September 26, 2024 • 46 mins
What do I do with all these cares? with Bethny Ricks-Jackson In the this episode of "The Kay Wats Podcast," Kay interviews speaker and author Bethny Ricks Jackson about her book "Face Forward." Bethny shares insights from her book and discusses the impact hope had on her life during tough times. The conversation also covers topics such as stigmas in corporate America, the cost of compromise, and the value of faith.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey guys, Welcome to the k WATS podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
K Watts and I'm super excited that you decided to
join me today.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
This is the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Where we chat about the questions we ask God, we
share testimonials about healing, wholeness, and forgiveness. It doesn't matter
what season of life you may be in or the
journey you may be currently walking through. I know that
this podcast will bless you. At the end of the episode.
If you feel like that this has done exactly what
I said, definitely hit that like button, comment, share, don't.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Forget to subscribe again. Welcome to the k WOTS podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hey guys, welcome to an all new episode of the
k WATS podcast. I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you
know me as K Watson. I'm super excited, guys, because
I have a friend in the building and it took
us a while just to be able.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
To hit the record button.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But and true bethning Rick's fashion, this is what happens.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So I definitely want to welcome my friend.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I mean, she is all of the things I'm talking about, strategists,
I'm talking about mom wife. But now I'm gonna call
her an author. That's right, A face forward, reclaiming your
hope when it seems that everything has a fell apart, missus,
Bethany rick Jackson, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I was saying, forehead because what we have today in
the building saints.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
The believers, good night, and for those of God is listen. Listen.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
For those that aren't watching and are just listening, they
have no idea what you're talking.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
About right now?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
What things for certain? Two things we're sure, okay, Bethany, Bernie's.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh Rennie, we get in the We're getting the mill
of the podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
He has a forehead. She was born with a Cranian.
I have a big head, and I have a forehead
on me, and today she's a shining I didn't know.
I did not know.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Okay, So before I dive into all things, face forward
first and foremost, can I just go ahead and just
give you your friend flowers. I would like to if
you don't mind. Oh yeah, I have to do this
because listen, listen. I remember years ago asking the Lord
(02:21):
how well I know people that I'm supposed to connect with,
people that I'm supposed to call a friend. And the
Holy Spirit responded and said, you will know them by
their fruit, and that has always stayed with me. Okay,
So I want to give you flowers because I think
that you, possibly in the last year and a half,
(02:44):
have gone over and beyond, in my opinion, for someone
that is so busy, for someone that is afar, for
someone that is raising too cute cute, cutest kids ever,
for someone who I still consider a newlywed, you have
showed up for me in so many different ways, and
(03:05):
I want to say thank you because you did not
have to. And every time I have asked, you have
said yes girl, and not just said yes girl, but
you have showed up saying yes girl. So I just
want to say yes girl, Yes, Yes, I love you,
I love you.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
To appreciate you. Yes, it's easy when you've been said
no to or experience silence rapeatedly over and over again.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, but it takes.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
But let's be clear now, every person that says yes girl,
that says it they're for you, actually show up for you.
So I want to be able to tell you that
there is something and I do believe that your book
kind of like gave me a newfound appreciation on your
maturity on your words carry weight.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
When you say something, you mean it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, And I think that that is something that I
learned in reading the book, that your character isn't just
a fluke. It isn't for show. Like there has been
a walk in a journey for you to get here.
And I'm just so grateful because me as your sister,
me as your friend, I get to reap the fruit
off of your walk in your journey. And sometimes we
(04:21):
take that stuff for granted. Sometimes we say maybe, like
somebody they cool, yes this, but we don't really know
all of the nuances behind the scenes that it took
and that you walk through before I even met you
to get to the point to where if I'm like Beth,
think send me this Beth thing.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Got it. If I'm like be think, what can you
recommend for this Beth thing?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Got it? I'm like, Beth think, I need you to
show up in a room and I need you to
just rip off the hip.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
What does Beth? She shows up in the room and
she rips off the hip.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
So, yes, girls, there's a lot, there's a lot up here. Yeah,
but you know you're you talk about fruit, and you
know people's voices that's a manifestation of their care. And
if we are quiet enough and sit still enough long enough,
(05:08):
you can clock people's character because people are their patterns.
Oh doesn't mean people can change. Pay attention to what
I'm saying. You can change, but people are their patterns.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I brought a notebook on purpose.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I'm not listen. I have sad enough times with you already.
I Am not going to do myself a disservice. You
may catch me what's not prepared, but the second I'll
be like, oh, this ain't a fluke forty five seconds in.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's also it's in the book. But you know, so okay,
their patterns. I'm so good at my job, I could
clock a pattern.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, before I dive in, let's okay,
the book is dropped. Let's say it's coming out in
two weeks. For the sake of us, what second pre
orders are available? Now you have orders?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Still, we're in that final push.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But we are in the final push of Face Forward releasing,
and I just want to know, like, what are the
feels because this seems like again when we read the book,
it is a span over two decades of a journey
for you that you are now revealing to the world.
For people that may have known you personally up close,
there's probably stuff in this book that they didn't know, right,
(06:33):
People that'd be like, girl, I've been your friend for
quite a minute, were when we were breaking brand and
this was not revealed.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Just so there's that.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I got a text last night from a girlfriend who
she got her hands on the book, and all it
says is, I'll have to send you a screenshot of it.
Who's the guy in Portland?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
You did really good with privacy, not naming names, changing names,
not naming Listen.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yeah, she said, who's the guy in Portland? Because you
know all the names except for three my children in Denise,
Denise's Denise. But other than that she wanted to know.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, we all want to know, Okay, but we're respecting
the privacy of people in the walk that they're going
through over there.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Okay, okay, So all right. I wrote down a.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Couple of things that I that were like standouts for me.
I do want to be honest with you, I smiled
when reading the book. I also weeped when reading I
just want to be honest with you now out Okay,
I wasn't expecting to weep, and I just want to
preface this for people that are listening. I wasn't weeping
because it's sad. Okay, I'm weeping because as a woman,
(07:54):
as a woman of color, as a woman who worked
in corporate, as a woman that has in certain situations,
that this book is very relatable to so many of us,
to where you gave words to certain traumas that haven't
been spoken of in a very long time. And I
(08:17):
was reminded that while I felt so alone, that other
people can relate during certain seasons and situations I was
walking through that there was my girl, Bethne experiencing something
very similar, and there may be so many other women
that were that were navigating not being appreciated, being told
(08:40):
that they were not of value, being completely minimized. And
I just was like, Okay, I didn't know we were
going here, but we did.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
But one of the statements that I kind of like
wrote down that I think that any person that's listening,
when they're saying, like, who would this book relate to?
If you have been the youngest, the first, or the
only in any area of your life. I really feel
like this book relates to you. I agree, I really do,
(09:17):
because there is something that happens when you're the youngest
person in the room, when you're the first person to
do something in your family and the generation or in
the culture, and then when you're the only person in
the room that maybe that you look a certain way,
maybe you talk a certain way, maybe you.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Come from something different.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
If you can relate to any of those, then I
really feel like the book is for you, and I'm
just curious, what do you think with that?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
No, I agree, it's for men and women who have
been the only ones. It's for people who have struggled
with self doubt, so if they're in a leadership position
or if they just can't figure it out, for people
who have failed more than once. So that's all of us. Yeah,
(10:08):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah, because we have.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Been the only ones in the room with inexperience and
doing new things. This is new for me, you know,
this is I left a booming career to do something
new and do something different, and so I agree with
that completely.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I want to start off too, like, I think that
one of the things that I have learned in my
time with you is that maybe a lot of people
don't know that you're a PK, right, And I don't
think they're I don't really feel like you wear that
as like a badge. But this is the thing that
I love being married to a PK. It comes out
(10:53):
during certain things. So as I'm reading this and you're
referencing certain things that your dad had said, or even
just your foundation, it was very clear at a very
kind of like young early age that you had the
foundation so that when things looked like they were falling apart,
there was a question that you had positioned and I
(11:15):
was kind of like, hmm, that's it's a really good
question that I think all of us can relate to.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
But you said, God, where do I cast all these cares?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
And I've been in seasons and situations which I feel
like a lot of us have as a woman of faith,
where I'm like, okay, God, like I've casted that one.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
But I got like, tim more.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Yeah, what do you want me to do with these?
