August 15, 2024 • 46 mins
Are you investing in hollow promises? with Paige Pritchard In this episode of "The Kay Wats Podcast", Kay interviews Paige Pritchard, the founder of Overcoming Overspending and The Money Love Podcast. Paige shares her personal testimony and provides insight into how to create healthy boundaries with our finances, along with key questions we can ask to challenge our spending habits.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, Welcome to the k watts Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
Kawatts and I'm super excited that you decided to join
me today. This is the podcast where we chat about
the questions we ask God, we share testimonials about healing, wholeness,
and forgiveness. It doesn't matter what season of life you
may be in or the journey you may be currently
walking through. I know that this podcast will bless you.
(00:27):
At the end of the episode. If you feel like
that this has done exactly what I said, definitely hit
that like button, comment share, don't forget to subscribe again.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Welcome to the k WOTS podcast. Hey guys, welcome to
an all new episode of the k WATS podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
Kawatts and I am super excited about this week's Guts y'all.
I'm personally excited because I've been following her journey, her
story for quite some time now, and I have like
a personal testimony about it. So I would love to
welcome the founder of OH over Coming over Spending. That's right,
(01:03):
miss Page Pritchard, Welcome to the podcast. Hello, thank you
so much for having me. I loved that intro. Just
made me feel so nice and bubbly inside.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Oh good, that is the point yay for bubbly and welcoming.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Okay, So, for people let's say they're meeting you for
the first time listening in, tell us a little bit
about specifically.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Like who you are and what you do. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
So, like you said, my brand and company is called
Overcoming Overspending, And what I specifically do is I work
with women and who are really struggling with their spending
habits and their consumption habits. I really came into this
work through my own personal struggles and my younger twenties.
I was a full blown compulsive shopper myself. I graduated
(01:47):
from college, I got my first you know, real like
not real job, but I was making real money for
the first time. Right, I had more than twenty dollars
in my checking account. Let's say that I started actually
making a salary at a job, and you know, I
had all these grand plans to like save and pay
off my student loans, and it's basically the opposite of
what ended up happening. I actually ended up shopping my
(02:10):
way through my entire first year salary, Like the end
of that year came and my salary was all in
my closet. And mind you, I was living at home
with my parents too, So people are like, oh, but
you had other expenses, and I'm like, not really actually,
So when I say like I truly spent like most
of my salary just and shopped it away, I really
(02:32):
truly mean that. And so I kind of had this
like this wake up moment. And I feel very blessed
that I had that moment at a young age. I
mean I was I was twenty three when that happened,
you know, still kind of fresh out of college. But
I had this moment where I was like, Okay, if
I keep doing this for the rest of my life
and spending like this, I'm going to be broke for
the rest of my life. Like I've got to stop.
(02:53):
Something's got to change. But when I went out to
like actually go find advice to solve this problem, I
actually found it all quite unhelpful because it first of all,
it was all coming from like older men who interesting,
I felt like, didn't understand me and didn't understand my
life and the problems that I was facing. And it
(03:14):
was just a lot of like surface level stuff kind
of like well, delete your credit card autofill and unsubscribe
from emails. And I was like, well, I know my
credit card numbers my heart, so that doesn't help me.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
You know, It's likelemen, yea, yeah, I was a pro.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
I was like, I don't even need to be getting
the email, like I'm just gonna I'm just gonna go
up to the store. So I was like, Okay, this
advice isn't help feel it isn't helping me. I need
something that's going to go deeper and actually address like
the root of why I'm doing this right, which didn't
have a whole lot to do with what was going
(03:50):
on in my external world. It had a lot to
do with what was happening in my in my internal world.
So that's when I kind of set out just to
kind of come up with my own answers and my
own solutions. And I I will say, even though that
was like, you know, over ten years ago, I feel
like the past five issues, we've really kind of seen
(04:10):
this Like I call it just the perfect storm that
has been brewing. I think that people have been struggling
with this issue for a long, long time. But I
think in the past five years, it's like with social media,
just the explosion of social media, and in particular TikTok,
TikTok is pretty is kind of the culporate here. But
with the explosion of social media, with how much technology
(04:33):
has changed our consumption habits, even like in the past
five to ten years, right Amazon, Like, think about how
easy and efficient it is to shop now and the pandemic.
You know, what did we all do during the pandemic
by all cars and everything. It was like it was
like everyone kind of had their vice during the pandemic.
It was like your vice was either like you started
(04:54):
drinking a lot or you started shopping a lot, or
maybe both of those things. Right, So, I just a
couple of years ago, I was just like, people are
struggling with this.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
No one is talking about this.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
No one's talking about how they're in ten thousand dollars
worth of credit card debt. No one's talking about how
they're hiding debt from their spouse or their partner. No
one's talking about how social media is like sending them
into a financial black hole because they're just buying it,
you know, just clicking everywhere and buying everything. So I
was like, I've been through this, I understand the struggles.
I actually have solutions that I feel work. So if
(05:30):
I need to be the one that's going to run
through this brick wall and talk about it, I will.
So that's when I created my brand, and it's kind
of taken off. I feel like it's just it's resonating
with people. I feel like, you know, I feel like
we're actually finally getting to a point where a lot
of people are kind of just getting stick of like
the over consumption, the constant you need this, you need this,
(05:53):
must haves.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Oh my god, you have to have this.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I know as we're recording this, the under consumption core
trend is like really hot on TikTok right now or
just social media. So yeah, I mean that's that's what
I do and kind of how it came to be
and why I'm so passionate about it.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, I think there's a couple of things that you
said that just really resonated.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
One I love.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
One of the reasons why I wanted to bring you
on as a guest is because I love when I
bring people on that don't not only have grown a
brand and have created a business, that is thriving, but
it came from a place of just honest humility and
transparency and vulnerability and just testifying about what they.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Had to walk through.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And I think that it's not always easy to come
out and say, hey, I had a compulsive issue shopping. Hey,
like I basically spent my entire my entire.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Check look at it, it's my closet.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Like these are real things, Like people don't like to
have the conversations about debt. You even mentioning that there
are loved ones, people that are merry spouses that are
hiding their debt from the other, like that that is
a real thing. That's things that are happening in people's marriages,
in people's homes that are having long lasting impacts and
effects on just how we live.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Socially.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
So one of the things the whole premise of the
podcast is I love to talk about like the questions
that I've asked God and I've asked other people. So
my biggest question, and I'm sure you get this quite
a bit, and and maybe it's something that you had
the revelation about the kind of like start of this
journey is what is the number one reason why you
think people overspend.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, Okay, well I in my work, I usually boil
it down to two kind of main areas. But and
I'll tell you what both of those areas are, and
I'll actually even pick one for you that I think
is like even more than the other. But this is
what I was talking about when I was saying you
got to go deeper. Like the shopping is simply just
the symptom. So I want to start here and say,
(07:49):
if you are somebody who is struggling with like over
consuming overspending, your in chronic debt overspending.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That is just like the symptom.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
That's how underneath the surface are kind of showing up
in your external world. And it can always be boiled
down into something, and oftentimes it's both camps for people.
But it's something going on with your mindset that's kind
of like the first camp, and then the second camp
is the emotional side of the coin. It's something going
(08:20):
on with your emotions. Now, if I'm going to pick
one of those two that tends to be like the
deeper one, it's probably the emotional side of things. And
I think that's the mistake that a lot of people
make when they start digging into personal finance or like
learning about money is they think money is like super straightforward,
(08:41):
it's black and white, it's numbers, it's math, and yes,
of course that is a component of it, but especially
when it comes to your spending habits, so much of
what you do with your money can be tied back
to how you're feeling in the moment when the spending
is happening and occurring, or how you are wanting to
(09:03):
get yourself to feel after you buy and purchase something.
So there's kind of like, yeah, it's kind of like
the two camps. So what I see a lot is
what I kind of call the emotional shoppers, where you
find that you tend to do a lot of shopping
when you're sad, you're bored, you're insecure, you're lonely, you're
(09:24):
just fill in the blank, any type of negative emotion
that you're just like, ooh, this does not feel good.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I want to distract myself from this.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I don't want to be present with this uncomfortable emotion,
so I'm going to go shop. So I say, like,
shopping's kind of like your emotional crutch. And then there's
the other side of the emotional coin, that has to
do a lot with wanting to essentially buy yourself an
emotional experience, and I think it's key that everyone understands it,
(09:53):
like that's what marketing is, Okay, Like marketing and advertising,
a lot of us think, oh, they're trying to sell
me a product, and yes, the product is like the
end thing that you're buying, But really what you're buying,
and really what marketing and advertising is selling you is
the promise of an emotion. So it's selling you confidence,
(10:13):
it's selling you worthiness, it's selling you success, it's selling
you the feeling of being on top of things and
the feeling of being organized. So there's like one side
of the camp where it's like I don't want to
have to sit with my uncomfortable emotions. Let me distract
myself and done myself. And then there's the side of
the coin where it's like I am under the assumption
(10:33):
that I can go out and buy my way to
feeling a certain way. And so getting your point, like
getting yourself to a point where you can understand your emotions,
be present with your emotions, not run away from your emotions.
