August 8, 2024 • 39 mins
Are you clear in your testimony? with Kashawn Watson In this episode of "The Kay Wats Podcast", Kay shares how she's identified her testimony, not being consumed with overcoming sin but declaring how Jesus did. Kay offers insight into the impact shame has had in her ability to steward well and the revelation she received when surrounding to the Lord.
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, Welcome to the k Watts Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
k Watts and I'm super excited that you decided to
join me today. This is the podcast where we chat
about the questions we ask God.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We shared testimonials about.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Healing, wholeness, and forgiveness. It doesn't matter what season of
life you may be in or the journey you may
be currently walking through. I know that this podcast will
bless you. At the end of the episode. If you
feel like that this has done exactly what I said,
definitely hit that like button, comment, share, don't forget to
subscribe again.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Welcome to the k wats Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey guys, welcome to an all new episode of the
k Watts Podcast. I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you
know me as KA Watts, and I am excited to
have you guys back this week. Yes, yes, yes, if
you guys have been tuning in and you know that
I've been really embracing these solo episodes. I did have
my husband, my love bug, Brandon Watson on a couple
of weeks back, but I've been really really embracing just
(01:03):
being able to share with you kind of like the
questions and conversations I'm personally having with God and recent
revelations that come out of those conversations and questions, And
this week I felt like we should keep this string going.
You know, do not stop a moving drain. Okay, that
wasn't like this full on revelation. That was just me
(01:25):
just saying a choot ch you. Okay, so question of
the week. H So, to be honest with you.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
The thought of.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
What I was going to talk about this week at
first was I was a little bit like, have I
covered that topic before? Like one of the things if
you are a content creator that I think a lot
of us can relate to is that when you're a
content creator, you really don't want to regurgitate.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
The same content that you put out before.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Because it can be quote unquote perceived as that you
didn't have.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Anything new to share, so you were lazy.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And just I'm gonna talk about the same thing, or
maybe even the aspect of I wasn't given any further
revelation on anything, so I'm just going to keep reposting
the same thing that was good from last weeks, last year's,
last month's revelation. But this is the thing that I've
learned about. When the Scripture tells us to renew our mind,
(02:37):
you can go into God's word and you can sit
with him, and it could seem as.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Though it is the same topic, the same question.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And you can have a whole new perspective after you
leave out of that quiet time with the Lord, after
you leave out of that meditation on his word. Because
that's what the Holy Spirit does. It matures us, it
edifies us, it counsels us. So the question that I
(03:10):
feel like that i'm bringing up, or the question that
I am presenting to you guys, that I actually was
talking to the Lord about.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Isn't a question that really was new.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It just was something that I was kind of like, Hey,
I never looked at it that way before, and now
I have. So this week I did a little bit
of studying, and during my studying, the word that kept
coming up was steadfast. And I'm gonna be fully transparent.
(03:44):
I'm super embarrassed to say this, but I'm just gonna
be real with y'all and tell you this is what
really happened. When I get like words that come up
in my mind and I know it's the Holy Spirit
prompting me to study the word, to really start engaging
with what the definition of this word is. The next
(04:06):
thing that comes into my mind is kind of like ooh,
like what would be a good tagline for this for content?
And it was so funny because this week I was
kind of like in a space of like, nothing really
rhymes with steadfast. Oh, this is where we are, this
is where we are, and this is why I'm like,
(04:27):
Holy Spirit real tore me this year because the fact
that my mind would even go to what would rhyme
good with the word Okay, this is just not where
I want to be. Okay, but that was the word
that came up for me this week. It was steadfast.
(04:48):
And I'll be honest with you. And these last kind
of like couple of months have been extremely busy for me.
And if I'm completely transparent, I haven't been this busy
in years. And when I say in years, I mean
probably five to seven years. It's crazy to think that
(05:09):
twenty twenty, when everyone I think was in a posture
of just being seated and quiet, was you know, over
four years ago, like basically about to be five years ago.
So when I think about the amount of work and
constantly going and moving. It has been quite some time,
(05:30):
and your girl's been winded. Okay, she's been a little
bit winded. And you want to know why this is
even more? Like? Wow? This I expected more because during
the entire time when I was resting and supposed to
be sitting, I was complaining about not being busy. And
(05:51):
there is something Listen, I've been talking about this for
a while. There's something that I will never take for
granted again, and it's.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Rest never the Lord. I pray that I.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Remember this moment right now that I will never take
for granted a time in a season when the Lord
prompts me to rest, when he tells me to sit down,
when he tells.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Me to allow.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
My body, my mind, my soul to be restored, you
will not get any complaints out of me. You will
There is no rebuttal, there is no feedback there there
none of that is happening because I have learned that
resting really does restore you in such a way that
(06:41):
when it's time to quote unquote get busy, when it's
time to get back into the groove of the busy season,
you no longer feel like wow, tired because you've been
because you've been resting. So this is when I know
(07:02):
if I was resting. Well, this is how I know
that during times when God told me to sit down,
that I still have my mind worrying. Because now when
it's time to go and use my mind, if it
feels lethargic, if it feels weary, it's because I was
not resting when I should have been resting.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Instead, I chose to worry.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And because I chose to worry, now in the season
when I need to be ready to Stewart, to sew
to show up, I am now begging for rest, and
I am reminded that the Lord said I gave you rest.
I will never never miss stewart or resting season ever again.
