August 18, 2025 • 62 mins
Tune into the next live episode of Kim Jacobs Show
Join us Monday, August 18th | 11 AM – 12 PM EST as we welcome Chantrice Marshall, author of Do You See Me?
Her book is a powerful guide to navigating life’s hardships — sharing how she overcame trials through both the good and the bad.
Be an active part of the conversation in the comments!
Want to launch your own show? Email Kimjacobsshow@gmail.com or call 704-944-3534 to grab your seat in the next training. We take the first 5 students to confirm.
Support The Kim Jacobs Show and let us know in the comment section during our live broadcast and we will acknowledge your support!
PayPal: paypal.me/Kimjacobsinc�Venmo: @Thekimjacobsshow
Zelle or Apple Cash: 704-962-7161
Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/c/Kimjacobsshow and turn on notifications so you don’t miss a moment!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-kim-jacobs-show--2878190/support.
Join us Monday, August 18th | 11 AM – 12 PM EST as we welcome Chantrice Marshall, author of Do You See Me?
Her book is a powerful guide to navigating life’s hardships — sharing how she overcame trials through both the good and the bad.
Be an active part of the conversation in the comments!
Want to launch your own show? Email Kimjacobsshow@gmail.com or call 704-944-3534 to grab your seat in the next training. We take the first 5 students to confirm.
Support The Kim Jacobs Show and let us know in the comment section during our live broadcast and we will acknowledge your support!
PayPal: paypal.me/Kimjacobsinc�Venmo: @Thekimjacobsshow
Zelle or Apple Cash: 704-962-7161
Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/c/Kimjacobsshow and turn on notifications so you don’t miss a moment!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-kim-jacobs-show--2878190/support.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Listen, we have a great show lined up for you.
I'm your host, Kim Jacob's better known as the Balance Doctor.
And all of our guests that come on there either
people that have overcome some tremendous odds in their own
lives as they balance this thing called life, or they're
experts and they're here to share tips and strategies that
will help you better balance and manage your life. Grab
(00:22):
your virtual seats and let's get ready for some real,
relevant and relatable content on today's episode of a Kim
Jacobs Show. Jacob Well, hello everyone, and welcome to this
(00:42):
episode of The Kim Jacob Show, where we are bringing
balance to the world, one household at a time. And
guess what today we're doing that with Shantrees Marshall. How
are you today, Shantrees?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Kim?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Oh, I'm doing great, doing great, And I'm actually I've
read your book and I'm it's just such a vulnerable,
transparent exposing moments that you have released in this book.
And so everybody, I want you to quickly make sure
you share this broadcast, Share with your friends, your coworkers,
(01:15):
let people know before we even get started. I want
you to let people know that they don't want to
miss this episode of The Kim Jacob Show. We're talking
today with Shantrise Marshall, and she's gonna be talking to
us about do you see me? Do you see me?
Everybody had that whole cliche, you know you do you
see me? Can you say I see you? All of that, right,
(01:39):
but really do you see me? And today we're gonna
get the answer to that and who really needs to
see you? And you're gonna learn that from Shantrise Marshall.
So as we get started today, let me just make
sure I'm gonna do one thing on this phone because
I really wanted some of your co graduates to be
(01:59):
a part of seeing this today because Sharon Chantries actually
and sometimes you can't do this stuff until the show
is live, which is whole catch twenty two. But here's
the thing. Chantries graduated from a program on how to
start your show from scratch, So she graduated from a
program that I did a six week training on. So
I'm really I'm just really excited about what God is
(02:23):
doing already through your journey. So welcome Chantries.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Thank you for having me, Kim.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Thank you for being here. Today and I want to
just I want to read because I really I was
looking at your bio and I like, right here on
the back of this book, do you see me? Chantries
Marshall is a passionate and resilient mother, a dedicated nurse,
an accomplished book author, life coach, and an aspiring actress.
(02:50):
You don't have to be no aspiring girl. All you
gotta do is reach out to Tyler Perrit. He's one
of the rolls.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Right. I went to his studio was a blank trip,
but I went, Okay, we talk about that and guess
what she is?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
A life coach she is also her authenticity is something
that really just permeates through her pores, her compassion. When
you're around her and get a chance to be in
the same room with Shantries, you feel a certain thing.
People call it a vibe, but I feel like the
compassion and the authenticity as well as her unwavering determination.
(03:25):
She lives life to the fullest and helps people transform
their lives through life lessons into blessings. I am super
excited to welcome Chantries to the Kim Jacob Show today, everyone,
and I love how your camera's moving in and out.
It is doing the most, so like kind of like you,
you be doing the most over there, so it goes
(03:49):
with your personality. Listen shantries. When I was thinking about this,
instead of just jumping right into the topic, I really
wanted to know more about you as a person because
I know I've had you on the show before. You're
the author of multiple books, but we're going to be
highlighting this particular one today. But just take us back
a little bit on your journey and what kind of
(04:11):
brought you to the point where you are today.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So as you know, you quote it the thing says,
you know, it sounds good. The mother, the nurse, the
book author, the life coach. But who I am as
a person, I would say, I'm resilient, determined. I'm a
mother of two girls. One it's eighteen, one is nine.
I'm a woman with God. I developed my relationship higher
(04:36):
with God through trials and tribulations of just going through
what you know no other women, other women have went
through as well. I don't know. I like to travel,
I like to read, I like to write.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Because you're not like that very well.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
That's pretty much. It just determine very.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
He absolutely, and when I was when I was reading
your book. I've read both of your books, but this
one in particular, do you see me? I felt like
I was being so drawn into it, almost like it
was a novel, but it's really based on real like
no I know, and.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I had so much reservation about putting that much out.
So it's just like, hey, we're here now, so.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, I understand, So listen. What I'm going to do
is I want to yeah, because I when I think
about putting this out the reservation associated with it, and
I can personally relate because I've also gone through a divorce.
So anybody that you know this experienced a divorce. This
woman today is going to really drop some knowledge and
(05:50):
some nuggets on each and every one of you. But
one of the things that I saw with your book
is how considerate you were. Yes, that's very important that you.
People are gonna see you automatically. Y'all gonna get to
see my handsome hunk of a young son walking by
because he's like coming from the gym, and like, people
(06:11):
are gonna see you because I'm not gonna close my camera,
so y'all can get a partial view of beauty sculpting.
Beauty is what's happening there is sculpted beauty. But anyway,
that's a good thing to be fit right, fit and trim.
This is as we're balancing our lives. It's pretty interesting
because when we're balancing our lives, it goes really with
(06:32):
the fact that we're balancing our lives in real time.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yes, real time, it's real time.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And so what inspired you to write the book Do
you see Me?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
I just feel like so many people can relate. I
wanted to have a moment that was real, that was raw,
and it just was like, it is what it is.
And although I battled with how much to share, I
knew that I still had to put it out and
I said in that moment and wrote in that real time.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
This right here is when I say real time, y'all,
this is real time, real talk in this book.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So it was so much more that I didn't put
in the book.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
So, yeah, anybody that anybody that is dealing with the
difficulty associated with going through a divorce, you want to
grab a copy of this book Do you see Me?
Because it puts it into perspective that you can make it.
You're gonna be okay, just go through the process and
(07:32):
trust the process that God has as you're navigating this
new season of your life. So do you see me?
Is something that you want to have a copy of
in your library, but not just to put it on
a bookshelf. I have a lot of books that I've
put on a bookshelf sentries, but I haven't read them all.
So I'm like, I'm not about to buy another book
(07:52):
til I read once I have. In this case, when
I got yours, i read through it and I immediately
felt like, wow, this is almost like a twin of mine.
Ere she's speaking directly to me. Was that your intention?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah? And that's the point about being real in the
moment is just like so many people can relate. I
think when we go back and try to feel her things,
it becomes unrelatable. And I think that it's not for
only anyone that's going through a divorce, but for someone
that's just went through a dark season. They just don't
know what's on the other side.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
That's good and I love how you kind of you
go through even the different phases of grief, because it
can be people that have had loss from losing a
loved one, losing a job, losing a lot of different things,
because losses is lost. It is when it's happening. You
broke that down. I was when I was highlighted some
of the pages. But you said shock and denial was
(08:47):
these are the stages of grief, pain and guilt, anger
and bargaining, depression and loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction and
working together, and then acceptance and hope. When you were
writing this book, what phase do you feel you were
in when you were in the mode of writing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Oh, shock and denial, and it one to acceptance. Most
of the book was written why I was in it.
Then the end part was rutten when I was out
of it, so I had to go back and like,
I don't feel that same feeling anymore. So it's like,
but I still want to keep the rowness. But then
(09:29):
I want to write also from a point of me
being on the other side, to give other people hope.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
That's good because I've written I'm actually in the process
of writing several books that I've been writing for years.
Every every time I picked the book up and start writing,
I get like fifty something pages done, and then because
of where I am in that moment, I'm like, you
know what, I'm gonna stop and then the next year,
on the anniversary date or something, I'll start back again.
(09:57):
But the book has to eventually get out, even though
you might be walking through some of the pain and
trauma you've personally experienced. What do you encourage authors or
aspiring authors to do, because you're gonna be helping me
even in this case, because I've been a part of
four different five books at this point that are out
international bestsellers and all of that stuff on Amazon, but
(10:19):
there are some more books in me. So what advice
would you give me and other people watching today to
get the books out?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Just do it. I just do it, because I get
so many people that come up to me to just
be like, how did you do it? How long did
it take? Just do it? My first book. I have
been trying to write that for years and years. It
came from thoughts of just like generational curses this, and
just observing other people. Then I'm observing myself and it's
(10:47):
just like when I just did it, It's like, okay,
let's go from book number two. And I was like, okay,
let's go from book number three. So some you know,
people come up to me like how and when did
you start Just do it? Just do it.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Well, that's a big philosophy of philosophy of mine as well,
and that's hence five different books that I've been a
part of. One when I was on NBC, I did
a compilation of all of the tips that I would
share to different families when I would do balance makeovers.
But it was just just do it, Kim, just get
it out there and do it. So that's the perfect device.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
And then I have people come up to me and say, well,
you know, if I was to put my life story
in a book, it would be unbelievable, but that people
won't believe what I went through, And it's like, right it.
So people can see through that and people can relate
because so many people are going through the same thing.
So it's just like, don't be afraid to be vulnerable,
because that's what I battle with in the Beginning's like,
(11:42):
I don't know if I want to put this out
here right once, So do what you feel free?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
You know you do you do? You finally like yes,
it's very liberating. I can't imagine when you finally got
this book, do you see me out out into the atmosphere.
It had to be almost it's like a weight lifted
off of you.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Or was it or it was it was it was
a weightlifted. But then I'm gonna be honest. I have
moments where I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have.
Maybe I shouldn't have, but it was just just like no,
that was the enemy trying to whisper things to me.
But no. It was very relieving because I went through
so much trying to get it out. Like the first
book was a quicker process, with this, it kind of
(12:23):
took me longer because I was going through this in
real time and in real moments, and I had to
stop for a couple months and I had to pick
the pan back up. Then I had to feel those
emotions again when I talked about it. Then it was
just like no. Then I went on the fast and
it was like no, keep going.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah. I read of her that you wrote that down
on page twenty five. When you went through your twenty
one day fast, that's when you experienced the most attacks.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Why do you think, oh, my goodness, I'm fasting right now.
So it's a love hate relationship with fast thing. It
really is. Because anything that you think that you're over,
anything that you are running from anything that you need
(13:11):
something to be revealed, good or bad. It's going to
come from fast. Like I never knew how powerful fasting was.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Right, Yeah, fast thing can definitely bring some results, some
things that I know. And when I've turned my plate
down and I've been intentional with God about God, I
need this thing to happen. And then He's like, finally
I got your attention. Yes, because now that isn't your God.
You don't have to have that thing that you keep
(13:40):
feeling like you have to have to nourish your soul.
I can nourish your soul.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
That was good. So during that time I wanted to
ask people everybody as well. The question that I have
for you all in the studio audience is have you
ever felt unseen? And I want you to type in
the comments section a time that you felt unseen and
you were actually trying to be seen but for whatever reason,
it's like, can anybody not see me around here? What
am I dog meet? I'm trying my best to be seen,
(14:08):
but I'm not being seen. So we've all experienced that.
Why do you think so many people feel unseen?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Gingris, I think because they're not sharing. They're not sharing.
A lot of people keep a lot of stuff in.
You know, you can pretty much walk in a room
until who's healed and unhealed and who's deflecting on somebody
else's life to take away from the things that they're
(14:34):
going through. You know, you can sit around people and
it's like, oh, this this, this person, this person, And
then it's like if I look deep within you, I
could see all the brokenness, Like I don't have room
to talk about nobody else's life, so you really can.
