August 5, 2024 • 23 mins
In this episode, Kristi offers tips and insights for avoiding and shifting toxic conversations that don't feel good. In the current climate, the skill of avoiding toxic talk and guiding conversations to what's productive and purposeful can be a challenge. Also discussed is shifting negative self-talk. Plus, Kristi shares a small habit that can have big payoff.
Dental Herb Company Tooth & Gums Tonic
Dental Herb Company Tooth & Gums Tonic
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Joyschool podcast. Real talk about what it
takes to create your happiest, healthiest and most dynamic life.
And now here's your host, transformational life coach, happiness strategist
and best selling author, Kristy ling Spencer.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well, hello, my friend, and welcome to another episode of
the show.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Thank you so much for hanging out with me. I
truly appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I was just looking every now and then I get
a report that just tells me the places around the
world that people are listening from, and the most recent
one I looked at, I was so blown away because
it's like we have listeners from Greece, the Caribbean, Mexico, Australia,
the UK, and of course all over the US Canada.
(00:50):
It's just amazing to me and I want to say
hello to everybody listening and thank you so much. I
truly appreciate it, and I'm so touched that we have
this global community together with this podcast and of course
with all my other offerings on my website and my
classes and courses. It really brings me so much joy,
(01:12):
So thank you all so much for being a part
of that.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
And it is.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Quite a rainy day here where I am in Houston.
It is thundering and pouring outside, So if you hear
some thunder in the background, that's what that is. We've
been having quite a lot of crazy weather this year.
We recently had Hurricane Barrel, which you may have seen
on the news, and that did affect my area quite
a bit. In fact, we were hit very hard. We
(01:38):
live on the water on the Bay right outside of Houston,
and we had almost a week without power. And it
was not only a week without power, it was like
crazy heat and humidity, like ninety three percent humidity in
one hundred and five heat index.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
It was a rough week, to say the least.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
But I will say one of the best things about
situations like that is watching people come together. It was
pretty cool to see neighbors helping neighbors, Neighbors with generators
letting other neighbors plug their refrigerators in so that they
wouldn't lose all their food. And we literally went and
camped out at a neighbor's house who had their ac
(02:17):
running just enough to keep things so that it wasn't miserable,
and we, along with some other neighbors, went and slept
at a neighbor's house for a few nights because our
house was just way way too hot and humid to
even sleep in. It would have been unbearable. So we
were so grateful for that. But I'll tell you what,
after a few days, I was done with the glamping
(02:38):
and I was ready for the power to come back on,
which it did. And you know, nothing like that kind
of a situation to remind you to be just so
grateful for all of the little things that we don't
really think about every day, right, So true, So today
we're going to talk about opting out of toxic talk.
And I really thought this was an important topic to
(03:01):
discuss on the show with the recent news about President
Biden deciding not to seek reelection and all that's going
to go with that over the next few months, as
well as everything that's happening around the world, and just
also this seems to be a challenging year for so
many people, whether it's unexpected things happening in our lives,
(03:24):
dealing with big changes, whatever it may be. It just
seems to be such a when it rains, it pours type.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Of year for many people.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And so with that sometimes comes a lot of different
types of toxic talk as well. As toxic and negative
energies around, right, especially on social media, but definitely within
families and sometimes even within our friend groups, right, especially
when things are this volatile.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
So I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Just share some things with you all and give you
some tools to help you in these situations to stay
a little more even a little more grounded, to recenter
a bit when you feel triggered or when you feel
like you're going to get sucked into a negative conversation
that you know is not going to go anywhere good. Right,
although sometimes you know, we all have our opinions about things,
(04:16):
and we all have things that we're passionate about, and
sometimes it's very tempting to engage in those conversations. But
learning to just pause when we're tempted to comment, whether
it's in person or comment on social media, learning to
just pause and ask ourselves is this going to lead
to anything good? You know, is this going to result
(04:37):
in a positive change or a positive conversation, or is
this likely to bring more toxic negativity?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Usually the answer is pretty clear, And then it's really
easy not to just jump in without thinking. It's much
easier to just take a step back. Then, when we're
able to just catch ourselves and pause and then move
on with our lives.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Like I posted something recently on threads, it seemed to
really hit and so I'm going to read you this
quote because it really comes into play here, and that
is it's perfectly okay and even good for your health
to say out loud or to yourself, I'm not participating
in this conversation. Choosing peace and lightness is powerful self care.
