February 14, 2024 • 25 mins
Helena fondly remembers Dot's daughter and her friend. The girls return from vacation. Ellen continues to struggle with geography. Josh reaches out to an old friend.
Starring:
• Sara Stapleton as Herself/Karen
• Chris Green as Email Man
• Adrienne Hardison as Helena
• Jeff Powell as Mark
• Sara Beth Kitcher as Ellen
• Matt Peelen as Rob
• Josh Hallmark as Himself
Music by:
• Podington Bear
• Herman & Ian
• YEYEY
• Part Time
Starring:
• Sara Stapleton as Herself/Karen
• Chris Green as Email Man
• Adrienne Hardison as Helena
• Jeff Powell as Mark
• Sara Beth Kitcher as Ellen
• Matt Peelen as Rob
• Josh Hallmark as Himself
Music by:
• Podington Bear
• Herman & Ian
• YEYEY
• Part Time
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:10):
January fourth, twenty twelve. DearJosh, A friend of mine helped me
look up this blog thing of yours, and I don't like it one bit.
When I emailed you before, Ididn't know that some of the things
on this blog were some of thethings you said were on this block.
It's not fair, and you knowit. I want you to erase the
things I said in there, Josh, Olmark, I didn't say. In
(00:32):
nineteen ninety four, I received abound copy of the Caroenel letters. You've
mentioned repeatedly that your letters are handwritten. The copy I have is typed.
That's just one of the many discrepanciesbetween the letters that appeared on your blog
last year and the letters I've hadfor close to twenty years. I have
some ideas there's a chance that yourwhole blog baked ham recipe erased, erase
(01:00):
baked him delete, erase dot.I'm sorry I put that on your Facebook
page. I am still new onthe Facebook and make lots of mistakes.
This thing is so stupid. Yeah, yeah, a k OTV motherfucker one.
(02:02):
Yeah, what you call me?Joey? Yes, Dear Bonnie.
(02:29):
In any other city in the UnitedStates, a tenant like Ellen would be
considered bizarre, perhaps even unbelievable.But nobody who has lived in Berkeley for
a long time would be surprised bya story like this. Landlords in Berkeley
have to deal with tenants like Ellenall the time. When inexperienced Berkeley landlords
(02:53):
ask me for advice, I tellthem that the key to successfully dealing with
someone like Ellen is patience. Lotsand lots of patients Mark September ninth,
(03:15):
nineteen eighty eight, Western Siev.One hundred and ten Ellen one. Who
were the physiocrats? The physiocrats wantedthe government to be run by physicians.
Two Briefly explain Adam Smith's theory ofthe division of labor. Adam Smith has
(03:36):
a TV show he gives stock markettips. I don't watch it. Three
Briefly describe David Ricardo's theory of wages. David Ricardo was a Cuban bandleader.
He didn't get a wage. Hewas paid for the whole band. His
theory was that he should get awage. Four named two books authored or
(03:59):
co authored by Frederick Engels. Trickquestion, trick question. Frederick Engles was
a slave and wasn't allowed to writebooks. Five Why did Trotsky lose and
his power struggle with Stalin? Trotskywas born on October twenty sixth, eighteen
seventy nine. That means that he'sa scorpio. Scorpios are difficult people with
(04:21):
tough luck. Six. Why wasEugene Debs tried and imprisoned? Eugene Debs
was trying to lead the Union inthe fight against the Confederacy, but he
was imprisoned for being a socialist.September ninth, nineteen eighty eight. Geography
one oh one ellen United Nations.The United Nations isn't really a country or
(04:47):
a nation at all. It's justsomething that Franklin Roosevelt and his liberal friends
thought up. The UN is aplace for communists to insult the US in
front of the whole world. TheUN doesn't have any geography, just a
building in New York City. TheUN does print their own postage stamps and
they have their own flag. TheUN speaks every language, even German.
(05:13):
The UN bought the US the abomb to apologize for insulting us. Then
we dropped it on Japan because theywouldn't stop insulting us the end September tenth,
nineteen eighty eight Geography one oh oneEllen Canada. Canada is a very
big country just north of the US. Canadians are really just like Americans,
(05:39):
except their money isn't worth as muchas ours. I know a lot about
Canada because I've seen lots of moviesor TV late at night about Canada.
