April 24, 2025 • 25 mins
Are You Afraid To Depend On God? With Kashawn Watson In the latest episode of "The Kay Wats Podcast," Kay concludes the season with a passage out of John 15. She shares what she’s learned about abiding and dwelling with God, understanding the importance of dependency and the gift it produces.
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey guys, welcome to the KWATS Podcast. I'm your host
Kashawan Watson, but you know me as KWATS. This is
the place where we chat about the questions that we
ask God. You share testimonials around healing, homeleness, and forgiveness,
and I'm super excited that you're joining us here today.
At the end of this episode, make sure you give
us a like, share, subscribe again.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Welcome to the k WATS podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hey guys, welcome to an all new episode of the
k WATS Podcast. I'm your host Kashan Watson, but you
know me as KAWATS, and I am super excited about
this week's episode, y'all. I mean, we have made it
through the team season. I say the OOP team because
it really feels that way. But this is the season finale, guys,
I am going on maternity leave. That's right for all
(00:48):
of the pregnant mamas out there that you understand that
at a certain point the breathing, the breathing becomes tough.
So I've been I'm very, very intentional with just setting
some time aside just to put my feet up and
rest until the arrival of baby girl. And I appreciate
(01:08):
all you guys's prayers and support during this my time
of rest and going into motherhood. But while we go
ahead and prepare for that, I just wanted to do
I don't want to say a conclusion episode, but I
definitely feel like just to wrap up this season and
where we are the questions we're asking the Lord in
(01:30):
this season that it just really brought me to let's say,
scripture reference John fifteen. Let's go John fifteen, verse five.
I am the vine, and you are the branches. If
you remain in me and I in you, you will
(01:52):
wear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing.
If you do not remain in me. You are like
a branch that is thrown away and wilders. Such branches
are picked up, thrown into the fire.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And burned.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
This is to my father's glory that you bear much
fruit showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Now this is a different approach, but I feel like,
as we conclude this season and we're asking questions, I
gotta tell you that when I was preparing for the
conclusion episode and I was kind of like, Lord, well,
what would you like me to talk about? You know
what question have I been talking to you about that
I haven't really brought to the podcast or brought to
(02:53):
this platform. And if I'm honest, of course, during the
season of pregnancy or just in this season of being
in my late thirties, one of the things that I
really had to admit, and I say admit, confess, and
that I also have to repent because there is a difference,
right I can admit something that I'm aware of something,
(03:15):
but then there's a difference between me actually repenting of
the thing and you know, turning away from it and
turning towards the Lord. And one of the things was
being I don't know if the word is afraid of
being unwilling or embarrassed to admit that I was one
(03:40):
hundred and twenty thousand percent dependent on the Lord one
hundred and twenty thousand percent. And I don't think it
was until this season and stage of my life to
where I just put my hands up and said, I act.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Like there is no stre.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
There is no perfect situation. I know the buzzword is community,
but there's no community group that's going to get me
through this. It is only by me dwelling and abiding
in the presence of God. It is only by me
seeking his face every single day. And that brought me
to the question of the week, which is are you
(04:25):
okay being dependent on God? And I actually was looking
up the definition of codependency because in my mind, I'm
like being dependent on the Lord. But then in my
mind I'm like, okay, well, God doesn't like you know,
we have this thought that God doesn't really need me
like he could.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
He's God, he's sovereign, he doesn't need me.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
It's an honor that he would even use me, trust me,
put breath in my lungs, like there is an honor
that He just chose to create me and to give
me life and give me life daily and all the
things and all the different nuances and facets.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Of this life.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But when I go back and I read this contact
the scripture, when I'm reading John fifteen, I just let's
just you want to know what, Let's go up to
John fifteen.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Let's go to verse one.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I've ever started a verse five, but like, let's bring
it back. Let's go to verse one. I am the
true vibe, and my father is the gardener. He cuts
off every branch in me that bears no fruit. Well,
every branch that does bear fruit, he proves so that
it would be even more fruitful. You are already clean
because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain
(05:45):
in me as I also remain in you. This can
I tell you. I've never I've read this scripture so
many times. I have hurt this passage so many times,
and I never looked at this passage as basically Jesus
(06:07):
telling telling his disciples.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
You have to be dependent on me.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
As I am dwelling in you. You can do nothing.
