Finding Strength and Balance: A Conversation with Guiding Light's Nancy St. Alban

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi everybody, happy to have you here with me in the locker room.

(00:09):
I'm Alan Locker.
Nancy St. Alvin, beloved for her role as Michelle Bauer-Santis on Gotting Light, is here today
to reflect on her career, her lifelong dedication to dance and acting, and the unique journey
that led her to discover her love of yoga and wellness.
With over a decade of experience as a 500 hour certified yoga instructor, Nancy co-founded

(00:30):
our own studio Yoga Love, where she combines her deep understanding of body alignment and
mind body connection to help her students find both strength and serenity.
We'll also hear how Nancy is navigating a recovery right now from a recent, carotid artery injury.
Please help me welcome my friend Nancy St. Alvin to the locker room.

(00:52):
Hi, Nancy.
Hi.
How are you?
I'm well, good to see you.
Sorry I'm seeing you when you're suffering.
I don't like that at all.
No, we neither, but thank you for having me.
I bet.
I bet you don't like it.
How would you say you're feeling today?

(01:13):
You know, today it's mild.
I, the last couple days have been pretty good today a little bit more than the last few
days because I probably did too much.
It's very self-pleasing.
I had a lot of great time.
How did it happen?
Yeah, it happened on October 12th.

(01:33):
So it's almost a month, but I was misdiagnosed for 12 days.
So I didn't get treatment for 12 days.
So tell everybody, you know, sort of what you were feeling, what happened.
And how they finally found, you know, found it.

(01:54):
Because I mean, I think that happens so often with so many people of varying health issues
that we have that people are misdiagnosed.
And that's an unfortunate.
Absolutely, absolutely.
It has been quite a story.
So I started out with feeling some headaches, sort of like some migraine pain.

(02:20):
And I had taken a yoga class.
I take yoga regularly at my studio.
And I'd taken a pretty vigorous advanced yoga class.
So it's not, you know, that unusual for me to experience some headaches.
I get, you know, not every time, but sometimes, you know, I sweat a lot.

(02:41):
And if I'm dehydrated, if I haven't had enough water, I'd get a migraine.
And so I started to feel a little bit like during the day, a few hours, you know, I'd walked
my dog too, which is why I'm mentioning because I'm not really sure how it happened.
I didn't feel anything in particular, which apparently I'm told you can feel it when it

(03:03):
happens.
And I started getting this headache.
And my sister was in town from Chicago visiting.
And my other sister who lives just down the street, the three of us were walking together
in the park.
And I was like, "Oh, my head hurts a little."
So I just kept drinking water.
And I think I took some Tylenol.
And then later on, we went to dinner.

(03:24):
And it started to just hurt a little bit around my eye, but mostly still like a migraine in
my head.
And I went to dinner with them and I felt okay, my sister came back to my house.
She spent the night and I woke up the next morning with a really bad headache, like really
extreme.

(03:45):
And I felt really nauseous.
And I was like, "Oh, this isn't feeling right."
And I had to teach yoga that morning.
So I got up, took some Advil.
And, you know, I'm really...
Yeah.
And I looked in the mirror and my aunt, it was a little droopy.
So I was like, "Oh, that's weird."

(04:05):
You know, it almost looked like I had a stye.
And so, you know, I went on to teach my yoga class.
I was able to kind of get through it.
And as the day progressed, that I got a little droopy or a droopy or a droopy or a...
And then right before I was going to bed that night, I texted a picture of myself to my

(04:26):
sister.
And I put my head on the pillow, I started going to sleep.
And within five minutes, she called me back.
I do not disturb one and she broke through.
I do not disturb.
She's like, "I just showed the picture to my friend who's a doctor and you have to go to
the emergency room right away."
So I was like, "Oh, no."
And...

(04:46):
What did they...
That person think it was?
That doctor?
Well, they thought a stroke because your eye will droop with a stroke.
And also, like, Bell's pausing.
There are several things...
Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
...can cause that.
So I did go to the emergency room that night.
Unfortunately, they did a CAT scan to rule out, you know, anything in my head.

(05:11):
But they didn't do a CTA, which is a CAT scan with an angiogram for the neck.
Which is a big mistake and they didn't give me a neural e-thal.
They should have had a neurologist evaluate.
Because...
Well, I'll tell you that in a second.
So they told me I was having cluster headaches and sent me home.
And then I was supposed to have a follow-up for my doctor.

(05:32):
But the next day, the pain became much more extreme around my eye.
And I was like, "Oh, it just felt like pressure in my eye."
And so I made it...
Now point out with my eye doctor.
I made it point out with my primary care, too.
But I went to the eye doctor first.
And she did every test under the sun.

(05:53):
My eyes were fine.
I went on to the primary care doctor.
She kind of...
She's apologized since then.
She's a lovely doctor.
But she kind of just looked at what the ER said and went with that and wrote me a script for
steroids.
You've got cluster headaches.
And by the time I went to her, I was in so much pain.

(06:14):
I was crying.
I was just in tears.
And I just...
You know, I couldn't even probably explain what was happening.
So she...
Absolutely.
Those things.
So intense.
And so she sent me almost steroids.
And then three days into it, it wasn't getting any better.
So I thought...

(06:34):
And I was still practicing yoga, by the way, which I'm not supposed to do anything physical.
I was...
Because I was like, "That's the kind of person I am.
I'm really active and I'm not going to slow down."
Okay.
So my head hurts.
I take some Advil and I move through it.
And so I was taking yoga back.
So that...
It has been when he's sick or something.

(06:55):
He will always work out.
And I've started to do that.
But I usually...
Like if I'm sick, I'll lay down.
You know, I won't want to work out.
But I think sometimes powering through does help you feel better unless it is this, which
is a dangerous situation.
Exactly.
And certain circumstances powering through is good.

(07:15):
Sometimes, you know, it depends on the sickness, right?
Yeah.
And so...
Yeah.
I...
The three days in, I mean, the steroids were supposed to be for five days.
And so I'm three days in.
And I'm self-diagnosed.
And by the way, I was googling like all day long.
And every time I'm googling, it was coming up cluster headaches or a sinus infection.