Because by the way, the ones that I cast on you,
you haven't answered or done anything with those. You haven't
done anythings with those, which is why I ended up
in the rain.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
So let's let's talk about that. That was a part
that was triggering for me, just I didn't know I.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Also made a trailer. That trailer is a reenactment of
the first chapter.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So talk to me a little bit about like for
those that haven't read the book and they're interested to know,
like the concept that maybe they are following me on
social media and they see the clips of you, you know,
standing in the rank, can you just kind of like
unpack why that was such an important and visual that
you wanted to give people in reference to the book.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Because I think that the book starts with me walking
out asking God questions, and that can happen in the garage,
that could happen in the seat of your car, that
can happen in the shower, that can happen in your
place of work. For me, I had been pushed to
(12:48):
the brink the day before promotion that the only thing
I could think to do was to walk into what
I call nature's white noise in search of answers. Because
I didn't feel like God was listening to me. I
had cast all my worries and concerns, and that is relatable.
(13:14):
There are very few believers and non believers who have
prayed a prayer and they did not feel like God
heard them or was answering quick enough. And so I
asked the reader a series of questions, which tells you
what I'm not going to do is solve your problem
(13:36):
for you. What I will do is answer ask questions
to take you on a journey to get you to
an answer that sustainable. And that's the through line in
the book. So with the failure, with the fear, with
the self doubt, you will need resilience and you will
need grit as you find the answers to these questions
(13:59):
that you're all asking. And so I wanted to re
enact that particular scene in the book because I think
it resonates powerfully. I think there's something to be said
for you know, you look like you have so many
questions I do. You can ask them, listen.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I wrote a lot of them down, but you ask
them all.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
But there's more that are coming to my mind right now,
and I feel like, you know, maybe it's for someone
that's listening, but there is something that you have found
which I know that only the Holy Spirit can provide,
which is freedom and failing. Yes, because what I have
realized is that so much of my desire and need
(14:48):
to be successful really came from a place of shame
m and striving to at least boss up in certain
areas because I was a embarrassed or ashamed of maybe
what my personal look like. So I excelled so well
in a professional space, but when you have these moments
(15:11):
that show up of just kind of like I tried,
it didn't go well. I fell flat on my face.
I was exposed to not being the smartest person in
the room. That idea did not flourish how I thought
it was. It seems that you just have kind of
like gotten real free on And that's okay, like very
(15:34):
But the reason why that's such like counterculture the thing
is because so many of us, especially as black women,
have been told that we got to be the best
in the room.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Yes, and I was told that you've got to be there.
By the way, if you which you know, of course
you read the book. I was told, by the way,
if you're not successful, you ruined it for everyone who
looks like you jeeves end quote. That is a direct quote. Yeah,
so I understand that, but that is not First of all,
(16:06):
it's not possible. So I'm not in the business of
trying to strive towards it impossible.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I don't know if I actually heard it when I
was in corporate.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I definitely know I felt it. I know I also
felt it and in church. But where at the part
be the best or be perfect?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Oh? You heard it with silence.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
But then when I really thought about this, when I
was reading your book, I was trying to really go
back and try to figure out when did I first
hear it? And the truth of the matter is, the
first time I heard it was from my mother saying
that she had to be the best in the room
because she was a black woman's single mom and she
(16:59):
had my brother as a teenager. So she showed up
unqualified for the job. And my mom has worked in
the legal field all her life. For people that don't know.
Born and raised from Baltimore, my mom actually went to Washington,
d C. For a job because she knew that they
were going to pay more and she needed the money.
And she showed up in the room to be a
(17:20):
legal assistant to one of the top lawyers in DC
at the time. And her competition was someone that I
think had graduated from like Georgetown or some IVY League school, right,
white woman overqualified, And Mom was like, I don't really
have the resume. But at that time, her high school
teacher taught her shorthand and my mom could type like
(17:45):
something crazy like two hundred and fifty words a minute.
Was her skill, that's all she had. So she showed
up to the interview. The lawyer ended up hiring her,
and he said, I hired you not because that she
were qualified. She was actually more qualified. I hired you
because I could tell you wanted it more. I never
(18:07):
want to see you late, and you better be the
best assistant in this entire firm. And my mother carried
that with her, and.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
She internalized that, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And she has told me this story when I entered
into the professional like all throughout my life, like that
is a story that she has carried with her. So maybe,
unbeknownst to me, I just kind of carry her own
personal story with me, meaning.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
To sometimes that yeah, sometimes that happens, and sometimes it's silence,
lack of invitation, right.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That don't help, because all those experiences did also happen.
So then I internalized it was because I'm not the
best in the room.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Exactly, and so it kind of compounds. But you know,
for someone listening, they go, Okay, how do you break that?
In the book repeatedly, ye, I come back to you
decide m h. You decide so in this particular on
this particular topic that we're talking about, you decide what
you internalize, You decide what you allow to be put
(19:12):
in your bucket. You decide that. And so I had
to decide that that was not going to be the
formula that I was going to operate off of. Now
this story is not in the book, but I'll give
(19:34):
an example of what that looked like for me, so
people don't think I'm just like, you know, talking talking trash.
CEO of the company I worked for, which is one
of the country's most prestigious brands. It's been around for
over one hundred years, looks at me. I'm at this
(19:55):
point the SVP of HR and tells me he wants
to develop me to become the CMO. That's a chief
marketing officer. Now, the marketing officer salary significantly different than
the head of HR salary. Those are those millions look
(20:15):
different and my boss is sitting there. Now most people
would lean into that and I looked at him and
told him no. And the reason I told him no
is because you have to know who you are before
(20:37):
people tell you. And what I knew was as much
as I love marketing and branding, I hate growth margin bridges.
And I know, and I see what I'm saying, and
I know that there's more to marketing, branding and advertising
(20:57):
than creating brands and ideas and commercials and things like like.
There's a whole lot to that and that ain't me.
But I could have chased what people were saying to
prove everyone wrong. And I told him no. But that's
(21:18):
because I knew who I was, and I was not
concerned about the ripple effect of telling the CEO of
a company now right right, And I was willing to
deal with the repercussions of that. And there were no
repercussions for I mean, you know, he had something to
say about somebody telling him no. But you know, the
(21:39):
point of the story is when you know who you
are before people tell you, that creates a suit of
armor against self doubt, against the words that we could
easily internalize and things like that. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I think what do you say to the person that
is struggling with saying no? And maybe the no is
from feeling a need to prove themselves. But what if
it is for people that are saying financially, it may
be a smarter move, Like what if they're looking at
(22:22):
it to where financially, even if I have to degrade myself,
even if I have to compromise my character, if this
could have a ripple effect on my family and my household, Like,
maybe I should just go head on and say yes
and bite the bullet.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
What do you have to Compromises tell a story too?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh? Write it down, guys.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, compromises tell a story too. And it that's a
dead end. Your compromises are a dead end, a dead end,
and compromises are not free. And the reason I'm so
sharp with that is because there will always be a
(23:06):
compromise to be made for financial gain. That's good always.
And I'm not saying it from a perch of comfort.