(07:48):
I will tell you that. And for anyone who is
listening that has been wrestling with rest, let me tell
you it is one of the biggest gifts that God
can give us. One of the biggest blessings that you
will receive is receiving rest from your Father. Embrace it,
(08:10):
accept it. Okay, So now back to the question the topic,
back to stewardship. I'm sorry, back to steadfast. This came
(08:36):
up in my mind and I want to kind of
like go through. When I looked up the definition of stewarts,
I want to keep, want to say stewardship, But when
I looked up the definition of step fast, there were
a slew of like different synonyms that actually.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Matched it.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
And I want to couple so that you kind of
like can just have a little bit of context about
what we're talking about here.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Okay, So.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Stewardship, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, steady.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
True, firm, single minded, resolute, unwavering, unyielding, like.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
These synonyms for steadfast is talking about committed, it's talking
about being single minded, it's.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Talking about like staying focused.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So of course when I am prompted with a word,
my next thought is like how does this apply?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
And where does the Lord want me to really.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Either showcase this in my life or is there some
areas where he's highlighting to where I'm not showcasing, Like
is this a corrective word for me? And I think
that that's where I've been this week is really just
discussing with the Lord. What being a steadfast disciple looks like,
(10:48):
what being a step fast believer looks like, What being
a stepfast business owner looks like? Like? Where can I
apply this word in my life and how does it
hold up to the synonyms and the definitions? How does commitment?
How does resolute? How does unwavering? How does single minded?
(11:13):
How does firm?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
True?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Like?
Speaker 3 (11:15):
How does it hold up?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
The question that I post to God with this was
have I been confused in thinking that striving was actually
being steadfast? I just I remember for years I felt
(11:54):
like I was toiling. And when you go back, can
you look at the definition and you look at the
synonyms of stepfast, toiling is not one of them. And
yet during seas is when I thought I was being steadfast,
I felt as though I was toiling because I wasn't
(12:14):
being steadfast. I was striving, I was performing, I was presenting.
I'm gonna say that again for the people in the
back during the times and season when I thought I
was being steadfast, I was not. I was striving, I
was performing, I was presenting. And for whatever reason, I
(12:39):
thought that that was me being committed, that I thought
that was me being single minded, But really it was
coming from a place of insecurity, lack of identity and assurety,
because in order to be stepfast you have to be
firm on what your foundation is.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
And if you are firm and what your foundation is,
then you.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Understand and recognize that driving is not the same thing
as being steadfast. Steadfast is a shorty, it's a posture,
whereas those striving comes in with accolades and achievements and
(13:22):
uh check marks on goals and lists and things like that.
And I felt as though that the Lord was really
working out in me that in this season where I
see my life being busier, where there's a little there's
(13:42):
a little or a lot more action happening, that it
can be extremely easy to fall back into the familiar.
It can be easy to go back into what you
did before to maintain.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Your striving.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But I love God so much because He loves me
so much to where he brings revelation to me. And
I'm sure to you that when you ask to have
a mind like Christ, and when you ask in your
prayers like Lord, mature me in a way so that
I don't go back into old patterns, that I don't
(14:22):
result back into old ways and having to keep up
with the presentation or a perception or a performance, even
in the good things, even in the things that you're
blessed me. And even in the answer prayers, like I
don't want to keep up with presenting all of all
of the answer prayers that I'm even receiving, Like sometimes
(14:43):
we can do that, we have to present it in
such a way to where it shows that we are
actually in alignment and walking with the Lord. And it's like,
you could just be firm, you could just be unwayed,
you could just be committed, and that is more than enough.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
So in this season, as.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I am producing more, as I am counseling more, as
I am ministring more, as I am managing more, I
am reminded that the enemy would love to get me
back into the old pattern and the familiar way of
doing this.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
The enemy would love.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
To get me back into a pattern of performing and
presenting and focusing on the perception and all of these things.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And the Holy Spirit just.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Comes upon me and tells me steadfast, Just be steadfast
and understand the difference, because the enemy loves to pervert
our minds and ways to believe something completely different about
(16:02):
what the word actually means.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
This is why.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Truly doing your due diligence. And when I say truly
doing your due diligence. That means praying, that means seeking,
That means opening up your word in scripture and truly
having the definition of what terms mean as it relates
to you and what the Lord.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Is asking of you in a season.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Because if you are leaning to your own understanding of
what you think the requirement is. If you're even leaning
to your own understanding of what you think a definition
of a word is, it's probably a ten out of
ten fam that that is completely off course and incorrect.
(16:48):
And if the enemy can get you in a loophole,
a loophole, sometimes I think that this is this is
something that we don't really taken consider when we hear
a lot of the spiritual jargon, and you hear it repeatedly,
and you yourself may even repeat it, but not having
(17:09):
like full on revelation on what it is. If the
enemy can get you in a loophole, then I'm reminded
of the Israelites when they kept going around and around
like a loop. It was a loop, a stronghold, a cycle,
a circle, it's a stronghold. So if the enemy can
(17:35):
get you going around and around and around and around,
believing the lie and making you feel as though that
you're doing the thing that God told you to do,
the way in which he told you to do it,
then you will keep going around and around and around.
