April 4, 2024 • 49 mins
How do you mature spiritually? Featuring Kashawn Watson In this episode of "The Kay Wats Podcast", Kay shares her takeaways from Q1 and the questions she's presented to God regarding friendship, forgiveness, and faithfulness. She shares how she's navigating embracing new things and people and how she's prioritizing stewardship this season.
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(00:02):
Hey, guys, Welcome to theKWATS podcast. I'm your host, Kashawn
Watson, but you know me ask Watts and I'm super excited that you
decided to join me today. Thisis the podcast where we chat about the
questions we ask God, we sharetestimonials about healing, wholeness, and forgiveness.
It doesn't matter what season of lifeyou may be in or the journey
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you may be currently walking through.I know that this podcast will bless you.
At the end of the episode.If you feel like that this has
done exactly what I said, definitelyhit that like button, comment share,
don't forget to subscribe again. Welcometo the KWATS podcast. All right,
guys, So we're back with anall new episode of the k WOTS podcast,
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and I'm super excited about this week'sepisode because it is actually the season
finale, and I couldn't think ofa better way to end the season with
us just recapping kind of like keytakeaways from the episodes of the season,
but then also kind of like jumpinginto some questions that you guys have sent
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me through DMS, emails, comments, So I just can't wait to kind
of like dive in one Welcome toQ two. How is that even possible?
Oh Man? Oh Man. WhenI was in corporate, Q two
meant something different than what it meansnow, And I think that's important to
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take into considerations some stock and inventoryof when seasons change, and when positions
change, and when you're in adifferent you know, season, a place
in your life. Sometimes what meantone thing in one season doesn't always mean
the same thing. So a lotof times for Q two, it was
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time to kind of like one,get the team and our staff repped up
and get them excited about all thethings they did in the first quarter,
you know, highlighting and celebrating allof their wins, but then also highlighting
certain areas of opportunities that could beworked on. And that was kind of
like my job for a long periodof time. So now fast forwarding into
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I am this year will make sevenyears. That's so crazy to even think
about seven years out of corporate,seven years like being in this entrepreneurial,
creative space, which I'm if youwant to really be honest, I'm still
getting used to it. I don'tknow if other people can relate, but
(02:44):
it's definitely taking some adjusting and forme in this season. I want to
say Quarter two has represented like acouple of things. One. I do
still take stock an inventory of winsin successes in areas where I saw victory
one hundred and ten percent, becauseI think that it's necessary to sit back
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and not despise the small things thatcould just be Like, but I had
a couple, and a couple ofthem was that I wanted to get back
into a consistent workout schedule four tofive times a week, and could I
commit to that and your girl,Okay, I am pleased to tell you
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that your girl has achieved that one. Like that goal for Q one was
met and checked, and even thoughwe are only a couple of days into
Q two, I am happy toreport that we are still on the upward.
Okay, we are still striving andtaking it day by day and breking
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this thing out with the health andfitness goals. So yeah, for those
that may not have known, lastsummer, I did have to go through
surgery and it really the healing processreally kind of like had me sitting quite
a bit. So I really hadn'tfelt even though I felt like my body
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had healed, I don't really knowif I pushed myself past any type of
physical limits, just trying to bea good steward over what it taken place.
And even though I felt like sograteful to see restoration in my body,
I was ready to kind of likethis year to really push my body
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to certain limits that I hadn't pushedit to in years. So yeah,
all right, well let's move pastme and my own fitness and health goals,
unless you guys DM and say,hey, let's talk more about it.
I am totally down to continue totalk about it other things. You
know. Recently relocated to Nashville,Tennessee, and the update is still the
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same. Love it here, Loveit here. And one of the goals
that I had is that I reallywanted to make myself present and available locally.
That's one of the tough things thatI found myself because I've lived so
many places, and one of thethings that I really, I don't want
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to say pride myself on, butreally was like, you know what,
even though I leave a city ormove to a new city, I really
wanted to do my best to stewartthe relationships that I built in that city.
And if you've done this before,then you know how hard it is
sometimes to stuart what is right infront of you versus still trying to stewart,
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you know, maybe people that areno longer in close proximity. So
I really spent, you know,to the best of my ability during the
pandemic and us being in quarantine tocultivate relationships that were no longer at the
forefront of like in the fifteen minuteradius. But I also felt like while
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I was able to do that,like I am happy to say that I've
been able to maintain a lot ofmy long distance relationships, and I'm just
I shocked myself, but I stillhave calls and meetups and check ins and
all of the things. But Ialso think that that has also come at
the expense of not being able tosteward community that is staring me right in
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my face on a daily or weeklybasis. So I really really have been
praying and asking the Lord to helpme to be able to steward what was
close to me, what was inthe vicinity. I didn't want to miss
anything. I didn't want to missa blessing or an opportunity to minister to
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someone or to be ministered to bysomeone. And when I tell you that
this first quarter, like this,these first couple of months in twenty twenty
four, I mean, your girlhas just been blown away about the people
that I've met, the beginning stagesof just really igniting a great friendship,
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but then also God just using peoplejust to give me encouraging words and sweet
prophetic words just to affirm things thatthese people don't know me. Clearly,
I've been here for sixty days,but the word that God has given them
to share with me are things thatI have been stewarding over the last decade,
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over the last five years. Sohe's just so kind and so sweet
that he is affirming you're right whereyou're supposed to be, doing exactly what
you're supposed to be doing. Andjust so you just know that I'm not
playing messing with you or forsaking you. I'm gonna send you a friend,
and this friend is going to confirmexactly what I've already spoken to you.
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So I'm I'm just grateful for beingable to steward what's been local and to
receive from people that are new.That's the thing. Being able to receive
from new people. How do wedo that? Yeah? Yeah, I
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didn't want to completely dive into that, but that is one of the questions
that came up to unpack on thisepisode, so maybe I should just go
there. So one of the thingsthat if you are following me on Instagram,
hey, if you're not, there'sstill time, okay personal at I
amk Watts and the podcast Instagram isat k watts podcast, So go ahead
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and do that, like follow rightnow. But if you have been followed
along in the instant story, thenyou know that I had really posted a
question which I also shared in theepisode with my husband about something that I've
been really processing a thought which wasin how to steward friendships, how to
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stewart relationships, but not only howto stewart them, but I think it's
hard to stewart something that you haven'tperceived accurately. Let's unpack that a little
bit. I think one of thethings that I found in my own life
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and that has been dealt with dealingwith family members, friends, any dynamics,
even co workers, And when Ifind myself not being able to stewart
the relationship, well, it usuallygoes back to me not perceiving the relationship
accurately. And I think that sometimeswe don't perceive what is actually taking place
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in that relationship, in that encounter, in that experience. So because we
haven't perceived it accurately, it's veryhard for us to steward it. Well.
Like I'm reminded of the scripture,when God says that He's doing a
new thing, do you not perceiveit as if that it's easy for God
to do new things in our lives. And we do not interpret it as
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a new thing. We do notsee the thing sprouting up. We do
not see that it's God doing thenew thing. So that lets me know
that we are able to miss it, interpret or perceive a thing. And
I have found in my own lifethat when I miss interpret a thing,
that it's hard for me to stewardwhat the thing is. And that could
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be a relationship, a business,a job, a position, all the
things. So when it's come torelationships and friendships, I really have gone
back. And of course, youknow, one of the goals that I
had for the new year was tostart reading the Bible from cover to cover,
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and I'm still doing that. Iam currently in the Book of Joshua.