I'm saying it as someone who did it and my
compromises put me in the hospital on the verge of
stroke because I was compromising hours for Well, if I
(23:29):
do this now and I can give up a little
time here. I was looking the other way on things
because I can't say no, because if I say no,
then that means I'm not in the room anymore. And
if I'm not in the room anymore, I'm not a
decision maker. And if I'm not a decision maker, I
don't have any value. And if I don't have any value,
then I don't have a job anymore. If I don't
have a job anymore, I'm not gonna be able to provide.
(23:51):
Look at the Lifetime movie I just created to compromise
my character, wow, Or the Life crime movie I created
to add another ten to twenty thousand dollars on a bonus,
but can't sleep at night. So what was the question?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I don't think it matters anymore.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, so you know character is the bar. Yeah, so
we're talking about people of faith. Where's your hope? That's
the question. Got a whole chapter called Splintered Hope? Where's
your hope? Now, I'm not saying that you don't plan.
I'm not saying that you don't navigate the office environments
(24:43):
strategically and with some sense. I'm saying that as an
HR professional. But I'm also saying don't misplace your hope
and don't create lifetime movies. Because never once in my
career when I stood ten toes down as it related
to character and integrity did I receive significant backlash. Was
(25:05):
I not invited to the after party? Oh? Sure, do
I care? No? I want to go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Anyway, Come on, we value sleep.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
You know what was I? Was I not a part
of the in crowd? No? I was never really a
part of the in crowd? But was I the first
door they knocked on when they needed advice and counsel? Yes?
So what's the bar? What bar are you trying to clear?
(25:36):
If you want to clear the popularity bar, then we
can have that conversation.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
So one of the things also when I was reading,
because for those that know, you just really don't care
about social media. And I just want to say that
I've been so proud of you. I've been I've been
so proud of the consistency of you showing up like
dealing it with this content. But I do want to
(26:06):
bring this up because I think that it's relevant. It's
definitely relevant in the state that we are as far
as like when you talk about marketing, when you talk
about the way that the world is going and how
it's connected so much to social media, and so many
people are finding their identities and their voices on social media. Like,
quite frankly, when I say finding their voice, like the
(26:28):
amount of voiceover content actually freaks me out, Like I
purposely don't do it because I don't want to get
that comfortable using someone else's audio bites. Oh, Like, I
think that's so like the fact that so many believers
(26:48):
in Christian content creators don't see it as like an
issue blows my mind.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
And this isn't from a place of judgment.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I just think those are one of those sneaky tactics
that the enemy can use to silence our voice. But
one of the things that I think has really really
resonated with me in regards to your lack of interest
of being popular, your lack of interest of being in.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Sta famous TikTok famous.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
It's quite frankly, could have been all of the lessons
that you learned being in corporate to where how when
you then, and I'm very curious to know when you
now look at this new wave over the last kind
of like ten years on how social media has just
really adapted this culture of creating its own system of
(27:43):
popularity and what's going to be trendy and all of
these things.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Have we just bought into the.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Same narrative that we were buying into twenty something years ago,
trying to be at the top of the food chain
in corporate and we just don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Oh, yes, same thing, it's same saying. I mean, and
you know in the faith space, is the monetization of
the Bible, of the gospel?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Oh Lord, don't get me off.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
So what has been freely given to us, we put
a price on? Oh what I said, cost of entry
in the business world, it is what it is. So
what you oh do I need to slow down? No?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Pause, wait, you can't just drop something? Okay, you get
just now now?
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Well no, no, no, no, no, a thousand percent. Are
you just gonna ripple them all off? Are you just
gonna run through them? Or are we just are we
gonna unpack you any?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Pause?
Speaker 3 (28:47):
I mean, I say, do you want me to repeat it?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah? I do it all my time.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Yeah, the monetization of the gospel, what was freely given
to us, we now put a price tag on. So
there's a price of entry for freedom. There's a price
of entry for freedom. Instead of spreading the good news,
we jump on the trends. When's the last time you've
(29:15):
heard someone speak about what Christ did for them and
how He saved their soul. I mean, and as an
HR executive, it would have been really easy for me
to write a book from a Phariseic lens because all
(29:38):
I did was sit back and judge people and give
assessments of people.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Would have been easy to do. And I'm not saying
that's the right thing to do, but I'm talking about
me because one thing I'm not going to do is
talk about everybody else and not talking about myself. It
would have been easy, given my career, to sit back, assess, judge,
problem solved. Here's the problem. Here are three solutions for you.
That's what I did every day for twenty years. Give
(30:05):
me the problem, I'll solve it for you very quickly,
and then we'll move on to the next thing. But
instead I looked at my own life and talk about
what God has done for me on this side of belief. Yeah.
That's so good, one trembling step at a time.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
So when I talk about the monetization of the gospel,
I'm I'm talking about why are we putting a price
on what was freely given to us? Now that's a
widespread and somebody's gonna get an attitude because they'll be like, well, which, well,
I'm not your Holy Spirit. All I know is when's
(30:49):
the last time with all this content? Because it looks
the same to me. It looks because I work for
big brands. I work for big brains, billion dollar shareholder
market trading brands. So and what's happening in the business
(31:10):
world is there has been a pivot from brick and
mortar to online, quick fast marketing. Keep you on your phone, consume, consume, consume.
It's still the same principle. If you see it seven times,
you'll buy it. The psychology of human purchase has not changed.
(31:33):
The way we consume has changed, but the transaction at
the end is no different.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I think this is so interesting because it's been something
that one This is the reason why I love bringing
and one of the reasons why I really brought you
to say grace is because that you have such a
different perspective that I think cuts through the noise of
the rat race of trying to go viral. As a
(32:07):
Christian content creator and I don't even know where to
put that to be.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah, it's not. And for even the viral piece is
people are being priced out of community. Oh, within the
body of people being priced out of community. They're priced
out of conferences. Wow, they're priced out of masterminds, faith
based price they're priced out. The saint is priced out
(32:35):
of freedom.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Well, then this goes into the question. This goes into
the question of how do I make money? Or the
big question where is our hope place? Is the whole
place in the fact of getting in the room, to
be in the room of other community and people that
we think are going to be our bridge or our
(33:02):
connection to make it to the next level.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Is it really truly about the gospel? Is it really
truly about walking?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
It's the new ageent network. It's a new form of networking.
That's what that is.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Network.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, it's the new it's the new age network. That's
that's what that is. Because community is will you say
yes to free for now again? You have to I'm
talking to the believer. If someone calls and says, I
(33:37):
have a group of women that I feel like your
message you can pour into them, do you have an
open heart? If God says, and I want you to
go for free.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Again.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah, that's what I mean by priced out of community?
Or is it? Listen, I have built this brand over
ten years. I need you to pay me my five
thousand I have. But God said, are you pausing long enough?
(34:12):
What is what does God want you to do? Are
we putting brand ahead of souls? Oh? Are we putting
brand ahead of share the good news? So voiceovers great?
But is that voiceover what you're to your point? What
you're supposed to be like? Is that the message that
(34:34):
you're supposed to be sending? And by the way, does
God even want you online anyway?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Because you won't even talk to your neighbor who's across
the street. And this is from someone who's not neighboring.
Same again, I will talk about everybody else because I'm
gonna talk about myself too, like you're gonna get a
wave from me. But trust and believe me. Being online,
(35:04):
I am living out scripture in my community in my house.
I had to do that first. And my pastor, who
happens to also be my father.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I love It, looked at me at this summer and said, oh,
you can go out and speak and preach, but you're
going to preach in this house too, and had me
preach back to back Sundays.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Wow, Now here's why that's important.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yeah, because we.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Live in a time right now that is attacking the
Gospel and the role that certain people play within the
body of Christ. And what won't be happening is no
one will know who you are before people tell you,
and know who you are in Christ before people tell you.