But this is why the Bible tells is to lean
(17:56):
not to our own understanding. This is why the Bible
tells us to seek first the Kingdom of God, and
everything else will be added to us.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
And that is.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Including understanding, that is including wisdom. I was reading a passage.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
You guys, if you've been follow long, then.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
You know that I've been in Old Testament for a
while and I'm still there.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Don't judge me like I know. I'm supposed to be
finishing the whole Bible in a year, and.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I've been moving like a snail on this. But even
in my move of a snail, I feel as though
that it's just been so I opening to me, like
what I've been saying. But I was reading the passage
when the Lord was speaking to David about the fact
that his son Samuel was going to be a leader
(18:57):
of rest and peace, and because he was going to
be a leader of rest in peace, the Israelites would
experience rest in peace during his reign, and I thought
that was, like I just for a second, I thought
(19:19):
that was interesting. I thought it was interesting in the
climate that we're in right now, right but I thought
it was interesting the promise.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
That the Lord was making with David.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
He was letting David know that what you're thinking that
you're gonna achieve in the fullness of your life, that
you're not. But I'm still gonna keep my promise. And
your son Samuel is going to and he will not
be a warring leader. That's not his testimony, that's not
his portion. He will actually be a leader of rest
(19:51):
in peace, and the Israelites will experience rest in peace.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
During his reign.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
And I'm reminded that when there's a transition that happens
when God is doing a new thing and he is
anointing and appointing another leader, that there is a promise
attached to that. And this is God somewhere completely different
(20:30):
than I thought I was gonna go. So I'm just
asking the Holy Spirit to help me here. But as
I was reading this passage, I just kind of like
was reminded that God's goodness and his faithfulness and his
(20:50):
mercy supersedes our lifetime, It supersedes our generation, Its supersede.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
The work of our own hands. This is why the
best thing we can do.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
As believers, as daughters, as Christians, as disciples is follow
Jesus and believe what God has said. Because the things
that we think that we may achieve, and then time
(21:31):
and we think that we may do it.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
It may not go that way. But the Lord keeps
his word.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
So if he's made a promise, he is faithful and
he will keep it. So strive isn't something that I
hear the Lord for me in this season? And I
say for me because I don't always assume that every
(22:11):
single word that the Lord has given to me that
he's given to others. I think that as children we
have ears to hear him. And I think as someone
who is really leaning into discipling, you know, other believers,
I would be a miss to not say. I would
(22:31):
ask God what is he saying this season is for you?
Because maybe this is your resting season. Maybe God isn't
giving you this big pop project to launch in this season,
and maybe God hasn't said that he wants you to
(22:51):
do an announcement for something this season. Maybe God is saying, hey,
I want you to be quiet and sit with me
and take stocking inventory on where the body of Christ is.
Maybe that's your season, and I'm very mindful of that.
And I know that we're in a time in the
(23:12):
season where everybody says, this is the time, this is
the time that you need to open your mouth, this
is the.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Time that you listen. And I get it.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
But I think there is something so powerful when we
look at the life of Jesus. I look at two
separate times in which he was taunted and tempted. When
he was tempted by the enemy and the wilderness, and
the enemy said, well, if you are the son of God,
(23:46):
then turn the stone to bread, and Jesus responded back
to him with the word of God.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
But then I noticed that.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
When he was on his way to the cross and
had been captured and he was going to go be crucified,
he was mimicked and he was mocked, and he was taunted,
and he was told to defend himself, to prove that
if he was the Messiah, to get yourself down off
the cross, to do something, save yourself if you're really
(24:26):
the Messiah. And Jesus did not respond to them. He
interceded on our behalf to the Father.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So there was a time when he rebuked.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
There was a time when he was quiet, There was
a time when he interceded. There was times when he
just spoke to the father like this is like in
my mind. You may say, how do you know when
to do what? How do you know when to speak?
How do you know when to stay silent? How do
you know when to work? And I think the answer
(25:04):
is to be step fast and infirm in our faith
and being an image bearer of Christ. I think that
is our number one job. Everything else is not even
a slight second. It is possibly fourth and fifth on
the list of things. No matter how anointed you feel,
(25:31):
the business is listen, your first job is to be
an image bearer.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
And I am reminded. I'm reminded.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I'm also reminded that when it gets hard, and when
it gets tough, and when I'm tired and when I'm weak,
I'm remembered that he is faithful, and he is strong,
and he is sovereign. When I highlight all the things
in myself like this is the thing. I can highlight
(26:21):
all of these characteristics where I struggle within myself, and
I can call that being super transparent and vulnerable, like hey,
I don't want to be too haughty. I'm being like,
let me just humble myself, like I'm tired, I'm weak,
I'm struggling.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
But this is the great thing about God.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Is that He's given us his word to know exactly
who he is, and he tells us to declare who
he is more.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Than highlight who we are. God doesn't tell us to
thank you, Holy Spirit. He just called me.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I literally was gonna say, he doesn't tell us to
boast about our weaknesses. But I believe it was apostile
Paul that said, as I'm being persecuted as a like,
I'm gonna boast about my weaknesses because it keeps me humble.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
This is why it's so important to make sure that
you know your scripture. And I just want to think
the Holy Spirit for correcting me, like before it even
came out of my mouth. But I want to be
transparent with you that sometimes we can just keep reciting
our own rhetoric and we can truly believe what we're saying.
But you wanna know what, when the Holy Spirit corrects
you and he prompts you to say what the correction is,
(27:37):
say what the correction is? Don't hold it to yourself.
Don't keep it like it's like little snack.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
No no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
The gift of the Holy Spirit that lives on the
inside of us acts as a comforter, It acts as
a corrector, It acts to edify us.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
And that was my weakness right there.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
And I'm gonna boast about it, because may God always
get the glory out of my story and every single
one of our stories in every single season, in every
single situation, no matter the smaller the big, no matter
the smaller the big. The other thing that I really
wanted to share before I wrapped this episode up was
(28:20):
I had this other thought that it came to my mind,
and it was in relation to.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Stewardship.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
That's probably why I kept saying it before in the
beginning of the episode, because that has been something that's
been on my heart, probably like for the last four months.
