Sideshow Episode 252

Well worth the wait.  I am sure we forgot a whole bunch of stuff.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
All right, everybody, welcome back to the side show. My
name is Mingo, Tony Tony.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Where the fuck have you been? My friend? What's up? Brother?
How have you been? Jeez, I don't know what it's been. Month.
Has it been that long? I think so? I think
so too, because I was looking at my notes and uh,
you know, because I put the birthday, got to dust
them off first. I did them all for the whole month,
and it started from like the beginning of the month,
like the first name, so yees.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah, So you know we're here for August. You probably
won't hear from us again until September.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
And you know we used to do this like twice
a week, right, Yeah, that's how we started off, right.
We were all strong and like, yeah, we're gonna fucking yeah.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
We're like, yeah, let's she's do on business this week.
I'll do it next week.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
One of our previous episodes, we were talking about Puerto
Rican food and I told you I was gonna hook
you up. Okay, So I spent the last forty five
minutes cooking you some food. So we're gonna do a
tasting at the moment for you. All right, is this
the Rose and Okay. Here here's here's the funk up part.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
Oh ship, here we go.

Speaker 2 (01:13):
Yeah, I fucked up. It's the the meat pies. Oh yeah,
yeah okay. And I also got you back alau, which
is the fried cod. Oh I never had that, okay,
and what you call it? And what I did was
I gave you like a little taster, okay. But then
I left the other and banadas, two of them, and

(01:36):
white rice. I left it at home in refrigerator because
I was gonna, you know, so you could heat it
up for dinner one.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
Night, right, right, So.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
I played myself on that one. My bad.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
That's all good.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
But I'll tell you what. I won't eat it. I'll
bring it to you one day. So but I also
got you some Puerto Rican drink. Damn, I brought you.
I brought a cup, so just in case you don't
like it, you can have it.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
N It's Christmas in July.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Well, so what I did also was these im bananas
you could buy at the store. Oh really, Well, I
got you my mom's and I got you the store.
Brought one store and purchased one. Okay, so you'll be
able to taste the difference and you'll understand. Yeah, it's
not the same, but it's close enough that when you
when I have ben. Yeah, all right, So here's my

(02:31):
mom's hopefully's still warm.

Speaker 3 (02:33):
Oh that's yeah. That look good dude. All right, here
we go.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Now, keep in mind I could eat that all day
with some white rice.

Speaker 1 (02:42):
This is almost like a it's almost like a taco type, you.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Know what I mean, like the show. It's not supposed
to be that hard. No, no, no, it's just you know, Mexican,
get go talk about tacos. Not pretty good, dude, it's
really good, pretty good. Oh you're tripping. What is that flavor?

(03:12):
It tastes like it's got lemon lemon lemon?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
No, you got garlic, right of course, and hamburger meat.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
What else?

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Onions? Onions? Uh? And oh it's got like chopped up olive,
green olive and seasonings.

Speaker 3 (03:35):
Y'all eat some weird ship green olives and food.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
The green olives I could do without, you know, but
my mom always throws it in there because it's habit. God, damn,
it's cut you know what.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
They probably used that instead of instead of salt.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
Right, No, she throws a gang as saut them. Yeah.
I can't believe it's just pretty good. You're tripping. I
said that because I can't.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
I can't identify that taste, but I feel like I've
tasted it.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Now here's that soda I have to special order that
costs me like twenty five dollars for a six pack.
I have a shipped my wife right now saying I
can't believe you brought in that food and gave him
that soda. Is that black cherry? No, what is it?

(04:26):
It's called Cola Champagne, but uh, my wife says it
tastes just like doctor Pepper. I'm like, you're tripping.

Speaker 3 (04:36):
It don't taste like doctor Pepper.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
It tastes almost like a coke with grenadine, or maybe
doctor Pepper with grenadine.

Speaker 2 (04:46):
Maybe that's what she getting at. But it's got a
little spice in it. Huh. I don't think so like that.

Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, like yeah, yeah, you know my palette from drinking
wine all those years.

Speaker 2 (05:04):
So when when we first moved out here, every summer
when I would go back to New York, I could
never remember the name of the soda that is good though, dude,
So I would tell them, you know, get me the
soda with the red and white can with the palm
tree on it, and they knew exactly what soda it was.
What brand is it? What it's called good Old Colder Champagne?

(05:26):
Good Old Good Oh okay, they in Puerto Rico. They
actually have other brands, but this one's the best in
my opinion.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
That's really good.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Dude.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
All right, you can have it then, And you said
you paid twenty five bucks or what a six packs?
Like twenty bucks?

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Twenty? Yeah, I think it's like twenty bucks back. And
because twelve of it is shipping. Wow, now here's the
store brought, store purchased and Panada.

Speaker 1 (06:12):
Oh, you can totally tell the difference just by looking
at it. This was not made with love.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
It's mass produced. And that one was frozen. So I'll
be honest with you, I'm hoping it cooked all the
way through. I ain't gonna lie. I got my ladder
with me. We're good. So just give that one a bite.
Tell me what if you can tell the difference?

Speaker 1 (06:42):
Yes, yes, you can take the difference. Yeah right, yeah,
your mom's killed us.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Oh my god, dude, is a warm inside? All right?

Speaker 1 (07:06):
The storebot, you're right, would be okay in the pinch,
but it doesn't have the flavor your mom's does at all.
Like there's there's definitely something missing, and it's that flavor
that I told you that I couldn't I couldn't pinpoint.

Speaker 3 (07:19):
But that's what's missing out of it.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Oh, is that right? Well? She uses stuff like it's
called sassong. She uses uh we we cooked with something
called sofrito, which is like a mixture of like garlic
or reg you know, it's green. Doesn't look pretty at all.

(07:42):
She actually has to make that. You could buy that too,
but it's not the same.

Speaker 3 (07:49):
I keep talking about.

Speaker 2 (07:52):
Now here's the back alau all right. Now, look at
the size of this and we when we were in
Puerto Rico, they brought some home, and bro, they were
the size of like a twenty inch disc.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
That looks good, dude. It almost looks like when you
just put cheese on the.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Yeah, it looks like fried cheese. Yeah, yeah, you're right.
That's really good, dude.

Speaker 1 (08:43):
I expected a stronger fish taste, but it's not bad
at all.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
The center, where it's fatter, you'll have more of a
fish taste. You took a bite out of the outside,
which is great because it's nice and crunchy. See that
doesn't happen as crunched because more fish.

Speaker 3 (09:05):
That's good, dude.

Speaker 2 (09:12):
Mm hmmm. Lastly, I'm gonna give you this. Okay, now,
this is gonna fuck your taste buds, but you're gonna
have to try it. Nobody likes it. The only person
that likes it, you know, my wife, my daughter, my
son likes it. He don't drink it anymore though, I

(09:32):
don't know. Okay, uh, you know obviously my brother drinks it.
But like I've given it to friends, they're like disgusting.
It's a non alcoholic malt. It's called malta.

Speaker 3 (09:46):
Oh you don't have to pour me into that. Come on,
I can tell you right now.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
I won't like it. How are you gonna going to
know if you don't like it? If you don't try it?
Because it looked like motor oil, dog, you're right with
the bubbles it now it looks like rusty motor oil,
like look like cough syrup. That ship is suspect because

(10:11):
it has no smell. Oh, it has a smell.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
I don't smell it. So when you say the fuck up,
my taste buzz.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Like it like you might think it's like taste so bad,
You're like, fuck, and I haven't even finished this food.
Are you guys? On water? You could uh clean your
palate with it. Go ahead and open that bottle of
water right just in case.

Speaker 1 (10:39):
Now because I say that, go ahead, don't because I'm
not a big malt liquor fan. Because to me, malt
liquor is right along the I p A line, right,
and to me, like I PA's taste like what an
armpit smells like? That make anybody well, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (11:00):
How do you know? I'm just I don't.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
I'm saying that if I had to compare it, that's
what I would think an armpit would taste like, is
an I P A. And this is along those same lines.
But let's see rusty motor oil.

Speaker 2 (11:15):
Here we come.

Speaker 3 (11:20):
No, that ship is good?

Speaker 2 (11:21):
Really yeah? Oh ship, here you go.

Speaker 3 (11:26):
That is surprisingly fucking good.

Speaker 2 (11:27):
Dude, Dude, you're the first person out of my immediate
family that's that likes this. It's like you know what
harmike I tastes like?

Speaker 1 (11:49):
No, when you go and when you go to like
a Mexican restaurant, they have that the as Fedeska's and
they have the red one. So the red one is hamiah,
which is actually white, but they add that color to
it so that they know what it is because it
looked like fucking horn chatta.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
I'm surprised you like it? I am too. What's it
made with? I don't know.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
Does it give you like the like the flavors or whatever?

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Water, high, fruit, tose, corn syrup, uh, pale, malt, caramel,
malt caramel, calcium sulfate, salt and hops. That's it, non alcoholic.
It almost tastes like a plum. I can see that.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
Yeah, you get that flavor too.

Speaker 2 (12:53):
When my son was little and he would try to
get people to try he would try to get people
to try it because he would drink it. He drink
it would me uh he had you know, because he
was cute. He was you know, he was little. Be like,
you want to taste the malta And people were like, no,
I don't want that. You want to taste the malta?

(13:15):
Got all Porto Rican on everybody all of a sudden,
ship man.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
That's yeah, that's surprising.

Speaker 2 (13:22):
I'm surprised, dude. I'm really surprised.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
Yeah, because go ya, isn't that the they make? They
make the sass song that that you guys cook with
all that ship to red spices because I got the
Adobe one for yeah Adobe, Yeah, what the double?

Speaker 2 (13:44):
Now? I don't think mine has a has a? Do
you use the.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Computer has Adobe?

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Do you use the red or the blue? A cap?
You got to use the red?

Speaker 3 (13:54):
Oh I don't know.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Red ass pepper blue is just the seasoning.

Speaker 3 (13:58):
Okay, yeah, that's really good even whose surprise.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
A surprise too. Nobody likes it.

Speaker 1 (14:06):
Now. Now It's not something that I would grab and
drink more than one of at a time, or like,
oh here, I'm gonna go back and get another bottle.
But it would be like it would be a treat,
you know what I mean, kind of like I would
equate this to like, if you're listening, this would be
like the Puerto Rican cream soda malta.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Yeah. No, oh no, I'm not saying flavor wise.

Speaker 1 (14:29):
I'm saying that people don't just go, oh, I'm gonna
fucking I'm gonna stay home and fucking pound cream soda
after cream soda. Okay, it would be like that's you
know what I feel like, I'm in a cream soda
today and you grab that, you grab a six pack
and have something for the family, Like it's just that
little treat, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
Well, I mean I would say that with the cold
champagne because that, dude, I only I only drink that
when I'm having pizza because that's like my favorite food
and I have to have my favorite drink with it,
all right. And plus because it's so expensive, I you know,
I can't be drinking around the daily. One time, one

(15:08):
of my brother in laws used to work for me,
and he had the code to my garage because sometimes
he just had to come and get supplies and stuff.
And I kept these sodas in the garage refrigerator and
I had like one left and I went to go
get it and it was gone. And I was like,
what the fuck I'm asking my old ladies, you don't know.