And honestly, like this sounds very obvious, but you'd be
surprised at how many people don't realize this. It's like
(10:57):
the foundation, the full coverage foundation, ultimately is not going
to give you your self worth. The cute top is
not going to give you ultimately that deep sense of
like inner self worth and inner self confidence. Yeah, and
like I said, as crazy as it sounds, a lot
of people like we've just been trained to believe that
(11:18):
with marketing. That's what marketing is. It's like, buy my product,
feel a certain way. So when you can conster the
skill of emotions, like that's really the core of it.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I think there's a couple of things that you said,
but I think one of the things that you said
that really really strikes me as kind of like I've
never heard it worded that way, but I definitely think
that there is something to that, to where marketing isn't
really just about marketing a product, but people are usually
marketing to promote a promise.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
And I'm like, yes.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
That that's a great word for it, promise.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
And it's also very scary because what we are buying
into our hollow promises because just like you said, you
buying that product is not going to cure your self worth.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Issues.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
It's not going to fix your identity issues. It's definitely
not going to fix the overspending in the financial debt
that you have accrued throughout some time. But somewhere along
the line, we have bought into this narrative. We bought
into this belief that this product is a promise that
(12:28):
everything is going to be okay, that this product is
a promise that my life is going to be figured out.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Now.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Granted, I love me a good product that actually works.
Give me some good face cleanser that's going to do
the job right, give me the right mess scare that's
going to look like I have extensions for day.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like, I love products that work right.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
So I'm not saying that, hey, don't buy the product
for things that you actually want right or things that
you feel like that you need. I think the problem
comes in is that when we're buying into a lie,
it's kind of like, I forget what scripture specifically it is,
but it says that they exchange the truth for a lie.
So it's kind of like in those exchanges, which is
(13:11):
so scary to think, and it's so quick and we
can do it so flimpant sometimes to where we can
very simply just buy into the lie.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
That if I achieve this, if I.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Buy this, if I spend this, if I go here,
if I look this way, that everything will be fixed,
that I will be okay, that people will like me more,
that this will give the perception that everything is okay,
even if everything is falling apart behind the scenes. And
I think that we are at a place and this
(13:46):
is like when I was like, oh, that's a bar.
I think that we are at a place in this
season of a life where a lot of people to
where they have recognized they've come to the reality, to where,
oh my goodness, I've changed the truth for a lie.
I've bought into the lie about this hollow promise that
(14:06):
was never true. And now I've not only accrued debt,
which brings on shame and brings on condemnation because now
you're embarrassed. Now you're embarrassed that you believe the lie,
and now you're embarrassed that you have gotten yourself into
this financial stronghold, this financial debt, right, and the impacts
that that comes with because debt brings about other things
(14:28):
that can have long lasting effects. Let's just talk about
the reality and the practicality of what financial debt can
do to your to your credit, to your living to
just your just your life choices in general. So I
think that you bringing up that this is a this
is a bigger issue for us to really sit and
(14:50):
ask ourselves some hard questions and really do some searching
on the why and really paying attention. There is something specific,
and I just want to.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Be honest and testify about this, and I wanted to
share this.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I'm not going to say what the brand is, but
there is a brand that is very popular and I
have noticed that a lot of people have bought let's
say they're specific tumblers, Okay and right, okay, Uh, I'm
not shaping a gold record to say I personally don't
have an issue with the brand, but I noticed that
(15:27):
there is a lot of influencers, specifically a lot of
faith based influencers that I have seen with this product
right marketing it and all their stuff. And I don't
think it's because they have Granted, if you have a
brand deal, that's your business. But I don't think it's
because of the fact that they have a brand deal.
It's because when you see another influencer that is in
the same industry, the same marketing spaces. You you then
(15:50):
start accruing all of the same items that they have,
which is very interesting.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
This goes back to your social media. So I had this.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I had this up for years. I've had people like,
have you got yours? Have you got your so and
so tumblr? Have not bought this tumblr?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Right? Yeah, So I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I had this moment where I was like, you know what,
maybe I just need to go ahead on and buy
this tumblr so that I have it as a staple
to like fit into this narrative of what every other
content creator is doing. But I'm gonna be honest with you.
I don't like the tumblr. I don't like the way
it looks me purposely, So I really sat here and thought,
(16:32):
then why would I purchase it?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Why would I purchase a product that I personally is
not my preference?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
And then I was like, Wow, the only reason why
I would make that purchase is to be validated by
other people, other peers that oh my, oh oh she's
in the end, she knows right, or to have the
appearance of something.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
And I was like, this is such a slippery slope.
So in my mind, I was like, I'm not buying
this freaking dumbler, good for you. I'm just this is
what I personally.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
She'd showed me her water bottle right now, personally, this
is what I like and just want me to have, right, yes, yes, yes,
But the fact that this.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Is the part that was embarrassing to me, or that
I really had to take pause on honestly, page it
was the fact that I even had to sit and
contemplate about purchasing a product or an item that I personally,
just personal preference, did not care for. But clearly, my
(17:47):
friends are doing their job. They are great influencers because
they were they are doing their jobs. But the only
reason why I would purchase it is because I was
influenced by someone else.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Telling me that I should, and how how dangerous that is.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So I also think that there is another level of
this as well, to where maybe we are such not
only a deprived generation and exchanging truth for a lie,
but we are so easily influenced to where we're not
even taking stock and inventor Do do you.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Really want that shirt? Yeah? Want total glasses? Do you
want that car? Like? Do you want those shoes?
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Like?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Do you actually personally like it. Does it fit your
your style choice that you like or is it the
fact that you've seen everybody else on social media buying
the same item, so you feel pressure to do the
thing because maybe if you buy this item, this will
actually increase your viewship, maybe it will increase your likes.
(18:52):
So then we're talking about more of the validation that
we need, which is a bigger issue. So what I've
learned earned and kind of like witness And I'm very
curious because I know that you kind of like have courses,
you do the workshops, and you.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Are like coaching people through this.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, do you have people that are saying like and
that would be a very hard thing to admit, But
I am curious if you've had this that people say
all the debt that I accrued was really about me
just being influenced by other people to buy things.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
It wasn't even stuff that I do you understand what
I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
People people buying a car that they can't afford, but
they actually need the car.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I possibly can make some type of sense of that.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Like, hey, maybe maybe we should have worked on the car,
Maybe we should have thought this out on how we
could possibly afford this car, because you do need a car.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
But what about I've just bought.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Trips and bags and shoes because other people influenced me
to do it. I don't even really know if I
care about any of these items, but I have a
crew twenty thousand dollars of debt just because I was
influenced by other people.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Have you seen this every day? I see it every day.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Wow, I see it all the time every day, And
you're absolutely right, Like, I feel like I have a
very unique lens into things like this because you're absolutely right,
no one I one of the things that I'm most
proud of, I'll say this, one of the things that
I'm most proud of in my work is that I
feel like I have created, truly, like probably one of
(20:29):
the few if only places that's an online community where
somebody can safely come in and.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Not confess confess.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Isn't the good word, but just own that this is
their this is their situation. Like, not only am I
in debt, but this is why I got myself in debt,
And so I feel like I hear people saying this
all the time.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
But again, it's because of my work and what I do.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
But I feel like, you know, anyone who's not in
my community or anyone just kind of out there is like,
oh my gosh, is that really true?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Is that actually happening? And I want to say, it
is happening so much more than you even realize. And
I think you hit the nail on the head with
this validation piece. And honestly, us spending our money not
ultimately for ourselves, but for other people, So we are
spending it on ourselves. Like to your point, let's go
(21:24):
back to your templar example. Right, the tumbler would have
been for you. It would have been it would have
been your tumbler, and you used to it, right, but
it really would have been, like it really wouldn't have
been for you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
It would have been to show other people, right.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
And this is something that is called conspicuous consumption, which
basically means that you use your spending to signal something
about yourself to other people. And this is what I
always say, I'm like, spending is the language of money.
Spending is a form of communication. It's how you show
the world who you are, how you be yourself, how
(22:00):
you want the world to view you. Spending is the
language of money. Now, the problem is that a lot
of us are using our money to try to buy
the eyeballs of other people. The attention, the validation, the praise,
the oohs and ahs that oh my god, where did
you get that? Oh my god, you look so cute
from other people? And I think, especially as women, it's like,
(22:21):
how much stake are we putting in that?
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Right?
Speaker 3 (22:24):
How much of the outfit are you actually buying because
you love it, versus like, Oh, I just want I
just want to go to dinner with the girls and
have them telling me the whole time I'm at dinner
how cute I look. Or I just want to walk
into the office and have everybody compliment with just you know,
complimenting my outfit all day.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
And so a question I'll give you.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I'll give you two questions that kind of popped up
when you were talking about that. One question that I
always challenge people this to kind of filter your purchases through.
And this doesn't have to be like for everything. It
doesn't have to be like for groceries and more kind
of like everyday things. But to your point, for the
clothes and the tumblers and this and that and whatever,
and especially stuff that you're seeing on social media. Ask
(23:05):
yourself the question, if no one could see that I
had this, If, like I was going to to your point,
if I was going to buy this tumblr and no
one ever saw me drink out of it, I couldn't
like show it off to people and be like, Oh,
here's my tumbler, look at me. I'm part of the crew.
I'm part of the gang. I got my tumblr right.
If no one could actually see that you owned this tumbler,
would you even care, Like, would you even be considering
(23:27):
buying it? Would you even be thinking about making this purchase.
