Pennsylvania author/former higher education professional Jessica L. Morris talks about her latest release “Higher Powered: One Woman’s Journey of Personal Eschatology” introducing “personal Eschatology” weaving stories about Nicodemus, Lazarus, and the Apostle Paul illustrating how Jesus’ comments about the second coming were symbolic in nature, not the end-of-the-world, but personal interaction with Him! Jessica previously worked for over 30 years in higher education before leaving the profession, raised by a small town minister who battled alcoholism as Jessica suffered childhood trauma, found a way recover at 29 from food and alcohol addiction and began her spiritual journey taking an introduction class “Individual Spiritual Direction” and graduating in May of ’20 from Moravian Theological Seminary with a certification in Spiritual Direction & Master of Arts in Theological Studies, plus her other release “Dewdrops: A Daily Devotional”! Check out the amazing Jessica Morris and her latest release on many major platforms and www.jessicalmorris.com today! #podmatch #jessicamorris #jessicalmorris #author #higherpowered #personaleschatology #eschatology #personaljourney #nicodemus #lazarus #apostlepaul #secondcoming #jesuschrist #moraviantheologicalseminary #dewdrops #spreaker #iheartradio #spotify #applemusic #youtube #anchorfm #bitchute #rumble #mikewagner #themikewagnershow #mikewagnerjessicalmorris #themikewagnershowjessicalmorris
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and The Sense is Wighing. Eric Daimond with all of
Me Eric Daimsia dot com, check on YouTube, Spotify, Facebook
and more. New release coming soon. We're here with a
terrific lady who's an author who walked away from her
her job for over thirty years working higher education, raised
by a small town minister and dealt with number of issues,
(01:40):
found a way to recover at twenty nine from food
and alcohol addiction and began spiritual journey you taking into
inter her classes which is individual spiritual direction. Graduated May
of twenty twenty from Merivian Theological Seminary Certificate and Spiritual
Direction Master of Arts and Theological Studies and has a
new book out in producing Personal Eschatology, weaving studies about
(02:03):
stories about Nicodemus, Lazarus and the Apostle Paul into Higher
Powered One Woman's Journey of Personal Eschatology, Life Laces and
Gentlemen plus studios from beautiful Downtown Reading, Pennsylvania. The amazing
author and also former higher education and the title of
book Higher Powers, One Woman's Journey of Personal Estatology Multi
talented Jessica Marris jess Kelly, Good morning, good afternoon, Giving.
(02:26):
Thanks for joined us today.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
Thank you, Mike.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
It's wonderful to be with you today.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
What's great to have you on board. Jessica's here an
author who walked away from your higher education position for
over thirty years. You're raised by a small town minister.
You find a way to recover twenty nine from food
and alcohol addiction. You began a spiritual journey, taking introduction
classes called Individual Spiritual Direction. You priested to graduate. You
also have a new book which introduces personal exatology, weaving
(02:52):
stories about Nicodemus, Lazarus, and the Apostle Paul illustrating how
Jesus' comments about the Second Coming were some bilo and
it's not about the end of war world, but personal
introduction of him. The books called Higher Powered One Woman's
during of Personal Eschatology. Before Jessica tell us I first
got started?
Speaker 7 (03:13):
Oh my, which part got started on? Which part?
Speaker 5 (03:16):
Way back of you, way back, way back.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
From So how life started? Well, unfortunately, my life was
what I like.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
To call now a surprise.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
What I was told as a child was a mistake,
and so I was brought into the world. I'm the
youngest of four to a Methodist minister. Small, very small town,
no traffic lights even, just really small town. And my
mom was a school teacher at the school, so you
can imagine everybody in the town knew my parents, and
(03:51):
of course anything we did as kids always got back
to my parents. And the other unfortunate pieces that my
father was an act active alcoholic for almost his entire life.
He did find recovery at one point much later, but
my entire growing up and young adulthood he was active alcoholic.
(04:13):
And my mother was raised by an alcoholic father, so
she was, you know, as you know, from dysfunction and
family disease of alcoholism.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
She was all in.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And she didn't even know she was all in, you know,
when she met my dad, they were like a matchmate
in hell, I guess you could say.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
But at a very young age, I at one point,
I don't even remember exactly what was happening, but I
was probably getting on my father's nerves, you know, and
he told me that I was a mistake. He told
me that my parents only wanted three children. And I
was very young at the time. I remember it clearly,
(04:55):
but I was very young. And I went to my
mother right away to find out if this was true,
and she did not deny it. She just said, he
shouldn't have told you that. And so what I heard
my parents telling me is what I thought God was
telling me. Because my father was the minister. He was
my minister, and he was my dad, and so I
(05:17):
pretty much just thought I was a mistake. And I
never told that to anybody because I thought even if
my siblings knew, they couldn't know this either. Because so
this was like the biggest secret of mine in the
whole world, that I was a mistake. And that's how
I went through life, you know, And I look back
on it now, and you know, I was so hard
(05:39):
on myself growing up because I thought if I were perfect,
you know, then my parents will see that I actually
have meaning. And I tried desperately to be perfect, and
you know, I couldn't be perfect, and so I failed
miserably at that. I tried for a long time with
grades and everything. But in and and you know, food,
(06:02):
you know, we talk about addiction being part of my
genetic makeup. Food is my first memory of life, Like
I remember sneaking food, I remember, you know. And I
don't want to say that it's my parents' fault in
the way they raised me, because I have three siblings
who are not food addicts, you know, so and my
(06:23):
mom and dad raised them the same way. So I,
you know, I just believe that addiction is part of
a genetic makeup, and it just depends which one we.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Choose, you know. And so for me, food has.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Always been a huge, huge part of my life, and
it was a I'm a volume what they call a
volume eater, you know. The more that I could get,
the better. It's called binging. You see it in bole
mix a lot where they eat volumes of food and
then they throw up to try to get rid of
the food. I tried to make myself throw up because
(06:58):
I wanted to be skinny, and I could. I couldn't
make myself. I tried everything and until I was introduced
to alcohol, and I recognized that alcohol would make me
throw up if I drank enough of it, And so
the two things started to play off of each other,
which was really dangerous. And how I rationalized that in
(07:20):
my head because I spent a lot of my child
really saying the word and really feeling hate towards my
father because he was physically abusive, he was mentally and
in fact, I'd rather he would have hit me than
some of the things that he said to me, because
the mental abuse was is the stuff that stays with you,
(07:41):
you know. And so when I started to drink heavily,
I just rationalized it away like I was having fun.
I was a nice person, I wasn't mean to people.
I wasn't hitting anybody, you know. I mean, those were
the things that I just kept telling myself, you know.
And for a long time, as addictions are, I was
able to hide these things in a way, or at
(08:04):
least I thought I was hiding them. But I was
able to keep my weight down because I played a
lot of sports growing up, and a young person's metabolism
is a lot different, you know, And so and I
would go out drinking, and yet at the same time,
I was able to keep my grades up up until
the time I was like midway through high school and
then it just started to fall apart. I was able
(08:29):
to get into college mainly because I was really good
field hockey player.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Wow, they're as they're known for field hockey out in
the East Coast, especially Pennsylvania and all that. That's very popular.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
So yeah, So I went to college to play field
hockey and also to find a husband. And of course,
you know, I had a major on the side that
I you know, as an English major on the side,
but because I liked to write and I like to read,
so that's what I picked. But the main goal was
to find a husband, and that failed miserably also, and
(09:05):
it was just a lot of just horrible decisions all
through college. I was what I like to call a
train wreck, now, you know. I mean it was just
the when I got into recovery and I had to
make amends with people. Significant amount of the people that
were on my list were from my college days because
I was just just not a good person, you know.
(09:29):
I was a good person who had a horrible disease,
let's say. And because I really that's not me. I
don't want to be a mean person. I don't want
to be a manipulative person, a selfish person, but my
diseases would not allow me to live any other way.
And anybody who's suffered an addiction, or has watched a
(09:50):
loved one suffer an addiction, knows that to be true.
You know the goal, you know, my goal was never
to be almost three hundred pounds. I'm five to four.
My goal was never to be that big, you know.
And at the same time, and I knew everything there
was to know about dieting, right, but I could not
(10:10):
stop myself from picking up the first bite. And once
I picked up the first bite, it set off the
physical addiction, It set off the whole thing, and I
couldn't stop.
Speaker 7 (10:23):
And by the time I was twenty.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Nine, you know, my body, I think had had enough,
but also mentally I was done. You know, my older sister,
who God lover, she practically raised me. She's six years
older than I am, and she came to me about
(10:46):
a year before I got into recovery. She came to
me and she told me, she said, I'm not gonna
watch you do this to yourself. I can't watch you
do to yourself what our dad did to our family
because we were all over the place, and I know
that was hard for her, and I'm so grateful that
she did it, But in the moment, I was hating
(11:06):
on her, like get out of my apartment, I hate you,
you know, and like, uh, yeah, how dare you say
I'm like dad? You know, Like that was just like
the most horrible things she could have said to me,
and at the same time, exactly what I needed to hear.
And Yeah, a year later, a counselor sent me to recovery,
(11:26):
a counselor that I went to to prove to.
Speaker 7 (11:28):
My sister that I wasn't an addict.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
That's why I went, I'm going to show her it's
not me, it's dad, you know, because I was still
blaming everything on my father at this point. And the
counselor said, you really need help, and it's not going
to come from me. You have a lot of issues,
but until you get these addictions under control, none of
the work we do in here is going to make
any difference because it's not going to stick. These are
(11:54):
blocks to any kind of therapeutic process that we can
go through. So I got into Rica, and thank God
for that woman too. You know, I look back on
this now and I see God putting these people in
my life, you know who directed me in the you know,
in the right direction. And the recovery community just wrapped
(12:15):
their arms around me and said, honey, you have earned
your seat. Sit down, shut up, and just start listening.