Is just stewarting and how the Lord has had me
Stewart the seed of say Grace for so long, and
just other seeds that he's had me stuart for a while.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Rather it's relationships, or rather it is.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Prayer request that I have for other people and my
family or my friends but I wanna say this to
someone and and and maybe this is for you, or.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
It is very hard.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I'm speaking from personal experience here. It is very hard
to steward something well when you are ashamed of how
it started. It's very hard to steward something wholeheartedly.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
With humility when you are carrying the shame.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Of what the testimony actually is. And let me say this,
sometimes you really really highlight that overcoming sin is our testimony.
(30:03):
And maybe that falls in with a form of addiction,
maybe it falls in with a certain characters, ah W.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Whatever it may be for you.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I think sometimes it has worked against us in our confidence,
but also in our ability to be committed and step
fast because we have walked and carried a testimony of
overcoming sin. And I'm gonna be real with you, I
(30:35):
haven't overcome sin. It was the blood that was shed
on Calvary the absolved my sins. So I don't have
a testimony of overcoming sin overcoming certain things. What I
(30:56):
do have is a testimony of declaring and sharing the
Gospel of Jesus, because it was by his blood and
is by his blood that all of our sins were
forgiven so that we may be right in the eyes
of the Father. And I really feel as though that
(31:18):
there are people that have been struggling with stewarding something well,
because the entire testimony is wrapped around them overcoming sin.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
So when they get triggered, when they.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Fall back into old habits, it is as if the
entire testimony has fallen to the ground. It is no
longer a testimony. I am back at square one, and
it is.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
A lie and the trick of the enemy. And I
want to be clear on this. The lie.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Began when we thought that the testimony was that the
fact that we overcame this in.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Even us saying.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
That I like, I like, we have to be very
mindful in the w the verbiage that we say, because
the more we say it, the more we begin to
believe it and it and and in some instances it
can be just very flippant, like we're not thinking, oh,
because I've worded it this way, that there is some
(32:34):
level of e I don't wanna use the word error,
but the but that's just what I feel like. There's
a level of error in the way in which that
we are communicating freedom, because where the spirit of the
Lord is, there is freedom that men can't heal you spiritually,
(32:57):
God does. We are not our own saviors.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
We are not.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
And that goes for the most anointed people ever. Okay,
if you're looking at John the Baptist in the Bible,
you know the man that baptized Jesus. Even when John
the Baptist, when Jesus asked him for him to baptize him,
John the Baptist was thrown okay, like who am I?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
And Jesus said that you are to do it so that.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
The word may be fulfilled, the word, the promise, you know,
the sacrifice, the coming of Christ, like our salvation. So
I just want to really preface those that are struggling
(33:55):
with storying well because they are ruggling to identify what
the testimony is when they still feel as though they
are struggling with sin and sin. Well, first and foremost,
I want to say that God has forgiven you because
(34:17):
of Jesus when you accepted him. That's one. Two. I
want to say, if you have not gone before the
Father to repent, do so because he loves you and
(34:38):
he wants you to surrender the burden, because he wants
you to walk in the freedom that he has given
you through his son, that you don't have to strive
for his love. You don't even have to strive to
(34:59):
be free. How many of us have tried to strive
our way into freedom. But that was the whole purpose
of Jesus being sent. That is the gospel, that was
(35:22):
the point of resurrection. And lastly, I just really want
to say, when it comes to our testimony, our testimony
is that he is the Son of God and that
(35:42):
he died for our sins and arose again so that
we might have eternal life. And when we believe that,
we represent that and we walk in freedom of that.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
That is the testimony period.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And that's what the Lord is asking us to be
committed to and unwavering in, and not to be double
minded in our ways in the way in which that
we try to walk that thing out, be encouraged, be resolute,
(36:36):
be firm in the foundation of who your Father is.
His grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient. So as
we close this episode, I'm just gonna pray thank you.
(37:02):
I thank you for your unwavering and everlasting love that
you have given to me into all of your children.
I thank you for sending your son on our behalf
that we may know you and be able to spend
the rest of our lives with you. I thank you
(37:26):
for going before us. I thank you for sending the
Holy Spirit to edify us.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I thank you for.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Drowning out the noise, silent scene, the familiar.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
That we may know you deeper.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Thank you for loving us, thank you for holding us,
thank you for forgiving us, thank you for choosing us,
and thank you for calling us by name. You're good,
(38:21):
you are holy, and we honor you, and we.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Will worship you in Jesus' name. We pray.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Amen, Amen, Amen. Wow. Wow.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
When I tell you, I have just been loving these
episodes this season, I'm just loving what God is doing
in me so that I'm able to mature in a
way that i can show up for you, not my
my own strength and my own power, but by His spirit.
(39:05):
And I'm grateful that you have been tuning in every
single week. Thank you so much for liking, subscribing, and
sharing this podcast. Definitely, if you are not already, head
over to Instagram at imkwats for our personal and at
k wats Podcasts for the professional page. Definitely come say hello.