And let me just tell you,your girls' mind's been blown, okay
below the entire time, the entiretime, because I'm just in awe of
God. I'm in awe of ourlineage, what we come from. I'm
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in awe of how I've misinterpreted theWord of God so much in my Christian
walk. I am in awe ofkey things that I've missed the first time
I may have read a scripture ora passage. So if you haven't done
it, I encourage you to doit, because you know, there's always
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something new that you can get outof rereading God's word because it's the living
word, you know, so itwill speak directly to you. But one
of the things that I've really beenpaying attention to is Jesus's relationships with the
disciples as he was in human formon earth. And we talk about Jesus
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being in human form on earth andso many different regards and why he would
do that, how powerful it isthat he did that and gave us an
example of walking life out, andhow many things that he encountered, the
obstacles that he had to overcome,and still at the end ended up dying
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for our sins and then rising again, you know, like a promise was
made and his promise was kept.And if that ain't something that I was
literally just sitting with all Resurrection weekend, like I think that that's so powerful
for us to really sit back andthink about, Like the promises are never
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in vain. And when I'm lookingat scripture, the Bible says that every
single promise that got made to theIsraelites he fulfilled. There wasn't one promise
that failed. There wasn't one thingthat he said that did not come to
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pass. A promise was made andhis promise was kept. Period. And
if he did it, then thenhe's doing it now and he'll do it
forever more because that's just who heis. Again, I've been in awe
of that, and was in aweof that all Resurrection weekend, just sitting
in the fact that our God neverfails, His word never comes back void,
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like come on, the piece youreceive when you really believe that is
unmatched. But the other part wasme really just sitting back and just watching
Jesus's encounter with the disciples, andspecifically, for whatever reason, as I'm
watching this and reading this, Iam highlighting the relationship that he have with
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Peter because I'm sitting back, andI'm just like wow, Like Peter has
been around literally with Jesus since thebeginning of his walk to really just go
and do his ministry. Like youknow, Peter was, you know,
one of the first disciples to kindof like join Jesus in his journey to
walk this thing out to the cross. And when I look at this relationship,
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I see so many things. Isee Peter's willingness to follow Jesus and
his revelation that Jesus is the Messiah. But then I also see human moments
in Peter of him not wanting Jesusto leave him, and even to a
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certain extent, like we know thepassage that is very, very popular when
Jesus tells Peter to get behind himand literally calls him Satan. I'm gonna
be real with you, I don'tknow how many friends I have, Okay,
how many of them that I couldliterally say get behind me, Satan,
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and they would still be my friend. I'm just saying I don't have
a lot of friends that would allowme to call them out in that way,
like rebuke them in that way,and then that relationship not only remains
the same, but they're still willingto follow in whatever direction I'm going.
If they're on this journey with me, you know, a lot of the
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relationships, there has to be alevel of I don't know, I don't
I don't have the right word atthis point, but I'm just saying when
I looked at the the realness thatJesus had with Peter throughout every single transition,
every single private conversation, every singlemoment of Peter pulling him aside and
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being like, listen, you don'thave to do this, you should you
can't leave us. What do youmean? This can't be right, and
Jesus having a look at him andsay get behind me, Satan like come
on, I AnyWho, Okay,I just I'm still processing that as I'm
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saying it with you guys, andthen to take it another another step.
Peter then says, I I willnever deny you right now. This is
the thing you ever hear old school, like, I think. I don't
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know if everybody else had a mamathat said it, but my mom used
to say this to me ever sinceI was in school when I used to
have problems, and I'm talking aboutelementary school, middle school, when you
come home and you complain about theproblems that you have with your friends.
My mom would always say this lineto me. She would say, if
you can leave this life and havethree real friends, consider yourself lucky.
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And she was like, the personthat you think will never do it will
usually be the person that does it. And those are things that she used
to say to me, and I, you know, used to read that
into like, wait, what Ican only have three but I have so
many friends? What do I dowith all these friends? And now having
like revelation and context on why shesaid that, like, I get that,
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Like what you define as a friendin elementary school, in middle school,
or even in college may look alittle bit different on what you define
as a friend as a thirty,forty or fifty year old woman. But
not only that, what you defineas a friend before actually having a relationship
with Jesus and then after probably looksvastly different. So the definition of what
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a friend is probably I can saythat I have had very few and I've
asked myself and the Lord and praythis prayer that I want to be able
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to sit at a table comfortably.I must listen sit at a table comfortably
with a friend that I've known fora very long time that may betraying me
at a very very important and sensitivetime in my life. A person that
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will sell me out for you know, something so small, an opportunity to
get in a room, or justan opportunity, right, a friend that
has questioned or doubted that I amwho I say that I am, and
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sit at a table and be ableto eat with them and still minister to
them and still love them well.Like I want to be spiritually mature enough
to be able to do that.And I don't know if if that's like
not realistic that the only person thatcan do that well is the Messiah.
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But I do believe that God gaveus the example of Jesus living his life
this way for us to be ableto say that you were made in that
image. So I should be ableto sit at a table and break bread
with people that may not always havethe best interest of the Lord in my
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life, in mind that every commentor suggestion or opinion that they have may
not be a thus saith the Lord. But am I still able to break
bread with them? Am I stillable to love them well? Am I
still able to show up and tominister to them, pray for them,
encourage them, and still just behonest and be like, hey, there
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may be a moment and a timeto where you're unable to show up whole
that you're unable to show up faithfully, that you're unable to show up,
and just try us the word ofthe Lord over your life and in my
life and lead from that place.But even with that, I'm still able
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to sit with you and love youlike I want to be comfortable to do
that because I'm gonna be honest withyou. I have sat at many tables
with enemies, quite a few notknowing it at the time. I just
want to go on record like thisisn't like I show up to tables and
I'm goind like, yeah, likethese people don't like me. But I
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have been at a couple of tablesthat were quite uncomfortable in rooms and situations
with people that I knew did notlike me, I knew didn't want me
there, and I shrunk. Ifound myself getting angry, I found myself
getting insecure. I started doubting whyI was even in the room. I
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started doubting the relationship with the person. And I think even more importantly,
I really started doubting what my assignmentwas in that moment. And the thing
that I love about the story ofJesus is that he was never confused or
swayed on what the assignment was.He knew that he was sent there to
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die for us, to give hislife for us, and even when it
was uncomfortable, and even when hejust kind of like was like, God,
if you could take this from me, please do if it is your
will, he was never confused onthe assignment though. And I'll find myself
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saying, like, even if I'min a room sitting at a table eating
with people that really don't get it, because I don't know if all of
them got it, Lord, letme be so sure in your word and
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so sure and what the assignment isthat even at a table with friends or
enemies, the assignment just don't change. So Yeah, that was one of
the things that I've been praying on. And one of the questions that someone
presented this week was do we alwaysthink that Judas from the beginning was an
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enemy of Jesus? And the Biblerefers to Judas is even when they start
saying who the disciples were at theend, when they say Judas, to
say Judas, who becomes a traitorlike straight like that, like that's what
he's known for. So I don'tknow if he was always an enemy,
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but I always think that there probablywas some level of treachery going on that,
you know, you gotta everybody hasa friend to where there's always some
level of treachery going on, likesome mess people like No, I don't
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got no judases around. I don'tknow, I don't know. I think
there's at least one, okay aroundsomewhere close. They got some level of
treachery going on that you may noteven know about. But you know,
other people's thoughts sometimes ain't our business, right, But the Lord knows their
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thoughts towards us, And the Lordknows their thoughts, knows their thoughts towards
our business and our well being andour families and our homes and our marriages.