You know, because I thought I had all the answers,
even though I was a train wreck. I thought I
had all the answers, and I did not. And I
am so grateful to those those first women who just
(12:36):
listened to me. Oh, I was such a I was
such a mess. But luckily I was desperate. And that
is really important thing for me to share here. You know,
if you are an addict, or if you love someone
who is an addict, you cannot make them get desperate enough.
(12:57):
It has to happen for them to then it has
to be theirs.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
You know.
Speaker 7 (13:03):
I had an.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
When I was in high school.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
I had an.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Aunt who I loved so much. She was my favorite
family member. She was so much fun, the life of
the party. She was just so loving. She made all
my dress she was a beautiful seamtress. She made all
of our dresses for prom and all that stuff. She
was just this wonderful woman significantly overweight. I couldn't tell
(13:33):
you how much she weighed. She had a stroke when
I was sixteen, and from her weight and it took
her voice away. She was not able to speak anymore.
And it was absolutely heartbreaking because this woman who was
so vibrant and lively and wonderful and loving.
Speaker 7 (13:55):
When you'd go visit her, she'd just look at you
with this sadness in her eyes because she couldn't communicate.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
And it was horrifying. And that was not enough of
a warning for me. I was sixteen years old when
that happened. It took another thirteen years for me to
get into recovery.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Oh wow, okay, all right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
So like that, even seeing that happened to her and
knowing that's the road I'm going down, right, it didn't
stop me. It was And why did I get the
desperation at twenty nine, I don't know. Maybe because my sister,
who was really my best friend, who I really consider
my parent, you know, I mean not that my parents
(14:40):
didn't parent me, but she was the one who just
took care of me and protected me and all that
kind of stuff. And she was saying to me I'm
not going to watch you do this, and she backed
away enough that I like this loneliness set in. I
became I was suicidal a lot of my life, and
I think that goes with the mistake ism, you know,
(15:02):
like I might as well just end it now, you know,
because I'm not supposed to be here anyway. But towards
the end there, it became so incessant. All the time,
that's all I thought about, like how can I do
this and just end it?
Speaker 7 (15:17):
And it was just so lonely and horrible. And when
I walked into that first meeting and I heard people
talking about food the same way that I was using food,
and I literally did not think there was anybody else
in the world who did this. I thought I was
just a weak willed, pathetic person, you know, that couldn't
(15:38):
make herself throw up, so no one would help her.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
I mean literally, that's that's the lie that the disease
told me. And so those people, they welcomed me back,
They asked me to come back, They called me by name,
they knew my stories, they laughed, you know when they
were sharing and when I was sharing, and they helped
(16:02):
me to become a grown up.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
You know, Oh my gosh, that's so amazing. I'm thinking
about I'm thinking about the whole thing with food and
the connection and everything. Was there a plenty of food
in the house or was it like they had to
like scramble to get food or was it just like
on their salaries and everything was food considered scarce in
the house.
Speaker 7 (16:23):
Not really. I mean, let me put it to you
this way.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
I don't know how she did it, but my mom
was a master at managing money because she had a
husband who was spending money like a drunken salor, you know,
and then she had four kids. My brother got a
full scholarship to college, but the other three of us
she paid for us to go to college. I don't
know how she did any of that, you know. I'm guessing,
(16:49):
like I look back on it now, and I think
maybe some of the people in the church might have helped,
you know, at Christmas time and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 7 (16:56):
But my mom, you owt when it was your birthday.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
You always got a big kid, you know, And yeah,
maybe we can only have one serving at dinner, but
I think that's pretty normal, you know. I just think
I I always just was somehow It's interesting because a
guy I recover with says, you know, it's interesting how
slowly the disease of.
Speaker 7 (17:20):
Food addiction will kill you.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
It takes a long time to die from the effects
of compulsive eating.
Speaker 8 (17:27):
Right.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
You can die with alcohol in a night if you
take too much of it in right.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Right.
Speaker 7 (17:34):
But the next thing he says is it's so brief.
The moment of euphoria with food is so brief compared
to any other drug. You get maybe like twenty seconds
of euphoria, and then you wheel into like this self
degradation and you start hating yourself, and then you just
(17:55):
have to eat more because you hate yourself.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
And it's just.
Speaker 7 (17:57):
Awful, horrible cycle. And so why we choose it.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
We don't choose it. That's the answer to it is
it's my drug of no choice. I don't have a choice.
And until I got into recovery and learned that it
wasn't about me having the power, you know, it was
about God having the power and having to find a
god that worked for me, because the God I grew
(18:22):
up with hated me. You know, the God I grew
up with thought I was a mistake, remember, And so
I remember thinking I'm going to get struck by lightning
just for talking about this out loud, you know me.
And the first woman that I worked with said to me,
you know what, why don't you borrow my higher power
for a little while? She said, because my higher power
(18:43):
loves me very much, and I'm pretty sure that my
higher power has enough love for you, okay, And so
I for a long time, the people that I that
I was in meetings with were you know, not any
one person in particular, because you definitely don't want to
make a person your higher power. But like the community
of people became my higher power. What were they telling
(19:05):
me to do? What suggestions were they? And so my
first god good became good orderly direction. And that's how I, yes, yeah,
that's how I walked through life. Like whenever anything came
up with the food, or I had a party to
go to, or something was going down at work and
(19:26):
I didn't know how to deal with it, I'd.
Speaker 7 (19:27):
Call one of them and I just say, what do
I do? You know, And that was sort of like.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
You know, my way of just surrendering, okay, because up
until twenty nine, what I was doing wasn't working for me.
In fact, it got me nearly dead, and so I
just started relying on those people. But what I write
about in the book, and I I think I already
(19:53):
answered your first question, but I keep talking.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
Oh that's perthly, Okay. You know, we'll get back to
it about introducing personal eschatology. We're getting that with Jessica Morris.
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It's amazing. Author walked away for thirty years working higher
Education and the book Higher Powered, One Women's Journey and
(22:27):
Personal Eschatology. Here in the Mike Waders Show, Jessica Morris
before we talk about your book Higher Power and have
on Personal Eschatology, you yorked and hire education for thirty
years and tell us more about that.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Well, that was, Like I said, I was an English
major in college, which basically means I had no idea
what I wanted to do with my life. And I
went home for a little while, which was a disaster,
and thankfully ended up getting a job back at my
alma mater doing you know, like annual fund you know
(23:01):
those annual letters that you get.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
As a fundraising Yeah, yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Of yeah, yeah, And so I was in charge of
that stuff, and you know, I was you know, when
you're when you're fundraising, you're going to a lot of events, okay,
And so basically what's happening is you're getting paid to
eat and drink with others. Now, when you're addicted to
(23:25):
food and alcohol, that can be a really dangerous company.
Speaker 6 (23:28):
Oh yeah, I kept to that, yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Yeah, yeah, And so I knew I was going to
get fired from that job. There was something in me
that knew, and so I started looking for and I
worked there for about four years. I started looking for
a new job and I found a job just doing
event planning. Not that that was a great change, but
of course this was a geographical change for me.
Speaker 7 (23:53):
I had to get away from those people who knew me.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
And I came to the city I live in now
to work for a college in this town, and I
was planning alumni events and that's when I found recovery
and I went to I was that was about I
was about a year and a half working at that job,
and I told my spot, my first leader in the program.
(24:21):
I said to her, you know, I can't keep working
this job. And one of the things they tell you
in recovery is not to make any big changes in
your first year, you know, to just make recovery your
focus and don't change anything else, don't disrupt anything. But
I went here, I'm like, this is this is what
I do. I have to eat and drink with others,
(24:43):
like this is my job. And she said, you know,
why don't you instead of like going off and looking
for another job.
Speaker 7 (24:50):
You already know this place, you like this place.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Why don't you go to your boss and tell your boss, look,
I'm in recovery. Now, explain what recovery is, and say,
you know, I want to stay here. And at the
same time, I can't keep doing this job, you know,
I need to find something else. And I thought this
was a crazy idea because I knew they were just
going to get rid of me, you know, I mean,
(25:15):
I'm disposable, right, That's how I think in.
Speaker 7 (25:17):
My head at this point.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
And I went to my boss and he looked at
me and he said, I can't believe you're coming to
me with this today. He said, because we're reinstating the researcher,
the fundraising researcher position in our in our department that
we had to get rid of a couple of years
back when we were low on finances, you know, and everything,
(25:41):
and we need to put that back in because we're
starting a new campaign. Would you be interested in being
our researcher. It would take you out of events, It
would take you would not have to go to the
events anymore. You wouldn't, you know, Like you would just
be so I would be in my office or you know, downtown.
It's researching is very different now than it was then
(26:03):
because not everything was online back then, so you know,
sometimes I had to go downtown to records and you know,
the city hall and all that. But but now all
that pretty much everything's online that I can find.
Speaker 7 (26:14):
And so I, he.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Said, he and then he said to me, before you
say yes, how, but if I send you to this
conference for researchers and if you like it, then it's yours.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
I couldn't believe. I thought, wow, this is awesome. Being
honest actually paid off. And I came to learn much
later that that guy's dad was a minister.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
And I had like shared my SOB story with him
and he got it, he understood completely. And so so
I became the researcher, and that was in two thousand
and one, and I just stayed in that position. I
did research and stewardship, you know, where I was writing
(27:05):
a lot of the letters, you know, the fundraising letters.
I was creating bios and profiles and all kinds of stuff.
It was as much as it wasn't my dream job,
it was a great job for me because I was
able to use my writing skills. I love researching. I
absolutely love researching, and so you know, uncovering things and
creating a profile. It just brings me a lot of satisfaction.
(27:28):
And I actually also got to know a lot of
people in my community by doing that, because they didn't
know me, but I knew everything about them because it's
a small college in a community, and of course we're
going to go to the people who have the most
money and are doing the most in the community to
ask for help.
Speaker 7 (27:48):
And so I was learning all about.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
These amazing people, you know, that lived like doors down
for me, you know, And it was it was fascinating
for me, especially in early recovery, because it helped me
to recognize the importance of philanthropy and altruism and things
that I never I mean, I grew up in the
church and I never caught on to that because I
(28:10):
was so blocked by my addictions and my father's addiction
and everything. And so so it was And in addition
to that, I also met the chaplain who worked at
the college, and he became I didn't know it at
the time, but he became.