Canada is full of woods. Canadais so boring. They don't have crime,
so they don't need police. Theyjust have the mounties who roam around
on horses and some time sing.In Canada, they speak French because they
(06:03):
want to be a tourist trap likeFrance. In Canada, they also speak
English because they want to be justlike the US. Michael J. Fox
is Canadian, even though he isshort. Most Canadians are tall. Since
most of Canada is in the woods, most Canadians live in the woods.
(06:25):
Canadians get around by sleds pulled bybig dogs and sometimes buy cars too.
For fun, Canadians like to playice hockey and hunt baby seals with clubs.
It's a disgusting sport if you askme, bad karma too. There
are also French Canadians. They arethe ones that speak French. Respectable people
(06:47):
won't have anything to do with them. French Canadians wear loud plaid shirts.
They carry axes and cut down treesfor a living. They save the syrup
and then sell the trees to maketable. French Canadians always look like they
need to shave. French Canadians alsotrap small animals for their fur. Canada
(07:09):
is famous for its bacon and gingerrele. Canada's capital is Ottawa, but nobody
cares about it. It snows alot in Canada, and so lots of
polar bears go there. Polar bearslook white, but they are really black
underneath all the white. The endSeptember fifteenth, nineteen eighty eight. Geography,
(07:30):
one oh one ellen Colombia. Colombiais a country in South America.
South America is south of Our America. There are a lot of mountains in
Colombia. The people in Colombia speakSpanish and are Catholics. Colombia is famous
for its coffee. All the coffeein Colombia is handpicked by one man.
(07:55):
His name is Juan Baldez. Idon't see how just one man with a
burrow can pick all the coffee ina whole country. Juan Valdez never seems
to be working very hard or veryfast. Either there's something fishy about Juan
Valdez, but I can't prove it. If you can't prove something, you
have to say you can't prove it, or else you'll get into trouble.
(08:18):
Wan Valdez is always dressed in whiteclothes and wears a sun brerero. Lots
of people in Colombia wear sun brerosbecause it is very hot there and there
is lots of sun. Juan Valdezhas a mustache, he seems very short.
Juan's burro just follows him around andcarries all the coffee. Colombia should
(08:39):
spend less time worrying about Juan Valdezand more time worrying about all the drugs
there. Colombia is famous for drugs. If you go there, you will
probably get kidnapped, even if you'rean adult. The end September twentieth,
nineteen eighty eight. Geography one ohone Ellen Jeremy. Germany, if it
(09:01):
was all put together, would bethe biggest country in Europe. Germany is
where the Nazis come from, butI won't talk about that because this is
geography class, not history class.The Nazis use the Jews like escaped goats.
Germany is in the north of Europe. Since World War Two, Germany
(09:22):
has been divided into two countries,East Germany, which is in the east,
and West Germany, which is inthe west. The capital of West
Germany is Bonn. The capital ofEast Germany is East Berlin, which is
east of West Berlin, which ispart of West Germany. Even though it
is in East Germany. Germans speakGerman, which is a gutter language.
(09:48):
There are many famous cities in bothGermanys, like Cologne or Cologne is made.
Dresden, where the China comes from, not China, the country China,
the plate Hamburg where Hamburgers come from, and Frankfurt where hot dogs come
from. Hot Dogs come in packagesof ten, but hot dogs buns come
(10:09):
in packages of eight. Germans dosome weird things. Germans like to drink
beer and make expensive cars that noone can fix. Germans are scam artists.
If you ask me. The endSeptember twentieth, nineteen eighty eight,
Western SIEV one hundred and ten ellenone name the combating sides in the War
(10:33):
of the Roses and why they werefighting. The War of the Roses is
fought every year in Pasadena. Idon't know who is combating this year because
I don't follow football. Two whatwere the main principles of the Mayflower Compact?
The Mayflower Compact was a paper,not a real compact. I have
(10:54):
a real solid silver compact with myinitials on it that my mother gave me.
The Mayflower Compact was signed on Novembereleventh, sixteen twenty, under scorpio,
So that's all anyone needs to knowabout it. Three. Who was
Christmas Addicts and how did he die? Christmas Attics was killed in the Boston
(11:15):
massacre on March fifth, seventeen seventyfour. Why did England impose the tea
tax on its American colonies to payfor the French and Indian War? Five?