(05:21):
And wow, yeah, people really reacted to that one because
it's so true and it is within our right and
our areas of boundaries. Right. Creating boundaries is part of
what this is about. To just think to ourselves or
even say out loud if people are aggressively trying to
engage us in some of this stuff, to just say,
I'm not participating in this conversation, but thank you, and
(05:44):
you don't have to engage.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
And learning to just.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Pause and think to yourself, is this really something I
want to engage in? Is such a healthy habit. And
by the way, this includes talk with yourself. If you
catch yourself in the midst of a storm of negative
self talk or unnecessary complaining or pointless negative thoughts that
you know.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Are not serving you.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And that's not to say, you know, don't ever have
negative thoughts. Of course, it's natural to have some thoughts
that are negative and you know, I'm not immune to this,
but learning to catch ourselves and then actually examining to
say is this productive? Is there a real reason for this?
And if there is, what's my next action step to
(06:27):
create change around what this thing is that I'm feeling
negative about or complaining about right or to be able
to just say, ah, yeah, there is absolutely no point
to this negative self talk right now, or these negative
thoughts and switching gears and just saying hey, I'm not
participating in this and going hey, brain, it's time to
choose new thoughts. Right we can kind of laugh at
ourselves a little bit and realize that sometimes there's a
(06:50):
little bit of silliness there, and you know that being said,
I also want to validate you and myself, because, like
I said, we're human beings. We're going to be prone
sometimes to have a negative thought or angry thoughts or whatever,
and some of those are valid.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
So it really is just about.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Taking a step back, noticing them consciously, and then examining
is this going to serve me? Is this negative Do
I want to participate in this? And if your inner
voice tells you, yeah, this is a valid thing that
you're frustrated with right now, then question and say, okay, well,
what's my action step to find some resolution here?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Right?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Because if we just allow the negative thoughts and negative
self talk or whatever it is to keep going and
we don't take an action step to resolve whatever the
thing is that's bringing those to the surface, they're just
going to keep lingering, right, And so this serves us
in a number of ways. We can either realize that
we're being a little silly and we can choose new thoughts,
(07:47):
or we can say, you know what, this is actually
valid and I want to bring this concern to my
forefront and really tackle it.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
So, as I mentioned before, with the toxic energy that
go around on social media and the current climate of
just everything happening in the world, and of course the
things happening in all of our lives, there's so much
going on, it really really serves us to look at
these things strongly. And you know, one thing to think
about too is, of course we should be expressing ourselves.
(08:18):
And I personally love to have spirited debates with friends
who don't necessarily see things the same way I do.
But those friends who are respectful and who I actually
enjoy having these conversations with, I respect that their views
might be different, and they know how to have a
conversation respectfully and with love with somebody who doesn't see
(08:39):
things the same way, and sometimes we might get a
little change in perspective out of that. Those are the friends,
and we all know who they are who I love
to engage with on these things, and I think it's
very healthy. But at the same time, we all have
people in our lives that get really aggressive about their
opinions and if you don't see things the same way
they do, well, then you're just wrong. And you know
(09:01):
they get that way. And this is both in person
and non social and these are the areas where it
might be great to create a little distance or to
use that line, I'm not participating in this conversation, right,
and really avoid getting sucked in with those people who
are like brick walls, who are going to make you
wrong no matter what, and who are committed to misunderstanding you.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And so think about that and maybe even put some
thought into who the people are in your lives that
you can go to and feel safe with to have
some of these conversations about what's happening in the world
or what might be going on in your life, or
sensitive subjects, and you know, identify those people in your
life that you kind of want to just stick to
the small talk or the subjects that you know you
(09:45):
have in common. Right, being aware of those things can
be super helpful. And so I would say that is
really number one is just to say I opt out
of this, I am not going to participate in this conversation.
And there are a couple of other things you can
do to keep things positive, stay on track, or just
generally avoid getting sucked into negative things that don't make
(10:06):
you feel good.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You know, we've all.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Had those exchanges on social media where either someone we
know or a friend of a friend, or just some
random stranger criticizes or attacks or tries to make you wrong,
and it's just a whole load of ick, right, and
we don't feel good about it, and it just sucks
to be honest. And so you know, avoiding that more
by being more highly aware of not getting sucked into
(10:30):
it and just continue scrolling.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
So I would say that is a skill. When you
see things on social.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Media or online blogs or whatever that you're tempted to
comment on, just keep scrolling and move on with your life,
and then smile at the fact that you kept on
scrolling and moved on with your life. Right, Because choosing
peace over negativity, choosing peace over politics, choosing peace over
having to have some random strangers or people you don't
(10:59):
know very well know what your opinion is or thoughts
are on a current event or whatever, is so powerful
choosing peace right. And of course, there are some times
when it is important to speak up, and there are
some times and some subjects that are very important that
you might feel very passionate about. And it's really just
about being very intentional and mindful about where you express
(11:20):
those thoughts and feelings and opinions rather than just kind
of throwing them all against the wall like spaghetti, right,
and then getting sucked into a whole bunch of ick.
