November 13, 2023 • 25 mins
If you're ready to protect your peace and energy this holiday season and beyond, this episode is for you. Kristi shares a few of her favorite tips for handling overwhelm and energy drains, as well as having more fun and creating more joy on the regular. Plus, a small new habit that can produce big, positive results.
Mentioned in this episode:
The Joy School Membership: https://kristilingspencer.com/the-joy-school-invitation-page/
Free 11 Habits of the Happiest People Masterclass: https://kristilingspencer.com/11-habits-of-the-happiest-people-masterclass/
Mentioned in this episode:
The Joy School Membership: https://kristilingspencer.com/the-joy-school-invitation-page/
Free 11 Habits of the Happiest People Masterclass: https://kristilingspencer.com/11-habits-of-the-happiest-people-masterclass/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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(00:03):
Welcome to the Joyschool podcast. Realtalk about what it takes to create your
happiest, healthiest, and most dynamiclife. And now here's your host,
transformational life coach, happiness strategist andbest selling author Christy ling Spencer. Well,
hey, their friends, I amso happy to be back with you
(00:24):
for another episode of the show.Thank you so much for being here.
Hope you've been enjoying this season.We've got a couple more episodes to go,
and I am so excited for today'stopic. So I feel like,
and this is the feedback I'm gettingthat peace and protecting our energy is so
(00:45):
important to so many of us rightnow with everything going on in the world,
and with how busy this year's beena lot of people playing catch up
with their businesses and their lives andall the things right and everything happening in
the world. World. As Imentioned, many of us are feeling kind
of drained and like we're just cravingpeace and we want to protect our energy
(01:07):
right And I feel like going intothe holiday season that is going to be
a big priority for many people,And so I thought I would cover four
of my favorite most powerful ways toprotect our energy and our peace, and
not just for the holiday season,but we're going to make this sort of
holidays centric, but really any time. So if you're listening to this episode
(01:30):
and it happens to be after theholiday season or any time of year,
these are still going to apply.But the holiday season being a time of
joy and friends and family and simplepleasures, it can also be a time
of overwhelmed stress triggers and never endingto do lists. Can you relate?
(01:52):
It's a time to step up prioritizingprotection of our energy and peace. And
I feel like getting in the habitof kind of protecting those things often can
help us in so many ways,not just to be happier and more joyful,
but protect our nervous system and ourbrain and reduce anxiety right and all
(02:14):
kinds of positive things, just byfocusing on some positive habits to help protect
our peace and our energy. Andwhat's great about this is that we have
so much power over how we createan experience, not just the holiday season,
but any season of our lives ifwe set our intentions and boundaries in
(02:36):
advance and then stick to them asbest we can. Now that's the hard
part, and it does take practiceand creating some new habits, but it
is totally worth it. So toget us all started, I wanted to
share four of my favorites here,and these are ways to create more joy,
feel better, feel the way wewant to feel more often, and
(02:59):
help protect our personal energy and peaceduring the holidays and beyond. So the
first one is and I talk aboutthis on the show quite often, but
it really does relate back to protectingour peace and our energy right, and
that is to prioritize your rest andself care with next level intention and purpose.
(03:25):
So we all know that if we'rereally doing our best practice of creating
our most joyful and best life,that we are putting our self care at
the top of our priority list.But this doesn't always happen, and that's
okay, that's part of life.We don't have to be perfect at it.
But keeping it front of mind duringthe holiday season is especially important.
(03:49):
And that's why I say with nextlevel intention and purpose, and really for
anything that you want to do ona higher level, going into it with
next level intention and purpose really createsa great foundation for making things happen and
moving the needle. So we shouldalways be prioritizing our self care if we're
(04:11):
on a path for creating our bestlife and becoming the best version of ourselves,
right, But the holidays can throwour regular habits and routines way off
track. Now. I don't knowabout you, but I can get distracted
by to do lists and shopping andgifts ign need to buy, and parties
I'm invited to and just so manythings. On top of my regular responsibilities
and my business and everything else andthe coaching that I do, there's a
(04:34):
lot. So creating a clear planfor ourselves this season on what we want
the season to look like, howwe want to feel, and then planning
our days around those things makes abig difference. Again, it comes back
to that tremendous intention and purpose behindour self care, and part of that
(04:57):
is also saying no to obligations andevents that are not an absolute yes in
your soul. So we're so temptedin the holidays to say yes to every
party and yes to every invitation,but we end up wearing ourselves out.
So try to resist the temptation tosay yes to every invite and overschedule yourself
(05:17):
with things right. A good wayto do that is whenever you receive an
invite for anything, or somebody askingyou to participate in something, or can
you volunteer for this or that?Take a pause, take a moment and
ask yourself, does this align withthe open space I want to keep in
my schedule? Does this align withmy self care? And is my soul
(05:40):
telling me yes or no to this? And then base your answer on that.