What were the Townshend Acts and howdid they eventually result in the Boston
Tea Party. The Townshend Acts werereally taxes, and nobody wanted to pay
(11:37):
them, so mister Townshend was invitedto the Boston Tea Party. September twenty
ninth, nineteen eighty eight. WesternSIEV one hundred ten Ellen match the names
in column A with column B,and briefly state the connection column a Queen
(11:58):
Isabella, Franz Halls, Frederick theGreat, Katherine the Great, Martin Luther,
Queen Anne, Colin b The DutchMasters, Wolfgang Mozart, Potempkin Village,
The Diet of Worms, the Houseof Stuart, King Ferdinand one Queen
(12:22):
Isabella and Queen Anne. They wereboth female impersonators. They died of aides.
Two King Ferdinand and the Dutch Masters. They had cigars named after them.
Three Franz Halls and Wolfgang Mozart Nazibig shots. Four Frederick the Great
(12:45):
and Catherine the Great they were bothgreat. Five Pateempkin Village and Martin Luther.
Martin Luther led a big civil rightsmarch through the Potemkin Village in Mississippi.
Six The Diet of and the Houseof Stuart. The House of Stuart
Restaurant started the diet of worms.It was a fad diet that didn't last.
(13:09):
October second, nineteen eighty eight.Geography one oh one ellen Thailand.
Thailand is a country in Southeast Asia. Its capital is Bangkok. Thailand used
to be called Siam. Thailand isfamous for two things, cats and twins.
(13:30):
People in Thailand eat Thai food.Thai food is very popular right now.
I used to eat Thai food allthe time, but no more.
A friend of mine has a fatherwho's a doctor, and he says that
there was a terrible Thai food epidemicin Russia just after the Communists took over,
and millions of people died. Hesays that millions of people still get
(13:54):
sick and die in Thai food epidemicsevery year. So I'm playing it smart.
I don't eat Thay food anymore.Thailand has a king. He is
short and fat and bald. Hespeaks with a German accent, even though
people in Thailand speak Thai. Thailandis surrounded by water except to the north
(14:16):
and the east and some of thewest. There are many islands in Thailand,
but Thailand is not an island.Thailand is a peninsula. The end
September twenty second, nineteen eighty nine, Dear Mark, I'm sorry I haven't
been able to write to you.Karen and Robin me were in Mexico.
(14:37):
That's why I haven't been able towrite to you. Because we were in
Mexico. We went on vacation toAlkopolko. Alkopolko is a city in Mexico,
which is a country but you probablyalready knew that. Karen's father said
enough was enough and bought us allplane tickets, even me. I think
he knows. We've been under alot of stress lately and I needed a
(15:00):
vacation. Anyway, back to mystory, Mexico is really pretty and there
are lots of plants there and evensome monkeys. I did not see any
pinatas or jumping beans, though wehad a good time on our first day
in Mexico. You only have tobe eighteen years old to drink. In
the United States, you have tobe twenty one. Rob couldn't wait to
(15:24):
drink. Rob's dad lets him drinkat home sometimes, but Rob likes to
drink in public. Rob sure drinka lot. I don't like to drink.
I don't like the taste of alcohol. Alcohol is not from alcoholko,
I asked. Tequila is from Mexico, which is a type of alcohol,
but most alcohols aren't from Mexico.Does that make sense. My mother always
(15:50):
says, it's not tequila, it'sto kill ya, isn't she funny?
Rob drank a lot of tequila andit didn't kill him, but he sure
did throw up a lot. You'renot supposed to drink the water in Mexico
because it has germs. Rob drankthe water. Rob got very sick.
Karen and me just ordered ice andwaited for the ice to melt into water
(16:12):
to drink. Wasn't that clever ofus? Well, we got sick anyhow,
Karen blamed Rob. I think maybethe ice is bad in Mexico too.
I put two letters from Rob andKaren in this envelope with my letter.
Charlie told them they couldn't send lettersto you, but they told me
that I could send letters to youfrom them, so that they wouldn't be
(16:34):
the one sending the letters. Ithink they must miswriting letters to you as
much as I did. Well,Audios. That means goodbye in Spanish,
which is the language they speak inMexico, even though Mexico is not in
Spain, where Spanish comes from.Yours, Ellen, September twenty second,
nineteen eighty nine, Dear Mark,there is a letter for you from Rob
(16:56):
in this letter for you from me. In the letter for you that Ellen's
said, Robin me are not sendingthe letters, Ellen is, so don't
snitch on us. I have hadsome time to think, and I think
you still owe me some. KarenSeptember twenty second, nineteen eighty nine.
Dear mister Mark, I'm Karen's legaladvisor. My wife Karen would like you
(17:21):
to send any letters to her tome, Rob, legal adviser to Karen.