He didn't say some things. He said, you could do
nothing apart for me. That means even in the middle school,
things that I think that I've been able to do
on my own, and maybe back in the day that
(06:36):
that could be academics. You know, if I started study
hard enough, I'm gonna be able to get the best
grades and the degree and the best jobs and all.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
The benefits that come with that, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
And I could chalk this up to where I studied
hard enough that I was smart enough that I sat
next to the right person in class.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I always showed to sit next to the smartest people
in the room.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
That's just a note.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
That I would excel. And it took me a long
time just to be able to.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Accept that the Lord planted me in every single room,
next to every single person. It has always been by
his design. And I think that there was a time
where I just wasn't willing to admit and I wasn't
willing to receive that I am reliant on the Lord
(07:38):
to provide me, to protect me, to perfect every good
work inside of me. I just wasn't honest about it.
And I used to come up with five step plans
and two year goals and all the things. So half
(08:02):
this moment to where, you know, as we do, I think,
as we get older and life goes in different ways,
and we don't really understand all the different ways that
God does things, or shall I say, all the different winds,
because that is something that I recently had to remind
(08:25):
myself that the prayer that we pray.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That says.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Not my will, but Your will be done on earth
as it is in Heaven is not just pertaining to
me relinquishing the way I want God to do something,
but it's also me relinquishing when God does it and
for so long, I think that I would completely take
(08:52):
out the wind.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I would say, you know what, God, that's right, do
it your way.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I don't need it my way, but if you could
just do your way on my timeline.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
That would be perfect.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
And I was reminded recently, like, yeah, that's not how
it works.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
His way also means his win.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
His timeline is included in his will because he's sovereign,
so I don't get to say when he does something,
because even that is a form of control. And when
I am connected to him, when I abide in him,
then I can trust in his way and I can
(09:34):
trust in his timing. But it took me some time
to really really understand that. And people may say, oh,
well it's easy, it's easier said. I know, singles can say, well,
it's easier said when you're married. I know people that
are waiting to become moms can say, well, it's easier
said when you're pregnant. And this is what I will
(09:55):
say to that I had shared at my baby shower
a couple of weeks ago, and I had shared the
fact that when I was nineteen, I was given a.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Prophetic word about.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Me getting married, and this woman was letting me know
like that I was going to marry a pastor, and
I kind of felt like she was off. I was
gonna be honest, like even though I had known her,
she had never been off before. I just was like,
I don't I don't see that for me. If you
knew what I was about to do when I leave
out of here, you would not fake that I was
going to marry a pastor. Okay, that's where I was.
(10:32):
And she was describing him to describe what it looked like,
but described his character, describe who he was going to be.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And then there was.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
One part that she said that I did not want
to hear at the time, and she actually said that
I see you having children and I see you getting
married and.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Having children older.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And when she said it, I am merely wanted to
rebuke it because it was something that I did not
want to receive. So the interesting part is that the
Lord reminded me of that prophetic word recently, and he
reminded me that I got that word twenty years ago.
(11:25):
Twenty years ago, I was given that word and I
did not want to receive it. I had completely thrown
it out of my mind, and I paid attention to
the other facets of the word, because that's what we
do sometimes, even when we're reading scripture, when we're looking
to God, we wanna take parts of his instruction, the
(11:46):
parts that are okay with us in that season or
in that circumstance, but we don't wanna take sometimes the
fullness of what's being said, the fullness of what God
is saying that he will do.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And he reminded me.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
That his word is always true and when he speaks,
when he speaks.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
That I can trust what he says.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
And if I would have trusted twenty years ago that
he was going to do exactly what he said, but.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
He was going to do it when.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
When he chose, and I postured myself to be okay
with that, that life would have looked a lot differently
for me because I would have waited differently. I would
have chose differently, I would have prayed differently. I would
have worshiped and praised differently. Not from a place a
(12:48):
feeling forgotten, not from a place a feeling ashamed, but
a place of knowing that God is not a liar,
and God's going to do what he says.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
He's going to do every single time, because He's God.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
And I'm sharing this with you because there is something
about us just remaining and allowing his words. Remember what
I read? What was that in John fifteen? I think
it was verse seven? His words remain in me when
(13:23):
his words remain in us?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yes, verse seven.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Can I tell you something?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Had I let God's word, not the circumstances, not the fear,
not the doubt, not the questioning, not the embarrassment, not
the shame, not other people's thoughts and words, and what
they thought I should do, thought I should be, with
(14:02):
the choices they thought I should make. If I was
just straight, allowing God's word and his words to remain
at me, then I truly believe I would not have
been deceived disappointed. I would not have experienced certain seasons
(14:28):
of wilderness in certain seasons of being deceived. I just
truly believe that. And what that boils down to is
I was not dependent at that time, willingly dependent on
God to be lord over my life and God to
be a father to me. And as a result, I
(14:51):
experienced things that were tough in heart to digest and
tough to wrap my mind around at a certain times,
and frustration and temptation and all of the things. And
I want to in this season with not just the
(15:16):
question are you dependent on God? Are you co dependent
on him? But if you are not, why? And if
you think you are, does that resonate with your lifestyle
(15:38):
and your choices? Do you sleep peacefully at night?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Are you allowing circumstances to still joy from you?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Are you coveting what your neighbor or your friend has
because you don't think that God is going to do
it for you too. So we start taking on things
like imposter syndrome. We love to talk about imposter syndrome
and comparison, but really it's coveting. And the Bible tells
us straight up do not covet and this is why.