It's a great way to approach thingsand really can help you be true
to yourself, not just during theholidays, but year round. And don't
apologize for taking time out to rest, relax, and recharge. That's really
what this season should be all about. Quiet time with our friends and family,
(06:01):
quiet time alone, time by thefire or the holiday tree or whatever
feeds your soul. Right, Butif your soul is tired, you can't
shine and be the best version ofyou. And you and the people you
love deserve that version of you,right, So prioritizing your needs is the
(06:23):
best way to show up as thatperson more of the time who is full
of great energy, love, lightand joy. And the world needs that
from you. The world needs allof us to show up with joy and
light and kindness and love and enthusiasm. Right. But in order to do
(06:43):
that, we have to rest andput our self care at the top of
our list. So that's number onefor the season. Number two, and
this is such a good one,choose a small talk only approach with difficult
people. So this is a seasonwhen we're attending lots of gatherings, parties,
work parties, holiday parties of friends, family gatherings, and we really
(07:10):
know sometimes when we're going to thesethings that oh, my gosh, that
person is going to be there andtheir negative or their draining or their energy
vampire. And really, if wejust go in with the mindset of small
talk only with people that we knoware argumentative or negative or draining, and
just keep it light and keep itshort, and then move on to spend
(07:34):
more time at that party or eventwith people that you know are calm for
you and bring you peace and happiness, people who are full of that love
and light we were just talking about, right, So choose a small talk
only approach with difficult people. Andthe other thing you can do in this
scenario is really take some time toexamine your own triggers. So a strategy
(07:59):
here in addition to sticking with thesmall talk, is to recognize that when
you might actually be triggered by somebodywhen it's not actually what they're saying or
doing that's upsetting to you. Thiscan be an opportunity for healing. This
can be an opportunity really if youjust take that step to realize, oh,
this is my stuff, this isn'tthat person. Not only is this
(08:22):
great for healing, but you canavoid conflicts right because you can just choose
the mantra I choose peace. Ichoose peace. I feel triggered right now,
but I choose peace. If you'retempted to react harshly when you do
feel triggered. And the holidays canbe a triggering time for so many,
especially with family, but take alook at why those triggers occur, and
(08:46):
is it your own unhealed stuff?Right, Because when you realize that and
you realize it's not actually the otherperson, that's a great thing. It
can change the way you see thatperson, but it also changes the way
you see the situation and you canbegin working on that. Sometimes with me,
I will feel triggered and I'm like, oh, I feel triggered right
now? Why is this? Andwhen I look at it, I'm like,
(09:09):
oh, I see where that camefrom and it had really nothing to
do with what that person said.And then I sometimes even laugh at myself
like, huh, silly me,Wow, I didn't even know it was
affecting me in that way. Andthen I do a little bit of self
work around that and it feels great. So these are two of the things
you can do in a situation whenyou're at gatherings with friends, family,
(09:30):
coworkers, whatever it may be.Choose small talk only with difficult people because
we know who those difficult people areand know that when we feel triggered or
when certain people trigger us, toreally take a minute to step back and
look at that trigger. Why amI triggered right now? Is it really
something that person did or said?And sometimes it is. Sometimes people say
(09:52):
awful things, right, But whenyou take a minute to really look at
it, then you can create alittle foundation for yourself on how to move
forward with that. All right?Number three, this is a good one.
Another good one. Oh, I'mloving this episode. Try choosing low
alcohol cocktails or fancy mocktails. Sofor people who do consume alcohol, and
(10:16):
I do on occasion, I've cutback drastically in the last couple of years
though the holidays can be a timeof too much and maybe a little regret
huh. But the truth is thatexcess in excess alcohol is a downer.
It's actually a depressant. It candrain you of energy, it can cause
brain fog, dreaded hangovers, itcan affect your sleep, and it has
(10:41):
a long list of not so greatnegative health effects. So, especially during
the holiday time, cutting back canreally help you protect your energy and your
mind right because you're reducing your brainfog and you're feeling better more of the
time. I can't tell you whata positive difference cutting back on alcohol has
(11:03):
made in my life. And really, I was never much of an over
drinker. I was never much ofa drinker at a high level, ever,
But I just decided that even twodrinks wasn't really serving me, you
know, out to dinner. Icould still feel it the next day,
especially if I've gotten older, andI just didn't feel the need for it,
and so I looked at ways tocut back. I still enjoy a
(11:24):
Kraft cocktail or a glass of Bubblynow and then, but two of the
ways, a couple of the waysthat I have successfully cut back without really
feel like I'm sacrificing, right,is at gatherings or parties. I first
of all, I love the riseand the popularity of low and no alcohol
cocktails. There are so many greatrecipes online now, and they're beautiful some
(11:48):
of them. And if you're atan event with a bar and there's a
bartender, you can actually order yoursthat way. So mocktails are great.
