August 21, 2025 • 37 mins
Tyler went to see Louis CK, Ozzy Osbourne's passed and the fellas talk about performing till you die.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
What do you want to say something about the show?
I shot on myself in the womb.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Stop Phil, you fucking stink.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
You know what? Fuck this.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Because it's hallings Worth, but it's worth less.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I don't want to hear about whatever you have to
say the worthless of the week.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
He's just gonna sit up there the whole time, Phil
Fox Scorpion. It's a move man, you fucking dummy. What
the fuck hows of race and black people? Shoot me? Now?
(00:44):
What's up? Everybody?
Speaker 5 (00:45):
Welcome to the Halleens Worthless Program.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I'm one of your hosts, figures.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Jay and as usual, we have the.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Wligan's, the gun Squad, the usual suspects, three men, no
baby shout out to baby Mouth, three of a kind.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Trips, just the three of us.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Three's company.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
No mister Fairley starting with the you've seen him on
Amazon Prime. He's the host with the most part time famous,
full time funny Carlos.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And last but not least, we have he took the
D out of d E I. He's d E White.
We call him the one box checka murderer. He's now
very cancelable.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Mat Hey, I'm not racist, Tyler, don't call me Joseph Smith.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
You're echoing, is it's done now?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It was Carlos. Carlos did something.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
You thinks Jeffrey in the chat?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Uh so, how's everybody doing? How was this last weekend?
What everybody do? Talk to me?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Guys, dude, I saw Louis c K this last weekend
or last week?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Was he in your room masturbating.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
In his hotel room? Come on, Louis c K.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
As much as like everybody wants to hate him for,
you know, taking advantage.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Of his power and Jackets worship.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Anyways, I disagree with that.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Do you do as much as people want to hate him?
He still sold out every show while he was in
Seattle on a big deal. But he does this really
cool thing where he does an artists early bird like
uh like promo. So when he announces his show, his
tickets are only fifty bucks. And I just happened to
(02:50):
caught I just caught it. I just saw him make
a post about it, or I get his emails. I
don't know whatever happened. I found out to it like
this was back in November last year.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Show was last week.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I got box seats at the theater for fifty dollars
a seat, damn fuck.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
And this is like the McCall Hall. It's like a
beautiful theater in downtown Seattle, right next to the space,
you know, it's like where they do all the fucking
symphony and shit.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
So a box seat's really sick.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It was pretty fun, dude, because when I showed up
and I showed the like the old lady who's like,
show me your ticket and I'll tell you wear your
sheet and she goes, oh, a box seat, a box I.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Haven't been to a box seat since Lincoln. Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Might have to help me find my box.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Wow. He was hitting those jokes jokes early.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
It was a comedy show, comedy comedy.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
We go to the box seat.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's the second level box top box, way up there.
When I'm sitting, I'm like front have front row box seats,
and I'm like my stomach, like my balls are in
my stomach. I'm like so nervous about the height.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
And the edge of this.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
I hate that ship.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
It made me not enjoy the show.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I felt like one of those like lunch, like one
of those construction workers out of the like on the
beam eating lunch and that like oh yeah, you know,
I was just way up there, like there's no safety.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The railing is very low. I feel very here.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I want if somebody wanted to murder me in this box,
and all you have to do is push me lightly.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
In the back. Pushed me.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Also, Carlos, I think your mic is coming off your computer,
not your mic.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
While you're fixing that all I was just gonna say,
I mean, were you able to watch it or were
you really just totally distracted the whole time.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I ended up switching seats with Tori. I gave her
the edge and I'm like, I'm just on the sit
on the outside. You sit on the inside, because she
she likes that feeling. She wants to feel alive. That
was It was so funny. Dude, so like he starts
to show off. You know, he's doing He's on the
god mic and he's doing his thing like ladies and gentlemen.
(05:26):
We yeah, I just want to say, here at the theater,
it's making fun doing his fun thumbs uh and he
he goes. I brought some openers with me from New York.
I didn't want to use any locals because I didn't
want any locals to ship the bed on stage, and
then his two openers totally shipped the bed on stage.
It was like, dude, they fucking sucked. I don't know
(05:50):
if I want to throw them under the bat. Nobody,
nobody famous, just kind of like up and comers. But
the guy was kind of funny. The girl that went first,
I would not, I like, she just kind of sucks.
She kind of stumbled around.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
It's cool that it's cool that you don't want to
call him out. The two comics that opened for Louis
in Seattle at that theater that you named last week.
But that's good that you don't want to call them.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I'm not like anybody's gonna know, like anybody else is
going to know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You know, it's I don't know what because I.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Tell you, what is this goddamn stream yard?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I don't know. I don't know, testing testing, Mike's sitting
every week. Can you go through and change the a
little bit of an attitude? I'm not the one that you, Mike.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
I know you lie.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
What Oh you got your ship? Tyler got his?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I don't I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I don't know. All well, we'll fucking does it sound.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Like I'm in a cup of something.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
It sounds you sound like a storm trooper.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Like you're a giant at that.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Is this better?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
That's better?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah? Now testing, I don't know, it's all right.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I guess we're gonna have to figure this thing out now.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yeah it sounds better.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah, it sounds bad.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
It doesn't sound good, but it sounds better.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah, but we'll keep going. We'll move on. Oh.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
The thing I was gonna say about Louis so I
won't I won't name, but I know somebody that opened
for him or did or does open for him, and uh,
just so.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
We can limit your trying to figure out who it is.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
But the story I heard, like like what really happened
is Ari Shafir actually made a great comment about it,
where basically the original thing he was he was at
a comedy festival. He was out to dinner with some
girls and they were they were in general, they were
talking about like weird fetishes, and then Louis said, well,
(08:15):
I got kind of weird fetishes too, and the girls
are like, well what, and he goes, I like to
masturbate in front of people, and they start like laughing
and they're like yeah, right, and he's like, no, that's
it's like nothing to me. He's like, I'll we can
go up and I'll do it right now. So they're
like laughing through this whole thing. They go up to
his room, he does it. They're still laughing and like
they're telling everybody at the thing, but not in like
(08:37):
oh my god, he forces He is like.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
It is crazy, fucking Louis just fucking rubbed one out.
That's like his thing or whatever.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
And then years later it was oh, he was in
a position of power and we know all this other stuff,
and the same with like the masturbating over the phone,
there was nothing from what I understand and what I've seen,
there's nothing of him like holding the door and being like,
hold on to fucking jack off real quick, don't you
fucking move. And Ari Shaffer was saying, I think it
(09:05):
was on Rogan, Like again, this is years ago, but
he was saying, He's like, okay, so you're talking to
a girl or girls whatever, but you know in the scenario,
you're talking to somebody and you you say, hey, do
you want to go up to my room? I like
to masturbate in front of people and they say yes,
And then you go up to your room and you're like, okay,
I'm gonna masturbate in front of you?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Is that cool?
Speaker 5 (09:25):
And they say yes, and then you do it, and
then it's not enough. It was that you're still in
the wrong somehow.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You know. Well, the question I'm gonna have as why
would you put yourself in a.