And the truth of the matter isthat before Judas made the decision to
betray Jesus, he had to thinkabout what offering Jesus up would do for
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him. There had to be athought that entered his mind, okay,
before there was an action behind it. That's just how the human body works
you. You know, as aman thinketh so he becomes that scripture,
So you just don't happen to falland to become a liar. You just
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don't happen to fall in to becomea trader. You just don't happen to
fall in to become a cheater.Like so, as a man thinketh so
is he? So do I thinkfrom the beginning someone is something, you
know, out of out of thefact of just being a center because we
were born a sinner right until weaccept Jesus, Like, that's just what
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it is. But I do thinkthat our thoughts are powerful. So that's
why we have to deny, capture, take them things, examine them things,
and be like that ain't from you, That ain't from you. We
were making that joke. That's kindof like where we're at. So,
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yeah, that's my thoughts. Thatwas one of the questions that I that
was presented. So I wanted toanswer that one another question. Let me
make sure that I go back andlook so I have these correctly. Also,
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as I am taking my summer summer, I'm sorry my spring break,
as I like to say, I'mtaking my spring break. There's also a
level of me preparing and planning.For those of you that don't know,
I am the founder of Say Graysand Co. And we do gatherings and
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events for Christian entrepreneurs, influencers andcreatives. So you know, part of
me is just being a good stewardover that assignment that God has given me
is is to take the time toreally steward and prepare. So we do
have our gathering for twenty twenty fourhappening this summer in Nashville, Tennessee,
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which I'm super excited about, andI will be taking the springtime just shoes
steward that and to make sure thatall preparations are how God once it is
and is intending for it to go. So that is part of the reason
why I'm taking a spring break fromrecording, because I do believe that you
can't have your you know, yourattention is so many places right and I
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do think there's a time and aseason to do certain things. And God
just kind of like said, hey, You're gonna rest on recording and really
just start preparing and praying for what'scoming with Say Grace this summer. But
I also want to offer you guysall my listeners because I would love to
meet you guys in person. Iwould love to see your faces. So
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even if you're in the Nashville Seearea or if you're not and you are
thinking about, hey, it'll probablybe like a cool, fun weekend June
twenty eighth through thirtieth, we're gonnabe here, which I'm super excited about.
So definitely go over to Saygrace twentyone dot com for more information to
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grab your tickets. It's gonna bea good time. I'm super excited about
it. So yeah, I justwanted to plug that and share that information
with you guys. All right,but let's jump back into the questions.
All right, so ooh this isgood. How often should I repent?
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This was one of the questions thatwas presented, you know what. To
be honest with you, I thinkI repent every day. And I want
to say this because I think thatI probably start off my day with of
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course, with prayer, thanking theLord for giving me another day, thanking
him for what he's already done,because I believe that he's gone beforeming that
morning, that afternoon, that evening, that day, that week, that
month, that year, and madeevery cook a path straight. So I
wake up every single day just thankingHim and being grateful for what He's already
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done. And I also do askHim to forgive me or rid me of
any thoughts or actions that would hinderHis will coming to pass in my life.
And that's just something that I do. But there have been moments,
especially in the last three months,where my prayers have been a little bit
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more specific on what I'm asking forGod to forgive personally for me, but
then also what I'm feeling that I'mon assignment to pray for other people and
to lead other people into praying forrepentance, because I do think that sometimes
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we can overlook just posturing ourselves tokneel before our Father and say, Lord,
forgive me for I have sinned.And there are moments to where I'm
very clear on what I've done,and then there are other moments to where
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I am shocked sometimes when the HolySpirit provides revelation on areas in my life
that haven't been surrendered or submitted toGod, decisions or situations that God will
highlight that are not pleasing to Him. So I would say how often,
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I mean, I would say thereal question maybe is to ask this,
when was the last time you repentedand do you remember what you repented for?
And have you turned away from thething that you repented for or is
it something that you possibly still needGod to forgive and is there still an
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area of lack of surrender that youmay want to Hey, Lord, I
I'm sorry for that. I knowfor me, I think that I've been
repenting a lot for mishandling people,positions, platforms and purposes, assignments,
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if you will, I was doingall the peace, but really assignments and
misusing giftings and skills and situations thatI had to be honest, and not
every single decision that I haven't madehas been to glorify God. But I
have made decisions based on my owninsecurities and my own needs and then said
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thank you God or thank you Jesusfor meeting that need or forgiving me those
things or providing those people, whenreally it was me orchestrating some level of
I'm doing this for me, andGod, I'm thank you for allowing me
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for It's I don't know, it'skind of backwards. I've been in positions
and seasons of my life to whereI thank God for allowing me myself to
meet a need. And even thatthought is really backwards because I can't really
meet my own needs. People say, well, yeah, you can,
Like no, I believe that Godhas all say over my body, over
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my mind, for my thoughts,over the work of my hands, my
fruitfulness, Like, my fruitfulness isa direct reflection of His faithfulness. So
actually, let me run that back. My fruitfulness is a direct reflection of
His faithfulness. So even the workof my hands and seeing the fruit of
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that is solely because God is faithfuland his word didn't come back void,
not because I'm able to meet myown needs, you know. And I
think that that's sometimes like the liethat I would lean on is that,
you know what, I did thiswith my own hands, with my own
skill, with my own thoughts.Thank you, Lord for allowing me to
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meet my own needs. And God'skind of like that whole thought process is
not for me. You need tosurrender the fact that you think that you
can meet your own need. SoI have found myself totally just being like,
actually, God, I can donothing without you, nothing, not
a thing. Okay, I can'tfeed a dog without you, I can't
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love my husband. Right, withoutyou, I can do nothing nothing apart
from you. There's a scripture thatsays that even being separate from Jesus,
apart from Jesus, you can donothing without him, that the only way
to do anything is to abide inhim. And sometimes I think that I
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have forgotten that, and I havebeen needing to repent for that. So
that's something recently that I've been repentingfor. So hopefully that answers the question
if you're listening and you sent thatin like I, there's nothing wrong with
repenting every single day. That doesn'tmean waking up and shame. That doesn't
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mean waking up in condemnation. Right. That means you acknowledging God is Lord
and save of your life? Like, do you do that? And when
was the last time that you've saidthat? When was the last time that
your actions followed that? That tome is repentance. That to me is
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me acknowledging who is Lord of mylife. You know, he's not just
my friend when I'm lonely. Youknow, he's not just my provider when
I don't have it. He's notjust someone that gives me creative ideas.
He's not just someone who you know, handles all my enemies when I need
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him to, because I'm getting pickedon. Like that's just not the only
thing God is. That may bewhat he does, but that's not who
he is. Like he's like sovereign, and in his sovereignty, I'm in
awe. So yeah, hopefully thatanswers your question. And another question was
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what is my top priority for Qtwo? Honestly just to stewart the promise
that God has given me personally.You know, I really do feel like
I'm in walking out a promise seasonover my life. I think that I'm
walking in answer prayers, I'm walkingin the fruit of His faithfulness, I'm
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walking in the fruit of my obedience. And I just want to stewart it
well. When I said earlier inthe podcast that I have been going back
from the beginning and reading from coverto cover. Of course, in the
beginning, you know, literally fromlike Exodus all the way until what Joshua
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was literally the story of the Israelitesand God delivering them, God saving them,
God taking them through the wilderness,and the promise that He gave them
to enter and crossover into the Jordan. And there's I mean, there's so
much there. I mean, thatcould probably take three episodes just to unpack
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what I have learned from Exodus toJoshua alone. I probably should to be
honest, like stand by for summerrevelations on that because I my husband gratefully.
You know, he's he's a manof God, he's a pastor.