So I would say, you know, number one tip, you
can absolutely say I'm not participating in this conversation. Number
two tip, keep scrolling. And I would say the final
(11:41):
tip is really just walk away. And you know, as
I mentioned earlier, there are some people who no matter
how gracefully you say something, or kindly or lovingly or
how nicely you express yourself, they're going to keep trying
to suck you in and make you wrong, and they're
going to be aggressive.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
I have people like this in my life, and you
know what, sometimes it doesn't work to.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Change the subject. Sometimes it does.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Sometimes you can just try to change a subject, but
if that doesn't work, you just sometimes need to excuse
yourself and walk away. And there is power in that too.
Sometimes walking away is the same as choosing peace. So
keep scrolling, stay out loud, I'm not participating in this,
or just simply walk away if changing the subject doesn't work.
(12:26):
These are all very powerful ways to stay in your
peace and to stay grounded and on track with what
your values are.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Right, we all have our values.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
And the other thing I'll say is that because this
is such a volatile year around the world, with so
many things happening, is try not to be that person
who is aggressive with their opinions and makes other people wrong.
And you know, we all can be guilty of a
little bit of this now and then, because we might
feel so passionate about a topic and learning to catch
(12:58):
ourselves and kind of ship that energy and being.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
A little more open or at.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Least just respectful or just say, hey, this isn't a
conversation that's going to make me feel good, so I'd
rather talk about something else. You know, just being open
and direct and respectful of others is also a really
healthy habit.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
If you know yourself and you.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Have a hot button side and you tend to get
fired up, try to be a little more mindful about that,
because not only will you bring more peace and positivity
to the people around you in your life who you
care about, you'll bring it to yourself as well. So
really being not only mindful of the behaviors and the
habits of others when it comes to these things, being
mindful of ourselves and checking ourselves right, Like that old
(13:43):
cliche check yourself before you wreck yourself, but it's kind
of true, especially with all that's going on. So this
is all just food for thought. And I also really
think that we all need to step up our self
love this year, our self care, choosing peace grounding. This
past year, I personally, and I've mentioned this on the
show before, have been getting more and more into forest bathing,
(14:07):
which is it's a Japanese art. That's where it originated,
of not just walking through the forest and thinking, oh,
aren't the trees pretty? Isn't this relaxing, but actually doing
it with intention for the purpose of healing and bringing
peace to the heart and soul and body and calming
the nervous system. And there's actually little meditations you can do.
(14:27):
There's things that you can do walking through the woods
of the forest or even the park to take your
mind off of everything and just connect with nature very intentionally,
and studies have shown how powerful this is for our
mental health and for your nervous system and for calming anxiety.
So this is one thing, just connecting with nature. If
(14:47):
you don't have a forest near you go to a
park with.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
A lot of trees.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
You can even there are YouTube channels that just have
ambient hiking. If you just search ambient hiking videos on YouTube,
there are some beautiful cree that have just gone walking
through the woods and you can watch these videos or
put them on in the background and it gives you
some similar benefits. Just recognizing the trees and hearing the sounds. Right,
(15:11):
such a beautiful thing. I actually envision videos like this
being played on hospital televisions and in senior facilities and
things like that. I think it would be so healing.
And I personally myself am going to dive even deeper
into the science of this and maybe even create some
more offerings around it, because I believe it is that powerful.
(15:32):
Just our connection with nature and trees and all things
nature and what it can do for our mental and
physical health and our longevity. I really believe it's all connected.
So that's one of the things you can do. Another
thing you can do in the area of stepping up
your self care and choosing peace more often this year
is amp up your morning habits to support you throughout
(15:55):
the day. And I've talked about this on the show before,
and I do talk about this in my classes, and
there's a whole section on it in my book Operation
Happiness and in the audiobook that covers detail in detail
how to make over your mornings to support your whole
day and your life. And I say this over and
over again because it's true. The way we live our
(16:15):
mornings is the way we will live our day, and
the way we live our days is the way we
will experience our life, and mornings is where it all begins.
So put some thought, extra thought into these areas. And
I know that tuning into the show means you're already
thinking about these things. But I think this is a
time in history and in our lives right now when
it's time for a little glow up and a little
(16:37):
upgrade around all these areas, right all right, So that
brings us to this section of the show called Joyschool Habits,
And this is where I share small habits that can
have big impact.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
And I'm a big fan of those.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And when we can stack a whole bunch of small
positive habits that all have big positive impacts on our
life and on our health and on our happiness, life
becomes it just glows. It becomes like next level when
we start stacking these habits. So today's Joy School habit
is to glow up your oral health to protect your brain.