No one can look at me and say you can't
have a microphone. Because my pastor and my husband who
(35:55):
was in the front row taking notes when I was preaching,
have both said, go forth as the Lord sends you. Somebody,
y'all ain't listening.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Now we're listening. We're listening. I am listening and note taking.
But anyway, face forward, I was like, I'm like, how
do I even bring this back? But I'm going to
because that is my job in this situation. Again, as
I was reading face forward, this goes into the well
(36:31):
of wisdom that you have because there has been and
this is the reason why this should be so encouraging
to the reader. This is the reason why it should
be so encouraging to those that are listening, because you're
not speaking from a face like you said, it'll be
real easy to be a pharisee in this situation. It'll
be real easy. You've had twenty years to sit back
(36:53):
and note, take on all of the wrongs that have
been done, myself righteous, all the things, so many stories,
and yet it's still you bear out some of the
most vulnerable, uncomfortable moments that I think as women that
we could so these are This is one of the
(37:13):
topics that I know that you haven't really used your
platform to talk about, but I do feel like it's necessary.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Okay, so I'm practicing this.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
I want to know what it looks like to forgive
someone that has violated you.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
You said, I forget.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Let's walk that thing out right now. If we haven't forgetten,
where do we go?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
We gotta price this hilarious.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Well, if even if you're saying, oh, I haven't forgiven them,
what has been the process of forgiveness when you have
been violated? Because I want to be clear here, there
is not one person that's gonna read this book, that's
gonna listen to this episode and say that I have
not been violated, abused and mistreated in some sort of fashion.
Rather that is from a spouse, a parent, a loved one,
(38:13):
a colleague, someone who used to call a friend. Like
that is something that we have experienced, probably not all
in the same way, probably not all in the same magnitude,
but we've all experienced it.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
So I'm just curious, Like it was.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I mean, and I have I was joking, I have forgiven,
but it was it was a long road now, this
part of not joking about, okay, and it took it
took years. Yeah, so it was not lord And by
the way, I wasn't trying to either. It was not
a priority.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's very honest that what happens when forgiveness is not
a priory.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
It was that though. Yeah, it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Uh, And I was you feel like that was because
you felt like because I.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Was angry when I say in the book, I was angry.
I was so mad. Why were these things happening to me?
Why was I having to go through the trenches of life?
In one hand, I had all of this success, I
was experiencing kind of unprecedented things in my family and
for my family, and then in this other hand, despair, agony,
(39:25):
deep hurt, abuse, So no, I was forgiveness was not
on the priority list, and I wasn't thinking about it,
and in part because I wasn't thinking about what God
had done for me, and I was focused on what
I deserved, and so I had to walk that out
(39:52):
with God. And the walking out with God was him
in his patience with me, because at no point in
time did God say, by the way, before I heal you,
before you are redeemed, before X, Y and Z, this
(40:12):
and this is required. You must forgive this person, this person,
this person, this person, this person. That's not what happened.
All he did is say, come to me, Wow, come
rest with me. I've never left you, I'll never forsake you.
(40:32):
I've never dropped you. I'm consistent. And in that closeness
and that intimacy, that also took a long time, because
I was viewing God as I viewed all of those people.
They left me, so he's going to. They forsook me,
so he's going to. But in his consistency, intimacy grew
(40:55):
and then I remembered what he did for me, and
in that opening, I also wanted him to do the
same thing for some of the people who had done
me wrong. You know, as I said for some of
the people, because I didn't clop everybody immediately. I'm just
being real.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
It's true, it's true.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
But been in all seriousness. Then I started growing in
that forgiveness and I really wish peace and redemption for
every single person who has done me wrong, because I
have done people wrong, because I have done people wrong
(41:40):
knowingly and unknowingly. I have knowingly done people wrong, and
in Jesus name, forgive me. And he has given me
an opportunity to ask them for forgiveness and say I
was wrong? Will you forgive me? And sometimes people have not.
(42:00):
Sometimes they'd be like, listen, it's a choice. I accept
what you said. But nah, this is this is the
business world. Ain't no forgiven here. I'll see you outside.
But for me, again, characters the bar, not my ego.
I'm trying to do right. So it was it was
(42:22):
a journey, but was a journey because I was hurt
and I'd been dropped, and I had been dropped because
of my expectations. I had been dropped because I had
placed my hope and other people and in things and
then had them snatched away. So yeah, that's what that
looked like. But today I am free, and I'm quick
(42:45):
to forgive and quick to apologize. And while I hurt
somebody's feelings, probably not on purpose though, And I would
hope that you know, just as quick as the Lord
is to forgive me when I am wrong, that you
know I would be just that way with other people
(43:07):
because people are going to be people in and I
am people.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
I am people too. I am people.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
To everybody, raise their hand and say, I am people.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Lord forgive us all.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Lord forget because I am people.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
That's what that that I mean. That is a very
real That was just a very real journey for me,
and it did it. It take It took a couple
of years, but God broke off that stevement that was
around my heart because I was trying to protect myself
and protect my babies. And somebody may be like, what
do you mean by that? To protect my I had
(43:47):
to protect my heart so that I could protect my
babies because I could not be I did not want
to be a weeping mother and I had a lot
to weep about, and so I hardened myself. Mh I
went real hard. Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Well, I'm glad that I get to experience the softer side.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Oh yeah, now we nice and saw. I love that
out staying somebody if they need to be stunned.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Well, on that note, tell people where they can order
face Forward, Tell people what you're hoping and desiring that
they get out of Face Forward, and all of your handles,
because you are popping right now on social media.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
You just love you just love that.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
You love it, and as it continues to grow, I'm
gonna love it even more because it was Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
You're like not book trailers, not we're doing movies, We're
doing all things. All the things. You can find me.
Bethany ris So the et h N Y no A,
r c K S Jesus, Led, Bible Fed is picking
up again. Led and Fed newsletter is going to pick
(45:08):
up in about a week. You can join that newsletter
on my website, Bethanywrix dot com. You can buy face
Forward everywhere Barnes and Noble, Target, Amazon, all the things,
and it'll be in your bookstores across the country October
the first. And we're excited and yeah, I'm doing podcasts
(45:33):
and talking about it and oh thanks.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
So via all the things. Well, I just want to
say thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
You for being you Thank you for sharing some of
the most vulnerable testimonials I've ever heard, but thank you
for doing it so graciously.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Thank you for walking this thing out in humility.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I really do look to you as like a mentor,
like I look to you to see how does one
walk in humility and grace and kindness, But also there's
so much strength and you have just modeled that so well.
So just thank you for modeling that well.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
But guys, of.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Course, guys, go order a face for it right now.
Like she said, we're all books are sold. Go go
go go, go go go go. Follow her on social
media Jesus lab Bible fed as well. Thank you for
tuning in to this episode of the KWATS podcast. Definitely
make sure that you like, share, and subscribe and comment.
Until next time, be blessed.
Hey guys, Welcome to the k WATS podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you know me as
K Watts and I'm super excited that you decided to
join me today.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
This is the podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Where we chat about the questions we ask God, we
share testimonials about healing, wholeness, and forgiveness. It doesn't matter
what season of life you may be in or the
journey you may be currently walking through. I know that
this podcast will bless you. At the end of the episode.