Speaker 7 (28:32):
If I could have chosen a.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Dad, it would have been him.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
It would have been him. He's He's the man the
book is dedicated to and he's the one who encouraged
me to go to seminary. He's the one who.
Speaker 7 (28:49):
Just helped me through.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
You know, even when I was in counseling, I went
to a certified addictions counselor to deal with the trauma
in my childhood.
Speaker 7 (29:00):
And that was that man. Also was definitely.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
A channel for my higher power. Those two men, Steve
was the counselor and Paul was the chaplain. Those two
men redefined masculinity for me, and they redefined what a man,
a strong man is and it was you know, I know,
(29:28):
Godd put them in my life specifically for that reason,
and they gave me a validation where I never had
it before. And Steve actually was the one who reframed
what my dad and mom shared with me when I
was a child.
Speaker 7 (29:48):
He said to me, because I had.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Steve was the first person that I ever told that
my parents called me a mistake. And because I knew
enough to know, oh, I've got to tell this counselor everything,
I've got to lay it all on the table. And
I told him, you know, my dad told me I
was a mistake. My mom confirmed it, and he said
(30:12):
to me, you know, Jessica, he said, I'd like to
give you a.
Speaker 7 (30:16):
Different look at this.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
He said, if your dad thought you were a mistake,
your mom confirmed it. So the two people, the physical
beings who brought you here right, weren't trying to bring
you here. They did nothing to make it happen. You're
supposed to be here. God wants you here. That's huge.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
And I remember his face like it was yesterday when
he said that.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
It almost looked like like light was coming out of
his face when he was saying it, and he just said,
that's actually a wonderful gift to know that God specifically,
so specifically wanted you here that he didn't even need
the help of the two people.
Speaker 7 (31:04):
In this world.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
He was just like, we are bringing her in, you know.
And it was like the weight that was lifted off
of me when he said that. To me, it was
it was amazing and it opened up all kinds of
just possibilities in my life because things that I never
(31:25):
thought I could do, I now started to get the
confidence to do it. And it was kind of like,
right after I finished my counseling with Steve Is when
I met Paul, so God like, you know, it was like, okay,
now it was almost like, you know, a baton they
were on a baton relay and Steve Paul and so
so as much as that job was not my dream,
(31:50):
if the only good thing that came out of it
was that I met Paul there the chaplain, that would
have been enough. But there was so much more, So
many wonderful people that came in and out of my
life during the time I was there, and so I
but at the time that I left there, it was
just last fall. I had my book was released in September,
(32:17):
and things were starting to get kind of toxic at
that play at workplace. And my husband had had a
bit of a transformation of his own over the last
couple of years. We've started going to church together. He
never had any kind of church when he was growing up,
(32:40):
so this was all new to him. We were watching
the show The Chosen together. I don't know if you've
heard of the show That Chosen, and so we're watching
that together and he's learning things about Jesus that he never,
you know, never knew, and finding a lot of strength
and faith in that. And he said to me, I'll
(33:01):
never forget this. I came home one night and I
just was just so wiped out from work, like I
just it sucked the lifeblood out of me while I
was there.
Speaker 7 (33:12):
That's how bad it was. And he said to me,
you know, maybe maybe the next.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
Couple of years before I retire is when you shouldn't
be working, and you should try to make this writing
ministry work. Because I had talked about it a lot,
excuse me since I graduated from seminary that I you know,
I just wanted my ministry to be spiritual direction in writing.
Speaker 7 (33:38):
And I couldn't. I didn't have the time to do it.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
It was exhausting, you know, because there's a lot of
research that goes into the stuff that I write, and
it just wasn't financially doable, or so I thought. And
until my husband got to a place where he felt
comfortable enough to say, you know what, let's take this risk.
I see what the job's doing to you, and your
(34:03):
spirit is dying when you're there, you know, And.
Speaker 7 (34:07):
So I left.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I left, and he said, do me a favor and
do everything in your power to have health insurance by
the time I want to retire, right And.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
I think that's a big thing. That's a big thing too.
And of course, you know, health insurance is import and
of course his assurance as well, where personal escatology kicks in,
you know, providing health and everything. We'll getting more of
a book at Jessica Morris Higher Powered on one One's
journey in pers Eschatology. You listen to The Mike Wadner
Show at the Mike Widershow dot com powered by sound
quib cdials brought to by official sponsor to the Mike waders Show.
(34:42):
Introduction Warbring authored me and most is Missing. The Sweet
Saw is by Serena Wagner, based on a Life of
David Amazon dot com. Keywords we saw mis Serena Wagner
and the sense swaying. Eric Dunmore with all of me,
Eric Danmusic dot com. We'll be back with author of
Jessica Morris halfter this time.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Hey everybody, this is Eric Diamond and you're listening to
the Mike Wagner Show.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
The Mike Wagner Show is powered by Sonicweb Studios. If
you're looking to start or upgrade your online presence, visit
www dot Sonicwebstudios dot com For all of your online needs.
Call one eight hundred three oh three three nine six
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(35:22):
To get started today, mention the Mike Wagner Show and
get twenty percent off your project. Sonicweb Studios take your
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Speaker 9 (35:31):
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(35:53):
a living. He's a physical fitness trainer. When somebody hardly knows,
somebody's never met, he always encountered of our internet chat line,
goes missing.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
This is his journey. He's going to go rescue them.
Speaker 9 (36:05):
This is his search for redemption and search for his
own personal promise.
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Land.
Speaker 9 (36:09):
He couldn't do anything about the death of his wife,
the death of his child, but maybe he could rescue
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Speaker 3 (36:26):
Missing by me and moson Zea.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Hey everybody, this is Eric Diamond. You're listening to The
Mike Wagner Show. You can check out.
Speaker 8 (36:33):
Our music and know all about us at www dot
ericdiamondmusic dot com. Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok.
You can friend me on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
You can follow me on Facebook, and you can even
buy both of my albums off of Facebook. Just get
a hold of me on the Facebook Messenger. We have
them available in CD or thumb drive. Thank you so
much and hope you have a great day.
Speaker 5 (36:57):
The Mike Wagner Show is brought to you by Serena
wag book The Sweet Sawmist Now availve on emsoon. This
book includes thirty exquisite pintings by well known and unknown
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(37:18):
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Powers and boy, are you in luck?
Speaker 1 (37:36):
Right place?
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Right time?
Speaker 5 (37:39):
Tuned into the Mike Wagner Show. You heard me, We'rebecca
author Jessica Morris of Higher Powered One One's Journey of
Personal Eschatology here on Mike Wenders Show, and he sat
down to write this book introducing personal eschatology with weaveing
stories about Nicodemus, lasar In Apostle Paul and tell us
(38:02):
more about that.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
Well, you know, it happened, I wrote my it happened.
It started in my early days of seminary, so way
back in twenty fifteen. The idea came to me, and
I didn't even know what eschatology was, Okay, so all
I was thinking about was I was learning about how
Jesus spoke symbolically about pretty much everything. He used metaphor
(38:26):
and parable to share stories and teachings. And I said
to myself, why couldn't he have been speaking in some
sort of metaphorical or symbolic way when he was talking
about his second coming? Like everybody seems to just accept
that everything he said about his second coming was literal,
where he spoke symbolically about everything, So why couldn't this
(38:49):
have been symbolic? And the idea came to me that
maybe what he was saying was your life is going
to end when I show up, and if you turn
from me, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth
in your life. If you accept me, you will be
(39:12):
able to have the Kingdom of God. And as I
was thinking this, I had a flashback to a time
when it was about a year after college. I was
at a party and I was it was very cold,
it was it was January, and I went outside to
(39:32):
smoke a cigarette and I was hating on God. I
remember staring up at the stars in the sky and
just screaming at God like.
Speaker 7 (39:40):
I hate you, Why are you doing this to me?
Speaker 4 (39:43):
That kind of thing, like very self pitying and blaming
God for everything.
Speaker 7 (39:48):
And I had this, I had.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
This feeling rush over me of warmth, which was odd
because it was January and it was freezing, and I
knew in that moment of warmth that if I turned
to my left, Jesus was standing right there, not an apparition,
not a ghost.
Speaker 7 (40:11):
Jesus was there. I could reach.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Out and touch him and hug him. And I immediately
got terrified and I ran back into the party. And
so then I went back to I was when I
had this memory that I had blocked for a long time.
I was sitting in intro to New Testament, and when
(40:36):
I came back from the memory, I was like, oh
my God, I ran away from him. He came to me,
and I ran away from him. That's why the years
between that moment and when I got into Recovery were
so filled with hell on earth. I don't even know
(40:56):
how else to describe it. They were the most horrible,
lating years of my life. And it hit me that
my return to Jesus was actually happening when I walked
into recovery, even though I wasn't saying Jesus when I
was talking about God, you know, I was talking about
good orderly direction. I was I was turning back to
(41:21):
Jesus and what was happening. I could see it all
in hindsight. Jesus was coming to me through people that
he knew I could listen to. He was coming to
me through the women in recovery. He was coming to
me through that counselor he was you know, like he
just he knew I couldn't look directly at him, so
he showed up through all these people. What we like
(41:44):
to say in recovery is it was God with skin on,
you know, a bunch of people that were somehow opening
to the spirit enough to become a channel for someone else.
And this was rushing over me in this class, and
I didn't know what to do with it. It took me
a couple more years before I even had the courage
(42:06):
to say it to one of my professors and I said,
would this be an idea for maybe my thesis? Because
I had to write a thesis in order to graduate.
And he said, well, what you're talking about sounds like eschatology.
And I said, I don't even know what that is.