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He knows his word right, sohe does not get annoyed with me,
like literally during his downtime and I'mlike, oh my babe, did you
did you know that? D AndI'm like unpacking a passage, right,
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I've been doing this so much thathe literally just looks and miles and he
says, it's a blessing and it'swhat he prayed for when he was asking
for his asking the Lord for hiswife. But I've been doing this repeatedly,
multiple times a day because literally fromExodus to Joshua, I'm just sitting
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back like, hoo, child,you ain't gonna play with God. You
hear me, ain't gonna happen.But the promise that he made to Abraham
and how he honored this promise tothe Israelites, like I'm listen. But
(38:35):
even though the promise was honored,because that's just who God is, and
he knew that the Israelites were gonnaend up disobeying his command to only worship
him and not worship any other gods. We know that the Israelites end up
I'm going against the command of theLord. And I don't know why we
do this, but I bring thisup to say that even though God will
(39:04):
give you a promise and you canaccept the promise, accepting his promise is
also accepting his command andtruction and instructionswith the promise or the promised land.
Like sometimes I think that we thinkthat God gave me a promise and it
came to pass one hundred and tenpercent. But there is also a level
(39:28):
of obedience. As matter of fact, forget a level. Let me change
that out. Either you're obedient oryou're not. Like I think that I'm
saying level because I think that I'velived by that for so long and that
is something that I am learning andapologizing to God for and repenting for,
(39:51):
because there is no levels to obedience. I don't know where I pick this
up at some point where I thinkwe've learned this. Either you did what
God said or you didn't do whatGod said. Either you're following the Lord
or you not, Like there wasn'tWhen I go back and I read scripture,
(40:13):
there isn't God saying like there isa level to my No, no,
no, no no. He gavevery clear instructions on what to do,
what not to do, and ifyou obeyed him what would happen?
And if you disobeyed him, whatwould happen? And we know one thing
about God heim lie. So forthose that were obedient, this is what
(40:35):
you get. For those who aredisobedient, this is what you get.
It's the same thing that he gaveto Adam and Eve when he told them,
do not eat of that tree.If you eat of that tree,
you would what surely die. Now, sometimes were thinking, well Eve didn't
(40:57):
drop dead immediately, so could thatNo, but she did die mm hmmm,
sin into the world. Death wasentered into the world. So yeah,
I don't. Yeah, That's whereI'm at with that. Just I
(41:23):
don't want to live a life towhere I believe the obedience has levels.
I just don't. I don't wantto live a life to where I take
on a belief that obedience has levels, like either you're obedient or you're not.
Either you believe or you don't.And come on, I'm rebuking doubt
(41:46):
and I'm rebuking disobedience daily. Thatis what I really do believe. Denying
our flesh, picking up our crossand walking is And sometimes we think it's
picking up the cross and go overmy our race and start that business and
start that ministry. Yeah, okay, but the cross is not just a
(42:07):
representation of your brand and your business. The cross is a reputation of what
Jesus died for, which is you, so that you could live and have
a relationship to your father. Thatis what it's for. So me denying
my flesh and picking up my crossand walking is me picking up that belief
(42:34):
period. So what it is,there's no levels to it. It is
or it is it anything you didor you didn't. Now, that doesn't
mean that I don't believe in sanctificationand sanctification being a process, and I
feel as though that that's something thatI've seen a lot of people unpacking recently.
(42:55):
I'm not going to do it onthis podcast because I don't really feel
like that God is good me enoughrevelation on what it means to the process
of sanctification. I think that thatis a very personal thing that people have
to really walk out in their relationshipwith the Lord. I don't think that
I can give you one two steps. One do this, two do this,
(43:17):
three do this. I know thatwe see a lot of content that
is circulated around telling people what todo. One go to church to read
your Bible every day. Three getup at five o'clock. Four, only
eat healthy foods, listen, andthat's going to help with sanctification. And
I'm gonna be honest with you,there were times and seasons in my life
(43:38):
where I did all of those thingsand I was still bound to sin.
I'm just gonna be real with you. I went to church every Sunday every
midweek, didn't miss it, okay. And when I wasn't doing that,
I was listening to sermons online.I was getting up and I was running
miles for hours in the morning andat night. I was only consuming certain
(44:05):
foods. I had probably dropped aboutsixty pounds and was applauding myself as though
like this was this was some typeof representation of my relationship with the Lord,
and it wasn't. Because the truthof the matter is is that I
felt like I needed to do allthose things to prove that I was having
intimate and time and communing with theLord. But the truth of the matter
(44:30):
is is that fruit of communion withthe Father is not needing to prove anything.
Needing to prove that you were somethingversus just living and being is a
representation that there is some level ofdisconnect with your relationship with the Lord.
(44:57):
So even doing all of the thingsin my life, and I mean I
was doing all of the things tocheck off all of the boxes, you
know. And now when I goback and and I thought, during that
time, at least five six yearsago, I was the healthiest. I
look the best that I ever looked. I had a better routine. And
when I go back now and Ilook at myself, I see myself completely
(45:23):
different. I don't see myself healthy. I don't see myself yield. I
see the struggle of trying to prove. I see the struggle of trying to
do all of the things versus justdenying my flesh and picking up my cross
and walk. So I think thatwhen it comes to identifying what that looks
(45:49):
like in your life, I thinkthat that only comes from you having intimate,
devoted time with the Lord. Communityis great. I want to say
this, and this may be anunpopular opinion, and that's fine, totally
fine. Community is great, butcommunity cannot come in to replace you actually
(46:17):
communing with the Lord like community isawesome, But you make an allegiance to
a clique or a group of peoplethat you feel as though that God has
really blessed this group of people,or you feel as though that it has
(46:38):
to be God because God is incommunity. Well, I'm going to tell
you something that God is not askingyou to pledge your allegiance to anything but
Him, period. He's not askingor desiring of you to pledge your allegiance
to a community to a group overHim. So, while I believe that
(47:04):
community is good, I don't believethat we should be isolated from people.
I don't believe that we should tryto walk our salvation in every season out
by ourselves. I don't believe that'shealthy. You need to be counseled in
seasons, you need to be sharpenedin You need people. But I don't
(47:27):
believe that we should be pledging ourallegiance to anything other than the Lord and
the Gospel. That's just what Ibelieve. But again, read your word,
ask God questions, dive deeper intoreally asking him to interpret the word
(47:50):
for yourself and see what he says. But that's how we are kicking off.
Cute thank you y'all over here,That's how we're kicking it off.
And let me just say, Iam humbled, I am thankful, and
(48:13):
I am so grateful for his mercy, for his forgiveness and for his grace.
And I can't wait to see whathe does next. I can't wait
to see what he does next toyou guys lives, because I am following
your journeys as well. So definitely, don't hesitate to connect with me online,
(48:36):
don't hesitate to send me a DM. And thank you for every single
person that has been encouraging me overthis podcast, every single person that has
sent me a private text message sayinghow much you enjoyed it. I'm just
so grateful for you, and Iwill see you next season. Okay,
but definitely make sure that you subscribe, that you share this if this blessed
(49:00):
you, and that you just continueto develop your relationship with the Lord for
yourself, because it'll change your life. I definitely know that it has constantly
changed your mind, but I lovey'all and I will see you next season.
Until next time, be blessed,
Hey, guys, Welcome to theKWATS podcast. I'm your host, Kashawn
Watson, but you know me ask Watts and I'm super excited that you
decided to join me today. Thisis the podcast where we chat about the
questions we ask God, we sharetestimonials about healing, wholeness, and forgiveness.
It doesn't matter what season of lifeyou may be in or the journey
(00:22):
you may be currently walking through.I know that this podcast will bless you.