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Position though, Louis or the girl Louis? I mean yeah,
I mean, well.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
That's that's his kink.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
And they were talking about like interesting fetishes or fetishes.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
We don't kink shame here, but they were.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Talking about that and he was like, I like to
masturbate in front of people. And they're like nah, and
he's like, yeah, I would do it in front of you,
and they were like okay, let's go. So then he's
getting some out of it because that's his thing, and and.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
They they agreed to it, they were okay with it.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
So, I mean, you know, if that's the thing that
turns them on, you know, like some people like feet,
some people like whatever, you know, and that's your thing.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Better start getting these people to sign these waivers. Then
it's saying you agreed, you agreed to do this, because
now we're just living in such dangerous sales times right now,
with people saying whatever they want to say or using
whatever you talked about in private in public now. So man,
as much as crazy as it sounds, you almost have
(10:35):
to stop start getting people to sign waivers and saying, hey,
I agreed to this.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah, dude is wild.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But if you're famous, if you're like a multi millionaire
incredibly famous, like you would just kind of have to
do that. You would just kind of like this sucks, Like,
but I'm in a position of power to quote my victims,
you know, and say like, you gotta sign this waiver,
saying that you know, I'm about to jack off in.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Fred of you.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah, I'm truly takes.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Romance out of the jacking off in front of people.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Oh man, dude, and uh, I mean dude. There was
a girl.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
There was a I don't know if I might have
talked about this, but the way back when I did
a Halleen's Worthless Halloween podcast at the Queen, Mary and
I had just kind of kind of just started talking
to this chick like we had we had been on
a few dates, we had hooked up once and I
was doing this thing and I was live streaming on
my phone at the time, right, and so she had
(11:39):
ended up, she was drunk and she was on something else.
But she basically she starts she comes into this chat,
this live stream that i'm and she's like keep saying stuff,
and I'm like, I'm like, oh, yeah, we're doing this.
I can't really like talk to you right now because
I've got this thing. We're filming this, you know, and
I'm doing this. So then she starts calling on my
(12:00):
phone and I'm like, yo, quit fucking I'm like, I
can't be any more clear. So it just it kept
escalating to where finally I was like, I've just blocked her.
And then she starts the next day. She was like,
oh man, never take Red Bull or never do Red
Bull and by or.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Some I don't know.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
She made some fucking excuse up, but it was just
it pissed me off, and so I was like, hey,
how about you just don't contact me anymore. So then
she's like, really, you're gonna be this blah blah blah,
and then she says the verbiage she used is what was.
I was like, Okay, this chick's fucking nuts. She says,
I'm gonna tell everybody, because she kept saying, uh, really,
you're gonna stop talking to me because of this is ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
And then she says, quote, I'm gonna tell everybody what
you did to me. And I'm like, what I mean.
You're muted now, Carlos. Yeah, we can't hear you. Oh Carlos.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Hemn. But say something, carl You're.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Muted now for now, it's off. Say something, Carlos, say something.
There you go.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
But she had said that, yeah, I'll tell people what
you did to me, and I was like, what the fuck?
Long story short, It kept escalating, and I finally said,
I go, look, this is my last time talking to you.
I go, if you contact me again, I'm going to
contact the police, because she had said some other threatening
dumb like almost like threatening, like something's gonna happen to me, right,
So I screenshoted all these screen I still have them
(13:35):
in my Google drive, just because you never know, so
you want to just always cover your steps, man. So, Yeah,
there was a comic that that would I'm not gonna
obviously not gonna say the comics name, but there was
a comic that would hook up on the road with
chicks and would like audio record the whole thing, the
(13:59):
whole interact action. So I mean, I mean, I don't
know legally, but I also forget.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
It hit the nickel.
Speaker 6 (14:10):
But that's crazy though, But I mean those are the
times we lim be't in right now. Fortunately you have
you better protect yourself for somebody uses for yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
And what's like the beginning of that audio recording, So
we're about to engage in consensual sex?
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Would you say?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
I think.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
You know, like if if if a person was to
say later like, oh, this person forced themselves on me,
at least you could be like, does do you hear
her at any point saying no or you know, or
any like anything that sounds like I'm you know whatever
that as the perpetrator I guess of forcing myself on
(14:56):
her or whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I don't know. I don't know how.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Yeah, if you could just start talking so weird because
you know you're getting recorded. Okay, I'm gonna go get
a condom. Now you're okay with safe sex?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Right? I don't know, man, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
I don't know to work around with that because it's
it's a very fine line these days, very fine damn
very thin line.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I should say.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I muted my ship accident.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Derek said, give him the Derek Jeter gift bag when
they leave to What was that?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Dude?
Speaker 5 (15:31):
There was like stories that he would give chicks like
a yeah, like a fucking goodie bag after he would
bang chicks. Actually, let me look it up. Let me see,
Derek Jeter.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Wait a minute, they took the goodie bag on the
way out, so you knew that they knew what was
going down.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
That's hilarious. Okay, let me see.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
This is from people, just from people dot com. Derek
Jeter addresses rumor he gave autographed swag bags and gift.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Baskets to his one night stand. Let's see.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Okay, so they're asking me about he said, yeah, I
read the article. Yeah, of course, he said, of the
twenty eleven New York Post story. You know, you see it,
and then it's like, how the fun did people come
up with this? You know, basically that's it, and who
who would believe this shit?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
And you believed it.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
It's a story that became larger than life. People keep
regurgitating this story that never happened, never happened.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Ah damn, Derek Jeter.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
Why a room though, you'd be like, come in a
room and pick out whatever little grand bag you'd like
to have on your way out the door.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Baby, that's that's for you. That's thank you for coming by.
Don't come back.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
And then you bring a little dish and they're like,
oh are those candies? Oh no, no, plan b right.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I noticed it's not a full dish.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Fuck, why would you say, Carlos No? I said, that's wild,
this is crazy, and h Tyler was gonna tell you.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
So I was at Spokane Comedy Club this weekend. Shout
out to Spokane Comedy Club.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
It was fun weekend and uh, the guys with the
openers were great, Chris and Willie, and uh, it's funny
because I was told ahead of like, I don't know
if they I don't give a fuck who goes in
front of me. I don't care if they clean dirty shot.
I don't give a ship. You know, I want the
best show possible, So I want everybody to do great,
(17:34):
but I don't, you know, I don't care. But so
I was told that the feature was dark, it's kind
of dark, and I was like, okay, cool, and uh,
it's funny.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I mean it was. It was great. I mean.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Yeah, I just like one of his jokes he was
talking about he's referencing vaginas and calling them a box.
And so he's like, at the end of this long
joke he says, you know, I've I've come in many
of vagina. I've come in many a box. He goes,
you know what the difference of coming in a vagina
or a box is the homeless people hate it when
you come in the box.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
But it was a good weekend. It was It was great.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
And oh I was going to tell you though. They
were pushing your show, Tyler big time. After every show
there was the Dope Show. They kept mentioning was coming
up this week, right.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yeah, the host was mentioning it.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Oh yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Every every show he was mentioning the Dope Show.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
And the Under the Influence Show.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
And me double check who's on that show for I
know those guys are on it. That's fun.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
No, but just and I would like everyonce once when
I could remember, when he would say the Dope Show,
I'd be like, it's a great show.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Go to it, just yell it. Hell yeah yeah, oh yeah,
And yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
It was a it was a good weekend. And I
also I crossed over to fifteen thousand followers this.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Weekend on Instagram. And so now next up is ja
to one hundred k. That's the goal.
Speaker 5 (19:13):
My goal is the end of twenty twenty six to
get to one hundred thousand. Sooner, I'm gonna do it
sooner than that. I'm just Carlos has taught, He's trained me. Well,
Carlos is my uh my guru, my self helped guru.
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Now if I can just help my goddamn self, it
don't be all right, all right, I ain't no where
fifteen thousand, but I have knocking on the door of six.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I'll take you. I'll take six.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Great dude, I mean, and it's like it was I've
been saying at the end of the shows. Now you know,
to follow me and you can support the comics. Won't
cost anything.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Just follow us. And I mean, I think it's I
think it might be working. We'll see. Uh what'd you
do this weekend? Carlos? Have some pretty dope shows that
you did?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
What did I do this weekend? Man? This weekend?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Are all starting to blur together now. But I was
at the La Comedy Cup on Sunday, Friday and Saturday.