I think your example is perfect because I think, like,
if you were to answer that question about the tumbler,
the answer would clearly be no. Like, the only reason
I'm thinking about this is because I want people to
see me carrying it around. I want people to see
me drinking out of it, because it says something about
(23:47):
who I am as a person to be holding the tumblr,
to be drinking out of the tumblr. And I think
there's a big part of it too. I think you
just have to understand our wiring and programming as human beings.
In a very primal sense, we are very like pack mentality.
We like abandonment, isolation, being left outside of the group
(24:09):
and the crowd being left behind. That's a very real
thing when it comes to your purchases, like how much.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
How much spending have you done?
Speaker 3 (24:17):
How many things have you bought simply because you just
didn't want to be left out, simply because you just
didn't want to be the only one without it. And
especially if you were somebody who as a child, maybe
you were in a situation where you were told know
a lot, or maybe your family just didn't have the
financial resources to, you know, buy you the latest sneakers
or buy you the latest that, and you had to
(24:39):
go to school and everybody had the cute backpack or
everybody had this or that and you were the only
one without it. I can't tell you how many how
many women I work with that are like I was
just told know a lot as a kid, or like
my mom and dad couldn't afford to buy me the
things that all the other kids had. So then I
became an adult and I started making my own money,
and it was like bohoo, like I'm gonna I was
told know so much as a kid. I'm never going
(25:00):
to tell myself no, as an adult, so you have
to kind of That's why I'm saying that things are deeper.
Another question, one more question I want to offer, which
this is more of a cheeky one, but I think
it's a good one too, is the question do I
really want it? Or do I just keep seeing it
on social media? Like marketing? Yeah, it's like do it.
(25:21):
It's like do I really want it? Or like, have
I just seen this like a thousand times on TikTok
And as a byproduct of seeing it every other video
on TikTok shop or seeing it in every influencer's Amazon storefront,
now I've somehow convinced myself that I want it or
need it, And I'll leave this part of the conversation
with this.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
This is something I say a lot to the women
in my community.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I say, someone else having something that you don't doesn't
automatically create the need for you to have it as well.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Like other people can.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Have things that you do not have and you can
simply just admire it with them having it and you
not having it. Right, someone else having something that you
do not does not automatically create the need for you
to need it as well.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So good. So anyways, I see it all the time.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I think that I think that example that you gave
is like spot on just to kind of pinpoint this
thing of like how much of my spending am I
really truly doing for me versus like actually doing it
for other people?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Love this.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I also think the reality of this is is that
this goes beyond just spending on like the practical things
of like you know, clothes and shoes.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
And trips and things like that.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
When you talk about looking on social media and seeing
what other people have, you can see that also resonate
in relationships. You know, when singles see other people that
are are married or or you know, newly married people
see people with kids. You start there is it creates
a desire, This is what I feel. It creates a
(26:57):
desire of the fear of missing out. People don't talk
about it too much, but fomo still exists in different areas,
in different ways.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
It still exists.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
So I definitely think that this is something questions that
you just presented and prompted. I definitely think hopefully people
that are listening if you're driving, make sure that you
go back, replay this and write these questions down for
you actually to sit back and just really ask yourself,
like when it comes to your spending habits, when it
comes to the decisions that you're making for what you're buying,
(27:30):
really checking the intentions behind what we're buying, and maybe
you're saying like, hey, it's not that serious. It's a tumbler,
it's a shirt, it's a shoe. I will say this,
anything that starts popping up that has adverse impacts on
your life is a big deal. And when I say ye,
long lasting impacts. Your financial spending has a long lasting
(27:54):
impact on your life on how you view money right,
how you look at it, how you view it, how
you view it and see it in others.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
That has an impact.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So it is worth sitting down and really intentionally asking
yourself this question. One of the last questions I have
for you, page is that when you talk about your
personal testimony of kind of like really having that moment
of kind of like sitting down and looking and taking
stock and inventory.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Once you feel like that you have gotten.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Over the compulsive overspending, I'm curious to know if there.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Was any aspects of I don't want. The word that
comes to mind is like delayed recovery.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
But I'm very curious on when you felt like, oh,
I no longer have the compulsion, but I second guessed
myself when I need to buy something. Was there a
point in your journey to where you were no longer
compulsively but then when you would see something that came
up unless that it had a big price tag on it, right,
(29:07):
and you weren't compulsively just shopping, shopping, shopping, but something
came up and you were like, you know what I
want that I'm going to buy that.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Did you have.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Any residue of guilt or shame on? I don't know,
like is it creeping back up or did you feel
like No, I was able to take stock and inventory
of the feeling and the emotion of when I was
buying to where this was a clear choice that I
was making out of a place of need and that
I wanted, and not out of a place of insecurity
(29:36):
and some unpresented desire that came from seeing what someone
else had. I'm just curious, was it immediate for you
or was there a space?
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Well, there is definitely I would say that from kind
of the moment that I decided Okay, I've got to
do something about this to having a moment where I
felt like, Okay, I feel like I'm a totally and
completely different person now with my spending habit. It's I
want to be honest and say that that process like
certainly did not happen overnight. I mean that was probably
like a twelve to eighteen month process gap between those
(30:11):
two things, because I think what a lot of people
don't understand is like, once you get into the habit
of shopping consistently, it just becomes like, you know, it's
it's the same thing as you know, if you're a
smoker wanting to have cigarettes every day, or you know,
having your having your diet coke at the same time
every day. Like stuff just becomes like so ingrained in
(30:33):
habitual to us that when you change that, it can
certainly take time for that to change. So it probably
was a solid like twelve to eighteen months before I
was like, Okay, I finally feel like that urge that
I feel and I call it the urge to splurge, right,
that urge to splurge is like no longer like gripping
me on a on a daily basis. To your point, though,
(30:56):
I think you bring up a really good point because
I feel like this one, this one's tough. I think
a lot of people don't realize this. Like to me,
I'm like money and food are the two hard ones
because these are two things that you pretty much have
to live your life with, Like you gotta eat. So
if you've struggled with maybe binge eating in the past
(31:18):
or disordered eating in the past, food isn't something that
you can just be like, Okay, I'm just never gonna
eat again, versus maybe something like alcohol. Right, Like when
you're changing behaviors with alcohol, Let's use that as an example.
Abstaining is an option, like you being like I just
don't have to touch another drop of alcohol for the
rest of my life, if that's what I choose to do.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Spending's not that way.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
You're like, I gotta spend money, like I'm gonna have
to do this to be operating in society. So to
your point when you were asking about like does the
shame or the guilt come up or maybe like second
guessing myself, what I've done which has been the most
helpful to me is putting systems, and I just call
them like financial boundaries place for myself that I follow
(32:03):
which give me permission to spend. And I want to
make this clear too, like, I still spend money. I
think a lot of people hear my brand and they think, oh,
the goal of what you do is to get people
to stop spending money.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That's not what I do at all.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I'm trying to get you to spend money in a
way that is serving you, that's helping you, that's actually
making your life better, versus spending that's driving you into debt,
that's creating tension in your relationships, that's you know, separating
you from from feeling and connecting with your emotions, trying
to buy things that you can't buy. So I actually say, like,
(32:39):
the goal is to be an intentional spender, a skilled spender,
and in order to do that, you have to be
spending money. You can't be a skilled spender and not
be spending any money.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
But what being.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
An intentional or a skilled spender means is that you
have a system, You have financial boundaries in place, and
so that's what I use and rely on to make
my spending choices honestly, really easy, and it takes away
a lot of that guilt and shame. So I'll give
you a couple examples. For instance, I always go into
(33:14):
a month with what I call a money map. That's
just what I call a budget. People hate the word budget,
so I'm like, fine, we'll call it something else.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Let's call it. Let's call it a money map, because
that's truly what I think that it is.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I'm like, listen, it's just it's basically like where am
I now? Where do I want to get to? What
are the directions? What are the steps to get there?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Right?
Speaker 3 (33:31):
So, going into a month, I always have a money
map for how much money I'm going to have coming
in and where I'm planning to deploy that money too.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Now, it never goes perfectly. It never does.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I've never made a money map for myself and like
nailed it specifically.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
But that's step.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
One of just going into a month, or you could
even do this by like pay period, just to say like,
this is what's coming in and I know exactly what
I'm gonna be doing with this money. The second thing
I do is I implement with things that are kind
of outside of that, that are more like unusual. So
I'm not saying you have to do this with like
groceries and putting gas in your car and like running
(34:07):
through Chick fil A, right, But a seventy two hour
rule for your purchases.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I can't even tell you. It sounds so simple, but
it truly is.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
One of the most effective things to do is to
give yourself pause. And especially like I was saying at
the beginning of the episode, how fast our consumption has
become like your purchases, and your consumption is literally like
one click away, hours away from being on your doorstep
right and days like you know, two days at max.
(34:37):
In a lot of cases, our consumption has sped up
and become so fast that even just taking some time
to slow yourself down does wonders. So I have a
seventy two hour rule. And I also have a rule
that anything that I want to buy, I add it to.
Some people call it a wish list. I call it
at things I want to buy list. But it's basically
(34:57):
like I keep.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Mine in notion.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
You can do it in your note you can do
it in a notebook, but just like keeping a list
of things that you want to buy in one place.
Because I can't even tell you how many things that
get added to that list in the moment, like when
my brain is like really excited and really hyper about it.