At the end of the episode.If you feel like that this has
done exactly what I said, definitelyhit that like button, comment share,
don't forget to subscribe again. Welcometo the KWATS podcast. All right,
guys, So we're back with anall new episode of the k WOTS podcast,
(00:45):
and I'm super excited about this week'sepisode because it is actually the season
finale, and I couldn't think ofa better way to end the season with
us just recapping kind of like keytakeaways from the episodes of the season,
but then also kind of like jumpinginto some questions that you guys have sent
(01:10):
me through DMS, emails, comments, So I just can't wait to kind
of like dive in one Welcome toQ two. How is that even possible?
Oh Man? Oh Man. WhenI was in corporate, Q two
meant something different than what it meansnow, And I think that's important to
(01:34):
take into considerations some stock and inventoryof when seasons change, and when positions
change, and when you're in adifferent you know, season, a place
in your life. Sometimes what meantone thing in one season doesn't always mean
the same thing. So a lotof times for Q two, it was
(01:55):
time to kind of like one,get the team and our staff repped up
and get them excited about all thethings they did in the first quarter,
you know, highlighting and celebrating allof their wins, but then also highlighting
certain areas of opportunities that could beworked on. And that was kind of
like my job for a long periodof time. So now fast forwarding into
(02:21):
I am this year will make sevenyears. That's so crazy to even think
about seven years out of corporate,seven years like being in this entrepreneurial,
creative space, which I'm if youwant to really be honest, I'm still
getting used to it. I don'tknow if other people can relate, but
(02:44):
it's definitely taking some adjusting and forme in this season. I want to
say Quarter two has represented like acouple of things. One. I do
still take stock an inventory of winsin successes in areas where I saw victory
one hundred and ten percent, becauseI think that it's necessary to sit back
(03:07):
and not despise the small things thatcould just be Like, but I had
a couple, and a couple ofthem was that I wanted to get back
into a consistent workout schedule four tofive times a week, and could I
commit to that and your girl,Okay, I am pleased to tell you
(03:29):
that your girl has achieved that one. Like that goal for Q one was
met and checked, and even thoughwe are only a couple of days into
Q two, I am happy toreport that we are still on the upward.
Okay, we are still striving andtaking it day by day and breking
(03:52):
this thing out with the health andfitness goals. So yeah, for those
that may not have known, lastsummer, I did have to go through
surgery and it really the healing processreally kind of like had me sitting quite
a bit. So I really hadn'tfelt even though I felt like my body
(04:17):
had healed, I don't really knowif I pushed myself past any type of
physical limits, just trying to bea good steward over what it taken place.
And even though I felt like sograteful to see restoration in my body,
I was ready to kind of likethis year to really push my body
(04:41):
to certain limits that I hadn't pushedit to in years. So yeah,
all right, well let's move pastme and my own fitness and health goals,
unless you guys DM and say,hey, let's talk more about it.
I am totally down to continue totalk about it other things. You
know. Recently relocated to Nashville,Tennessee, and the update is still the
(05:04):
same. Love it here, Loveit here. And one of the goals
that I had is that I reallywanted to make myself present and available locally.
That's one of the tough things thatI found myself because I've lived so
many places, and one of thethings that I really, I don't want
(05:26):
to say pride myself on, butreally was like, you know what,
even though I leave a city ormove to a new city, I really
wanted to do my best to stewartthe relationships that I built in that city.
And if you've done this before,then you know how hard it is
sometimes to stuart what is right infront of you versus still trying to stewart,
(05:46):
you know, maybe people that areno longer in close proximity. So
I really spent, you know,to the best of my ability during the
pandemic and us being in quarantine tocultivate relationships that were no longer at the
forefront of like in the fifteen minuteradius. But I also felt like while
(06:10):
I was able to do that,like I am happy to say that I've
been able to maintain a lot ofmy long distance relationships, and I'm just
I shocked myself, but I stillhave calls and meetups and check ins and
all of the things. But Ialso think that that has also come at
the expense of not being able tosteward community that is staring me right in
(06:34):
my face on a daily or weeklybasis. So I really really have been
praying and asking the Lord to helpme to be able to steward what was
close to me, what was inthe vicinity. I didn't want to miss
anything. I didn't want to missa blessing or an opportunity to minister to
(06:56):
someone or to be ministered to bysomeone. And when I tell you that
this first quarter, like this,these first couple of months in twenty twenty
four, I mean, your girlhas just been blown away about the people
that I've met, the beginning stagesof just really igniting a great friendship,
(07:23):
but then also God just using peoplejust to give me encouraging words and sweet
prophetic words just to affirm things thatthese people don't know me. Clearly,
I've been here for sixty days,but the word that God has given them
to share with me are things thatI have been stewarding over the last decade,
(07:46):
over the last five years. Sohe's just so kind and so sweet
that he is affirming you're right whereyou're supposed to be, doing exactly what
you're supposed to be doing. Andjust so you just know that I'm not
playing messing with you or forsaking you. I'm gonna send you a friend,
and this friend is going to confirmexactly what I've already spoken to you.
(08:11):
So I'm I'm just grateful for beingable to steward what's been local and to
receive from people that are new.That's the thing. Being able to receive
from new people. How do wedo that? Yeah? Yeah, I
(08:33):
didn't want to completely dive into that, but that is one of the questions
that came up to unpack on thisepisode, so maybe I should just go
there. So one of the thingsthat if you are following me on Instagram,
hey, if you're not, there'sstill time, okay personal at I
amk Watts and the podcast Instagram isat k watts podcast, So go ahead
(09:00):
and do that, like follow rightnow. But if you have been followed
along in the instant story, thenyou know that I had really posted a
question which I also shared in theepisode with my husband about something that I've
been really processing a thought which wasin how to steward friendships, how to
(09:26):
stewart relationships, but not only howto stewart them, but I think it's
hard to stewart something that you haven'tperceived accurately. Let's unpack that a little
bit. I think one of thethings that I found in my own life
(09:48):
and that has been dealt with dealingwith family members, friends, any dynamics,
even co workers, And when Ifind myself not being able to stewart
the relationship, well, it usuallygoes back to me not perceiving the relationship
accurately. And I think that sometimeswe don't perceive what is actually taking place
(10:16):
in that relationship, in that encounter, in that experience. So because we
haven't perceived it accurately, it's veryhard for us to steward it. Well.
Like I'm reminded of the scripture,when God says that He's doing a
new thing, do you not perceiveit as if that it's easy for God
to do new things in our lives. And we do not interpret it as
(10:41):
a new thing. We do notsee the thing sprouting up. We do
not see that it's God doing thenew thing. So that lets me know
that we are able to miss it, interpret or perceive a thing. And
I have found in my own lifethat when I miss interpret a thing,
that it's hard for me to stewardwhat the thing is. And that could
(11:03):
be a relationship, a business,a job, a position, all the
things. So when it's come torelationships and friendships, I really have gone
back. And of course, youknow, one of the goals that I
had for the new year was tostart reading the Bible from cover to cover,
(11:28):
and I'm still doing that. Iam currently in the Book of Joshua.