(07:36):
So I knew at this point that I didn't have an autoimmune because it would have gotten
better with steroids.
And so I immediately called the doctor and I was like, "I need the number of an ENT.
I must have a sinus infection."
Like, I got to have something else wrong with me.
It's not...
It's steroids aren't helping.

(07:56):
So then I went that Friday, I think, that was telling me like that.
So an ENT, sinuses were fine.
And at that point, I started to panic.
And I was really worried.
And I knew I needed to get to a neurologist.
And it's really hard, of course, to get an appointment with any doctor, you know?
So that was like the end of the week on Friday.

(08:18):
I got an appointment with a neurologist on Tuesday.
She canceled.
I was like, "Oh my God, so that I'm begging the office, please, please, please get me another
appointment."
I got to get in.
So they were able to squeeze me in Wednesday.
And I went into her Wednesday.
I literally said two sentences to her.
And she said right away, "You have a crotted artery dissection.

(08:41):
You got to go to the ER right away.
We've got to get some further testing and maybe admit you and blah, blah, blah, blah,
et cetera, et cetera."
So then became the journey of they did the CTA.
She was very, that's what I was going to say before.
She was furious that the first emergency run visit didn't get me a neurologist to evaluate

(09:04):
and didn't do a CTA.
She thought it was really outrageous because why wouldn't you check the neck?
And it's very hard to talk.
It's so scary.
It is scary, you know, one thing that they could miss.
And...
Well, and the scary part, what she was so angry about is this particular injury, although

(09:27):
very, very rare, it has a high risk of stroke in the first two weeks.
Extremely high risk.
And I was 12 days in by the time I got to her office.
So she was like, "Oh my God, you know, we've got to get you in blood thinners.
We've got to make sure you don't have a clot.
Luckily I didn't have a clot."

(09:48):
And they gave me medicine right away.
And so right now, you know, I have all these blood thinners to keep me from clotting.
And so I don't have a stroke, which is just super crazy.
And they had me on, and I'm probably, you know, will be a little ADD with you because they

(10:09):
have me on some nerve medication too, that makes me super forgetful and a little bit slower
than normal.
So what is the definition of the injury?
Can you, do you understand?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like obsessed when it comes to learning about stuff like this.
So this is an injury within the artery wall, and it's a tear.

(10:33):
So I basically tore the inside of the artery, which again, it's extremely rare.
And most often happens in car accidents occasionally with like bodybuilders, like if you who strain
a lot.
But the way the doctor explained it to me was she said, "It can happen when someone has
a horrible cough.

(10:54):
If you turn your head in the exact right position and then exert an immense amount of effort
like coughing or weight lifting or whatever it is, you can tear the artery."
These arteries are the only ones in our body that are not protected, like the ones in our
back, the spine and stuff are in our torso, rather they're, this spine protects them.

(11:18):
But these are very vulnerable, the arteries in the neck.
So movement, which is very, I'm not really supposed to move my neck very much right now for
six months.
And that's the other problem with this is that because there's always blood running
through it, from what I understand, I'm not a doctor.
I did play a PA on TV.

(11:40):
And my friends like to think I'm a doctor because I'm obsessed with medicine.
And then probably started on hiding light.
But the way I understand it is, you know, you spray your ankle and you can put your ankle
up, you know, and rest it.
The artery always has blood running through it.
So you can't just rest it.

(12:03):
It's always working, so it takes a really long time to heal, but it does heal.
So three to six months is the, after six months, they say it's not healed, then it's never
going to heal fully.
And it's just is what it is.
But around three months, knock on wood, hopefully it will heal.

(12:23):
But for now, I can't do anything, like literally.
Which I'm sure is really hard for you.
I mean, you know, you're a yoga instructor.
You love yoga for yourself.
I mean, that's, it's really, three months in comparison is worth every second of those
three months or six months just to heal yourself.

(12:48):
And I will say I had my follow up visit with the doctor today.
And actually I didn't get to see the doctor, which was a little frustrating.
I saw her nurse practitioner and she was amazing and she was emphasizing more the three
months mark.
But the doctor who I've seen and she is a vascular neurologist.

(13:08):
So this is her specialty and she's very conservative in her approach.
And the very first weekend when I left the hospital, they, I didn't get, I didn't get
very clear guidelines to what I can do and what I couldn't do.
That doctor that let me out of the hospital made me think that I could still do a little

(13:29):
bit of exercise that I could do some easy, this easy that.
So when you get to go in and taught, class the next day basically.
Yeah.
Because she did say that doctor did say that I could teach yoga as long as I didn't demonstrate
at all.
And I am able to do that.
A lot of yoga teachers can't do that.
I can, I know how to talk it.
And so that was not a problem.

(13:51):
But I went and I taught two yoga classes the next day, right after I got out of the
hospital.
And then I went to a friend's house who had a gathering that night and I hung out for a
little while.
I didn't move my neck a lot.
I was very careful.
But the next day I was violently ill.
The worst headache I ever imagined having and I couldn't stop vomiting all day long.

(14:13):
So it's a, it's a very self policing injury.
If you do too much, it, it flares.
And see, I already forgot my point of why I was bringing that up.
I mean, you do have to be your own best advocate for sure.
Yes.
Oh, no, yes.
And I just remembered.

(14:33):
I was saying that because.
So then that, that maybe called this doctor and I called her and when I got her on the
phone, she was like, you know, I was like, well, can I, you know, do gentle yoga?
Can I do small, this that she was like, no.
Absolutely.
No, no, no.
And she was like six months.

(14:54):
This is six months.
You can do nothing for six months, but walk.
So she was very firm, which I needed because I'm, I'm going to push boundaries.
And, but that was devastating.
So that was what was, yeah, that was the tears, you know, I had to really swallow that and
that was hard.
But today they're making it sound like it's more like three months and then between three

(15:16):
and six, that's when I can start a little bit of the more gentle kind of movement.
But I mean, really that's not a lot of time in comparison.
If you're going to be healthy, 100%.
100%.
I mean, Willis says Nancy looks beautiful, this fight.