Like if I see something on social media, I'll snap
a screenshot of it add it to the list. Or
(35:19):
if I'm in target, I'll take a picture of it.
I'll add it to the list. Half the things that
go on the list, maybe even more than half. I
never end up buying because once I give myself distance
in space and I let my brain cool off of it,
my brain's like, oh yeah, no, no, no, like we're good,
we don't really need that thing. A couple of a
couple other things, a couple other boundaries that I put
(35:40):
into place. I don't do any and again take this
one or leave this one. Some people are like, I
could never do that, but it works for me. I
never do any shopping on my phone, Like I'm not
gonna I don't buy things on my like I either
buid it in person or I have to come into
my office down in front of my desktop computer and
(36:02):
buy it online. I think just I think shopping on
phones has just become like way too quick and way
too easy. I have a couple of exceptions to that rule, like,
for instance, like buying my coffee pods on off of Amazon.
I'll do that, but it's always exception to like, yeah,
if there's anything like out of the ordinary, like oh
I really want to go buy that top, Oh I
(36:23):
really want to go buy that planner. Whatever it is. Like,
it's like we either do it in person or we
do it on my computer.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I don't. I don't spend any money.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
If I've been consuming any sort of alcohol, that's another
big one. The ladies are like, ooh, you know, I
you know, I get I get a little click happy,
like I'll crack open the bottle of wine and I'll
pull up Amazon. So it's like if I've been if
I've had you know, any any you know, margarita, glass
(36:54):
of wine, whatever it is, it's like, I just I
know my I know my inhibitions have just drastically been reduced,
and I just don't. I don't go shopping, I don't
go online, I don't go shopping. I just don't do it.
So those are the boundaries that work for me. But
just because they work for me, I'm not saying that
everybody needs to do those and adopt those. I think
the important thing for each one of us to slow
(37:16):
down and think through is where are the areas of
my spending where things are happening really fast, things are
happening really impulsively, even just going and looking, pulling up
a a your your last bank statement, your last one
or two bank statements, with a highlighter, and literally just
(37:36):
going and highlighting anything that you bought that you're like.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Why did I do this? Like I don't remember I
bought that.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
I don't I don't remember it. I wish I didn't
buy this thing. I'm not sure why, or like I
bought it and I haven't even used it. I haven't
even warned it. I haven't even cracked it open, and
just see if you can see any patterns, like is
there a pattern in the product category? Is there a
pattern how you were feeling? Is there a pattern in
you know to your point, was this all stuff on
(38:05):
my phone? Was it when I had been drinking or
you know whatever, Like just are there any patterns that
you can see in the purchases that you're making that
you don't feel good about after the fact, And then
asking are there any financial boundaries that I can put
in place for myself to make my purchasing decisions easier
(38:25):
and feel better and where I don't have this regret
I don't have this like spending crash after the fact,
So those are doing that for yourself is like one
of the kindest things you can do.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
It. People think, oh, this.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Sounds this sounds like like I don't like the rules,
I don't like the restriction. I don't view it that way.
I'm like, these are these are my guidelines, right. It's
it's kind of like these are the bumpers. You know,
like when you go bowling and you put up the
bumpers for the little kids. It's like, these are just
my spending bumpers, right. They keep the ball in the lane,
keep it on tracks so that I don't fall into
the gutter.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah, And that's how they are. They're just love bumpers.
I love this.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I will say, if I'm going to be completely honest
and transparent, this is probably the first year that I
have not had debt. And there's two things that you
said that I would say actually helped me with that.
If I'm going to be completely honest. The first one
is is that I really had to practice being able
to pause and really ask myself do I need this?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
What is it for? And can it wait? Right?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Like, what is the need where I need to buy
this right now. When I really got into the habit
of pausing, I really noticed there was probably about seventy
percent of things that I would have said yes to
before I now say no to. And to your point,
(39:56):
that doesn't mean that I don't shop. That doesn't mean
that I don't buy, that doesn't mean that I don't
still like nice things. But I can say now that
a solid ninety percent of what I am buying I
am intentionally buying for a need or I'm intentionally saying no,
actually I don't need it. So that was one the
(40:16):
other thing that really had me start the conversation on
how do am I, how do I truly get out
of debt, and what do I really need to focus on.
The pattern check was huge for me, and I started
in twenty twenty. I started going through my bank statements
and I started highlighting the habitual purchases that I was
(40:40):
making and where the money was going to, and do
you want to know my number one where it was going?
And I was kind of like, maybe we were saying, oh,
it was during the pandemic, that makes sense, Okay, my
number one purchase was going to food, Yeah, was going
to the coffee runs, the quick, the eating.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Owl, just through delivery, mood delivery.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Like when I started highlighting and really calculating, it was
hundreds of dollars a week.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
This is hundreds of dollars. This is thousands of dollars
a month. When I started noticing that pattern, I said.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
This is a hard pass for me. This is a
hard no. Because sometimes we can talk about, man, it
looks so impossible to get out of debt, it looks
so impossible to be able to start having healthy relationship
with money. It looks impossible. But sometimes with a quick
pause and a check of a pattern, it can change
(41:43):
your life.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Truly. Yes, yes, I really just want to say thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Thank you for not only coming on the podcast and
sharing your personal testimony, but I really want to say
thank you for the brand and the business that you
have is something that I just don't feel like it's fleeting.
And I don't say that casually, especially in the space
of social media and marketing. I really do think that
we're just seeing the beginning of you really being able
(42:11):
to counsel and coach people through this, because I do
think that we're walking into a time and season to
where there are so many people that on their prayer
list is buy a home, it's do all these things,
being able to afford trips with families, but the reality
of it is budget wise or financially, they cannot swing it,
and they're really asking the Lord how. And I truly
(42:32):
believe it's through people like you, just offering practical solutions
but being so transparent and honest on.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
How to approach it.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
One of the things that I've noticed that people that
have a gift to make things look super small. I
noticed it and my husband when I was dating him.
It's one of the reasons why I married him. And
this probably has something to do with it, but probably not.
This is what I say, because he is a certified
pass he was raised as a PK. But I never
(43:03):
met someone that made sin seem so small and got
so big because I was raised where sin seems so
huge to people. And he was like, and that's the
lie and the trick. So he was like, when you
see people that just make the problem look small and
the solution big, those are usually the people that you
should pay attention to and you make overspending seem so
(43:30):
small when it comes to actually just hey, it's just
these quick notes apply where needed, ask the questions, and
let's see the growth and.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
The productivity in that.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
And I think for people that are listening, they definitely
need to check you out and know that you have,
you know, workshops and things that you're doing. You also
have the money Love Podcast. So while we wrap this up,
I definitely just want you to tell people where they
can find you and what you have coming up to
where they can just learn more about.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
What you have going on.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Yeah, yeah, no, thank you. Well, first of all, thank
you for all those kind words. That's just so nice
and just so encouraging to hear, and so I just
I really appreciate it. So where to find me? I
obviously you're you're a podcast person if you're here listening
to this. So I have a podcast myself. It's called
the Money Love Podcast. It's been out for about four
(44:21):
years now. So there's plenty of episodes for you to
come and get caught up on. So you can find
that anywhere that you listen to your podcasts on social media,
most active on Instagram and TikTok. My handles are at overcoming, underscore, overspending,
and then if this is an area that you're like,
this is this is somewhere where I really want to
(44:44):
focused and invest my energy and resources into improving. I
have a monthly membership, which is where I do all
of my coaching, so I don't do any one on
one coaching anymore. I do all of my coaching in
side the membership. But you can learn more about that
at Overcoming Overspending dot com forward slash membership. We do
(45:06):
like ten calls a month, so we do a lot
of calls. There's a lot of coaching. We meet like
two or three times a week. And it's like I
was saying at the beginning, it really is like I
truly view it as a community, and it really is
like one of the most supportive, in my opinion, money
communities out there.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I always like to tell people this.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
I would say, to your point, when you were talking
about getting out of debt, I would say, eighty to
ninety percent of the women in my community are in
debt due to their overspending. So I always say, like,
if you're struggling with this, if you're in debt because
of this, this is your place, Like you will be welcomed.
You don't have to hide, you don't have to be embarrassed.
We talk about it all openly. You can get the
(45:53):
support there that you feel like you might not be
able to get in your other circles, or or you
just feel like you can't be open and honest about
it in your other circles. So yeah, that's where you
can come join us.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
I love that. Guys.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode
of the k WATS Podcast. Definitely make sure that you
go and follow Page on all social media handles. Go
check out her podcast, The Money Love Podcast. Again, Page,
thank you so much for showing up and sharing today.
It was an honor and a pleasure to have you truly,
thank you for having.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Me of course.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Okay, guys, until next time, you know where to find
me at imkwats for personal at kwats podcast for the podcast.
Make sure that you like, share and subscribe, and until
next time, be blessed.
Hey guys, Welcome to the k watts Podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
Kawatts and I'm super excited that you decided to join
me today. This is the podcast where we chat about
the questions we ask God, we share testimonials about healing, wholeness,
and forgiveness. It doesn't matter what season of life you
may be in or the journey you may be currently
walking through. I know that this podcast will bless you.
(00:27):
At the end of the episode. If you feel like
that this has done exactly what I said, definitely hit
that like button, comment share, don't forget to subscribe again.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Welcome to the k WOTS podcast. Hey guys, welcome to
an all new episode of the k WATS podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
Kawatts and I am super excited about this week's Guts y'all.