(39:27):
I respond to all of my DMS. I'm super excited
for next week's episode. We do have our I don't
want to say our first guest.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I do count Brandon, but our first guest of.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
This season is gonna be on next week, So definitely
make sure that you guys tune in until next week.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Be blessed,
Hey guys, Welcome to the k Watts Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
k Watts and I'm super excited that you decided to
join me today. This is the podcast where we chat
about the questions we ask God.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We shared testimonials about.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Healing, wholeness, and forgiveness. It doesn't matter what season of
life you may be in or the journey you may
be currently walking through. I know that this podcast will
bless you. At the end of the episode. If you
feel like that this has done exactly what I said,
definitely hit that like button, comment, share, don't forget to
subscribe again.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Welcome to the k wats Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Hey guys, welcome to an all new episode of the
k Watts Podcast. I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you
know me as KA Watts, and I am excited to
have you guys back this week. Yes, yes, yes, if
you guys have been tuning in and you know that
I've been really embracing these solo episodes. I did have
my husband, my love bug, Brandon Watson on a couple
of weeks back, but I've been really really embracing just
(01:03):
being able to share with you kind of like the
questions and conversations I'm personally having with God and recent
revelations that come out of those conversations and questions, And
this week I felt like we should keep this string going.
You know, do not stop a moving drain. Okay, that
wasn't like this full on revelation. That was just me
(01:25):
just saying a choot ch you. Okay, so question of
the week. H So, to be honest with you.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
The thought of.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
What I was going to talk about this week at
first was I was a little bit like, have I
covered that topic before? Like one of the things if
you are a content creator that I think a lot
of us can relate to is that when you're a
content creator, you really don't want to regurgitate.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
The same content that you put out before.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
Because it can be quote unquote perceived as that you
didn't have.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Anything new to share, so you were lazy.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And just I'm gonna talk about the same thing, or
maybe even the aspect of I wasn't given any further
revelation on anything, so I'm just going to keep reposting
the same thing that was good from last weeks, last year's,
last month's revelation. But this is the thing that I've
learned about. When the Scripture tells us to renew our mind,
(02:37):
you can go into God's word and you can sit
with him, and it could seem as.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Though it is the same topic, the same question.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
And you can have a whole new perspective after you
leave out of that quiet time with the Lord, after
you leave out of that meditation on his word. Because
that's what the Holy Spirit does. It matures us, it
edifies us, it counsels us. So the question that I
(03:10):
feel like that i'm bringing up, or the question that
I am presenting to you guys, that I actually was
talking to the Lord about.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Isn't a question that really was new.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
It just was something that I was kind of like, Hey,
I never looked at it that way before, and now
I have. So this week I did a little bit
of studying, and during my studying, the word that kept
coming up was steadfast. And I'm gonna be fully transparent.
(03:44):
I'm super embarrassed to say this, but I'm just gonna
be real with y'all and tell you this is what
really happened. When I get like words that come up
in my mind and I know it's the Holy Spirit
prompting me to study the word, to really start engaging
with what the definition of this word is. The next
(04:06):
thing that comes into my mind is kind of like ooh,
like what would be a good tagline for this for content?
And it was so funny because this week I was
kind of like in a space of like, nothing really
rhymes with steadfast. Oh, this is where we are, this
is where we are, and this is why I'm like,
(04:27):
Holy Spirit real tore me this year because the fact
that my mind would even go to what would rhyme
good with the word Okay, this is just not where
I want to be. Okay, but that was the word
that came up for me this week. It was steadfast.
(04:48):
And I'll be honest with you. And these last kind
of like couple of months have been extremely busy for me.
And if I'm completely transparent, I haven't been this busy
in years. And when I say in years, I mean
probably five to seven years. It's crazy to think that
(05:09):
twenty twenty, when everyone I think was in a posture
of just being seated and quiet, was you know, over
four years ago, like basically about to be five years ago.
So when I think about the amount of work and
constantly going and moving. It has been quite some time,
(05:30):
and your girl's been winded. Okay, she's been a little
bit winded. And you want to know why this is
even more? Like? Wow? This I expected more because during
the entire time when I was resting and supposed to
be sitting, I was complaining about not being busy. And
(05:51):
there is something Listen, I've been talking about this for
a while. There's something that I will never take for
granted again, and it's.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Rest never the Lord. I pray that I.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Remember this moment right now that I will never take
for granted a time in a season when the Lord
prompts me to rest, when he tells me to sit down,
when he tells.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Me to allow.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
My body, my mind, my soul to be restored, you
will not get any complaints out of me. You will
There is no rebuttal, there is no feedback there there
none of that is happening because I have learned that
resting really does restore you in such a way that
(06:41):
when it's time to quote unquote get busy, when it's
time to get back into the groove of the busy season,
you no longer feel like wow, tired because you've been
because you've been resting. So this is when I know
(07:02):
if I was resting. Well, this is how I know
that during times when God told me to sit down,
that I still have my mind worrying. Because now when
it's time to go and use my mind, if it
feels lethargic, if it feels weary, it's because I was
not resting when I should have been resting.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
Instead, I chose to worry.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
And because I chose to worry, now in the season
when I need to be ready to Stewart, to sew
to show up, I am now begging for rest, and
I am reminded that the Lord said I gave you rest.
I will never never miss stewart or resting season ever again.
(07:48):
I will tell you that. And for anyone who is
listening that has been wrestling with rest, let me tell
you it is one of the biggest gifts that God
can give us. One of the biggest blessings that you
will receive is receiving rest from your Father. Embrace it,
(08:10):
accept it. Okay, So now back to the question the topic,
back to stewardship. I'm sorry, back to steadfast. This came
(08:36):
up in my mind and I want to kind of
like go through. When I looked up the definition of stewarts,
I want to keep, want to say stewardship, But when
I looked up the definition of step fast, there were
a slew of like different synonyms that actually.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Matched it.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
And I want to couple so that you kind of
like can just have a little bit of context about
what we're talking about here.