(17:13):
So this is a relatively new area of science, but
in the last few years there are a number of
studies that show that, First of all, we've all heard
about how gut health is so important, which is also
a relatively newer science, so important to our mental health
and to our overall physical health and longevity, and to
(17:33):
our brain health. Right it's all interconnected. Well, they have
just recently, through a number of studies and that these
are ongoing as well, discovered that our mouth, we also
have a microbiome there, just like we have a microbiome
in our gut that is connected to all of the
systems in our body. And so the microbiome in your
(17:54):
mouth needs to stay healthy, just like the microbiome and
your gut needs to stay healthy. And bad bacteria in
your mouth. There are a number of studies showing that
bad bacteria in our mouth are potentially linked to a
number of diseases as well as cognitive decline potentially, and
there are ongoing studies now showing that good oral health
(18:17):
is potentially linked to reduce risks of cognitive decline and
of a number of chronic diseases.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
That it is possible that.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Our oral health may be directly linked to right. This
is kind of amazing, And what I love about this
is that they're really diving in quickly because the evidence
is so strong about the microbiome in our gut and
our gut health that it makes complete sense that our
oral health could be connected to all this too. So
we're going to have more and more information on this
(18:47):
fairly quickly within the next you know, two or three years.
But I am telling you no pun intended here, But
my gut is telling me that protecting our oral health
on a higher level is one of the keys to
longevity and helping to prevent disease. There's also ongoing studies
underway right now looking at potential links between oral health
(19:09):
and our psychological well being and even our happiness and
anxiety levels. So I think we're going to be getting
a wealth of new information on this over the next
few years. And you know what just upping our oral
health right now is. First of all, it's a great
habit anyway, it'll protect your teeth in the long run.
But I think it's going to have huge benefits, and
this is something we don't even really think about. So
(19:31):
a couple of the little habits that I do that
I've started implementing. First of all, clean your toothbrush. Now,
not many of us were taught when we were kids,
when we were taught to brush our teeth. We're actually
taught to clean our toothbrush and disinfect it. So if
you're not doing this because you were never taught, you
can start now. I just use rubbing alcohol, and I
(19:51):
clean my toothbrush every day and then I rinse it
with water, clean water to get the rubbing alcohol off
that I clean my toothbrush get rid of any negative
bacteria that might be there. I also have started brushing
three times a day when I can, and I work
from home, that makes that a little easier. I know,
if you're in an office or working a job where
you're on your feet, it might be a little more difficult,
(20:13):
but you could consider taking a toothbrush with you because
you know what, not only will it help reduce the
bad bacteria and help support the good bacteria in your
microbiome in your mouth, but also your mouth will just
feel fresher.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
I noticed, you know, when I started paying more attention
to this.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
If I brush my teeth like after lunch, my mouth
just feels better for the afternoon, and not to mention,
it'll stave off any bad breath, right, So I've started
brushing my teeth three times a day when I can
clean toothbrush every day.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And here's the other tip.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Use a great mouthwash that will kill germs and bacteria
in your mouth that are bad. And you want to
do a little homework on this because you don't want
something so harsh that it's actually killing the good stuff too.
And also you don't want something so harsh that it's
not necessarily great for your teeth. And also you want
to try and avoid artificial flavors, artificial colors of which
(21:06):
there are so many. So it does take a little
bit of homework. I recently had a friend recommend to
me and I'm looking into this. I'm probably going to
order it and give it a try. One called Tooth
and Gums Tonic by Dental herb Company, and I haven't
tried it yet, but apparently it checks all those boxes.
So I am going to be ordering some this week
and possibly I'll report back to you here on the
(21:27):
show about that. But if you want to just you
have a place to start from. You can look that
one up. I believe they do carry it on Amazon.
In fact, if I end up loving it, I will
put it into my Amazon store, so you can keep
an eye out for that, and I will link my
Amazon store in the show notes. So that is it
for today's Joyschool habit. And it's such an easy one
that could eventually have amazing payoff. I have a feeling
(21:50):
more and more research is going to show how important
this is and how directly our oral health is linked
to our brain health, possibly to helping to prevent demntion,
helping to reduce risks in that area, possibly helping to
reduce risks in all kinds of other areas of chronic disease.
And that is really something to get excited about, because
when it's so simple to help reduce our risks, then
(22:12):
all of those little habits that reduce those risks add
up to big payoff.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
All right, my friends, if.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
You enjoyed this episode of the show, I would be
so grateful if you would take just a minute or
two to jump over and write a review over on
Apple or on any of the podcast platforms where you
listen your favorite platforms. The reviews make a tremendous difference
and they help other people who might also be interested
(22:38):
in the show to find the show. And I do
read them all and sometimes I even give shout outs
to people who leave reviews on the show here, so
that is a way that you can help the show.
And again, I'm so grateful that you've been here with
me today. Thank you so much for joining and remember
you have the power to create more amazing days and
more amazing days add up to a pretty amazing life.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Go out and have a beautiful week. My friends, and
I will be back with you soon
Welcome to the Joyschool podcast. Real talk about what it
takes to create your happiest, healthiest and most dynamic life.