And just learn a couple of simplerecipes. I mean, the most basic,
simple one is just sparkling mineral waterwith a squeeze of lime and a
pretty glass, right, But thereare some a little bit fancier. You
can find the recipes online, asI said. But another easy one,
(12:11):
if you're at a party someone else'sparty, is to do spritzers with half
and half. So you can takea wine glass and do half wine or
half champagne or half sparkling wine andthen half sparkling mineral water or just regular
sparkling water, and it tastes verysimilar. It's festive and bubbly, but
yet it's more hydrating and you're onlygetting half or even less. Sometimes I'll
(12:33):
do one third of a glass oflet's say, a pinogregio and then two
thirds of the glass as the sparklingwater, or you can do a mimosa
this way. You can just doa splash of sparkling wine and then like
two thirds sparkling water and a splashof whatever your favorite juice is. So
this is a great way to cutback. Another low alcohol cocktail I love
(12:54):
and then I'll share another mocktail withyou, is a low alcohol apparol spritz.
So I love me and apparall sprits, and they are so festive and
beautiful during the holidays. If youdon't know what one looks like, does
google apparol sprits. It's spelled apeerl and it's an apperteef, like an
orange flavored apperteeth, and an apperallsprits is a beautiful drink and if you
(13:18):
sip it, it'll last you awhile. So what I love to do
is take that concept and I justreduce the amount of apaol and sparkling wine
in it, and I add moresparkling water. So a traditional apparal sprits
is apparol, prosecco and sparkling mineralwater, sometimes an orange flavored sparkling mineral
(13:41):
water, and usually more of theaperaol and more of the bubbly right.
But in my version, I dotwo ounces sparkling wine or prosecco, a
half ounce of aparol, and fourounces of sparkling mineral water. So it's
almost like an apparall spritz spritzer,if that makes sense, and I throw
(14:01):
in an orange slice. It's agorgeous drink, and probably about three of
these equals one drink. It's prettygreat. So if you want to make
like a virgin or a no alcoholaddition of that, you can just use
sparkling like an orange flavored sparkling waterand squeeze an orange slice into it and
go from there in a beautiful glass. And that's a really good little mocktail
(14:24):
version. But so there are someideas for you on cutting back. I
will also say that when I madethis change a couple of years ago,
I did it as part of awhole health mission that I was on,
and I was also trying to dropsome weight, to shed some extra weight
that I had gained over the pandemic, and just through getting older right in
hormones and without too much effort,I lost twenty pounds. It was a
(14:50):
beautiful thing. Now it took afew months to do that. But I
really believe that the number one reasonfor that, in addition to stepping up
exercise a little more and walking moreand cutting back on a few things in
my diet, the number one thingI think really helped me was this was
cutting back on the alcohol. Sothis is a way. These are ways
a few fun ideas that you canresist that temptation over the holidays and still
(15:11):
enjoy your festivities. All right.Number four, and this is another great
one. Focus your energies and intentionson planning for the new year ahead.
So one of my favorite feelings isthe excitement and possibility that comes with fresh
starts, and the New Year's oneof the biggest. I always love it.
(15:33):
In fact, New Year's Day mightbe my favorite holiday, just because
it feels so peaceful and it feelslike a fresh start, and all of
the possibility ahead just feels so beautiful. It's just great energy. So I
love journaling, writing down goals anddreams, creating action plans for the coming
year and everything that I want tocreate in it. And I keep a
(15:54):
paper calendar and planner, and Ilove feeling those things in in advance,
with all the things that I'm lookingforward to in the year coming up.
So this is a great little retreatthat you can create for yourself over the
holiday season. And it does kindof tie in with Number one, which
was amping up your self care ona new level. Right, planning for
(16:14):
your year ahead feels great, it'speaceful, it will help you feel more
organized and therefore more calm and protectingyour piece and energy. And also this
is a great practice too because itreally can help you work through and get
clear on what you want in themonths and the year to come right.
And there really isn't much that feelsbetter than that. So looking forward to
(16:37):
writing down your goals and really allthe ways to level up your life such
a great great thing to do.And like I said, I love a
paper planner. Electronic is great,but there is something very cathartic and mindful
about writing it down. Also,now I do keep a Google calendar where
I put my meetings in zoom calland things, but I've got my paper
(17:02):
calendar that is always on my deskand I love it. And I have
to admit to I'm one of thosepeople that puts little stickers for the season,
and I use colored pencils and allthe goodies in there, and it
just makes it a little more funand joyful. And I find mine on
Amazon. So in fact, I'vegot an Amazon store and I will link
to that on my blog in theHoliday Gift Guide, But you can jump
(17:23):
into my Amazon store and you willactually find my exact planner that I'm using
for twenty twenty four. So ifyou go to Christylinkspencer dot com and check
the blog post there with the HolidayGift Guide, you will be able to
jump in there and see my plannerand find one similar that interests you.
All Right, So all of this, by the way, leads me to
(17:45):
sharing with you that I'm super excitedto announce that after hearing about it for
a long time and after months ofwork on my end, my signature coaching
community, the Joyschool is now officiallyopen you all. I can't tell you
how beautiful this is inside. Iam so excited with how it's come together.