My wife Karen has said plenty oftime to think this over. My
wife Karen does not care if weembarrass you know who. My wife Karen
will not be told who she canand who she can embarrass, or when
she can and when she can embarrassherself. My wife Karen says she is
entitled to her God given right toembarrass anyone she wants, even if she
(17:44):
does not think she embarrassed anyone.My wife Karen is also entitled to pray
for a million dollars. I'm writingto let you know that my wife Karen
and me are going to unloop yourjurisdiction loophole. I'm gonna motion and lemons
you so bad you'll wish you'll neverjurisdic at her in the first place.
You and only you, can preventthe very big lawsuit we are going to
sue you with by giving my wifeKaren the million dollars you owe her.
(18:07):
You're probably wondering why I'm not givingyou a deal this time, And I'll
tell you why. My wife,Karen and may have been very patient with
you. We let you dangle usaround, We let you embarrass us.
We even let you keep the catpainting in the mermaid clock. We gave
you so many deals. Well you'reall out of deals. Now you lose.
Sincerely, Rob, Legal Adviser toKaren PS. Don't tell Charlie Worthington
(18:34):
I sent you this. He doesn'tneed to know because I fired him.
Don't tell Charlie Worthington I fired him. He doesn't need to know that either,
because I fired him. Just tellme what you're going to tell Charlie
Worthington, and don't forget to sendthe million dollars that you owe us.
March eleventh, nineteen ninety Dear Bonnie, I just got off the phone with
(18:57):
CW's office. The call did notgo well. He called me a buffoon.
Specifically, he said it would takea real, an explative buffoon to
screw this up. He then clarifiedthat the buffoon in this situation is me
(19:23):
an unnecessary clarification. I apologized todeaf ears before being hung up on.
Please reiterate that I have been complyingwith the terms of our contract. I
(19:45):
have not engaged with the girls.If I have done anything to jeopardize this
deal, please do your best tofix it. I will do whatever is
necessary. I really need this towork out. This truly is a once
(20:07):
in a lifetime opportunity. Mark.I stopped talking to Patty. They don't
even live in the area anymore.They moved back to the East Coast.
I don't keep much on them.Really, one hundred and two degrees yikes?
(20:29):
Did I know Jackie? I agreea woman should be able to take
care of herself. How is yourdaughter? Does she still have that friend
of hers? She seemed like anice girl. I was up all night
after that first call with Sarah.I couldn't figure out how Email Karen and
Rob and fish Ellen could exist inthe same timeline. Email Karen had confirmed
(20:55):
that she was the Karen from theletters, but fish Ellen actually they had
a paper trail leading her back tothe cottage. Apart from my conversations with
Email Karen, there was nothing reallytying her to the cottage or fish Ellen.
The other thing that bothered me wasthat Karen had confirmed her roommate was
named Ellen and even mentioned her byname. Yet fish Ellen was not actually
(21:18):
named Ellen. I could make senseof one or the other living in the
cottage, but I just couldn't figureout a way where both of them lived
in the cottage, at least nottogether. By four AM, I found
myself deep diving all the letters,all my email correspondents, all my research,
all the conversations with Sarah. Iwasn't sure what I was looking for,
(21:42):
just hopeful that something might stick out, that there might be one overlooked
thing that would make sense of allof this. Then I remembered that strange,
anonymous email I received several months aftermy conversations with Email Karen. Maybe
there was some thing in there thatcould shed light on all this. I
(22:03):
scanned the email a few times,which didn't really give me any clues.
It just reiterated what I was feeling, which was that I was entirely lost.
And that's when I saw it,plain as day. I don't know
how I could have missed it before. I wasn't entirely sure what it meant,
but I knew it was a reallybig deal. Hello, it's the
(22:37):
same IP address, What it's thesame IP address. So email Karen.
Uh huh emailed me from the sameIP address as the guy, the strange
guy the wait to email email Karen. Email Karen? Is his Facebook Karen?
(23:07):
Right? Yes? Okay? Isit the same IP address as some
This is the guy who did what? Remember the guy who contacted me,
probably like six or seven months afterthe live performance, and he was like,
I know I have a copy ofthe letters, and I know more
(23:27):
than like that. It's saying it'slike the same person wrote books. Yes,
yes, email man, it's thesame It's the same person wrote both
of those emails. What does thatmean? I have no idea, but
I feel like it's important. Ohmy god, So what do you?