It's like, once you feel unseen, you'll do anything to
be seen, and sometimes that's negative.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
That's right, that's so I'm oh, God, girl, you're gonna
have me over. You're slain in the spirit right there,
because you can, like you said, if you're not able
to take your mask off and be true to who
God has you to be in a situation and share
some level of transparency that I definitely don't have all
(15:16):
of the answers to everything, and I don't even need
to act like I do. I don't. That's why you
have to bring other experts in and surround yourself with
people that do have those particular answers, you know, right,
So then that way it doesn't matter about whether you're
seen or not. What needs to be accomplished is being accomplished.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
The goal is being hofessed, right right.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
So your goal with this particular book that you've written,
which is do you see me? What is your objective?
And what do you hope people walk away with?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Walking away knowing that you can pretty much overcome anything
if you're intentional about doing the work, like it's really
all about doing the work.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Hm. Okay. And then y'all, some of the work is
heavily laid out in this book, so she can't go
through every detail because then that's going to defeat the
purpose of getting the book. But what I will tell
you how do people get your book? I know they
can get it on Amazon because I can see that,
But how do they get an autograph copy of the
book from you?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You can purchase at ww dot Queenshantrees dot com and
when you purchase, O'll sign a book in Melodoso.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
You at Queen Shantries. Okay, so I said, okay, And
on Instagram you are Queen Shantries.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yes, Queen Underscore shant Underscore.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
That's I knew it was something in the underscore chan okay,
and then you can purchase the book at Queen Shantrees
dot com. Right, yep, okay, y'all. I want to make
sure that we put this up here. How you can
actually purchase the book, especially if you want an autograph copy,
go to Queen Shantries and that's h A N t R.
(16:56):
I c E for our audio podcast listeners dot com
Queenshantrees dot com and you can follow her on Instagram
at Queen Underscore shan Trees. But you definitely want to
get a copy and autographed copy. It'll come in a
nice gold foiled bag. I was like, I still got
my rapping. I was like, it's my favorite color. Gold
(17:17):
is my favorite color?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Gold?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Is? Why?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Why go?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
It's just it? It makes me feel happy inside, Like
I love the color gold, anything gold. It's like I'm
buying it. I love gold.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I didn't even know that about you, and you went
through a whole six week training of mine. So that's
so important to be able to see people the way
they need to be seen. Ye, because how did I
and this is just me talking here, how did I
not know that? And you went through a whole six
week training with me. That's going to make me do
some things differently with my new students. Okay, yeah, because
(17:50):
gold is your favorite color and I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
That was a while ago though, I think was that
one of the questions you asked. I'm not sure you know.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
That's the point. I didn't ask it, That's what I'm saying. Okay,
So as a result of this conversation.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Color, like what would I background or something be, I
did ask thank you and.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Let your trainer off the book. Right, You're like, I'm
not gonna throw you under the bus. Can. I'll give
you a chance to just redeem yourself. So in this
book it gets really deep and I took some specific notes,
but you really you really go through the fact of
never in a million years, moments that you really highlight
(18:35):
in this book, and some of the hardships you've personally experienced.
To whatever level you feel comfortable, take us on somewhat
of a journey through what what you personally went through
that brought you to the point of having to write
this book.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Okay, let's go back. I would say, you know, divorce
when you get married is for better or for worse.
When you have that never in a million years what
I experienced, this, this and this, and it's like, okay, God,
it's too much for me. So I surrendered, Like, whatever
you want to happen, you can happen. It can happen,
you can have it. Like whatever you need from me,
(19:14):
I'll do it. So I think that we all have
our life planned out. So when you lose control over that,
it's like, Okay, I ain't as strong as I thought.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yeah. I love how you interview also as a guest,
because you make a point and then we kind of
keep it going. And every time you make a point,
it's a point that is like the sticking right to
me because I feel like this is probably one of
the better conversations I can have because I'm having it
with somebody that I feel the same way. I thought,
(19:50):
what this is gonna be. This is gonna be my plan,
This is what I thought was going to be the
outcome based on how life is supposed to be. But
things happen in ways that are unforeseen to us, and
how do we handle it? Then? So in your case,
we have children, We have children, and I know that
(20:11):
sometimes when you're experiencing divorce, it doesn't just impact us,
It impacts our children. It does talk about that you're
and your daughters.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
It was a change for them. I noticed a change
with them going through that. It definitely affected everyone. But
I was intentional as well about doing the work with them.
You know, I had to give them grace, grace as well.
You know, you sometimes realize like, oh, you're a kid,
you supposed to but they're supposed to feel as well
(20:44):
and see as well. So it's like, okay, we're out
of this. Now is a new environment. Now let me
do some things different. So I would say like spending
more time with them, spending one on one time with them.
I created a tradition where I do three vacations a
year where I do one with my oldest daughter, one
with my youngest daughter, and then we do one where
all three of us together.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
That's good, just so you do that again. You do
one with all three of you together, one vacation with
your youngest daughter and one vacation with your oldest daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yes, so last year it was can Cone with my
oldest daughter. With my youngest daughter, it was Disney World,
and then all three of us did Myrtle Beach. And
then this year, me and my youngest daughter did LA,
but me and my oldest daughter haven't done one yet
because she's in school.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
So and then now that this is gonna I'm sure
cause a little bit of a sticky point because I
know that the children may feel like, oh, I know
she's not going to can Con and I'm not. How
do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
It's pretty much a preference, a preference up there.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, yeah, so whatever place they decide it's going to
be their ultimate vacation. That's where yeah make it.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Like my youngest daughter, we watched a lot of TV together,
like we'll watch and to watch All Americans. Like I've
never been to LA. I want to see this, I
want to see Slouston. And I'm just like, okay, we'll
do LA this year. And that's see you should.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Have told me now see, I love I love All
American too. Ain't doing any more seasons. I know we
sidetrack it.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I know that I haven't watched this season seven yet,
So come on you girl. Yeah, it just came out
on Netflix a while ago, but I've just been so
busy I haven't got a chance to binge watch that one.
But I love All Americans.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
She does, so it's like, yeah, that's funny because that's
the only time I get to watch something. Like I
was telling somebody my TV hasn't been on for like
a couple of months, because I only have to be
very intentional when I sit down. If I'm gonna sit
down and watch something, I'll carve out the time and
that set an appointment and binge watch it type of
thing versus because most of my news and stuff will
(22:49):
pop on my phone as a news break or feed
or something that I'll keep up to date with what's
going on in the world that way. But I'm very
intentional when I'm sitting down and.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Like enjoying the show and yeah, yes, so.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
See we can hang out Shantries. But listen for you
all that's tuning in right now. We're talking with Shantrise Marshall,
and I love how she has written this book, which
is do you see Me? A lot of times we
feel unseen in life, and she's taken the time to
break down some of the hardships she's experienced in life
and how they impacted her. How do you feel like
(23:23):
that particular season in your life help you build more
resilience and faith and even self worth, because when you're
going through divorced sometimes you're self worth is hindered.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
After all the bad things, I turned around and get
the work to make it good things. Okay, Like, even
though I was sitting in that broken marriage and awful moment,
I wrote my first book, I became a life coach.
I was attending women's event, so it's like I was
in therapy right when I got out. I continue to
(24:01):
do those things, so that's good. I didn't feel the
need to turn to things that are world you know.
I'm so glad that God caught me in that moment
so I wouldn't be bitter, so I wouldn't party and
sleep with men and be around a bad influence of women,
you know. So I was very intentional about doing the
(24:23):
work in the moment, no matter how I felt.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I love that. I love that, and I commend you
for that because there are so many different choices of
things that we can cling on to in the middle
of our transitions, but being careful to make a conscious decision.
This ain't how I'm rolling, all right, whatever whatever life
has to bring, I'm not rolling like this, you know. Yeah,
that's good. I really admire that. In you and I've
(24:50):
been I've taken the same type of stance going through
a divorce as well, and I'm like, but sometimes I
think it please I don't know if it applies to
you or not, but sometimes I think I'm being too
premature with some things. I'm like, and I'm not doing this,
and I'm not neverbly like, did I even ask you
for this?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
It makes you kind of guarded because once you you
know that person, you're like, Okay, I'm building this person up.
I'm not letting anyone dictate break nothing. So you can't
even get that close to me.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Wow, Yeah, but you you know, And it's interesting because
we don't want to have such a high wall that
nobody feels like they can even penetrate the wall and
get through to say, hey, I am out here. I'm
trying to take a connection with you. But you're too
You're not fully healed, so therefore you cannot you can't
(25:41):
even accept what's being offered here. Right, people have happened. Yeah,
But okay, So as you're as you're dealing with going
through your divorce, one of the things that I like
that you did is honor the fact that there are
three parts to every story.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yeah they are. Yeah, just because I have my part,
he may have his part. Then it may be a
person in the middle that say, hey, I understand both
person's point of view, but in realistically, this is what
it is. So I think you got to be open
to that. Some people are not open to other people's opinions, feedbacks,
moral values. They don't want to be accountable, they don't
(26:22):
want to be corrected. Like I'm open to learning. I
love to learn, I love to debate, I love to
hear things from other people's point of view. Some people
are not like that.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, I've had some people when I've talked to them,
We've had some hard conversations, and I tell the people
I actually welcome that. So it's fine because that makes
me a better person. I'll take notes on what they're
saying because I want to be better. He doesn't want
to be a better version of themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Right, it's like how you grow, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Right, Because I'm never going to evolve, I shouldn't say
that women evolve. I do think that we should be
all ways, ever learning and ever growing and ever developing,
And so I think that life teaches us through our
own hardships. How to further evolve is probably the best
thing that I could think to say. You know, so, now,
(27:15):
looking back from your perspective, how did that chapter in
your life actually help shape who you are in your
opinion today? Especially from an author's perspective.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It kind of made me resilient, Yeah, resilient, very resilient.
It kind of made me more understanding to people because
I feel like everyone is going through something.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yes, yeah, everyone is going through something, and so people
that are going through different types of hardship. Again we're
talking about divorce, but it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Like everything is for a reason. Everything that people do
is for a reason. Kind of makes you be a
little bit more understanding to where I could see what
you did, but then I know it's something behind.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
What you did, right, So that gives you a little
bit more grace, right.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
It does? It does. My grace can sometimes be just
leaving you right where you are and not dealing with you.
Sometimes my grace can be praying for you. Sometimes my
grace can be just giving you a little bit of advice.
But regardless of what the grace is, it's something deeper.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, but you recognize that even before you start dealing
with the other person or the people, right, and because
of that, then you're like grace to give grace. It's like,
this definitely is the enemy using you.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, Like it's a you thing. That's what I say, Like,
that's a you thing. Regardless of what you say and
how you feel about me. That's a you thing that
has nothing to do with me. You're trying to push
that off on me. It has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Do you say it like that too with your facial
expression very.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
People, it will weigh you down, you know, it will
weigh you down. So it's just like, I can't. Once
you've gone through something like that and you literally had
to work for your peace and work for your healing,
nobody can come in between that. Nobody.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I'm glad. I'm glad you're saying this. Listen, everybody, we're
talking to Shantrise Marshall. We're talking she's the author of
Do You See Me. Many times we feel unseen, unheard,
not considered. Our feelings aren't even factored into the equation.
And it's a serious thing that can cause quite a
bit of discontentment, and it can make you feel broken,
(29:46):
broken into a lot of different pieces. I had today
this morning, Gentries. I was full of peace, joy, happiness.
Spent yesterday after I got out of church laying beside
my mom and just didn't do much of anything for
like hours on hand because I was like, we need
to just destress sometimes and just be here. How my
mom needs me to be here, even though her room
was very hot, and I was like, I know, like
(30:08):
a mommy, like I've been just sucking on a desert
or something. I was so dehydrated, but it made her
so happy, right, she felt seen and it was some
things she was going through that she needed to be seen.
But how we see each other and how we need
to be seen, it's different. So how do we see
people the way they need to be seen?
Speaker 2 (30:29):
I always say that people see you through their own LANs,
like regardless of how you grow, Like I may be
the same old person who other old people because they
see me through that lens. But people that just meeting me,
they see me do it through a different LANs. Like
the older people they haven't acknowledged the growth of healing
(30:51):
the different person. And sometimes you just have to step
away so people can see you from a different LANs,
Like I can't continue to sit in front of you
knowing that the lands that you see me through is
the old version of me.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
So how do you do that without throwing the people away?
Because at the end of the day, it's like, you know,
the word talks about shaking the dust off your feet
and just going about your business if you're not received.