(15:30):
So like a couple of weeks later, my brother and
I was like, hey, man, are you ever going to
get some more of those sodas that you had in there?
Because that was real good. I was like, you know, motherfuckers,
back then I was I was getting a shipped from
me from my uncle in New York and that was
like very few and far between. Wow. So so they
sell US in New York. What the cola? Yes? Is

(15:54):
that where you buy it from? No? Actually the place
I get it from is in Florida. Okay, it's called
Amigofoods dot com. Have you ever looked at like, do
they have it on Amazon where you can get it cheaper?
I've looked. They don't have that brand. They got the
other brands. Like when I was in Puerto Rico these
last two trips, they don't have good Oh there's it's

(16:15):
called Okay, hey, can I get one of those not
so bad colas? And it looks like a doctor pepper can. Oh,
maybe that's why you're now. This is this She's tried
it years ago, and uh, it's like eighty five percent
of what that is in regards to taste. It's like

(16:36):
almost there, but it's just not quite there. And if
I couldn't get the good old, I would get the Okay,
I just bid be sour the whole time. I can
hear you, oh dude when actually I'm running low on them,
and my old lady's like, yo, you're running low. You
need to uh order yourself some more. And I was

(16:57):
like damn, because I felt like just order these.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
Well, you know why, because you've been making fucking pizzas
left and right.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
How's that coming along? I have to get back into it.
Uh uh I, well, I really need the practice for starters.
Uh real quick. I'm on Amazon right now a twelve
pat eight pack of okay, twelve hounce cans. God damn

(17:34):
twenty seven ninety five. Yeah. Oh look at that picture?
What is that? Oh? Yeah, but no other than a
uh okay coola. See what I'm saying. Shit, we like
in a little Puerto Rican island right now? Oh? Snap,

(17:55):
and fish is really good, dude, baklau.

Speaker 1 (17:58):
Yeah, I'm not a big fish person, but that that's good, Like, yeah,
good yo.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
I have to apologize again with that food wow, because
I feel like an answer. I didn't bring it because
I dude, I had the white rice with it because
it's like frozen. I frozen, so it was like whenever
you're ready to keep it in your freezing to Well,
you said you're gonna eat this night, but oh that'd
be cool though. Shit, hell, little snack will take it
to work. What's that.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
Ship in Puerto Rico?

Speaker 2 (18:31):
Why not? They won't know. So what was the last
pizza that you made? I think it's still the same
the one I had. Oh, I took one of my
brother that night. I was making a bunch of pizzas. See,
And but what I did was I made right now.

(18:51):
I have six go balls in the freezer, okay, so
when I'm ready to make one, I had to pull
it out like the day before, or that defrosts slowly
and I can make one. How does the defrosted do do?

Speaker 3 (19:06):
Though?

Speaker 2 (19:07):
That's the thing, that's what I These are the type
of things I need to try and figure out, because
I would, I don't. I don't. I don't know if
it's it's gonna have the same elasticity. Well, it has
to be, according to the Internet. I have to put
it refrigerator for twenty four hours, okay, and then pull
it out of refrigerator like two to three hours before

(19:29):
I before I start making it. That way, it comes
to room temperature and it'll be able to get it'll
stretch out and stuff like that properly. But again I'm
all new to this. I would have made them this weekend,
but we went to a pizza joint Saturday night for
my goddaughter's daughter's birthday. Nice uppercross, So you know.

Speaker 1 (19:50):
Which one do you go to? Or which where's uppercross
that cross street from Target? Okay, okay, yeah, I used
to work right there. That would you used to be
bird kick Now it's what cuts in the end is yeah,
right on?

Speaker 2 (20:04):
But yeah, I really the one thing I want to
see and I'm probably I probably will try this, yeah,
to frost it, see if I can stretch it out
and then put it back into a ball and freeze
it again, because I need to get some practice in.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
I wouldn't do that. You're doing too much. You take
that shit out that or make smaller balls and free
smaller balls.

Speaker 2 (20:34):
Well they're they're they're big enough to do like a
twelve inch pizza. Okay, twelve to fourteen inch, so they're
already kind of small. So why would you thow it
out and then put it back in the freezer? Just
because I don't want to waste it. I want to
practice stretching it out.

Speaker 1 (20:53):
So you would though it out to see if you
could stretch it out and then freeze it again. Yeah,
without making a pizza.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
Yeah, because right now I have left or pizza from
Saturday night. None right now? Actually actually in all actually
actually just make it gear to.

Speaker 3 (21:09):
Somebody, Yeah, that'd be cool, that'd be really cool.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Yeah, I really need to because I also got some
recipes for sauce to make my own sauce instead of
like the jarred pizza sauce.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Do you like a sweet sauce or a spicy sauce?

Speaker 2 (21:26):
I prefer spicy myself.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
And do you like a thick, good amount of sauce
or you like it really?

Speaker 2 (21:33):
Like? Well, that's the thing in all these videos and
I actually saw I was watching them Saturday night at Applecrust.
You know, all actuality. You don't put a lot of sauce,
and you don't put a lot of cheese. You think
you do, but you really don't. You put like, let's say,
two spoonfuls and you make a circle and it almost
looks like a candy cane if you will, like swirls. Yeah, okay,

(21:56):
So it's not like a good layer on top as
you would think. And the same with the cheese. You
just sprinkling the cheese on it because when it when
it cooks and it melts, it all goes together and
forms that big, you know, diameter. Yeah, so you would
because the first couple of pizzas I made, like they
were breaking apart because they were so heavy because of

(22:17):
all the ship I was putting on.

Speaker 1 (22:21):
I don't cheese on that one ship. How much cheese
were you putting on?

Speaker 2 (22:27):
Like handfuls? Yeah? Like covered it to yeah, covered it
to where it looks like it would look when it
was done, and again when you should still see like
a lot of red from the sauce when you put
the cheese on, just when it melts it.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Just did you ever think that you would be having
to look up how to make a fucking pizza? No,
like like I could see like like the dull part
of it, but like.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
How much sauce just cover that ship?

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Well, come on, come on, Like I said, uh, when
I made those flavored pizzas the barbecue chicken in the
garlic Alfredo, I didn't follow the same rule of like
the swirl looking to make it look like a candy cane.
I did it like a layer. Well I think you
need that for that though right now they said it
was too much really got it? Or like yeah, it

(23:23):
was good, but it was just like oversauce.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
So I think I you know, well, I guess that
would make sense because I guess putting it, putting it
in the heat again for another what.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Does pizza take ten minutes? Well that's the beauty, oh yours.
I mean I've always wanted a pizza oven, right, and
it's always like a gas where there's a flame.

Speaker 1 (23:46):
But you got like a pizza oven microwave. Yeah, that's
kind of cool. I never thought about it like that.

Speaker 3 (23:52):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
See, but you know, I you got to hook up
gas to them, you know, ship like that, and you
know that's that's a bit much for me. But again,
when I saw this thing, plug it in dog heavn.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
So yours is electric? You said, right, there's no. That's
got very very nice.

Speaker 2 (24:13):
A little heavy though, that's the only problem with.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
It, like like heavy, how much heavy?

Speaker 2 (24:20):
Maybe thirty forty pounds? God damn. Yeah, it's kind of heavy. Yeah,
and I keep it in the box in my pantry
of course. So to get it, it's kind of like
and move everything, yeah, because it's a pretty good sized box.

Speaker 1 (24:35):
And you probably left all the fucking styropham and try
to put it back here.

Speaker 2 (24:38):
You got it, right. I don't blame you. I probably
do the same shit. So what I had to do was,
you know, I got it. I walk into the pantry
I have to close the door, move this thing out,
open the door, and then you know, slide it out
because it's still in the box. Got you. It's kind

(24:59):
of you know, if it was lighter, or if I
could keep it outside.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
You should make a fake a fake pizza oven for outside,
like the like the like the stand, you know what
I mean, Like it would be like a brick oven.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
Why too short out? Oh yeah, I just think the
elements because it's it's electric. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (25:23):
It's electric, you know.

Speaker 2 (25:24):
And now we're kind of in the breezy season. I
don't need sad getting all up.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
In there and be a gritty pizza Yeah, my far
as chipping a tooth?

Speaker 2 (25:34):
Sit damn?

Speaker 3 (25:34):
What happen to your tea? Happen to your smile?

Speaker 2 (25:36):
I had Tony's Pizza. Have you ever been there? That's funny?
Ship brother? What else?

Speaker 3 (25:43):
What else you've been up to? What else is going on?

Speaker 2 (25:45):
A couple of weekends ago, we went up to We
stayed at my daughter's house. We went up to uh Manu,
our buddy man you came down with his son that's right,
turned fifteen. So we we he invited us out to
Uh like spend the day with him. So we spent
Saturday with him. Saturday afternoon we had dinner and then
we went out to the pier at night. We're at

(26:08):
Santa Monica. Uh. Yeah, it was real nice. Actually, Uh
shot out there Friday we went out to dinner. Did
anything happen at the restaurant?

Speaker 3 (26:23):
Do you guys get on any of the rides at
the pier?

Speaker 2 (26:25):
His kids did well, his son, his son had a
friend and his grandson who is actually older than his son,
his is like eighteen. They went on the rides. We
just chilled and dragged. My daughter joined us. Oh that
was great. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Is there can you drink on the pier?

Speaker 2 (26:46):
Is there? Oh? They got like a restaurants. I don't
know if you can. Actually I don't think you can
actually drink on the pier. Okay, So we went into
like a little bar, hung out for a little while. Yeah,
it was nice.

Speaker 1 (26:59):
Uh were there any like at the piers? You always
see him like on all the movies and ship where
they have like the Harry Christnas.

Speaker 2 (27:08):
Were there any there? No? But I if I remember correctly,
there was like a person holding the sign. Uh you
know Jesus Loves you type stuff stuff like that. Yeah,
no microphone and a speaker, nothing like that. Right on. Uh,

(27:29):
and you get your your peddlers that you know, played
an instrument with a little tip jar. That was cool.
I like, were there any good singers or were they
just kind of like one guy was rocking a uh
I think it was an electric violin. That cool. Yeah,
So he played to some music like a backing track.
That was cool. Another guy was playing with a guitar.

(27:50):
Obviously you always have to sign somebody with a guitar. Uh. Yeah,
it was pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
Do they have do they have in like uh in
southern states that that that touched the ocean? So, I mean,
I know you've never been there, but I'm just just
the offensive question, like are there any like because obviously
in Miami they might have one, but coming back around Georgia, Mississippi.

Speaker 2 (28:23):
Well, I mean they would have to have peers because
of their boats obviously, but as far as with with
carnival rides and stuff like in restaurants, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (28:35):
Good question because I I wonder because is there like
here you have people that like want to be on
fucking you know, America has talent or American Island or
whatever it is. You have people out there singing, you
have people playing guitar and ship like the electric violin.
Do you have people playing an actual fiddle? Yeah, people

(28:56):
playing the spoons, anybody playing a fucking harmonica out there?

Speaker 2 (29:00):
Like you know what I mean? Like, what what what
happens out there? Right?

Speaker 3 (29:04):
Good question?

Speaker 2 (29:06):
I mean I would think, so, come on, California can't
be the only place that has a peer or has peers. Well,
but it's not exclusive to California.

Speaker 1 (29:15):
Well no, because you well, because you have you have California,
and then you have.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
New Jersey, right, and that where they have.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
The big pier out there, Atlanta City, Staten Island, right Atlantic.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, So.