What does that mean? And he said, eschatology really is
(42:27):
just if you break the word down, it means the
study of the end times. And so he said, you know,
you should do an individual study with somebody and learn
about what eschatology is before you create a new named eschatology,
you know, And so I did. I did that. I
learned all about what it was. And the different thing,
(42:48):
the different types of eschatology that are accepted in theological circles,
mainly apocalyptic is I'm sure what you've heard of the
Great Apocalypse or the Book direct and so that's an apocalypse.
The word apocalypse really just means a revelation, and so
(43:09):
the Book of Revelation is a perfect example of that.
It's a prophetic idea about what's coming.
Speaker 8 (43:16):
Right.
Speaker 7 (43:17):
And the other really well.
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Known form of eschatology is what they call realized eschatology,
which you can find in the Gospel of John, where
Jesus is consistently saying the time is now, it is
happening now. And I think he was saying that because
he's like, hello, I'm right here, you know, and everybody
was missing it, you know. And what all I was
(43:42):
doing was I wasn't saying those types of eschatology weren't true.
I was just saying, could this be another way of
looking at it? Personal eschatology Jesus returning. I mean, everybody
talks about how personal our relationship is with Jesus, so
why wouldn't he return for each one of us?
Speaker 8 (44:03):
Right?
Speaker 4 (44:04):
I mean it seemed so obvious to me, you know.
And so my professor, who I did the person did
the individual study with, said, well, if it seems obvious
to you, then I think it's something you need to
look into, right, And so I started researching it. I
couldn't find anybody else saying it, and I ended up
(44:26):
working with the dean of the seminary on my thesis,
and he was an expert in the Gospel of John.
And so we went through that book like with a
fine tooth comb together, and he taught me. Those two professors,
they taught me how to research like nobody's business, and
(44:47):
how to write, and it just it came together in
my thesis. But when I graduated, I knew like I
was trying to get an a, like, if I'm going
to be really honest, I was trying to get an
A with that thesis. What happened to me after I
graduated was I realized, this is more than an A
(45:09):
on a paper. This is an idea that I need
to put my story in and that's how the book
came to be. Like I took what I wrote my thesis,
which was the Three Guys, the story of Nicodemus, Lazarus
and the Apostle Paul, and then I took my story
of redemption and transformation and rebirth, and I just weaved
(45:29):
it amongst those three stories. And I got to tell you,
I don't have any of my own children. I never
had children. This is my child. I feel like this book.
I'm so proud of it in a non prideful way,
if that makes any kind of sense, because I feel
(45:52):
like God used me to put it on paper.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
You know that is really amazing. You just have one
heck of a story. And also, we forgot to mention
you have another book called Do Drop the Deal, a
devotional tell us more about that?
Speaker 4 (46:07):
Yeah? That I that my friend, my friend, the chaplain.
I was telling him how I wanted to This was
way back before I was in seminary. I wanted to
write a meditation type book for people in recovery or
maybe not, like I wasn't sure. And he was willing
(46:27):
to read the entries as I put them together. And
you know what's interesting when I got into early recovery.
I became a voracious reader because I had to get
away from the television because that's where I did a
lot of my binge eating. I would just sit in
front of the TV and eat.
Speaker 7 (46:45):
And so I started reading a lot and Dean Koons.
I don't know if you know the author, Dean Koons.
He became one of my favorites.
Speaker 4 (46:51):
And what I always recognized in his books was there
was always, even though they were very suspenseful and scary,
there was always like a good threat that weaved through.
And he had some really great one liners, and so
I put those at the top of each of my
meditation like I would use a quote from Dean Koon's
and I ended up sending ten of them to him,
(47:14):
and I said, is this something you would let me
do use all your quotes for my book? I am
not kidding you when I tell you. He wrote back
to me, and it had to be two weeks, a
handwritten letter back to me about how he he didn't
even know if this was doable. He doesn't know anything
(47:34):
about meditation books. But he would put me in touch
with a friend of his in publishing to find out
if she thought it was a good idea, and he did.
He followed through with all of that, and she actually
steered me away from doing that. She said, you know,
you're going to pigeonhole yourself into Dean Kuhon's followers, you know,
(47:55):
and that. Yeah, and so so that book came to me.
Speaker 7 (47:59):
So I didn't used quotes that.
Speaker 4 (48:01):
But the reason I share that is because one of
the things I've recognized about other writers is that they
want other writers to succeed. They're not, at least that's
been my experience. You know, that authors are not as
competitive in nature, at least the ones that I've met.
I mean, he didn't have to write back to me.
(48:23):
He could have just ignored the stuff that I sent.
I mean, the man's who knows how rich, you know,
and successful and he and he took the time to
put me in touch with someone he knew to help
me find my way. And so like, those are the
types of people I have come in contact with. And
you know, I think a lot of that has to
(48:44):
do with God guiding.
Speaker 7 (48:45):
Me too, you know.
Speaker 4 (48:47):
And and so so Paul read all of those meditations
as I put them together, and that book was released
the fall that I went into seminary, so it was
almost like, you know, one thing led to the other
led to the other, and hearing today.
Speaker 5 (49:04):
And that's so amazing as well, Jessica, where can we
find all your books at including Higher Powers?
Speaker 4 (49:09):
Everything you need to know about me, including Spiritual Direction?
My books is on my website. It's Jessica Elmorris dot com.
And we're I mean, the books are sold through Amazon,
So when you click on one of the books, it'll
take you to Amazon, but they're both available there. And
if you're interested in Spiritual Direction, I have a form
(49:31):
you can fill out and it'll send me an email
and we'll get in touch.
Speaker 5 (49:35):
That sounds great, we'll certainly do that. We're the amazing author,
Jessica Morris of Higher Powered What a Woman's Journey of
Personal Escatalogia Here on the Mike Winter showed just a
few more things, Jessica. What else can we expect from you?
Twenty twenty five and beyond Well.
Speaker 7 (49:47):
I just finished, almost finished.
Speaker 4 (49:50):
I have to edit yet my next book, which is
as it's called Sunbathing Son Basking in.
Speaker 7 (49:58):
The Word of got it okay, And.
Speaker 4 (50:01):
I've taken a hundred things that Jesus has said and
I've written my own meditations off of them. But then
what I've done after that is I've given the reader
a prompt to either do some writing or meditation or
prayer or study. Because one of the things that I've
recognized in my study of the Bible and of things
(50:23):
that Jesus said is that I get so much more
out of it than just listening to what someone else
said if I have then a task to do. Jony Ericksontada,
I don't know if you.
Speaker 7 (50:34):
Know her, she's very uh yeah.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
She does a lot of that kind of stuff where
she'll give like a meditation prompt, and I've found those
books to be much more helpful in my own personal journey.
So I wanted to create something like that. And I've
also been writing poetry like crazy and posting it on
my blog since I started my blog, which was twenty seventeen.
So a good friend of mine said, Okay, when you're
(50:58):
finished with this book, I want a collection of poetry. Okay,
so that's going to be the next thing I do
after this, and then we'll.
Speaker 5 (51:07):
See, Okay, sounds great. We're looking forward to it. Who
do you consider biggest influence in the career?
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Wow?
Speaker 7 (51:18):
You know, I would have to say.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
I mean, of course the easy answer is God, you know,
because God has come to me through so many people.
Speaker 7 (51:32):
But I would have to say probably Paul.
Speaker 4 (51:34):
You know. I mean, he he was a poet himself,
he was a writer himself. He was a minister of God,
and not just from the pulpit, you know. He was
a minister of God to people, to everybody. And that's
how I want to be. It's not about, you know,
the great speech that I give in front of people.
It's not about how much money I make. It's about
(51:56):
how did this person feel when they walked away from me.
Speaker 5 (52:00):
That is a really good point. What's the best advice
you can give to any bye this point?
Speaker 4 (52:07):
You know what, when you think you're receiving a message
from God, if you're a praying person, because this was
the best advice I was given in early recovery. I
can rationalize anything, you know, and I can. If there's
something I want bad enough, I can make it be
that God told me to do it, you know what
I mean. So one of the first women that I
(52:29):
met in recovery said to me, here's the thing, Jessica,
when you have a big decision, to make, or if
you have a little decision to make, pray about it
and then get someone else involved. So it's you God
and another person that you trust, and just you don't
have to get a whole bunch of opinions because they're
all going to be different, you know, just you God
(52:51):
and another person that you trust and then go with
your gut.
Speaker 5 (52:55):
Now, I think that's great advice as well too. We're
here with author Jessica Morris of Higher Powered one Is
during personal eschatology on the Mike Wenders Show. Jessica, very
big thanks you time. You've been absolute fantastic, learned a
lot looking forehead and soon keeps it up to date,
Keep in touch, lavavy Back. And what's your website? How
do people contact you? Bring people purchase or check out
your book?
Speaker 4 (53:15):
Jessica Lmorris dot com.
Speaker 5 (53:18):
All right, we'll certainly check that out once again, Jessca,
a very big thank you time. You have been abs
amazing looking fore heaven soon keeps up to date, keep
in touch, levavy Back. We wish all best in Jessica,
you definitely have for great fit you.
Speaker 4 (53:30):
Thank you so much, Mike, it was great to be
with you The.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
Mike Wagner Show is powered by Sonicweb Studios. If you're
looking to start or upgrade your online presence, visit www
dot Sonicwebstudios dot com. For all of your online needs.
Call one eight hundred three oh three three nine six
zero or visit us online at www dot sonicwebstudios dot
(53:52):
com To get started today, Mention the Mike Wagner Show
and get twenty percent off your project. Sonicweb Studios take
your image to the next level.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Hey everybody, this is Eric Diamond. You're listening to the
Mike Wagner Show. You can check out.
Speaker 8 (54:06):
Our music and know all about us at www dot
Ericdimondmusic dot com. Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
You can friend me on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
You can follow me on Facebook, and you can even
buy both of my albums off of Facebook. Just get
a hold of me on the Facebook Messenger. We have
them available in CD or thumb drive. Thank you so
much and hope you have a great day.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
Hi.