And now here's your host, transformational life coach, happiness strategist
and best selling author, Kristy ling Spencer.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Well, hello, my friend, and welcome to another episode of
the show.
Speaker 3 (00:25):
Thank you so much for hanging out with me. I
truly appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I was just looking every now and then I get
a report that just tells me the places around the
world that people are listening from, and the most recent
one I looked at, I was so blown away because
it's like we have listeners from Greece, the Caribbean, Mexico, Australia,
the UK, and of course all over the US Canada.
(00:50):
It's just amazing to me and I want to say
hello to everybody listening and thank you so much. I
truly appreciate it, and I'm so touched that we have
this global community together with this podcast and of course
with all my other offerings on my website and my
classes and courses. It really brings me so much joy,
(01:12):
So thank you all so much for being a part
of that.
Speaker 3 (01:15):
And it is.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
Quite a rainy day here where I am in Houston.
It is thundering and pouring outside, So if you hear
some thunder in the background, that's what that is. We've
been having quite a lot of crazy weather this year.
We recently had Hurricane Barrel, which you may have seen
on the news, and that did affect my area quite
a bit. In fact, we were hit very hard. We
(01:38):
live on the water on the Bay right outside of Houston,
and we had almost a week without power. And it
was not only a week without power, it was like
crazy heat and humidity, like ninety three percent humidity in
one hundred and five heat index.
Speaker 3 (01:54):
It was a rough week, to say the least.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
But I will say one of the best things about
situations like that is watching people come together. It was
pretty cool to see neighbors helping neighbors, Neighbors with generators
letting other neighbors plug their refrigerators in so that they
wouldn't lose all their food. And we literally went and
camped out at a neighbor's house who had their ac
(02:17):
running just enough to keep things so that it wasn't miserable,
and we, along with some other neighbors, went and slept
at a neighbor's house for a few nights because our
house was just way way too hot and humid to
even sleep in. It would have been unbearable. So we
were so grateful for that. But I'll tell you what,
after a few days, I was done with the glamping
(02:38):
and I was ready for the power to come back on,
which it did. And you know, nothing like that kind
of a situation to remind you to be just so
grateful for all of the little things that we don't
really think about every day, right, So true, So today
we're going to talk about opting out of toxic talk.
And I really thought this was an important topic to
(03:01):
discuss on the show with the recent news about President
Biden deciding not to seek reelection and all that's going
to go with that over the next few months, as
well as everything that's happening around the world, and just
also this seems to be a challenging year for so
many people, whether it's unexpected things happening in our lives,
(03:24):
dealing with big changes, whatever it may be. It just
seems to be such a when it rains, it pours type.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
Of year for many people.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
And so with that sometimes comes a lot of different
types of toxic talk as well. As toxic and negative
energies around, right, especially on social media, but definitely within
families and sometimes even within our friend groups, right, especially
when things are this volatile.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
So I wanted to.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Just share some things with you all and give you
some tools to help you in these situations to stay
a little more even a little more grounded, to recenter
a bit when you feel triggered or when you feel
like you're going to get sucked into a negative conversation
that you know is not going to go anywhere good. Right,
although sometimes you know, we all have our opinions about things,
(04:16):
and we all have things that we're passionate about, and
sometimes it's very tempting to engage in those conversations. But
learning to just pause when we're tempted to comment, whether
it's in person or comment on social media, learning to
just pause and ask ourselves is this going to lead
to anything good? You know, is this going to result
(04:37):
in a positive change or a positive conversation, or is
this likely to bring more toxic negativity?
Speaker 3 (04:43):
Right?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Usually the answer is pretty clear, And then it's really
easy not to just jump in without thinking. It's much
easier to just take a step back. Then, when we're
able to just catch ourselves and pause and then move
on with our lives.
Speaker 3 (04:56):
Right.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Like I posted something recently on threads, it seemed to
really hit and so I'm going to read you this
quote because it really comes into play here, and that
is it's perfectly okay and even good for your health
to say out loud or to yourself, I'm not participating
in this conversation. Choosing peace and lightness is powerful self care.
(05:21):
And wow, yeah, people really reacted to that one because
it's so true and it is within our right and
our areas of boundaries. Right. Creating boundaries is part of
what this is about. To just think to ourselves or
even say out loud if people are aggressively trying to
engage us in some of this stuff, to just say,
I'm not participating in this conversation, but thank you, and
(05:44):
you don't have to engage.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
And learning to just.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Pause and think to yourself, is this really something I
want to engage in? Is such a healthy habit. And
by the way, this includes talk with yourself. If you
catch yourself in the midst of a storm of negative
self talk or unnecessary complaining or pointless negative thoughts that
you know.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Are not serving you.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And that's not to say, you know, don't ever have
negative thoughts. Of course, it's natural to have some thoughts
that are negative and you know, I'm not immune to this,
but learning to catch ourselves and then actually examining to
say is this productive? Is there a real reason for this?