Speaker 1 (29:32):
But I want like, do they have them like they
have them here where it's where it's got fucking Ferris
Wheels and all that ship because you gotta remember that's
Hurricane Alley too, Like.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Well, Atlanta City does because Jersey Shore. You ever watch
that show? Well, yeah, that's what That's what I'm saying. Okay,
they had you know, rides.

Speaker 1 (29:51):
I never watched that ship really yeah, was pretty good?

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Really yeah, it wasn't too bad. Well rat Well, if
you know any of the characters or the people. Snooky,
oh snooky. What caught me was one episode in the
first season. She was drunk at a bar and some
dude stole on her and I was hooked when.

Speaker 1 (30:15):
I saw that, I was hooked. Let's start from the beginning.

Speaker 2 (30:20):
Let's go, holy ship. I was hooked. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
I could never get into watching those, watching them and
the dudes with the with the accent and the dude
with the was the dude with the slick back hair.

Speaker 2 (30:37):
They all pretty much had those haircuts. Uh.

Speaker 1 (30:40):
Polly d was a DJ. That's the guy Mike the
situation that one too.

Speaker 2 (30:44):
Yeah, Uh, Ronnie he was a big muscular kid. And
then they were all.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
They were all in pretty good ship right there.

Speaker 2 (30:53):
And then uh, I can't remember the last Nedwe's name,
Vinnie Vinnie. Yeah, Bennie. Couldn't get more fucking Italian than Jesus.
Hey your Polly, Come on, man, there was dude. Let

(31:15):
me tell you this is one episode?

Speaker 1 (31:17):
Was it?

Speaker 2 (31:17):
The first season was like second or third They had
one of the big long plastic uh. I can call
it a bazoon, a gazoon bazoon like a horn, the
long plastic ones. Uh. You usually see them like as
soccer matches. I mean they're loud.

Speaker 1 (31:40):
Oh okay, yeah, I know we're talking about not an
actual not an actual horn you're talking about Okay.

Speaker 2 (31:46):
Did you blow on it? You blow on it? Yeah,
it's mad loud. So this one episode, they called it
a shoot ah ah man grenade whistle grenade whistle because

(32:08):
a grenade to them was a chick that wasn't very attractive.
All right, h So this one episode. So this one episode, right,
one of the dudes, Mike the situation, he brought home
two girls and and so they were all, you know,

(32:32):
because they're they're at this beach house.

Speaker 3 (32:35):
The voo woo zilla a long plastic horn.

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Yeah, that's what it's called voovcilla. But so uh so
he he introduced him to his roommates and they had
a room where they would all have you know, intercourse
in I feel so old say anything like that. They
called it the smash the smushroom, right, So he brought them,

(32:58):
he brought them to that room. Yo, And then one
of the dudes downstairs, one of the roommates, grabbed that
fucking horn and start blowing on it. And dude, I
swear to God, if they if they knew they were
doing it. They acted perfectly because what they you know,

(33:19):
they would go from one scene to the next, like
from the outside to the inside, right, So they showed
the dude picking it up and start blowing on it.
And so Michael's situations. He's in the room talking to
the girls and then like he's talking, he's talking in
the background, you can hear the horn, and then all
of a sudden, he's like he stops talking and he's

(33:42):
like looking around, and he starts looking at the girls
because he realizes, you know, maybe he's in a you know,
a drunk, drunk haze, and he's like, he just brought
two girls home. He don't, you know, he's not really
paying attention to what they really look like. So he
starts looking at them and she she's like, wait a minute,
you know, and there did just in the backyard, fucking dying, laughing, fuck, bro,

(34:04):
funniest shit kid. And were they grenades? Is that why?
I don't remember, but you can probably pull it up
on YouTube. Just type in Jersey Shore grenade whistle or something. Dude,
it's fuck, it's so funny though, Holy shit, I was dying.

Speaker 3 (34:20):
Okay, could you imagine that?

Speaker 2 (34:22):
Show nowadays, bro, well they still they were still doing it,
but I mean they're all older now, they got kids
and stuff. It's it's kind of whack. But you're just
so uh committed to them because you know them, and
you know, I get it. I get how people get
you know the way they are because I am. I'll

(34:43):
watch it every once in a while at the time
if i'm channel surfing, I'll stop for a little bit.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
Are you still not doing dish and you just doing
the online services?

Speaker 2 (34:54):
Are you back to TV service? No? No TV service?
Still you're still working out for you? Yeah? You know
all actuality. You know, I go to sleep so early
I should say we go to sleep so early because
of me, right that we were We get like two
hours two and a half hours a night, maybe maybe

(35:18):
three at the most.

Speaker 3 (35:19):
So seven o'clock news is late for you.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
And then yeah, seven o'clock you're not a that late
you seven You're sleep by seven thirty.

Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, and I'm talking to sleep by seven thirty.

Speaker 3 (35:32):
Holy shit. And your your wife will sleep with you
at seven thirty two.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
No, she'll we go to we go to bed together.
If she she'll watch TV, she'll watch a little bit.
But she'll fall asleep. Does she ever wake you up
to talk to you? No? No, never, No should maybe
are you asleep? No? Well I was no, because dog,
when I'm gone, I am gone, kids out. If you

(35:59):
try to wake me up, I'll be like it takes
me a couple of seconds just to figure out where
I am.

Speaker 1 (36:02):
My next white piece to do that shit, But I'd
be snoring. Hey, hey you're snoring? Yeah, because I was
fucking asleep. Why you gotta wake it up?

Speaker 2 (36:11):
For shit? Was good right now? Fuck? Our our thing
is will usually be eating dinner by five thirty because
that's ABC News tonight with David Muir. That's my man,
so we gotta be it's got I gotta watch them.

(36:33):
That's that's, you know, my news for the day. Okay,
so if we're in front of the TV prior to that,
it's the local news. But definitely you could count on
five thirty the checkos are in front of a TV,
probably eating dinner right now, and then good too. We're
lucky if we get two hours five thirty, I'm still

(36:54):
at work. It's crazy.

Speaker 3 (36:55):
Probably just coming back from lunch.

Speaker 2 (36:57):
Dog, I gotta when we go to the bedroom, I
got to put those blackout curtains down because dog is
a light outside. The fuck do you do you keep
your phone in your room? Yes?

Speaker 3 (37:16):
I know some people that don't that put it outside
of the room.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
Well, we used to keep them in the closet, okay.
And then when we got the new bedroom furniture actual, yeah,
our new beds last year. Yeah, I opted not to
have an alarm clock anymore on my side. Just your phone,
just my phone. I used the phone as an alarm
clock because the new furniture is like really nice. And

(37:43):
you know, my wife still has that old school red numbers,
you know, alarm with the little radio on the side.
You know, Yeah, my first don't work.

Speaker 1 (37:52):
Probably can't hold the station or this hit anymore. But
because they're magnets, you're right, So you put it on
and you let go slowly comes off the station.

Speaker 2 (38:02):
But it's just out of because it's out of habit.
She knows exactly where the buttons are to, you know,
to hit the snooze or you know.

Speaker 1 (38:09):
How many times does she hit snooze before she actually
gets out of bed?

Speaker 3 (38:13):
Oh you don't.

Speaker 2 (38:13):
Know, I'm out of bed by three? What about you? What?
Or just one time and you're out. I'm out. Yeah,
I don't hit snooze, damn. If anything, I'll go back
to sleep, like I'll set my alarm for like another
half an hour. Okay, I won't hit I won't do
that nine minute snooze. That's that's a.

Speaker 3 (38:34):
Waste, that's bullshit. Just irritate you after a while.

Speaker 2 (38:38):
But what really irritates me is you got to hit
the screen on your phone right, whereas this stop because
you can either hit stop or snooze, right, they're far
enough away from each other so I know which one
it is. But still it's like when you're trying to
tap it.

Speaker 1 (38:54):
Well, because they make the smooth the stop like small,
and there snooze buttons like the whole face the fucking
phone be like fuck, the only thing could have been worth.
What they should do is make it bounce all over
the screen, so you actually have to get up to
fucking find it to be able to hit it that way,
you're up all right, fucking well, no, I'm gonna wait

(39:15):
because the don't have to fucking find the stop or
off button.

Speaker 2 (39:17):
What I hate is that if I have to go
to the bathroom, like at two thirty in the morning, Oh,
it's the worst. Why because I can't fall back asleep
because I'm going to wake up at three.

Speaker 3 (39:27):
Fuck that, I nope, I'll go to sleep half an hour.

Speaker 2 (39:31):
I'm good.

Speaker 1 (39:33):
But then I every fucking five minutes of one, I
open like because I don't want to sleep over, you
know what I mean. Yeah, So I said that I
was going to and I really need to start doing this,
especially like so like when I go to when I
get up in the middle of the night to go pee,
I don't sit down. I know, you sit down and

(39:55):
some friends are proponents of sitting down when they go pee,
and uh, I don't. And I found myself falling asleep
standing up and then all of a sudden, my legs
give out from under me, and I'm crashing to the
ground like I'm holding I'm trying to balance myself back

(40:17):
up without crashing to the ground, and I've gotten I
almost hit my head on my forehead on the back
of the toilet this morning because I fucking I fell
forward this time, and I was able to, you know,
catch myself on the wall right before I like I
was like, I don't know, inch into a half away
from fucking smacking my forehead on the back of the toilet, Brock,

(40:38):
I gotta start sitting down.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
You know what I got? Mm hm the tushy what
the tushy wave? What is that? Is the toilet that
has the water hook up to it? You mean you
got a be day yes toilet see the day? Okay,
game changer, you said forever. I wouldn't. No, I'm not

(41:01):
to do that water spreading blah blah blah. Let you know.
I do have to be careful though, because there's no
adjusting of the direction and somehow it just knows, so
I can't like put it like at the first number,

(41:22):
Like I think there's like three clicks for pressure, the
first obviously being the the.

Speaker 3 (41:27):
Softest, softest.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
I can't even go to one sometimes because it's like, dude,
it's like it knows the bulls eyes dog. I mean
I could work my once it's there and I'm getting
used to it, I can like maybe click it to one,
but just like immediately, no, dog.

Speaker 1 (41:50):
And it's not like your It's not like your ass
is drinking out of a water fountain.

Speaker 3 (41:54):
Like it you squeeze it and let it, you know
what I mean, do its job.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
Squeeze it, squeeze your as cheese. You don't get me.
You can't squeeze your buttees because then you want your
You're watching you. You're just squeezing your your fucking sphiner.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
That's all.

Speaker 2 (42:10):
No, Dog, you don't work that way. I can't do
that tripping. But dude, let me tell you I now,
because like I'm working it. You know what I'm saying
right now, I like move my body around like slowly

(42:32):
working side to side front the back. Dog is. But okay,
check this out. Though. The reason I got.

Speaker 1 (42:48):
It is because uh hemorrhoids.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
My mom wanted some My mom was having some issues
with the bathroom, okay, with her age, and so my
sister in law, her stepmother, I believe, had the total one.
What's that It's like as far as the actual seat

(43:17):
being the Bidet, it's like top of the line, or
at least close to it. It's like five hundred snaps. Okay,
but you have to have you plug it in. It's
got a wireless remote.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
I want you you need the wireless remote.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
Because of all the stuff it does. Dog has heated seats.
The seat is heated. Dog. It's like what they call
it the Cadillac of Bidet. Seeds. So they say on
the costco like five hundred snaps. So my mom was like, yo,
I you know, I think I want one of those.
We're like all right, So we got it. You know,

(43:55):
I call an electrician because you got to get a
plug near the toilet. H So got that handled for her.
And it's got a wireless remote that you can like
mount on the wall right next to you. My mom
in her bathroom, she actually has like a little round
table that she keeps next to so we just put
it there and again, the the seat is heated. It's

(44:20):
got let's say, it looks like a white television remote.
I got a bunch of buttons, and it's ship on
the back too. I think you can adjust the directionals.
You could turn the heat on her off. You know
all this stuff I don't know. I told myself to
look into it so I know what we're working with.