I don't remember where the.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Funk I was. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
That's a great question.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
This is how you know. I'm getting old. Your calendar
on your calendar in front of me right now.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
But I feel like I was somewhere Friday and Saturday.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Aren't you on your computer?
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Oh no, I take that back. I was at Kimmel's
on Friday night and I'm sorry, Saturday night, I was there.
And then I was at La Comic Cup on Sunday
and I was there. Oh I did, Yeah, I know
what it is now off the rails on Wednesday, hammering
Harry's on Thursday.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Which was a complete ship show and in a good way.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Uh talk to us about Harry's.
Speaker 6 (20:46):
Well, it's a it's a show where shout out. I'll
give the shout out to Lona and Stone Rob. They
kind of co host that shows line of Reza show,
but so on a Rob is there as well, being
the the sidekick. But it's where they encourage the audience
to heckle. So it's one of those shows which you know,
(21:06):
that's not my thing. You know, we've talked about that
on numerous Okay, I'm not I'm not a roast comic.
I don't I don't say anything to the honesty and
unless it's in the context of what of my material
or if they say something to.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Me being in the moment. Yeah, yeah, it worked.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
It worked out because one of the comics, it was
only I'm gonna say, maybe twenty five people there when
the show started, she walked probably seventeen of them.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Uh, you didn't name, but a comic walking. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
They was like they heard a female comed Yeah, they heard.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
The first guy, but again and then she went up
right after that, and they was like, yeah, I think
we're gonna go ahead and cash get our check and
get the hell out of here.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
So that left us with.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Seven eight nine people there.
Speaker 6 (21:56):
Uh, and they would all say two was sitting here,
three were sitting here, year three more were sitting kind
of behind that. And then there was some people way
in the back and they was like, we're not here
for this ship at all. So literally we just had
to go up and it was nobody's talked to so
you one comic before me, he tried his material. They
wasn't having it. So I pretty much was like, fuck,
if we're just gonna go out in the audience now
(22:17):
and just fuck with people because it's hammering Harry's, which
is they're They're known for having their staff talk shit
to to the people who were eating, so it's already
liked that.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
So we ultimately winded up having a woman put baby
oil on her chest, which was on her own chest.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
Yes some first of all was some random baby oil
and hair and hammering Harry's, which was odd in itself,
but yeah, we we wind up convincing her to put
baby oil on our chests in the name.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Of comy, and that was it.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
I'm uh wild.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Roxanne, Roxanne takes the baby oil.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Roxanne takes the baby on.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Rock. Sanne takes the baby all.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
And Rock was buck wild to say the least, anyway,
but she got she got shy when the baby all
came out.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Mm hm okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I couldn't imagine going to a comedy show and then
leaving with my chest covered and baby.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
As an audience member or a performer. I would be
so upset.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Well, this power says enough about if that says anything.
Speaker 6 (23:34):
It was on Freemont, So if you know about Freemont,
you know what The Boutrey is finest, so.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Favorite place fuck Fremont with every five of my being.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
I hate it.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I hate Freemont Street.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
It's so funny by Jeffrey said, the oil has to
go somewhere.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Ell that Diddy is out of the.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
But that's what I found we and I was like,
why is it just as random about a baby woll
at a restaurant like that? That's weird in itself. So
I had to make fun of that. And then the
Stone and Robin I just started playing off each other.
Then Roxanne came in and we was like, well, fuck,
let's see we get Roxanne.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Just put some baby on on a chest.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Yeah, Derek said, I don't like Freedmont either, but Skankfester
is a good time down there. Skakfesters. It's crazy. I
told that to Lewis. I was like, it's crazy what
you've been able to do with. I mean, it's it's
it's it's respectable. I mean, I mean, I don't know
how you say. It's just it's amazing. It's so dope
(24:39):
that what he's been able to do with.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
But aren't they moving it this year and moving it
to Austin?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 6 (24:47):
Yeah, if I heard correctly, I believe it's moving to Austin.
That to be wrong. You had to google it. But
I've never been a part of skan Fest. I only
went once in the years that they've had. Okay, so yeah,
so yeah, it's it's it was an interesting it's an
interesting little little comedy thing.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Uh oh too soon?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
No, yeah, R I P R I P. And Malcolm
Jamal Warner too, that's.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Huh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
He uh drowned.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
He drowned in a rip tide.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Crazy.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Sorry for somebody who's like vacationing in a beach resort, Well,
you know what.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Those have you all ever been a part of being
in the water when it has those ties to kind
of pull you out?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
I don't like that, dude.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
That is I've seen it happen. I've seen I've been
a part of it. Not not to that degree, clear
because I'm here. But my ex girlfriend we went to
Hawaii one time and we were standing on the beach
and our Samda went in the water and she went
running after it, and then the current came up and
pushed up and then was sucking her back in and
(26:18):
I was grabbing hold on to it, but it was
so the ground.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Was so soft. We it almost suck.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Well, you know it was.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
It can get real dangerous down there, real quick.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Dude, and Angels.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
It's crazy too because I've been seeing Malcolm Jawal Warner
a lot because Angel watch The Resident and he's he's
great on there or he was great on there.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
But fuck, it's so crazy.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
When I saw that, I was like, holy shit, just
and from everything that I've read and and you hearing interviews,
he was just a fucking great dude.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
So I mean that just did. It's crazy. I think
it's my age.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
And yeah, he was like fifty seven, and I think
is when he.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Okay, he's old.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
Oh I think he's fifty four. I think he's yeah,
fifty four, that's still. That's still, that's under.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
J Ozzie was seventy six.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Now that's my age.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Now we talk to somebody and your range.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
It's crazy that he just did that concert, which he
said was going to be his last one, and then
he was like good night world.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Yeah right.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
People were like shocked. I heard some people were like
I'm so shocked he died. I'm like, how are you shocked?
He was like wheeled out on stage, like he looks
so old. I was shocked, still wived, right, I'm still
shocked He's alive for sure.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I definitely had to google and be like, is this
nineteen years ago? It's like, oh no, he was alive.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
But yeah, now people, anybody over, I'm gonna say seventy.
I don't know at this point why anybody would be shocked. Disappointed.
I can understand that, but shocked now, yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
I mean that's like for the drugs and all the
shit he did. Absolutely, dude, that would be like one
of us living to one hundred and fifty exactly. And
I mean, you know, all things considered, he fucking wo performed.
That's so fucking wild. Like, did you ever, Carlos when
you were here in Vegas? Did you ever see rich
(28:33):
little over at the laugh Factory?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
I did not, but I heard about him.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
What did you hear? That he was old and.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He was on his last leg?
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Literally that's all.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
This show wasn't that good?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Well? Yeah I saw it.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I sat through a show, and I would say it
was a good show for his for the people that
are fans of his, absolutely, and for for what the
ages he's got to actually let me see how old
he is, because.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Asshole age.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
That's the one thing about being a musician versus being
a comedian is that like the older comic gets, it's
like the better you get almost the funnier you get,
because like you're not trying to be sexy on stage.
You know, if you came out and you're like one
hundred years old and you're doing comedy, people have almost
(29:37):
more respect for you.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
If you're a musician, people are like, what the fuck
are you doing?
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Oh dude, Yeah, but he's still out here smoke he said,
down else or Richie Valley?
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Is that his name, Richie Valley?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
That he looks like one of the fucking Disney animatronics
where he's just like like he's they're playing the fun
and he's supposed to be lip singing, but he's literally
just gonna.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Oh god, dude, those clips are so bad and they
keep coming. He's still on tour. It's every city.