(15:36):
I know because I still have a little bit of a droopy eye.
So I feel like I'm like, everyone's going to look a little.
I really can't.
Is there anything you could have done or anybody who gets this to prevent it?
No, not really.
I mean, it's, it's, again, it's a fluke.
This is a fluke that it happened.
I just got my neck in the exact right position either when I was walking my dog or maybe when

(16:00):
I was doing like a really challenging pose.
I did a back bend that day that was really challenging.
I didn't feel it.
So we're not really sure when it happened.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, sometimes you know, when you, yeah, you've done it, you know, of course, of course.
Right.
So, yeah.

(16:21):
So, and I will say with, you know, with what you're talking about, I mean, I almost like what
I struggle with right now is, and I keep saying this to my business partner.
I keep saying like it's so hard for me because this is not, you know, well, it is a life threatening

(16:41):
injury in the sense that I could have, you know, had a massive stroke and been really unlucky.
But I've been very lucky and it's not a life sentence, you know what I mean?
It's really like you said, it's a short amount of time.
So I had kind of re, you know, focused, shift my focus rather and look at my perspective in

(17:03):
a different way that I'm really lucky.
Like I'm super lucky.
It sucks and I, I hate, you know, taking any time off of my yoga practice and any time off
of being, you know, exercising, I was just as strong as I've ever been in my life recently.
Like literally, my body to me and I don't look at it, but I feel like a 28 year old, you

(17:25):
know, I feel strong.
And so, and that's hard.
You know, walking is great exercise.
So being able to still do that is a positive.
Yeah.
It is.
It is.
I haven't done a lot of that though because again, like I said, every time I do anything
too active, it starts and sites these headaches and they're not fun.

(17:45):
I had a similar thing in 2019.
I had gone on a business trip and I started to have a temple headache.
That's where my life is in my temple.
It was my temple.
No.
And one side of my head, my right side felt as if I had sunburned that part of my scalp.

(18:06):
That's what mine feels like now and that's so weird.
You're describing the exact maybe you did have something to your.
You should mention what I what they told me I had was giant cell arthritis.
Now granted, it could be very similar because for me, it was the blood vessels going to my
eye and I could be blinded in one eye if it and there's a.

(18:34):
So they I went I was on a business trip and because it wasn't going away, I had called my doctor
and I I forget what the doctor of the doctor thought I could have shingles.
They thought that about me too.
They sent me to the emergency room and they did a like a brain scan and blood test and

(18:57):
it was there's a sedimentation rate in your blood and normally once they put me on medication,
it was normally at two.
At this point, when I went to the emergency room, it was like at 60.
It was like a ridiculous and and the you know, so the thread of being blinded, you know,

(19:21):
by something in your eye and they put me on sort of a steroid medication, sort of like
a what you get for diabetes, I had to give myself an injection once a week for almost two
years through the pandemic.
And when the pandemic hit shortly into the pandemic, you you you were hearing stories about

(19:43):
what medications they were giving patients and they were giving that medication because
it was a steroid for the lungs.
Wow.
You know, yeah, it was a scary thing like I had no idea like it was a random.
It was the temple and I felt like my was sun burned, but it was a blood vessel going to,

(20:03):
you know, well, it's.
Well, it's interesting.
So what's interesting about that, okay, that's that's very interesting.
So what what has been explained to me is the carotid artery is right next to the cranial
nerve.
So it's it sends messages to the cranial nerve, which creates exactly.
So that's probably why it's very similar to what you experience because I didn't have

(20:26):
this sensitivity to my scalp until about a week in and then it felt like if I tapped my
scalp, it felt like it was bruised.
But if I touched it, it wasn't bruised.
But if I tapped it, I'm like, oh my God.
And then my eye and my temple are what hurt the most.
Initially, it started on the whole forehead, but it moved to my eye and temple.
But the so you probably had a very similar thing.

(20:47):
Your cranial nerve was reacting.
Yeah.
So that's actually a syndrome.
It's actually called a syndrome.
I forget what it's called.
And so you just have to figure out the cause.
And so there's different causes when you have that syndrome, which is interesting.
It was it was crazy.
Tell me about taking to Instagram to share your, you know, because your your business partner

(21:12):
suggested it, you know, to help you deal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, it felt like it would be healing.
I don't know that it was.
But I thought, you know, by speaking here, by doing it on Instagram, I mean, go through

(21:33):
these things.
Absolutely.
And again, it feels like I said, I struggle with this feeling of being completely normal.
Like my body is completely normal, right?
I have some headaches.
I have some weird pain of my neck and head.

(21:55):
But other than that, everything's normal.
So it feels almost like I felt like I'm faking like my, you know, obviously the pain reminds
me that I'm not, but you know what I mean?
It's like it's not a typical injury where you can see the information or you mean you
are seeing my eye a little bit droopy or but in some days worse than others, right?

(22:18):
Some days my eye looks really normal.
So, but it's not like, wow, you know, Nancy has this so she can't do this.
If like anyone who saw me would be like, oh, there's something wrong with her, you know?
And other than I'm moving like I'm 80 years old because I'm nervous.
I'm a little nervous about it.
I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to, and play that or whatever the word is.

(22:43):
So I think that was part of the feeling of why I wanted to go on Instagram.
I wanted to talk about it a little bit.
I also wanted to talk about right away when this happened and I got emotional.
I immediately started to come back to my yoga philosophy that I've learned.
And I started to see, well, my business partner, she was, she was the first one to say to me.

(23:07):
I was already thinking it, but she said she goes, okay, there's some lessons here.
What are the lessons, you know?
What are the lessons?
And so I already started to look at the lessons and there was a million of them coming at me.
And so that's what I initially thought on Instagram, I would talk a little bit about what
this felt like to feel almost like I was faking.

(23:27):
And that, and I wanted to talk about the lessons that I am understanding and learning and maybe
that would help somebody else or just, you know, that's sort of the reason why I am a
yoga teacher is because I do love the philosophy behind yoga and I want to help people.