(44:40):
What she calls you and she's sitting there. It's not
too far to the laugh. So, uh, we got it,
and she likes it cool. But she really likes it.

(45:01):
And and like my wife, she's fucking with me about it.
She's like, like, if I call my mom and she
don't answer, right now. I would be like, she's probably
in the bathroom. Dog. And you know what started it. Actually,

(45:24):
my mom went to the doctor like a week or
two after this was a stall and my mom was like,
I'm feeling so much better. I went to the doctor,
and the doctor before he even checked me out, he
was like, wow, you're looking good these days. You know,
what are you doing different. She's like, I don't know,
you know, I'm eating better and my mom my wife's like,
it's that seat. And my mom, you know, she's really happy.

(45:50):
She's like, yeah, the doctor sets up doing really good.
I'm like cool. But what sucks now is because now
in the back of my head every time I call her,
she don't answer. She in the bathroom backwards.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Be mad if you want to, goddamn it, you started it,
oh man.

Speaker 2 (46:12):
But so I decided to get one. But you know,
I'm not gonna I ain't gonna try and drop the
five hundred snaps plus electrician. You know.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
So so when your mom calls you and you don't
answer the.

Speaker 2 (46:24):
Bathroom so again, I got the it's called I mean
the brand I got Tushy t U s h y.
My mom is a total total toilet my brand also
has electric ones, you know, so I was looking at him,
but then you know, I was again, I don't want
to do electrical, so that I went like one of

(46:46):
the better ones that you know, just water hook up
and bro, I got the duel, the dual option dog
stop in the front and the back. When yes, kid
does the front or the back, Okay, I haven't tried

(47:06):
the front. You it's not for you. And the funny
shit is like when you see the toilet dog, it
looks like a regular toilet seat, but the ring towards
the back, it's like the the hole is not as
big as a traditional toilet because the back has you know,

(47:29):
is the compartment that you know has all the stuff.
So you know, when I was first trying it out.
So when you turn it on, what happens is water
shoots on the tip of the the thing that shoots water,
it's hidden. You can't even see it. It pops out. I
guess the water pressure causes it to come out like
a snake got you. It almost looks like an antenna.

(47:52):
When you back in the day the old school cars,
you turn on the getting wrecked. The red rocket came
out in the back of my toilet. So when you
turn it, when you when you again, when you're clicking
to number one, it pops out and showers itself somehow
and it fully extends and it just shoots straight out. Kid,

(48:16):
it's a trip. It is a trip. One of these days,
I'm I'm gonna go to number two. I'll let you
know how it is, and then I'll try for number three.
Power blaster.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Well, you know, man, good, I had to really sticky ship.
I had to go to number three just to make
sure I got it all off the walls, because holy
that's crazy. So okay, so for those of us that
don't have a bidet, you use it and then you

(48:54):
you follow it up with paper to make sure that
it's all clean and then or.

Speaker 2 (48:57):
Do you just know, yeah, you have to follow it
up with paper. Uh, number one because you're kind of
dripping with water, right, so you got to dry yourself off.
But as you you know, as you're cleaning yourself, you notice, dog,
there's not that much remnants on the on the paper.
It's actually a game changer for me. So you're saving

(49:21):
trees and wasting water. I don't know how much water
it actually uses.

Speaker 1 (49:28):
Probably no more than a than a I mean, I
would say it's it's got to be about the stream
of a of a of a water fountain, right, so
it can be that much.

Speaker 2 (49:38):
No, No, it's a lot stronger than a water fountain,
first of all.

Speaker 1 (49:43):
So but but that's but that that wouldn't that wouldn't
change how much it spits out.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
It's actually it would because of the pressure you you're
actually usually less water as if it was just a stream. Right,
That's what I'm saying, because it's it the tubing smaller. Yes,
it is a lot smaller in diameter. Right, you should
try it out, kid, I know you'd be running through

(50:11):
some toilet paper.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
Well, I knew, I knew, I I Well, I've always
said I wanted to I wanted to put one through it.
Lately it seems like, holy shit, bro, I started this
new medicine.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Boy, that shit's been keeping me on medicine for what.
Oh it's a private My bad. It's just you know,
part of the aging process.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
Yeah, okay, and I just now you say that, fuck
a arp. I'm not old enough. Stop sending me ship,
Stop asking me to register. I'm not old enough.

Speaker 2 (50:44):
Fifty five is it fifty five?

Speaker 3 (50:45):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (50:46):
You're fifty five, you come to senior shits, I ain't
there yet. I'm barely fifty three. Leave me there alone.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Fifty three. Wait, yeah, I'll be fifty four this year
in September, right now, barely fifty three?

Speaker 1 (51:01):
Yeah, you pushing, but I'm a little half fifty three.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Oh shit, fifty four in two months? All right? Dog?
You fifty four?

Speaker 1 (51:09):
Fuck that, I'm not fifty four to the day after
the twenty third, and then it's confirmed.

Speaker 2 (51:15):
Maye it to fifty four. You know what I'm saying.
I'm good.

Speaker 1 (51:23):
So so you still have to wipe when you're done.
But you said it's not as bad as it was
prior to using just paper correct, So, like, I don't
know how much you want to talk about this?

Speaker 2 (51:41):
How open? How open? Yeah, we can't give too far.
Molad to get pissed me. Put it this way. A
quarter roll? Half a roll? Damn roll?

Speaker 1 (51:51):
I said, a quarter a half a roll? When you
go to your ship? What was your normal or are
you one of those? Or do you count out like three?

Speaker 2 (52:00):
No? You you wrap your fingers around like once or
twice and now right, well yeah that's dog, you said
a quarter roll? Well yeah, if you wipe your ass
several times? Why I say, you be running through he yeah,
sh uh no, I still do the same amount. I
probably should make a conscious effort not to maybe just

(52:21):
a habit. Okay, but what I mean, what I'm saying
is when you actually clean yourself, what's left over on
the paper is like nothing. So why would you use
the same amount of paper again? Just have it habitual?
I should I should count maybe three squares now.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Okay, hold on, So before you had the day, okay,
how many wipes would you say it took you to get
to the center of a fucking TUTSI pop?

Speaker 2 (52:53):
I like that always depends, I mean average average? How
many wipes? Maybe three?

Speaker 3 (52:59):
That's it.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
What if you had like any regular five six times,
or it was always three?

Speaker 2 (53:10):
Well three, I would say three would be the average. Three.
I'm barely warming up. But if if, if, if I
put the work in, if I went hard in the paint,
it would be like three wipes, but three times. So
the first time, wrap my hand, three white, oh ship,
let me get fresh, you know, off for backup and

(53:34):
oh shit, okay, almost done but not quite there. Round
three and then I'll be good.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
And how often do you have brown spokes, spokes, skid marks,
trained derailments.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
You gotta call them not too often. But of course,
I mean I work out doors and you know it happened.
Ship happens.

Speaker 3 (54:03):
What is happened?

Speaker 2 (54:04):
What does working out doors have to do with it?
You're sweating, and you know if you don't get a
good white well, you don't get a good wipe when
you left.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
You know, it was probably because you only wipe your
ass three times, like you know what I mean, that's
average kid, Okay, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Plus you got to remember for the last three years,
you know, I've been like really bad with medicine and stuff.

Speaker 3 (54:30):
Yeah, okay, I'll give you that. I'll give you that.

Speaker 2 (54:35):
But I saw a video once with I believe it
was a gentleman of like maybe Muslim faith, and he
was talking about how he couldn't understand how US Westerners
would just use charlete paper right instead of the paper

(54:55):
tower or something wet. Yeah, and he gave an example.
What he did was, uh, he went, he got like
some dirt, some sand, right, and like wet it, moistened
it and wiped it on his arm, and he grabbed
a piece of toilet paper and and like kind of

(55:17):
try to clean it up. He's showing his arm. He's like,
see what you're doing. You're just spreading it. You're not
really cleaning yourself. And then obviously he took some water
and you know, changed it up. He's like, you see,
this is what we do, you know, because I guess
people were talking trash to him about you know, about
his religion and things that they have to do, or

(55:37):
the things they do, how they always clean themselves and
you know, in a bowl of water, the type deal.
And I was like, yeah, dude, he's making a lot
of sense right now. Man, make me get in trouble.
Let me put it this way.

Speaker 1 (55:58):
Also, look, man, they walk around without socks on in
a dirt. They don't they don't live where, they don't
take showers every day. But they wipe their ass with water.
I'll give them credit. And then they put on portulio.
Oh they stick even more like armpit like a coleman.

Speaker 2 (56:15):
Let me put it this way. Talk about hygiene for
the last I'll say good three probably since I got better,
to be honest with you, since the surgery we had
to keep we didn't have to. It would just make
things a lot easier wet wipes near the toilet.

Speaker 3 (56:36):
Why is that.

Speaker 1 (56:40):
Because you just jo I'm sorry, because you said since
the surgery, they would make things easier.

Speaker 3 (56:44):
Why what do you.

Speaker 2 (56:44):
Mean so I wouldn't have to get up and try
to find me to wet wipes underneath the bathroom cabinet? Okay,
some cottonail joints, right, I don't at least.

Speaker 1 (56:55):
Use the dude ones. Bro, the dude the dude ones.
They have a there were mint brother, They're fucking great.
You probably wanted the ones with fucking.

Speaker 2 (57:05):
Yo daughter milk or yo. I'm on a budget. Ball
around a budget, kid. I can't do the mint ones.
I gotta do the cottonails joints.

Speaker 3 (57:14):
But is more expensive. Two little bears hugging.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
It's hard to do, Bro, But uh, I don't. We
don't use them. I don't use those anymore. Well, no,
you got fucking water holes. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 (57:30):
Okay, Well I guess, Well, so you're saving money all
the way around toilet paper and fucking wet wipes.

Speaker 2 (57:39):
Yeah. One one time I didn't dry myself fully like
towards the beginning, and it was very uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 (57:48):
Oh yeah, very Yeah, you could feel it when yeah
around you're like, yeah, that's why if you if you
ever did, if you ever like buy somebody keeping your
truck just in case, don't buy the cottonails by the
by the fucking mint ones, the dude I don't know
what the fuck they're called, their.

Speaker 2 (58:05):
Dude wipes, but by the ones with mint.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
Don't buy the fucking cocoa butter because they have lotion
and uh, it just fucking feels slimy.

Speaker 2 (58:13):
I used to keep them in my truck. They dry out. Yeah,
so it's just put them in your lunch pail.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
I mean, come on on the bottom of your lunch
pail if you feel like that's even.

Speaker 2 (58:25):
Just saying you know what I I Yeah, I gotta
get off the subject. Let me ask you a question
you shouldn't say me. Right, we're both fifty four almost.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
You're fifty four, I will be fifty four.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
Right, your anatomy has changed, right, like what we're just
I'm just gonna call on how it is like your
balls hang lower than they used to Right, they're not.
They're not as snug as.

Speaker 2 (58:49):
They used to be unless it's cold. Yes, So.