So how do you from your perspective as being an
author of do you see me? And even breaking generational curses?
The book that you wrote as well about that, how
do you recommend people do that without fully ending all
(31:29):
relationships because.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Like, no, you back in the day bye, the honest,
truep is something you probably are going to have to
do that. It's just accepting that you're a different person.
And if you're different, everything and everyone can't go so
sometimes distance and sometimes the distance may not be permanent,
and sometimes with sometin people it may be permanent. But
(31:52):
it's not a good feeling when people view you through
those lands of the person that you used to be.
It's kind of draining. You know how people can go
into Rovin and it's like, oh, they're bringing up the
past and this and that. It's like I don't want
to hear that. I'm not that person, no more so
I cannot relate to what you're saying. So it's like
the only way for me to protect my piece and
(32:12):
protect the new version that I work so hard to
be is by distance.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That's that's good. Yeah, that's so good. I know. Sometimes
I'll even bring up my own past, right because our
past when we're talking about marriage and different things, it's
our story too. It's a part of It's like I
try to share a story without involving sometimes the other person,
and it's like what but sometimes.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Huh, sometimes people.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Will dwell on that, right, Yeah, And so dwelling on
it is definitely not a good thing in my opinion.
But sometimes the point I was getting ready to make
is sometimes I'll say something and I'll realize this person
don't even know what I'm talking about at all, because
they see me from the new lens of life versus
knowing my backstory or whatever the case may be. So
(33:00):
then it's like, now I'm pulling everybody into stuff that
I didn't even need to pull them into, right, Has
that ever happened to you?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah? Yeah? But also distance, I'm just big.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
On my piece, Like I can tell you, like, no,
not that often because I'm like, you see me from
those glasses. I need you to see me from these
new glasses.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Right, yeah, I'm really big. Anything that does not feel
good or I just can't.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Well, how does that? How has that served you as
far as how does that help you accomplish your goals,
your daughter's goals? How does that work for you? Because
that's going to definitely sever a lot of people that
were possibly in your past.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
I think that when you go through that isolation season,
it's easier. It's easier when you go through moments what
it just has to be you and God, when it
has to just be you and your thoughts and anything.
So it's just like it may affect it, it may
offend people, but if you're putting yourself first, you just
(34:07):
have to do what you have to do. That's good, Okay,
your piece comes first, your piece, and in due time
everything will work itself out, like the people that are
meant to be will be, and the people that you
have to love from a distance, you just have to
love them from a distance.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
But so you don't get many crinkles in your forehead
because you look like you really relaxed over there. You're like, no,
you just love them from a distance.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
You know, I'm gonna be honest. It's easier said than done.
It is. It's very I'm not gonna sit up here
and say that it's just like, oh, okay, No, it's
very hurtful. It's very hurtful, it's very lonely. I just
think it's something that we all have to go through
to grow. That's if you want to grow, you know,
(34:51):
certain areas are just not going to serve you anymore.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
That's good, that's good. I see some studio audience comments.
Evangelist Clara Walton is on and she said, Amen, Yes,
many times I have felt unseen, but God knew it's
to see me at all times, and I was able
to move forward with his plans for my life. So
how do you want to speak to that? That'd be
(35:15):
a good because I know I saw some stuff in
your book pertaining to God's plans versus your plans.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yeah. Uh, surrendering sometimes God's plans as hard as lonely,
as tears as and you know you don't understand why
you're going through it, right. I think that when you
lose control of your life and you surrender and you
know that God has full control over your life. Why
wouldn't you want to get close to the person and
(35:43):
has control over your life.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
I agree, I don't have control over my life. God
has control of it, so why not we have to
be best friends?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
That's right? Like, Okay, well, I love I love the
fact that you're saying that, because once we know that
we don't belong to ourselves, then it makes it easier
for us to be able to surrender, to say, Okay, God,
not my will, but your will be done. Let your
will be done.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yep. So that's hard, Like if you I want control
over my life like I really do, but I don't,
so you know.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
And that's why it goes back to Jeremiah twenty nine eleven,
where he says, I know the plans that I have
for you, and their good plans and their plans for
us to prosper and not. They're not plans that are
evil for us. They're going to work out in our
best interests in some capacity, in some way. But we
have to do what you said on page fifty Yeah,
page fifty three. All things work together for good to
(36:45):
those who seek the Lord. And that was in Romans
eight twenty eight. So understanding that scripture is easier said
than done, especially when we are going or have gone
through a divorce. So how did you apply that scripture
when you were going through that hardship.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I don't think I did.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
I want to be honest. I was angry. I was
a lot of angry in that moment. If we didn't, honest,
I didn't it sounded good. People were telling me that,
but I just couldn't see that this is gonna work
out for my good I couldn't. It was awful. It
was very awful sitting in that.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
And everybody has advice when you're going through I've never
received so much advice. I was like, I don't even
want all of this advice. Okay, I'm trying to make it.
I'm trying to breathe, I'm trying to figure this thing out.
And here it's like just constant, don't I don't think
you should do this. I don't think you should do this.
I say you do this. It's like, okay, you know what, God,
(37:47):
intervene and help us us out. I need you to
help me in this moment. Is that how you were
feeling too?
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah? I just feel like if you wasn't married, you
couldn't give me any advice, Like, I'm not that person
that you could just I'm up, someone talks to me
about my personal business because it's like I didn't tell
you that? Who told you that? And it just was
like nobody, nobody approached me really going through that. It
was whispers. But it's like in that moment, comes talking
to me about my business.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Though, oh well, I'm I'm talking. If you have some
family that you feel comfortable talking with, then I have.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah. I wasn't talking about it because I didn't even
know what that was, what I was going through. So
just if you wasn't married, I didn't need your advice.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
You find it if.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
You wasn't married, like I only talked directly to married women. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Interesting, Okay, well y'all heard it right here on the
Kim Jacob Show. If you weren't married, then shan Teresa's
like save it. Basically, that's what she was saying because
she didn't need the advice. She needed to figure out
what was going on in her life. And so and
you figured it out well by getting it released in
your book. Do you see me? Let's see Charmain Thompson said,
the reason why people feel unseen is low social psycho
(39:00):
logical low self esteem or social anxiety. Do you I.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Agree with that, and that's that's good. That's good. I
like what you said with social anxiety.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I think I have social anxiety social anxiety. That's interesting.
I hadn't thought about it from that perspective, and I
actually it's because I'm also a pastor. Now it's an
interesting dynamic because I'm always around people in some regard
in a social capacity, and sometimes it's like having to
(39:31):
unplug and say, you know what, this is going to
be my carved out private time. This is also important. Yeah,
so Charmain, great point, great point. Thank you all. Thank
you Evangelis Walson for your comments, and y'all keep your
comments coming because this gives us some more things that
we can talk about during this hour with Shantrise Marshall,
(39:53):
who is the author of Do You See Me? And
It's a game change. It's a game changer because she's
not just venting in this book, but she's also giving
you some solutions on how to trust the process and
go through the process and get the healing that you need.
Now are you? Are you? A therapist, because you speak
(40:14):
in a therapist's language throughout your book too.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Me, Oh my goodness, I wish that I was no
just certain life.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Coach, certified life coach. Well, you are dropping some significant
wisdom in this book, and it's something that different therapists
like on psychology today in different places. They should put
this in their office to be able to hear what
your thoughts on it from a real life experience situation,
because a lot of times people are giving book advice,
(40:45):
but until you've gone through it and you got to
the other side of it, can really help somebody in
that regard, you know, right, right. And one of the
things I do want us to harp on a little
bit more is that our children. In our case, we
both have children, they grieve as well. The whole marriage
(41:05):
is a loss for them.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
They do, they do, So.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
What grace do we need to show children that are
dealing with divorced situations any advice?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Probably be more patient with your tone, more patient with
the punishment. But it can't last too long. But you
do need to give grace. It can't last too long.
But yeah, I didn't know how bad it affected my
kids until I was out of it.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah, that's that's good to know because I same here.
I didn't know until I was out of it, mainly
because you're going through it and you're dealing with it,
and you're like, I got to keep my own sanity
talking about health. Health. So you can't pour, as many
people already know, you can't pour from an empty cup.
You have to pour from an overflow situation. And when
your cup is empty, it's like you're in the picture frame.
(41:56):
You can't see how other people are even being impacted scenarios.
So I love the fact that you address that in
your book. So again, if you all don't have a
copy of this book do you see Me by Shantrees Marshall,
you want to get a copy of it. And there's
also on her page you can learn more about her
as an author, as a speaker, as a mother, and
(42:17):
what she has to offer through her website. And her
website that I've expressed already is shan Queenshantrees dot com
Queenshantries dot com. So when people are going through becoming
an author, even there are some people that just desire
(42:37):
to become an author, but they've had some life experiences
that are discouraging them. What advice I know you said,
just do it. Any thought or tips on what you
can share with people that would help them really get
to the other side of that mountain.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
So example, I had someone say that they would love
to write their life story, but they don't want to
use names, they don't want to bring up old trauma,
they don't want to involve other people, they don't want
to hurt other people by their story. So my advice
would be to still write it, but maybe use different characters,
because you have to set yourself free, like you can't
(43:17):
continue to sit on that pain, and if it's coming
to you with revelation on to write a book about it,
and then that's for a reason. So whichever way that
you have to go with writing that book, maybe use
a different names, different characters. But I would say release
it in due time.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
I love that too, because a lot of people are
I know. I can only speak for myself that I've
been so concerned about how I say what I say. Yeah,
make sure I don't be I want to always be
mindful of everyone, even if it's somebody that I don't like,
you know what I mean, Not that I don't like
because I actually love all everybody, but that don't like me,
(43:56):
is what I mean. Just take I don't like everybody,
don't get me wrong, but I do love all of
God's people. And that's even people that I may not like.
God still loves them. So who am I to determine
that they shouldn't be loved, you understand, right, because of
an incident. So I'm always trying to be very mindful
of how my story intertwined with somebody else's story and
(44:22):
impact it can have on them, right, right, Is that
what you recommend people do in these.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Situations, Yeah, because you don't want the books to bring
more harm than purpose, right, you know. So that's what
I wanted to That's what I was convicted of at
the end, Like oh no, for me writing from a
place of still in it and writing for me a
place out of it. I had to change a lot,
not a lot, but I had to, you know, take
(44:49):
some stuff out like ooh girl, you sound bitter, Like
ooh oh, no, you're not there anymore. Like this don't
even deserve any attention. This doesn't even deserve to be
brought up anymore. So it was such a good moment
for me to go through it while still being in
it and then versus being healed, like oh yeah, no,
we're not even gonna talk about that. That sounds shady,
(45:09):
that sound bitter, like we're not there anymore, We're not
I love it, And the Holy Spirit was convicting me
of that as well, like Nope, that's not what I
told that's not what we're here for. We're here for
to be the shadow of healing purpose that you don't
have to be bitter after a divorce. You don't have
to be sitting brokenness because you're in a dark season
(45:31):
that you know that you can overcome anything if you're
intentional about putting the work in. That's scared and that's
what I felt your isolation season. Like sometimes the Holy
Spirit will be nudging at us that like it's time
for growth, it's time for you to change, and will
miss our moment, Like I'm glad that I didn't miss
my moment and that bitterness and overshadow because I never
(45:52):
wanted to be the angry black woman that's just everywhere
she goes, she just into it with somebody cussing and fussing.
I didn't want to be that, Like that's my worst fear.
So I'm like, if I have to sit down, if
I have to be celibated, if I have to do therapy,
if I have to forgive people that deserve not to
be forgiven, if I have to forgive without a genuine apology,
then that's what I'm gonna do because I don't want
(46:13):
to be that. I don't want to block my blessings.
I don't want to sit in it because forgiveness is personal.
That's strictly for me, Like, I'm not going to allow
anyone to block my blessings. So it's like it's either
now or never. What are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (46:28):
God? I fully endorsed that's like a public service announcement everyone,
everything that Shan Trees Marshall just said. I fully endorse it.
That we are not about to be bitter at any
phase of our journey as much as we can get
on the other side of it. I shared a message
called bitter not bitter, Better not bitter. Let us get
(46:50):
bad at woman, Yes, And that's that's so necessary for
us as women to figure out, even if we can
get resources like this, how we can it better instead
of dwelling and waddling in bitterness. Because it doesn't serve anybody.
So you talk about a faith walk and how important
(47:11):
it is to have complete trust and confidence in the
in God's process. I would love you to just talk
a little bit more about the faith walk and yeah,
and ultimately how I do see you. I do see you, girl,
I see. Even when they say that they're saying it
in a dating nasty you know, I see you, I
(47:35):
see you seeing me. I see, But that's not seeing
you talking about.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
So talking about walk, you said you want to know
what about it?