(23:49):
It's literally what I would do to yoga.
Say it again.
Who introduced you to yoga?
Oh, George Alvarez.
Isn't that funny?
Oh, hey.
Father Ray.
I didn't realize that.
Isn't that funny?
Yeah.
And by the way, George was coming regularly to my studio for the last couple of days.

(24:10):
Is it live nearby?
I know he's up in that.
He's not super close by.
He's maybe 15, 20 minutes though.
Not that far.
Not that far.
He hasn't been coming recently, but he was coming for a while.
Was this at guiding light that he introduced yoga to you?
Yes.
He would start to do yoga in the green room, or wherever he used to do our rehearsals in

(24:35):
the morning.
And then I was always asking, like, what?
Tell me, George, what is that?
I want to, you know, so he would sort of do yoga with me a little bit.
And then he took me to my first, I think it was my first yoga class that I think it was
to do the loop-dee, yeah, on the upper east side.
It was just kind of funny, right?

(24:57):
And yeah, so, yeah, George and I would practice a little bit together.
And then he came to my classes and my practice class all the time.
I mean, he must feel pretty proud of introducing you and seeing this business you created.
I think so.
I think he is.
I think, well, yes, I don't think so.

(25:19):
He was part of, so he also came when my partner and I used to teach at different studio.
He started coming there first.
So he was actually one of the influences on me opening a studio.
He was really like supportive of it.
And he also came up with the name, to be honest with you.
He said something about love yoga, we switched to yoga love, but that was his idea too.

(25:44):
Isn't that funny?
That's amazing.
So how did Shannon and you come together?
So Shannon was my teacher.
She was my teacher.
And she was the first person that I had taken a class with who sort of spoke the physical

(26:05):
language that I understood.
And I was like, oh, she's good.
She knows what she's doing.
I come from dance background and then I did Pilates for years, years, years, years.
And so technique is like super important to me.
And so you would take a yoga class and there's a lot of people who can lead a decent yoga class,

(26:28):
but they don't teach you how to do yoga.
So you can go for years and years and years and do yoga and not really know you're doing
it right.
Not really get any better at the technique physical part of yoga.
Yoga is so much more than the physical, right?
But at the time, I didn't know anything other than the physical.
That was the only reason why I was doing it.

(26:49):
I didn't get any of the mental benefits from it at that point.
And then I met Shannon and started taking her class.
And she just, you know, was having the same kind of similar alignment cues that I was
used to hearing that I related to and I started to get better.
Well, suddenly I became really good at yoga.

(27:10):
It was from what she was teaching.
So it was cool.
That's amazing.
What's been the best part of opening your own studio?
For me, you know, and I've been teaching yoga for a little more than 10 years now.
And it is similar to performing in the sense that if you, in the way that we do it, in the

(27:32):
way that we do it at our studio, because we try to create an experience, like an arc from
beginning to end.
And we have like really specific music that we play.
We very specific warm up so that when you leave, right?
You should feel complete.
You feel really good, hopefully.

(27:54):
That's the idea at the end of a practice.
And so for me, there's a, believe it or not, and it's hard for beautiful to understand
and I was the same way when I used to take a yoga class.
You never imagine that it's actually really challenging to teach yoga class.
There's a lot of variables and things that you're doing while you're teaching a class.

(28:16):
You know, you're controlling, in our studio, you're controlling heat, you're controlling
music, you're controlling the dynamic, you know, of your voice, you're controlling the
pace of the class, you're controlling how you're teaching and physically helping people
that you see in the room, you're adjusting.
And it is like stressful.
Like it's a little like, you know, nerve wrecking a little bit.

(28:39):
Like you have to like be on your game and really mentally right there.
You have to be like the executive producer.

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And Syracuse was great. I loved it. It was great, great training, great teachers. The dance
program when I was there, when I started, it wasn't that strong. It got better because
we got really great teacher who came in and taught us, but that wasn't the primary

(33:35):
focus, you know, musical theater. You were trying to sort of do all three. And it was really,
it was great training. I mean, I had, you know, well, there's a lot of stories because
my high school experience that I had, I performed a lot of theater. And so I had a lot of experience,

(33:58):
more experience than most kids going into college. And that's like, if I could go back,
they always ask you, what would you change if you go back now? I wish that I owned that
experience because I was like way ahead of the kid, not as not in talent. I don't mean to
say that. I mean, you know, I'll let somebody else do that. Yeah, I'll have a lot of experience.

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And I went into college thinking, you know, I was very insecure and I didn't own that. And so I
wish that I had because I think that would have changed my college experience somewhat, but I
had great training from Syracuse. It was, it was amazing. Great teachers. I've never been

(34:44):
thinking about Syracuse. I've had many friends. Did you think you'd like, was Broadway your aspirations?
Like, yeah, yeah, I was, that's what I was set out to do. And I got like a commercial agent. I was
like, what are commercials? People, people actually get paid to do that. Like, you know,

(35:04):
and then you learn they got paid some good money. Oh, yeah. It was crazy. And I started doing commercials.
And they were, it was, it was so much fun. And I started to realize that I liked being behind the
camera. It was something that I could do easily. And I had no idea. I mean, that's not true. I did do
commercial when I was in high school. I did do one. It was really bad. But, so I had a little bit of

(35:31):
experience. And then I started to, you know, really enjoy the, I could, I can sell anything. I don't
know why. Like, I can buy into a product and sell it. It's like, you know, that was like easy for me.
So, and then I would go to these Broadway additions. And it was, it was me and another girl.

(35:52):
Always down at the end of the line. It was always me and another girl and me and another girl. And
she, the other girl always had a Broadway credit. And I didn't have the Broadway credit. So they
want the other girl. And so many times I had big casting directors that would say, hey, you should do
TV and film. Why don't you do TV and film? I'd be like, I want to do this. Why are you saying that?
Like, it was so frustrating that they would say that. But then that, you know, then I did start to do

(36:19):
a little bit more, you know, film before guiding light. And then, and then guiding light came along.
And then, you know, wow. Do you have a favorite stage role or musical you did in, you know,
Syracuse or at the school in Baltimore?
I mean, I'd be embarrassing for me to tell you the truth. I really love the sound of music.