Speaker 9 (54:31):
I'm burl Bert, legendary American author, and I'm here to
tell you about Missing, the new mystery suspense novel by
me and mosen Ze. It's really a good book, very
surprising never metaphor I didn't like, especially in this book.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
Here you have a main character whose wife has been
filled with the spear.
Speaker 9 (54:47):
His wife died a nine to eleven is a young
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He's not a happy camper. What does he do for
a living. He's a physical fitness trainer.
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When somebody hardly knows, somebody's never met, he always encountered.
Our internet chat line goes missing, this is his journey.
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for redemption and search for his own personal promised land.
He couldn't do anything about the death of his wife,
the death of his child, but maybe he could rescue
this woman he's never met, that is, if she exists.
(55:17):
Missing by Me and most in Zeia International in scope,
vastly entertaining, full of surprises. I suggest you get it
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Speaker 3 (55:26):
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The Mike Wagner Show is brought to you by Serena
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(55:49):
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Thanks for listening to The Mike Wagner Show powered by
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(56:28):
time for another great episode of The Mike Wagner Show.
Hey, everybody, this is Eric Diamond and you're listening to
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Speaker 2 (00:04):
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Everybody, It's Mike from Mike Wagner Show, power by Soundweb
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out The Sweet Somist on Amazon. Keyword Sweet Samaserena Wagner
and The Sense is Wighing. Eric Daimond with all of
Me Eric Daimsia dot com, check on YouTube, Spotify, Facebook
and more. New release coming soon. We're here with a
terrific lady who's an author who walked away from her
her job for over thirty years working higher education, raised
by a small town minister and dealt with number of issues,
(01:40):
found a way to recover at twenty nine from food
and alcohol addiction and began spiritual journey you taking into
inter her classes which is individual spiritual direction. Graduated May
of twenty twenty from Merivian Theological Seminary Certificate and Spiritual
Direction Master of Arts and Theological Studies and has a
new book out in producing Personal Eschatology, weaving studies about
(02:03):
stories about Nicodemus, Lazarus and the Apostle Paul into Higher
Powered One Woman's Journey of Personal Eschatology, Life Laces and
Gentlemen plus studios from beautiful Downtown Reading, Pennsylvania. The amazing
author and also former higher education and the title of
book Higher Powers, One Woman's Journey of Personal Estatology Multi
talented Jessica Marris jess Kelly, Good morning, good afternoon, Giving.
(02:26):
Thanks for joined us today.
Speaker 7 (02:27):
Thank you, Mike.
Speaker 4 (02:28):
It's wonderful to be with you today.
Speaker 5 (02:30):
What's great to have you on board. Jessica's here an
author who walked away from your higher education position for
over thirty years. You're raised by a small town minister.
You find a way to recover twenty nine from food
and alcohol addiction. You began a spiritual journey, taking introduction
classes called Individual Spiritual Direction. You priested to graduate. You
also have a new book which introduces personal exatology, weaving
(02:52):
stories about Nicodemus, Lazarus, and the Apostle Paul illustrating how
Jesus' comments about the Second Coming were some bilo and
it's not about the end of war world, but personal
introduction of him. The books called Higher Powered One Woman's
during of Personal Eschatology. Before Jessica tell us I first
got started?
Speaker 7 (03:13):
Oh my, which part got started on? Which part?
Speaker 5 (03:16):
Way back of you, way back, way back.
Speaker 4 (03:19):
From So how life started? Well, unfortunately, my life was
what I like.
Speaker 7 (03:26):
To call now a surprise.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
What I was told as a child was a mistake,
and so I was brought into the world. I'm the
youngest of four to a Methodist minister. Small, very small town,
no traffic lights even, just really small town. And my
mom was a school teacher at the school, so you
can imagine everybody in the town knew my parents, and
(03:51):
of course anything we did as kids always got back
to my parents. And the other unfortunate pieces that my
father was an act active alcoholic for almost his entire life.
He did find recovery at one point much later, but
my entire growing up and young adulthood he was active alcoholic.
(04:13):
And my mother was raised by an alcoholic father, so
she was, you know, as you know, from dysfunction and
family disease of alcoholism.
Speaker 7 (04:23):
She was all in.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
And she didn't even know she was all in, you know,
when she met my dad, they were like a matchmate
in hell, I guess you could say.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
So.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
But at a very young age, I at one point,
I don't even remember exactly what was happening, but I
was probably getting on my father's nerves, you know, and
he told me that I was a mistake. He told
me that my parents only wanted three children. And I
was very young at the time. I remember it clearly,
(04:55):
but I was very young. And I went to my
mother right away to find out if this was true,
and she did not deny it. She just said, he
shouldn't have told you that. And so what I heard
my parents telling me is what I thought God was
telling me. Because my father was the minister. He was
my minister, and he was my dad, and so I
(05:17):
pretty much just thought I was a mistake. And I
never told that to anybody because I thought even if
my siblings knew, they couldn't know this either. Because so
this was like the biggest secret of mine in the
whole world, that I was a mistake. And that's how
I went through life, you know, And I look back
on it now, and you know, I was so hard
(05:39):
on myself growing up because I thought if I were perfect,
you know, then my parents will see that I actually
have meaning. And I tried desperately to be perfect, and
you know, I couldn't be perfect, and so I failed
miserably at that. I tried for a long time with
grades and everything. But in and and you know, food,
(06:02):
you know, we talk about addiction being part of my
genetic makeup. Food is my first memory of life, Like
I remember sneaking food, I remember, you know. And I
don't want to say that it's my parents' fault in
the way they raised me, because I have three siblings
who are not food addicts, you know, so and my
(06:23):
mom and dad raised them the same way. So I,
you know, I just believe that addiction is part of
a genetic makeup, and it just depends which one we.
Speaker 7 (06:31):
Choose, you know. And so for me, food has.
Speaker 4 (06:36):
Always been a huge, huge part of my life, and
it was a I'm a volume what they call a
volume eater, you know. The more that I could get,
the better. It's called binging. You see it in bole
mix a lot where they eat volumes of food and
then they throw up to try to get rid of
the food. I tried to make myself throw up because
(06:58):
I wanted to be skinny, and I could. I couldn't
make myself. I tried everything and until I was introduced
to alcohol, and I recognized that alcohol would make me
throw up if I drank enough of it, And so
the two things started to play off of each other,
which was really dangerous. And how I rationalized that in
(07:20):
my head because I spent a lot of my child
really saying the word and really feeling hate towards my
father because he was physically abusive, he was mentally and
in fact, I'd rather he would have hit me than
some of the things that he said to me, because
the mental abuse was is the stuff that stays with you,
(07:41):
you know. And so when I started to drink heavily,
I just rationalized it away like I was having fun.
I was a nice person, I wasn't mean to people.
I wasn't hitting anybody, you know. I mean, those were
the things that I just kept telling myself, you know.
And for a long time, as addictions are, I was
able to hide these things in a way, or at
(08:04):
least I thought I was hiding them. But I was
able to keep my weight down because I played a
lot of sports growing up, and a young person's metabolism
is a lot different, you know, And so and I
would go out drinking, and yet at the same time,
I was able to keep my grades up up until
the time I was like midway through high school and
then it just started to fall apart. I was able
(08:29):
to get into college mainly because I was really good
field hockey player.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
Wow, they're as they're known for field hockey out in
the East Coast, especially Pennsylvania and all that. That's very popular.
Speaker 7 (08:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (08:42):
So yeah, So I went to college to play field
hockey and also to find a husband. And of course,
you know, I had a major on the side that
I you know, as an English major on the side,
but because I liked to write and I like to read,
so that's what I picked. But the main goal was
to find a husband, and that failed miserably also, and
(09:05):
it was just a lot of just horrible decisions all
through college. I was what I like to call a
train wreck, now, you know. I mean it was just
the when I got into recovery and I had to
make amends with people. Significant amount of the people that
were on my list were from my college days because
I was just just not a good person, you know.
(09:29):
I was a good person who had a horrible disease,
let's say. And because I really that's not me. I
don't want to be a mean person. I don't want
to be a manipulative person, a selfish person, but my
diseases would not allow me to live any other way.
And anybody who's suffered an addiction, or has watched a
(09:50):
loved one suffer an addiction, knows that to be true.
You know the goal, you know, my goal was never
to be almost three hundred pounds. I'm five to four.
My goal was never to be that big, you know.
And at the same time, and I knew everything there
was to know about dieting, right, but I could not
(10:10):
stop myself from picking up the first bite. And once
I picked up the first bite, it set off the
physical addiction, It set off the whole thing, and I
couldn't stop.
Speaker 7 (10:23):
And by the time I was twenty.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
Nine, you know, my body, I think had had enough,
but also mentally I was done. You know, my older sister,
who God lover, she practically raised me. She's six years
older than I am, and she came to me about
(10:46):
a year before I got into recovery. She came to
me and she told me, she said, I'm not gonna
watch you do this to yourself. I can't watch you
do to yourself what our dad did to our family
because we were all over the place, and I know
that was hard for her, and I'm so grateful that
she did it, But in the moment, I was hating
(11:06):
on her, like get out of my apartment, I hate you,
you know, and like, uh, yeah, how dare you say
I'm like dad? You know, Like that was just like
the most horrible things she could have said to me,
and at the same time, exactly what I needed to hear.
And Yeah, a year later, a counselor sent me to recovery,
(11:26):
a counselor that I went to to prove to.
Speaker 7 (11:28):
My sister that I wasn't an addict.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You know.
Speaker 4 (11:31):
That's why I went, I'm going to show her it's
not me, it's dad, you know, because I was still
blaming everything on my father at this point. And the
counselor said, you really need help, and it's not going
to come from me. You have a lot of issues,
but until you get these addictions under control, none of
the work we do in here is going to make
any difference because it's not going to stick. These are
(11:54):
blocks to any kind of therapeutic process that we can
go through. So I got into Rica, and thank God
for that woman too. You know, I look back on
this now and I see God putting these people in
my life, you know who directed me in the you know,
in the right direction. And the recovery community just wrapped
(12:15):
their arms around me and said, honey, you have earned
your seat. Sit down, shut up, and just start listening.