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Oh? I was just saying here in the faith walk,
you said, it's hard to put trust or faith into
the unknown. If feels like relying on an imaginary friend
to save you when you're drowning. The uncertainty makes it
difficult to let go and believe. But in order for
us to really be healed and seen, then you have
to have some level of faith. What kind of faith
(48:09):
walk did you have as you were going through your
healing process?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
My faith was just like why am I going through this? Like?
How is this working for my good? Yeah? That's ascription,
but it's not so. I think we all have to
build our own faith muscle, and you don't built that
by it. You can't build that by not going through things,
not going through the darkness, not going through the unknown.
Like that's faith is an individual base, right, somebody can
(48:39):
tell me, oh, yeah, I went through this, I had
no faith and I had faith of a mustard tea. Right,
it happened. But it's like I have to go through
it in my own so once just going through that
and seeing getting on the other side and see that
it did work for my good. Now I have more
faith to go through the next thing in life and
the next thing. You know.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
Yeah, And God equips us with everything we need and
he won't put more on us than we can handle
or even in bear. So if we're dealing with it
for some kind of reason, we're able to We're able
to handle it.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
And it does feel unbearable when you're going through it.
It feels very unbearable.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Absolutely. Yes, other people's story can Okay, Yes, yes, I
see you miss Jay's unfiltered talk showing podcasts. You said, yes,
other people's stories can be a personal breakthrough for you. Yes,
it can, and I see.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
I read a lot of books before, you know, while
going through it, Like I read Arnetta's book about her
going through her divorce, and that was very good. I
used to watch a lot of podcasts, a lot of interviews,
and everything was just like motivating, Like I stayed in
my lane, Like I think people need to stay in
their lane whatever you're going through, to pour into yourself.
(49:54):
Some mine was just self help books, podcast interviews, Like
for anybody that went through it that can show me
the way and how to overcome it. It does make
it easier when you're using somebody else's life as a guide.
It does.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, I did the same thing shantries. I would lay
in the bed and I was like, by myself, I'm
like I need some help, and my counselor is not
available as often as I need the help I'm talking about.
I need you get on this phone now do you
see me calling? And don't get me wrong, my counsel
is incredible. So I believe first of all that everybody
should have some level of counseling, even if it's a maintenance,
(50:34):
not because just something's wrong. But what I did do
was I looked at a lot of I found some
I just did a Google search and ended up finding
this YouTube channel filled with stuff that was stuff that
I personally had just gone through and it became almost
like a counseling session for me. I was like, oh,
that's me. What was your answer? How did you deal
(50:57):
with that?
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Right? How did you get through? Girl? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (51:00):
And it helped me.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
So important for women to share their stories.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Well, I'm glad that you shared your story. And do
you see me because I feel like you're my girlfriend
and we're just chatting and we could talk a whole
lot much deeper. But one thing I really admire, and
tell me if I'm wrong, because I read the book,
you don't mention his And we're not going to do
it on the show since you didn't do it in
the book. But you didn't mention his name. Did I?
(51:26):
Did I miss that you?
Speaker 2 (51:27):
No? No, I would never do that. We share.
Speaker 1 (51:34):
You know, you're doing something whenever you can go and
write a whole book with how many pages in this book?
Ninety two pages in this book, y'all, and she is
telling her story. I'm talking about like pouring her soul
out in this book with some deep, dark secret stuff
in here, and not one time mentioned dude.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
Yeah. Yeah, And that's when you know that you're better
and not better, you know. Yeah, But ye'all will do that.
We share a child, and it's just like we're not
in a space no more. You know, I'm on the
other side of forgiveness. You know, he has his life.
I have my life, and it's so need to Yes.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
I love this. I love it because I'm a big
believer to s entries that well, at least this is
what I told my ex husband. It's no way that
I want us to have to have you have a
baby shower and then after you're done and cleared the room,
I'll rent the same room and have a baby shower,
or you have a wedding, and then when y'all get
done with the wedding, we'll come and do the wedding,
(52:42):
or you have a funeral. It's like, are you kidding me?
Can't we just all get along?
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Right?
Speaker 1 (52:47):
We have these people that we're going to be with
for the rest of life, whatever phase of life you're in.
Come on you and all your people. It doesn't find
it doesn't find all y'all can come on you, your
baby mama, whoever, it doesn't matter, just all come together
so we can serve the common good of those individuals
(53:08):
that are impacted.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, but that comes that
comes with maturity. Yeah yeah. And that's the thing of
not sitting in your pain and trauma because the only
person that affects you, so you have to make the
choice of like, doll, I want to sit here forever,
in this space, in this dark cloud, and it's like no,
(53:30):
it's so much life out here. It's way too life
out here.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
So now you also wrote the book I'm Not Cursed
and look at you with your gold head piece on
old baby gold. I'm not cursed or am I? That's
another book that Shantrese Marshall wrote as well. And what
did you want readers to walk away with reading this book?
Speaker 2 (53:52):
Oh, this is my first baby, my first book. Just
I want people to acknowledge their generational curses because we
all have them all we all have them. I want
you to acknowledge it. I want you to do the
work to change it. You know, it's so many people
(54:13):
that's just like this is who I am, this is
what it is. And then it's so many people that
don't even know, like they are not aware. It's like
you don't see the patterns, you don't see the people
that raise you, you don't see the mistakes you're making
now as a parent, like you're walking through life with
like blind just living in the moment. So I want
(54:33):
people to acknowledge what their generational curses. Aren't trying to
change it. But although this generation are really good at
doing better than what we was raised as, it's so
many people that are not right. Well, you are doing
the work to do counseling, do life coaching. TikTok is
so popular with people telling their stories and overcoming and
(54:55):
saying that, oh, yeah, I'm doing this different with my kids,
Like I love those type of videos. But it's some
people that will watch those videos grow and just like
that's you, not me. This is how I was right,
So this is how I'm doing it. So I think
that book is very relatable, very relatable.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
Very very good. Then it is very relatable because it
makes you think differently about what is even a curse?
What looks like? Does this curse look like? How do
we see it from a different set of lenses, because
sometimes we don't even know that it is a curse
because it's normal to us. Yes, so how do you
even know that it's a curse that needs to be broken?
Speaker 2 (55:37):
You know? Yeah, so many our people are sitting in
those patterns, in those ways, and you know, some of
the stuff are strong colds, like the enemy really does
have a strong hold on people, and it's just like
only prayer can get you out of that cycle. So
if you're living a life without God and a life
without prayer, then that's really going to be the results.
Speaker 1 (55:59):
That's good and that's good that you're highlighting that in
your book, both of your books. I think it really
speaks to generational curses. Because how you were talking about
do You See Me? And Dog I really wanted my
marriage to work. I wanted it to last. It was
what I thought was gonna happen. And still if you
look at your family. I'm not gonna go through every
part of the book because you got to get the book, y'all.
(56:21):
In the book, I mean, it's gonna be like you
don't want to put it down. So grab a copy
of Do You See Me? By Shantrees Marshall. And also
while you're getting a book, go ahead and get I'm
Not Cursed or Am I? By Shantrese Marshall and make
sure that you share it even if you're not dealing
with divorce, but someone else that you know is give
them a copy because they will be blessed. And you
(56:43):
can stay connected with Shantries right on Instagram at Queen
Underscore Shantries and then you can go to her website
Queenshantries dot com. So what's next for you? I see
some stuff like magazine covers going on with you.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
Oh what's the next? I would love to do my
third book. Okay, I'm looking at to take this some
acting classes before the end of the year.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (57:10):
I want to continue to network and just continue to
push both books and whatever God has for me, I'm
ready to walk into it.
Speaker 1 (57:19):
Well. I think that whatever you choose to do, Queen,
You're going to accomplish it with some level of ease
or grace because God has graced you to get past
these obstacles and issues in your life to be able
to share your story and help other people get to
the other side. And the lady that's been commenting today,
I want to put it up here that she is
(57:40):
also going to be on the Kim Jacobs Show, and
so make sure you tune in for a special episode
this evening with her, and that you may be watching
it as a replay later don't worry about the date
if you're watching it as a replay and it's not
on this date that's on the screen. But get this
information navigating life's challenges with Charmagne Thompson. She's going to
be on The Kim Jacobs Show for a special episode
(58:02):
at a special time. Well, this has been very helpful. Okay,
let's see we almost at the conclusion here, but I
do want to take a moment to let you all
know that we have our tenth annual five K Walk
with Gabe's Heart Foundation, where every heartbeat counts, and we're
going to keep Gabe's heart beating by continuing to raise
funds for defibrillators to be put in public spaces where
(58:25):
young people congregate. Gabriel is my twelve year old son.
He'll be twenty two and so it's ten years that
he has transitioned from this earth. But we're doing everything
we can to allow more families to have more time
with their loved ones by put placing these defibrillators in
public spaces. So the five K Walk is on October
(58:47):
on October eighteenth, twenty twenty five, October eighteenth, and you
can go to Gabe'sheartfoundation dot org to learn more. And
if you are an organization and you would like to
donate funds for a defibrillator to be raffled at the
five k walk, We're going to be raffling off some defibrillators,
so if we're able to do that based on your contribution,
(59:09):
you can go to Gabshartfoundation dot org. We already have
a donation, so we're just asking you to match the
donation so we can raise enough funds to get multiple
defibrillators be able to be raffled. Okay, all right, any
closing comment shantries.
Speaker 2 (59:27):
No, thank you for your time. Thank you, Kim. I
appreciate you so much for just Poeurgner to me my
first book. It's always good to connect with you, and
thank you for everyone for so many in.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
You are amazing and I'm so honored to have to
host you on today. It's been an honor and a privilege.
And I thank you for going through my group training.
Anybody else that would like to take the group training
to start your own show. If you're an author or
a motivational speaker, you're someone that is an entrepreneur, you
should have a show you have a show, don't you
(01:00:01):
thank Centries?
Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Yes, yes, And that's another thing as well, getting my
show up. I know we did the trend in some
time ago, but I was so focused on the book,
so I was mostit asking. But I would love to
revamp my life coaching because I kind of give it
out for free, and anybody that called me with advice
or anything, you know, I just whatever. But I would
(01:00:24):
love to revamp my life coaching, and I would love
to finally start my show war podcasts.
Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
And I'm excited about that for you because I knew
we were doing the books and everything that we were
working on, but and I know you want to be
on specific platforms, and you know all of the platforms
because you went through the training, so you know exactly
what to do to get this up and fully running.
But the way that our graduation page works too, is
any additional trainings that you need, I'll continue to offer those,
(01:00:53):
and then I have special school communities that specifically are
as follow up things for all of our grad as well. Okay,
so I'm excited about that. So you gotta you gotta go,
go go. It's time to rock and roll. It is yep,
no more excuses only results.
Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Oh no more, no more. When the last quarter of
this year and went, that's so fast. But yeah, it's
time to push. It's really time to push.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
But literally, the whole world, in my opinion, shuntries misses
out when we don't get our message out to the
world because it's specific gifts and talents that God's trusting
you with. That's like, that's your body of work.
Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
So I'm excited about it. If any of you are
interested in starting your own show as well, make sure
you reach out. You can reach out at Kim Jacob's
Show at gmail dot com, or you can call seven
oh four nine six' two seven one sixty one and
we'll make sure you are one of the five students
that we will be kicking our next training. Off all,
RIGHT i think this has been a wonderful. Experience was
there anything you didn't say that you really wanted to say? Today?
Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Oh, NO i think that was.
Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Everything oh, right all, right, Everybody thank you for tuning
into this. Episode thank you for being in the studio.
Audience let me go. BACK i see all of your
comments that's been coming in and over On instagram as.
Well thank you all so. Much for your active participation
today here on The Kim Jacob, show and we'll see.
You i'm actually going to see you for a special,
episode but we'll see you Again monday Through friday at
(01:02:18):
eleven O'CLOCK Am Eastern Standard, time right here on The
Kim Jacob. Show love you, All bye. Bye thank you
for tuning in to today's episode Of The Kim Jacob
show and for being in the virtual studio. Audience your
presence truly does make a, difference AND i look forward
to you bringing your friends and family to join you
in the virtual studio Audience monday Through friday at eleven
(01:02:39):
O'CLOCK Am Eastern Standard. TIME i look forward to seeing
you and make it a great. Day
Listen, we have a great show lined up for you.
I'm your host, Kim Jacob's better known as the Balance Doctor.