Speaker 1 (58:55):
The other day I didn't realize how bad, how much
my body had changed, and part of it is because
I'm heavier than I ever was, and you know, working
on that.

Speaker 3 (59:06):
But whatever.

Speaker 1 (59:08):
And I always wore boxers for a large part of
my life, so they had no sport. They were just
fucking yeah, dangling, let's go, let's stretch them out whatever, Right,
So then I bought some briefs, like the the Boxer briefs,
longer ones, so that you know you're not whitey tidies
but still feel like you're rocking cool.

Speaker 2 (59:30):
Right.

Speaker 1 (59:32):
So, but I bought them too big, so it didn't
snug the balls. They were just still kind of hanging
more than they should. And one of the left, one
of the right, like we're splitting bridges.

Speaker 2 (59:41):
Right.

Speaker 1 (59:42):
Well, I sat down one day at work and it
was hot outside, so they didn't want to be close
to my body, and I sat down and I sat
right on one of them, mother for a while.

Speaker 2 (59:53):
About I bought shout out that motherfucker.

Speaker 1 (59:55):
Seat boy, because because like, and I don't know what
the fuck it is, bro, but every time somebody comes
in with a fucking small ass car like a fucking
Fiat or a Mazda, I'm the one that's gotta go
outside and appraise it. Or they'll come in with a
fucking f one fifty or a Sheavy fifteen hundred that's

(01:00:16):
lifted and they don't have fucking uh steps. They don't
have the rails on the side for you to step
up and into the truck. So I gotta fucking throw
my leg up. Then I grab this chair and wheel
and fucking pull myself up into the truck. Well, when
you do that, you know you're you're spreading your legs already,
because one's in the truck, one's on the floor, and
you're pulling yourself up. And now you reach over and

(01:00:38):
you grab and you get one ass cheek on the
on the seat, take a deep breath, and then you
pull yourself in. Well, now you're dragging your fucking nuts
across their street, across their seat, and one nut ends
up underneath the left leg, and you don't realize it
until you try to square yourself out and you you
lean to the left and you sit right on your

(01:00:59):
fucking ball sack.

Speaker 2 (01:01:01):
I've never sat on them.

Speaker 1 (01:01:02):
Holy Ship, Tony, life changing my.

Speaker 2 (01:01:13):
The one thing I do I have noticed that I
have done in the past is when I sit down,
I haven't sat on them. I don't think I've dropped
that low, but I've sat to where they're like further
back than I would like. So and that's like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 (01:01:31):
Have they ever gone to where like single file? Damn No,
you never had them do that? Fuck wow, damn. You
gotta be careful fucking nuts or monsters, bro. And the
problem is I have big balls, so it's not like,
you know what I mean, Like, it's not like some

(01:01:52):
guys with smaller sacks could probably get away with it.
I happen to have larger balls, so they you know,
they getting the waist.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
I tell you Forest down there too.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
Uh no, you know what I because of my background,
I've never been a very hairy person. Right like my legs,
my legs are bowed, both my legs. Really, I have
like a very like my nuts aren't hairy, but right
right above that little poofy part, I don't know what
the fuck you want to call it, like from the

(01:02:23):
from the stem to the belly button. Yeah, like that's
not really yeah, not hairy at all. When I was younger,
there was it was, I guess slightly, but it was
more they were more long than they were.

Speaker 3 (01:02:38):
Like like super Bushy.

Speaker 2 (01:02:40):
I just put it out there for my wife. The
only reason I'm talking about this is for my son
to know what he's got to look forward to. So
it's like educational.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
You know what, dude, It's fucking important to talk about
it because there's a lot of fucking people that are
going through the same ship that aren't, that are too
embarrassed to talk about it, or they want to talk
about it with certain people and their old ladies don't
want to hear or laugh about it and don't understand it,
or their friends they don't have the kind of friends
that they could share that shit with.

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
Kids, you might not want to listen to this next part,
So listen. When we're in Vegas Robert's birthday. When we
came back, we rolled with Louise and Melissa, my wife,
and I, so this is the four of us. I
was in front seat, the girls were in the back.
I don't know how I got brought up, but we

(01:03:32):
were talking about, you know, at our age, having relations
with your partner, with my beautiful wife, him with it
his but how we just aren't as young as we
used to be, and Doug, I can't kids, you don't
want to hear this, like my stomach cramping up because

(01:03:57):
you know, oh my god, to where I just gotta lay,
you know, I gotta stop what I'm doing and either
stand up and try to, you know, straighten myself out,
get that Charlie horse out the leg the Charlie horse
behind right behind the knee. Oh my god, kid.

Speaker 1 (01:04:14):
And it is the worst pain when you're in the
throes of when you and because it always happens on
the on the not on the extension, but when you're
dropping in and.

Speaker 2 (01:04:25):
You and you bought them out on the thrust. Yeah,
and then you get I mean, I feel so bad.
I can't kids again, you don't want to hear this.
I tell my wife wait wait wait wait wait, stop stop,
stop stop stop. She's like, what cramp. I'm like, yeah, yeah,
and dog, we're just I just gotta dude, I'm just

(01:04:45):
trying to straighten my legs out, dog. And Louise is
just laughing because he's like, I know exactly what you're
talking about. And the girls are just behind us laughing. Dude.

Speaker 1 (01:04:55):
I'm I'm afraid to have sex at this point in
my life. I'm so I'm so fucking out of shape.
And the other day, like I was, I had got
the mail and I'm walking to the to the to
the door, and I dropped a card a letter and
I looked down at it and I thought, well, like
I said, my son out.

Speaker 2 (01:05:13):
To get it.

Speaker 3 (01:05:15):
No, and I was like fuck.

Speaker 1 (01:05:17):
So I had to take a deep breath because I'm heavy,
so I can't just you know, you gotta think that
you gotta plan that shit out now, right, So I
took a deep breath that I'm I'm bending down and.

Speaker 2 (01:05:29):
She's starting to just starting.

Speaker 1 (01:05:30):
To spit like because I'm trying to pick it up
and I can't get my finger under the fucking envelope
and I didn't have any nails at the time, so
I'm trying to fucking get it and I'm trying. Oh
my god, I'm gonna fucking pass out. Finally, I fucking
I grabbed it and I stood up and ooh, and
I'm like, fuck, dude, I'm in no shape to have
any kind of sexual relations like I would be so

(01:05:51):
fucking I did twenty minutes. I'd be lucky if I
could last like five minutes, three minutes. There was a
there was a something I was watching one time, and
I'll let you talk about there was there was a
lesbian on and it was some kind of showing and
I don't remember if it was on a podcast, if
it was on a show. It was those little comedy clips,

(01:06:14):
is what it was. And she was talking about she
was the dude of the relationship and then she would
have to put on a strap on.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
To fuck her girlfriend.

Speaker 1 (01:06:26):
And she was talking about how she says, you know
when I was when I was straight, or I was
ever laying down with a dude because sometimes she just
needs some dick. She says, I never I never gave
you guys enough credit because three minutes of sitting there
with your arms straight out and going like this, she says,
that's a lot of motherfucking work. The three minutes is

(01:06:48):
a long motherfucking time. So you bitches out there, you
need to be that dude fucking dying laughing at that shit.

Speaker 2 (01:06:54):
But you know, a couple of weeks ago, uh uh,
we were going to bed and I think I got
I care, I got I was, I got done taking
a shower or or whatever. I don't remember exactly what
I was doing, but she was already in bed, and
so I was going on my side and you know,

(01:07:18):
I thought I was how should I say this given signals? No,
I thought I was being like for lack of a bed.
I was trying to be sexy, all right. I was
being the tiger coming onto its prey. Okay. So what

(01:07:40):
I did was I jumped on my side of the bed.
I tried to jump on all fours. Okay. So my
bed sin is kind of high, higher than I expected
for starting, because you know, because my wife, you know,
she was in bed and she was looking she was

(01:08:00):
looking good, you know what I'm saying. So I jumped
on my bed, you know, like again like a tiger
would be prancing on his prey. Right for starters. Again,
the bed was taller than I thought it was. So
my knees.

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Didn't you're like those little those like those little videos
of the fucking dogs that are running in trying to
jump on the couch and they fucking face first into
the couch.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
My number one, My knees didn't quite make it onto
the bed, which caused them not to actually bend. So
it was almost like oh dog to where she just
started busting up, laughing. I just I couldn't help it,

(01:08:46):
but fucking just bust up laughing because it was just
like I could just imagine what it looked like to
her what I was doing. I mean, she knew what
I was trying to go for, but the end result
was just yo, good night. I was just in a
hurry to get on the bed. I'm sorry. I hope
I didn't disturb you, ah bag kid, Just dude, what was.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
What was the one time besides that? What was the
one time where you like plan something or you try
to be really romantic and it fucking just it just
everything just fucking bottomed out went the wrong way.

Speaker 2 (01:09:28):
I I don't know. But it's funny because throughout the
day my wife and I won't we text each other.
You know, we don't sext each other, but you know
we we flirt. Yeah, we flirt and uh, you know
sometimes it's like oh yeah, it's not you're gonna get
it type deal, right, not necessarily like that, but you

(01:09:50):
know it's like that, right, But dog, once seven o'clock
comes around their midday, kid, oh it's on like Donkey Kong, right,
but comes seven o'clock. You know I was just bullshitting,
right fuck. Hey, you know the funny thing is also

(01:10:17):
it's one of those things that like when you're young
and you got all that energy. Uh, it's it's that
old saying youth is wasted on the young. You got
all that energy, but you ain't got your own crib.
You ain't. You ain't, you know you ain't. You ain't
got that nice king sized bed with the with the

(01:10:38):
four hundred thread count sheets. You you looking at corners,
you're looking at back seats. Yeah, you didn't give ship
wherever whatever, and here you know we have now that
we're empty nesters, we got the whole house. But it's like, yeah,
I catch the house the back in the car in
the garage, like fuck. Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:11:04):
So you guys have been married a little over twenty
five years, right.

Speaker 2 (01:11:08):
At thirty years next year kid, wow yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:11:11):
Wow, congratulations it's huge. So at thirty years, do you
guys still have date nights? Like planned date nights? Like
once a week, we're gonna go out and we're gonna
we'll go to dinner here. Well, every Thursday night we
go out to dinner, We go here, we go there, whatever,
or is it more spontaneous?

Speaker 2 (01:11:32):
Well, I mean, I don't know if you would call
it date night per se. It's like yeah, let's go
out to eat. We'll go out to eat Friday or what.
But is it like a consistent night like no, okay,
one thing we did again, This is the when the
idea comes, it's great, oh it's on, but you know,
the follow through is when it's like, oh my god,

(01:11:53):
we did say what we were gonna start doing is
the night that because she gets a rotating day off,
she gets Sunday and a rotating day. Okay, so we
were supposed to do the day that she has off,
Like let's say it's a Tuesday, we were supposed to
do a new restaurant. Yeah, so this week, you know, Tuesday,

(01:12:17):
we're gonna either we don't do it and I don't
even think I'll mean, I don't even think we have
done it, and b when we do, we do go
out to dinner where you want to go, where you
want to go, and we always want we always wind
up with like at the casino. Oh that's funny, All
let's just go to casino because they got bomb ass

(01:12:37):
chicken wing I mean chicken wings and pizza, either one
the one in cat City or the one right here
by you. Oh yeah, and that's that's like our hotspot.
We always go there, but we're supposed to be trying
someplace different every time.