(18:06):
I had originally wanted to launch thisearlier in the year, but I
really wanted to take the time tomake this experience so special for the members,
so packed with great content, soeasy to navigate, and just full
of love and support for your life. And I also wanted to create a
sense of community, so I builtmore aspects into the program to connect you
(18:30):
with other members who are growth mindedand excited about all of the things as
well. It is so fantastic,unique and special. It is like a
gym membership for the soul. It'spacked with video workshops, there's a fresh
new class on a new topic everysingle month, a new live coaching call
every single month, and bonus audios, bonus classes, and all kinds of
(18:55):
downloadable workbooks and worksheets. I actuallylike to call them inspiration sheets because when
they're fun and inspiring, they don'treally feel like work, right. And
there are so many great ones insidethis program. Now. Something to keep
in mind that really motivated me yearsago is Warren Buffett said invest in yourself
(19:15):
as much as you can. Youare your own biggest asset by far.
When I heard that back in theday, that resonated with me so much.
It is so true that the bestinvestment we can make is in ourselves.
And when I really got this,and I started investing more in myself
(19:36):
and by the way, less andstuff that I didn't really need, right
because I realized how much money Iwas wasting on just stuff I didn't need,
and when I reallocated that toward programsand books to help me grow and
things to help me create my lifeand my own self care, it was
a game changer for me. Andthis program will help guide you to do
that. It is so worth theinvestment. Is the very best holiday gift
(20:00):
you could give yourself, and Iam so looking forward to meeting so many
of you inside. Our theme forthis month is elevating your energy, and
we're going to touch on and goeven deeper into some of the things we
talked about in today's episode, andwe've got fantastic stuff coming up in December
and January. We're going to doa whole month on creating your very best
(20:22):
year ever in twenty twenty four.It's going to have lots of bonuses.
And when you join Okay, andthis was important to me, you all,
there is a bonus, a bundleof bonus gifts you're going to get
that I'm going to send you inthe actual snail mail. Right. We
spend so much time on screens andwith intangibles these days, and things coming
(20:45):
in the mail that we can actuallyhold in our hands is kind of a
lost art, and so I wantedto put together a bundle of bonus gifts
for our members that are physical giftsthat will support you in this journey.
And it includes a signed copy ofmy book, Operation Happiness, which is
sold out, and I am alsolooking at a paperback for that next year.
Everyone, so heads up for that. But a signed copy of my
(21:07):
book, a gorgeous bookmark that matchesthe school, a journal, a Rosequartz
crystal, and some other goodies aregoing to come to you as a bonus.
So go to join the Joyschool dotcom. You can read all about
it there. You can see avideo I created for you that talks all
about the program and how it willhelp you elevate your happiness and your joy
(21:29):
and your piece and reach your goalsin twenty twenty four. Please check it
out and I hope that it resonateswith you. It really is gorgeous and
I'm so proud of how it's cometogether. That's at Jointhjoyschool dot com.
You can also find the link overon my website Christylinkspencer dot com, where
I've got some other goodies for youthere as well. All right, this
(21:52):
brings us to the section of theshow called the Joyschool Habits, and this
is the part of the show whereI like to share a small habit or
shift you can make that will havea big payoff. So for this week's
Joy School habit, I would lovefor you to get in the habit of
texting someone close to you on aregular basis, whether it's your partner,
(22:14):
your best friend, your spouse,your mom, whoever that person is,
texting them on a regular basis thingsthat you love about them and appreciate about
them, because this will not onlybring you closer and also bring more positive
energy to your phone right which isso overloaded with a bunch of other stuff,
(22:36):
but it will also lift you up. There are even studies that show
that when we share kind words,whether it's be a writing or verbally with
other people, that it makes usfeel good too, that both people involved
benefit emotionally and in their happiness.So think about who are maybe one or
(22:56):
two or three people that you canget in the habit of a couple of
time week just texting saying just sayingI love you, hope you have a
beautiful day, or just saying Ireally appreciated yesterday morning. When you made
my coffee. I was so tiredand you made me smile, or just
anything small and positive that you cantext. You will be surprised what a
(23:17):
difference this will make. And ittakes thirty seconds to send that text.
So I like to call my husbandmy coffee hero. So sometimes I'll shoot
him a text and say you're mycoffee hero, thank you, because he
makes my coffee so much in themorning. But just positive, loving things,
infusing that energy into your text,infusing that energy, sending that text
(23:37):
of love and appreciation for no reasonto people close to you in your life.
It is such a mood elevator foreverybody. All right, If you
enjoyed this episode, I would beso grateful if you would leave a review
over on Apple Podcasts. I can'tshare with you enough how much this helps
the show and helps other people whomight enjoy it find it and discover it
(24:00):
and be able to follow and besure to connect me on Facebook and Instagram.