You know, because I thought I had all the answers,
even though I was a train wreck. I thought I
had all the answers, and I did not. And I
am so grateful to those those first women who just
(12:36):
listened to me. Oh, I was such a I was
such a mess. But luckily I was desperate. And that
is really important thing for me to share here. You know,
if you are an addict, or if you love someone
who is an addict, you cannot make them get desperate enough.
(12:57):
It has to happen for them to then it has
to be theirs.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
You know.
Speaker 7 (13:03):
I had an.
Speaker 4 (13:05):
When I was in high school.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
I had an.
Speaker 4 (13:07):
Aunt who I loved so much. She was my favorite
family member. She was so much fun, the life of
the party. She was just so loving. She made all
my dress she was a beautiful seamtress. She made all
of our dresses for prom and all that stuff. She
was just this wonderful woman significantly overweight. I couldn't tell
(13:33):
you how much she weighed. She had a stroke when
I was sixteen, and from her weight and it took
her voice away. She was not able to speak anymore.
And it was absolutely heartbreaking because this woman who was
so vibrant and lively and wonderful and loving.
Speaker 7 (13:55):
When you'd go visit her, she'd just look at you
with this sadness in her eyes because she couldn't communicate.
Speaker 4 (14:02):
And it was horrifying. And that was not enough of
a warning for me. I was sixteen years old when
that happened. It took another thirteen years for me to
get into recovery.
Speaker 5 (14:14):
Oh wow, okay, all right, yeah.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
So like that, even seeing that happened to her and
knowing that's the road I'm going down, right, it didn't
stop me. It was And why did I get the
desperation at twenty nine, I don't know. Maybe because my sister,
who was really my best friend, who I really consider
my parent, you know, I mean not that my parents
(14:40):
didn't parent me, but she was the one who just
took care of me and protected me and all that
kind of stuff. And she was saying to me I'm
not going to watch you do this, and she backed
away enough that I like this loneliness set in. I
became I was suicidal a lot of my life, and
I think that goes with the mistake ism, you know,
(15:02):
like I might as well just end it now, you know,
because I'm not supposed to be here anyway. But towards
the end there, it became so incessant. All the time,
that's all I thought about, like how can I do
this and just end it?
Speaker 7 (15:17):
And it was just so lonely and horrible. And when
I walked into that first meeting and I heard people
talking about food the same way that I was using food,
and I literally did not think there was anybody else
in the world who did this. I thought I was
just a weak willed, pathetic person, you know, that couldn't
(15:38):
make herself throw up, so no one would help her.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
I mean literally, that's that's the lie that the disease
told me. And so those people, they welcomed me back,
They asked me to come back, They called me by name,
they knew my stories, they laughed, you know when they
were sharing and when I was sharing, and they helped
(16:02):
me to become a grown up.
Speaker 5 (16:04):
You know, Oh my gosh, that's so amazing. I'm thinking
about I'm thinking about the whole thing with food and
the connection and everything. Was there a plenty of food
in the house or was it like they had to
like scramble to get food or was it just like
on their salaries and everything was food considered scarce in
the house.
Speaker 7 (16:23):
Not really. I mean, let me put it to you
this way.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
I don't know how she did it, but my mom
was a master at managing money because she had a
husband who was spending money like a drunken salor, you know,
and then she had four kids. My brother got a
full scholarship to college, but the other three of us
she paid for us to go to college. I don't
know how she did any of that, you know. I'm guessing,
(16:49):
like I look back on it now, and I think
maybe some of the people in the church might have helped,
you know, at Christmas time and all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 7 (16:56):
But my mom, you owt when it was your birthday.
Speaker 4 (16:59):
You always got a big kid, you know, And yeah,
maybe we can only have one serving at dinner, but
I think that's pretty normal, you know. I just think
I I always just was somehow It's interesting because a
guy I recover with says, you know, it's interesting how
slowly the disease of.
Speaker 7 (17:20):
Food addiction will kill you.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
It takes a long time to die from the effects
of compulsive eating.
Speaker 8 (17:27):
Right.
Speaker 4 (17:28):
You can die with alcohol in a night if you
take too much of it in right.
Speaker 1 (17:34):
Right.
Speaker 7 (17:34):
But the next thing he says is it's so brief.
The moment of euphoria with food is so brief compared
to any other drug. You get maybe like twenty seconds
of euphoria, and then you wheel into like this self
degradation and you start hating yourself, and then you just
(17:55):
have to eat more because you hate yourself.
Speaker 4 (17:57):
And it's just.
Speaker 7 (17:57):
Awful, horrible cycle. And so why we choose it.
Speaker 4 (18:02):
We don't choose it. That's the answer to it is
it's my drug of no choice. I don't have a choice.
And until I got into recovery and learned that it
wasn't about me having the power, you know, it was
about God having the power and having to find a
god that worked for me, because the God I grew
(18:22):
up with hated me. You know, the God I grew
up with thought I was a mistake, remember, And so
I remember thinking I'm going to get struck by lightning
just for talking about this out loud, you know me.
And the first woman that I worked with said to me,
you know what, why don't you borrow my higher power
for a little while? She said, because my higher power
(18:43):
loves me very much, and I'm pretty sure that my
higher power has enough love for you, okay, And so
I for a long time, the people that I that
I was in meetings with were you know, not any
one person in particular, because you definitely don't want to
make a person your higher power. But like the community
of people became my higher power. What were they telling
(19:05):
me to do? What suggestions were they? And so my
first god good became good orderly direction. And that's how I, yes, yeah,
that's how I walked through life. Like whenever anything came
up with the food, or I had a party to
go to, or something was going down at work and
(19:26):
I didn't know how to deal with it, I'd.
Speaker 7 (19:27):
Call one of them and I just say, what do
I do? You know, And that was sort of like.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
You know, my way of just surrendering, okay, because up
until twenty nine, what I was doing wasn't working for me.
In fact, it got me nearly dead, and so I
just started relying on those people. But what I write
about in the book, and I I think I already
(19:53):
answered your first question, but I keep talking.
Speaker 5 (19:56):
Oh that's perthly, Okay. You know, we'll get back to
it about introducing personal eschatology. We're getting that with Jessica Morris.
But first you'll listen to the Mike Widener's Show at
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It's amazing. Author walked away for thirty years working higher
Education and the book Higher Powered, One Women's Journey and
(22:27):
Personal Eschatology. Here in the Mike Waders Show, Jessica Morris
before we talk about your book Higher Power and have
on Personal Eschatology, you yorked and hire education for thirty
years and tell us more about that.
Speaker 4 (22:39):
Well, that was, Like I said, I was an English
major in college, which basically means I had no idea
what I wanted to do with my life. And I
went home for a little while, which was a disaster,
and thankfully ended up getting a job back at my
alma mater doing you know, like annual fund you know
(23:01):
those annual letters that you get.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
As a fundraising Yeah, yeah, that's a lot.
Speaker 4 (23:05):
Of yeah, yeah, And so I was in charge of
that stuff, and you know, I was you know, when
you're when you're fundraising, you're going to a lot of events, okay,
And so basically what's happening is you're getting paid to
eat and drink with others. Now, when you're addicted to
(23:25):
food and alcohol, that can be a really dangerous company.
Speaker 6 (23:28):
Oh yeah, I kept to that, yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
Yeah, yeah, And so I knew I was going to
get fired from that job. There was something in me
that knew, and so I started looking for and I
worked there for about four years. I started looking for
a new job and I found a job just doing
event planning. Not that that was a great change, but
of course this was a geographical change for me.
Speaker 7 (23:53):
I had to get away from those people who knew me.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
And I came to the city I live in now
to work for a college in this town, and I
was planning alumni events and that's when I found recovery
and I went to I was that was about I
was about a year and a half working at that job,
and I told my spot, my first leader in the program.
(24:21):
I said to her, you know, I can't keep working
this job. And one of the things they tell you
in recovery is not to make any big changes in
your first year, you know, to just make recovery your
focus and don't change anything else, don't disrupt anything. But
I went here, I'm like, this is this is what
I do. I have to eat and drink with others,
(24:43):
like this is my job. And she said, you know,
why don't you instead of like going off and looking
for another job.
Speaker 7 (24:50):
You already know this place, you like this place.
Speaker 4 (24:54):
Why don't you go to your boss and tell your boss, look,
I'm in recovery. Now, explain what recovery is, and say,
you know, I want to stay here. And at the
same time, I can't keep doing this job, you know,
I need to find something else. And I thought this
was a crazy idea because I knew they were just
going to get rid of me, you know, I mean,
(25:15):
I'm disposable, right, That's how I think in.
Speaker 7 (25:17):
My head at this point.
Speaker 4 (25:20):
And I went to my boss and he looked at
me and he said, I can't believe you're coming to
me with this today. He said, because we're reinstating the researcher,
the fundraising researcher position in our in our department that
we had to get rid of a couple of years
back when we were low on finances, you know, and everything,
(25:41):
and we need to put that back in because we're
starting a new campaign. Would you be interested in being
our researcher. It would take you out of events, It
would take you would not have to go to the
events anymore. You wouldn't, you know, Like you would just
be so I would be in my office or you know, downtown.
It's researching is very different now than it was then
(26:03):
because not everything was online back then, so you know,
sometimes I had to go downtown to records and you know,
the city hall and all that. But but now all
that pretty much everything's online that I can find.
Speaker 7 (26:14):
And so I, he.
Speaker 4 (26:16):
Said, he and then he said to me, before you
say yes, how, but if I send you to this
conference for researchers and if you like it, then it's yours.
Speaker 3 (26:28):
Nice.
Speaker 4 (26:29):
I couldn't believe. I thought, wow, this is awesome. Being
honest actually paid off. And I came to learn much
later that that guy's dad was a minister.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4 (26:44):
And I had like shared my SOB story with him
and he got it, he understood completely. And so so
I became the researcher, and that was in two thousand
and one, and I just stayed in that position. I
did research and stewardship, you know, where I was writing
(27:05):
a lot of the letters, you know, the fundraising letters.