And let me just tell you,your girls' mind's been blown, okay
below the entire time, the entiretime, because I'm just in awe of
God. I'm in awe of ourlineage, what we come from. I'm
(11:52):
in awe of how I've misinterpreted theWord of God so much in my Christian
walk. I am in awe ofkey things that I've missed the first time
I may have read a scripture ora passage. So if you haven't done
it, I encourage you to doit, because you know, there's always
(12:13):
something new that you can get outof rereading God's word because it's the living
word, you know, so itwill speak directly to you. But one
of the things that I've really beenpaying attention to is Jesus's relationships with the
disciples as he was in human formon earth. And we talk about Jesus
(12:33):
being in human form on earth andso many different regards and why he would
do that, how powerful it isthat he did that and gave us an
example of walking life out, andhow many things that he encountered, the
obstacles that he had to overcome,and still at the end ended up dying
(12:58):
for our sins and then rising again, you know, like a promise was
made and his promise was kept.And if that ain't something that I was
literally just sitting with all Resurrection weekend, like I think that that's so powerful
for us to really sit back andthink about, Like the promises are never
(13:24):
in vain. And when I'm lookingat scripture, the Bible says that every
single promise that got made to theIsraelites he fulfilled. There wasn't one promise
that failed. There wasn't one thingthat he said that did not come to
(13:45):
pass. A promise was made andhis promise was kept. Period. And
if he did it, then thenhe's doing it now and he'll do it
forever more because that's just who heis. Again, I've been in awe
of that, and was in aweof that all Resurrection weekend, just sitting
in the fact that our God neverfails, His word never comes back void,
(14:05):
like come on, the piece youreceive when you really believe that is
unmatched. But the other part wasme really just sitting back and just watching
Jesus's encounter with the disciples, andspecifically, for whatever reason, as I'm
watching this and reading this, Iam highlighting the relationship that he have with
(14:28):
Peter because I'm sitting back, andI'm just like wow, Like Peter has
been around literally with Jesus since thebeginning of his walk to really just go
and do his ministry. Like youknow, Peter was, you know,
one of the first disciples to kindof like join Jesus in his journey to
walk this thing out to the cross. And when I look at this relationship,
(14:52):
I see so many things. Isee Peter's willingness to follow Jesus and
his revelation that Jesus is the Messiah. But then I also see human moments
in Peter of him not wanting Jesusto leave him, and even to a
(15:16):
certain extent, like we know thepassage that is very, very popular when
Jesus tells Peter to get behind himand literally calls him Satan. I'm gonna
be real with you, I don'tknow how many friends I have, Okay,
how many of them that I couldliterally say get behind me, Satan,
(15:37):
and they would still be my friend. I'm just saying I don't have
a lot of friends that would allowme to call them out in that way,
like rebuke them in that way,and then that relationship not only remains
the same, but they're still willingto follow in whatever direction I'm going.
If they're on this journey with me, you know, a lot of the
(16:00):
relationships, there has to be alevel of I don't know, I don't
I don't have the right word atthis point, but I'm just saying when
I looked at the the realness thatJesus had with Peter throughout every single transition,
every single private conversation, every singlemoment of Peter pulling him aside and
(16:26):
being like, listen, you don'thave to do this, you should you
can't leave us. What do youmean? This can't be right, and
Jesus having a look at him andsay get behind me, Satan like come
on, I AnyWho, Okay,I just I'm still processing that as I'm
(16:48):
saying it with you guys, andthen to take it another another step.
Peter then says, I I willnever deny you right now. This is
the thing you ever hear old school, like, I think. I don't
(17:10):
know if everybody else had a mamathat said it, but my mom used
to say this to me ever sinceI was in school when I used to
have problems, and I'm talking aboutelementary school, middle school, when you
come home and you complain about theproblems that you have with your friends.
My mom would always say this lineto me. She would say, if
you can leave this life and havethree real friends, consider yourself lucky.
(17:37):
And she was like, the personthat you think will never do it will
usually be the person that does it. And those are things that she used
to say to me, and I, you know, used to read that
into like, wait, what Ican only have three but I have so
many friends? What do I dowith all these friends? And now having
like revelation and context on why shesaid that, like, I get that,
(18:00):
Like what you define as a friendin elementary school, in middle school,
or even in college may look alittle bit different on what you define
as a friend as a thirty,forty or fifty year old woman. But
not only that, what you defineas a friend before actually having a relationship
with Jesus and then after probably looksvastly different. So the definition of what
(18:22):
a friend is probably I can saythat I have had very few and I've
asked myself and the Lord and praythis prayer that I want to be able
(18:45):
to sit at a table comfortably.I must listen sit at a table comfortably
with a friend that I've known fora very long time that may betraying me
at a very very important and sensitivetime in my life. A person that
(19:08):
will sell me out for you know, something so small, an opportunity to
get in a room, or justan opportunity, right, a friend that
has questioned or doubted that I amwho I say that I am, and
(19:29):
sit at a table and be ableto eat with them and still minister to
them and still love them well.Like I want to be spiritually mature enough
to be able to do that.And I don't know if if that's like
not realistic that the only person thatcan do that well is the Messiah.
(19:53):
But I do believe that God gaveus the example of Jesus living his life
this way for us to be ableto say that you were made in that
image. So I should be ableto sit at a table and break bread
with people that may not always havethe best interest of the Lord in my
(20:19):
life, in mind that every commentor suggestion or opinion that they have may
not be a thus saith the Lord. But am I still able to break
bread with them? Am I stillable to love them well? Am I
still able to show up and tominister to them, pray for them,
encourage them, and still just behonest and be like, hey, there
(20:44):
may be a moment and a timeto where you're unable to show up whole
that you're unable to show up faithfully, that you're unable to show up,
and just try us the word ofthe Lord over your life and in my
life and lead from that place.But even with that, I'm still able
(21:07):
to sit with you and love youlike I want to be comfortable to do
that because I'm gonna be honest withyou. I have sat at many tables
with enemies, quite a few notknowing it at the time. I just
want to go on record like thisisn't like I show up to tables and
I'm goind like, yeah, likethese people don't like me. But I
(21:30):
have been at a couple of tablesthat were quite uncomfortable in rooms and situations
with people that I knew did notlike me, I knew didn't want me
there, and I shrunk. Ifound myself getting angry, I found myself
getting insecure. I started doubting whyI was even in the room. I
(21:52):
started doubting the relationship with the person. And I think even more importantly,
I really started doubting what my assignmentwas in that moment. And the thing
that I love about the story ofJesus is that he was never confused or
swayed on what the assignment was.He knew that he was sent there to
(22:15):
die for us, to give hislife for us, and even when it
was uncomfortable, and even when hejust kind of like was like, God,
if you could take this from me, please do if it is your
will, he was never confused onthe assignment though. And I'll find myself
(22:37):
saying, like, even if I'min a room sitting at a table eating
with people that really don't get it, because I don't know if all of
them got it, Lord, letme be so sure in your word and
(23:00):
so sure and what the assignment isthat even at a table with friends or
enemies, the assignment just don't change. So Yeah, that was one of
the things that I've been praying on. And one of the questions that someone
presented this week was do we alwaysthink that Judas from the beginning was an
(23:30):
enemy of Jesus? And the Biblerefers to Judas is even when they start
saying who the disciples were at theend, when they say Judas, to
say Judas, who becomes a traitorlike straight like that, like that's what
he's known for. So I don'tknow if he was always an enemy,
(23:52):
but I always think that there probablywas some level of treachery going on that,
you know, you gotta everybody hasa friend to where there's always some
level of treachery going on, likesome mess people like No, I don't
(24:15):
got no judases around. I don'tknow, I don't know. I think
there's at least one, okay aroundsomewhere close. They got some level of
treachery going on that you may noteven know about. But you know,
other people's thoughts sometimes ain't our business, right, But the Lord knows their
(24:37):
thoughts towards us, And the Lordknows their thoughts, knows their thoughts towards
our business and our well being andour families and our homes and our marriages.