I have fabulous communities. They're beautifulpeople. And I invite you again
to my website, Christylinkspencer dot com, where you can get access to my
free video masterclass Eleven Habits of thehappiest people, and you can find links
there to the Joy School. Thedoors are now open for a limited time,
(24:22):
so jump over there and invest inyourself. I would love to see
you there. I believe in thisprogram so much. Every game changing shift
and habit and framework I have learnedto change my life and everything I put
into operation happiness and more will bein this program. So much of it
is science backed, and there's somany little nuggets in there that when you
(24:47):
learn them, are just these hugeaha shifts. So I can't wait to
see you all there, sending youso much love, and until next time,
remember you've got what it takes tocreate more amazing days, and more
amazing days make up a pretty amazinglife. Have a fantastic week, my
beautiful friends, Happy holidays, andI will see you soon. Cheers,
Welcome to the Joyschool podcast. Realtalk about what it takes to create your
happiest, healthiest, and most dynamiclife. And now here's your host,
transformational life coach, happiness strategist andbest selling author Christy ling Spencer. Well,
hey, their friends, I amso happy to be back with you
(00:24):
for another episode of the show.Thank you so much for being here.
Hope you've been enjoying this season.We've got a couple more episodes to go,
and I am so excited for today'stopic. So I feel like,
and this is the feedback I'm gettingthat peace and protecting our energy is so
(00:45):
important to so many of us rightnow with everything going on in the world,
and with how busy this year's beena lot of people playing catch up
with their businesses and their lives andall the things right and everything happening in
the world. World. As Imentioned, many of us are feeling kind
of drained and like we're just cravingpeace and we want to protect our energy
(01:07):
right And I feel like going intothe holiday season that is going to be
a big priority for many people,And so I thought I would cover four
of my favorite most powerful ways toprotect our energy and our peace, and
not just for the holiday season,but we're going to make this sort of
holidays centric, but really any time. So if you're listening to this episode
(01:30):
and it happens to be after theholiday season or any time of year,
these are still going to apply.But the holiday season being a time of
joy and friends and family and simplepleasures, it can also be a time
of overwhelmed stress triggers and never endingto do lists. Can you relate?
(01:52):
It's a time to step up prioritizingprotection of our energy and peace. And
I feel like getting in the habitof kind of protecting those things often can
help us in so many ways,not just to be happier and more joyful,
but protect our nervous system and ourbrain and reduce anxiety right and all
(02:14):
kinds of positive things, just byfocusing on some positive habits to help protect
our peace and our energy. Andwhat's great about this is that we have
so much power over how we createan experience, not just the holiday season,
but any season of our lives ifwe set our intentions and boundaries in
(02:36):
advance and then stick to them asbest we can. Now that's the hard
part, and it does take practiceand creating some new habits, but it
is totally worth it. So toget us all started, I wanted to
share four of my favorites here,and these are ways to create more joy,
feel better, feel the way wewant to feel more often, and
(02:59):
help protect our personal energy and peaceduring the holidays and beyond. So the
first one is and I talk aboutthis on the show quite often, but
it really does relate back to protectingour peace and our energy right, and
that is to prioritize your rest andself care with next level intention and purpose.
(03:25):
So we all know that if we'rereally doing our best practice of creating
our most joyful and best life,that we are putting our self care at
the top of our priority list.But this doesn't always happen, and that's
okay, that's part of life.We don't have to be perfect at it.
But keeping it front of mind duringthe holiday season is especially important.
(03:49):
And that's why I say with nextlevel intention and purpose, and really for
anything that you want to do ona higher level, going into it with
next level intention and purpose really createsa great foundation for making things happen and
moving the needle. So we shouldalways be prioritizing our self care if we're
(04:11):
on a path for creating our bestlife and becoming the best version of ourselves,
right, But the holidays can throwour regular habits and routines way off
track. Now. I don't knowabout you, but I can get distracted
by to do lists and shopping andgifts ign need to buy, and parties
I'm invited to and just so manythings. On top of my regular responsibilities
and my business and everything else andthe coaching that I do, there's a
(04:34):
lot. So creating a clear planfor ourselves this season on what we want
the season to look like, howwe want to feel, and then planning
our days around those things makes abig difference. Again, it comes back
to that tremendous intention and purpose behindour self care, and part of that
(04:57):
is also saying no to obligations andevents that are not an absolute yes in
your soul. So we're so temptedin the holidays to say yes to every
party and yes to every invitation,but we end up wearing ourselves out.
So try to resist the temptation tosay yes to every invite and overschedule yourself
(05:17):
with things right. A good wayto do that is whenever you receive an
invite for anything, or somebody askingyou to participate in something, or can
you volunteer for this or that?Take a pause, take a moment and
ask yourself, does this align withthe open space I want to keep in
my schedule? Does this align withmy self care? And is my soul
(05:40):
telling me yes or no to this? And then base your answer on that.