I'm personally excited because I've been following her journey, her
story for quite some time now, and I have like
a personal testimony about it. So I would love to
welcome the founder of OH over Coming over Spending. That's right,
(01:03):
miss Page Pritchard, Welcome to the podcast. Hello, thank you
so much for having me. I loved that intro. Just
made me feel so nice and bubbly inside.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Oh good, that is the point yay for bubbly and welcoming.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Okay, So, for people let's say they're meeting you for
the first time listening in, tell us a little bit
about specifically.
Speaker 1 (01:22):
Like who you are and what you do. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
So, like you said, my brand and company is called
Overcoming Overspending, And what I specifically do is I work
with women and who are really struggling with their spending
habits and their consumption habits. I really came into this
work through my own personal struggles and my younger twenties.
I was a full blown compulsive shopper myself. I graduated
(01:47):
from college, I got my first you know, real like
not real job, but I was making real money for
the first time. Right, I had more than twenty dollars
in my checking account. Let's say that I started actually
making a salary at a job, and you know, I
had all these grand plans to like save and pay
off my student loans, and it's basically the opposite of
what ended up happening. I actually ended up shopping my
(02:10):
way through my entire first year salary, Like the end
of that year came and my salary was all in
my closet. And mind you, I was living at home
with my parents too, So people are like, oh, but
you had other expenses, and I'm like, not really actually,
So when I say like I truly spent like most
of my salary just and shopped it away, I really
(02:32):
truly mean that. And so I kind of had this
like this wake up moment. And I feel very blessed
that I had that moment at a young age. I
mean I was I was twenty three when that happened,
you know, still kind of fresh out of college. But
I had this moment where I was like, Okay, if
I keep doing this for the rest of my life
and spending like this, I'm going to be broke for
the rest of my life. Like I've got to stop.
(02:53):
Something's got to change. But when I went out to
like actually go find advice to solve this problem, I
actually found it all quite unhelpful because it first of all,
it was all coming from like older men who interesting,
I felt like, didn't understand me and didn't understand my
life and the problems that I was facing. And it
(03:14):
was just a lot of like surface level stuff kind
of like well, delete your credit card autofill and unsubscribe
from emails. And I was like, well, I know my
credit card numbers my heart, so that doesn't help me.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
You know, It's likelemen, yea, yeah, I was a pro.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
I was like, I don't even need to be getting
the email, like I'm just gonna I'm just gonna go
up to the store. So I was like, Okay, this
advice isn't help feel it isn't helping me. I need
something that's going to go deeper and actually address like
the root of why I'm doing this right, which didn't
have a whole lot to do with what was going
(03:50):
on in my external world. It had a lot to
do with what was happening in my in my internal world.
So that's when I kind of set out just to
kind of come up with my own answers and my
own solutions. And I I will say, even though that
was like, you know, over ten years ago, I feel
like the past five issues, we've really kind of seen
(04:10):
this Like I call it just the perfect storm that
has been brewing. I think that people have been struggling
with this issue for a long, long time. But I
think in the past five years, it's like with social media,
just the explosion of social media, and in particular TikTok,
TikTok is pretty is kind of the culporate here. But
with the explosion of social media, with how much technology
(04:33):
has changed our consumption habits, even like in the past
five to ten years, right Amazon, Like, think about how
easy and efficient it is to shop now and the pandemic.
You know, what did we all do during the pandemic
by all cars and everything. It was like it was
like everyone kind of had their vice during the pandemic.
It was like your vice was either like you started
(04:54):
drinking a lot or you started shopping a lot, or
maybe both of those things. Right, So, I just a
couple of years ago, I was just like, people are
struggling with this.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
No one is talking about this.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
No one's talking about how they're in ten thousand dollars
worth of credit card debt. No one's talking about how
they're hiding debt from their spouse or their partner. No
one's talking about how social media is like sending them
into a financial black hole because they're just buying it,
you know, just clicking everywhere and buying everything. So I
was like, I've been through this, I understand the struggles.
I actually have solutions that I feel work. So if
(05:30):
I need to be the one that's going to run
through this brick wall and talk about it, I will.
So that's when I created my brand, and it's kind
of taken off. I feel like it's just it's resonating
with people. I feel like, you know, I feel like
we're actually finally getting to a point where a lot
of people are kind of just getting stick of like
the over consumption, the constant you need this, you need this,
(05:53):
must haves.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Oh my god, you have to have this.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I know as we're recording this, the under consumption core
trend is like really hot on TikTok right now or
just social media. So yeah, I mean that's that's what
I do and kind of how it came to be
and why I'm so passionate about it.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Yeah, I think there's a couple of things that you
said that just really resonated.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
One I love.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
One of the reasons why I wanted to bring you
on as a guest is because I love when I
bring people on that don't not only have grown a
brand and have created a business, that is thriving, but
it came from a place of just honest humility and
transparency and vulnerability and just testifying about what they.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Had to walk through.
Speaker 2 (06:30):
And I think that it's not always easy to come
out and say, hey, I had a compulsive issue shopping. Hey,
like I basically spent my entire my entire.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Check look at it, it's my closet.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Like these are real things, Like people don't like to
have the conversations about debt. You even mentioning that there
are loved ones, people that are merry spouses that are
hiding their debt from the other, like that that is
a real thing. That's things that are happening in people's marriages,
in people's homes that are having long lasting impacts and
effects on just how we live.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
Socially.
Speaker 2 (07:05):
So one of the things the whole premise of the
podcast is I love to talk about like the questions
that I've asked God and I've asked other people. So
my biggest question, and I'm sure you get this quite
a bit, and and maybe it's something that you had
the revelation about the kind of like start of this
journey is what is the number one reason why you
think people overspend.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Yeah, Okay, well I in my work, I usually boil
it down to two kind of main areas. But and
I'll tell you what both of those areas are, and
I'll actually even pick one for you that I think
is like even more than the other. But this is
what I was talking about when I was saying you
got to go deeper. Like the shopping is simply just
the symptom. So I want to start here and say,
(07:49):
if you are somebody who is struggling with like over
consuming overspending, your in chronic debt overspending.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That is just like the symptom.
Speaker 3 (07:58):
That's how underneath the surface are kind of showing up
in your external world. And it can always be boiled
down into something, and oftentimes it's both camps for people.
But it's something going on with your mindset that's kind
of like the first camp, and then the second camp
is the emotional side of the coin. It's something going
(08:20):
on with your emotions. Now, if I'm going to pick
one of those two that tends to be like the
deeper one, it's probably the emotional side of things. And
I think that's the mistake that a lot of people
make when they start digging into personal finance or like
learning about money is they think money is like super straightforward,
(08:41):
it's black and white, it's numbers, it's math, and yes,
of course that is a component of it, but especially
when it comes to your spending habits, so much of
what you do with your money can be tied back
to how you're feeling in the moment when the spending
is happening and occurring, or how you are wanting to
(09:03):
get yourself to feel after you buy and purchase something.
So there's kind of like, yeah, it's kind of like
the two camps. So what I see a lot is
what I kind of call the emotional shoppers, where you
find that you tend to do a lot of shopping
when you're sad, you're bored, you're insecure, you're lonely, you're
(09:24):
just fill in the blank, any type of negative emotion
that you're just like, ooh, this does not feel good.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I want to distract myself from this.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
I don't want to be present with this uncomfortable emotion,
so I'm going to go shop. So I say, like,
shopping's kind of like your emotional crutch. And then there's
the other side of the emotional coin, that has to
do a lot with wanting to essentially buy yourself an
emotional experience, and I think it's key that everyone understands it,
(09:53):
like that's what marketing is, Okay, Like marketing and advertising,
a lot of us think, oh, they're trying to sell
me a product, and yes, the product is like the
end thing that you're buying, But really what you're buying,
and really what marketing and advertising is selling you is
the promise of an emotion. So it's selling you confidence,
(10:13):
it's selling you worthiness, it's selling you success, it's selling
you the feeling of being on top of things and
the feeling of being organized. So there's like one side
of the camp where it's like I don't want to
have to sit with my uncomfortable emotions. Let me distract
myself and done myself. And then there's the side of
the coin where it's like I am under the assumption
(10:33):
that I can go out and buy my way to
feeling a certain way. And so getting your point, like
getting yourself to a point where you can understand your emotions,
be present with your emotions, not run away from your emotions.
And honestly, like this sounds very obvious, but you'd be
surprised at how many people don't realize this. It's like
(10:57):
the foundation, the full coverage foundation, ultimately is not going
to give you your self worth. The cute top is
not going to give you ultimately that deep sense of
like inner self worth and inner self confidence. Yeah, and
like I said, as crazy as it sounds, a lot
of people like we've just been trained to believe that
(11:18):
with marketing. That's what marketing is. It's like, buy my product,
feel a certain way. So when you can conster the
skill of emotions, like that's really the core of it.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
I think there's a couple of things that you said,
but I think one of the things that you said
that really really strikes me as kind of like I've
never heard it worded that way, but I definitely think
that there is something to that, to where marketing isn't
really just about marketing a product, but people are usually
marketing to promote a promise.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
And I'm like, yes.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
That that's a great word for it, promise.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
And it's also very scary because what we are buying
into our hollow promises because just like you said, you
buying that product is not going to cure your self worth.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
Issues.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
It's not going to fix your identity issues. It's definitely
not going to fix the overspending in the financial debt
that you have accrued throughout some time. But somewhere along
the line, we have bought into this narrative. We bought
into this belief that this product is a promise that
(12:28):
everything is going to be okay, that this product is
a promise that my life is going to be figured out.