Speaker 1 (09:13):
Okay, So.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Stewardship, committed, devoted, dedicated, dependable, steady.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
True, firm, single minded, resolute, unwavering, unyielding, like.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
These synonyms for steadfast is talking about committed, it's talking
about being single minded, it's.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
Talking about like staying focused.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
So of course when I am prompted with a word,
my next thought is like how does this apply?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
And where does the Lord want me to really.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Either showcase this in my life or is there some
areas where he's highlighting to where I'm not showcasing, Like
is this a corrective word for me? And I think
that that's where I've been this week is really just
discussing with the Lord. What being a steadfast disciple looks like,
(10:48):
what being a step fast believer looks like, What being
a stepfast business owner looks like? Like? Where can I
apply this word in my life and how does it
hold up to the synonyms and the definitions? How does commitment?
How does resolute? How does unwavering? How does single minded?
(11:13):
How does firm?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
True?
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Like?
Speaker 3 (11:15):
How does it hold up?
Speaker 1 (11:20):
And I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
The question that I post to God with this was
have I been confused in thinking that striving was actually
being steadfast? I just I remember for years I felt
(11:54):
like I was toiling. And when you go back, can
you look at the definition and you look at the
synonyms of stepfast, toiling is not one of them. And
yet during seas is when I thought I was being steadfast,
I felt as though I was toiling because I wasn't
(12:14):
being steadfast. I was striving, I was performing, I was presenting.
I'm gonna say that again for the people in the
back during the times and season when I thought I
was being steadfast, I was not. I was striving, I
was performing, I was presenting. And for whatever reason, I
(12:39):
thought that that was me being committed, that I thought
that was me being single minded, But really it was
coming from a place of insecurity, lack of identity and assurety,
because in order to be stepfast you have to be
firm on what your foundation is.
Speaker 1 (12:54):
And if you are firm and what your foundation is,
then you.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Understand and recognize that driving is not the same thing
as being steadfast. Steadfast is a shorty, it's a posture,
whereas those striving comes in with accolades and achievements and
(13:22):
uh check marks on goals and lists and things like that.
And I felt as though that the Lord was really
working out in me that in this season where I
see my life being busier, where there's a little there's
(13:42):
a little or a lot more action happening, that it
can be extremely easy to fall back into the familiar.
It can be easy to go back into what you
did before to maintain.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Your striving.
Speaker 2 (14:00):
But I love God so much because He loves me
so much to where he brings revelation to me. And
I'm sure to you that when you ask to have
a mind like Christ, and when you ask in your
prayers like Lord, mature me in a way so that
I don't go back into old patterns, that I don't
(14:22):
result back into old ways and having to keep up
with the presentation or a perception or a performance, even
in the good things, even in the things that you're
blessed me. And even in the answer prayers, like I
don't want to keep up with presenting all of all
of the answer prayers that I'm even receiving, Like sometimes
(14:43):
we can do that, we have to present it in
such a way to where it shows that we are
actually in alignment and walking with the Lord. And it's like,
you could just be firm, you could just be unwayed,
you could just be committed, and that is more than enough.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
So in this season, as.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I am producing more, as I am counseling more, as
I am ministring more, as I am managing more, I
am reminded that the enemy would love to get me
back into the old pattern and the familiar way of
doing this.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
The enemy would love.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
To get me back into a pattern of performing and
presenting and focusing on the perception and all of these things.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
And the Holy Spirit just.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
Comes upon me and tells me steadfast, Just be steadfast
and understand the difference, because the enemy loves to pervert
our minds and ways to believe something completely different about
(16:02):
what the word actually means.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
This is why.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
Truly doing your due diligence. And when I say truly
doing your due diligence. That means praying, that means seeking,
That means opening up your word in scripture and truly
having the definition of what terms mean as it relates
to you and what the Lord.
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Is asking of you in a season.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Because if you are leaning to your own understanding of
what you think the requirement is. If you're even leaning
to your own understanding of what you think a definition
of a word is, it's probably a ten out of
ten fam that that is completely off course and incorrect.
(16:48):
And if the enemy can get you in a loophole,
a loophole, sometimes I think that this is this is
something that we don't really taken consider when we hear
a lot of the spiritual jargon, and you hear it repeatedly,
and you yourself may even repeat it, but not having
(17:09):
like full on revelation on what it is. If the
enemy can get you in a loophole, then I'm reminded
of the Israelites when they kept going around and around
like a loop. It was a loop, a stronghold, a cycle,
a circle, it's a stronghold. So if the enemy can
(17:35):
get you going around and around and around and around,
believing the lie and making you feel as though that
you're doing the thing that God told you to do,
the way in which he told you to do it,
then you will keep going around and around and around.
But this is why the Bible tells is to lean
(17:56):
not to our own understanding. This is why the Bible
tells us to seek first the Kingdom of God, and
everything else will be added to us.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
And that is.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Including understanding, that is including wisdom. I was reading a passage.
Speaker 1 (18:16):
You guys, if you've been follow long, then.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
You know that I've been in Old Testament for a
while and I'm still there.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Don't judge me like I know. I'm supposed to be
finishing the whole Bible in a year, and.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
I've been moving like a snail on this. But even
in my move of a snail, I feel as though
that it's just been so I opening to me, like
what I've been saying. But I was reading the passage
when the Lord was speaking to David about the fact
that his son Samuel was going to be a leader
(18:57):
of rest and peace, and because he was going to
be a leader of rest in peace, the Israelites would
experience rest in peace during his reign, and I thought
that was, like I just for a second, I thought
(19:19):
that was interesting. I thought it was interesting in the
climate that we're in right now, right but I thought
it was interesting the promise.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
That the Lord was making with David.