And if there is, what's my next action step to
(06:27):
create change around what this thing is that I'm feeling
negative about or complaining about right or to be able
to just say, ah, yeah, there is absolutely no point
to this negative self talk right now, or these negative
thoughts and switching gears and just saying hey, I'm not
participating in this and going hey, brain, it's time to
choose new thoughts. Right we can kind of laugh at
ourselves a little bit and realize that sometimes there's a
(06:50):
little bit of silliness there, and you know that being said,
I also want to validate you and myself, because, like
I said, we're human beings. We're going to be prone
sometimes to have a negative thought or angry thoughts or whatever,
and some of those are valid.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
So it really is just about.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Taking a step back, noticing them consciously, and then examining
is this going to serve me? Is this negative Do
I want to participate in this? And if your inner
voice tells you, yeah, this is a valid thing that
you're frustrated with right now, then question and say, okay, well,
what's my action step to find some resolution here?
Speaker 3 (07:27):
Right?
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Because if we just allow the negative thoughts and negative
self talk or whatever it is to keep going and
we don't take an action step to resolve whatever the
thing is that's bringing those to the surface, they're just
going to keep lingering, right, And so this serves us
in a number of ways. We can either realize that
we're being a little silly and we can choose new thoughts,
(07:47):
or we can say, you know what, this is actually
valid and I want to bring this concern to my
forefront and really tackle it.
Speaker 3 (07:54):
Right.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
So, as I mentioned before, with the toxic energy that
go around on social media and the current climate of
just everything happening in the world, and of course the
things happening in all of our lives, there's so much
going on, it really really serves us to look at
these things strongly. And you know, one thing to think
about too is, of course we should be expressing ourselves.
(08:18):
And I personally love to have spirited debates with friends
who don't necessarily see things the same way I do.
But those friends who are respectful and who I actually
enjoy having these conversations with, I respect that their views
might be different, and they know how to have a
conversation respectfully and with love with somebody who doesn't see
(08:39):
things the same way, and sometimes we might get a
little change in perspective out of that. Those are the friends,
and we all know who they are who I love
to engage with on these things, and I think it's
very healthy. But at the same time, we all have
people in our lives that get really aggressive about their
opinions and if you don't see things the same way
they do, well, then you're just wrong. And you know
(09:01):
they get that way. And this is both in person
and non social and these are the areas where it
might be great to create a little distance or to
use that line, I'm not participating in this conversation, right,
and really avoid getting sucked in with those people who
are like brick walls, who are going to make you
wrong no matter what, and who are committed to misunderstanding you.
Speaker 3 (09:24):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
And so think about that and maybe even put some
thought into who the people are in your lives that
you can go to and feel safe with to have
some of these conversations about what's happening in the world
or what might be going on in your life, or
sensitive subjects, and you know, identify those people in your
life that you kind of want to just stick to
the small talk or the subjects that you know you
(09:45):
have in common. Right, being aware of those things can
be super helpful. And so I would say that is
really number one is just to say I opt out
of this, I am not going to participate in this conversation.
And there are a couple of other things you can
do to keep things positive, stay on track, or just
generally avoid getting sucked into negative things that don't make
(10:06):
you feel good.
Speaker 3 (10:07):
You know, we've all.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Had those exchanges on social media where either someone we
know or a friend of a friend, or just some
random stranger criticizes or attacks or tries to make you wrong,
and it's just a whole load of ick, right, and
we don't feel good about it, and it just sucks
to be honest. And so you know, avoiding that more
by being more highly aware of not getting sucked into
(10:30):
it and just continue scrolling.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
So I would say that is a skill. When you
see things on social.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Media or online blogs or whatever that you're tempted to
comment on, just keep scrolling and move on with your life,
and then smile at the fact that you kept on
scrolling and moved on with your life. Right, Because choosing
peace over negativity, choosing peace over politics, choosing peace over
having to have some random strangers or people you don't
(10:59):
know very well know what your opinion is or thoughts
are on a current event or whatever, is so powerful
choosing peace right. And of course, there are some times
when it is important to speak up, and there are
some times and some subjects that are very important that
you might feel very passionate about. And it's really just
about being very intentional and mindful about where you express
(11:20):
those thoughts and feelings and opinions rather than just kind
of throwing them all against the wall like spaghetti, right,
and then getting sucked into a whole bunch of ick.
So I would say, you know, number one tip, you
can absolutely say I'm not participating in this conversation. Number
two tip, keep scrolling. And I would say the final
(11:41):
tip is really just walk away. And you know, as
I mentioned earlier, there are some people who no matter
how gracefully you say something, or kindly or lovingly or
how nicely you express yourself, they're going to keep trying
to suck you in and make you wrong, and they're
going to be aggressive.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
I have people like this in my life, and you
know what, sometimes it doesn't work to.