Speaker 6 (30:11):
He's question is what I mean, at what point did
those dudes be like, all right, man, I'm gonna go
ahead and cashny and I haven't done enough.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
I need to sit down and retire and just enjoy
the rest of his life. What point do you be like,
all right, man, I'm done.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
Yeah, dude, it's uh, it's crazy, but I wouldn't wanted
to say on Rich Little like so his show, I mean, dude,
he's still I have respect for it.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
You know.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
Again, it's his audience because it was a bunch of
older people that you know, grew up on Rich Little
and uh for those that don't know, for people that
are like.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Who are you guys talking about I'm twenty three? Uh?
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Rich Little back in the day, he guest hosted the
Tonight Show. But he did impressions and he did. He
was famous for his Johnny Carson impression.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
I mean he did everybody.
Speaker 5 (30:59):
And and so he goes out his show again predominantly
an older crowd, very old, and he's but dude, he
puts his suit on, it's Rich Little. And then he'll
go out there and what he would do is he
would talk about he would tell a story like you'd say,
I remember I was hosting on the Tonight Show and
(31:21):
we had John Wayne. I'm just making up a name,
but he you know, we had John Wayne on there,
and and then he would show the clip of that
interview that he was just talking about, and then he
might do a quick little impression afterwards. Uh, and that
was that was pretty much. It was more clips and
stories and everything. But I mean, in the grand scheme
(31:42):
of things, I think the people that came to see him,
they enjoyed the show, got out of it, you know,
they got something out of it, memories and all that. Yeah, exactly,
like let me get on AOL.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah. I respected it.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
I I was like good for him, and fuck, I
mean shit, I I it may sound crazy, but I
want to do stand up till till I'm no longer here.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (32:09):
I'm gonna, you know, and being the old folks home
talking about fucking fucking these old grannies.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Yeah, a couple of years, do you hit that.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I went to another concert this weekend. I saw the
band Stabbing Westward.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
Do you guys know that band?
Speaker 3 (32:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
So they were like a nineties industrial like this is
like stuff that I would listen to in high school
type of stuff. I don't even know, like they have
one famous song. It doesn't matter anyways, I go see
the show. It's my girlfriend's birthday present because she's a
big fan of them, and her cousin and her like
(32:52):
used to love them, so they're both with me, and
we're watching them and they're singing along. They know every
fucking song, and I'm like watching this guy sit and
like this is their revival tour because they broke up
they're getting back together. We're at the sub Station and Ballard,
which is a venue smaller than Tacoma Comedy Club for
(33:12):
this band that's been around for like forty years.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Uh, and the lead.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Singer is fucking sixty years old, bro, and he's doing
like this fucking you know, like grunge metal singing, and
he like stops and he gets off stage and he
comes back on it, and we're like, where'd he dip
out to because like the music was still playing.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
He goes, ah, I had to put my knee brace on.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Im.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
The only thing I can think is like what the
equivalent would be in stand up would be if I'm
if I'm seventy years old and I'm going up talking
about like, yeah, this is at the club this weekend,
and you're you're, you know, you're trying to you're either
line or or trying to relate to like younger people
instead of just being true to yourself.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
You know, it would be like if you were dressed
like a younger person, really baggy pants on, like a
real oversized Jackety wardrobe style.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Right now.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
I don't hope you guys know that.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
Those fucking big red bomb boots, those fucking dumb.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Boots them astral.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yes, what's up? Guys like my shoes?
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Fuck? You have a builty and audience.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
But they'd be like Mane would years it's a bringer.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Show, right, yeah, well, guys, is my last show?
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Well ship we said we want to Oh go ahead.
Speaker 4 (34:59):
No, I'm just like that is the thing though, Like
you can do comedy until your last day. Oh, it's
totally fine. But being a musician, I feel like it's not.
It's just it looks terrible.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Even Aussie's last show, everybody's like, look at him go
and I'm like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Bro?
Speaker 4 (35:19):
They wheeled him out there. This seems like a lash
cash grab for his family.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
You know, maybe they were talking about his spirit. Look
at it.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
Go, wow, he died three weeks ago. They just propped
him up.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
At Bernie's.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
All right, let's uh, let's do our plugs and get
the fuck out. And then we got Loving Black and
White tomorrow and uh yeah, but what you got Carlos?
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Uh nothing.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
This week actually been a super light week, but I
got coming up.
Speaker 6 (35:59):
I'll be headline of Delirious Comedy Club Sacramentos coming up
and supposed to go back to Dallas.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
We're working on that, so we'll see how that goes.
Speaker 6 (36:07):
And of course I'm sure I'll have some shows here locally,
So check out Part Time Famous dot com and Tyler on.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
This weekend Comedy Club, Spokane Comedy Club.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
Doing my Thing, Dope Show dot com.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
And uh this week Beverly mass at off Cabot on Friday,
and then coming up. I'll be on the Naturals podcast
with Derek next week. But uh Tulsa, Oklahoma in August, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Gilbert, Arizona,
Rapid City, South Dakota, and Tucson, Arizona. Go to Big
(36:45):
Irsja dot com for tickets and until next week. If
you if a person fucking listens to this till the end,
you deserve a prize.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Your prize is to go to it ready to review
this podcast. Give it five stars. You motherfuckers.
Speaker 7 (37:07):
Fucking say something nice, you Fox right now, motherfuckers, you
know this fucking piece of ship. For five years, the
averaging about two fucking reviews a year, go fucking write
(37:28):
some of you motherfuckers.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Oh fuck, that is the realest I've ever heard you.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
God yeah do what the fuck
What do you want to say something about the show?
I shot on myself in the womb.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Stop Phil, you fucking stink.
Speaker 3 (00:10):
You know what? Fuck this.
Speaker 4 (00:15):
Because it's hallings Worth, but it's worth less.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
I don't want to hear about whatever you have to
say the worthless of the week.
Speaker 3 (00:23):
He's just gonna sit up there the whole time, Phil
Fox Scorpion. It's a move man, you fucking dummy. What
the fuck hows of race and black people? Shoot me? Now?
(00:44):
What's up? Everybody?
Speaker 5 (00:45):
Welcome to the Halleens Worthless Program.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
I'm one of your hosts, figures.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
Jay and as usual, we have the.
Speaker 5 (00:53):
Wligan's, the gun Squad, the usual suspects, three men, no
baby shout out to baby Mouth, three of a kind.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Trips, just the three of us.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Three's company.
Speaker 5 (01:04):
No mister Fairley starting with the you've seen him on
Amazon Prime. He's the host with the most part time famous,
full time funny Carlos.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
And last but not least, we have he took the
D out of d E I. He's d E White.
We call him the one box checka murderer. He's now
very cancelable.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Mat Hey, I'm not racist, Tyler, don't call me Joseph Smith.
Speaker 4 (01:42):
You're echoing, is it's done now?
Speaker 3 (01:46):
It was Carlos. Carlos did something.
Speaker 5 (01:48):
You thinks Jeffrey in the chat?
Speaker 3 (01:53):
Uh so, how's everybody doing? How was this last weekend?
What everybody do? Talk to me?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Guys, dude, I saw Louis c K this last weekend
or last week?
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Was he in your room masturbating.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
In his hotel room? Come on, Louis c K.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
As much as like everybody wants to hate him for,
you know, taking advantage.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
Of his power and Jackets worship.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Anyways, I disagree with that.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Do you do as much as people want to hate him?
He still sold out every show while he was in
Seattle on a big deal. But he does this really
cool thing where he does an artists early bird like
uh like promo. So when he announces his show, his
tickets are only fifty bucks. And I just happened to
(02:50):
caught I just caught it. I just saw him make
a post about it, or I get his emails. I
don't know whatever happened. I found out to it like
this was back in November last year.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Show was last week.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
I got box seats at the theater for fifty dollars
a seat, damn fuck.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
And this is like the McCall Hall. It's like a
beautiful theater in downtown Seattle, right next to the space,
you know, it's like where they do all the fucking
symphony and shit.