And all of our guests that come on there either
people that have overcome some tremendous odds in their own
lives as they balance this thing called life, or they're
experts and they're here to share tips and strategies that
will help you better balance and manage your life. Grab
(00:22):
your virtual seats and let's get ready for some real,
relevant and relatable content on today's episode of a Kim
Jacobs Show. Jacob Well, hello everyone, and welcome to this
(00:42):
episode of The Kim Jacob Show, where we are bringing
balance to the world, one household at a time. And
guess what today we're doing that with Shantrees Marshall. How
are you today, Shantrees?
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I'm good.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
How are you?
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Kim?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Oh, I'm doing great, doing great, And I'm actually I've
read your book and I'm it's just such a vulnerable,
transparent exposing moments that you have released in this book.
And so everybody, I want you to quickly make sure
you share this broadcast, Share with your friends, your coworkers,
(01:15):
let people know before we even get started. I want
you to let people know that they don't want to
miss this episode of The Kim Jacob Show. We're talking
today with Shantrise Marshall, and she's gonna be talking to
us about do you see me? Do you see me?
Everybody had that whole cliche, you know you do you
see me? Can you say I see you? All of that, right,
(01:39):
but really do you see me? And today we're gonna
get the answer to that and who really needs to
see you? And you're gonna learn that from Shantrise Marshall.
So as we get started today, let me just make
sure I'm gonna do one thing on this phone because
I really wanted some of your co graduates to be
(01:59):
a part of seeing this today because Sharon Chantries actually
and sometimes you can't do this stuff until the show
is live, which is whole catch twenty two. But here's
the thing. Chantries graduated from a program on how to
start your show from scratch, So she graduated from a
program that I did a six week training on. So
I'm really I'm just really excited about what God is
(02:23):
doing already through your journey. So welcome Chantries.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Thank you for having me, Kim.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
Thank you for being here. Today and I want to
just I want to read because I really I was
looking at your bio and I like, right here on
the back of this book, do you see me? Chantries
Marshall is a passionate and resilient mother, a dedicated nurse,
an accomplished book author, life coach, and an aspiring actress.
(02:50):
You don't have to be no aspiring girl. All you
gotta do is reach out to Tyler Perrit. He's one
of the rolls.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Right. I went to his studio was a blank trip,
but I went, Okay, we talk about that and guess
what she is?
Speaker 1 (03:02):
A life coach she is also her authenticity is something
that really just permeates through her pores, her compassion. When
you're around her and get a chance to be in
the same room with Shantries, you feel a certain thing.
People call it a vibe, but I feel like the
compassion and the authenticity as well as her unwavering determination.
(03:25):
She lives life to the fullest and helps people transform
their lives through life lessons into blessings. I am super
excited to welcome Chantries to the Kim Jacob Show today, everyone,
and I love how your camera's moving in and out.
It is doing the most, so like kind of like you,
you be doing the most over there, so it goes
(03:49):
with your personality. Listen shantries. When I was thinking about this,
instead of just jumping right into the topic, I really
wanted to know more about you as a person because
I know I've had you on the show before. You're
the author of multiple books, but we're going to be
highlighting this particular one today. But just take us back
a little bit on your journey and what kind of
(04:11):
brought you to the point where you are today.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
So as you know, you quote it the thing says,
you know, it sounds good. The mother, the nurse, the
book author, the life coach. But who I am as
a person, I would say, I'm resilient, determined. I'm a
mother of two girls. One it's eighteen, one is nine.
I'm a woman with God. I developed my relationship higher
(04:36):
with God through trials and tribulations of just going through
what you know no other women, other women have went
through as well. I don't know. I like to travel,
I like to read, I like to write.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Because you're not like that very well.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
That's pretty much. It just determine very.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
He absolutely, and when I was when I was reading
your book. I've read both of your books, but this
one in particular, do you see me? I felt like
I was being so drawn into it, almost like it
was a novel, but it's really based on real like
no I know, and.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
I had so much reservation about putting that much out.
So it's just like, hey, we're here now, so.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Yeah, I understand, So listen. What I'm going to do
is I want to yeah, because I when I think
about putting this out the reservation associated with it, and
I can personally relate because I've also gone through a divorce.
So anybody that you know this experienced a divorce. This
woman today is going to really drop some knowledge and
(05:50):
some nuggets on each and every one of you. But
one of the things that I saw with your book
is how considerate you were. Yes, that's very important that you.
People are gonna see you automatically. Y'all gonna get to
see my handsome hunk of a young son walking by
because he's like coming from the gym, and like, people
(06:11):
are gonna see you because I'm not gonna close my camera,
so y'all can get a partial view of beauty sculpting.
Beauty is what's happening there is sculpted beauty. But anyway,
that's a good thing to be fit right, fit and trim.
This is as we're balancing our lives. It's pretty interesting
because when we're balancing our lives, it goes really with
(06:32):
the fact that we're balancing our lives in real time.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Yes, real time, it's real time.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
And so what inspired you to write the book Do
you see Me?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
I just feel like so many people can relate. I
wanted to have a moment that was real, that was raw,
and it just was like, it is what it is.
And although I battled with how much to share, I
knew that I still had to put it out and
I said in that moment and wrote in that real time.
Speaker 1 (07:02):
This right here is when I say real time, y'all,
this is real time, real talk in this book.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
So it was so much more that I didn't put
in the book.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
So, yeah, anybody that anybody that is dealing with the
difficulty associated with going through a divorce, you want to
grab a copy of this book Do you see Me?
Because it puts it into perspective that you can make it.
You're gonna be okay, just go through the process and
(07:32):
trust the process that God has as you're navigating this
new season of your life. So do you see me?
Is something that you want to have a copy of
in your library, but not just to put it on
a bookshelf. I have a lot of books that I've
put on a bookshelf sentries, but I haven't read them all.
So I'm like, I'm not about to buy another book
(07:52):
til I read once I have. In this case, when
I got yours, i read through it and I immediately
felt like, wow, this is almost like a twin of mine.
Ere she's speaking directly to me. Was that your intention?
Speaker 2 (08:06):
Yeah? And that's the point about being real in the
moment is just like so many people can relate. I
think when we go back and try to feel her things,
it becomes unrelatable. And I think that it's not for
only anyone that's going through a divorce, but for someone
that's just went through a dark season. They just don't
know what's on the other side.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
That's good and I love how you kind of you
go through even the different phases of grief, because it
can be people that have had loss from losing a
loved one, losing a job, losing a lot of different things,
because losses is lost. It is when it's happening. You
broke that down. I was when I was highlighted some
of the pages. But you said shock and denial was
(08:47):
these are the stages of grief, pain and guilt, anger
and bargaining, depression and loneliness, the upward turn, reconstruction and
working together, and then acceptance and hope. When you were
writing this book, what phase do you feel you were
in when you were in the mode of writing.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Oh, shock and denial, and it one to acceptance. Most
of the book was written why I was in it.
Then the end part was rutten when I was out
of it, so I had to go back and like,
I don't feel that same feeling anymore. So it's like,
but I still want to keep the rowness. But then
(09:29):
I want to write also from a point of me
being on the other side, to give other people hope.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
That's good because I've written I'm actually in the process
of writing several books that I've been writing for years.
Every every time I picked the book up and start writing,
I get like fifty something pages done, and then because
of where I am in that moment, I'm like, you
know what, I'm gonna stop and then the next year,
on the anniversary date or something, I'll start back again.
(09:57):
But the book has to eventually get out, even though
you might be walking through some of the pain and
trauma you've personally experienced. What do you encourage authors or
aspiring authors to do, because you're gonna be helping me
even in this case, because I've been a part of
four different five books at this point that are out
international bestsellers and all of that stuff on Amazon, but
(10:19):
there are some more books in me. So what advice
would you give me and other people watching today to
get the books out?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Just do it. I just do it, because I get
so many people that come up to me to just
be like, how did you do it? How long did
it take? Just do it? My first book. I have
been trying to write that for years and years. It
came from thoughts of just like generational curses this, and
just observing other people. Then I'm observing myself and it's
(10:47):
just like when I just did it, It's like, okay,
let's go from book number two. And I was like, okay,
let's go from book number three. So some you know,
people come up to me like how and when did
you start Just do it? Just do it.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
Well, that's a big philosophy of philosophy of mine as well,
and that's hence five different books that I've been a
part of. One when I was on NBC, I did
a compilation of all of the tips that I would
share to different families when I would do balance makeovers.
But it was just just do it, Kim, just get
it out there and do it. So that's the perfect device.
Speaker 2 (11:21):
And then I have people come up to me and say, well,
you know, if I was to put my life story
in a book, it would be unbelievable, but that people
won't believe what I went through, And it's like, right it.
So people can see through that and people can relate
because so many people are going through the same thing.
So it's just like, don't be afraid to be vulnerable,
because that's what I battle with in the Beginning's like,
(11:42):
I don't know if I want to put this out
here right once, So do what you feel free?
Speaker 1 (11:48):
You know you do you do? You finally like yes,
it's very liberating. I can't imagine when you finally got
this book, do you see me out out into the atmosphere.
It had to be almost it's like a weight lifted
off of you.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Or was it or it was it was it was
a weightlifted. But then I'm gonna be honest. I have
moments where I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have.
Maybe I shouldn't have, but it was just just like no,
that was the enemy trying to whisper things to me.
But no. It was very relieving because I went through
so much trying to get it out. Like the first
book was a quicker process, with this, it kind of
(12:23):
took me longer because I was going through this in
real time and in real moments, and I had to
stop for a couple months and I had to pick
the pan back up. Then I had to feel those
emotions again when I talked about it. Then it was
just like no. Then I went on the fast and
it was like no, keep going.
Speaker 1 (12:40):
Yeah. I read of her that you wrote that down
on page twenty five. When you went through your twenty
one day fast, that's when you experienced the most attacks.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
Why do you think, oh, my goodness, I'm fasting right now.
So it's a love hate relationship with fast thing. It
really is. Because anything that you think that you're over,
anything that you are running from anything that you need
(13:11):
something to be revealed, good or bad. It's going to
come from fast. Like I never knew how powerful fasting was.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Right, Yeah, fast thing can definitely bring some results, some
things that I know. And when I've turned my plate
down and I've been intentional with God about God, I
need this thing to happen. And then He's like, finally
I got your attention. Yes, because now that isn't your God.
You don't have to have that thing that you keep
(13:40):
feeling like you have to have to nourish your soul.
I can nourish your soul.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
That was good. So during that time I wanted to
ask people everybody as well. The question that I have
for you all in the studio audience is have you
ever felt unseen? And I want you to type in
the comments section a time that you felt unseen and
you were actually trying to be seen but for whatever reason,
it's like, can anybody not see me around here? What
am I dog meet? I'm trying my best to be seen,
(14:08):
but I'm not being seen. So we've all experienced that.
Why do you think so many people feel unseen?
Speaker 2 (14:14):
Gingris, I think because they're not sharing. They're not sharing.
A lot of people keep a lot of stuff in.
You know, you can pretty much walk in a room
until who's healed and unhealed and who's deflecting on somebody
else's life to take away from the things that they're
(14:34):
going through. You know, you can sit around people and
it's like, oh, this this, this person, this person, And
then it's like if I look deep within you, I
could see all the brokenness, Like I don't have room
to talk about nobody else's life, so you really can.
It's like, once you feel unseen, you'll do anything to
be seen, and sometimes that's negative.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
That's right, that's so I'm oh, God, girl, you're gonna
have me over. You're slain in the spirit right there,
because you can, like you said, if you're not able
to take your mask off and be true to who
God has you to be in a situation and share
some level of transparency that I definitely don't have all
(15:16):
of the answers to everything, and I don't even need
to act like I do. I don't. That's why you
have to bring other experts in and surround yourself with
people that do have those particular answers, you know, right,
So then that way it doesn't matter about whether you're
seen or not. What needs to be accomplished is being accomplished.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
The goal is being hofessed, right right.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
So your goal with this particular book that you've written,
which is do you see me? What is your objective?
And what do you hope people walk away with?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Walking away knowing that you can pretty much overcome anything
if you're intentional about doing the work, like it's really
all about doing the work.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Hm. Okay. And then y'all, some of the work is
heavily laid out in this book, so she can't go
through every detail because then that's going to defeat the
purpose of getting the book. But what I will tell
you how do people get your book? I know they
can get it on Amazon because I can see that,
But how do they get an autograph copy of the
book from you?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
You can purchase at ww dot Queenshantrees dot com and
when you purchase, O'll sign a book in Melodoso.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
You at Queen Shantries. Okay, so I said, okay, And
on Instagram you are Queen Shantries.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yes, Queen Underscore shant Underscore.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
That's I knew it was something in the underscore chan okay,
and then you can purchase the book at Queen Shantrees
dot com. Right, yep, okay, y'all. I want to make
sure that we put this up here. How you can
actually purchase the book, especially if you want an autograph copy,
go to Queen Shantries and that's h A N t R.