Speaker 3 (12:03):
Change the subject. Sometimes it does.
Speaker 2 (12:05):
Sometimes you can just try to change a subject, but
if that doesn't work, you just sometimes need to excuse
yourself and walk away. And there is power in that too.
Sometimes walking away is the same as choosing peace. So
keep scrolling, stay out loud, I'm not participating in this,
or just simply walk away if changing the subject doesn't work.
(12:26):
These are all very powerful ways to stay in your
peace and to stay grounded and on track with what
your values are.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Right, we all have our values.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
And the other thing I'll say is that because this
is such a volatile year around the world, with so
many things happening, is try not to be that person
who is aggressive with their opinions and makes other people wrong.
And you know, we all can be guilty of a
little bit of this now and then, because we might
feel so passionate about a topic and learning to catch
(12:58):
ourselves and kind of ship that energy and being.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
A little more open or at.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
Least just respectful or just say, hey, this isn't a
conversation that's going to make me feel good, so I'd
rather talk about something else. You know, just being open
and direct and respectful of others is also a really
healthy habit.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
If you know yourself and you.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Have a hot button side and you tend to get
fired up, try to be a little more mindful about that,
because not only will you bring more peace and positivity
to the people around you in your life who you
care about, you'll bring it to yourself as well. So
really being not only mindful of the behaviors and the
habits of others when it comes to these things, being
mindful of ourselves and checking ourselves right, Like that old
(13:43):
cliche check yourself before you wreck yourself, but it's kind
of true, especially with all that's going on. So this
is all just food for thought. And I also really
think that we all need to step up our self
love this year, our self care, choosing peace grounding. This
past year, I personally, and I've mentioned this on the
show before, have been getting more and more into forest bathing,
(14:07):
which is it's a Japanese art. That's where it originated,
of not just walking through the forest and thinking, oh,
aren't the trees pretty? Isn't this relaxing, but actually doing
it with intention for the purpose of healing and bringing
peace to the heart and soul and body and calming
the nervous system. And there's actually little meditations you can do.
(14:27):
There's things that you can do walking through the woods
of the forest or even the park to take your
mind off of everything and just connect with nature very intentionally,
and studies have shown how powerful this is for our
mental health and for your nervous system and for calming anxiety.
So this is one thing, just connecting with nature. If
(14:47):
you don't have a forest near you go to a
park with.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
A lot of trees.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
You can even there are YouTube channels that just have
ambient hiking. If you just search ambient hiking videos on YouTube,
there are some beautiful cree that have just gone walking
through the woods and you can watch these videos or
put them on in the background and it gives you
some similar benefits. Just recognizing the trees and hearing the sounds. Right,
(15:11):
such a beautiful thing. I actually envision videos like this
being played on hospital televisions and in senior facilities and
things like that. I think it would be so healing.
And I personally myself am going to dive even deeper
into the science of this and maybe even create some
more offerings around it, because I believe it is that powerful.
(15:32):
Just our connection with nature and trees and all things
nature and what it can do for our mental and
physical health and our longevity. I really believe it's all connected.
So that's one of the things you can do. Another
thing you can do in the area of stepping up
your self care and choosing peace more often this year
is amp up your morning habits to support you throughout
(15:55):
the day. And I've talked about this on the show before,
and I do talk about this in my classes, and
there's a whole section on it in my book Operation
Happiness and in the audiobook that covers detail in detail
how to make over your mornings to support your whole
day and your life. And I say this over and
over again because it's true. The way we live our
(16:15):
mornings is the way we will live our day, and
the way we live our days is the way we
will experience our life, and mornings is where it all begins.
So put some thought, extra thought into these areas. And
I know that tuning into the show means you're already
thinking about these things. But I think this is a
time in history and in our lives right now when
it's time for a little glow up and a little
(16:37):
upgrade around all these areas, right all right, So that
brings us to this section of the show called Joyschool Habits,
And this is where I share small habits that can
have big impact.
Speaker 3 (16:48):
And I'm a big fan of those.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
And when we can stack a whole bunch of small
positive habits that all have big positive impacts on our
life and on our health and on our happiness, life
becomes it just glows. It becomes like next level when
we start stacking these habits. So today's Joy School habit
is to glow up your oral health to protect your brain.