It's a great way to approach thingsand really can help you be true
to yourself, not just during theholidays, but year round. And don't
apologize for taking time out to rest, relax, and recharge. That's really
what this season should be all about. Quiet time with our friends and family,
(06:01):
quiet time alone, time by thefire or the holiday tree or whatever
feeds your soul. Right, Butif your soul is tired, you can't
shine and be the best version ofyou. And you and the people you
love deserve that version of you,right, So prioritizing your needs is the
(06:23):
best way to show up as thatperson more of the time who is full
of great energy, love, lightand joy. And the world needs that
from you. The world needs allof us to show up with joy and
light and kindness and love and enthusiasm. Right. But in order to do
(06:43):
that, we have to rest andput our self care at the top of
our list. So that's number onefor the season. Number two, and
this is such a good one,choose a small talk only approach with difficult
people. So this is a seasonwhen we're attending lots of gatherings, parties,
work parties, holiday parties of friends, family gatherings, and we really
(07:10):
know sometimes when we're going to thesethings that oh, my gosh, that
person is going to be there andtheir negative or their draining or their energy
vampire. And really, if wejust go in with the mindset of small
talk only with people that we knoware argumentative or negative or draining, and
just keep it light and keep itshort, and then move on to spend
(07:34):
more time at that party or eventwith people that you know are calm for
you and bring you peace and happiness, people who are full of that love
and light we were just talking about, right, So choose a small talk
only approach with difficult people. Andthe other thing you can do in this
scenario is really take some time toexamine your own triggers. So a strategy
(07:59):
here in addition to sticking with thesmall talk, is to recognize that when
you might actually be triggered by somebodywhen it's not actually what they're saying or
doing that's upsetting to you. Thiscan be an opportunity for healing. This
can be an opportunity really if youjust take that step to realize, oh,
this is my stuff, this isn'tthat person. Not only is this
(08:22):
great for healing, but you canavoid conflicts right because you can just choose
the mantra I choose peace. Ichoose peace. I feel triggered right now,
but I choose peace. If you'retempted to react harshly when you do
feel triggered. And the holidays canbe a triggering time for so many,
especially with family, but take alook at why those triggers occur, and
(08:46):
is it your own unhealed stuff?Right, Because when you realize that and
you realize it's not actually the otherperson, that's a great thing. It
can change the way you see thatperson, but it also changes the way
you see the situation and you canbegin working on that. Sometimes with me,
I will feel triggered and I'm like, oh, I feel triggered right
now? Why is this? Andwhen I look at it, I'm like,
(09:09):
oh, I see where that camefrom and it had really nothing to
do with what that person said.And then I sometimes even laugh at myself
like, huh, silly me,Wow, I didn't even know it was
affecting me in that way. Andthen I do a little bit of self
work around that and it feels great. So these are two of the things
you can do in a situation whenyou're at gatherings with friends, family,
(09:30):
coworkers, whatever it may be.Choose small talk only with difficult people because
we know who those difficult people areand know that when we feel triggered or
when certain people trigger us, toreally take a minute to step back and
look at that trigger. Why amI triggered right now? Is it really
something that person did or said?And sometimes it is. Sometimes people say
(09:52):
awful things, right, But whenyou take a minute to really look at
it, then you can create alittle foundation for yourself on how to move
forward with that. All right?Number three, this is a good one.
Another good one. Oh, I'mloving this episode. Try choosing low
alcohol cocktails or fancy mocktails. Sofor people who do consume alcohol, and
(10:16):
I do on occasion, I've cutback drastically in the last couple of years
though the holidays can be a timeof too much and maybe a little regret
huh. But the truth is thatexcess in excess alcohol is a downer.
It's actually a depressant. It candrain you of energy, it can cause
brain fog, dreaded hangovers, itcan affect your sleep, and it has
(10:41):
a long list of not so greatnegative health effects. So, especially during
the holiday time, cutting back canreally help you protect your energy and your
mind right because you're reducing your brainfog and you're feeling better more of the
time. I can't tell you whata positive difference cutting back on alcohol has
(11:03):
made in my life. And really, I was never much of an over
drinker. I was never much ofa drinker at a high level, ever,
But I just decided that even twodrinks wasn't really serving me, you
know, out to dinner. Icould still feel it the next day,
especially if I've gotten older, andI just didn't feel the need for it,
and so I looked at ways tocut back. I still enjoy a
(11:24):
Kraft cocktail or a glass of Bubblynow and then, but two of the
ways, a couple of the waysthat I have successfully cut back without really
feel like I'm sacrificing, right,is at gatherings or parties. I first
of all, I love the riseand the popularity of low and no alcohol
cocktails. There are so many greatrecipes online now, and they're beautiful some
(11:48):
of them. And if you're atan event with a bar and there's a
bartender, you can actually order yoursthat way. So mocktails are great.
And just learn a couple of simplerecipes. I mean, the most basic,
simple one is just sparkling mineral waterwith a squeeze of lime and a
pretty glass, right, But thereare some a little bit fancier. You
can find the recipes online, asI said. But another easy one,
(12:11):
if you're at a party someone else'sparty, is to do spritzers with half
and half. So you can takea wine glass and do half wine or
half champagne or half sparkling wine andthen half sparkling mineral water or just regular
sparkling water, and it tastes verysimilar. It's festive and bubbly, but
yet it's more hydrating and you're onlygetting half or even less. Sometimes I'll
(12:33):
do one third of a glass oflet's say, a pinogregio and then two
thirds of the glass as the sparklingwater, or you can do a mimosa
this way. You can just doa splash of sparkling wine and then like
two thirds sparkling water and a splashof whatever your favorite juice is. So
this is a great way to cutback. Another low alcohol cocktail I love
(12:54):
and then I'll share another mocktail withyou, is a low alcohol apparol spritz.