Speaker 4 (03:21):
So a box seat's really sick.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
It was pretty fun, dude, because when I showed up
and I showed the like the old lady who's like,
show me your ticket and I'll tell you wear your
sheet and she goes, oh, a box seat, a box I.
Speaker 3 (03:35):
Haven't been to a box seat since Lincoln. Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
Might have to help me find my box.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
Wow.
Speaker 4 (03:43):
Wow. He was hitting those jokes jokes early.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
It was a comedy show, comedy comedy.
Speaker 4 (03:53):
We go to the box seat.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
It's the second level box top box, way up there.
When I'm sitting, I'm like front have front row box seats,
and I'm like my stomach, like my balls are in
my stomach. I'm like so nervous about the height.
Speaker 4 (04:11):
And the edge of this.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
I hate that ship.
Speaker 4 (04:15):
It made me not enjoy the show.
Speaker 3 (04:20):
Oh man.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
I felt like one of those like lunch, like one
of those construction workers out of the like on the
beam eating lunch and that like oh yeah, you know,
I was just way up there, like there's no safety.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The railing is very low. I feel very here.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I want if somebody wanted to murder me in this box,
and all you have to do is push me lightly.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
In the back. Pushed me.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Also, Carlos, I think your mic is coming off your computer,
not your mic.
Speaker 4 (04:53):
Yeah, yeah, it sounds like it.
Speaker 5 (04:57):
While you're fixing that all I was just gonna say,
I mean, were you able to watch it or were
you really just totally distracted the whole time.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
I ended up switching seats with Tori. I gave her
the edge and I'm like, I'm just on the sit
on the outside. You sit on the inside, because she
she likes that feeling. She wants to feel alive. That
was It was so funny. Dude, so like he starts
to show off. You know, he's doing He's on the
god mic and he's doing his thing like ladies and gentlemen.
(05:26):
We yeah, I just want to say, here at the theater,
it's making fun doing his fun thumbs uh and he
he goes. I brought some openers with me from New York.
I didn't want to use any locals because I didn't
want any locals to ship the bed on stage, and
then his two openers totally shipped the bed on stage.
It was like, dude, they fucking sucked. I don't know
(05:50):
if I want to throw them under the bat. Nobody,
nobody famous, just kind of like up and comers. But
the guy was kind of funny. The girl that went first,
I would not, I like, she just kind of sucks.
She kind of stumbled around.
Speaker 5 (06:07):
It's cool that it's cool that you don't want to
call him out. The two comics that opened for Louis
in Seattle at that theater that you named last week.
But that's good that you don't want to call them.
Speaker 4 (06:16):
I'm not like anybody's gonna know, like anybody else is
going to know.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
You know, it's I don't know what because I.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
Tell you, what is this goddamn stream yard?
Speaker 3 (06:32):
I don't know. I don't know, testing testing, Mike's sitting
every week. Can you go through and change the a
little bit of an attitude? I'm not the one that you, Mike.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
I know you lie.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
What Oh you got your ship? Tyler got his?
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I don't I don't know what to tell you.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
I don't know. All well, we'll fucking does it sound.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
Like I'm in a cup of something.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
It sounds you sound like a storm trooper.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Like you're a giant at that.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
Is this better?
Speaker 4 (07:16):
That's better?
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Yeah? Now testing, I don't know, it's all right.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
I guess we're gonna have to figure this thing out now.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
Yeah it sounds better.
Speaker 3 (07:26):
Yeah, it sounds bad.
Speaker 4 (07:27):
It doesn't sound good, but it sounds better.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Yeah, but we'll keep going. We'll move on. Oh.
Speaker 5 (07:35):
The thing I was gonna say about Louis so I
won't I won't name, but I know somebody that opened
for him or did or does open for him, and uh,
just so.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
We can limit your trying to figure out who it is.
Speaker 5 (07:53):
But the story I heard, like like what really happened
is Ari Shafir actually made a great comment about it,
where basically the original thing he was he was at
a comedy festival. He was out to dinner with some
girls and they were they were in general, they were
talking about like weird fetishes, and then Louis said, well,
(08:15):
I got kind of weird fetishes too, and the girls
are like, well what, and he goes, I like to
masturbate in front of people, and they start like laughing
and they're like yeah, right, and he's like, no, that's
it's like nothing to me. He's like, I'll we can
go up and I'll do it right now. So they're
like laughing through this whole thing. They go up to
his room, he does it. They're still laughing and like
they're telling everybody at the thing, but not in like
(08:37):
oh my god, he forces He is like.
Speaker 3 (08:40):
It is crazy, fucking Louis just fucking rubbed one out.
That's like his thing or whatever.
Speaker 5 (08:43):
And then years later it was oh, he was in
a position of power and we know all this other stuff,
and the same with like the masturbating over the phone,
there was nothing from what I understand and what I've seen,
there's nothing of him like holding the door and being like,
hold on to fucking jack off real quick, don't you
fucking move. And Ari Shaffer was saying, I think it
(09:05):
was on Rogan, Like again, this is years ago, but
he was saying, He's like, okay, so you're talking to
a girl or girls whatever, but you know in the scenario,
you're talking to somebody and you you say, hey, do
you want to go up to my room? I like
to masturbate in front of people and they say yes,
And then you go up to your room and you're like, okay,
I'm gonna masturbate in front of you?
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Is that cool?
Speaker 5 (09:25):
And they say yes, and then you do it, and
then it's not enough. It was that you're still in
the wrong somehow.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
You know. Well, the question I'm gonna have as why
would you put yourself in a.
Speaker 6 (09:36):
Position though, Louis or the girl Louis? I mean yeah,
I mean, well.
Speaker 3 (09:42):
That's that's his kink.
Speaker 5 (09:44):
And they were talking about like interesting fetishes or fetishes.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
We don't kink shame here, but they were.
Speaker 5 (09:51):
Talking about that and he was like, I like to
masturbate in front of people. And they're like nah, and
he's like, yeah, I would do it in front of you,
and they were like okay, let's go. So then he's
getting some out of it because that's his thing, and and.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
They they agreed to it, they were okay with it.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
So, I mean, you know, if that's the thing that
turns them on, you know, like some people like feet,
some people like whatever, you know, and that's your thing.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
Better start getting these people to sign these waivers. Then
it's saying you agreed, you agreed to do this, because
now we're just living in such dangerous sales times right now,
with people saying whatever they want to say or using
whatever you talked about in private in public now. So man,
as much as crazy as it sounds, you almost have
(10:35):
to stop start getting people to sign waivers and saying, hey,
I agreed to this.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Yep.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
Yeah, dude is wild.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
But if you're famous, if you're like a multi millionaire
incredibly famous, like you would just kind of have to
do that. You would just kind of like this sucks, Like,
but I'm in a position of power to quote my victims,
you know, and say like, you gotta sign this waiver,
saying that you know, I'm about to jack off in.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Fred of you.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
Yeah, I'm truly takes.
Speaker 4 (11:04):
Romance out of the jacking off in front of people.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
Oh man, dude, and uh, I mean dude. There was
a girl.
Speaker 5 (11:16):
There was a I don't know if I might have
talked about this, but the way back when I did
a Halleen's Worthless Halloween podcast at the Queen, Mary and
I had just kind of kind of just started talking
to this chick like we had we had been on
a few dates, we had hooked up once and I
was doing this thing and I was live streaming on
my phone at the time, right, and so she had
(11:39):
ended up, she was drunk and she was on something else.