(16:56):
I c E for our audio podcast listeners dot com
Queenshantrees dot com and you can follow her on Instagram
at Queen Underscore shan Trees. But you definitely want to
get a copy and autographed copy. It'll come in a
nice gold foiled bag. I was like, I still got
my rapping. I was like, it's my favorite color. Gold
(17:17):
is my favorite color?
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Is it?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Gold?
Speaker 2 (17:19):
Is? Why?
Speaker 1 (17:20):
Why go?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
It's just it? It makes me feel happy inside, Like
I love the color gold, anything gold. It's like I'm
buying it. I love gold.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
I didn't even know that about you, and you went
through a whole six week training of mine. So that's
so important to be able to see people the way
they need to be seen. Ye, because how did I
and this is just me talking here, how did I
not know that? And you went through a whole six
week training with me. That's going to make me do
some things differently with my new students. Okay, yeah, because
(17:50):
gold is your favorite color and I didn't know that.
Speaker 2 (17:54):
That was a while ago though, I think was that
one of the questions you asked. I'm not sure you know.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
That's the point. I didn't ask it, That's what I'm saying. Okay,
So as a result of this conversation.
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Color, like what would I background or something be, I
did ask thank you and.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
Let your trainer off the book. Right, You're like, I'm
not gonna throw you under the bus. Can. I'll give
you a chance to just redeem yourself. So in this
book it gets really deep and I took some specific notes,
but you really you really go through the fact of
never in a million years, moments that you really highlight
(18:35):
in this book, and some of the hardships you've personally experienced.
To whatever level you feel comfortable, take us on somewhat
of a journey through what what you personally went through
that brought you to the point of having to write
this book.
Speaker 2 (18:53):
Okay, let's go back. I would say, you know, divorce
when you get married is for better or for worse.
When you have that never in a million years what
I experienced, this, this and this, and it's like, okay, God,
it's too much for me. So I surrendered, Like, whatever
you want to happen, you can happen. It can happen,
you can have it. Like whatever you need from me,
(19:14):
I'll do it. So I think that we all have
our life planned out. So when you lose control over that,
it's like, Okay, I ain't as strong as I thought.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yeah. I love how you interview also as a guest,
because you make a point and then we kind of
keep it going. And every time you make a point,
it's a point that is like the sticking right to
me because I feel like this is probably one of
the better conversations I can have because I'm having it
with somebody that I feel the same way. I thought,
(19:50):
what this is gonna be. This is gonna be my plan,
This is what I thought was going to be the
outcome based on how life is supposed to be. But
things happen in ways that are unforeseen to us, and
how do we handle it? Then? So in your case,
we have children, We have children, and I know that
(20:11):
sometimes when you're experiencing divorce, it doesn't just impact us,
It impacts our children. It does talk about that you're
and your daughters.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
It was a change for them. I noticed a change
with them going through that. It definitely affected everyone. But
I was intentional as well about doing the work with them.
You know, I had to give them grace, grace as well.
You know, you sometimes realize like, oh, you're a kid,
you supposed to but they're supposed to feel as well
(20:44):
and see as well. So it's like, okay, we're out
of this. Now is a new environment. Now let me
do some things different. So I would say like spending
more time with them, spending one on one time with them.
I created a tradition where I do three vacations a
year where I do one with my oldest daughter, one
with my youngest daughter, and then we do one where
all three of us together.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
That's good, just so you do that again. You do
one with all three of you together, one vacation with
your youngest daughter and one vacation with your oldest daughter.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Yes, so last year it was can Cone with my
oldest daughter. With my youngest daughter, it was Disney World,
and then all three of us did Myrtle Beach. And
then this year, me and my youngest daughter did LA,
but me and my oldest daughter haven't done one yet
because she's in school.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
So and then now that this is gonna I'm sure
cause a little bit of a sticky point because I
know that the children may feel like, oh, I know
she's not going to can Con and I'm not. How
do you deal with that?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
It's pretty much a preference, a preference up there.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
Yeah, yeah, so whatever place they decide it's going to
be their ultimate vacation. That's where yeah make it.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Like my youngest daughter, we watched a lot of TV together,
like we'll watch and to watch All Americans. Like I've
never been to LA. I want to see this, I
want to see Slouston. And I'm just like, okay, we'll
do LA this year. And that's see you should.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Have told me now see, I love I love All
American too. Ain't doing any more seasons. I know we
sidetrack it.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
I know that I haven't watched this season seven yet,
So come on you girl. Yeah, it just came out
on Netflix a while ago, but I've just been so
busy I haven't got a chance to binge watch that one.
But I love All Americans.
Speaker 1 (22:28):
She does, so it's like, yeah, that's funny because that's
the only time I get to watch something. Like I
was telling somebody my TV hasn't been on for like
a couple of months, because I only have to be
very intentional when I sit down. If I'm gonna sit
down and watch something, I'll carve out the time and
that set an appointment and binge watch it type of
thing versus because most of my news and stuff will
(22:49):
pop on my phone as a news break or feed
or something that I'll keep up to date with what's
going on in the world that way. But I'm very
intentional when I'm sitting down and.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Like enjoying the show and yeah, yes, so.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
See we can hang out Shantries. But listen for you
all that's tuning in right now. We're talking with Shantrise Marshall,
and I love how she has written this book, which
is do you see Me? A lot of times we
feel unseen in life, and she's taken the time to
break down some of the hardships she's experienced in life
and how they impacted her. How do you feel like
(23:23):
that particular season in your life help you build more
resilience and faith and even self worth, because when you're
going through divorced sometimes you're self worth is hindered.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
After all the bad things, I turned around and get
the work to make it good things. Okay, Like, even
though I was sitting in that broken marriage and awful moment,
I wrote my first book, I became a life coach.
I was attending women's event, so it's like I was
in therapy right when I got out. I continue to
(24:01):
do those things, so that's good. I didn't feel the
need to turn to things that are world you know.
I'm so glad that God caught me in that moment
so I wouldn't be bitter, so I wouldn't party and
sleep with men and be around a bad influence of women,
you know. So I was very intentional about doing the
(24:23):
work in the moment, no matter how I felt.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
I love that. I love that, and I commend you
for that because there are so many different choices of
things that we can cling on to in the middle
of our transitions, but being careful to make a conscious decision.
This ain't how I'm rolling, all right, whatever whatever life
has to bring, I'm not rolling like this, you know. Yeah,
that's good. I really admire that. In you and I've
(24:50):
been I've taken the same type of stance going through
a divorce as well, and I'm like, but sometimes I
think it please I don't know if it applies to
you or not, but sometimes I think I'm being too
premature with some things. I'm like, and I'm not doing this,
and I'm not neverbly like, did I even ask you
for this?
Speaker 2 (25:08):
It makes you kind of guarded because once you you
know that person, you're like, Okay, I'm building this person up.
I'm not letting anyone dictate break nothing. So you can't
even get that close to me.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Wow, Yeah, but you you know, And it's interesting because
we don't want to have such a high wall that
nobody feels like they can even penetrate the wall and
get through to say, hey, I am out here. I'm
trying to take a connection with you. But you're too
You're not fully healed, so therefore you cannot you can't
(25:41):
even accept what's being offered here. Right, people have happened. Yeah,
But okay, So as you're as you're dealing with going
through your divorce, one of the things that I like
that you did is honor the fact that there are
three parts to every story.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yeah they are. Yeah, just because I have my part,
he may have his part. Then it may be a
person in the middle that say, hey, I understand both
person's point of view, but in realistically, this is what
it is. So I think you got to be open
to that. Some people are not open to other people's opinions, feedbacks,
moral values. They don't want to be accountable, they don't
(26:22):
want to be corrected. Like I'm open to learning. I
love to learn, I love to debate, I love to
hear things from other people's point of view. Some people
are not like that.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Yeah, I've had some people when I've talked to them,
We've had some hard conversations, and I tell the people
I actually welcome that. So it's fine because that makes
me a better person. I'll take notes on what they're
saying because I want to be better. He doesn't want
to be a better version of themselves.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Right, it's like how you grow, you know.
Speaker 1 (26:54):
Right, Because I'm never going to evolve, I shouldn't say
that women evolve. I do think that we should be
all ways, ever learning and ever growing and ever developing,
And so I think that life teaches us through our
own hardships. How to further evolve is probably the best
thing that I could think to say. You know, so, now,
(27:15):
looking back from your perspective, how did that chapter in
your life actually help shape who you are in your
opinion today? Especially from an author's perspective.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
It kind of made me resilient, Yeah, resilient, very resilient.
It kind of made me more understanding to people because
I feel like everyone is going through something.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Yes, yeah, everyone is going through something, and so people
that are going through different types of hardship. Again we're
talking about divorce, but it doesn't have to be.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
Like everything is for a reason. Everything that people do
is for a reason. Kind of makes you be a
little bit more understanding to where I could see what
you did, but then I know it's something behind.
Speaker 1 (28:07):
What you did, right, So that gives you a little
bit more grace, right.
Speaker 2 (28:11):
It does? It does. My grace can sometimes be just
leaving you right where you are and not dealing with you.
Sometimes my grace can be praying for you. Sometimes my
grace can be just giving you a little bit of advice.
But regardless of what the grace is, it's something deeper.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Yeah, but you recognize that even before you start dealing
with the other person or the people, right, and because
of that, then you're like grace to give grace. It's like,
this definitely is the enemy using you.
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Yeah, Like it's a you thing. That's what I say, Like,
that's a you thing. Regardless of what you say and
how you feel about me. That's a you thing that
has nothing to do with me. You're trying to push
that off on me. It has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Do you say it like that too with your facial
expression very.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
People, it will weigh you down, you know, it will
weigh you down. So it's just like, I can't. Once
you've gone through something like that and you literally had
to work for your peace and work for your healing,
nobody can come in between that. Nobody.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
I'm glad. I'm glad you're saying this. Listen, everybody, we're
talking to Shantrise Marshall. We're talking she's the author of
Do You See Me. Many times we feel unseen, unheard,
not considered. Our feelings aren't even factored into the equation.
And it's a serious thing that can cause quite a
bit of discontentment, and it can make you feel broken,
(29:46):
broken into a lot of different pieces. I had today
this morning, Gentries. I was full of peace, joy, happiness.
Spent yesterday after I got out of church laying beside
my mom and just didn't do much of anything for
like hours on hand because I was like, we need
to just destress sometimes and just be here. How my
mom needs me to be here, even though her room
was very hot, and I was like, I know, like
(30:08):
a mommy, like I've been just sucking on a desert
or something. I was so dehydrated, but it made her
so happy, right, she felt seen and it was some
things she was going through that she needed to be seen.
But how we see each other and how we need
to be seen, it's different. So how do we see
people the way they need to be seen?
Speaker 2 (30:29):
I always say that people see you through their own LANs,
like regardless of how you grow, Like I may be
the same old person who other old people because they
see me through that lens. But people that just meeting me,
they see me do it through a different LANs. Like
the older people they haven't acknowledged the growth of healing
(30:51):
the different person. And sometimes you just have to step
away so people can see you from a different LANs,
Like I can't continue to sit in front of you
knowing that the lands that you see me through is
the old version of me.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
So how do you do that without throwing the people away?
Because at the end of the day, it's like, you know,
the word talks about shaking the dust off your feet
and just going about your business if you're not received.
So how do you from your perspective as being an
author of do you see me? And even breaking generational curses?
The book that you wrote as well about that, how
do you recommend people do that without fully ending all
(31:29):
relationships because.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
Like, no, you back in the day bye, the honest,
truep is something you probably are going to have to
do that. It's just accepting that you're a different person.
And if you're different, everything and everyone can't go so
sometimes distance and sometimes the distance may not be permanent,
and sometimes with sometin people it may be permanent. But
(31:52):
it's not a good feeling when people view you through
those lands of the person that you used to be.
It's kind of draining. You know how people can go
into Rovin and it's like, oh, they're bringing up the
past and this and that. It's like I don't want
to hear that. I'm not that person, no more so
I cannot relate to what you're saying. So it's like
the only way for me to protect my piece and
(32:12):
protect the new version that I work so hard to
be is by distance.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
That's that's good. Yeah, that's so good. I know. Sometimes
I'll even bring up my own past, right because our
past when we're talking about marriage and different things, it's
our story too. It's a part of It's like I
try to share a story without involving sometimes the other person,
and it's like what but sometimes.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
Huh, sometimes people.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
Will dwell on that, right, Yeah, And so dwelling on
it is definitely not a good thing in my opinion.