If you feel like that this has done exactly what
I said, definitely hit that like button, comment, share, don't.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Forget to subscribe again. Welcome to the k WOTS podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Hey guys, welcome to an all new episode of the
k WATS podcast. I'm your host Kashawn Watson, but you
know me as K Watson. I'm super excited, guys, because
I have a friend in the building and it took
us a while just to be able.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
To hit the record button.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But and true bethning Rick's fashion, this is what happens.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So I definitely want to welcome my friend.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I mean, she is all of the things I'm talking about, strategists,
I'm talking about mom wife. But now I'm gonna call
her an author. That's right, A face forward, reclaiming your
hope when it seems that everything has a fell apart, missus,
Bethany rick Jackson, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
I was saying, forehead because what we have today in
the building saints.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
The believers, good night, and for those of God is listen. Listen.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
For those that aren't watching and are just listening, they
have no idea what you're talking.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
About right now?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
What things for certain? Two things we're sure, okay, Bethany, Bernie's.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh Rennie, we get in the We're getting the mill
of the podcast.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
He has a forehead. She was born with a Cranian.
I have a big head, and I have a forehead
on me, and today she's a shining I didn't know.
I did not know.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
Okay, So before I dive into all things, face forward
first and foremost, can I just go ahead and just
give you your friend flowers. I would like to if
you don't mind. Oh yeah, I have to do this
because listen, listen. I remember years ago asking the Lord
(02:21):
how well I know people that I'm supposed to connect with,
people that I'm supposed to call a friend. And the
Holy Spirit responded and said, you will know them by
their fruit, and that has always stayed with me. Okay,
So I want to give you flowers because I think
that you, possibly in the last year and a half,
(02:44):
have gone over and beyond, in my opinion, for someone
that is so busy, for someone that is afar, for
someone that is raising too cute cute, cutest kids ever,
for someone who I still consider a newlywed, you have
showed up for me in so many different ways, and
(03:05):
I want to say thank you because you did not
have to. And every time I have asked, you have
said yes girl, and not just said yes girl, but
you have showed up saying yes girl. So I just
want to say yes girl, Yes, Yes, I love you,
I love you.
Speaker 3 (03:24):
To appreciate you. Yes, it's easy when you've been said
no to or experience silence rapeatedly over and over again.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Yeah, but it takes.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
But let's be clear now, every person that says yes girl,
that says it they're for you, actually show up for you.
So I want to be able to tell you that
there is something and I do believe that your book
kind of like gave me a newfound appreciation on your
maturity on your words carry weight.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
When you say something, you mean it.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
Yeah, And I think that that is something that I
learned in reading the book, that your character isn't just
a fluke. It isn't for show. Like there has been
a walk in a journey for you to get here.
And I'm just so grateful because me as your sister,
me as your friend, I get to reap the fruit
off of your walk in your journey. And sometimes we
(04:21):
take that stuff for granted. Sometimes we say maybe, like
somebody they cool, yes this, but we don't really know
all of the nuances behind the scenes that it took
and that you walk through before I even met you
to get to the point to where if I'm like Beth,
think send me this Beth thing.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Got it. If I'm like be think, what can you
recommend for this Beth thing?
Speaker 2 (04:39):
Got it? I'm like, Beth think, I need you to
show up in a room and I need you to
just rip off the hip.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
What does Beth? She shows up in the room and
she rips off the hip.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
So, yes, girls, there's a lot, there's a lot up here. Yeah,
but you know you're you talk about fruit, and you
know people's voices that's a manifestation of their care. And
if we are quiet enough and sit still enough long enough,
(05:08):
you can clock people's character because people are their patterns.
Oh doesn't mean people can change. Pay attention to what
I'm saying. You can change, but people are their patterns.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
I brought a notebook on purpose.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
I'm not listen. I have sad enough times with you already.
I Am not going to do myself a disservice. You
may catch me what's not prepared, but the second I'll
be like, oh, this ain't a fluke forty five seconds in.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's also it's in the book. But you know, so okay,
their patterns. I'm so good at my job, I could
clock a pattern.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Yeah, okay, okay, okay, okay, before I dive in, let's okay,
the book is dropped. Let's say it's coming out in
two weeks. For the sake of us, what second pre
orders are available? Now you have orders?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Still, we're in that final push.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But we are in the final push of Face Forward releasing,
and I just want to know, like, what are the
feels because this seems like again when we read the book,
it is a span over two decades of a journey
for you that you are now revealing to the world.
For people that may have known you personally up close,
there's probably stuff in this book that they didn't know, right,
(06:33):
People that'd be like, girl, I've been your friend for
quite a minute, were when we were breaking brand and
this was not revealed.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Just so there's that.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
I got a text last night from a girlfriend who
she got her hands on the book, and all it
says is, I'll have to send you a screenshot of it.
Who's the guy in Portland?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
You did really good with privacy, not naming names, changing names,
not naming Listen.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Yeah, she said, who's the guy in Portland? Because you
know all the names except for three my children in Denise,
Denise's Denise. But other than that she wanted to know.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Yeah, we all want to know, Okay, but we're respecting
the privacy of people in the walk that they're going
through over there.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Okay, okay, So all right. I wrote down a.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Couple of things that I that were like standouts for me.
I do want to be honest with you, I smiled
when reading the book. I also weeped when reading I
just want to be honest with you now out Okay,
I wasn't expecting to weep, and I just want to
preface this for people that are listening. I wasn't weeping
because it's sad. Okay, I'm weeping because as a woman,
(07:54):
as a woman of color, as a woman who worked
in corporate, as a woman that has in certain situations,
that this book is very relatable to so many of us,
to where you gave words to certain traumas that haven't
been spoken of in a very long time. And I
(08:17):
was reminded that while I felt so alone, that other
people can relate during certain seasons and situations I was
walking through that there was my girl, Bethne experiencing something
very similar, and there may be so many other women
that were that were navigating not being appreciated, being told
(08:40):
that they were not of value, being completely minimized. And
I just was like, Okay, I didn't know we were
going here, but we did.
Speaker 1 (08:48):
Thank you so much, Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
But one of the statements that I kind of like
wrote down that I think that any person that's listening,
when they're saying, like, who would this book relate to?
If you have been the youngest, the first, or the
only in any area of your life. I really feel
like this book relates to you. I agree, I really do,
(09:17):
because there is something that happens when you're the youngest
person in the room, when you're the first person to
do something in your family and the generation or in
the culture, and then when you're the only person in
the room that maybe that you look a certain way,
maybe you talk a certain way, maybe you.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
Come from something different.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
If you can relate to any of those, then I
really feel like the book is for you, and I'm
just curious, what do you think with that?
Speaker 3 (09:43):
No, I agree, it's for men and women who have
been the only ones. It's for people who have struggled
with self doubt, so if they're in a leadership position
or if they just can't figure it out, for people
who have failed more than once. So that's all of us. Yeah,
(10:08):
I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah, because we have.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Been the only ones in the room with inexperience and
doing new things. This is new for me, you know,
this is I left a booming career to do something
new and do something different, and so I agree with
that completely.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
I want to start off too, like, I think that
one of the things that I have learned in my
time with you is that maybe a lot of people
don't know that you're a PK, right, And I don't
think they're I don't really feel like you wear that
as like a badge. But this is the thing that
I love being married to a PK. It comes out
(10:53):
during certain things. So as I'm reading this and you're
referencing certain things that your dad had said, or even
just your foundation, it was very clear at a very
kind of like young early age that you had the
foundation so that when things looked like they were falling apart,
there was a question that you had positioned and I
(11:15):
was kind of like, hmm, that's it's a really good
question that I think all of us can relate to.
Speaker 1 (11:22):
But you said, God, where do I cast all these cares?
Speaker 3 (11:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
And I've been in seasons and situations which I feel
like a lot of us have as a woman of faith,
where I'm like, okay, God, like I've casted that one.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
But I got like, tim more.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
Yeah, what do you want me to do with these?