(17:13):
So this is a relatively new area of science, but
in the last few years there are a number of
studies that show that, First of all, we've all heard
about how gut health is so important, which is also
a relatively newer science, so important to our mental health
and to our overall physical health and longevity, and to
(17:33):
our brain health. Right it's all interconnected. Well, they have
just recently, through a number of studies and that these
are ongoing as well, discovered that our mouth, we also
have a microbiome there, just like we have a microbiome
in our gut that is connected to all of the
systems in our body. And so the microbiome in your
(17:54):
mouth needs to stay healthy, just like the microbiome and
your gut needs to stay healthy. And bad bacteria in
your mouth. There are a number of studies showing that
bad bacteria in our mouth are potentially linked to a
number of diseases as well as cognitive decline potentially, and
there are ongoing studies now showing that good oral health
(18:17):
is potentially linked to reduce risks of cognitive decline and
of a number of chronic diseases.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
That it is possible that.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Our oral health may be directly linked to right. This
is kind of amazing, And what I love about this
is that they're really diving in quickly because the evidence
is so strong about the microbiome in our gut and
our gut health that it makes complete sense that our
oral health could be connected to all this too. So
we're going to have more and more information on this
(18:47):
fairly quickly within the next you know, two or three years.
But I am telling you no pun intended here, But
my gut is telling me that protecting our oral health
on a higher level is one of the keys to
longevity and helping to prevent disease. There's also ongoing studies
underway right now looking at potential links between oral health
(19:09):
and our psychological well being and even our happiness and
anxiety levels. So I think we're going to be getting
a wealth of new information on this over the next
few years. And you know what just upping our oral
health right now is. First of all, it's a great
habit anyway, it'll protect your teeth in the long run.
But I think it's going to have huge benefits, and
this is something we don't even really think about. So
(19:31):
a couple of the little habits that I do that
I've started implementing. First of all, clean your toothbrush. Now,
not many of us were taught when we were kids,
when we were taught to brush our teeth. We're actually
taught to clean our toothbrush and disinfect it. So if
you're not doing this because you were never taught, you
can start now. I just use rubbing alcohol, and I
(19:51):
clean my toothbrush every day and then I rinse it
with water, clean water to get the rubbing alcohol off
that I clean my toothbrush get rid of any negative
bacteria that might be there. I also have started brushing
three times a day when I can, and I work
from home, that makes that a little easier. I know,
if you're in an office or working a job where
you're on your feet, it might be a little more difficult,
(20:13):
but you could consider taking a toothbrush with you because
you know what, not only will it help reduce the
bad bacteria and help support the good bacteria in your
microbiome in your mouth, but also your mouth will just
feel fresher.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
I noticed, you know, when I started paying more attention
to this.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
If I brush my teeth like after lunch, my mouth
just feels better for the afternoon, and not to mention,
it'll stave off any bad breath, right, So I've started
brushing my teeth three times a day when I can
clean toothbrush every day.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And here's the other tip.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Use a great mouthwash that will kill germs and bacteria
in your mouth that are bad. And you want to
do a little homework on this because you don't want
something so harsh that it's actually killing the good stuff too.
And also you don't want something so harsh that it's
not necessarily great for your teeth. And also you want
to try and avoid artificial flavors, artificial colors of which
(21:06):
there are so many. So it does take a little
bit of homework. I recently had a friend recommend to
me and I'm looking into this. I'm probably going to
order it and give it a try. One called Tooth
and Gums Tonic by Dental herb Company, and I haven't
tried it yet, but apparently it checks all those boxes.
So I am going to be ordering some this week
and possibly I'll report back to you here on the
(21:27):
show about that. But if you want to just you
have a place to start from. You can look that
one up. I believe they do carry it on Amazon.
In fact, if I end up loving it, I will
put it into my Amazon store, so you can keep
an eye out for that, and I will link my
Amazon store in the show notes. So that is it
for today's Joyschool habit. And it's such an easy one
that could eventually have amazing payoff. I have a feeling
(21:50):
more and more research is going to show how important
this is and how directly our oral health is linked
to our brain health, possibly to helping to prevent demntion,
helping to reduce risks in that area, possibly helping to
reduce risks in all kinds of other areas of chronic disease.
And that is really something to get excited about, because
when it's so simple to help reduce our risks, then
(22:12):
all of those little habits that reduce those risks add
up to big payoff.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
All right, my friends, if.
Speaker 2 (22:18):
You enjoyed this episode of the show, I would be
so grateful if you would take just a minute or
two to jump over and write a review over on
Apple or on any of the podcast platforms where you
listen your favorite platforms. The reviews make a tremendous difference
and they help other people who might also be interested
(22:38):
in the show to find the show. And I do
read them all and sometimes I even give shout outs
to people who leave reviews on the show here, so
that is a way that you can help the show.
And again, I'm so grateful that you've been here with
me today. Thank you so much for joining and remember
you have the power to create more amazing days and
more amazing days add up to a pretty amazing life.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
Go out and have a beautiful week. My friends, and
I will be back with you soon
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang
Ding dong! Join your culture consultants, Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang, on an unforgettable journey into the beating heart of CULTURE. Alongside sizzling special guests, they GET INTO the hottest pop-culture moments of the day and the formative cultural experiences that turned them into Culturistas. Produced by the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.