(23:51):
What do you do now? Likewhat I think I have to I think
I have to message Karen? EmailKaren? Okay? Yeah? Is that
crazy? Am I opening up agiant bag of worms doing this? Probably?
But like, like, why comeat you from two different angles?
(24:15):
I have no idea. Hi,Karen, I don't know if you remember
(24:40):
me. We corresponded back in twentytwelve. I have some of your old
letters and I think we need totalk O. These are not sepos.
(25:10):
Latter fi Starmar World. Can Ido Boman passes the singers SA
January fourth, twenty twelve. DearJosh, A friend of mine helped me
look up this blog thing of yours, and I don't like it one bit.
When I emailed you before, Ididn't know that some of the things
on this blog were some of thethings you said were on this block.
It's not fair, and you knowit. I want you to erase the
things I said in there, Josh, Olmark, I didn't say. In
(00:32):
nineteen ninety four, I received abound copy of the Caroenel letters. You've
mentioned repeatedly that your letters are handwritten. The copy I have is typed.
That's just one of the many discrepanciesbetween the letters that appeared on your blog
last year and the letters I've hadfor close to twenty years. I have
some ideas there's a chance that yourwhole blog baked ham recipe erased, erase
(01:00):
baked him delete, erase dot.I'm sorry I put that on your Facebook
page. I am still new onthe Facebook and make lots of mistakes.
This thing is so stupid. Yeah, yeah, a k OTV motherfucker one.
(02:02):
Yeah, what you call me?Joey? Yes, Dear Bonnie.
(02:29):
In any other city in the UnitedStates, a tenant like Ellen would be
considered bizarre, perhaps even unbelievable.But nobody who has lived in Berkeley for
a long time would be surprised bya story like this. Landlords in Berkeley
have to deal with tenants like Ellenall the time. When inexperienced Berkeley landlords
(02:53):
ask me for advice, I tellthem that the key to successfully dealing with
someone like Ellen is patience. Lotsand lots of patients Mark September ninth,
(03:15):
nineteen eighty eight, Western Siev.One hundred and ten Ellen one. Who
were the physiocrats? The physiocrats wantedthe government to be run by physicians.
Two Briefly explain Adam Smith's theory ofthe division of labor. Adam Smith has
(03:36):
a TV show he gives stock markettips. I don't watch it. Three
Briefly describe David Ricardo's theory of wages. David Ricardo was a Cuban bandleader.
He didn't get a wage. Hewas paid for the whole band. His
theory was that he should get awage. Four named two books authored or
(03:59):
co authored by Frederick Engels. Trickquestion, trick question. Frederick Engles was
a slave and wasn't allowed to writebooks. Five Why did Trotsky lose and
his power struggle with Stalin? Trotskywas born on October twenty sixth, eighteen
seventy nine. That means that he'sa scorpio. Scorpios are difficult people with
(04:21):
tough luck. Six. Why wasEugene Debs tried and imprisoned? Eugene Debs
was trying to lead the Union inthe fight against the Confederacy, but he
was imprisoned for being a socialist.September ninth, nineteen eighty eight. Geography
one oh one ellen United Nations.The United Nations isn't really a country or
(04:47):
a nation at all. It's justsomething that Franklin Roosevelt and his liberal friends
thought up. The UN is aplace for communists to insult the US in
front of the whole world. TheUN doesn't have any geography, just a
building in New York City. TheUN does print their own postage stamps and
they have their own flag. TheUN speaks every language, even German.
(05:13):
The UN bought the US the abomb to apologize for insulting us. Then
we dropped it on Japan because theywouldn't stop insulting us the end September tenth,
nineteen eighty eight Geography one oh oneEllen Canada. Canada is a very
big country just north of the US. Canadians are really just like Americans,
(05:39):
except their money isn't worth as muchas ours. I know a lot about
Canada because I've seen lots of moviesor TV late at night about Canada.
Canada is full of woods. Canadais so boring. They don't have crime,
so they don't need police. Theyjust have the mounties who roam around
on horses and some time sing.In Canada, they speak French because they
(06:03):
want to be a tourist trap likeFrance. In Canada, they also speak
English because they want to be justlike the US. Michael J. Fox
is Canadian, even though he isshort. Most Canadians are tall. Since
most of Canada is in the woods, most Canadians live in the woods.
(06:25):
Canadians get around by sleds pulled bybig dogs and sometimes buy cars too.
For fun, Canadians like to playice hockey and hunt baby seals with clubs.