And the truth of the matter isthat before Judas made the decision to
betray Jesus, he had to thinkabout what offering Jesus up would do for
(24:59):
him. There had to be athought that entered his mind, okay,
before there was an action behind it. That's just how the human body works
you. You know, as aman thinketh so he becomes that scripture,
So you just don't happen to falland to become a liar. You just
(25:19):
don't happen to fall in to becomea trader. You just don't happen to
fall in to become a cheater.Like so, as a man thinketh so
is he? So do I thinkfrom the beginning someone is something, you
know, out of out of thefact of just being a center because we
were born a sinner right until weaccept Jesus, Like, that's just what
(25:41):
it is. But I do thinkthat our thoughts are powerful. So that's
why we have to deny, capture, take them things, examine them things,
and be like that ain't from you, That ain't from you. We
were making that joke. That's kindof like where we're at. So,
(26:03):
yeah, that's my thoughts. Thatwas one of the questions that I that
was presented. So I wanted toanswer that one another question. Let me
make sure that I go back andlook so I have these correctly. Also,
(26:27):
as I am taking my summer summer, I'm sorry my spring break,
as I like to say, I'mtaking my spring break. There's also a
level of me preparing and planning.For those of you that don't know,
I am the founder of Say Graysand Co. And we do gatherings and
(26:48):
events for Christian entrepreneurs, influencers andcreatives. So you know, part of
me is just being a good stewardover that assignment that God has given me
is is to take the time toreally steward and prepare. So we do
have our gathering for twenty twenty fourhappening this summer in Nashville, Tennessee,
(27:10):
which I'm super excited about, andI will be taking the springtime just shoes
steward that and to make sure thatall preparations are how God once it is
and is intending for it to go. So that is part of the reason
why I'm taking a spring break fromrecording, because I do believe that you
can't have your you know, yourattention is so many places right and I
(27:36):
do think there's a time and aseason to do certain things. And God
just kind of like said, hey, You're gonna rest on recording and really
just start preparing and praying for what'scoming with Say Grace this summer. But
I also want to offer you guysall my listeners because I would love to
meet you guys in person. Iwould love to see your faces. So
(27:56):
even if you're in the Nashville Seearea or if you're not and you are
thinking about, hey, it'll probablybe like a cool, fun weekend June
twenty eighth through thirtieth, we're gonnabe here, which I'm super excited about.
So definitely go over to Saygrace twentyone dot com for more information to
(28:17):
grab your tickets. It's gonna bea good time. I'm super excited about
it. So yeah, I justwanted to plug that and share that information
with you guys. All right,but let's jump back into the questions.
All right, so ooh this isgood. How often should I repent?
(28:40):
This was one of the questions thatwas presented, you know what. To
be honest with you, I thinkI repent every day. And I want
to say this because I think thatI probably start off my day with of
(29:00):
course, with prayer, thanking theLord for giving me another day, thanking
him for what he's already done,because I believe that he's gone beforeming that
morning, that afternoon, that evening, that day, that week, that
month, that year, and madeevery cook a path straight. So I
wake up every single day just thankingHim and being grateful for what He's already
(29:22):
done. And I also do askHim to forgive me or rid me of
any thoughts or actions that would hinderHis will coming to pass in my life.
And that's just something that I do. But there have been moments,
especially in the last three months,where my prayers have been a little bit
(29:51):
more specific on what I'm asking forGod to forgive personally for me, but
then also what I'm feeling that I'mon assignment to pray for other people and
to lead other people into praying forrepentance, because I do think that sometimes
(30:12):
we can overlook just posturing ourselves tokneel before our Father and say, Lord,
forgive me for I have sinned.And there are moments to where I'm
very clear on what I've done,and then there are other moments to where
(30:34):
I am shocked sometimes when the HolySpirit provides revelation on areas in my life
that haven't been surrendered or submitted toGod, decisions or situations that God will
highlight that are not pleasing to Him. So I would say how often,
(31:00):
I mean, I would say thereal question maybe is to ask this,
when was the last time you repentedand do you remember what you repented for?
And have you turned away from thething that you repented for or is
it something that you possibly still needGod to forgive and is there still an
(31:22):
area of lack of surrender that youmay want to Hey, Lord, I
I'm sorry for that. I knowfor me, I think that I've been
repenting a lot for mishandling people,positions, platforms and purposes, assignments,
(31:48):
if you will, I was doingall the peace, but really assignments and
misusing giftings and skills and situations thatI had to be honest, and not
every single decision that I haven't madehas been to glorify God. But I
have made decisions based on my owninsecurities and my own needs and then said
(32:13):
thank you God or thank you Jesusfor meeting that need or forgiving me those
things or providing those people, whenreally it was me orchestrating some level of
I'm doing this for me, andGod, I'm thank you for allowing me
(32:34):
for It's I don't know, it'skind of backwards. I've been in positions
and seasons of my life to whereI thank God for allowing me myself to
meet a need. And even thatthought is really backwards because I can't really
meet my own needs. People say, well, yeah, you can,
Like no, I believe that Godhas all say over my body, over
(32:59):
my mind, for my thoughts,over the work of my hands, my
fruitfulness, Like, my fruitfulness isa direct reflection of His faithfulness. So
actually, let me run that back. My fruitfulness is a direct reflection of
His faithfulness. So even the workof my hands and seeing the fruit of
(33:19):
that is solely because God is faithfuland his word didn't come back void,
not because I'm able to meet myown needs, you know. And I
think that that's sometimes like the liethat I would lean on is that,
you know what, I did thiswith my own hands, with my own
skill, with my own thoughts.Thank you, Lord for allowing me to
(33:42):
meet my own needs. And God'skind of like that whole thought process is
not for me. You need tosurrender the fact that you think that you
can meet your own need. SoI have found myself totally just being like,
actually, God, I can donothing without you, nothing, not
a thing. Okay, I can'tfeed a dog without you, I can't
(34:06):
love my husband. Right, withoutyou, I can do nothing nothing apart
from you. There's a scripture thatsays that even being separate from Jesus,
apart from Jesus, you can donothing without him, that the only way
to do anything is to abide inhim. And sometimes I think that I
(34:31):
have forgotten that, and I havebeen needing to repent for that. So
that's something recently that I've been repentingfor. So hopefully that answers the question
if you're listening and you sent thatin like I, there's nothing wrong with
repenting every single day. That doesn'tmean waking up and shame. That doesn't
(34:52):
mean waking up in condemnation. Right. That means you acknowledging God is Lord
and save of your life? Like, do you do that? And when
was the last time that you've saidthat? When was the last time that
your actions followed that? That tome is repentance. That to me is
(35:15):
me acknowledging who is Lord of mylife. You know, he's not just
my friend when I'm lonely. Youknow, he's not just my provider when
I don't have it. He's notjust someone that gives me creative ideas.
He's not just someone who you know, handles all my enemies when I need
(35:37):
him to, because I'm getting pickedon. Like that's just not the only
thing God is. That may bewhat he does, but that's not who
he is. Like he's like sovereign, and in his sovereignty, I'm in
awe. So yeah, hopefully thatanswers your question. And another question was
(36:02):
what is my top priority for Qtwo? Honestly just to stewart the promise
that God has given me personally.You know, I really do feel like
I'm in walking out a promise seasonover my life. I think that I'm
walking in answer prayers, I'm walkingin the fruit of His faithfulness, I'm
(36:25):
walking in the fruit of my obedience. And I just want to stewart it
well. When I said earlier inthe podcast that I have been going back
from the beginning and reading from coverto cover. Of course, in the
beginning, you know, literally fromlike Exodus all the way until what Joshua
(36:51):
was literally the story of the Israelitesand God delivering them, God saving them,
God taking them through the wilderness,and the promise that He gave them
to enter and crossover into the Jordan. And there's I mean, there's so
much there. I mean, thatcould probably take three episodes just to unpack
(37:12):
what I have learned from Exodus toJoshua alone. I probably should to be
honest, like stand by for summerrevelations on that because I my husband gratefully.