I was creating bios and profiles and all kinds of stuff.
It was as much as it wasn't my dream job,
it was a great job for me because I was
able to use my writing skills. I love researching. I
absolutely love researching, and so you know, uncovering things and
creating a profile. It just brings me a lot of satisfaction.
(27:28):
And I actually also got to know a lot of
people in my community by doing that, because they didn't
know me, but I knew everything about them because it's
a small college in a community, and of course we're
going to go to the people who have the most
money and are doing the most in the community to
ask for help.
Speaker 7 (27:48):
And so I was learning all about.
Speaker 4 (27:49):
These amazing people, you know, that lived like doors down
for me, you know, And it was it was fascinating
for me, especially in early recovery, because it helped me
to recognize the importance of philanthropy and altruism and things
that I never I mean, I grew up in the
church and I never caught on to that because I
(28:10):
was so blocked by my addictions and my father's addiction
and everything. And so so it was And in addition
to that, I also met the chaplain who worked at
the college, and he became I didn't know it at
the time, but he became.
Speaker 7 (28:32):
If I could have chosen a.
Speaker 5 (28:33):
Dad, it would have been him.
Speaker 4 (28:36):
It would have been him. He's He's the man the
book is dedicated to and he's the one who encouraged
me to go to seminary. He's the one who.
Speaker 7 (28:49):
Just helped me through.
Speaker 4 (28:52):
You know, even when I was in counseling, I went
to a certified addictions counselor to deal with the trauma
in my childhood.
Speaker 7 (29:00):
And that was that man. Also was definitely.
Speaker 4 (29:05):
A channel for my higher power. Those two men, Steve
was the counselor and Paul was the chaplain. Those two
men redefined masculinity for me, and they redefined what a man,
a strong man is and it was you know, I know,
(29:28):
Godd put them in my life specifically for that reason,
and they gave me a validation where I never had
it before. And Steve actually was the one who reframed
what my dad and mom shared with me when I
was a child.
Speaker 7 (29:48):
He said to me, because I had.
Speaker 4 (29:50):
Steve was the first person that I ever told that
my parents called me a mistake. And because I knew
enough to know, oh, I've got to tell this counselor everything,
I've got to lay it all on the table. And
I told him, you know, my dad told me I
was a mistake. My mom confirmed it, and he said
(30:12):
to me, you know, Jessica, he said, I'd like to
give you a.
Speaker 7 (30:16):
Different look at this.
Speaker 4 (30:18):
He said, if your dad thought you were a mistake,
your mom confirmed it. So the two people, the physical
beings who brought you here right, weren't trying to bring
you here. They did nothing to make it happen. You're
supposed to be here. God wants you here. That's huge.
Speaker 7 (30:39):
And I remember his face like it was yesterday when
he said that.
Speaker 4 (30:43):
It almost looked like like light was coming out of
his face when he was saying it, and he just said,
that's actually a wonderful gift to know that God specifically,
so specifically wanted you here that he didn't even need
the help of the two people.
Speaker 7 (31:04):
In this world.
Speaker 4 (31:05):
He was just like, we are bringing her in, you know.
And it was like the weight that was lifted off
of me when he said that. To me, it was
it was amazing and it opened up all kinds of
just possibilities in my life because things that I never
(31:25):
thought I could do, I now started to get the
confidence to do it. And it was kind of like,
right after I finished my counseling with Steve Is when
I met Paul, so God like, you know, it was like, okay,
now it was almost like, you know, a baton they
were on a baton relay and Steve Paul and so
so as much as that job was not my dream,
(31:50):
if the only good thing that came out of it
was that I met Paul there the chaplain, that would
have been enough. But there was so much more, So
many wonderful people that came in and out of my
life during the time I was there, and so I
but at the time that I left there, it was
just last fall. I had my book was released in September,
(32:17):
and things were starting to get kind of toxic at
that play at workplace. And my husband had had a
bit of a transformation of his own over the last
couple of years. We've started going to church together. He
never had any kind of church when he was growing up,
(32:40):
so this was all new to him. We were watching
the show The Chosen together. I don't know if you've
heard of the show That Chosen, and so we're watching
that together and he's learning things about Jesus that he never,
you know, never knew, and finding a lot of strength
and faith in that. And he said to me, I'll
(33:01):
never forget this. I came home one night and I
just was just so wiped out from work, like I
just it sucked the lifeblood out of me while I
was there.
Speaker 7 (33:12):
That's how bad it was. And he said to me,
you know, maybe maybe the next.
Speaker 4 (33:19):
Couple of years before I retire is when you shouldn't
be working, and you should try to make this writing
ministry work. Because I had talked about it a lot,
excuse me since I graduated from seminary that I you know,
I just wanted my ministry to be spiritual direction in writing.
Speaker 7 (33:38):
And I couldn't. I didn't have the time to do it.
Speaker 4 (33:41):
It was exhausting, you know, because there's a lot of
research that goes into the stuff that I write, and
it just wasn't financially doable, or so I thought. And
until my husband got to a place where he felt
comfortable enough to say, you know what, let's take this risk.
I see what the job's doing to you, and your
(34:03):
spirit is dying when you're there, you know, And.
Speaker 7 (34:07):
So I left.
Speaker 4 (34:10):
I left, and he said, do me a favor and
do everything in your power to have health insurance by
the time I want to retire, right And.
Speaker 5 (34:20):
I think that's a big thing. That's a big thing too.
And of course, you know, health insurance is import and
of course his assurance as well, where personal escatology kicks in,
you know, providing health and everything. We'll getting more of
a book at Jessica Morris Higher Powered on one One's
journey in pers Eschatology. You listen to The Mike Wadner
Show at the Mike Widershow dot com powered by sound
quib cdials brought to by official sponsor to the Mike waders Show.
(34:42):
Introduction Warbring authored me and most is Missing. The Sweet
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and the sense swaying. Eric Dunmore with all of me,
Eric Danmusic dot com. We'll be back with author of
Jessica Morris halfter this time.
Speaker 1 (34:57):
Hey everybody, this is Eric Diamond and you're listening to
the Mike Wagner Show.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
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Speaker 9 (35:31):
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Speaker 8 (36:33):
Our music and know all about us at www dot
ericdiamondmusic dot com. Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok.
You can friend me on Facebook.
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You can follow me on Facebook, and you can even
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Speaker 5 (36:57):
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Speaker 1 (37:36):
Right place?
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Right time?
Speaker 5 (37:39):
Tuned into the Mike Wagner Show. You heard me, We'rebecca
author Jessica Morris of Higher Powered One One's Journey of
Personal Eschatology here on Mike Wenders Show, and he sat
down to write this book introducing personal eschatology with weaveing
stories about Nicodemus, lasar In Apostle Paul and tell us
(38:02):
more about that.
Speaker 4 (38:04):
Well, you know, it happened, I wrote my it happened.
It started in my early days of seminary, so way
back in twenty fifteen. The idea came to me, and
I didn't even know what eschatology was, Okay, so all
I was thinking about was I was learning about how
Jesus spoke symbolically about pretty much everything. He used metaphor
(38:26):
and parable to share stories and teachings. And I said
to myself, why couldn't he have been speaking in some
sort of metaphorical or symbolic way when he was talking
about his second coming? Like everybody seems to just accept
that everything he said about his second coming was literal,
where he spoke symbolically about everything, So why couldn't this
(38:49):
have been symbolic? And the idea came to me that
maybe what he was saying was your life is going
to end when I show up, and if you turn
from me, there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth
in your life. If you accept me, you will be
(39:12):
able to have the Kingdom of God. And as I
was thinking this, I had a flashback to a time
when it was about a year after college. I was
at a party and I was it was very cold,
it was it was January, and I went outside to
(39:32):
smoke a cigarette and I was hating on God. I
remember staring up at the stars in the sky and
just screaming at God like.
Speaker 7 (39:40):
I hate you, Why are you doing this to me?
Speaker 4 (39:43):
That kind of thing, like very self pitying and blaming
God for everything.
Speaker 7 (39:48):
And I had this, I had.
Speaker 4 (39:51):
This feeling rush over me of warmth, which was odd
because it was January and it was freezing, and I
knew in that moment of warmth that if I turned
to my left, Jesus was standing right there, not an apparition,
not a ghost.
Speaker 7 (40:11):
Jesus was there. I could reach.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
Out and touch him and hug him. And I immediately
got terrified and I ran back into the party. And
so then I went back to I was when I
had this memory that I had blocked for a long time.
I was sitting in intro to New Testament, and when
(40:36):
I came back from the memory, I was like, oh
my God, I ran away from him. He came to me,
and I ran away from him. That's why the years
between that moment and when I got into Recovery were
so filled with hell on earth. I don't even know
(40:56):
how else to describe it. They were the most horrible,
lating years of my life. And it hit me that
my return to Jesus was actually happening when I walked
into recovery, even though I wasn't saying Jesus when I
was talking about God, you know, I was talking about
good orderly direction. I was I was turning back to
(41:21):
Jesus and what was happening. I could see it all
in hindsight. Jesus was coming to me through people that
he knew I could listen to. He was coming to
me through the women in recovery. He was coming to
me through that counselor he was you know, like he
just he knew I couldn't look directly at him, so
he showed up through all these people. What we like
(41:44):
to say in recovery is it was God with skin on,
you know, a bunch of people that were somehow opening
to the spirit enough to become a channel for someone else.
And this was rushing over me in this class, and
I didn't know what to do with it. It took me
a couple more years before I even had the courage
(42:06):
to say it to one of my professors and I said,
would this be an idea for maybe my thesis? Because
I had to write a thesis in order to graduate.
And he said, well, what you're talking about sounds like eschatology.
And I said, I don't even know what that is.