(36:44):
That's many people's favorite. And I still wish I could play Liesel.
But no, I loved, I mean, I played Gigi and I loved playing Gigi. I mean, I've had a lot, I've had a lot
of great, you know, stage experiences. But I think my film experiences were like the hallmark

(37:12):
hall of fame movie I did was probably the best experience I've ever had. And that was, that was pretty
incredible. That was a musical? It was not a musical now. But it was shot in Ireland and it was with,
you know, Brenda Fricker, who won the Academy Award for my left foot. And I remember Patrick

(37:33):
Bergen, who was in Sleeping with the Enemy with Julia Roberts. He played her husband. He played
my father in this movie. And there was always really famous Irish actors. And it was super, super
cool. That was like, it was great. It was good to travel for, like, yeah. Yeah, I by the way,
Tyler, it was so cool. Thank you.
Take me back. What do you remember in 2000, your audition, Rob DeCena, screen test?

(38:02):
Yes, I remember very good. You were watching Soaps. I don't remember.
Yes, I grew up watching General Hospital. Okay. Yeah. And most of the EVC Soaps,
but General Hospital was the show that I loved. And then in like after college, I would watch

(38:22):
Days of Our Lives, I watched. Yeah. And so that's why the big funny stories, the first time at the
Emmys, the first year, I was like, you know, the third row, because I was presenting that that year.
And I remember being so excited seeing, you know, Tony Geary up there and a couple of, and then like,

(38:43):
I heard the characters name on Days of Our Lives. But I think I was like, so excited. My husband's
like, stop. You're one of them. Stop. Because I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I have to contain myself.
Yeah, it's a big deal. Yeah, it is a big deal. And I do remember my audition with Rob. I

(39:06):
don't remember a lot, but I remember my first audition with Rob. I remember being in his office
and reading with him. And I remember the screen test really, really, really vividly.
You know, I was so nervous. There's 13 girls, I think. And they were all like gorgeous. And I was like,

(39:33):
oh, my God, I'm like, I'm so plain Jane compared to all these girls. And I was so, so nervous.
But Paul was great. He was great to read with. So supportive.
Yeah. And I also remember, I know I've told the story probably a thousand times, but
that, you know, I loved soap. So don't, so I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way. But when you,

(39:58):
when you go to drama school, like I did, you, you know, soaps were kind of something you kind of look
down upon. Like, you know, and it's, and now after doing them, it's not that you, you always think that
they're, they're not very good actors, but it's, they get the pages that I before. It's really a lot
to figure out how to deal with. And in some soaps, I think guiding light, we were lucky. We had really

(40:21):
strong actors. I don't think all soaps did. And so the day before I got the call for this audition,
I was talking to one of my best friends, Pete. And I remember him saying, "Would you ever do a soap?"
I'm like, oh, no, never. And then the next thing my agent called was like, oh, you've got this
audition with guiding light. I was like, oh, okay, okay. So, you know, you live in your learn.

(40:45):
Yeah, absolutely. Did you and Paul hit it off immediately?
Yeah, yeah. I mean, I felt like we did. I would hope he said everything. I mean, you know,
I mean, I'm pretty easy going and I'm also like, you know, whatever Paul said, when I first met him
the first year, I was like, whatever you say, I'll do. I don't care. Whatever, you know, you could have

(41:09):
told me that I know God knows what. I was just like, okay, sure. But he was, you know, he was a great,
great co-star. Like, he was, you know, always supportive. In fact, he was hesitant the very first day on
set when I had to like do this in the script. It said to scream, you know, like bloody murder scream,

(41:31):
you know, when she has the miscarriage. And, you know, it's against every instinct in an actor's body
to scream when it doesn't really come from an offended place. True Paul. Yeah, true Paul. And it wasn't
really fitting in the dialogue in that moment to scream. And I remember, oh my God, this felt awful

(41:53):
trying to figure out how am I going to make this scream realistic? Like, and so he really didn't step
up that particular day to tell me that because he didn't know me well enough. Like, you don't have to
do that, you know. And so I went ahead into this silly scream that, you know, is the first thing with
people Google they see, you know, that's my day that comes up. And the next day he was like, well,

(42:13):
I wouldn't have screamed if I were you. I was like, what do you mean? I didn't have to.
Why didn't you tell me that? That was your first day miscarriage.
Yep. That's crazy. I love it.
They're right. They're a little friar. Yeah, they really do. Thinking of that response to your friend
about, you know, sort of not wanting to do so. How do you feel having done it for five years?

(42:39):
Longer than five, but yeah, yeah, almost almost six, I guess, right? I feel like, you know,
I'm so glad I'm obviously I'm so glad that I did. It was such a great time in my life. And I know
it was it's interesting because it was such a small little blip for a guiding light, but I felt like

(43:02):
I was, you know, a part of that guiding light family. Like that was I felt like I was really
you were the last to play Michelle Bauer. So that is, which I know, yes.
Huge, that that is a huge part of history there as well. Yeah. Yeah. So when, you know,
when guiding light sort of moved on without us, and that always that was really the hardest time in my

(43:28):
life. I remember feeling really saddened by the fact that how unimportant I was really to that
to that show. At least that's what it felt like, you know, especially with, you know, being fired
the way Paul and I were. I was really I still have a lot of angry feelings about that. Like if I

(43:50):
were to talk to Ellen Wheeler, I might not say a lot of nice things to her now. And I was really nice
to her back then because I wanted to take it with grace and I wanted to take it with dignity. And I
think I would have reacted to me now would have reacted very differently back then because she,
you know, I can be really honest now because I don't have anything to worry about, but she really

(44:15):
betrayed me. She called me when I was home on maternity leave and started asking me questions. I
didn't get it. I was been like pregnancy fall brain and started asking me questions like would I be okay
if the show was no longer there? And, you know, she started like, she was trying, I guess she was

(44:39):
testing the water to see like if she could fire me. And maybe that is kind of her in a way she was
trying to see how strong I was because I was like, oh, I'd be fine. I was like, you know, my ego was
trying to like, and then I told that to Paul, and I'll never forget Paul's like, what? She said,
what to you? Like, and I totally didn't read into it. He totally got the message. And then it was