Speaker 1 (12:35):
Now.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Granted, I love me a good product that actually works.
Give me some good face cleanser that's going to do
the job right, give me the right mess scare that's
going to look like I have extensions for day.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
Like, I love products that work right.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
So I'm not saying that, hey, don't buy the product
for things that you actually want right or things that
you feel like that you need. I think the problem
comes in is that when we're buying into a lie,
it's kind of like, I forget what scripture specifically it is,
but it says that they exchange the truth for a lie.
So it's kind of like in those exchanges, which is
(13:11):
so scary to think, and it's so quick and we
can do it so flimpant sometimes to where we can
very simply just buy into the lie.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
That if I achieve this, if I.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
Buy this, if I spend this, if I go here,
if I look this way, that everything will be fixed,
that I will be okay, that people will like me more,
that this will give the perception that everything is okay,
even if everything is falling apart behind the scenes. And
I think that we are at a place and this
(13:46):
is like when I was like, oh, that's a bar.
I think that we are at a place in this
season of a life where a lot of people to
where they have recognized they've come to the reality, to where,
oh my goodness, I've changed the truth for a lie.
I've bought into the lie about this hollow promise that
(14:06):
was never true. And now I've not only accrued debt,
which brings on shame and brings on condemnation because now
you're embarrassed. Now you're embarrassed that you believe the lie,
and now you're embarrassed that you have gotten yourself into
this financial stronghold, this financial debt, right, and the impacts
that that comes with because debt brings about other things
(14:28):
that can have long lasting effects. Let's just talk about
the reality and the practicality of what financial debt can
do to your to your credit, to your living to
just your just your life choices in general. So I
think that you bringing up that this is a this
is a bigger issue for us to really sit and
(14:50):
ask ourselves some hard questions and really do some searching
on the why and really paying attention. There is something specific,
and I just want to.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Be honest and testify about this, and I wanted to
share this.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I'm not going to say what the brand is, but
there is a brand that is very popular and I
have noticed that a lot of people have bought let's
say they're specific tumblers, Okay and right, okay, Uh, I'm
not shaping a gold record to say I personally don't
have an issue with the brand, but I noticed that
(15:27):
there is a lot of influencers, specifically a lot of
faith based influencers that I have seen with this product
right marketing it and all their stuff. And I don't
think it's because they have Granted, if you have a
brand deal, that's your business. But I don't think it's
because of the fact that they have a brand deal.
It's because when you see another influencer that is in
the same industry, the same marketing spaces. You you then
(15:50):
start accruing all of the same items that they have,
which is very interesting.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
This goes back to your social media. So I had this.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
I had this up for years. I've had people like,
have you got yours? Have you got your so and
so tumblr? Have not bought this tumblr?
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Right? Yeah, So I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
I had this moment where I was like, you know what,
maybe I just need to go ahead on and buy
this tumblr so that I have it as a staple
to like fit into this narrative of what every other
content creator is doing. But I'm gonna be honest with you.
I don't like the tumblr. I don't like the way
it looks me purposely, So I really sat here and thought,
(16:32):
then why would I purchase it?
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Exactly?
Speaker 2 (16:37):
Why would I purchase a product that I personally is
not my preference?
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Right?
Speaker 2 (16:44):
And then I was like, Wow, the only reason why
I would make that purchase is to be validated by
other people, other peers that oh my, oh oh she's
in the end, she knows right, or to have the
appearance of something.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
And I was like, this is such a slippery slope.
So in my mind, I was like, I'm not buying
this freaking dumbler, good for you. I'm just this is
what I personally.
Speaker 4 (17:16):
She'd showed me her water bottle right now, personally, this
is what I like and just want me to have, right, yes, yes, yes,
But the fact that this.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Is the part that was embarrassing to me, or that
I really had to take pause on honestly, page it
was the fact that I even had to sit and
contemplate about purchasing a product or an item that I personally,
just personal preference, did not care for. But clearly, my
(17:47):
friends are doing their job. They are great influencers because
they were they are doing their jobs. But the only
reason why I would purchase it is because I was
influenced by someone else.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Telling me that I should, and how how dangerous that is.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
So I also think that there is another level of
this as well, to where maybe we are such not
only a deprived generation and exchanging truth for a lie,
but we are so easily influenced to where we're not
even taking stock and inventor Do do you.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Really want that shirt? Yeah? Want total glasses? Do you
want that car? Like? Do you want those shoes?
Speaker 4 (18:30):
Like?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Do you actually personally like it. Does it fit your
your style choice that you like or is it the
fact that you've seen everybody else on social media buying
the same item, so you feel pressure to do the
thing because maybe if you buy this item, this will
actually increase your viewship, maybe it will increase your likes.
(18:52):
So then we're talking about more of the validation that
we need, which is a bigger issue. So what I've
learned earned and kind of like witness And I'm very
curious because I know that you kind of like have courses,
you do the workshops, and you.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
Are like coaching people through this.
Speaker 2 (19:09):
Yeah, do you have people that are saying like and
that would be a very hard thing to admit, But
I am curious if you've had this that people say
all the debt that I accrued was really about me
just being influenced by other people to buy things.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
It wasn't even stuff that I do you understand what
I'm saying?
Speaker 2 (19:31):
People people buying a car that they can't afford, but
they actually need the car.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
I possibly can make some type of sense of that.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Like, hey, maybe maybe we should have worked on the car,
Maybe we should have thought this out on how we
could possibly afford this car, because you do need a car.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
But what about I've just bought.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Trips and bags and shoes because other people influenced me
to do it. I don't even really know if I
care about any of these items, but I have a
crew twenty thousand dollars of debt just because I was
influenced by other people.
Speaker 1 (20:01):
Have you seen this every day? I see it every day.
Speaker 3 (20:06):
Wow, I see it all the time every day, And
you're absolutely right, Like, I feel like I have a
very unique lens into things like this because you're absolutely right,
no one I one of the things that I'm most
proud of, I'll say this, one of the things that
I'm most proud of in my work is that I
feel like I have created, truly, like probably one of
(20:29):
the few if only places that's an online community where
somebody can safely come in and.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Not confess confess.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Isn't the good word, but just own that this is
their this is their situation. Like, not only am I
in debt, but this is why I got myself in debt,
And so I feel like I hear people saying this
all the time.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
But again, it's because of my work and what I do.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
But I feel like, you know, anyone who's not in
my community or anyone just kind of out there is like,
oh my gosh, is that really true?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Is that?
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Is that actually happening? And I want to say, it
is happening so much more than you even realize. And
I think you hit the nail on the head with
this validation piece. And honestly, us spending our money not
ultimately for ourselves, but for other people, So we are
spending it on ourselves. Like to your point, let's go
(21:24):
back to your templar example. Right, the tumbler would have
been for you. It would have been it would have
been your tumbler, and you used to it, right, but
it really would have been, like it really wouldn't have
been for you.
Speaker 1 (21:35):
It would have been to show other people, right.
Speaker 3 (21:39):
And this is something that is called conspicuous consumption, which
basically means that you use your spending to signal something
about yourself to other people. And this is what I
always say, I'm like, spending is the language of money.
Spending is a form of communication. It's how you show
the world who you are, how you be yourself, how
(22:00):
you want the world to view you. Spending is the
language of money. Now, the problem is that a lot
of us are using our money to try to buy
the eyeballs of other people. The attention, the validation, the praise,
the oohs and ahs that oh my god, where did
you get that? Oh my god, you look so cute
from other people? And I think, especially as women, it's like,
(22:21):
how much stake are we putting in that?
Speaker 2 (22:24):
Right?
Speaker 3 (22:24):
How much of the outfit are you actually buying because
you love it, versus like, Oh, I just want I
just want to go to dinner with the girls and
have them telling me the whole time I'm at dinner
how cute I look. Or I just want to walk
into the office and have everybody compliment with just you know,
complimenting my outfit all day.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
And so a question I'll give you.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I'll give you two questions that kind of popped up
when you were talking about that. One question that I
always challenge people this to kind of filter your purchases through.
And this doesn't have to be like for everything. It
doesn't have to be like for groceries and more kind
of like everyday things. But to your point, for the
clothes and the tumblers and this and that and whatever,
and especially stuff that you're seeing on social media. Ask
(23:05):
yourself the question, if no one could see that I
had this, If, like I was going to to your point,
if I was going to buy this tumblr and no
one ever saw me drink out of it, I couldn't
like show it off to people and be like, Oh,
here's my tumbler, look at me. I'm part of the crew.
I'm part of the gang. I got my tumblr right.
If no one could actually see that you owned this tumbler,
would you even care, Like, would you even be considering
(23:27):
buying it? Would you even be thinking about making this purchase.
I think your example is perfect because I think, like,
if you were to answer that question about the tumbler,
the answer would clearly be no. Like, the only reason
I'm thinking about this is because I want people to
see me carrying it around. I want people to see
me drinking out of it, because it says something about
(23:47):
who I am as a person to be holding the tumblr,
to be drinking out of the tumblr. And I think
there's a big part of it too. I think you
just have to understand our wiring and programming as human beings.