But she basically she starts she comes into this chat,
this live stream that i'm and she's like keep saying stuff,
and I'm like, I'm like, oh, yeah, we're doing this.
I can't really like talk to you right now because
I've got this thing. We're filming this, you know, and
I'm doing this. So then she starts calling on my
(12:00):
phone and I'm like, yo, quit fucking I'm like, I
can't be any more clear. So it just it kept
escalating to where finally I was like, I've just blocked her.
And then she starts the next day. She was like,
oh man, never take Red Bull or never do Red
Bull and by or.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Some I don't know.
Speaker 5 (12:18):
She made some fucking excuse up, but it was just
it pissed me off, and so I was like, hey,
how about you just don't contact me anymore. So then
she's like, really, you're gonna be this blah blah blah,
and then she says the verbiage she used is what was.
I was like, Okay, this chick's fucking nuts. She says,
I'm gonna tell everybody, because she kept saying, uh, really,
you're gonna stop talking to me because of this is ridiculous.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
And then she says, quote, I'm gonna tell everybody what
you did to me. And I'm like, what I mean.
You're muted now, Carlos. Yeah, we can't hear you. Oh Carlos.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
Hemn. But say something, carl You're.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Muted now for now, it's off. Say something, Carlos, say something.
There you go.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
But she had said that, yeah, I'll tell people what
you did to me, and I was like, what the fuck?
Long story short, It kept escalating, and I finally said,
I go, look, this is my last time talking to you.
I go, if you contact me again, I'm going to
contact the police, because she had said some other threatening
dumb like almost like threatening, like something's gonna happen to me, right,
So I screenshoted all these screen I still have them
(13:35):
in my Google drive, just because you never know, so
you want to just always cover your steps, man. So, Yeah,
there was a comic that that would I'm not gonna
obviously not gonna say the comics name, but there was
a comic that would hook up on the road with
chicks and would like audio record the whole thing, the
(13:59):
whole interact action. So I mean, I mean, I don't
know legally, but I also forget.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
It hit the nickel.
Speaker 6 (14:10):
But that's crazy though, But I mean those are the
times we lim be't in right now. Fortunately you have
you better protect yourself for somebody uses for yourself.
Speaker 3 (14:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
And what's like the beginning of that audio recording, So
we're about to engage in consensual sex?
Speaker 4 (14:29):
Would you say?
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (14:33):
I think.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
You know, like if if if a person was to
say later like, oh, this person forced themselves on me,
at least you could be like, does do you hear
her at any point saying no or you know, or
any like anything that sounds like I'm you know whatever
that as the perpetrator I guess of forcing myself on
(14:56):
her or whatever.
Speaker 3 (14:56):
I don't know. I don't know how.
Speaker 5 (14:58):
Yeah, if you could just start talking so weird because
you know you're getting recorded. Okay, I'm gonna go get
a condom. Now you're okay with safe sex?
Speaker 3 (15:09):
Right? I don't know, man, I don't know.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
I don't know to work around with that because it's
it's a very fine line these days, very fine damn
very thin line.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
I should say.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
I muted my ship accident.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
Derek said, give him the Derek Jeter gift bag when
they leave to What was that?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
Dude?
Speaker 5 (15:31):
There was like stories that he would give chicks like
a yeah, like a fucking goodie bag after he would
bang chicks. Actually, let me look it up. Let me see,
Derek Jeter.
Speaker 6 (15:43):
Wait a minute, they took the goodie bag on the
way out, so you knew that they knew what was
going down.
Speaker 3 (15:47):
That's hilarious. Okay, let me see.
Speaker 5 (15:52):
This is from people, just from people dot com. Derek
Jeter addresses rumor he gave autographed swag bags and gift.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Baskets to his one night stand. Let's see.
Speaker 5 (16:05):
Okay, so they're asking me about he said, yeah, I
read the article. Yeah, of course, he said, of the
twenty eleven New York Post story. You know, you see it,
and then it's like, how the fun did people come
up with this? You know, basically that's it, and who
who would believe this shit?
Speaker 3 (16:18):
And you believed it.
Speaker 5 (16:19):
It's a story that became larger than life. People keep
regurgitating this story that never happened, never happened.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Ah damn, Derek Jeter.
Speaker 6 (16:29):
Why a room though, you'd be like, come in a
room and pick out whatever little grand bag you'd like
to have on your way out the door.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Baby, that's that's for you. That's thank you for coming by.
Don't come back.
Speaker 5 (16:39):
And then you bring a little dish and they're like,
oh are those candies? Oh no, no, plan b right.
Speaker 4 (16:47):
I noticed it's not a full dish.
Speaker 3 (16:55):
Fuck, why would you say, Carlos No? I said, that's wild,
this is crazy, and h Tyler was gonna tell you.
Speaker 5 (17:07):
So I was at Spokane Comedy Club this weekend. Shout
out to Spokane Comedy Club.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
Yeah it was.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
It was fun weekend and uh, the guys with the
openers were great, Chris and Willie, and uh, it's funny
because I was told ahead of like, I don't know
if they I don't give a fuck who goes in
front of me. I don't care if they clean dirty shot.
I don't give a ship. You know, I want the
best show possible, So I want everybody to do great,
(17:34):
but I don't, you know, I don't care. But so
I was told that the feature was dark, it's kind
of dark, and I was like, okay, cool, and uh,
it's funny.
Speaker 3 (17:44):
I mean it was. It was great. I mean.
Speaker 5 (17:47):
Yeah, I just like one of his jokes he was
talking about he's referencing vaginas and calling them a box.
And so he's like, at the end of this long
joke he says, you know, I've I've come in many
of vagina. I've come in many a box. He goes,
you know what the difference of coming in a vagina
or a box is the homeless people hate it when
you come in the box.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
But it was a good weekend. It was It was great.
Speaker 5 (18:13):
And oh I was going to tell you though. They
were pushing your show, Tyler big time. After every show
there was the Dope Show. They kept mentioning was coming
up this week, right.
Speaker 4 (18:23):
Yeah, the host was mentioning it.
Speaker 3 (18:25):
Oh yeah, that's nice.
Speaker 5 (18:28):
Every every show he was mentioning the Dope Show.
Speaker 3 (18:31):
And the Under the Influence Show.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
And me double check who's on that show for I
know those guys are on it. That's fun.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:42):
No, but just and I would like everyonce once when
I could remember, when he would say the Dope Show,
I'd be like, it's a great show.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
Go to it, just yell it. Hell yeah yeah, oh yeah,
And yeah.
Speaker 5 (18:55):
It was a it was a good weekend. And I
also I crossed over to fifteen thousand followers this.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Weekend on Instagram. And so now next up is ja
to one hundred k. That's the goal.
Speaker 5 (19:13):
My goal is the end of twenty twenty six to
get to one hundred thousand. Sooner, I'm gonna do it
sooner than that. I'm just Carlos has taught, He's trained me. Well,
Carlos is my uh my guru, my self helped guru.
Speaker 6 (19:27):
Now if I can just help my goddamn self, it
don't be all right, all right, I ain't no where
fifteen thousand, but I have knocking on the door of six.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I'll take you. I'll take six.
Speaker 5 (19:35):
Great dude, I mean, and it's like it was I've
been saying at the end of the shows. Now you know,
to follow me and you can support the comics. Won't
cost anything.
Speaker 3 (19:46):
Just follow us. And I mean, I think it's I
think it might be working. We'll see. Uh what'd you
do this weekend? Carlos? Have some pretty dope shows that
you did?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (19:57):
What did I do this weekend? Man? This weekend?
Speaker 6 (20:00):
Are all starting to blur together now. But I was
at the La Comedy Cup on Sunday, Friday and Saturday.