Because by the way, the ones that I cast on you,
you haven't answered or done anything with those. You haven't
done anythings with those, which is why I ended up
in the rain.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
So let's let's talk about that. That was a part
that was triggering for me, just I didn't know I.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Also made a trailer. That trailer is a reenactment of
the first chapter.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
So talk to me a little bit about like for
those that haven't read the book and they're interested to know,
like the concept that maybe they are following me on
social media and they see the clips of you, you know,
standing in the rank, can you just kind of like
unpack why that was such an important and visual that
you wanted to give people in reference to the book.
Speaker 3 (12:25):
Because I think that the book starts with me walking
out asking God questions, and that can happen in the garage,
that could happen in the seat of your car, that
can happen in the shower, that can happen in your
place of work. For me, I had been pushed to
(12:48):
the brink the day before promotion that the only thing
I could think to do was to walk into what
I call nature's white noise in search of answers. Because
I didn't feel like God was listening to me. I
had cast all my worries and concerns, and that is relatable.
(13:14):
There are very few believers and non believers who have
prayed a prayer and they did not feel like God
heard them or was answering quick enough. And so I
asked the reader a series of questions, which tells you
what I'm not going to do is solve your problem
(13:36):
for you. What I will do is answer ask questions
to take you on a journey to get you to
an answer that sustainable. And that's the through line in
the book. So with the failure, with the fear, with
the self doubt, you will need resilience and you will
need grit as you find the answers to these questions
(13:59):
that you're all asking. And so I wanted to re
enact that particular scene in the book because I think
it resonates powerfully. I think there's something to be said
for you know, you look like you have so many
questions I do. You can ask them, listen.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I wrote a lot of them down, but you ask
them all.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
But there's more that are coming to my mind right now,
and I feel like, you know, maybe it's for someone
that's listening, but there is something that you have found
which I know that only the Holy Spirit can provide,
which is freedom and failing. Yes, because what I have
realized is that so much of my desire and need
(14:48):
to be successful really came from a place of shame
m and striving to at least boss up in certain
areas because I was a embarrassed or ashamed of maybe
what my personal look like. So I excelled so well
in a professional space, but when you have these moments
(15:11):
that show up of just kind of like I tried,
it didn't go well. I fell flat on my face.
I was exposed to not being the smartest person in
the room. That idea did not flourish how I thought
it was. It seems that you just have kind of
like gotten real free on And that's okay, like very
(15:34):
But the reason why that's such like counterculture the thing
is because so many of us, especially as black women,
have been told that we got to be the best
in the room.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Yes, and I was told that you've got to be there.
By the way, if you which you know, of course
you read the book. I was told, by the way,
if you're not successful, you ruined it for everyone who
looks like you jeeves end quote. That is a direct quote. Yeah,
so I understand that, but that is not First of all,
(16:06):
it's not possible. So I'm not in the business of
trying to strive towards it impossible.
Speaker 1 (16:16):
I'm curious.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I don't know if I actually heard it when I
was in corporate.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I definitely know I felt it. I know I also
felt it and in church. But where at the part
be the best or be perfect?
Speaker 3 (16:35):
Oh? You heard it with silence.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
But then when I really thought about this, when I
was reading your book, I was trying to really go
back and try to figure out when did I first
hear it? And the truth of the matter is, the
first time I heard it was from my mother saying
that she had to be the best in the room
because she was a black woman's single mom and she
(16:59):
had my brother as a teenager. So she showed up
unqualified for the job. And my mom has worked in
the legal field all her life. For people that don't know.
Born and raised from Baltimore, my mom actually went to Washington,
d C. For a job because she knew that they
were going to pay more and she needed the money.
And she showed up in the room to be a
(17:20):
legal assistant to one of the top lawyers in DC
at the time. And her competition was someone that I
think had graduated from like Georgetown or some IVY League school, right,
white woman overqualified, And Mom was like, I don't really
have the resume. But at that time, her high school
teacher taught her shorthand and my mom could type like
(17:45):
something crazy like two hundred and fifty words a minute.
Was her skill, that's all she had. So she showed
up to the interview. The lawyer ended up hiring her,
and he said, I hired you not because that she
were qualified. She was actually more qualified. I hired you
because I could tell you wanted it more. I never
(18:07):
want to see you late, and you better be the
best assistant in this entire firm. And my mother carried
that with her, and.
Speaker 3 (18:15):
She internalized that, yes, yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
And she has told me this story when I entered
into the professional like all throughout my life, like that
is a story that she has carried with her. So maybe,
unbeknownst to me, I just kind of carry her own
personal story with me, meaning.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
To sometimes that yeah, sometimes that happens, and sometimes it's silence,
lack of invitation, right.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
That don't help, because all those experiences did also happen.
So then I internalized it was because I'm not the
best in the room.
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Exactly, and so it kind of compounds. But you know,
for someone listening, they go, Okay, how do you break that?
In the book repeatedly, ye, I come back to you
decide m h. You decide so in this particular on
this particular topic that we're talking about, you decide what
you internalize, You decide what you allow to be put
(19:12):
in your bucket. You decide that. And so I had
to decide that that was not going to be the
formula that I was going to operate off of. Now
this story is not in the book, but I'll give
(19:34):
an example of what that looked like for me, so
people don't think I'm just like, you know, talking talking trash.
CEO of the company I worked for, which is one
of the country's most prestigious brands. It's been around for
over one hundred years, looks at me. I'm at this
(19:55):
point the SVP of HR and tells me he wants
to develop me to become the CMO. That's a chief
marketing officer. Now, the marketing officer salary significantly different than
the head of HR salary. Those are those millions look
(20:15):
different and my boss is sitting there. Now most people
would lean into that and I looked at him and
told him no. And the reason I told him no
is because you have to know who you are before
(20:37):
people tell you. And what I knew was as much
as I love marketing and branding, I hate growth margin bridges.
And I know, and I see what I'm saying, and
I know that there's more to marketing, branding and advertising
(20:57):
than creating brands and ideas and commercials and things like like.
There's a whole lot to that and that ain't me.
But I could have chased what people were saying to
prove everyone wrong. And I told him no. But that's
(21:18):
because I knew who I was, and I was not
concerned about the ripple effect of telling the CEO of
a company now right right, And I was willing to
deal with the repercussions of that. And there were no
repercussions for I mean, you know, he had something to
say about somebody telling him no. But you know, the
(21:39):
point of the story is when you know who you
are before people tell you, that creates a suit of
armor against self doubt, against the words that we could
easily internalize and things like that. Does that make sense?
Speaker 1 (21:57):
It makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I think what do you say to the person that
is struggling with saying no? And maybe the no is
from feeling a need to prove themselves. But what if
it is for people that are saying financially, it may
be a smarter move, Like what if they're looking at
(22:22):
it to where financially, even if I have to degrade myself,
even if I have to compromise my character, if this
could have a ripple effect on my family and my household, Like,
maybe I should just go head on and say yes
and bite the bullet.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
What do you have to Compromises tell a story too?
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Oh? Write it down, guys.
Speaker 3 (22:45):
Yeah, compromises tell a story too. And it that's a
dead end. Your compromises are a dead end, a dead end,
and compromises are not free. And the reason I'm so
sharp with that is because there will always be a
(23:06):
compromise to be made for financial gain. That's good always.
And I'm not saying it from a perch of comfort.
I'm saying it as someone who did it and my
compromises put me in the hospital on the verge of
stroke because I was compromising hours for Well, if I
(23:29):
do this now and I can give up a little
time here. I was looking the other way on things
because I can't say no, because if I say no,
then that means I'm not in the room anymore. And
if I'm not in the room anymore, I'm not a
decision maker. And if I'm not a decision maker, I
don't have any value. And if I don't have any value,
then I don't have a job anymore. If I don't
have a job anymore, I'm not gonna be able to provide.