In a very primal sense, we are very like pack mentality.
We like abandonment, isolation, being left outside of the group
(24:09):
and the crowd being left behind. That's a very real
thing when it comes to your purchases, like how much.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
How much spending have you done?
Speaker 3 (24:17):
How many things have you bought simply because you just
didn't want to be left out, simply because you just
didn't want to be the only one without it. And
especially if you were somebody who as a child, maybe
you were in a situation where you were told know
a lot, or maybe your family just didn't have the
financial resources to, you know, buy you the latest sneakers
or buy you the latest that, and you had to
(24:39):
go to school and everybody had the cute backpack or
everybody had this or that and you were the only
one without it. I can't tell you how many how
many women I work with that are like I was
just told know a lot as a kid, or like
my mom and dad couldn't afford to buy me the
things that all the other kids had. So then I
became an adult and I started making my own money,
and it was like bohoo, like I'm gonna I was
told know so much as a kid. I'm never going
(25:00):
to tell myself no, as an adult, so you have
to kind of That's why I'm saying that things are deeper.
Another question, one more question I want to offer, which
this is more of a cheeky one, but I think
it's a good one too, is the question do I
really want it? Or do I just keep seeing it
on social media? Like marketing? Yeah, it's like do it.
(25:21):
It's like do I really want it? Or like, have
I just seen this like a thousand times on TikTok
And as a byproduct of seeing it every other video
on TikTok shop or seeing it in every influencer's Amazon storefront,
now I've somehow convinced myself that I want it or
need it, And I'll leave this part of the conversation
with this.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
This is something I say a lot to the women
in my community.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
I say, someone else having something that you don't doesn't
automatically create the need for you to have it as well.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Like other people can.
Speaker 3 (25:52):
Have things that you do not have and you can
simply just admire it with them having it and you
not having it. Right, someone else having something that you
do not does not automatically create the need for you
to need it as well.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
So good. So anyways, I see it all the time.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
I think that I think that example that you gave
is like spot on just to kind of pinpoint this
thing of like how much of my spending am I
really truly doing for me versus like actually doing it
for other people?
Speaker 1 (26:23):
Love this.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
I also think the reality of this is is that
this goes beyond just spending on like the practical things
of like you know, clothes and shoes.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
And trips and things like that.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
When you talk about looking on social media and seeing
what other people have, you can see that also resonate
in relationships. You know, when singles see other people that
are are married or or you know, newly married people
see people with kids. You start there is it creates
a desire, This is what I feel. It creates a
(26:57):
desire of the fear of missing out. People don't talk
about it too much, but fomo still exists in different areas,
in different ways.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
It still exists.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
So I definitely think that this is something questions that
you just presented and prompted. I definitely think hopefully people
that are listening if you're driving, make sure that you
go back, replay this and write these questions down for
you actually to sit back and just really ask yourself,
like when it comes to your spending habits, when it
comes to the decisions that you're making for what you're buying,
(27:30):
really checking the intentions behind what we're buying, and maybe
you're saying like, hey, it's not that serious. It's a tumbler,
it's a shirt, it's a shoe. I will say this,
anything that starts popping up that has adverse impacts on
your life is a big deal. And when I say ye,
long lasting impacts. Your financial spending has a long lasting
(27:54):
impact on your life on how you view money right,
how you look at it, how you view it, how
you view it and see it in others.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
That has an impact.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
So it is worth sitting down and really intentionally asking
yourself this question. One of the last questions I have
for you, page is that when you talk about your
personal testimony of kind of like really having that moment
of kind of like sitting down and looking and taking
stock and inventory.
Speaker 1 (28:23):
Once you feel like that you have gotten.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Over the compulsive overspending, I'm curious to know if there.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
Was any aspects of I don't want. The word that
comes to mind is like delayed recovery.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
But I'm very curious on when you felt like, oh,
I no longer have the compulsion, but I second guessed
myself when I need to buy something. Was there a
point in your journey to where you were no longer
compulsively but then when you would see something that came
up unless that it had a big price tag on it, right,
(29:07):
and you weren't compulsively just shopping, shopping, shopping, but something
came up and you were like, you know what I
want that I'm going to buy that.
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Did you have.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
Any residue of guilt or shame on? I don't know,
like is it creeping back up or did you feel
like No, I was able to take stock and inventory
of the feeling and the emotion of when I was
buying to where this was a clear choice that I
was making out of a place of need and that
I wanted, and not out of a place of insecurity
(29:36):
and some unpresented desire that came from seeing what someone
else had. I'm just curious, was it immediate for you
or was there a space?
Speaker 3 (29:46):
Well, there is definitely I would say that from kind
of the moment that I decided Okay, I've got to
do something about this to having a moment where I
felt like, Okay, I feel like I'm a totally and
completely different person now with my spending habit. It's I
want to be honest and say that that process like
certainly did not happen overnight. I mean that was probably
like a twelve to eighteen month process gap between those
(30:11):
two things, because I think what a lot of people
don't understand is like, once you get into the habit
of shopping consistently, it just becomes like, you know, it's
it's the same thing as you know, if you're a
smoker wanting to have cigarettes every day, or you know,
having your having your diet coke at the same time
every day. Like stuff just becomes like so ingrained in
(30:33):
habitual to us that when you change that, it can
certainly take time for that to change. So it probably
was a solid like twelve to eighteen months before I
was like, Okay, I finally feel like that urge that
I feel and I call it the urge to splurge, right,
that urge to splurge is like no longer like gripping
me on a on a daily basis. To your point, though,
(30:56):
I think you bring up a really good point because
I feel like this one, this one's tough. I think
a lot of people don't realize this. Like to me,
I'm like money and food are the two hard ones
because these are two things that you pretty much have
to live your life with, Like you gotta eat. So
if you've struggled with maybe binge eating in the past
(31:18):
or disordered eating in the past, food isn't something that
you can just be like, Okay, I'm just never gonna
eat again, versus maybe something like alcohol. Right, Like when
you're changing behaviors with alcohol, Let's use that as an example.
Abstaining is an option, like you being like I just
don't have to touch another drop of alcohol for the
rest of my life, if that's what I choose to do.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Spending's not that way.
Speaker 3 (31:39):
You're like, I gotta spend money, like I'm gonna have
to do this to be operating in society. So to
your point when you were asking about like does the
shame or the guilt come up or maybe like second
guessing myself, what I've done which has been the most
helpful to me is putting systems, and I just call
them like financial boundaries place for myself that I follow
(32:03):
which give me permission to spend. And I want to
make this clear too, like, I still spend money. I
think a lot of people hear my brand and they think, oh,
the goal of what you do is to get people
to stop spending money.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That's not what I do at all.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
I'm trying to get you to spend money in a
way that is serving you, that's helping you, that's actually
making your life better, versus spending that's driving you into debt,
that's creating tension in your relationships, that's you know, separating
you from from feeling and connecting with your emotions, trying
to buy things that you can't buy. So I actually say, like,
(32:39):
the goal is to be an intentional spender, a skilled spender,
and in order to do that, you have to be
spending money. You can't be a skilled spender and not
be spending any money.
Speaker 1 (32:49):
But what being.
Speaker 3 (32:49):
An intentional or a skilled spender means is that you
have a system, You have financial boundaries in place, and
so that's what I use and rely on to make
my spending choices honestly, really easy, and it takes away
a lot of that guilt and shame. So I'll give
you a couple examples. For instance, I always go into
(33:14):
a month with what I call a money map. That's
just what I call a budget. People hate the word budget,
so I'm like, fine, we'll call it something else.
Speaker 1 (33:20):
Let's call it. Let's call it a money map, because
that's truly what I think that it is.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
I'm like, listen, it's just it's basically like where am
I now? Where do I want to get to? What
are the directions? What are the steps to get there?
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Right?
Speaker 3 (33:31):
So, going into a month, I always have a money
map for how much money I'm going to have coming
in and where I'm planning to deploy that money too.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
Now, it never goes perfectly. It never does.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
I've never made a money map for myself and like
nailed it specifically.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
But that's step.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
One of just going into a month, or you could
even do this by like pay period, just to say like,
this is what's coming in and I know exactly what
I'm gonna be doing with this money. The second thing
I do is I implement with things that are kind
of outside of that, that are more like unusual. So
I'm not saying you have to do this with like
groceries and putting gas in your car and like running
(34:07):
through Chick fil A, right, But a seventy two hour
rule for your purchases.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I can't even tell you. It sounds so simple, but
it truly is.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
One of the most effective things to do is to
give yourself pause. And especially like I was saying at
the beginning of the episode, how fast our consumption has
become like your purchases, and your consumption is literally like
one click away, hours away from being on your doorstep
right and days like you know, two days at max.
(34:37):
In a lot of cases, our consumption has sped up
and become so fast that even just taking some time
to slow yourself down does wonders. So I have a
seventy two hour rule. And I also have a rule
that anything that I want to buy, I add it to.
Some people call it a wish list. I call it
at things I want to buy list. But it's basically
(34:57):
like I keep.
Speaker 1 (34:58):
Mine in notion.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
You can do it in your note you can do
it in a notebook, but just like keeping a list
of things that you want to buy in one place.