Speaker 1 (01:12:53):
That's fucking creature comfort, dude, creature comfort.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
So okay, so, uh, thirty years this next.

Speaker 1 (01:13:00):
Year, uh still go out, go out to dinner on
a fairly regular brasis.

Speaker 2 (01:13:07):
Yeah, I would agree to that.

Speaker 1 (01:13:10):
So probably up until maybe ten years ago, there was
probably still a lot of spontaneity to where, you know,
if you were somewhere and you'd be like, just go
outside a quick, be me in the bathroom, or be
me at the in the dressing rooms real quick, and
then we'll just get in whatever we can.

Speaker 2 (01:13:35):
I yeah, I don't remember any of that. No, No,
where's the craziest place place? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:13:41):
Yeah, we can't talk about that.

Speaker 2 (01:13:43):
Okay, what's the second craziest place? We've only done it twice?

Speaker 1 (01:13:51):
Okay, Well, you're a fucking good shop bro twice and
you have two kids. That's pretty crazy. So at some
point when you had kids, you guys had to do
like did you guys, did you guys ever do like
sex appointments? No, baby, I'm busy. We're gonna have to
do like I could, I could. We gotta squeeze it

(01:14:11):
in like on a Thursday. No, no, no, we tried
that for a while, uh, and then that day would
come out and we'd end up in a fucking argument
and I didn't get none anyway, So like, fuck, So
at your age now and being married this long, do

(01:14:35):
you make appointments or do you just kind of you
kind of just said it though, right, like we we
fuck around and then by the time it comes in, Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
Well it on both parts. It becomes noticeable if it
hasn't happened in a few days. Okay, So then I
guess you could say, yes, we do make it a
point to do it because that need is there, right,
So yes, in a sense, yeah, again, it's noticeable when

(01:15:06):
you say noticeable, what do you mean, Like you start
getting that urge like damn, oh okay, and it's like,
oh shit, you know it's been okay.

Speaker 1 (01:15:13):
Because that intimacy is important as as much as you know,
being there for each other, sharing bills, sharing food, sharing space,
sharing the air, you fucking breathe, all that shit's important,
but getting it in is is just as important because
that creates that that bond, that that that it just secures.

Speaker 2 (01:15:34):
Everything for you, right, Like, yeah, I could say that.

Speaker 3 (01:15:36):
I wouldn't say that.

Speaker 1 (01:15:37):
I wouldn't say that it's a bandited for problems, but
it it. I think it just helps solidify the relationship
and keep that closeness that's important to help you get
through those situations at those trying times.

Speaker 2 (01:15:52):
Fair.

Speaker 1 (01:15:53):
Yeah, so at thirty years, and but you guys have
been together for like thirty five seven years? Uh?

Speaker 2 (01:16:03):
Dog? Like forty kid, No, fifty five? Like thirty five? Yeah,
thirty five years. It's gotta be longer than that.

Speaker 1 (01:16:11):
So thirty five years just eighty eight okay, so eighty
eight two would make it ninety So that's thirty five,
thirty five, thirty seven years. So if you after thirty
seven years with the same woman, you guys don't have
to talk about it anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
You don't have to make an appointment for it anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:16:32):
Is there a certain way that you can look at
her and she knows, oh, he wants you can touch
her a certain way when you're walking by her and
she knows.

Speaker 2 (01:16:42):
Well, of course you're grabbing at certain body parts or
rubbing up against certain body parts. Two not your own
hers though, right, it's a two way street. I mean,
don't get me wrong. She's she has needs as well, right,
and she lets me know about them in the same ways. So, yeah,
is there is there.

Speaker 1 (01:17:04):
Was there a time where she tried to give it
the signal and either you were.

Speaker 3 (01:17:09):
Like, I don't know, I'm gonna act like I didn't
fucking I'm tired go to.

Speaker 1 (01:17:13):
Bed, and you didn't feel like telling her that you
didn't want to because it would have been a bigger issue.

Speaker 2 (01:17:19):
No, because at this point in time, uh, we kind
of know each other, right that, Yeah, I know, and
she knows it's not gonna happen, right, So, like this
time of year is rough because it's so hot outside
and we work so much, I bet and both of
you work outside. It's not like so it's like it's rough.

Speaker 1 (01:17:39):
So you either got to wake her up and get
it in the morning or or it's not gonna happen, right.

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
Like I wouldn't say that, but you know, it's just
it would It's it's more infrequent than it is frequent,
right do you guys? Ever, way, you gotta remember something,
my daughter was born there by both my kids were
scheduled to be born August September. Okay, they were both early.

Speaker 3 (01:18:02):
Before the summer or in the middle of the summer.

Speaker 2 (01:18:05):
Right after the summer. Okay, well end the summer. Yeah,
but they both came early. Like my son was very early.
I almost wanted to say a month or month and
a half because he was he was a real previous.
He was early as well. But what I'm trying to
say is you got to remember they were said to
be born at that time. Okay, that means they were

(01:18:27):
made in the winter.

Speaker 3 (01:18:30):
Oh, that would makes sense.

Speaker 1 (01:18:32):
So your daughter's birthday is in one month, she's this
month in August, okay, and your son's is September June.

Speaker 2 (01:18:39):
But he was supposed to say, like I say, he
was like a month or two early, so he also
was in August or September. Yeah, there were New Year's babies.
Uh yeah around there.

Speaker 1 (01:18:50):
But almost yeah, because if they were, if they were
both earlier, then that would make them New Year's babies
because they were, you know, supposed to be ten months
from the time nine. No, it's ten. I know everybody
says nine, but it's ten nine and a half weeks.
It's a good movie.

Speaker 2 (01:19:10):
What huh? Why you say ten because it's ten? How's
it ten?

Speaker 3 (01:19:15):
Because it's ten.

Speaker 1 (01:19:18):
By the time the baby's born, it's ten It starts
the ninth month, and then by the time it's born
it's the tenth month.

Speaker 2 (01:19:26):
It's ten months. Okay, so I'm gonna look that up.

Speaker 3 (01:19:33):
When have I ever lie? Do you broke him on?

Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
I don't know if I already said, like my son,
he came so early that he was in the hospital
for like a month. Oh wow, yeah he was. He
was a tiny kid. I didn't know that my son
was tiny. And uh, he was in there for like
a month on the machines. And then when we finally
brought him home, we had to take one in the

(01:19:57):
machines home with us. Oh shit, so he like a
band I remember right. It was around his chest. It
was like it was a heart monitor. Okay, and so
just in case, you know, his heart stopped, we had
to get, you know, some help. That was a pain
in the ass because sometimes that monitor will go off incorrectly,

(01:20:21):
so in middle of night, that shit will go off.
I don't know how you even slept, dog. It was rough,
all right.

Speaker 1 (01:20:28):
So a pregnancy is typically referred to as lasting nine months,
but it's actually around forty weeks long, which is a
little over nine months. A full term pregnancy can range
from thirty nine to forty weeks, which is approximately ten
months when counting by calendar months.

Speaker 2 (01:20:52):
But did you also hear what you said in the
beginning of that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:55):
Yeah, it's typically referred to as nine months, and that's
what I said. Did I know that's what people say,
but it's actually ten months? And then he said, no,
it's nine months.

Speaker 2 (01:21:08):
And okay, this popped up on my phone the other
day when he first got brought home.

Speaker 3 (01:21:15):
Oh wow, he was small.

Speaker 2 (01:21:18):
He was a tiny kid. Wow. So was it they
sent you home with the with the heart monitor? Was he?
Oh wow?

Speaker 3 (01:21:34):
He looked at two beeter bottle?

Speaker 1 (01:21:38):
Yeah, so what were they? Was his h heart weak?
Or were they just making sure because he was born early.

Speaker 2 (01:21:49):
I think it was just because to make sure because
he was born early. See like this picture right here?
Oh wow, look at h the cables.

Speaker 3 (01:22:03):
Oh yeah, damn.

Speaker 2 (01:22:05):
Oh you were dark.

Speaker 3 (01:22:09):
Sorry I was man mad dark?

Speaker 2 (01:22:13):
Yeah, come on, yeah, you were lying ship.

Speaker 1 (01:22:18):
But yeah, so he was about two months early. Did
you have to teach him how to suckle or did
he know how to do that, like teach him how
to eat.

Speaker 2 (01:22:32):
Out of a bottle? Uh? I don't remember.

Speaker 3 (01:22:38):
Did he have what they call a garbage tube to
feed him.

Speaker 2 (01:22:42):
The tube and he had to feed him with the
fucking little plunger. I did. The nurses did that, and
then uh, my wife she always try uh uh breastfeeding
and stuff, but he just he was so small. It
took a took a minute to friend to latch on
and stuff. Did your wife go through the postpartum depression

(01:23:09):
and all that? No? No, No, she's a trooper. Yeah
she's she's pretty strong. But one thing though, is uh
uh say, Ship forgot what I was gonna say, brain
funk because I'm looking at these pictures. That's what you're

(01:23:31):
talking about right there. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:23:32):
Yeah, Yeah, he had a lot of hair.

Speaker 2 (01:23:35):
Your wife had a lot of heartburn with him.

Speaker 1 (01:23:40):
I don't think they say when when a baby's harry
that the mom has a lot of heartburn.

Speaker 2 (01:23:47):
Oh we.

Speaker 3 (01:23:49):
Did.

Speaker 2 (01:23:49):
She have a lot of cravy.

Speaker 1 (01:23:50):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:23:50):
What I was gonna say was, uh, he was actually
gonna be earlier than that, oh, Ship, And she had
to she had to be in the hospit for about
a month before he was actually born because he was
trying to come out so early, and they were like, nah,
he's not done baking. Yet you got to keep him
in there. So they were like, you cannot like walk around,

(01:24:12):
you can't. So they stuck her in the hospital for
a month, tighter knees together and said don't move. Yeah,
pretty much. Holy shit, bro, let me tell you that
was a rough month for me. I bet you had
to have my daughter. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:24:25):
I was gonna say, holy shit, did you did your
brother and uh and his wife help?

Speaker 2 (01:24:32):
No? You did it all by yourself. Yeah, pretty much
like uh, my mom was still working at the time.
Uh so it was pretty much I'd wake her up,
I wake up, get her ready, take her to the city,
go to work, pick her up from the citter, pick
up pizza, and go home pretty much and just go
to the hospital, go business for a little while. Yeah,

(01:24:56):
it was a rough month.

Speaker 1 (01:24:57):
Yeah, you had her. You couldn't stay there at the
hospital with your wife. Oh wow, that's crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:25:04):
And then she would sleep with me because you know
I ken't, and now now I could. I remember uh
being nervous, like rolling over on her and stuff. Right,
that was the one thing, bro.

Speaker 1 (01:25:17):
I never my kids never slept with us in the bed. YEP,
I said, nope, they're not going to sleep in here,
so they cannot sleep with us in this bed. Said
there's no way. I'm we're gonna roll over on him
and and I get up too early, and it's just
gonna it's gonna cause him ass. No, I said, then
they're gonna fuck around, and I need to be able
to sleep.

Speaker 2 (01:25:35):
I can't do that.

Speaker 1 (01:25:38):
So one night Milo Milo had he's got the bigger
will of the two of them, the bigger fight, and
that kid man. One night he came into the room
and he wanted to.

Speaker 2 (01:25:47):
Sleep with Nope.

Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
I picked him up, took him back to his room
and said, nope, this is your room, your big boys.
We're gonna sleep. Put him in his bed, walk back
to my room. No sooner did I lay down than
he was climbing back in the bed. I told him
just at one time, and I picked him up. I
must have picked him up and put him back in
his bed for the next two hours, because I'd go
put him down and he'd come right back and pick

(01:26:09):
him up, Go put him down, and he's sitting there
crying and screaming, and pick him up, Go put him down,
pick him up, go put him down. There's a one
fight I was gonna have that one night and it
was gonna be done sure enough. After that, he slept
in the room, like he figured out, the fuck, that's
not fucking around, I'm not sleeping in there.

Speaker 2 (01:26:23):
My son slept with us for a minute.

Speaker 1 (01:26:26):
Kid.

Speaker 2 (01:26:27):
But let me tell you, and part of it in
his defense. Uh, you know, my wife and I we
bought our first house and then we had the kids
and we sold it to build a house. Okay, so
we want we wanted up living with my mom for
about two years. Okay, so during that too, I mean

(01:26:51):
he was probably one, maybe two years old, I don't remember.
So when we moved in with my mom, we all
slept in this same room, the same bed. Once in
a while my daughter would suit sleep with my mom,
but four of us in one bed.

Speaker 3 (01:27:10):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:27:10):
For two years it was the King, yes, California King.
But it was still tight. I mean we were in
one bedroom.

Speaker 3 (01:27:20):
That's a lot.

Speaker 2 (01:27:20):
So I mean, he that's pretty much all he knew.
So when we finally moved into our house, he still
slept with us, and plus he had the bedroom furthest
from us, so like he was scared, right, you know,
So I mean that's cool and all, and then what
happened is he'd fall asleep, and we'd all fall asleep,

(01:27:43):
and eventually one of us, my wife would wake up
and pick him up and take him to his bed.
It was good, right, It was like he just had
to fall asleep with us, and that was it, right.
So but it got to the point, sorry, Papa, It
got to the point to where he he was so big.
I'd walk him to his bed, like he was up

(01:28:05):
to my chest already.

Speaker 3 (01:28:07):
How old was he?

Speaker 2 (01:28:07):
Still sleepy? He was old kid, old and the funnies.
It was cute, like when it was time to go
to sleep, like we do all we generally as a family,
we would go to sleep at the same time, right,
So we'd go to sleep, and like he'd be gone already,
like it was time to go to sleep. We turned
shutting the house down, turn off the TV, turn off lights,

(01:28:29):
he'd already be gone, and he's already been in the bed,
like under the covers, like, you know, not making a
big deal of it. I'm just here. I'm just here,
you know, I'm not taking up room, right, and you know,
And so again they got to the point where we'd
be walking him to his bed. Wow. And and now

(01:28:53):
now The running joke is like I I want him
to sleep with us, like if he comes down to visit, right, so,
you know, like you're gonna sleep with me tonight. He's like, no,
come on, I'll go I'll sleep with you in your bed.
And he's like, nope, Dad, you keep saying that I'm
gonna get a hotel you around, I come visit, Dog,
I kill for sleep with us again. Really, yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 1 (01:29:16):
I Uh, you know what's funny is I remember, like
with Milo, like when he was younger, Like he would
come and we'd be watching TV or we'd watch a
movie and he'd come and snuggle up to me. Kid
wanted nothing to know, nothing to do with me. Barely
Hi Dad, by Dad, Like he's gotten a lot better.
I shouldn't say that he's gotten a lot better, talk

(01:29:36):
a lot more and and and uh, our relationships is
a lot better.

Speaker 2 (01:29:39):
But those days are long and gone.

Speaker 1 (01:29:42):
Like I barely get a like I gotta give him
a hug, like and not in public at the house,
like it's just us. Like sometimes you just want to
fucking hug. And I'll go to give him a hug
and like I put.

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
My arms on he's like.

Speaker 1 (01:29:54):
Tapping me on the shoulders, like, come on, give me
a fucking give me a real hug. Oh God, Dad, Jesus,
what's wrong? Okay, Yes, I'm finny. I just need a hug, fucker,
Just give me a hug. Already pretty funny, pretty gosh
darn funny.

Speaker 2 (01:30:10):
Yeah, I mean again, it as much of a headache
it is when they're little and you don't want them
to sleep with you and stuff. Like I said, man,
I kill for him to sleep with us again. Yeah right? Yeah?
So like, who's got young kids? Who do we know
as young? Uh? Raymond Maganya. Okay, he's got two little girls, dog,

(01:30:33):
enjoy that? Yeah, let them sleep with you? So what? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:30:38):
Party times over? Anyways, Bro, they're keeping you from having more.
It's good, don't Worrybut you're saving you money, the savings playing.

Speaker 3 (01:30:47):
You don't even know it yet.

Speaker 2 (01:30:50):
But next year, like we say, is our thirtieth. My
old lady's already planning trips. Dog, Come on, like we're
doing another cruise, probably like a nice one, yeah, dog,
nicer than the ones you were. Like, where are you
gonna go? Now? Where it's left? I think, Uh, what

(01:31:10):
are you gonna go? Across? The pond Domingo. Does that
sound right? Yeah, I think it's gonna be something like that. Kid.
I think we gotta fly to Florida in order to
get on the boat. Wow. Yeah, it's a big one.
Six and a half hours on the plane, seven hours,
uh somewhere on on there and then do you have
a layover?

Speaker 3 (01:31:30):
Probably not a direct Flight's gonna be a layover more likely.

Speaker 2 (01:31:33):
Yeah, it's still in the uh in the works.

Speaker 3 (01:31:37):
Well, yeah, what do you guys go to Dubai? Hello,
O don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:31:45):
I don't plan these things. Come on, Stop putting ideas
out there, kid, miss you heard it here first. He's
down to go to Dubai. It's on now because of
the cruise that they're talking about. Yeah, like I said,

(01:32:05):
I think I've said this before. Your phone is always listening, kid, Yes, always, dog.
It's incredible. So YouTube cruise videos popping up all right,
Jesus bro. When you get a second type in Tyler

(01:32:27):
Carnival Cruise, Tylerni kid named Tyler Carnival Cruise. It's it's
this kid was singing karaoke. It's probably like eighteen years old,
maybe six eighteen, somewhere around there. Brouh. The cruise has

(01:32:49):
like big rooms, okay, seating everywhere, like you can consider
it a big club, all right, like a lounge. Yeah,
but they're big. Okay, Bro, my man went up there
and sang a Keith Sweat song. Kid is eighteen years old.

(01:33:11):
You know about Keith swe exactly. Bro. It is the
funniest thing. And I'm just gonna say it all right,
ninety five percent of people in there were black, and
you got this white kid going up there and killing

(01:33:32):
it and killed the kid and they were cheering him
on and again. How does he even know this song? Right?
And the way it starts again, when you see it,
you'll know. And it was just like. What makes it
even funnier are the comments Bra talking about Tyler is

(01:33:53):
not only invited to the cookout, but he gets a
plus one to the wedding. Tyler didn't have to pay
for another drink on this the rest of his cruise.
I bet he didn't. How many mixed babies were born
on this cruise through Tyler our dog. The comments are hilarious.

(01:34:14):
The one that stands out to me too, is it says,
you know mom and you know Colon Tyler go out
there and make new friends. Tyler bet Like, that's what
I said, right, You asked for mom dog type again?
YouTube Tyler Carnival Cruise and what and the funny is

(01:34:35):
what makes it funny too, is there's like different from
different angles because so many people Dog Carnival Cruise gave
this dude like a couple of free cruises because it's
just free. He met Keith Sweat. He went to Keith
Sweat's house and met him. Bro Tyler got hooked up. Wow,

(01:34:56):
he's white kid with a hoodie baseball cat backwards. I
think he might have been wearing some slides with white socks. Fuck.
Dog is the funniest.

Speaker 1 (01:35:08):
Where his toes hanging out in front of the slides.
That's when you know it's legit.

Speaker 2 (01:35:12):
You know what I mean? Oh man, but she is funny. Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:35:19):
You gotta any shout outs to any birthdays because I
know we got a whole bunch that we've busted that
we needed.

Speaker 2 (01:35:23):
We've been not at for about an hour forty uh yeah,
not too many actually no, all right, but one very
important one. Aria, my goddaughter's daughter. Okay, she turned thirteen Saturday.
That's where we went to up crust. Oh Okay, so
she's officially a teenager.

Speaker 1 (01:35:44):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:35:44):
And one of her gifts from her parents was her
first cell phone. Nice. And we tried to figure out
when my kids got their first what grade they were
when they got their first because she's going into eighth grade. Okay,
so I don't remember when my kids got their first
cell phones at what age because you know, you try

(01:36:05):
to prolong that as long as possible. Well, I'm trying
to think your kids.

Speaker 1 (01:36:12):
It would have been about your son was probably about eight.

Speaker 2 (01:36:17):
Years ago, nine years ago when he hit middle school. Uh,
I don't know. He's turning twenty five this year.

Speaker 1 (01:36:26):
So that would have been well, that's ten years, ten
to eleven years ago. So shit, what was big back?
Did they even have an iPhone back then? No?

Speaker 2 (01:36:36):
I actually my wife and I talked about this. His
first phone. I don't know which one, this one was
called no, but his second one, but his first one,
the screen slid up and a keyboard was under it.
Oh yeah, not a keyboard, but the numbers.

Speaker 3 (01:36:52):
Said the razor, the Motorola razor.

Speaker 2 (01:36:55):
Is that what it was? There was JANKI he was
like thick razor was thin because his second phone, both
kids had the second phone, which was the sidekick, the
key the full keyboard slid out from the side of it.
That was a long ass time ago, bro, good lord,
yeah kid, but I just we just could remember exactly

(01:37:18):
when they got their first cell phone.

Speaker 3 (01:37:20):
Was it? Was it a BlackBerry?

Speaker 2 (01:37:23):
No, they never got blackberries, Dad, they never got That
was a little too high tech for him because I
don't remember.

Speaker 1 (01:37:33):
Uh who had that the phone that slid like that,
Sony was Sony did that where it was small and
then they'd slide it up and the numbers were behind
it underneath.

Speaker 2 (01:37:48):
Uh yeah, that's how that one was. Yeah, but I
believe it was a Sony. The sidekick was off the
hook though you turned it sideways and there's the keyboard.

Speaker 1 (01:38:00):
Yeah, that was the big That was like the birth,
like the first like the birth of texting, like the
real real birth of texting.

Speaker 3 (01:38:10):
What's that sidekick?

Speaker 2 (01:38:13):
Sidekick was the joint I'm trying to find because you know,
I got pictures of everything.

Speaker 3 (01:38:20):
Uh yeah, you're a picture ticket mofo.

Speaker 2 (01:38:23):
Bro. Yeah, that's my thing.

Speaker 1 (01:38:26):
Somebody was asking about that the other day, about pictures
and uh they were talking about they were asking about
because my boy Rick works will be there at CarMax,
and you know, I've known him and we've been in
the car scene for a long time and talking about
how my dad used to be with the cab.

Speaker 2 (01:38:48):
Drifters and stuff. Cab drifters.

Speaker 3 (01:38:50):
Yeah, it was a It was.