(23:51):
Look at the Lifetime movie I just created to compromise
my character, wow, Or the Life crime movie I created
to add another ten to twenty thousand dollars on a bonus,
but can't sleep at night. So what was the question?
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I don't think it matters anymore.
Speaker 3 (24:15):
Yeah, so you know character is the bar. Yeah, so
we're talking about people of faith. Where's your hope? That's
the question. Got a whole chapter called Splintered Hope? Where's
your hope? Now, I'm not saying that you don't plan.
I'm not saying that you don't navigate the office environments
(24:43):
strategically and with some sense. I'm saying that as an
HR professional. But I'm also saying don't misplace your hope
and don't create lifetime movies. Because never once in my
career when I stood ten toes down as it related
to character and integrity did I receive significant backlash. Was
(25:05):
I not invited to the after party? Oh? Sure, do
I care? No? I want to go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
Anyway, Come on, we value sleep.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
You know what was I? Was I not a part
of the in crowd? No? I was never really a
part of the in crowd? But was I the first
door they knocked on when they needed advice and counsel? Yes?
So what's the bar? What bar are you trying to clear?
(25:36):
If you want to clear the popularity bar, then we
can have that conversation.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
So one of the things also when I was reading,
because for those that know, you just really don't care
about social media. And I just want to say that
I've been so proud of you. I've been I've been
so proud of the consistency of you showing up like
dealing it with this content. But I do want to
(26:06):
bring this up because I think that it's relevant. It's
definitely relevant in the state that we are as far
as like when you talk about marketing, when you talk
about the way that the world is going and how
it's connected so much to social media, and so many
people are finding their identities and their voices on social media. Like,
quite frankly, when I say finding their voice, like the
(26:28):
amount of voiceover content actually freaks me out, Like I
purposely don't do it because I don't want to get
that comfortable using someone else's audio bites. Oh, Like, I
think that's so like the fact that so many believers
(26:48):
in Christian content creators don't see it as like an
issue blows my mind.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
And this isn't from a place of judgment.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
I just think those are one of those sneaky tactics
that the enemy can use to silence our voice. But
one of the things that I think has really really
resonated with me in regards to your lack of interest
of being popular, your lack of interest of being in.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Sta famous TikTok famous.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
It's quite frankly, could have been all of the lessons
that you learned being in corporate to where how when
you then, and I'm very curious to know when you
now look at this new wave over the last kind
of like ten years on how social media has just
really adapted this culture of creating its own system of
(27:43):
popularity and what's going to be trendy and all of
these things.
Speaker 1 (27:50):
Have we just bought into the.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Same narrative that we were buying into twenty something years ago,
trying to be at the top of the food chain
in corporate and we just don't know.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
Oh, yes, same thing, it's same saying. I mean, and
you know in the faith space, is the monetization of
the Bible, of the gospel?
Speaker 1 (28:12):
Oh Lord, don't get me off.
Speaker 3 (28:13):
So what has been freely given to us, we put
a price on? Oh what I said, cost of entry
in the business world, it is what it is. So
what you oh do I need to slow down? No?
Speaker 1 (28:27):
Wait?
Speaker 2 (28:28):
Pause, wait, you can't just drop something? Okay, you get
just now now?
Speaker 3 (28:36):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Well no, no, no, no, no, a thousand percent. Are
you just gonna ripple them all off? Are you just
gonna run through them? Or are we just are we
gonna unpack you any?
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Pause?
Speaker 3 (28:47):
I mean, I say, do you want me to repeat it?
Speaker 1 (28:52):
Yeah? I do it all my time.
Speaker 3 (28:53):
Yeah, the monetization of the gospel, what was freely given
to us, we now put a price tag on. So
there's a price of entry for freedom. There's a price
of entry for freedom. Instead of spreading the good news,
we jump on the trends. When's the last time you've
(29:15):
heard someone speak about what Christ did for them and
how He saved their soul. I mean, and as an
HR executive, it would have been really easy for me
to write a book from a Phariseic lens because all
(29:38):
I did was sit back and judge people and give
assessments of people.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Would have been easy to do. And I'm not saying
that's the right thing to do, but I'm talking about
me because one thing I'm not going to do is
talk about everybody else and not talking about myself. It
would have been easy, given my career, to sit back, assess, judge,
problem solved. Here's the problem. Here are three solutions for you.
That's what I did every day for twenty years. Give
(30:05):
me the problem, I'll solve it for you very quickly,
and then we'll move on to the next thing. But
instead I looked at my own life and talk about
what God has done for me on this side of belief. Yeah.
That's so good, one trembling step at a time.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
So when I talk about the monetization of the gospel,
I'm I'm talking about why are we putting a price
on what was freely given to us? Now that's a
widespread and somebody's gonna get an attitude because they'll be like, well, which, well,
I'm not your Holy Spirit. All I know is when's
(30:49):
the last time with all this content? Because it looks
the same to me. It looks because I work for
big brands. I work for big brains, billion dollar shareholder
market trading brands. So and what's happening in the business
(31:10):
world is there has been a pivot from brick and
mortar to online, quick fast marketing. Keep you on your phone, consume, consume, consume.
It's still the same principle. If you see it seven times,
you'll buy it. The psychology of human purchase has not changed.
(31:33):
The way we consume has changed, but the transaction at
the end is no different.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (31:47):
I think this is so interesting because it's been something
that one This is the reason why I love bringing
and one of the reasons why I really brought you
to say grace is because that you have such a
different perspective that I think cuts through the noise of
the rat race of trying to go viral. As a
(32:07):
Christian content creator and I don't even know where to
put that to be.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
Yeah, it's not. And for even the viral piece is
people are being priced out of community. Oh, within the
body of people being priced out of community. They're priced
out of conferences. Wow, they're priced out of masterminds, faith
based price they're priced out. The saint is priced out
(32:35):
of freedom.
Speaker 2 (32:38):
Well, then this goes into the question. This goes into
the question of how do I make money? Or the
big question where is our hope place? Is the whole
place in the fact of getting in the room, to
be in the room of other community and people that
we think are going to be our bridge or our
(33:02):
connection to make it to the next level.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Is it really truly about the gospel? Is it really
truly about walking?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
It's the new ageent network. It's a new form of networking.
That's what that is.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Network.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
Yeah, it's the new it's the new age network. That's
that's what that is. Because community is will you say
yes to free for now again? You have to I'm
talking to the believer. If someone calls and says, I
(33:37):
have a group of women that I feel like your
message you can pour into them, do you have an
open heart? If God says, and I want you to
go for free.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
Again.
Speaker 3 (33:51):
Yeah, that's what I mean by priced out of community?
Or is it? Listen, I have built this brand over
ten years. I need you to pay me my five
thousand I have. But God said, are you pausing long enough?
(34:12):
What is what does God want you to do? Are
we putting brand ahead of souls? Oh? Are we putting
brand ahead of share the good news? So voiceovers great?
But is that voiceover what you're to your point? What
you're supposed to be like? Is that the message that
(34:34):
you're supposed to be sending? And by the way, does
God even want you online anyway?
Speaker 1 (34:37):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (34:39):
Because you won't even talk to your neighbor who's across
the street. And this is from someone who's not neighboring.
Same again, I will talk about everybody else because I'm
gonna talk about myself too, like you're gonna get a
wave from me. But trust and believe me. Being online,
(35:04):
I am living out scripture in my community in my house.
I had to do that first. And my pastor, who
happens to also be my father.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I love It, looked at me at this summer and said, oh,
you can go out and speak and preach, but you're
going to preach in this house too, and had me
preach back to back Sundays.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Wow, Now here's why that's important.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
Yeah, because we.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Live in a time right now that is attacking the
Gospel and the role that certain people play within the
body of Christ. And what won't be happening is no
one will know who you are before people tell you,
and know who you are in Christ before people tell you.