I don't remember where the.
Speaker 3 (20:07):
Funk I was. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
That's a great question.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
This is how you know. I'm getting old. Your calendar
on your calendar in front of me right now.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
But I feel like I was somewhere Friday and Saturday.
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Aren't you on your computer?
Speaker 6 (20:22):
Oh no, I take that back. I was at Kimmel's
on Friday night and I'm sorry, Saturday night, I was there.
And then I was at La Comic Cup on Sunday
and I was there. Oh I did, Yeah, I know
what it is now off the rails on Wednesday, hammering
Harry's on Thursday.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Which was a complete ship show and in a good way.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
Uh talk to us about Harry's.
Speaker 6 (20:46):
Well, it's a it's a show where shout out. I'll
give the shout out to Lona and Stone Rob. They
kind of co host that shows line of Reza show,
but so on a Rob is there as well, being
the the sidekick. But it's where they encourage the audience
to heckle. So it's one of those shows which you know,
(21:06):
that's not my thing. You know, we've talked about that
on numerous Okay, I'm not I'm not a roast comic.
I don't I don't say anything to the honesty and
unless it's in the context of what of my material
or if they say something to.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Me being in the moment. Yeah, yeah, it worked.
Speaker 6 (21:20):
It worked out because one of the comics, it was
only I'm gonna say, maybe twenty five people there when
the show started, she walked probably seventeen of them.
Speaker 3 (21:32):
Uh, you didn't name, but a comic walking. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
They was like they heard a female comed Yeah, they heard.
Speaker 6 (21:42):
The first guy, but again and then she went up
right after that, and they was like, yeah, I think
we're gonna go ahead and cash get our check and
get the hell out of here.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
So that left us with.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Seven eight nine people there.
Speaker 6 (21:56):
Uh, and they would all say two was sitting here,
three were sitting here, year three more were sitting kind
of behind that. And then there was some people way
in the back and they was like, we're not here
for this ship at all. So literally we just had
to go up and it was nobody's talked to so
you one comic before me, he tried his material. They
wasn't having it. So I pretty much was like, fuck,
if we're just gonna go out in the audience now
(22:17):
and just fuck with people because it's hammering Harry's, which
is they're They're known for having their staff talk shit
to to the people who were eating, so it's already
liked that.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
So we ultimately winded up having a woman put baby
oil on her chest, which was on her own chest.
Speaker 6 (22:33):
Yes some first of all was some random baby oil
and hair and hammering Harry's, which was odd in itself,
but yeah, we we wind up convincing her to put
baby oil on our chests in the name.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
Of comy, and that was it.
Speaker 4 (22:47):
I'm uh wild.
Speaker 5 (22:52):
Roxanne, Roxanne takes the baby oil.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Roxanne takes the baby on.
Speaker 3 (22:56):
Rock. Sanne takes the baby all.
Speaker 6 (22:58):
And Rock was buck wild to say the least, anyway,
but she got she got shy when the baby all
came out.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Mm hm okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (23:09):
I couldn't imagine going to a comedy show and then
leaving with my chest covered and baby.
Speaker 4 (23:17):
As an audience member or a performer. I would be
so upset.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
Well, this power says enough about if that says anything.
Speaker 6 (23:34):
It was on Freemont, So if you know about Freemont,
you know what The Boutrey is finest, so.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Favorite place fuck Fremont with every five of my being.
Speaker 3 (23:47):
I hate it.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
I hate Freemont Street.
Speaker 5 (23:50):
It's so funny by Jeffrey said, the oil has to
go somewhere.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Ell that Diddy is out of the.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
But that's what I found we and I was like,
why is it just as random about a baby woll
at a restaurant like that? That's weird in itself. So
I had to make fun of that. And then the
Stone and Robin I just started playing off each other.
Then Roxanne came in and we was like, well, fuck,
let's see we get Roxanne.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Just put some baby on on a chest.
Speaker 5 (24:14):
Yeah, Derek said, I don't like Freedmont either, but Skankfester
is a good time down there. Skakfesters. It's crazy. I
told that to Lewis. I was like, it's crazy what
you've been able to do with. I mean, it's it's
it's it's respectable. I mean, I mean, I don't know
how you say. It's just it's amazing. It's so dope
(24:39):
that what he's been able to do with.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
But aren't they moving it this year and moving it
to Austin?
Speaker 3 (24:45):
Maybe I don't know.
Speaker 6 (24:47):
Yeah, if I heard correctly, I believe it's moving to Austin.
That to be wrong. You had to google it. But
I've never been a part of skan Fest. I only
went once in the years that they've had. Okay, so yeah,
so yeah, it's it's it was an interesting it's an
interesting little little comedy thing.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
Uh oh too soon?
Speaker 3 (25:18):
No, yeah, R I P R I P. And Malcolm
Jamal Warner too, that's.
Speaker 4 (25:27):
Huh yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:29):
He uh drowned.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
He drowned in a rip tide.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Crazy.
Speaker 4 (25:36):
Sorry for somebody who's like vacationing in a beach resort, Well,
you know what.
Speaker 6 (25:45):
Those have you all ever been a part of being
in the water when it has those ties to kind
of pull you out?
Speaker 3 (25:52):
I don't think so.
Speaker 4 (25:53):
I don't like that, dude.
Speaker 6 (25:56):
That is I've seen it happen. I've seen I've been
a part of it. Not not to that degree, clear
because I'm here. But my ex girlfriend we went to
Hawaii one time and we were standing on the beach
and our Samda went in the water and she went
running after it, and then the current came up and
pushed up and then was sucking her back in and
(26:18):
I was grabbing hold on to it, but it was
so the ground.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Was so soft. We it almost suck.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
Well, you know it was.
Speaker 1 (26:24):
It can get real dangerous down there, real quick.
Speaker 3 (26:29):
Dude, and Angels.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
It's crazy too because I've been seeing Malcolm Jawal Warner
a lot because Angel watch The Resident and he's he's
great on there or he was great on there.
Speaker 3 (26:41):
But fuck, it's so crazy.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
When I saw that, I was like, holy shit, just
and from everything that I've read and and you hearing interviews,
he was just a fucking great dude.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
So I mean that just did. It's crazy. I think
it's my age.
Speaker 4 (26:57):
And yeah, he was like fifty seven, and I think
is when he.
Speaker 3 (27:00):
Okay, he's old.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
Oh I think he's fifty four. I think he's yeah,
fifty four, that's still. That's still, that's under.
Speaker 4 (27:10):
J Ozzie was seventy six.
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Now that's my age.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Now we talk to somebody and your range.
Speaker 5 (27:22):
It's crazy that he just did that concert, which he
said was going to be his last one, and then
he was like good night world.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
Yeah right.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
People were like shocked. I heard some people were like
I'm so shocked he died. I'm like, how are you shocked?
He was like wheeled out on stage, like he looks
so old. I was shocked, still wived, right, I'm still
shocked He's alive for sure.
Speaker 3 (27:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
I definitely had to google and be like, is this
nineteen years ago? It's like, oh no, he was alive.
Speaker 6 (27:56):
But yeah, now people, anybody over, I'm gonna say seventy.
I don't know at this point why anybody would be shocked. Disappointed.
I can understand that, but shocked now, yeah.
Speaker 5 (28:11):
I mean that's like for the drugs and all the
shit he did. Absolutely, dude, that would be like one
of us living to one hundred and fifty exactly. And
I mean, you know, all things considered, he fucking wo performed.
That's so fucking wild. Like, did you ever, Carlos when
you were here in Vegas? Did you ever see rich
(28:33):
little over at the laugh Factory?
Speaker 1 (28:36):
I did not, but I heard about him.