Speaker 2 (19:30):
He was letting David know that what you're thinking that
you're gonna achieve in the fullness of your life, that
you're not. But I'm still gonna keep my promise. And
your son Samuel is going to and he will not
be a warring leader. That's not his testimony, that's not
his portion. He will actually be a leader of rest
(19:51):
in peace, and the Israelites will experience rest in peace.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
During his reign.
Speaker 2 (20:05):
And I'm reminded that when there's a transition that happens
when God is doing a new thing and he is
anointing and appointing another leader, that there is a promise
attached to that. And this is God somewhere completely different
(20:30):
than I thought I was gonna go. So I'm just
asking the Holy Spirit to help me here. But as
I was reading this passage, I just kind of like
was reminded that God's goodness and his faithfulness and his
(20:50):
mercy supersedes our lifetime, It supersedes our generation, Its supersede.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
The work of our own hands. This is why the
best thing we can do.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
As believers, as daughters, as Christians, as disciples is follow
Jesus and believe what God has said. Because the things
that we think that we may achieve, and then time
(21:31):
and we think that we may do it.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
It may not go that way. But the Lord keeps
his word.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
So if he's made a promise, he is faithful and
he will keep it. So strive isn't something that I
hear the Lord for me in this season? And I
say for me because I don't always assume that every
(22:11):
single word that the Lord has given to me that
he's given to others. I think that as children we
have ears to hear him. And I think as someone
who is really leaning into discipling, you know, other believers,
I would be a miss to not say. I would
(22:31):
ask God what is he saying this season is for you?
Because maybe this is your resting season. Maybe God isn't
giving you this big pop project to launch in this season,
and maybe God hasn't said that he wants you to
(22:51):
do an announcement for something this season. Maybe God is saying, hey,
I want you to be quiet and sit with me
and take stocking inventory on where the body of Christ is.
Maybe that's your season, and I'm very mindful of that.
And I know that we're in a time in the
(23:12):
season where everybody says, this is the time, this is
the time that you need to open your mouth, this
is the.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
Time that you listen. And I get it.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
But I think there is something so powerful when we
look at the life of Jesus. I look at two
separate times in which he was taunted and tempted. When
he was tempted by the enemy and the wilderness, and
the enemy said, well, if you are the son of God,
(23:46):
then turn the stone to bread, and Jesus responded back
to him with the word of God.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
But then I noticed that.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
When he was on his way to the cross and
had been captured and he was going to go be crucified,
he was mimicked and he was mocked, and he was taunted,
and he was told to defend himself, to prove that
if he was the Messiah, to get yourself down off
the cross, to do something, save yourself if you're really
(24:26):
the Messiah. And Jesus did not respond to them. He
interceded on our behalf to the Father.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
So there was a time when he rebuked.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
There was a time when he was quiet, There was
a time when he interceded. There was times when he
just spoke to the father like this is like in
my mind. You may say, how do you know when
to do what? How do you know when to speak?
How do you know when to stay silent? How do
you know when to work? And I think the answer
(25:04):
is to be step fast and infirm in our faith
and being an image bearer of Christ. I think that
is our number one job. Everything else is not even
a slight second. It is possibly fourth and fifth on
the list of things. No matter how anointed you feel,
(25:31):
the business is listen, your first job is to be
an image bearer.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
And I am reminded. I'm reminded.
Speaker 2 (26:00):
I'm also reminded that when it gets hard, and when
it gets tough, and when I'm tired and when I'm weak,
I'm remembered that he is faithful, and he is strong,
and he is sovereign. When I highlight all the things
in myself like this is the thing. I can highlight
(26:21):
all of these characteristics where I struggle within myself, and
I can call that being super transparent and vulnerable, like hey,
I don't want to be too haughty. I'm being like,
let me just humble myself, like I'm tired, I'm weak,
I'm struggling.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
But this is the great thing about God.
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Is that He's given us his word to know exactly
who he is, and he tells us to declare who
he is more.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
Than highlight who we are. God doesn't tell us to
thank you, Holy Spirit. He just called me.
Speaker 2 (26:58):
I literally was gonna say, he doesn't tell us to
boast about our weaknesses. But I believe it was apostile
Paul that said, as I'm being persecuted as a like,
I'm gonna boast about my weaknesses because it keeps me humble.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Y'all.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
This is why it's so important to make sure that
you know your scripture. And I just want to think
the Holy Spirit for correcting me, like before it even
came out of my mouth. But I want to be
transparent with you that sometimes we can just keep reciting
our own rhetoric and we can truly believe what we're saying.
But you wanna know what, when the Holy Spirit corrects
you and he prompts you to say what the correction is,
(27:37):
say what the correction is? Don't hold it to yourself.
Don't keep it like it's like little snack.
Speaker 1 (27:43):
No no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
The gift of the Holy Spirit that lives on the
inside of us acts as a comforter, It acts as
a corrector, It acts to edify us.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
And that was my weakness right there.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
And I'm gonna boast about it, because may God always
get the glory out of my story and every single
one of our stories in every single season, in every
single situation, no matter the smaller the big, no matter
the smaller the big. The other thing that I really
wanted to share before I wrapped this episode up was
(28:20):
I had this other thought that it came to my mind,
and it was in relation to.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Stewardship.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
That's probably why I kept saying it before in the
beginning of the episode, because that has been something that's
been on my heart, probably like for the last four months.