You know, he's he's a manof God, he's a pastor.
(37:32):
He knows his word right, sohe does not get annoyed with me,
like literally during his downtime and I'mlike, oh my babe, did you
did you know that? D AndI'm like unpacking a passage, right,
(37:53):
I've been doing this so much thathe literally just looks and miles and he
says, it's a blessing and it'swhat he prayed for when he was asking
for his asking the Lord for hiswife. But I've been doing this repeatedly,
multiple times a day because literally fromExodus to Joshua, I'm just sitting
(38:15):
back like, hoo, child,you ain't gonna play with God. You
hear me, ain't gonna happen.But the promise that he made to Abraham
and how he honored this promise tothe Israelites, like I'm listen. But
(38:35):
even though the promise was honored,because that's just who God is, and
he knew that the Israelites were gonnaend up disobeying his command to only worship
him and not worship any other gods. We know that the Israelites end up
I'm going against the command of theLord. And I don't know why we
do this, but I bring thisup to say that even though God will
(39:04):
give you a promise and you canaccept the promise, accepting his promise is
also accepting his command andtruction and instructionswith the promise or the promised land.
Like sometimes I think that we thinkthat God gave me a promise and it
came to pass one hundred and tenpercent. But there is also a level
(39:28):
of obedience. As matter of fact, forget a level. Let me change
that out. Either you're obedient oryou're not. Like I think that I'm
saying level because I think that I'velived by that for so long and that
is something that I am learning andapologizing to God for and repenting for,
(39:51):
because there is no levels to obedience. I don't know where I pick this
up at some point where I thinkwe've learned this. Either you did what
God said or you didn't do whatGod said. Either you're following the Lord
or you not, Like there wasn'tWhen I go back and I read scripture,
(40:13):
there isn't God saying like there isa level to my No, no,
no, no no. He gavevery clear instructions on what to do,
what not to do, and ifyou obeyed him what would happen?
And if you disobeyed him, whatwould happen? And we know one thing
about God heim lie. So forthose that were obedient, this is what
(40:35):
you get. For those who aredisobedient, this is what you get.
It's the same thing that he gaveto Adam and Eve when he told them,
do not eat of that tree.If you eat of that tree,
you would what surely die. Now, sometimes were thinking, well Eve didn't
(40:57):
drop dead immediately, so could thatNo, but she did die mm hmmm,
sin into the world. Death wasentered into the world. So yeah,
I don't. Yeah, That's whereI'm at with that. Just I
(41:23):
don't want to live a life towhere I believe the obedience has levels.
I just don't. I don't wantto live a life to where I take
on a belief that obedience has levels, like either you're obedient or you're not.
Either you believe or you don't.And come on, I'm rebuking doubt
(41:46):
and I'm rebuking disobedience daily. Thatis what I really do believe. Denying
our flesh, picking up our crossand walking is And sometimes we think it's
picking up the cross and go overmy our race and start that business and
start that ministry. Yeah, okay, but the cross is not just a
(42:07):
representation of your brand and your business. The cross is a reputation of what
Jesus died for, which is you, so that you could live and have
a relationship to your father. Thatis what it's for. So me denying
my flesh and picking up my crossand walking is me picking up that belief
(42:34):
period. So what it is,there's no levels to it. It is
or it is it anything you didor you didn't. Now, that doesn't
mean that I don't believe in sanctificationand sanctification being a process, and I
feel as though that that's something thatI've seen a lot of people unpacking recently.
(42:55):
I'm not going to do it onthis podcast because I don't really feel
like that God is good me enoughrevelation on what it means to the process
of sanctification. I think that thatis a very personal thing that people have
to really walk out in their relationshipwith the Lord. I don't think that
I can give you one two steps. One do this, two do this,
(43:17):
three do this. I know thatwe see a lot of content that
is circulated around telling people what todo. One go to church to read
your Bible every day. Three getup at five o'clock. Four, only
eat healthy foods, listen, andthat's going to help with sanctification. And
I'm gonna be honest with you,there were times and seasons in my life
(43:38):
where I did all of those thingsand I was still bound to sin.
I'm just gonna be real with you. I went to church every Sunday every
midweek, didn't miss it, okay. And when I wasn't doing that,
I was listening to sermons online.I was getting up and I was running
miles for hours in the morning andat night. I was only consuming certain
(44:05):
foods. I had probably dropped aboutsixty pounds and was applauding myself as though
like this was this was some typeof representation of my relationship with the Lord,
and it wasn't. Because the truthof the matter is is that I
felt like I needed to do allthose things to prove that I was having
intimate and time and communing with theLord. But the truth of the matter
(44:30):
is is that fruit of communion withthe Father is not needing to prove anything.
Needing to prove that you were somethingversus just living and being is a
representation that there is some level ofdisconnect with your relationship with the Lord.
(44:57):
So even doing all of the thingsin my life, and I mean I
was doing all of the things tocheck off all of the boxes, you
know. And now when I goback and and I thought, during that
time, at least five six yearsago, I was the healthiest. I
look the best that I ever looked. I had a better routine. And
when I go back now and Ilook at myself, I see myself completely
(45:23):
different. I don't see myself healthy. I don't see myself yield. I
see the struggle of trying to prove. I see the struggle of trying to
do all of the things versus justdenying my flesh and picking up my cross
and walk. So I think thatwhen it comes to identifying what that looks
(45:49):
like in your life, I thinkthat that only comes from you having intimate,
devoted time with the Lord. Communityis great. I want to say
this, and this may be anunpopular opinion, and that's fine, totally
fine. Community is great, butcommunity cannot come in to replace you actually
(46:17):
communing with the Lord like community isawesome, But you make an allegiance to
a clique or a group of peoplethat you feel as though that God has
really blessed this group of people,or you feel as though that it has
(46:38):
to be God because God is incommunity. Well, I'm going to tell
you something that God is not askingyou to pledge your allegiance to anything but
Him, period. He's not askingor desiring of you to pledge your allegiance
to a community to a group overHim. So, while I believe that
(47:04):
community is good, I don't believethat we should be isolated from people.
I don't believe that we should tryto walk our salvation in every season out
by ourselves. I don't believe that'shealthy. You need to be counseled in
seasons, you need to be sharpenedin You need people. But I don't
(47:27):
believe that we should be pledging ourallegiance to anything other than the Lord and
the Gospel. That's just what Ibelieve. But again, read your word,
ask God questions, dive deeper intoreally asking him to interpret the word
(47:50):
for yourself and see what he says. But that's how we are kicking off.
Cute thank you y'all over here,That's how we're kicking it off.
And let me just say, Iam humbled, I am thankful, and
(48:13):
I am so grateful for his mercy, for his forgiveness and for his grace.
And I can't wait to see whathe does next. I can't wait
to see what he does next toyou guys lives, because I am following
your journeys as well. So definitely, don't hesitate to connect with me online,
(48:36):
don't hesitate to send me a DM. And thank you for every single
person that has been encouraging me overthis podcast, every single person that has
sent me a private text message sayinghow much you enjoyed it. I'm just
so grateful for you, and Iwill see you next season. Okay,
but definitely make sure that you subscribe, that you share this if this blessed
(49:00):
you, and that you just continueto develop your relationship with the Lord for
yourself, because it'll change your life. I definitely know that it has constantly
changed your mind, but I lovey'all and I will see you next season.
Until next time, be blessed,
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