Speaker 3 (28:38):
What did you hear? That he was old and.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
He was on his last leg?
Speaker 3 (28:45):
Literally that's all.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
This show wasn't that good?
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Well? Yeah I saw it.
Speaker 5 (28:53):
I sat through a show, and I would say it
was a good show for his for the people that
are fans of his, absolutely, and for for what the
ages he's got to actually let me see how old
he is, because.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
Asshole age.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
That's the one thing about being a musician versus being
a comedian is that like the older comic gets, it's
like the better you get almost the funnier you get,
because like you're not trying to be sexy on stage.
You know, if you came out and you're like one
hundred years old and you're doing comedy, people have almost
(29:37):
more respect for you.
Speaker 4 (29:38):
If you're a musician, people are like, what the fuck
are you doing?
Speaker 6 (29:43):
Oh dude, Yeah, but he's still out here smoke he said,
down else or Richie Valley?
Speaker 3 (29:51):
Is that his name, Richie Valley?
Speaker 5 (29:52):
That he looks like one of the fucking Disney animatronics
where he's just like like he's they're playing the fun
and he's supposed to be lip singing, but he's literally
just gonna.
Speaker 4 (30:03):
Oh god, dude, those clips are so bad and they
keep coming. He's still on tour. It's every city.
Speaker 6 (30:11):
He's question is what I mean, at what point did
those dudes be like, all right, man, I'm gonna go
ahead and cashny and I haven't done enough.
Speaker 1 (30:19):
I need to sit down and retire and just enjoy
the rest of his life. What point do you be like,
all right, man, I'm done.
Speaker 5 (30:26):
Yeah, dude, it's uh, it's crazy, but I wouldn't wanted
to say on Rich Little like so his show, I mean, dude,
he's still I have respect for it.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
You know.
Speaker 5 (30:37):
Again, it's his audience because it was a bunch of
older people that you know, grew up on Rich Little
and uh for those that don't know, for people that
are like.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Who are you guys talking about I'm twenty three? Uh?
Speaker 5 (30:50):
Rich Little back in the day, he guest hosted the
Tonight Show. But he did impressions and he did. He
was famous for his Johnny Carson impression.
Speaker 3 (30:57):
I mean he did everybody.
Speaker 5 (30:59):
And and so he goes out his show again predominantly
an older crowd, very old, and he's but dude, he
puts his suit on, it's Rich Little. And then he'll
go out there and what he would do is he
would talk about he would tell a story like you'd say,
I remember I was hosting on the Tonight Show and
(31:21):
we had John Wayne. I'm just making up a name,
but he you know, we had John Wayne on there,
and and then he would show the clip of that
interview that he was just talking about, and then he
might do a quick little impression afterwards. Uh, and that
was that was pretty much. It was more clips and
stories and everything. But I mean, in the grand scheme
(31:42):
of things, I think the people that came to see him,
they enjoyed the show, got out of it, you know,
they got something out of it, memories and all that. Yeah, exactly,
like let me get on AOL.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Yeah. I respected it.
Speaker 5 (31:59):
I I was like good for him, and fuck, I
mean shit, I I it may sound crazy, but I
want to do stand up till till I'm no longer here.
Speaker 3 (32:09):
I'm gonna.
Speaker 5 (32:09):
I'm gonna, you know, and being the old folks home
talking about fucking fucking these old grannies.
Speaker 3 (32:15):
Yeah, a couple of years, do you hit that.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
I went to another concert this weekend. I saw the
band Stabbing Westward.
Speaker 4 (32:27):
Do you guys know that band?
Speaker 3 (32:28):
No?
Speaker 2 (32:30):
So they were like a nineties industrial like this is
like stuff that I would listen to in high school
type of stuff. I don't even know, like they have
one famous song. It doesn't matter anyways, I go see
the show. It's my girlfriend's birthday present because she's a
big fan of them, and her cousin and her like
(32:52):
used to love them, so they're both with me, and
we're watching them and they're singing along. They know every
fucking song, and I'm like watching this guy sit and
like this is their revival tour because they broke up
they're getting back together. We're at the sub Station and Ballard,
which is a venue smaller than Tacoma Comedy Club for
(33:12):
this band that's been around for like forty years.
Speaker 4 (33:16):
Uh, and the lead.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Singer is fucking sixty years old, bro, and he's doing
like this fucking you know, like grunge metal singing, and
he like stops and he gets off stage and he
comes back on it, and we're like, where'd he dip
out to because like the music was still playing.
Speaker 4 (33:35):
He goes, ah, I had to put my knee brace on.
Speaker 1 (33:43):
Im.
Speaker 5 (33:46):
The only thing I can think is like what the
equivalent would be in stand up would be if I'm
if I'm seventy years old and I'm going up talking
about like, yeah, this is at the club this weekend,
and you're you're, you know, you're trying to you're either
line or or trying to relate to like younger people
instead of just being true to yourself.
Speaker 2 (34:05):
You know, it would be like if you were dressed
like a younger person, really baggy pants on, like a
real oversized Jackety wardrobe style.
Speaker 3 (34:20):
Right now.
Speaker 4 (34:21):
I don't hope you guys know that.
Speaker 5 (34:22):
Those fucking big red bomb boots, those fucking dumb.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Boots them astral.
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Yes, what's up? Guys like my shoes?
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Fuck? You have a builty and audience.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
But they'd be like Mane would years it's a bringer.
Speaker 4 (34:47):
Show, right, yeah, well, guys, is my last show?
Speaker 3 (34:56):
Well ship we said we want to Oh go ahead.
Speaker 4 (34:59):
No, I'm just like that is the thing though, Like
you can do comedy until your last day. Oh, it's
totally fine. But being a musician, I feel like it's not.
It's just it looks terrible.
Speaker 2 (35:15):
Even Aussie's last show, everybody's like, look at him go
and I'm like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3 (35:19):
Bro?
Speaker 4 (35:19):
They wheeled him out there. This seems like a lash
cash grab for his family.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
You know, maybe they were talking about his spirit. Look
at it.
Speaker 4 (35:27):
Go, wow, he died three weeks ago. They just propped
him up.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
At Bernie's.
Speaker 5 (35:40):
All right, let's uh, let's do our plugs and get
the fuck out. And then we got Loving Black and
White tomorrow and uh yeah, but what you got Carlos?
Speaker 3 (35:55):
Uh nothing.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
This week actually been a super light week, but I
got coming up.
Speaker 6 (35:59):
I'll be headline of Delirious Comedy Club Sacramentos coming up
and supposed to go back to Dallas.
Speaker 3 (36:05):
We're working on that, so we'll see how that goes.
Speaker 6 (36:07):
And of course I'm sure I'll have some shows here locally,
So check out Part Time Famous dot com and Tyler on.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
This weekend Comedy Club, Spokane Comedy Club.
Speaker 4 (36:21):
Doing my Thing, Dope Show dot com.
Speaker 5 (36:24):
And uh this week Beverly mass at off Cabot on Friday,
and then coming up. I'll be on the Naturals podcast
with Derek next week. But uh Tulsa, Oklahoma in August, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Gilbert, Arizona,
Rapid City, South Dakota, and Tucson, Arizona. Go to Big
(36:45):
Irsja dot com for tickets and until next week. If
you if a person fucking listens to this till the end,
you deserve a prize.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Your prize is to go to it ready to review
this podcast. Give it five stars. You motherfuckers.
Speaker 7 (37:07):
Fucking say something nice, you Fox right now, motherfuckers, you
know this fucking piece of ship. For five years, the
averaging about two fucking reviews a year, go fucking write
(37:28):
some of you motherfuckers.
Speaker 4 (37:31):
Oh fuck, that is the realest I've ever heard you.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
God yeah do what the fuck
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