(16:11):
And now we've getting ourselves a whole syndrome of this.
But it's really the competition and the comparison to look
at the right and to the left instead of looking
straight ahead right or shall I say straight up to
our father in heaven to remind us of who he
is and what he has allready spoken, you know? John
(16:35):
fifteen also says, when Jesus spoke, I love this. I
love when Jesus just be out here straight speaking.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I mean, he says, and.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Y'all, I've read this passage how many times and still
I'm just like, why have I not heard it that
way before? But verse three says you are already clean
because of the word I have spoken to you.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Can you for a second, for those that.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Are walking around ashamed, for those that are walking around
carrying years of bad choices, bad relationships, bad decisions, those things,
can you just receive the fact that Jesus, Lord and Savior,
you know, the one that we just sat back and
(17:28):
honored all day on Sunday that listen, the Easter outfits
were cute.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I didn't post.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Any I had online, But you know what, I just
wasn't on my phone like.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That during Holy Week.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Honestly, I just wasn't on my phone like that. I
just was with my husband preparing for a little one.
But can I tell you something, when we sat back
and just thought about the goodness of God, for the
goodness of who he is, the goodness.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
And the the the humility.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And the grace and the mercy, can we not forget
his mercy, So for that savior to tell me you
are already clean because of the word I have spoken
to you. How dare I think anything different? How dare
(18:29):
I believe anything different? How dare I act any other
way other than I have been cleaned by the blood
of the Lamb. How dare I try to do life
without first seeking Him first?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
How how dare I so as we in this this
season and go on to new things.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I also wanted to announce things and also tell you
guys with me going on attorney leave where you also
can just follow along, of course if you are already
follow along on social media and you know I am
k Watts and the k Wats podcast of course on Instagram,
But if you haven't already followed at Saint Graycing Co,
(19:32):
I really want you to because there is a focus
and a a mission that I have in this season
for the upcoming Saint Gracing Company and we are heading
to Washington, DC, and I am so excited about this,
And I got to tell you that I've just been
(19:52):
so intentional about doing a lot of the behind the
scenes planning as I before I got further along into
the pregnancy, because I really wan to be able to
be present for when my little girl comes. But I
also understood that the Lord had still given me something
to stuart. So I wanted to ensure that things were
in place and set up for you guys that are
(20:14):
going to be coming and attending, and also already praying
for the theme and the word and the speakers and
all those are coming.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
And the Lord told me very clearly that this.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Year's say Gracing Company theme is actually about Thanksgiving. And
I was like, okay, God like Thanksgiving Thanksgiving, because we
are having it in the fall, but not in November.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
It's happening in October.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
And he distinctly told me that the women would be
coming sharing testimonials of things. And I'm so excited about this.
And I say this because that is where I'm going
to be doing a lot more announcing and just keeping
up with the community. So if you are not already
(21:05):
subscribed to sagraysonco dot com, definitely head over there. If
you are not following on Instagram, definitely head over there
because we are going to be doing some announcements over
the next couple of months.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Letting you know who the speakers are gonna be.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I've just announced what the theme is for this year's event,
and it's going to be one big thank you in
the room. And I want you to understand when I
say that, I don't say it lightly. I'm not saying
it cheesy. But there is just a season of just
saying thank you God. Actually, I don't even know if
that's seasonal. I think that's eternal. Thank you God. You
(21:42):
know that there will be a praise that happens. There
is just thanksgiving when we enter into His courts with
praise and thanksgiving. And I just believe that that is
where we are right now. It is a time for
us to truly just celebrate the fact that the Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ dwells with us, and he tells
(22:07):
us that he wants us to bear much for root.