So I love me and apparall sprits, and they are so festive and
beautiful during the holidays. If youdon't know what one looks like, does
google apparol sprits. It's spelled apeerl and it's an apperteef, like an
orange flavored apperteeth, and an apperallsprits is a beautiful drink and if you
(13:18):
sip it, it'll last you awhile. So what I love to do
is take that concept and I justreduce the amount of apaol and sparkling wine
in it, and I add moresparkling water. So a traditional apparal sprits
is apparol, prosecco and sparkling mineralwater, sometimes an orange flavored sparkling mineral
(13:41):
water, and usually more of theaperaol and more of the bubbly right.
But in my version, I dotwo ounces sparkling wine or prosecco, a
half ounce of aparol, and fourounces of sparkling mineral water. So it's
almost like an apparall spritz spritzer,if that makes sense, and I throw
(14:01):
in an orange slice. It's agorgeous drink, and probably about three of
these equals one drink. It's prettygreat. So if you want to make
like a virgin or a no alcoholaddition of that, you can just use
sparkling like an orange flavored sparkling waterand squeeze an orange slice into it and
go from there in a beautiful glass. And that's a really good little mocktail
(14:24):
version. But so there are someideas for you on cutting back. I
will also say that when I madethis change a couple of years ago,
I did it as part of awhole health mission that I was on,
and I was also trying to dropsome weight, to shed some extra weight
that I had gained over the pandemic, and just through getting older right in
hormones and without too much effort,I lost twenty pounds. It was a
(14:50):
beautiful thing. Now it took afew months to do that. But I
really believe that the number one reasonfor that, in addition to stepping up
exercise a little more and walking moreand cutting back on a few things in
my diet, the number one thingI think really helped me was this was
cutting back on the alcohol. Sothis is a way. These are ways
a few fun ideas that you canresist that temptation over the holidays and still
(15:11):
enjoy your festivities. All right.Number four, and this is another great
one. Focus your energies and intentionson planning for the new year ahead.
So one of my favorite feelings isthe excitement and possibility that comes with fresh
starts, and the New Year's oneof the biggest. I always love it.
(15:33):
In fact, New Year's Day mightbe my favorite holiday, just because
it feels so peaceful and it feelslike a fresh start, and all of
the possibility ahead just feels so beautiful. It's just great energy. So I
love journaling, writing down goals anddreams, creating action plans for the coming
year and everything that I want tocreate in it. And I keep a
(15:54):
paper calendar and planner, and Ilove feeling those things in in advance,
with all the things that I'm lookingforward to in the year coming up.
So this is a great little retreatthat you can create for yourself over the
holiday season. And it does kindof tie in with Number one, which
was amping up your self care ona new level. Right, planning for
(16:14):
your year ahead feels great, it'speaceful, it will help you feel more
organized and therefore more calm and protectingyour piece and energy. And also this
is a great practice too because itreally can help you work through and get
clear on what you want in themonths and the year to come right.
And there really isn't much that feelsbetter than that. So looking forward to
(16:37):
writing down your goals and really allthe ways to level up your life such
a great great thing to do.And like I said, I love a
paper planner. Electronic is great,but there is something very cathartic and mindful
about writing it down. Also,now I do keep a Google calendar where
I put my meetings in zoom calland things, but I've got my paper
(17:02):
calendar that is always on my deskand I love it. And I have
to admit to I'm one of thosepeople that puts little stickers for the season,
and I use colored pencils and allthe goodies in there, and it
just makes it a little more funand joyful. And I find mine on
Amazon. So in fact, I'vegot an Amazon store and I will link
to that on my blog in theHoliday Gift Guide, But you can jump
(17:23):
into my Amazon store and you willactually find my exact planner that I'm using
for twenty twenty four. So ifyou go to Christylinkspencer dot com and check
the blog post there with the HolidayGift Guide, you will be able to
jump in there and see my plannerand find one similar that interests you.
All Right, So all of this, by the way, leads me to
(17:45):
sharing with you that I'm super excitedto announce that after hearing about it for
a long time and after months ofwork on my end, my signature coaching
community, the Joyschool is now officiallyopen you all. I can't tell you
how beautiful this is inside. Iam so excited with how it's come together.
(18:06):
I had originally wanted to launch thisearlier in the year, but I
really wanted to take the time tomake this experience so special for the members,
so packed with great content, soeasy to navigate, and just full
of love and support for your life. And I also wanted to create a
sense of community, so I builtmore aspects into the program to connect you
(18:30):
with other members who are growth mindedand excited about all of the things as
well. It is so fantastic,unique and special. It is like a
gym membership for the soul. It'spacked with video workshops, there's a fresh
new class on a new topic everysingle month, a new live coaching call
every single month, and bonus audios, bonus classes, and all kinds of
(18:55):
downloadable workbooks and worksheets. I actuallylike to call them inspiration sheets because when
they're fun and inspiring, they don'treally feel like work, right. And
there are so many great ones insidethis program. Now. Something to keep
in mind that really motivated me yearsago is Warren Buffett said invest in yourself
(19:15):
as much as you can. Youare your own biggest asset by far.