No one can look at me and say you can't
have a microphone. Because my pastor and my husband who
(35:55):
was in the front row taking notes when I was preaching,
have both said, go forth as the Lord sends you. Somebody,
y'all ain't listening.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
Now we're listening. We're listening. I am listening and note taking.
But anyway, face forward, I was like, I'm like, how
do I even bring this back? But I'm going to
because that is my job in this situation. Again, as
I was reading face forward, this goes into the well
(36:31):
of wisdom that you have because there has been and
this is the reason why this should be so encouraging
to the reader. This is the reason why it should
be so encouraging to those that are listening, because you're
not speaking from a face like you said, it'll be
real easy to be a pharisee in this situation. It'll
be real easy. You've had twenty years to sit back
(36:53):
and note, take on all of the wrongs that have
been done, myself righteous, all the things, so many stories,
and yet it's still you bear out some of the
most vulnerable, uncomfortable moments that I think as women that
we could so these are This is one of the
(37:13):
topics that I know that you haven't really used your
platform to talk about, but I do feel like it's necessary.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Okay, so I'm practicing this.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
I want to know what it looks like to forgive
someone that has violated you.
Speaker 3 (37:34):
You said, I forget.
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Let's walk that thing out right now. If we haven't forgetten,
where do we go?
Speaker 3 (37:44):
We gotta price this hilarious.
Speaker 2 (37:50):
Well, if even if you're saying, oh, I haven't forgiven them,
what has been the process of forgiveness when you have
been violated? Because I want to be clear here, there
is not one person that's gonna read this book, that's
gonna listen to this episode and say that I have
not been violated, abused and mistreated in some sort of fashion.
Rather that is from a spouse, a parent, a loved one,
(38:13):
a colleague, someone who used to call a friend. Like
that is something that we have experienced, probably not all
in the same way, probably not all in the same magnitude,
but we've all experienced it.
Speaker 1 (38:25):
So I'm just curious, Like it was.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I mean, and I have I was joking, I have forgiven,
but it was it was a long road now, this
part of not joking about, okay, and it took it
took years. Yeah, so it was not lord And by
the way, I wasn't trying to either. It was not
a priority.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
Hmmm.
Speaker 2 (38:50):
That's very honest that what happens when forgiveness is not
a priory.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
It was that though. Yeah, it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (38:57):
Uh, And I was you feel like that was because
you felt like because I.
Speaker 3 (39:00):
Was angry when I say in the book, I was angry.
I was so mad. Why were these things happening to me?
Why was I having to go through the trenches of life?
In one hand, I had all of this success, I
was experiencing kind of unprecedented things in my family and
for my family, and then in this other hand, despair, agony,
(39:25):
deep hurt, abuse, So no, I was forgiveness was not
on the priority list, and I wasn't thinking about it,
and in part because I wasn't thinking about what God
had done for me, and I was focused on what
I deserved, and so I had to walk that out
(39:52):
with God. And the walking out with God was him
in his patience with me, because at no point in
time did God say, by the way, before I heal you,
before you are redeemed, before X, Y and Z, this
(40:12):
and this is required. You must forgive this person, this person,
this person, this person, this person. That's not what happened.
All he did is say, come to me, Wow, come
rest with me. I've never left you, I'll never forsake you.
(40:32):
I've never dropped you. I'm consistent. And in that closeness
and that intimacy, that also took a long time, because
I was viewing God as I viewed all of those people.
They left me, so he's going to. They forsook me,
so he's going to. But in his consistency, intimacy grew
(40:55):
and then I remembered what he did for me, and
in that opening, I also wanted him to do the
same thing for some of the people who had done
me wrong. You know, as I said for some of
the people, because I didn't clop everybody immediately. I'm just
being real.
Speaker 1 (41:16):
It's true, it's true.
Speaker 3 (41:18):
But been in all seriousness. Then I started growing in
that forgiveness and I really wish peace and redemption for
every single person who has done me wrong, because I
have done people wrong, because I have done people wrong
(41:40):
knowingly and unknowingly. I have knowingly done people wrong, and
in Jesus name, forgive me. And he has given me
an opportunity to ask them for forgiveness and say I
was wrong? Will you forgive me? And sometimes people have not.
(42:00):
Sometimes they'd be like, listen, it's a choice. I accept
what you said. But nah, this is this is the
business world. Ain't no forgiven here. I'll see you outside.
But for me, again, characters the bar, not my ego.
I'm trying to do right. So it was it was
(42:22):
a journey, but was a journey because I was hurt
and I'd been dropped, and I had been dropped because
of my expectations. I had been dropped because I had
placed my hope and other people and in things and
then had them snatched away. So yeah, that's what that
looked like. But today I am free, and I'm quick
(42:45):
to forgive and quick to apologize. And while I hurt
somebody's feelings, probably not on purpose though, And I would
hope that you know, just as quick as the Lord
is to forgive me when I am wrong, that you
know I would be just that way with other people
(43:07):
because people are going to be people in and I
am people.
Speaker 1 (43:11):
I am people too. I am people.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
To everybody, raise their hand and say, I am people.
Speaker 1 (43:20):
Lord forgive us all.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
Lord forget because I am people.
Speaker 1 (43:24):
Mm hmm.
Speaker 3 (43:26):
That's what that that I mean. That is a very
real That was just a very real journey for me,
and it did it. It take It took a couple
of years, but God broke off that stevement that was
around my heart because I was trying to protect myself
and protect my babies. And somebody may be like, what
do you mean by that? To protect my I had
(43:47):
to protect my heart so that I could protect my
babies because I could not be I did not want
to be a weeping mother and I had a lot
to weep about, and so I hardened myself. Mh I
went real hard. Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (44:11):
Well, I'm glad that I get to experience the softer side.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Oh yeah, now we nice and saw. I love that
out staying somebody if they need to be stunned.
Speaker 2 (44:23):
Well, on that note, tell people where they can order
face Forward, Tell people what you're hoping and desiring that
they get out of Face Forward, and all of your handles,
because you are popping right now on social media.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
You just love you just love that.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
You love it, and as it continues to grow, I'm
gonna love it even more because it was Yeah.
Speaker 3 (44:47):
You're like not book trailers, not we're doing movies, We're
doing all things. All the things. You can find me.
Bethany ris So the et h N Y no A,
r c K S Jesus, Led, Bible Fed is picking
up again. Led and Fed newsletter is going to pick
(45:08):
up in about a week. You can join that newsletter
on my website, Bethanywrix dot com. You can buy face
Forward everywhere Barnes and Noble, Target, Amazon, all the things,
and it'll be in your bookstores across the country October
the first. And we're excited and yeah, I'm doing podcasts
(45:33):
and talking about it and oh thanks.
Speaker 1 (45:34):
So via all the things. Well, I just want to
say thank you, thank.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
You for being you Thank you for sharing some of
the most vulnerable testimonials I've ever heard, but thank you
for doing it so graciously.
Speaker 1 (45:46):
Thank you for walking this thing out in humility.
Speaker 2 (45:49):
I really do look to you as like a mentor,
like I look to you to see how does one
walk in humility and grace and kindness, But also there's
so much strength and you have just modeled that so well.
So just thank you for modeling that well.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
But guys, of.
Speaker 2 (46:11):
Course, guys, go order a face for it right now.
Like she said, we're all books are sold. Go go
go go, go go go go. Follow her on social
media Jesus lab Bible fed as well. Thank you for
tuning in to this episode of the KWATS podcast. Definitely
make sure that you like, share, and subscribe and comment.
Until next time, be blessed.
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.