(45:03):
not too long later where she, you know, let me go at a time where I just bought a house and she knew I
was buying house. I just had a baby. She knew I had a baby. It was just the worst time you could ever do
that to somebody. And it wasn't like Paul and I weren't popular on the show. Oh my god. I mean,
that, yes, I mean, correct. Yes. So it was, yeah. You know, decisions like that I didn't fully,

(45:33):
you know, I know a lot of this was money, but like, yeah. You know, Michelle Bauer is not somebody you get
rid of. I mean, as much as, you know, I love Paul Anthony, I can see the show doing Danny Santos
before I can see them doing Michelle Bauer. Together, you were an incredibly popular couple. I didn't get

(45:57):
how they did it at all. Yeah. Well, I think from what I understand, and I made you probably know
way more about this than I do, but from what I understand it, I think they were trying to do that first.
They were trying to separate Michelle and Danny so that they could fire one of us and not both,
you know, but the fans liked us together and they didn't like Michelle, anybody else. And so I think

(46:25):
they realized they had no choice. And so, you know, I get it. I do understand that
they're bigger, you know, things to worry about than the actors and their families. You know, like,
you and I grew up as a fan of that show and you know, they had done that too. And as the world turns
character when I was a fan, and it was the only time I ever called up in an upward because it was

(46:49):
basically like firing Michelle Bauer. That, that young actor was a part of this family on that show.
And so to me, it's like, how can you get it? But then as I became an executive and work day,
where I understood it has nothing to do with the actor, you know, but there are other ways to do things.

(47:10):
You know, I just, you know, I don't think legacy characters like a Michelle Bauer should be
right the canvas. I mean, you know, you know, when they killed your mother,
you know, it was an outrage, you know, people, you know, it was great story, but it definitely,

(47:31):
you know, and some of the fans are writing here that Ellen killed G.L.
You know, I definitely don't agree with that. I definitely don't believe any executive producer comes
to kill a show, you know, no, I don't think she did it on purpose. But I mean, I think, yeah, I think all
these things, bad decisions, yeah, I think all these things are the, you know, the nature of this

(47:57):
business in general. So it's not just guiding light and it's not just Ellen Wheeler. However,
I do think Ellen came in with very specific tactics and looking back on it. She had very specific
manipulative, scarcity, tactics, if you will, in that first thing she did was fire grant Alexander.

(48:22):
So every actor on the show went, oh my god, and we all started worrying about our jobs, you know,
you don't fire grant Alexander. What do you know what do you know what I mean? And then she started
promoting people in the office who were not, they were not eligible to be promoted to certain positions,
they were getting promoted to. So they were drinking the Kool-Aid going, oh, she's really good. She

(48:44):
knows what she's doing. So you know what I mean? She was manipulating people to stand behind her
and her choices that she was making. And she was making choices that I agree with whoever said that.
I don't think they were good for for GL. I don't think she had any intentions. I think she was trying to
save GL. I think she had, she had every, I think she was being creative. I think she was really

(49:09):
came in with a lot of enthusiasm. I think she wanted to say that show. I believe that in my heart of
hearts. That's why I mean, right? There's not an intent to, yes, decisions get made firing grant,
firing you guys absolutely. I don't think she was the only thing. I really don't think she communicated
well. Like to do what she did to you is not how you communicate. Yeah, no, it was, it was really,

(49:35):
really wrong. And it put me in a really bad place with my family at the time. You know, again,
I pretended it didn't. But it really was a bad moment and created that many years of
strife and stress for my family because we had been in this position that, you know, it's a long,

(49:57):
you know, it's a long story, but it was, it was a little bit. I look back now and I,
I've lived in mind, meeting her face to face one day and telling her that.
Yeah, I get that. I get that. I mean, I think there's many people who probably feel that very same thing.
Yeah, yeah, and fans who are writing here. So let's go back. Tell me what comes to mind. You know,

(50:23):
think about, you know, have you talked to Paul? Yeah, yeah. We keep in touch, Paul and I, you know,
we haven't seen each other as much as we used to since the pandemic. It's sort of like it kind of,
he doesn't leave up state, which is, doesn't mean we do. Someone have lunch with me a couple months
ago. We had a really great lunch together and he looks amazing and I mean, I love Paul. He will

(50:48):
always be one of my dearest closest friends. Like we lived through something together that
just will bond us forever. And I mean, I literally have so much love for him and I think he feels the same.
I know he does. He's a good, good egg. I miss it, you know, I wish, I wish it wasn't so far off state.

(51:09):
I know, I know, I know. I think I said I'm last year or from my birthday on the dance floor. I think we
all went out, but it's been a while. Yeah. You know, it's not close by. I'm
a little donger Santiago. What comes to mind? Oh my god, Sandy. I love Sandy so much. I've been reading her

(51:31):
her funny political. Me too. I stand with Sandy. She's amazing. She's amazing. She's not a
rage. But horrible for fans that don't know, but I mean, she was sort of verbally attacked on the street.
Oh yeah, that was terrible. That was terrible in New York. And I don't even know how that person

(51:53):
knew her political stance or how that, but she was very much attacked on the street of New York,
which was awful. Yeah, no, that's terrible. I know. Sandy does not deserve that. She's such a good
person. And she was also one of my other really dear, dear friends from Gotting Light. You know,
Ivana and I were really close for a little while too. Ivana used to come take yoga from me as well.

(52:18):
Now she's doing her own amazing things. I know. I would love to go see her farm. I know. It looks so,
I know. It looks so beautiful. I know. I missed, you know, her kids moved on to college as mine,
or now in college. So, you know, one day we'll get back together again. I know. I didn't say it,

(52:39):
because you and I have just been talking, but it's 24 years ago that you joined Gotting Light.
So insane. So insane. And now have three kids, which you didn't have then. Yeah, no, right. I know.
Yeah, I got my oldest is 20 now. So she's insane. 2019. That's Frankie, right?