It's a disgusting sport if you askme, bad karma too. There
are also French Canadians. They arethe ones that speak French. Respectable people
(06:47):
won't have anything to do with them. French Canadians wear loud plaid shirts.
They carry axes and cut down treesfor a living. They save the syrup
and then sell the trees to maketable. French Canadians always look like they
need to shave. French Canadians alsotrap small animals for their fur. Canada
(07:09):
is famous for its bacon and gingerrele. Canada's capital is Ottawa, but nobody
cares about it. It snows alot in Canada, and so lots of
polar bears go there. Polar bearslook white, but they are really black
underneath all the white. The endSeptember fifteenth, nineteen eighty eight. Geography,
(07:30):
one oh one ellen Colombia. Colombiais a country in South America.
South America is south of Our America. There are a lot of mountains in
Colombia. The people in Colombia speakSpanish and are Catholics. Colombia is famous
for its coffee. All the coffeein Colombia is handpicked by one man.
(07:55):
His name is Juan Baldez. Idon't see how just one man with a
burrow can pick all the coffee ina whole country. Juan Valdez never seems
to be working very hard or veryfast. Either there's something fishy about Juan
Valdez, but I can't prove it. If you can't prove something, you
have to say you can't prove it, or else you'll get into trouble.
(08:18):
Wan Valdez is always dressed in whiteclothes and wears a sun brerero. Lots
of people in Colombia wear sun brerosbecause it is very hot there and there
is lots of sun. Juan Valdezhas a mustache, he seems very short.
Juan's burro just follows him around andcarries all the coffee. Colombia should
(08:39):
spend less time worrying about Juan Valdezand more time worrying about all the drugs
there. Colombia is famous for drugs. If you go there, you will
probably get kidnapped, even if you'rean adult. The end September twentieth,
nineteen eighty eight. Geography one ohone Ellen Jeremy. Germany, if it
(09:01):
was all put together, would bethe biggest country in Europe. Germany is
where the Nazis come from, butI won't talk about that because this is
geography class, not history class.The Nazis use the Jews like escaped goats.
Germany is in the north of Europe. Since World War Two, Germany
(09:22):
has been divided into two countries,East Germany, which is in the east,
and West Germany, which is inthe west. The capital of West
Germany is Bonn. The capital ofEast Germany is East Berlin, which is
east of West Berlin, which ispart of West Germany. Even though it
is in East Germany. Germans speakGerman, which is a gutter language.
(09:48):
There are many famous cities in bothGermanys, like Cologne or Cologne is made.
Dresden, where the China comes from, not China, the country China,
the plate Hamburg where Hamburgers come from, and Frankfurt where hot dogs come
from. Hot Dogs come in packagesof ten, but hot dogs buns come
(10:09):
in packages of eight. Germans dosome weird things. Germans like to drink
beer and make expensive cars that noone can fix. Germans are scam artists.
If you ask me. The endSeptember twentieth, nineteen eighty eight,
Western SIEV one hundred and ten ellenone name the combating sides in the War
(10:33):
of the Roses and why they werefighting. The War of the Roses is
fought every year in Pasadena. Idon't know who is combating this year because
I don't follow football. Two whatwere the main principles of the Mayflower Compact?
The Mayflower Compact was a paper,not a real compact. I have
(10:54):
a real solid silver compact with myinitials on it that my mother gave me.
The Mayflower Compact was signed on Novembereleventh, sixteen twenty, under scorpio,
So that's all anyone needs to knowabout it. Three. Who was
Christmas Addicts and how did he die? Christmas Attics was killed in the Boston
(11:15):
massacre on March fifth, seventeen seventyfour. Why did England impose the tea
tax on its American colonies to payfor the French and Indian War? Five?
What were the Townshend Acts and howdid they eventually result in the Boston
Tea Party. The Townshend Acts werereally taxes, and nobody wanted to pay
(11:37):
them, so mister Townshend was invitedto the Boston Tea Party. September twenty
ninth, nineteen eighty eight. WesternSIEV one hundred ten Ellen match the names
in column A with column B,and briefly state the connection column a Queen
(11:58):
Isabella, Franz Halls, Frederick theGreat, Katherine the Great, Martin Luther,
Queen Anne, Colin b The DutchMasters, Wolfgang Mozart, Potempkin Village,
The Diet of Worms, the Houseof Stuart, King Ferdinand one Queen
(12:22):
Isabella and Queen Anne. They wereboth female impersonators. They died of aides.