When I heard that back in theday, that resonated with me so much.
It is so true that the bestinvestment we can make is in ourselves.
And when I really got this,and I started investing more in myself
(19:36):
and by the way, less andstuff that I didn't really need, right
because I realized how much money Iwas wasting on just stuff I didn't need,
and when I reallocated that toward programsand books to help me grow and
things to help me create my lifeand my own self care, it was
a game changer for me. Andthis program will help guide you to do
that. It is so worth theinvestment. Is the very best holiday gift
(20:00):
you could give yourself, and Iam so looking forward to meeting so many
of you inside. Our theme forthis month is elevating your energy, and
we're going to touch on and goeven deeper into some of the things we
talked about in today's episode, andwe've got fantastic stuff coming up in December
and January. We're going to doa whole month on creating your very best
(20:22):
year ever in twenty twenty four.It's going to have lots of bonuses.
And when you join Okay, andthis was important to me, you all,
there is a bonus, a bundleof bonus gifts you're going to get
that I'm going to send you inthe actual snail mail. Right. We
spend so much time on screens andwith intangibles these days, and things coming
(20:45):
in the mail that we can actuallyhold in our hands is kind of a
lost art, and so I wantedto put together a bundle of bonus gifts
for our members that are physical giftsthat will support you in this journey.
And it includes a signed copy ofmy book, Operation Happiness, which is
sold out, and I am alsolooking at a paperback for that next year.
Everyone, so heads up for that. But a signed copy of my
(21:07):
book, a gorgeous bookmark that matchesthe school, a journal, a Rosequartz
crystal, and some other goodies aregoing to come to you as a bonus.
So go to join the Joyschool dotcom. You can read all about
it there. You can see avideo I created for you that talks all
about the program and how it willhelp you elevate your happiness and your joy
(21:29):
and your piece and reach your goalsin twenty twenty four. Please check it
out and I hope that it resonateswith you. It really is gorgeous and
I'm so proud of how it's cometogether. That's at Jointhjoyschool dot com.
You can also find the link overon my website Christylinkspencer dot com, where
I've got some other goodies for youthere as well. All right, this
(21:52):
brings us to the section of theshow called the Joyschool Habits, and this
is the part of the show whereI like to share a small habit or
shift you can make that will havea big payoff. So for this week's
Joy School habit, I would lovefor you to get in the habit of
texting someone close to you on aregular basis, whether it's your partner,
(22:14):
your best friend, your spouse,your mom, whoever that person is,
texting them on a regular basis thingsthat you love about them and appreciate about
them, because this will not onlybring you closer and also bring more positive
energy to your phone right which isso overloaded with a bunch of other stuff,
(22:36):
but it will also lift you up. There are even studies that show
that when we share kind words,whether it's be a writing or verbally with
other people, that it makes usfeel good too, that both people involved
benefit emotionally and in their happiness.So think about who are maybe one or
(22:56):
two or three people that you canget in the habit of a couple of
time week just texting saying just sayingI love you, hope you have a
beautiful day, or just saying Ireally appreciated yesterday morning. When you made
my coffee. I was so tiredand you made me smile, or just
anything small and positive that you cantext. You will be surprised what a
(23:17):
difference this will make. And ittakes thirty seconds to send that text.
So I like to call my husbandmy coffee hero. So sometimes I'll shoot
him a text and say you're mycoffee hero, thank you, because he
makes my coffee so much in themorning. But just positive, loving things,
infusing that energy into your text,infusing that energy, sending that text
(23:37):
of love and appreciation for no reasonto people close to you in your life.
It is such a mood elevator foreverybody. All right, If you
enjoyed this episode, I would beso grateful if you would leave a review
over on Apple Podcasts. I can'tshare with you enough how much this helps
the show and helps other people whomight enjoy it find it and discover it
(24:00):
and be able to follow and besure to connect me on Facebook and Instagram.
I have fabulous communities. They're beautifulpeople. And I invite you again
to my website, Christylinkspencer dot com, where you can get access to my
free video masterclass Eleven Habits of thehappiest people, and you can find links
there to the Joy School. Thedoors are now open for a limited time,
(24:22):
so jump over there and invest inyourself. I would love to see
you there. I believe in thisprogram so much. Every game changing shift
and habit and framework I have learnedto change my life and everything I put
into operation happiness and more will bein this program. So much of it
is science backed, and there's somany little nuggets in there that when you
(24:47):
learn them, are just these hugeaha shifts. So I can't wait to
see you all there, sending youso much love, and until next time,
remember you've got what it takes tocreate more amazing days, and more
amazing days make up a pretty amazinglife. Have a fantastic week, my
beautiful friends, Happy holidays, andI will see you soon. Cheers,
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