasn't seen Chantey for a while.
And Chante doesn't know that yet, but she listens to this,
which I'm sure she doesn't. She'll find out. Other than that,
and then next week Wednesday, I'm doing the Dirty Show
in Ontario, California at the Ontario Improv with the Sash Prods. Yeah, Hi,

(51:29):
I will do that. I will do that, and uh,
that's it. And then I'll find out about what I
can say on this reality show that I've been interviewing
on and until next week. Thanks for tuning in, Love everybody,
and bye bye. If you If a person fucking listens

(51:51):
to this till the end, you deserve a prize. Your
prize is to go to iTunes and right to review
this podcast been five stars. You motherfuckers.

Speaker 3 (52:04):
Fucking say some nice you Fox. Right now, you motherfuckers.
You know this fucking piece of ship for five years,
I averaging about two fucking reviews a year.

Speaker 2 (52:23):
Go fucking write some you motherfuckers.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Oh fuck, that is the realest I've ever heard you.

Speaker 2 (52:31):
God yeah do what the fuck