Because I can't even tell you how many things that
get added to that list in the moment, like when
my brain is like really excited and really hyper about it.
Like if I see something on social media, I'll snap
a screenshot of it add it to the list. Or
(35:19):
if I'm in target, I'll take a picture of it.
I'll add it to the list. Half the things that
go on the list, maybe even more than half. I
never end up buying because once I give myself distance
in space and I let my brain cool off of it,
my brain's like, oh yeah, no, no, no, like we're good,
we don't really need that thing. A couple of a
couple other things, a couple other boundaries that I put
(35:40):
into place. I don't do any and again take this
one or leave this one. Some people are like, I
could never do that, but it works for me. I
never do any shopping on my phone, Like I'm not
gonna I don't buy things on my like I either
buid it in person or I have to come into
my office down in front of my desktop computer and
(36:02):
buy it online. I think just I think shopping on
phones has just become like way too quick and way
too easy. I have a couple of exceptions to that rule, like,
for instance, like buying my coffee pods on off of Amazon.
I'll do that, but it's always exception to like, yeah,
if there's anything like out of the ordinary, like oh
I really want to go buy that top, Oh I
(36:23):
really want to go buy that planner. Whatever it is. Like,
it's like we either do it in person or we
do it on my computer.
Speaker 1 (36:30):
I don't. I don't spend any money.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
If I've been consuming any sort of alcohol, that's another
big one. The ladies are like, ooh, you know, I
you know, I get I get a little click happy,
like I'll crack open the bottle of wine and I'll
pull up Amazon. So it's like if I've been if
I've had you know, any any you know, margarita, glass
(36:54):
of wine, whatever it is, it's like, I just I
know my I know my inhibitions have just drastically been reduced,
and I just don't. I don't go shopping, I don't
go online, I don't go shopping. I just don't do it.
So those are the boundaries that work for me. But
just because they work for me, I'm not saying that
everybody needs to do those and adopt those. I think
the important thing for each one of us to slow
(37:16):
down and think through is where are the areas of
my spending where things are happening really fast, things are
happening really impulsively, even just going and looking, pulling up
a a your your last bank statement, your last one
or two bank statements, with a highlighter, and literally just
(37:36):
going and highlighting anything that you bought that you're like.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Why did I do this? Like I don't remember I
bought that.
Speaker 3 (37:43):
I don't I don't remember it. I wish I didn't
buy this thing. I'm not sure why, or like I
bought it and I haven't even used it. I haven't
even warned it. I haven't even cracked it open, and
just see if you can see any patterns, like is
there a pattern in the product category? Is there a
pattern how you were feeling? Is there a pattern in
you know to your point, was this all stuff on
(38:05):
my phone? Was it when I had been drinking or
you know whatever, Like just are there any patterns that
you can see in the purchases that you're making that
you don't feel good about after the fact, And then
asking are there any financial boundaries that I can put
in place for myself to make my purchasing decisions easier
(38:25):
and feel better and where I don't have this regret
I don't have this like spending crash after the fact,
So those are doing that for yourself is like one
of the kindest things you can do.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
It. People think, oh, this.
Speaker 3 (38:39):
Sounds this sounds like like I don't like the rules,
I don't like the restriction. I don't view it that way.
I'm like, these are these are my guidelines, right. It's
it's kind of like these are the bumpers. You know,
like when you go bowling and you put up the
bumpers for the little kids. It's like, these are just
my spending bumpers, right. They keep the ball in the lane,
keep it on tracks so that I don't fall into
the gutter.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
Yeah, And that's how they are. They're just love bumpers.
I love this.
Speaker 2 (39:04):
I will say, if I'm going to be completely honest
and transparent, this is probably the first year that I
have not had debt. And there's two things that you
said that I would say actually helped me with that.
If I'm going to be completely honest. The first one
is is that I really had to practice being able
to pause and really ask myself do I need this?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
What is it for? And can it wait? Right?
Speaker 2 (39:33):
Like, what is the need where I need to buy
this right now. When I really got into the habit
of pausing, I really noticed there was probably about seventy
percent of things that I would have said yes to
before I now say no to. And to your point,
(39:56):
that doesn't mean that I don't shop. That doesn't mean
that I don't buy, that doesn't mean that I don't
still like nice things. But I can say now that
a solid ninety percent of what I am buying I
am intentionally buying for a need or I'm intentionally saying no,
actually I don't need it. So that was one the
(40:16):
other thing that really had me start the conversation on
how do am I, how do I truly get out
of debt, and what do I really need to focus on.
The pattern check was huge for me, and I started
in twenty twenty. I started going through my bank statements
and I started highlighting the habitual purchases that I was
(40:40):
making and where the money was going to, and do
you want to know my number one where it was going?
And I was kind of like, maybe we were saying, oh,
it was during the pandemic, that makes sense, Okay, my
number one purchase was going to food, Yeah, was going
to the coffee runs, the quick, the eating.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
Owl, just through delivery, mood delivery.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Like when I started highlighting and really calculating, it was
hundreds of dollars a week.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
This is hundreds of dollars. This is thousands of dollars
a month. When I started noticing that pattern, I said.
Speaker 2 (41:21):
This is a hard pass for me. This is a
hard no. Because sometimes we can talk about, man, it
looks so impossible to get out of debt, it looks
so impossible to be able to start having healthy relationship
with money. It looks impossible. But sometimes with a quick
pause and a check of a pattern, it can change
(41:43):
your life.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
Truly. Yes, yes, I really just want to say thank
you so much.
Speaker 2 (41:50):
Thank you for not only coming on the podcast and
sharing your personal testimony, but I really want to say
thank you for the brand and the business that you
have is something that I just don't feel like it's fleeting.
And I don't say that casually, especially in the space
of social media and marketing. I really do think that
we're just seeing the beginning of you really being able
(42:11):
to counsel and coach people through this, because I do
think that we're walking into a time and season to
where there are so many people that on their prayer
list is buy a home, it's do all these things,
being able to afford trips with families, but the reality
of it is budget wise or financially, they cannot swing it,
and they're really asking the Lord how. And I truly
(42:32):
believe it's through people like you, just offering practical solutions
but being so transparent and honest on.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
How to approach it.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
One of the things that I've noticed that people that
have a gift to make things look super small. I
noticed it and my husband when I was dating him.
It's one of the reasons why I married him. And
this probably has something to do with it, but probably not.
This is what I say, because he is a certified
pass he was raised as a PK. But I never
(43:03):
met someone that made sin seem so small and got
so big because I was raised where sin seems so
huge to people. And he was like, and that's the
lie and the trick. So he was like, when you
see people that just make the problem look small and
the solution big, those are usually the people that you
should pay attention to and you make overspending seem so
(43:30):
small when it comes to actually just hey, it's just
these quick notes apply where needed, ask the questions, and
let's see the growth and.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
The productivity in that.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
And I think for people that are listening, they definitely
need to check you out and know that you have,
you know, workshops and things that you're doing. You also
have the money Love Podcast. So while we wrap this up,
I definitely just want you to tell people where they
can find you and what you have coming up to
where they can just learn more about.
Speaker 1 (43:57):
What you have going on.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
Yeah, yeah, no, thank you. Well, first of all, thank
you for all those kind words. That's just so nice
and just so encouraging to hear, and so I just
I really appreciate it. So where to find me? I
obviously you're you're a podcast person if you're here listening
to this. So I have a podcast myself. It's called
the Money Love Podcast. It's been out for about four
(44:21):
years now. So there's plenty of episodes for you to
come and get caught up on. So you can find
that anywhere that you listen to your podcasts on social media,
most active on Instagram and TikTok. My handles are at overcoming, underscore, overspending,
and then if this is an area that you're like,
this is this is somewhere where I really want to
(44:44):
focused and invest my energy and resources into improving. I
have a monthly membership, which is where I do all
of my coaching, so I don't do any one on
one coaching anymore. I do all of my coaching in
side the membership. But you can learn more about that
at Overcoming Overspending dot com forward slash membership. We do
(45:06):
like ten calls a month, so we do a lot
of calls. There's a lot of coaching. We meet like
two or three times a week. And it's like I
was saying at the beginning, it really is like I
truly view it as a community, and it really is
like one of the most supportive, in my opinion, money
communities out there.
Speaker 1 (45:28):
I always like to tell people this.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
I would say, to your point, when you were talking
about getting out of debt, I would say, eighty to
ninety percent of the women in my community are in
debt due to their overspending. So I always say, like,
if you're struggling with this, if you're in debt because
of this, this is your place, Like you will be welcomed.
You don't have to hide, you don't have to be embarrassed.
We talk about it all openly. You can get the
(45:53):
support there that you feel like you might not be
able to get in your other circles, or or you
just feel like you can't be open and honest about
it in your other circles. So yeah, that's where you
can come join us.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
I love that. Guys.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode
of the k WATS Podcast. Definitely make sure that you
go and follow Page on all social media handles. Go
check out her podcast, The Money Love Podcast. Again, Page,
thank you so much for showing up and sharing today.
It was an honor and a pleasure to have you truly,
thank you for having.
Speaker 1 (46:23):
Me of course.
Speaker 2 (46:24):
Okay, guys, until next time, you know where to find
me at imkwats for personal at kwats podcast for the podcast.
Make sure that you like, share and subscribe, and until
next time, be blessed.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.