Speaker 1 (01:38:52):
A car club for trucks because my dad had a
fifty six forward and everybody that was in there had
either the Ford or they had that that like the Chevy.
I think it was called a Comanche, which it was
like a fifty seven and had slanted forward. It was
super nice and everybody had their own, you know, their

(01:39:14):
their uniqueness to their cars. There was a guy out
of Indio. They used to call him green Bean because
his truck was Candy Green. And I believe there was
another guy that used to do cement and I can't
remember his name. He actually helped put all the cement there.

(01:39:34):
My dad's pad across across the way right there, and uh,
but I was showing pictures of I must have been
about fucking seven maybe, and I'm in fucking overalls and
a white T shirt and I'm sitting underneath the capture
sign and then there was a there's a picture of
my dad and all the dudes that were in the

(01:39:55):
in the club in front of their trucks, and it
used to be at the uh so if you're going
into if you're going into Coachella and uh you go
into Coachella, and across the street is the so on
Harrison Street. Across the street is the Kentucky Fried Chicken
Smart and Final YadA YadA. Across where the picture was taken.

(01:40:21):
There used to be in Alpha Beta and there used
to be a Sears that was there. Now it's an
indoor swamp meet on the corner a place it sells
and then they have like a uh.

Speaker 2 (01:40:37):
A kinga store there and there.

Speaker 1 (01:40:42):
So they have a picture of all these guys standing there,
bro and it was funny to look at because they
were they were like our our age or probably early twenties,
early thirties when they were in the club, and they
all had white T shirts on, they all had tan dickies,
and not one fucking dude in that picture had tennis
shoes on. They all had fucking work shoes. It was

(01:41:05):
such a trip dude looking at it and you're like, fuck,
They're like, that's like a fucking piece of history. Like
that's crazy to look at that picture and know that
somehow that you were involved with it and you were
there at that point in life, and it's just you
look at you and it's so disjointed from anything and
everything that we know today. Like if you took a

(01:41:26):
picture of everybody that was in a car club now,
fucking pants hanging off their ass, fucking oversized T shirts,
hat on backwards, you know, hoodies, just and totally different,
you know what I mean. And by the way, to
today's my dad's maybe rest in pieces birthday, So happy birthday.

Speaker 2 (01:41:45):
Pops, Happy birthday.

Speaker 1 (01:41:47):
He was born in nineteen thirty seven, so he'd have
been what so forty that's sixty sixty, that's eighty five,
eighty five, he'd have been eighty seven, Damn, I think yeah,
because he was eight and he'd be older than maybe

(01:42:09):
it's ninety seven.

Speaker 3 (01:42:11):
No, I could have been that old.

Speaker 1 (01:42:13):
He's closer probably to about ninety three because he was
he said he was born when thirty seven, because that
would be seventy eighty nine. Wow, in eighty nine, bro, Damn, Yeah,
it's been it's been about six seven years since you've

(01:42:33):
got you Well, right.

Speaker 2 (01:42:35):
No, I'm just saying because like my mom's seventy nine.

Speaker 3 (01:42:38):
Oh wow, okay, wow, yep, yep, yep.

Speaker 2 (01:42:45):
My sister in law, my children's godmother, both of them.
Her birthday is the twelfth. Cool her Happy birthday, Lydia,
Happy birthday. My brother in Puerto Rico, Jesse, he's turning
thirty six on the eighteenth.

Speaker 1 (01:43:04):
Oh wow, every birthday, Jesse. When you started that out,
my brother in Portorigo, what are.

Speaker 2 (01:43:08):
You talking about? My wife, she's like, I catch your
brother's birthday card. I was like what she was doing?
I was like, oh shit, that's right now, okay, okay,
thank you. Now your brother being like, fuck are heating
when you send it to this old aade? Send it
to me? Uh. Nephew's daughter, Mela, baby Mila. She turns

(01:43:33):
nine on the twenty second. Wow, almost the double digits
getting there, bro. Yep. My nephew AJ, his son is
turning three on the twenty fifth, So her birthday, little AJ,
and the big one I'm same on the twenty fifth.

(01:43:58):
My baby girl, she'll be twenty five.

Speaker 3 (01:44:02):
Oh no, the birthday is twenty five.

Speaker 2 (01:44:04):
She gonna be well, my son's gonna be twenty five.
She's two years older. So you guys do the math
because I can't tell girls as ages on this thing.
She's gonna be twenty seven. Happy birthday, baby girl? Can
that be birthday? I'm not sure what we're doing. I
think we are going out there one weekend taking her
out to dinner.

Speaker 1 (01:44:25):
I'll just say, you gonna take her anywhere, specially you
guys going like Universal Studios.

Speaker 2 (01:44:33):
My nephew aj they were gonna take his son to
not's Berry Farm, so you know, they had put it
out the word out, yea, we're going to not Erry Farm.
And my wife's like, all right, we'll be there. I'm like,
and jy, hold on, Aja, I just close your ears
real quick.

Speaker 3 (01:44:51):
When was the last time you've been to tonight?

Speaker 2 (01:44:53):
Was Verry Farm? When my kids were probably in middle school,
not even middle school.

Speaker 3 (01:45:00):
Now Dick has changed. I tripped out.

Speaker 1 (01:45:05):
I went I went there a few years ago, and
I was like, I'd never realized or remembered it being
that small. Like it was just like it was just
a trip walking through there and it was just like
fuck like and you hear fucking They had said something
about uh. They started out saying that it was gonna
be knots Bearing Farm. That was closing, and it's not

(01:45:26):
it's gonna be it's gonna end up being Great America,
which is in San Jose.

Speaker 2 (01:45:30):
Well, it implied it was gonna well to us Southern California.
We thought it was gonna be managed Mountain right. But yeah, uh,
I'll be honest with you. I don't see myself going
to either Knots or Disneyland until when and if I
have grandkids, because I ain't about to be going in

(01:45:53):
those lines. I ain't about to be standing out in
that he I'm good.

Speaker 1 (01:45:59):
I heard that if you go to Universal Studios that
it's worth paying for the VIP because VIP you have
your own person that takes you to rides, you get
to do you and you get right in front all
the way.

Speaker 2 (01:46:16):
Line, you know. Similar to Coachella, the concert I've never been.

Speaker 3 (01:46:23):
I've never been.

Speaker 2 (01:46:23):
Either wife and I have spoken about it, but I
think we kind of talked to yourselves out of it,
not talk to us. We aged out.

Speaker 3 (01:46:30):
Okay, but that's not the way you wanted to say that.

Speaker 2 (01:46:33):
But eight years ago we were like, yo, if we go,
we got to get the VIP. It's two or three
times the amount. But I ain't trying to be no
general population, people doing drugs, thinking crowded, yo. Because I
had a customer that went VIP and he was like, Yo,

(01:46:55):
if you go, this is the way you got clean bathrooms,
air conditioning units, bars. You know, it's done right right,
but you're paying for it. You know, the parking, it's
it's a whole another level experience. Yeah, So it was like, yes,
if we were to go, if we were still to go,
that's that's the only way I would go. Well, I think.

Speaker 1 (01:47:21):
At our age, if it's the first time you've gone,
if you should go VIP. If it's the second time
you've gone, it's definitely the way to go is VIP.
If you were younger than us, if you were forty
or below, you need to go general admission because that

(01:47:45):
that's what Coachella is about. It's about that fucking experience
bumping into motherfuckers doing drugs with people you don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:47:53):
Like, let's call it what it is. You know what
I mean, you're standing around smoking. What are you doing
in all actuality? You know the acts now, Yo, I
don't know half of them. So for me to go,
I mean it's gotta be yo. You gotta have kids
you gotta you know what I'm saying. Who I'm just kidding,
but yeah, I mean concerts in general. Yo, I need

(01:48:15):
I need an assigned seat. Yo. I had problem going
on Southwest. Gotta find my own seat. Uh uh, I
need to pay for a seat and that's where I'm
gonna sit.

Speaker 3 (01:48:26):
Yeah, you too fucking much.

Speaker 1 (01:48:31):
Let me ask you a question if you were if
you were on say you were on Southwest, right, and
you're you gone on the plane, you had a sign
seating and you were sitting on the aisle okay, or
better yet, you were sitting by the window okay, And
this lady came in and she's sitting down and she's
gonna sit next to you with her kid.

Speaker 2 (01:48:50):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (01:48:50):
And she said, excuse me, mister dirt Puerto Rican sir,
my son would really love to sit by the window.

Speaker 2 (01:48:56):
Would you mind trading him? Would you do it? Probably?

Speaker 1 (01:49:02):
What if she said, hey, sir, can you get up
somebodys son can sit there because he wants to sit
by the window. If she said it nasty or with
an attitude, would you do it?

Speaker 2 (01:49:17):
Probably? Really? It also depends on how long the flight is.
I mean, if it's a six seven hour flight. I
ain't trying to sit in the middle. If I got
an end or the window. Yeah, you know, dad plays
a big part, you know, a little puddle jumper to
Vegas for forty minutes. What do I care?

Speaker 1 (01:49:38):
I think for me, I think it would depend on
how on a how the kids acting, and how the
mom comes out, because I think I would be like that.
I don't know if it's a skit or what it
was online. There's one where there was like, well, I
think you'd be doing a disservice if I got up
and let your child sit here. Your child needs to

(01:49:59):
understand it. He's not gonna get everything he wants.

Speaker 2 (01:50:01):
And he said, learn about your.

Speaker 1 (01:50:06):
Yeah, so you're trying to lecture somebody. Hell yeah, you're
trying to get in my seat ship. What do I
get out of it? The fuck out of here?

Speaker 2 (01:50:16):
I I you know, I got my headphones, I got
my ipid, like my iPad with a movie on it,
or I'm listening to music. I don't know, it doesn't matter,
of course, I would prefer a window or end, But
you know, again, if it's if it's a forty minute flight,
it's cool whatever.

Speaker 1 (01:50:31):
Okay, so let me let me change the scenario just
a little bit. What if Okay, so same thing. Excuse me, sir,
my son would really like to sit by the window.
I know that that's probably your signed seat, but would
you mind switching him out?

Speaker 2 (01:50:43):
All if you want to sit on the end, you can,
you can sit on the end. Well, yeah, I'm not
gonna sit between them, right.

Speaker 1 (01:50:48):
He'd be like, all right, cool. But she's a large lady,
So that means that part of her is gonna fucking
sink over into your seat. Are you still gonna do it? Well?

Speaker 2 (01:50:59):
Yeah, because she'll probably be sitting next to me. Anyways.
What makes you think that the sun was sitting in
the middle?

Speaker 1 (01:51:06):
Oh yeah, yeah, she's not gonna want herself.

Speaker 2 (01:51:11):
He's trying to the middle. I'm just trying to you
know what i mean.

Speaker 1 (01:51:14):
I'm trying to be real about the scenario, like, you know,
forcing reality on you. I'm just saying, so you're cool
with fab people, then all of them but me, I

(01:51:37):
would have been so fucked up any other shout out that.

Speaker 2 (01:51:41):
That's it? But again, two things, what's that? Tyler Carnival
cruise Tyler Carnival and Happy Birthday, Baby girl.

Speaker 3 (01:51:48):
And Happy Birthday next week fingers crossed, Fingers crossed.

Speaker 1 (01:51:55):
Yes, I don't remember what days off I have next week,
but we'll get that figured out and we'll let you
guys know here real soon.

Speaker 3 (01:52:00):
Thank you so much and love you guys.

Speaker 2 (01:52:02):
Appreciate you checking us out. You want to take stamata
mm hmm