Two King Ferdinand and the Dutch Masters. They had cigars named after them.
Three Franz Halls and Wolfgang Mozart Nazibig shots. Four Frederick the Great
(12:45):
and Catherine the Great they were bothgreat. Five Pateempkin Village and Martin Luther.
Martin Luther led a big civil rightsmarch through the Potemkin Village in Mississippi.
Six The Diet of and the Houseof Stuart. The House of Stuart
Restaurant started the diet of worms.It was a fad diet that didn't last.
(13:09):
October second, nineteen eighty eight.Geography one oh one ellen Thailand.
Thailand is a country in Southeast Asia. Its capital is Bangkok. Thailand used
to be called Siam. Thailand isfamous for two things, cats and twins.
(13:30):
People in Thailand eat Thai food.Thai food is very popular right now.
I used to eat Thai food allthe time, but no more.
A friend of mine has a fatherwho's a doctor, and he says that
there was a terrible Thai food epidemicin Russia just after the Communists took over,
and millions of people died. Hesays that millions of people still get
(13:54):
sick and die in Thai food epidemicsevery year. So I'm playing it smart.
I don't eat Thay food anymore.Thailand has a king. He is
short and fat and bald. Hespeaks with a German accent, even though
people in Thailand speak Thai. Thailandis surrounded by water except to the north
(14:16):
and the east and some of thewest. There are many islands in Thailand,
but Thailand is not an island.Thailand is a peninsula. The end
September twenty second, nineteen eighty nine, Dear Mark, I'm sorry I haven't
been able to write to you.Karen and Robin me were in Mexico.
(14:37):
That's why I haven't been able towrite to you. Because we were in
Mexico. We went on vacation toAlkopolko. Alkopolko is a city in Mexico,
which is a country but you probablyalready knew that. Karen's father said
enough was enough and bought us allplane tickets, even me. I think
he knows. We've been under alot of stress lately and I needed a
(15:00):
vacation. Anyway, back to mystory, Mexico is really pretty and there
are lots of plants there and evensome monkeys. I did not see any
pinatas or jumping beans, though wehad a good time on our first day
in Mexico. You only have tobe eighteen years old to drink. In
the United States, you have tobe twenty one. Rob couldn't wait to
(15:24):
drink. Rob's dad lets him drinkat home sometimes, but Rob likes to
drink in public. Rob sure drinka lot. I don't like to drink.
I don't like the taste of alcohol. Alcohol is not from alcoholko,
I asked. Tequila is from Mexico, which is a type of alcohol,
but most alcohols aren't from Mexico.Does that make sense. My mother always
(15:50):
says, it's not tequila, it'sto kill ya, isn't she funny?
Rob drank a lot of tequila andit didn't kill him, but he sure
did throw up a lot. You'renot supposed to drink the water in Mexico
because it has germs. Rob drankthe water. Rob got very sick.
Karen and me just ordered ice andwaited for the ice to melt into water
(16:12):
to drink. Wasn't that clever ofus? Well, we got sick anyhow,
Karen blamed Rob. I think maybethe ice is bad in Mexico too.
I put two letters from Rob andKaren in this envelope with my letter.
Charlie told them they couldn't send lettersto you, but they told me
that I could send letters to youfrom them, so that they wouldn't be
(16:34):
the one sending the letters. Ithink they must miswriting letters to you as
much as I did. Well,Audios. That means goodbye in Spanish,
which is the language they speak inMexico, even though Mexico is not in
Spain, where Spanish comes from.Yours, Ellen, September twenty second,
nineteen eighty nine, Dear Mark,there is a letter for you from Rob
(16:56):
in this letter for you from me. In the letter for you that Ellen's
said, Robin me are not sendingthe letters, Ellen is, so don't
snitch on us. I have hadsome time to think, and I think
you still owe me some. KarenSeptember twenty second, nineteen eighty nine.
Dear mister Mark, I'm Karen's legaladvisor. My wife Karen would like you
(17:21):
to send any letters to her tome, Rob, legal adviser to Karen.
My wife Karen has said plenty oftime to think this over. My
wife Karen does not care if weembarrass you know who. My wife Karen
will not be told who she canand who she can embarrass, or when
she can and when she can embarrassherself. My wife Karen says she is
entitled to her God given right toembarrass anyone she wants, even if she
(17:44):
does not think she embarrassed anyone.My wife Karen is also entitled to pray
for a million dollars. I'm writingto let you know that my wife Karen
and me are going to unloop yourjurisdiction loophole. I'm gonna motion and lemons
you so bad you'll wish you'll neverjurisdic at her in the first place.