But sometimes the point I was getting ready to make
is sometimes I'll say something and I'll realize this person
don't even know what I'm talking about at all, because
they see me from the new lens of life versus
knowing my backstory or whatever the case may be. So
(33:00):
then it's like, now I'm pulling everybody into stuff that
I didn't even need to pull them into, right, Has
that ever happened to you?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Yeah? Yeah? But also distance, I'm just big.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
On my piece, Like I can tell you, like, no,
not that often because I'm like, you see me from
those glasses. I need you to see me from these
new glasses.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Right, yeah, I'm really big. Anything that does not feel
good or I just can't.
Speaker 1 (33:31):
Well, how does that? How has that served you as
far as how does that help you accomplish your goals,
your daughter's goals? How does that work for you? Because
that's going to definitely sever a lot of people that
were possibly in your past.
Speaker 2 (33:46):
I think that when you go through that isolation season,
it's easier. It's easier when you go through moments what
it just has to be you and God, when it
has to just be you and your thoughts and anything.
So it's just like it may affect it, it may
offend people, but if you're putting yourself first, you just
(34:07):
have to do what you have to do. That's good, Okay,
your piece comes first, your piece, and in due time
everything will work itself out, like the people that are
meant to be will be, and the people that you
have to love from a distance, you just have to
love them from a distance.
Speaker 1 (34:24):
But so you don't get many crinkles in your forehead
because you look like you really relaxed over there. You're like, no,
you just love them from a distance.
Speaker 2 (34:30):
You know, I'm gonna be honest. It's easier said than done.
It is. It's very I'm not gonna sit up here
and say that it's just like, oh, okay, No, it's
very hurtful. It's very hurtful, it's very lonely. I just
think it's something that we all have to go through
to grow. That's if you want to grow, you know,
(34:51):
certain areas are just not going to serve you anymore.
Speaker 1 (34:54):
That's good, that's good. I see some studio audience comments.
Evangelist Clara Walton is on and she said, Amen, Yes,
many times I have felt unseen, but God knew it's
to see me at all times, and I was able
to move forward with his plans for my life. So
how do you want to speak to that? That'd be
(35:15):
a good because I know I saw some stuff in
your book pertaining to God's plans versus your plans.
Speaker 2 (35:21):
Yeah. Uh, surrendering sometimes God's plans as hard as lonely,
as tears as and you know you don't understand why
you're going through it, right. I think that when you
lose control of your life and you surrender and you
know that God has full control over your life. Why
wouldn't you want to get close to the person and
(35:43):
has control over your life.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
I agree, I don't have control over my life. God
has control of it, so why not we have to
be best friends?
Speaker 1 (35:54):
That's right? Like, Okay, well, I love I love the
fact that you're saying that, because once we know that
we don't belong to ourselves, then it makes it easier
for us to be able to surrender, to say, Okay, God,
not my will, but your will be done. Let your
will be done.
Speaker 2 (36:12):
Yep. So that's hard, Like if you I want control
over my life like I really do, but I don't,
so you know.
Speaker 1 (36:24):
And that's why it goes back to Jeremiah twenty nine eleven,
where he says, I know the plans that I have
for you, and their good plans and their plans for
us to prosper and not. They're not plans that are
evil for us. They're going to work out in our
best interests in some capacity, in some way. But we
have to do what you said on page fifty Yeah,
page fifty three. All things work together for good to
(36:45):
those who seek the Lord. And that was in Romans
eight twenty eight. So understanding that scripture is easier said
than done, especially when we are going or have gone
through a divorce. So how did you apply that scripture
when you were going through that hardship.
Speaker 2 (37:05):
I don't think I did.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I didn't.
Speaker 2 (37:08):
I want to be honest. I was angry. I was
a lot of angry in that moment. If we didn't, honest,
I didn't it sounded good. People were telling me that,
but I just couldn't see that this is gonna work
out for my good I couldn't. It was awful. It
was very awful sitting in that.
Speaker 1 (37:27):
And everybody has advice when you're going through I've never
received so much advice. I was like, I don't even
want all of this advice. Okay, I'm trying to make it.
I'm trying to breathe, I'm trying to figure this thing out.
And here it's like just constant, don't I don't think
you should do this. I don't think you should do this.
I say you do this. It's like, okay, you know what, God,
(37:47):
intervene and help us us out. I need you to
help me in this moment. Is that how you were
feeling too?
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Yeah? I just feel like if you wasn't married, you
couldn't give me any advice, Like, I'm not that person
that you could just I'm up, someone talks to me
about my personal business because it's like I didn't tell
you that? Who told you that? And it just was
like nobody, nobody approached me really going through that. It
was whispers. But it's like in that moment, comes talking
to me about my business.
Speaker 1 (38:13):
Though, oh well, I'm I'm talking. If you have some
family that you feel comfortable talking with, then I have.
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Yeah. I wasn't talking about it because I didn't even
know what that was, what I was going through. So
just if you wasn't married, I didn't need your advice.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
You find it if.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
You wasn't married, like I only talked directly to married women. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Interesting, Okay, well y'all heard it right here on the
Kim Jacob Show. If you weren't married, then shan Teresa's
like save it. Basically, that's what she was saying because
she didn't need the advice. She needed to figure out
what was going on in her life. And so and
you figured it out well by getting it released in
your book. Do you see me? Let's see Charmain Thompson said,
the reason why people feel unseen is low social psycho
(39:00):
logical low self esteem or social anxiety. Do you I.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
Agree with that, and that's that's good. That's good. I
like what you said with social anxiety.
Speaker 1 (39:10):
I think I have social anxiety social anxiety. That's interesting.
I hadn't thought about it from that perspective, and I
actually it's because I'm also a pastor. Now it's an
interesting dynamic because I'm always around people in some regard
in a social capacity, and sometimes it's like having to
(39:31):
unplug and say, you know what, this is going to
be my carved out private time. This is also important. Yeah,
so Charmain, great point, great point. Thank you all. Thank
you Evangelis Walson for your comments, and y'all keep your
comments coming because this gives us some more things that
we can talk about during this hour with Shantrise Marshall,
(39:53):
who is the author of Do You See Me? And
It's a game change. It's a game changer because she's
not just venting in this book, but she's also giving
you some solutions on how to trust the process and
go through the process and get the healing that you need.
Now are you? Are you? A therapist, because you speak
(40:14):
in a therapist's language throughout your book too.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
Me, Oh my goodness, I wish that I was no
just certain life.
Speaker 1 (40:22):
Coach, certified life coach. Well, you are dropping some significant
wisdom in this book, and it's something that different therapists
like on psychology today in different places. They should put
this in their office to be able to hear what
your thoughts on it from a real life experience situation,
because a lot of times people are giving book advice,
(40:45):
but until you've gone through it and you got to
the other side of it, can really help somebody in
that regard, you know, right, right. And one of the
things I do want us to harp on a little
bit more is that our children. In our case, we
both have children, they grieve as well. The whole marriage
(41:05):
is a loss for them.
Speaker 2 (41:07):
They do, they do, So.
Speaker 1 (41:09):
What grace do we need to show children that are
dealing with divorced situations any advice?
Speaker 2 (41:16):
Probably be more patient with your tone, more patient with
the punishment. But it can't last too long. But you
do need to give grace. It can't last too long.
But yeah, I didn't know how bad it affected my
kids until I was out of it.
Speaker 1 (41:35):
Yeah, that's that's good to know because I same here.
I didn't know until I was out of it, mainly
because you're going through it and you're dealing with it,
and you're like, I got to keep my own sanity
talking about health. Health. So you can't pour, as many
people already know, you can't pour from an empty cup.
You have to pour from an overflow situation. And when
your cup is empty, it's like you're in the picture frame.
(41:56):
You can't see how other people are even being impacted scenarios.
So I love the fact that you address that in
your book. So again, if you all don't have a
copy of this book do you see Me by Shantrees Marshall,
you want to get a copy of it. And there's
also on her page you can learn more about her
as an author, as a speaker, as a mother, and
(42:17):
what she has to offer through her website. And her
website that I've expressed already is shan Queenshantrees dot com
Queenshantries dot com. So when people are going through becoming
an author, even there are some people that just desire
(42:37):
to become an author, but they've had some life experiences
that are discouraging them. What advice I know you said,
just do it. Any thought or tips on what you
can share with people that would help them really get
to the other side of that mountain.
Speaker 2 (42:55):
So example, I had someone say that they would love
to write their life story, but they don't want to
use names, they don't want to bring up old trauma,
they don't want to involve other people, they don't want
to hurt other people by their story. So my advice
would be to still write it, but maybe use different characters,
because you have to set yourself free, like you can't
(43:17):
continue to sit on that pain, and if it's coming
to you with revelation on to write a book about it,
and then that's for a reason. So whichever way that
you have to go with writing that book, maybe use
a different names, different characters. But I would say release
it in due time.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
I love that too, because a lot of people are
I know. I can only speak for myself that I've
been so concerned about how I say what I say. Yeah,
make sure I don't be I want to always be
mindful of everyone, even if it's somebody that I don't like,
you know what I mean, Not that I don't like
because I actually love all everybody, but that don't like me,
(43:56):
is what I mean. Just take I don't like everybody,
don't get me wrong, but I do love all of
God's people. And that's even people that I may not like.
God still loves them. So who am I to determine
that they shouldn't be loved, you understand, right, because of
an incident. So I'm always trying to be very mindful
of how my story intertwined with somebody else's story and
(44:22):
impact it can have on them, right, right, Is that
what you recommend people do in these.
Speaker 2 (44:28):
Situations, Yeah, because you don't want the books to bring
more harm than purpose, right, you know. So that's what
I wanted to That's what I was convicted of at
the end, Like oh no, for me writing from a
place of still in it and writing for me a
place out of it. I had to change a lot,
not a lot, but I had to, you know, take
(44:49):
some stuff out like ooh girl, you sound bitter, Like
ooh oh, no, you're not there anymore. Like this don't
even deserve any attention. This doesn't even deserve to be
brought up anymore. So it was such a good moment
for me to go through it while still being in
it and then versus being healed, like oh yeah, no,
we're not even gonna talk about that. That sounds shady,
(45:09):
that sound bitter, like we're not there anymore, We're not
I love it, And the Holy Spirit was convicting me
of that as well, like Nope, that's not what I
told that's not what we're here for. We're here for
to be the shadow of healing purpose that you don't
have to be bitter after a divorce. You don't have
to be sitting brokenness because you're in a dark season
(45:31):
that you know that you can overcome anything if you're
intentional about putting the work in. That's scared and that's
what I felt your isolation season. Like sometimes the Holy
Spirit will be nudging at us that like it's time
for growth, it's time for you to change, and will
miss our moment, Like I'm glad that I didn't miss
my moment and that bitterness and overshadow because I never
(45:52):
wanted to be the angry black woman that's just everywhere
she goes, she just into it with somebody cussing and fussing.
I didn't want to be that, Like that's my worst fear.
So I'm like, if I have to sit down, if
I have to be celibated, if I have to do therapy,
if I have to forgive people that deserve not to
be forgiven, if I have to forgive without a genuine apology,
then that's what I'm gonna do because I don't want
(46:13):
to be that. I don't want to block my blessings.
I don't want to sit in it because forgiveness is personal.
That's strictly for me, Like, I'm not going to allow
anyone to block my blessings. So it's like it's either
now or never. What are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (46:28):
God? I fully endorsed that's like a public service announcement everyone,
everything that Shan Trees Marshall just said. I fully endorse it.
That we are not about to be bitter at any
phase of our journey as much as we can get
on the other side of it. I shared a message
called bitter not bitter, Better not bitter. Let us get
(46:50):
bad at woman, Yes, And that's that's so necessary for
us as women to figure out, even if we can
get resources like this, how we can it better instead
of dwelling and waddling in bitterness. Because it doesn't serve anybody.
So you talk about a faith walk and how important
(47:11):
it is to have complete trust and confidence in the
in God's process. I would love you to just talk
a little bit more about the faith walk and yeah,
and ultimately how I do see you. I do see you, girl,
I see. Even when they say that they're saying it
in a dating nasty you know, I see you, I
(47:35):
see you seeing me. I see, But that's not seeing
you talking about.
Speaker 2 (47:41):
So talking about walk, you said you want to know
what about it?
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Oh? I was just saying here in the faith walk,
you said, it's hard to put trust or faith into
the unknown. If feels like relying on an imaginary friend
to save you when you're drowning. The uncertainty makes it
difficult to let go and believe. But in order for
us to really be healed and seen, then you have
to have some level of faith. What kind of faith
(48:09):
walk did you have as you were going through your
healing process?