(53:01):
Frankie, yeah. Yeah. Any of them following your mom's footsteps?
Well, Frankie is in a heavy metal band. She's a performer. But it's a crazy, crazy heavy metal. She's
into like hardcore. And she's on tour. She's, you know, in her senior year of college right now,

(53:24):
but she's going to graduate early and she's been on tour for like the years. So she goes back and forth
to school and, you know, begs her professors not to fail her so that she can be on tour.
One of the things that your daughter looks like a young Michelle Santos. Do you like heavy metal?

(53:45):
I liked the heavy metal of, you know, the 1980s '90s. Her style, so they have very talented musicians
in her band. So I really appreciate it. I appreciate the musicianship. It is not my style of music.

(54:06):
But I, in fact, I took my sister to see her play when she was playing in New Jersey. And I've seen her
play now a few times. So I, you know, smiling and enjoying her. Well, she plays all over and,
you remember where it was in Teresay? It was, yeah, shoot. I'm going to forget what I was called.

(54:29):
It was not far. It was not far. It was near you, but it was more in an area where they'd play heavy
metal. What's the name of the band? Slamwich. Slamwich. That's a great name. I love that.
Yeah. And so I took my sister and I'm like smiling away and I look back. My sister's like,
like she, her jaw was on the ground. I said, oh yeah, I forgot. There's a bit of an adjustment here, you know.

(54:58):
That's amazing. Let's Danny Cosgrove. Oh, Danny. I saw him in the city a few times when I was still
auditioning. I have not seen or heard from him in a really long time. I loved, I mean, he and I had
so much fun together. The most amount of laughs. I remember the very first time I met him. I remember

(55:21):
he made a joke that was so not funny. And I remember thinking like, okay, it's weird. What is
open that? Why does he have such a weird sense of humor? Like it didn't make sense. And then,
you know, to know him is to love him. Like he just is the most human. Oh, the funniest, kindhearted,
light, you know, just loving, just such a great, great person. So much fun. I think you shared a story

(55:46):
to digest about shooting the scene where you were sleeping with him and Paul and you were
cracking up. Cracking up. And then I went home to my husband. I'm like, I got to kiss Danny Cosgrove.
Danny, he's like, my husband's like, what do we, girlfriends here? I don't understand. I'm worried.
I was like, oh, sorry, sorry, I forgot. For God, I can't pretend I like that.

(56:08):
That is so funny. I love that. He's so cute. So just sweet art. Oh, God, yeah. Totally, totally, totally.
Your brother, Mike Gallow, who I saw probably two or three weeks ago.
Mikey, yes, Mikey, and we do keep in touch too. I need to see him. Like,

(56:32):
that's his laugh too. That's another one. He does. He, well, he likes to, he doesn't forget his old
tired jokes. He'll just keep bringing them up over over again. You know, like he likes to make fun of
when I got fired on guiding light because I'm using because she was like, just telling me what was

(56:54):
going to happen with Michelle. And she's going to be moving to California. And all of a sudden,
she didn't really say your fire. She just started saying where Michelle's going.
Well, that doesn't mean about communication. Unfortunately, that is not how you
lead. Right. Yeah. I remember me like, and so Mikey loves to tell that story.
Oh, where am I going? Really? When do we go? Are we on location?

(57:16):
Okay.
Get on, Mikey. Yeah, he's good boy. You want Mikey? He's doing really well.
Yeah, he is. He's actually moving, I think. So I did not know that. Yeah.
Got married. Very happy. He's getting, I think. They just, no, no, maybe, no, I don't think they're

(57:40):
going to. Okay. Michelle says her son is looking into the band since we told her the name.
It's very hardcore and warning people. So you gotta have a stomach for that.
All my children, did you have a short role there?

(58:01):
A little small stint. You know, it was like, you know, but you grew up on ABC. So what was that like?
No, that was cool. That was exciting. Was there somebody you were most excited meeting?
I don't think I got to really meet the people that I grew up watching, per se. You know,

(58:26):
I mean, I worked with Kelly and her husband. That's pretty cool.
Yeah. And Cameron Matheson, a little bit. And he was really, he was really sweet trying to get me
on that show. He was really, you know, trying to like talk to the producers and see, you know, he was,

(58:47):
anyway, saying he was very nice. You know, it was, it was fun. I was, you know, still so new to that
world. You know, so it's, they're similar to commercials in how quickly everything kind of, you know,
gets produced and how you had to be really on on your game, right? I think that's probably why I'm good at

(59:12):
teaching yoga, all that experience, you know, really being like thrown into the fire. But, um,
but yeah, I, so I, I don't know that I would look back on my experience with all my children feeling
that great about how I did. I don't know. But it was fun. You're probably learning, you, you know,
it's an craft. Absolutely. And faking it, I didn't really know, you know, that genre, that well.

(59:35):
I did audition. I don't know if you knew this, but I did a screen test for a soap when I was in high school.
High school tested for, was it another world? Yeah. Yeah. Another world.
Eyes screened just after. Yeah. Josie Watts. Oh wow. I'm pretty juicy. Um, I, she was on, I know her name too,

(01:00:08):
because she was on a bunch of different things after that. She was on, um, oh yeah. Amy Carson. Yes.
Oh wow. Okay. Yeah. I knew I knew that. Yeah. Oh wow. Is that funny? Yeah. It's wild. Yeah. I was, I was
yawn. That was really. Well, that's funny, because I just had a actress named Ella Carrot who used to

(01:00:30):
be on that show, who was paired with Ricky Paul. And I surprised her with Ricky. They, they were like a
huge couple on that show. And they were really close. He had told me how much he admired her and
liked her. So it was, uh, well, do you know that I taught Ricky's son, uh, drama classes at the school
where he goes to school? No. Isn't that crazy? He told me that his son was, you know, absolutely

(01:00:57):
following. I didn't realize, oh, that's amazing. So funny. Um, I was teaching drama classes and then
I knew his son went to the lower school. I was teaching in the middle school. And I knew his son
was at the lower, in the, the grammar school at the school. And, um, and then lo and behold, you
know, he grew up and was now in the middle school. And so I started teaching him classes. And it was

(01:01:23):
right, uh, right when did you know it was his kid? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Um, I knew, yeah, I
recognized his name and, you know, and, and I just knew through, I think one of the, um, one of the
like security guards that worked there, you know, he's, she knew that I knew him. And so she was like,