So this is the time that we just need to
sit and remain in him. And I am super excited
to be able to witness all of these testimonials that
are going to come from this time of dwelling and
this time of just sitting with him, and this time
(22:27):
allowing him just to restore you and to reveal to
you the.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Mysteries that He has for you.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
And I'm just looking forward to seeing what happens in
DC this October. So I definitely just want to let
you know that we do have some exciting things that
are coming up there and that's where you should definitely
look to find me while I'm on attorney break. Definitely
catch up there. So guys, I just listen. I love
(22:56):
you so much and I'm so grateful for you. Just
follow and along in this optim season, like I've said before, and.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I just look forward to see what.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
God is gonna continuously do, not just throughout the podcast,
but really throughout the posture of what this is. There's
just something special about sharing and celebrating what God has
done and that he's currently doing in our lives. And
(23:30):
I don't take it lightly that he allows me to
ask women these questions. I don't take it lightly that
He presents these questions to me and to you and
that we get to discuss them or we get to
just to have sitting time with him to go through it.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
But I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I'm gonna pray for you, and I'm gonna gonna put
my feet up y'all. So Father God a name of Jesus,
I just thank you, Lord, I thank you right now.
For this time that we've had this season that it's been, Lord,
that you have just stretched us in ways and encouraged
just in ways, that we just had time with you
just to reflect and to repent and to rest. Lord,
(24:09):
we just thank you for your kindness, for your patience.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
With us, for you continuously to edify us, to draw
us closer to you. Lord.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
We just thank you for every single life that's been
touched by this podcast this season, and every single life
that's just been touched by you eternally. Lord, thank you
for allowing us just to hear from you. Thank you
for allowing us to dwell with you, and thank you
for dwelling with us. We honor you, and we praise
you and your son's name, Jesus a man.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Guys. Oh my goodness, Well, y'all, that is a rap.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
That is a wrap for this season. I love y'all
so so much. And until next time, I just told
you where to find me. But until next time, I
want you to be blessed.
Hey guys, welcome to the KWATS Podcast. I'm your host
Kashawan Watson, but you know me as KWATS. This is
the place where we chat about the questions that we
ask God. You share testimonials around healing, homeleness, and forgiveness,
and I'm super excited that you're joining us here today.
At the end of this episode, make sure you give
us a like, share, subscribe again.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
Welcome to the k WATS podcast.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Hey guys, welcome to an all new episode of the
k WATS Podcast. I'm your host Kashan Watson, but you
know me as KAWATS, and I am super excited about
this week's episode, y'all. I mean, we have made it
through the team season. I say the OOP team because
it really feels that way. But this is the season finale, guys,
I am going on maternity leave. That's right for all
(00:48):
of the pregnant mamas out there that you understand that
at a certain point the breathing, the breathing becomes tough.
So I've been I'm very, very intentional with just setting
some time aside just to put my feet up and
rest until the arrival of baby girl. And I appreciate
(01:08):
all you guys's prayers and support during this my time
of rest and going into motherhood. But while we go
ahead and prepare for that, I just wanted to do
I don't want to say a conclusion episode, but I
definitely feel like just to wrap up this season and
where we are the questions we're asking the Lord in
(01:30):
this season that it just really brought me to let's say,
scripture reference John fifteen. Let's go John fifteen, verse five.
I am the vine, and you are the branches. If
you remain in me and I in you, you will
(01:52):
wear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing.