You and only you, can preventthe very big lawsuit we are going to
sue you with by giving my wifeKaren the million dollars you owe her.
(18:07):
You're probably wondering why I'm not givingyou a deal this time, And I'll
tell you why. My wife,Karen and may have been very patient with
you. We let you dangle usaround, We let you embarrass us.
We even let you keep the catpainting in the mermaid clock. We gave
you so many deals. Well you'reall out of deals. Now you lose.
Sincerely, Rob, Legal Adviser toKaren PS. Don't tell Charlie Worthington
(18:34):
I sent you this. He doesn'tneed to know because I fired him.
Don't tell Charlie Worthington I fired him. He doesn't need to know that either,
because I fired him. Just tellme what you're going to tell Charlie
Worthington, and don't forget to sendthe million dollars that you owe us.
March eleventh, nineteen ninety Dear Bonnie, I just got off the phone with
(18:57):
CW's office. The call did notgo well. He called me a buffoon.
Specifically, he said it would takea real, an explative buffoon to
screw this up. He then clarifiedthat the buffoon in this situation is me
(19:23):
an unnecessary clarification. I apologized todeaf ears before being hung up on.
Please reiterate that I have been complyingwith the terms of our contract. I
(19:45):
have not engaged with the girls.If I have done anything to jeopardize this
deal, please do your best tofix it. I will do whatever is
necessary. I really need this towork out. This truly is a once
(20:07):
in a lifetime opportunity. Mark.I stopped talking to Patty. They don't
even live in the area anymore.They moved back to the East Coast.
I don't keep much on them.Really, one hundred and two degrees yikes?
(20:29):
Did I know Jackie? I agreea woman should be able to take
care of herself. How is yourdaughter? Does she still have that friend
of hers? She seemed like anice girl. I was up all night
after that first call with Sarah.I couldn't figure out how Email Karen and
Rob and fish Ellen could exist inthe same timeline. Email Karen had confirmed
(20:55):
that she was the Karen from theletters, but fish Ellen actually they had
a paper trail leading her back tothe cottage. Apart from my conversations with
Email Karen, there was nothing reallytying her to the cottage or fish Ellen.
The other thing that bothered me wasthat Karen had confirmed her roommate was
named Ellen and even mentioned her byname. Yet fish Ellen was not actually
(21:18):
named Ellen. I could make senseof one or the other living in the
cottage, but I just couldn't figureout a way where both of them lived
in the cottage, at least nottogether. By four AM, I found
myself deep diving all the letters,all my email correspondents, all my research,
all the conversations with Sarah. Iwasn't sure what I was looking for,
(21:42):
just hopeful that something might stick out, that there might be one overlooked
thing that would make sense of allof this. Then I remembered that strange,
anonymous email I received several months aftermy conversations with Email Karen. Maybe
there was some thing in there thatcould shed light on all this. I
(22:03):
scanned the email a few times,which didn't really give me any clues.
It just reiterated what I was feeling, which was that I was entirely lost.
And that's when I saw it,plain as day. I don't know
how I could have missed it before. I wasn't entirely sure what it meant,
but I knew it was a reallybig deal. Hello, it's the
(22:37):
same IP address, What it's thesame IP address. So email Karen.
Uh huh emailed me from the sameIP address as the guy, the strange
guy the wait to email email Karen. Email Karen? Is his Facebook Karen?
(23:07):
Right? Yes? Okay? Isit the same IP address as some
This is the guy who did what? Remember the guy who contacted me,
probably like six or seven months afterthe live performance, and he was like,
I know I have a copy ofthe letters, and I know more
(23:27):
than like that. It's saying it'slike the same person wrote books. Yes,
yes, email man, it's thesame It's the same person wrote both
of those emails. What does thatmean? I have no idea, but
I feel like it's important. Ohmy god, So what do you?
(23:51):
What do you do now? Likewhat I think I have to I think
I have to message Karen? EmailKaren? Okay? Yeah? Is that
crazy? Am I opening up agiant bag of worms doing this? Probably?
But like, like, why comeat you from two different angles?
(24:15):
I have no idea. Hi,Karen, I don't know if you remember
(24:40):
me. We corresponded back in twentytwelve. I have some of your old
letters and I think we need totalk O. These are not sepos.
(25:10):
Latter fi Starmar World. Can Ido Boman passes the singers SA
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