(01:01:43):
oh, you've got his son this year. And she's like telling me all of that. So one day during COVID,
when we were teaching at home, he came on camera and we started talking to each other and
the head of moment to see each other. It was so funny. That is so funny. Do you like teaching acting?
I, I, we know what it is. I won't say I liked, I did. Yes, I did. I would rather teach it to older kids

(01:02:11):
than middle school because middle school kids, especially kids who aren't choosing it. They were
really not into it. And then that was like almost insulting to me because I was like really into it.
But what I did do there that I loved, I directed their musicals. And I loved that. That was like,
that's like my hidden dream. And I absolutely, it was so, so rewarding, so great, really challenging,

(01:02:36):
really hard, but so great. Wow. You know what? Because I don't think I've ever heard you sing,
but like you and Paul should have done a cabaret at some point. We did do one. We sang what we
will, I mean, we only sang one of the fan things. We sang one song together. Oh. We did sing our theme

(01:02:57):
song on guiding light. But that was not in my range or anything. But remember that. You remember that?
We sang, I was pregnant at the time too, so it was not pretty. On the show. On the show.
Oh wow. I don't remember. The fans were asking, did you realize Tom Pellfree was destined for greatness?

(01:03:19):
No, I know. Right? How great is he doing? Really well. I know. I mean, I guess you could tell with,
right? You know, he was he and Matt Boomer. And who else did really well? It was in that little group.
I can't remember. But yeah, no, Tom. What was the show that Tom was on that I watched?

(01:03:43):
The one with Jason Bateman and Laura Lennie? Yes. Yes.
That was dark. Oh, dark. Yeah. Yeah. It was great. It was great. I know that was a big surprise. I was
like, Oh, Tom. I know. I love that. I'm watching TV all the time and like, oh, there's,
there's a lot of things going on. I was in Houston coming February 24th.

(01:04:06):
Really? Yeah. Just CBS. Seriously? Yeah. Guess who's in it? Carla Mosley. Really? Yeah. Is it in New York?
It's in Atlanta or in that vicinity. And it is a black cast black. Yeah. Yeah.

(01:04:27):
Awesome. Supposedly in partnership, it's CBS. It's the NAACP. And from what I understand,
possibly proctor and gamble. Oh my god. That's amazing. But that's soap in decades. Wow.
So CBS is trying again. They are. The partnership. I mean, with the proctor gamble thing.

(01:04:49):
Because that was the tricky part, right? I guess so. Yeah. I mean,
but there's a lot of excitement around it, which, you know, it's first one in and first,
at least on the East Coast again in the wild, I mean, not in New York. It's really a shame. I mean,
New York was, had so many, you know. Yeah. So I know it is unfortunate. There's nothing in New York.

(01:05:13):
It's just, you know, it speaks to, but I mean, you would think I was going to say, you know, how expensive
everything is in New York is for our space. But then you would think they could someone sort of jump
right in after COVID when all the rents were down. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
You so would you love to direct something? I would love to. I would love to. I love directing. I did

(01:05:39):
direct a few years back locally here, the vagina monologues with a friend of mine, she and I co-directed.
And that was super fun. I'm really, to be honest with you though, I'm much more of a coach than I am
a director, even like I, you know, I love pulling from the actor. I love pulling what they can do with it,

(01:06:03):
what more they can do. You can throw the local, your school's up by you and start exploring that.
I was doing that a little bit and now the yoga thing is taken over my. Yeah. Well, running
in business, I'm sure is. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I've learned a lot about running a business
in the last few years. And it takes a lot of a lot of energy and effort. Yeah.

(01:06:29):
Well, keep your spirits up. I'm trying. Be zen. Relax. I enjoy the time. I am.
Taken a day by day and I'm really trying to just live in this moment right now. The moment that
feels good as opposed to, you know, yesterday and tomorrow. And, you know, and again, again, I will say,

(01:06:54):
I am grateful. I am thankful. It is not something that is, you know, a life sentence. It feels at the
moment heavy and it feels long and the ups and downs of it are very real. The pain is kind of
not great at times, but, um, but for the moment to zero for anybody. Yeah. You know, I think at whatever

(01:07:18):
age you are, it's difficult. It is. Like you said, it's, it's, it's a short period. Yeah. It is. It is.
It's a short period and my husband has been amazing. Taking great care of me. My kids are great. You
know, um, and I have so many friends and, and in my community that have just kind of stepped up and

(01:07:39):
helped. And he said that I love that. He made some meals. Please tell Chris I said hello. I will. I will. He
says hello, vacuum show. He's. Yeah. Do photography. I know he got into another line.
No, not at all. He doesn't even pick his camera up really. He never, you know, he'll take a few

(01:08:01):
pictures with his, with his phone, but that's about it. We all do. I was actually saying it yesterday.
I, you know, weird. I mean, I always had a camera in my hand, but now it's my fault because it just
makes such great. I know. And that's the thing why he'll never go back to being a photographer because
anyone can be a photographer now. We all are. Basically, Michael says wishing you the best of lock Nancy.

(01:08:23):
Thank you so much. Thank you. Nancy, it's always good to see you, my friend.
Thank you. Thank you. And you listen to what the docs say. Thank you so much, Alan. Thank you so
much for having me anytime. Talk to you too. Bye. Thanks everybody for joining. Thank you to Nancy.
Saint Albin for spending the hour. You can check out Nancy's yoga studio at yoga love ny.com.

(01:08:49):
Please join me next Friday, November 22nd at 3 p.m. to catch up with actress and author Amy Dolan's
best known for her role as Melissa McKee on general hospital and roles on grown pain saved by the bell.
She became a fixture in popular 80s and 90s TV and film. If you haven't yet subscribed to my YouTube
channel, you can do so down below. Turn on the notifications for reminders of all upcoming shows

(01:09:14):
and remember, if you'd like to stream audio versions, just search the locker room on your favorite
podcast app. Have a great weekend, everybody. And as always, please stay safe.
[BLANK_AUDIO]

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