If you do not remain in me. You are like
a branch that is thrown away and wilders. Such branches
are picked up, thrown into the fire.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
And burned.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
This is to my father's glory that you bear much
fruit showing yourselves to be my disciples.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
Now this is a different approach, but I feel like,
as we conclude this season and we're asking questions, I
gotta tell you that when I was preparing for the
conclusion episode and I was kind of like, Lord, well,
what would you like me to talk about? You know
what question have I been talking to you about that
I haven't really brought to the podcast or brought to
(02:53):
this platform. And if I'm honest, of course, during the
season of pregnancy or just in this season of being
in my late thirties, one of the things that I
really had to admit, and I say admit, confess, and
that I also have to repent because there is a difference,
right I can admit something that I'm aware of something,
(03:15):
but then there's a difference between me actually repenting of
the thing and you know, turning away from it and
turning towards the Lord. And one of the things was
being I don't know if the word is afraid of
being unwilling or embarrassed to admit that I was one
(03:40):
hundred and twenty thousand percent dependent on the Lord one
hundred and twenty thousand percent. And I don't think it
was until this season and stage of my life to
where I just put my hands up and said, I act.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Like there is no stre.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
There is no perfect situation. I know the buzzword is community,
but there's no community group that's going to get me
through this. It is only by me dwelling and abiding
in the presence of God. It is only by me
seeking his face every single day. And that brought me
to the question of the week, which is are you
(04:25):
okay being dependent on God? And I actually was looking
up the definition of codependency because in my mind, I'm
like being dependent on the Lord. But then in my
mind I'm like, okay, well, God doesn't like you know,
we have this thought that God doesn't really need me
like he could.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
He's God, he's sovereign, he doesn't need me.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
It's an honor that he would even use me, trust me,
put breath in my lungs, like there is an honor
that He just chose to create me and to give
me life and give me life daily and all the
things and all the different nuances and facets.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Of this life.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
But when I go back and I read this contact
the scripture, when I'm reading John fifteen, I just let's
just you want to know what, Let's go up to
John fifteen.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Let's go to verse one.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
I've ever started a verse five, but like, let's bring
it back. Let's go to verse one. I am the
true vibe, and my father is the gardener. He cuts
off every branch in me that bears no fruit. Well,
every branch that does bear fruit, he proves so that
it would be even more fruitful. You are already clean
because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain
(05:45):
in me as I also remain in you. This can
I tell you. I've never I've read this scripture so
many times. I have hurt this passage so many times,
and I never looked at this passage as basically Jesus
(06:07):
telling telling his disciples.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
You have to be dependent on me.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
As I am dwelling in you. You can do nothing.
He didn't say some things. He said, you could do
nothing apart for me. That means even in the middle school,
things that I think that I've been able to do
on my own, and maybe back in the day that
(06:36):
that could be academics. You know, if I started study
hard enough, I'm gonna be able to get the best
grades and the degree and the best jobs and all.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
The benefits that come with that, you know.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
And I could chalk this up to where I studied
hard enough that I was smart enough that I sat
next to the right person in class.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
I always showed to sit next to the smartest people
in the room.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
That's just a note.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
That I would excel. And it took me a long
time just to be able to.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Accept that the Lord planted me in every single room,
next to every single person. It has always been by
his design. And I think that there was a time
where I just wasn't willing to admit and I wasn't
willing to receive that I am reliant on the Lord
(07:38):
to provide me, to protect me, to perfect every good
work inside of me. I just wasn't honest about it.
And I used to come up with five step plans
and two year goals and all the things. So half
(08:02):
this moment to where, you know, as we do, I think,
as we get older and life goes in different ways,
and we don't really understand all the different ways that
God does things, or shall I say, all the different winds,
because that is something that I recently had to remind
(08:25):
myself that the prayer that we pray.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
That says.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
Not my will, but Your will be done on earth
as it is in Heaven is not just pertaining to
me relinquishing the way I want God to do something,
but it's also me relinquishing when God does it and
for so long, I think that I would completely take
(08:52):
out the wind.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I would say, you know what, God, that's right, do
it your way.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
I don't need it my way, but if you could
just do your way on my timeline.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
That would be perfect.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
And I was reminded recently, like, yeah, that's not how
it works.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
His way also means his win.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
His timeline is included in his will because he's sovereign,
so I don't get to say when he does something,
because even that is a form of control. And when
I am connected to him, when I abide in him,
then I can trust in his way and I can
(09:34):
trust in his timing. But it took me some time
to really really understand that. And people may say, oh,
well it's easy, it's easier said. I know, singles can say, well,
it's easier said when you're married. I know people that
are waiting to become moms can say, well, it's easier
said when you're pregnant. And this is what I will
(09:55):
say to that I had shared at my baby shower
a couple of weeks ago, and I had shared the
fact that when I was nineteen, I was given a.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
Prophetic word about.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
Me getting married, and this woman was letting me know
like that I was going to marry a pastor, and
I kind of felt like she was off. I was
gonna be honest, like even though I had known her,
she had never been off before. I just was like,
I don't I don't see that for me. If you
knew what I was about to do when I leave
out of here, you would not fake that I was
going to marry a pastor. Okay, that's where I was.
(10:32):
And she was describing him to describe what it looked like,
but described his character, describe who he was going to be.