Is just stewarting and how the Lord has had me
Stewart the seed of say Grace for so long, and
just other seeds that he's had me stuart for a while.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
Rather it's relationships, or rather it is.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
Prayer request that I have for other people and my
family or my friends but I wanna say this to
someone and and and maybe this is for you, or.
Speaker 1 (29:10):
It is very hard.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I'm speaking from personal experience here. It is very hard
to steward something well when you are ashamed of how
it started. It's very hard to steward something wholeheartedly.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
With humility when you are carrying the shame.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
Of what the testimony actually is. And let me say this,
sometimes you really really highlight that overcoming sin is our testimony.
(30:03):
And maybe that falls in with a form of addiction,
maybe it falls in with a certain characters, ah W.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Whatever it may be for you.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
I think sometimes it has worked against us in our confidence,
but also in our ability to be committed and step
fast because we have walked and carried a testimony of
overcoming sin. And I'm gonna be real with you, I
(30:35):
haven't overcome sin. It was the blood that was shed
on Calvary the absolved my sins. So I don't have
a testimony of overcoming sin overcoming certain things. What I
(30:56):
do have is a testimony of declaring and sharing the
Gospel of Jesus, because it was by his blood and
is by his blood that all of our sins were
forgiven so that we may be right in the eyes
of the Father. And I really feel as though that
(31:18):
there are people that have been struggling with stewarding something well,
because the entire testimony is wrapped around them overcoming sin.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
So when they get triggered, when they.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Fall back into old habits, it is as if the
entire testimony has fallen to the ground. It is no
longer a testimony. I am back at square one, and
it is.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
A lie and the trick of the enemy. And I
want to be clear on this. The lie.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
Began when we thought that the testimony was that the
fact that we overcame this in.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
Even us saying.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
That I like, I like, we have to be very
mindful in the w the verbiage that we say, because
the more we say it, the more we begin to
believe it and it and and in some instances it
can be just very flippant, like we're not thinking, oh,
because I've worded it this way, that there is some
(32:34):
level of e I don't wanna use the word error,
but the but that's just what I feel like. There's
a level of error in the way in which that
we are communicating freedom, because where the spirit of the
Lord is, there is freedom that men can't heal you spiritually,
(32:57):
God does. We are not our own saviors.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
We are not.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
And that goes for the most anointed people ever. Okay,
if you're looking at John the Baptist in the Bible,
you know the man that baptized Jesus. Even when John
the Baptist, when Jesus asked him for him to baptize him,
John the Baptist was thrown okay, like who am I?
Speaker 1 (33:27):
And Jesus said that you are to do it so that.
Speaker 2 (33:32):
The word may be fulfilled, the word, the promise, you know,
the sacrifice, the coming of Christ, like our salvation. So
I just want to really preface those that are struggling
(33:55):
with storying well because they are ruggling to identify what
the testimony is when they still feel as though they
are struggling with sin and sin. Well, first and foremost,
I want to say that God has forgiven you because
(34:17):
of Jesus when you accepted him. That's one. Two. I
want to say, if you have not gone before the
Father to repent, do so because he loves you and
(34:38):
he wants you to surrender the burden, because he wants
you to walk in the freedom that he has given
you through his son, that you don't have to strive
for his love. You don't even have to strive to
(34:59):
be free. How many of us have tried to strive
our way into freedom. But that was the whole purpose
of Jesus being sent. That is the gospel, that was
(35:22):
the point of resurrection. And lastly, I just really want
to say, when it comes to our testimony, our testimony
is that he is the Son of God and that
(35:42):
he died for our sins and arose again so that
we might have eternal life. And when we believe that,
we represent that and we walk in freedom of that.
Speaker 1 (36:02):
That is the testimony period.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
And that's what the Lord is asking us to be
committed to and unwavering in, and not to be double
minded in our ways in the way in which that
we try to walk that thing out, be encouraged, be resolute,
(36:36):
be firm in the foundation of who your Father is.
His grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient. So as
we close this episode, I'm just gonna pray thank you.
(37:02):
I thank you for your unwavering and everlasting love that
you have given to me into all of your children.
I thank you for sending your son on our behalf
that we may know you and be able to spend
the rest of our lives with you. I thank you
(37:26):
for going before us. I thank you for sending the
Holy Spirit to edify us.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
I thank you for.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Drowning out the noise, silent scene, the familiar.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
That we may know you deeper.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Thank you for loving us, thank you for holding us,
thank you for forgiving us, thank you for choosing us,
and thank you for calling us by name. You're good,
(38:21):
you are holy, and we honor you, and we.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
Will worship you in Jesus' name. We pray.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (38:35):
Amen, Amen, Amen. Wow. Wow.
Speaker 2 (38:40):
When I tell you, I have just been loving these
episodes this season, I'm just loving what God is doing
in me so that I'm able to mature in a
way that i can show up for you, not my
my own strength and my own power, but by His spirit.
(39:05):
And I'm grateful that you have been tuning in every
single week. Thank you so much for liking, subscribing, and
sharing this podcast. Definitely, if you are not already, head
over to Instagram at imkwats for our personal and at
k wats Podcasts for the professional page. Definitely come say hello.
(39:27):
I respond to all of my DMS. I'm super excited
for next week's episode. We do have our I don't
want to say our first guest.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
I do count Brandon, but our first guest of.
Speaker 2 (39:39):
This season is gonna be on next week, So definitely
make sure that you guys tune in until next week.
Speaker 1 (39:46):
Be blessed,
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