Speaker 2 (48:14):
My faith was just like why am I going through this? Like?
How is this working for my good? Yeah? That's ascription,
but it's not so. I think we all have to
build our own faith muscle, and you don't built that
by it. You can't build that by not going through things,
not going through the darkness, not going through the unknown.
Like that's faith is an individual base, right, somebody can
(48:39):
tell me, oh, yeah, I went through this, I had
no faith and I had faith of a mustard tea. Right,
it happened. But it's like I have to go through
it in my own so once just going through that
and seeing getting on the other side and see that
it did work for my good. Now I have more
faith to go through the next thing in life and
the next thing. You know.
Speaker 1 (48:59):
Yeah, And God equips us with everything we need and
he won't put more on us than we can handle
or even in bear. So if we're dealing with it
for some kind of reason, we're able to We're able
to handle it.
Speaker 2 (49:11):
And it does feel unbearable when you're going through it.
It feels very unbearable.
Speaker 1 (49:17):
Absolutely. Yes, other people's story can Okay, Yes, yes, I
see you miss Jay's unfiltered talk showing podcasts. You said, yes,
other people's stories can be a personal breakthrough for you. Yes,
it can, and I see.
Speaker 2 (49:32):
I read a lot of books before, you know, while
going through it, Like I read Arnetta's book about her
going through her divorce, and that was very good. I
used to watch a lot of podcasts, a lot of interviews,
and everything was just like motivating, Like I stayed in
my lane, Like I think people need to stay in
their lane whatever you're going through, to pour into yourself.
(49:54):
Some mine was just self help books, podcast interviews, Like
for anybody that went through it that can show me
the way and how to overcome it. It does make
it easier when you're using somebody else's life as a guide.
It does.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Yeah, I did the same thing shantries. I would lay
in the bed and I was like, by myself, I'm
like I need some help, and my counselor is not
available as often as I need the help I'm talking about.
I need you get on this phone now do you
see me calling? And don't get me wrong, my counsel
is incredible. So I believe first of all that everybody
should have some level of counseling, even if it's a maintenance,
(50:34):
not because just something's wrong. But what I did do
was I looked at a lot of I found some
I just did a Google search and ended up finding
this YouTube channel filled with stuff that was stuff that
I personally had just gone through and it became almost
like a counseling session for me. I was like, oh,
that's me. What was your answer? How did you deal
(50:57):
with that?
Speaker 2 (50:58):
Right? How did you get through? Girl? Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1 (51:00):
And it helped me.
Speaker 2 (51:01):
So important for women to share their stories.
Speaker 1 (51:05):
Well, I'm glad that you shared your story. And do
you see me because I feel like you're my girlfriend
and we're just chatting and we could talk a whole
lot much deeper. But one thing I really admire, and
tell me if I'm wrong, because I read the book,
you don't mention his And we're not going to do
it on the show since you didn't do it in
the book. But you didn't mention his name. Did I?
(51:26):
Did I miss that you?
Speaker 2 (51:27):
No? No, I would never do that. We share.
Speaker 1 (51:34):
You know, you're doing something whenever you can go and
write a whole book with how many pages in this book?
Ninety two pages in this book, y'all, and she is
telling her story. I'm talking about like pouring her soul
out in this book with some deep, dark secret stuff
in here, and not one time mentioned dude.
Speaker 2 (52:01):
Yeah. Yeah, And that's when you know that you're better
and not better, you know. Yeah, But ye'all will do that.
We share a child, and it's just like we're not
in a space no more. You know, I'm on the
other side of forgiveness. You know, he has his life.
I have my life, and it's so need to Yes.
Speaker 1 (52:20):
I love this. I love it because I'm a big
believer to s entries that well, at least this is
what I told my ex husband. It's no way that
I want us to have to have you have a
baby shower and then after you're done and cleared the room,
I'll rent the same room and have a baby shower,
or you have a wedding, and then when y'all get
done with the wedding, we'll come and do the wedding,
(52:42):
or you have a funeral. It's like, are you kidding me?
Can't we just all get along?
Speaker 2 (52:46):
Right?
Speaker 1 (52:47):
We have these people that we're going to be with
for the rest of life, whatever phase of life you're in.
Come on you and all your people. It doesn't find
it doesn't find all y'all can come on you, your
baby mama, whoever, it doesn't matter, just all come together
so we can serve the common good of those individuals
(53:08):
that are impacted.
Speaker 2 (53:09):
Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, but that comes that
comes with maturity. Yeah yeah. And that's the thing of
not sitting in your pain and trauma because the only
person that affects you, so you have to make the
choice of like, doll, I want to sit here forever,
in this space, in this dark cloud, and it's like no,
(53:30):
it's so much life out here. It's way too life
out here.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
So now you also wrote the book I'm Not Cursed
and look at you with your gold head piece on
old baby gold. I'm not cursed or am I? That's
another book that Shantrese Marshall wrote as well. And what
did you want readers to walk away with reading this book?
Speaker 2 (53:52):
Oh, this is my first baby, my first book. Just
I want people to acknowledge their generational curses because we
all have them all we all have them. I want
you to acknowledge it. I want you to do the
work to change it. You know, it's so many people
(54:13):
that's just like this is who I am, this is
what it is. And then it's so many people that
don't even know, like they are not aware. It's like
you don't see the patterns, you don't see the people
that raise you, you don't see the mistakes you're making
now as a parent, like you're walking through life with
like blind just living in the moment. So I want
(54:33):
people to acknowledge what their generational curses. Aren't trying to
change it. But although this generation are really good at
doing better than what we was raised as, it's so
many people that are not right. Well, you are doing
the work to do counseling, do life coaching. TikTok is
so popular with people telling their stories and overcoming and
(54:55):
saying that, oh, yeah, I'm doing this different with my kids,
Like I love those type of videos. But it's some
people that will watch those videos grow and just like
that's you, not me. This is how I was right,
So this is how I'm doing it. So I think
that book is very relatable, very relatable.
Speaker 1 (55:16):
Very very good. Then it is very relatable because it
makes you think differently about what is even a curse?
What looks like? Does this curse look like? How do
we see it from a different set of lenses, because
sometimes we don't even know that it is a curse
because it's normal to us. Yes, so how do you
even know that it's a curse that needs to be broken?
Speaker 2 (55:37):
You know? Yeah, so many our people are sitting in
those patterns, in those ways, and you know, some of
the stuff are strong colds, like the enemy really does
have a strong hold on people, and it's just like
only prayer can get you out of that cycle. So
if you're living a life without God and a life
without prayer, then that's really going to be the results.
Speaker 1 (55:59):
That's good and that's good that you're highlighting that in
your book, both of your books. I think it really
speaks to generational curses. Because how you were talking about
do You See Me? And Dog I really wanted my
marriage to work. I wanted it to last. It was
what I thought was gonna happen. And still if you
look at your family. I'm not gonna go through every
part of the book because you got to get the book, y'all.
(56:21):
In the book, I mean, it's gonna be like you
don't want to put it down. So grab a copy
of Do You See Me? By Shantrees Marshall. And also
while you're getting a book, go ahead and get I'm
Not Cursed or Am I? By Shantrese Marshall and make
sure that you share it even if you're not dealing
with divorce, but someone else that you know is give
them a copy because they will be blessed. And you
(56:43):
can stay connected with Shantries right on Instagram at Queen
Underscore Shantries and then you can go to her website
Queenshantries dot com. So what's next for you? I see
some stuff like magazine covers going on with you.
Speaker 2 (57:00):
Oh what's the next? I would love to do my
third book. Okay, I'm looking at to take this some
acting classes before the end of the year.
Speaker 1 (57:10):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (57:10):
I want to continue to network and just continue to
push both books and whatever God has for me, I'm
ready to walk into it.
Speaker 1 (57:19):
Well. I think that whatever you choose to do, Queen,
You're going to accomplish it with some level of ease
or grace because God has graced you to get past
these obstacles and issues in your life to be able
to share your story and help other people get to
the other side. And the lady that's been commenting today,
I want to put it up here that she is
(57:40):
also going to be on the Kim Jacobs Show, and
so make sure you tune in for a special episode
this evening with her, and that you may be watching
it as a replay later don't worry about the date
if you're watching it as a replay and it's not
on this date that's on the screen. But get this
information navigating life's challenges with Charmagne Thompson. She's going to
be on The Kim Jacobs Show for a special episode
(58:02):
at a special time. Well, this has been very helpful. Okay,
let's see we almost at the conclusion here, but I
do want to take a moment to let you all
know that we have our tenth annual five K Walk
with Gabe's Heart Foundation, where every heartbeat counts, and we're
going to keep Gabe's heart beating by continuing to raise
funds for defibrillators to be put in public spaces where
(58:25):
young people congregate. Gabriel is my twelve year old son.
He'll be twenty two and so it's ten years that
he has transitioned from this earth. But we're doing everything
we can to allow more families to have more time
with their loved ones by put placing these defibrillators in
public spaces. So the five K Walk is on October
(58:47):
on October eighteenth, twenty twenty five, October eighteenth, and you
can go to Gabe'sheartfoundation dot org to learn more. And
if you are an organization and you would like to
donate funds for a defibrillator to be raffled at the
five k walk, We're going to be raffling off some defibrillators,
so if we're able to do that based on your contribution,
(59:09):
you can go to Gabshartfoundation dot org. We already have
a donation, so we're just asking you to match the
donation so we can raise enough funds to get multiple
defibrillators be able to be raffled. Okay, all right, any
closing comment shantries.
Speaker 2 (59:27):
No, thank you for your time. Thank you, Kim. I
appreciate you so much for just Poeurgner to me my
first book. It's always good to connect with you, and
thank you for everyone for so many in.
Speaker 1 (59:39):
You are amazing and I'm so honored to have to
host you on today. It's been an honor and a privilege.
And I thank you for going through my group training.
Anybody else that would like to take the group training
to start your own show. If you're an author or
a motivational speaker, you're someone that is an entrepreneur, you
should have a show you have a show, don't you
(01:00:01):
thank Centries?
Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
Yes, yes, And that's another thing as well, getting my
show up. I know we did the trend in some
time ago, but I was so focused on the book,
so I was mostit asking. But I would love to
revamp my life coaching because I kind of give it
out for free, and anybody that called me with advice
or anything, you know, I just whatever. But I would
(01:00:24):
love to revamp my life coaching, and I would love
to finally start my show war podcasts.
Speaker 1 (01:00:30):
And I'm excited about that for you because I knew
we were doing the books and everything that we were
working on, but and I know you want to be
on specific platforms, and you know all of the platforms
because you went through the training, so you know exactly
what to do to get this up and fully running.
But the way that our graduation page works too, is
any additional trainings that you need, I'll continue to offer those,
(01:00:53):
and then I have special school communities that specifically are
as follow up things for all of our grad as well. Okay,
so I'm excited about that. So you gotta you gotta go,
go go. It's time to rock and roll. It is yep,
no more excuses only results.
Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Oh no more, no more. When the last quarter of
this year and went, that's so fast. But yeah, it's
time to push. It's really time to push.
Speaker 1 (01:01:18):
But literally, the whole world, in my opinion, shuntries misses
out when we don't get our message out to the
world because it's specific gifts and talents that God's trusting
you with. That's like, that's your body of work.
Speaker 2 (01:01:32):
Yep.
Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
So I'm excited about it. If any of you are
interested in starting your own show as well, make sure
you reach out. You can reach out at Kim Jacob's
Show at gmail dot com, or you can call seven
oh four nine six' two seven one sixty one and
we'll make sure you are one of the five students
that we will be kicking our next training. Off all,
RIGHT i think this has been a wonderful. Experience was
there anything you didn't say that you really wanted to say? Today?
Speaker 2 (01:01:55):
Oh, NO i think that was.
Speaker 1 (01:01:57):
Everything oh, right all, right, Everybody thank you for tuning
into this. Episode thank you for being in the studio.
Audience let me go. BACK i see all of your
comments that's been coming in and over On instagram as.
Well thank you all so. Much for your active participation
today here on The Kim Jacob, show and we'll see.
You i'm actually going to see you for a special,
episode but we'll see you Again monday Through friday at
(01:02:18):
eleven O'CLOCK Am Eastern Standard, time right here on The
Kim Jacob. Show love you, All bye. Bye thank you
for tuning in to today's episode Of The Kim Jacob
show and for being in the virtual studio. Audience your
presence truly does make a, difference AND i look forward
to you bringing your friends and family to join you
in the virtual studio Audience monday Through friday at eleven
(01:02:39):
O'CLOCK Am Eastern Standard. TIME i look forward to seeing
you and make it a great. Day
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.