Speaker 2 (10:41):
And then there was.
Speaker 1 (10:41):
One part that she said that I did not want
to hear at the time, and she actually said that
I see you having children and I see you getting
married and.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Having children older.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And when she said it, I am merely wanted to
rebuke it because it was something that I did not
want to receive. So the interesting part is that the
Lord reminded me of that prophetic word recently, and he
reminded me that I got that word twenty years ago.
(11:25):
Twenty years ago, I was given that word and I
did not want to receive it. I had completely thrown
it out of my mind, and I paid attention to
the other facets of the word, because that's what we
do sometimes, even when we're reading scripture, when we're looking
to God, we wanna take parts of his instruction, the
(11:46):
parts that are okay with us in that season or
in that circumstance, but we don't wanna take sometimes the
fullness of what's being said, the fullness of what God
is saying that he will do.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
And he reminded me.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
That his word is always true and when he speaks,
when he speaks.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
That I can trust what he says.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
And if I would have trusted twenty years ago that
he was going to do exactly what he said, but.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
He was going to do it when.
Speaker 1 (12:27):
When he chose, and I postured myself to be okay
with that, that life would have looked a lot differently
for me because I would have waited differently. I would
have chose differently, I would have prayed differently. I would
have worshiped and praised differently. Not from a place a
(12:48):
feeling forgotten, not from a place a feeling ashamed, but
a place of knowing that God is not a liar,
and God's going to do what he says.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
He's going to do every single time, because He's God.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
And I'm sharing this with you because there is something
about us just remaining and allowing his words. Remember what
I read? What was that in John fifteen? I think
it was verse seven? His words remain in me when
(13:23):
his words remain in us?
Speaker 2 (13:29):
Yes, verse seven.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Can I tell you something?
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Had I let God's word, not the circumstances, not the fear,
not the doubt, not the questioning, not the embarrassment, not
the shame, not other people's thoughts and words, and what
they thought I should do, thought I should be, with
(14:02):
the choices they thought I should make. If I was
just straight, allowing God's word and his words to remain
at me, then I truly believe I would not have
been deceived disappointed. I would not have experienced certain seasons
(14:28):
of wilderness in certain seasons of being deceived. I just
truly believe that. And what that boils down to is
I was not dependent at that time, willingly dependent on
God to be lord over my life and God to
be a father to me. And as a result, I
(14:51):
experienced things that were tough in heart to digest and
tough to wrap my mind around at a certain times,
and frustration and temptation and all of the things. And
I want to in this season with not just the
(15:16):
question are you dependent on God? Are you co dependent
on him? But if you are not, why? And if
you think you are, does that resonate with your lifestyle
(15:38):
and your choices? Do you sleep peacefully at night?
Speaker 2 (15:45):
Are you allowing circumstances to still joy from you?
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Are you coveting what your neighbor or your friend has
because you don't think that God is going to do
it for you too. So we start taking on things
like imposter syndrome. We love to talk about imposter syndrome
and comparison, but really it's coveting. And the Bible tells
us straight up do not covet and this is why.
(16:11):
And now we've getting ourselves a whole syndrome of this.
But it's really the competition and the comparison to look
at the right and to the left instead of looking
straight ahead right or shall I say straight up to
our father in heaven to remind us of who he
is and what he has allready spoken, you know? John
(16:35):
fifteen also says, when Jesus spoke, I love this. I
love when Jesus just be out here straight speaking.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I mean, he says, and.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Y'all, I've read this passage how many times and still
I'm just like, why have I not heard it that
way before? But verse three says you are already clean
because of the word I have spoken to you.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Can you for a second, for those that.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Are walking around ashamed, for those that are walking around
carrying years of bad choices, bad relationships, bad decisions, those things,
can you just receive the fact that Jesus, Lord and Savior,
you know, the one that we just sat back and
(17:28):
honored all day on Sunday that listen, the Easter outfits
were cute.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
I didn't post.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Any I had online, But you know what, I just
wasn't on my phone like.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
That during Holy Week.
Speaker 1 (17:41):
Honestly, I just wasn't on my phone like that. I
just was with my husband preparing for a little one.
But can I tell you something, when we sat back
and just thought about the goodness of God, for the
goodness of who he is, the goodness.
Speaker 2 (17:56):
And the the the humility.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
And the grace and the mercy, can we not forget
his mercy, So for that savior to tell me you
are already clean because of the word I have spoken
to you. How dare I think anything different? How dare
(18:29):
I believe anything different? How dare I act any other
way other than I have been cleaned by the blood
of the Lamb. How dare I try to do life
without first seeking Him first?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
How how dare I so as we in this this
season and go on to new things.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
I also wanted to announce things and also tell you
guys with me going on attorney leave where you also
can just follow along, of course if you are already
follow along on social media and you know I am
k Watts and the k Wats podcast of course on Instagram,
But if you haven't already followed at Saint Graycing Co,
(19:32):
I really want you to because there is a focus
and a a mission that I have in this season
for the upcoming Saint Gracing Company and we are heading
to Washington, DC, and I am so excited about this,
And I got to tell you that I've just been
(19:52):
so intentional about doing a lot of the behind the
scenes planning as I before I got further along into
the pregnancy, because I really wan to be able to
be present for when my little girl comes. But I
also understood that the Lord had still given me something
to stuart. So I wanted to ensure that things were
in place and set up for you guys that are
(20:14):
going to be coming and attending, and also already praying
for the theme and the word and the speakers and
all those are coming.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
And the Lord told me very clearly that this.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Year's say Gracing Company theme is actually about Thanksgiving. And
I was like, okay, God like Thanksgiving Thanksgiving, because we
are having it in the fall, but not in November.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
It's happening in October.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
And he distinctly told me that the women would be
coming sharing testimonials of things. And I'm so excited about this.
And I say this because that is where I'm going
to be doing a lot more announcing and just keeping
up with the community. So if you are not already
(21:05):
subscribed to sagraysonco dot com, definitely head over there. If
you are not following on Instagram, definitely head over there
because we are going to be doing some announcements over
the next couple of months.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Letting you know who the speakers are gonna be.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I've just announced what the theme is for this year's event,
and it's going to be one big thank you in
the room. And I want you to understand when I
say that, I don't say it lightly. I'm not saying
it cheesy. But there is just a season of just
saying thank you God. Actually, I don't even know if
that's seasonal. I think that's eternal. Thank you God. You
(21:42):
know that there will be a praise that happens. There
is just thanksgiving when we enter into His courts with
praise and thanksgiving. And I just believe that that is
where we are right now. It is a time for
us to truly just celebrate the fact that the Lord
and Savior Jesus Christ dwells with us, and he tells
(22:07):
us that he wants us to bear much for root.
So this is the time that we just need to
sit and remain in him. And I am super excited
to be able to witness all of these testimonials that
are going to come from this time of dwelling and
this time of just sitting with him, and this time
(22:27):
allowing him just to restore you and to reveal to
you the.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Mysteries that He has for you.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
And I'm just looking forward to seeing what happens in
DC this October. So I definitely just want to let
you know that we do have some exciting things that
are coming up there and that's where you should definitely
look to find me while I'm on attorney break. Definitely
catch up there. So guys, I just listen. I love
(22:56):
you so much and I'm so grateful for you. Just
follow and along in this optim season, like I've said before, and.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
I just look forward to see what.
Speaker 1 (23:07):
God is gonna continuously do, not just throughout the podcast,
but really throughout the posture of what this is. There's
just something special about sharing and celebrating what God has
done and that he's currently doing in our lives. And
(23:30):
I don't take it lightly that he allows me to
ask women these questions. I don't take it lightly that
He presents these questions to me and to you and
that we get to discuss them or we get to
just to have sitting time with him to go through it.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
But I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
I'm gonna pray for you, and I'm gonna gonna put
my feet up y'all. So Father God a name of Jesus,
I just thank you, Lord, I thank you right now.
For this time that we've had this season that it's been, Lord,
that you have just stretched us in ways and encouraged
just in ways, that we just had time with you
just to reflect and to repent and to rest. Lord,
(24:09):
we just thank you for your kindness, for your patience.
Speaker 2 (24:13):
With us, for you continuously to edify us, to draw
us closer to you. Lord.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
We just thank you for every single life that's been
touched by this podcast this season, and every single life
that's just been touched by you eternally. Lord, thank you
for allowing us just to hear from you. Thank you
for allowing us to dwell with you, and thank you
for dwelling with us. We honor you, and we praise
you and your son's name, Jesus a man.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Guys. Oh my goodness, Well, y'all, that is a rap.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
That is a wrap for this season. I love y'all
so so much. And until next time, I just told
you where to find me. But until next time, I
want you to be blessed.
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