What does that mean? And he said, eschatology really is
(42:27):
just if you break the word down, it means the
study of the end times. And so he said, you know,
you should do an individual study with somebody and learn
about what eschatology is before you create a new named eschatology,
you know, And so I did. I did that. I
learned all about what it was. And the different thing,
(42:48):
the different types of eschatology that are accepted in theological circles,
mainly apocalyptic is I'm sure what you've heard of the
Great Apocalypse or the Book direct and so that's an apocalypse.
The word apocalypse really just means a revelation, and so
(43:09):
the Book of Revelation is a perfect example of that.
It's a prophetic idea about what's coming.
Speaker 8 (43:16):
Right.
Speaker 7 (43:17):
And the other really well.
Speaker 4 (43:19):
Known form of eschatology is what they call realized eschatology,
which you can find in the Gospel of John, where
Jesus is consistently saying the time is now, it is
happening now. And I think he was saying that because
he's like, hello, I'm right here, you know, and everybody
was missing it, you know. And what all I was
(43:42):
doing was I wasn't saying those types of eschatology weren't true.
I was just saying, could this be another way of
looking at it? Personal eschatology Jesus returning. I mean, everybody
talks about how personal our relationship is with Jesus, so
why wouldn't he return for each one of us?
Speaker 8 (44:03):
Right?
Speaker 4 (44:04):
I mean it seemed so obvious to me, you know.
And so my professor, who I did the person did
the individual study with, said, well, if it seems obvious
to you, then I think it's something you need to
look into, right, And so I started researching it. I
couldn't find anybody else saying it, and I ended up
(44:26):
working with the dean of the seminary on my thesis,
and he was an expert in the Gospel of John.
And so we went through that book like with a
fine tooth comb together, and he taught me. Those two professors,
they taught me how to research like nobody's business, and
(44:47):
how to write, and it just it came together in
my thesis. But when I graduated, I knew like I
was trying to get an a, like, if I'm going
to be really honest, I was trying to get an
A with that thesis. What happened to me after I
graduated was I realized, this is more than an A
(45:09):
on a paper. This is an idea that I need
to put my story in and that's how the book
came to be. Like I took what I wrote my thesis,
which was the Three Guys, the story of Nicodemus, Lazarus
and the Apostle Paul, and then I took my story
of redemption and transformation and rebirth, and I just weaved
(45:29):
it amongst those three stories. And I got to tell you,
I don't have any of my own children. I never
had children. This is my child. I feel like this book.
I'm so proud of it in a non prideful way,
if that makes any kind of sense, because I feel
(45:52):
like God used me to put it on paper.
Speaker 5 (45:56):
You know that is really amazing. You just have one
heck of a story. And also, we forgot to mention
you have another book called Do Drop the Deal, a
devotional tell us more about that?
Speaker 4 (46:07):
Yeah? That I that my friend, my friend, the chaplain.
I was telling him how I wanted to This was
way back before I was in seminary. I wanted to
write a meditation type book for people in recovery or
maybe not, like I wasn't sure. And he was willing
(46:27):
to read the entries as I put them together. And
you know what's interesting when I got into early recovery.
I became a voracious reader because I had to get
away from the television because that's where I did a
lot of my binge eating. I would just sit in
front of the TV and eat.
Speaker 7 (46:45):
And so I started reading a lot and Dean Koons.
I don't know if you know the author, Dean Koons.
He became one of my favorites.
Speaker 4 (46:51):
And what I always recognized in his books was there
was always, even though they were very suspenseful and scary,
there was always like a good threat that weaved through.
And he had some really great one liners, and so
I put those at the top of each of my
meditation like I would use a quote from Dean Koon's
and I ended up sending ten of them to him,
(47:14):
and I said, is this something you would let me
do use all your quotes for my book? I am
not kidding you when I tell you. He wrote back
to me, and it had to be two weeks, a
handwritten letter back to me about how he he didn't
even know if this was doable. He doesn't know anything
(47:34):
about meditation books. But he would put me in touch
with a friend of his in publishing to find out
if she thought it was a good idea, and he did.
He followed through with all of that, and she actually
steered me away from doing that. She said, you know,
you're going to pigeonhole yourself into Dean Kuhon's followers, you know,
(47:55):
and that. Yeah, and so so that book came to me.
Speaker 7 (47:59):
So I didn't used quotes that.
Speaker 4 (48:01):
But the reason I share that is because one of
the things I've recognized about other writers is that they
want other writers to succeed. They're not, at least that's
been my experience. You know, that authors are not as
competitive in nature, at least the ones that I've met.
I mean, he didn't have to write back to me.
(48:23):
He could have just ignored the stuff that I sent.
I mean, the man's who knows how rich, you know,
and successful and he and he took the time to
put me in touch with someone he knew to help
me find my way. And so like, those are the
types of people I have come in contact with. And
you know, I think a lot of that has to
(48:44):
do with God guiding.
Speaker 7 (48:45):
Me too, you know.
Speaker 4 (48:47):
And and so so Paul read all of those meditations
as I put them together, and that book was released
the fall that I went into seminary, so it was
almost like, you know, one thing led to the other
led to the other, and hearing today.
Speaker 5 (49:04):
And that's so amazing as well, Jessica, where can we
find all your books at including Higher Powers?
Speaker 4 (49:09):
Everything you need to know about me, including Spiritual Direction?
My books is on my website. It's Jessica Elmorris dot com.
And we're I mean, the books are sold through Amazon,
So when you click on one of the books, it'll
take you to Amazon, but they're both available there. And
if you're interested in Spiritual Direction, I have a form
(49:31):
you can fill out and it'll send me an email
and we'll get in touch.
Speaker 5 (49:35):
That sounds great, we'll certainly do that. We're the amazing author,
Jessica Morris of Higher Powered What a Woman's Journey of
Personal Escatalogia Here on the Mike Winter showed just a
few more things, Jessica. What else can we expect from you?
Twenty twenty five and beyond Well.
Speaker 7 (49:47):
I just finished, almost finished.
Speaker 4 (49:50):
I have to edit yet my next book, which is
as it's called Sunbathing Son Basking in.
Speaker 7 (49:58):
The Word of got it okay, And.
Speaker 4 (50:01):
I've taken a hundred things that Jesus has said and
I've written my own meditations off of them. But then
what I've done after that is I've given the reader
a prompt to either do some writing or meditation or
prayer or study. Because one of the things that I've
recognized in my study of the Bible and of things
(50:23):
that Jesus said is that I get so much more
out of it than just listening to what someone else
said if I have then a task to do. Jony Ericksontada,
I don't know if you.
Speaker 7 (50:34):
Know her, she's very uh yeah.
Speaker 4 (50:37):
She does a lot of that kind of stuff where
she'll give like a meditation prompt, and I've found those
books to be much more helpful in my own personal journey.
So I wanted to create something like that. And I've
also been writing poetry like crazy and posting it on
my blog since I started my blog, which was twenty seventeen.
So a good friend of mine said, Okay, when you're
(50:58):
finished with this book, I want a collection of poetry. Okay,
so that's going to be the next thing I do
after this, and then we'll.
Speaker 5 (51:07):
See, Okay, sounds great. We're looking forward to it. Who
do you consider biggest influence in the career?
Speaker 1 (51:16):
Wow?
Speaker 7 (51:18):
You know, I would have to say.
Speaker 4 (51:23):
I mean, of course the easy answer is God, you know,
because God has come to me through so many people.
Speaker 7 (51:32):
But I would have to say probably Paul.
Speaker 4 (51:34):
You know. I mean, he he was a poet himself,
he was a writer himself. He was a minister of God,
and not just from the pulpit, you know. He was
a minister of God to people, to everybody. And that's
how I want to be. It's not about, you know,
the great speech that I give in front of people.
It's not about how much money I make. It's about
(51:56):
how did this person feel when they walked away from me.
Speaker 5 (52:00):
That is a really good point. What's the best advice
you can give to any bye this point?
Speaker 4 (52:07):
You know what, when you think you're receiving a message
from God, if you're a praying person, because this was
the best advice I was given in early recovery. I
can rationalize anything, you know, and I can. If there's
something I want bad enough, I can make it be
that God told me to do it, you know what
I mean. So one of the first women that I
(52:29):
met in recovery said to me, here's the thing, Jessica,
when you have a big decision, to make, or if
you have a little decision to make, pray about it
and then get someone else involved. So it's you God
and another person that you trust, and just you don't
have to get a whole bunch of opinions because they're
all going to be different, you know, just you God
(52:51):
and another person that you trust and then go with
your gut.
Speaker 5 (52:55):
Now, I think that's great advice as well too. We're
here with author Jessica Morris of Higher Powered one Is
during personal eschatology on the Mike Wenders Show. Jessica, very
big thanks you time. You've been absolute fantastic, learned a
lot looking forehead and soon keeps it up to date,
Keep in touch, lavavy Back. And what's your website? How
do people contact you? Bring people purchase or check out
your book?
Speaker 4 (53:15):
Jessica Lmorris dot com.
Speaker 5 (53:18):
All right, we'll certainly check that out once again, Jessca,
a very big thank you time. You have been abs
amazing looking fore heaven soon keeps up to date, keep
in touch, levavy Back. We wish all best in Jessica,
you definitely have for great fit you.
Speaker 4 (53:30):
Thank you so much, Mike, it was great to be
with you The.
Speaker 2 (53:32):
Mike Wagner Show is powered by Sonicweb Studios. If you're
looking to start or upgrade your online presence, visit www
dot Sonicwebstudios dot com. For all of your online needs.
Call one eight hundred three oh three three nine six
zero or visit us online at www dot sonicwebstudios dot
(53:52):
com To get started today, Mention the Mike Wagner Show
and get twenty percent off your project. Sonicweb Studios take
your image to the next level.
Speaker 1 (54:02):
Hey everybody, this is Eric Diamond. You're listening to the
Mike Wagner Show. You can check out.
Speaker 8 (54:06):
Our music and know all about us at www dot
Ericdimondmusic dot com. Follow us on Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, TikTok.
Speaker 3 (54:16):
You can friend me on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (54:18):
You can follow me on Facebook, and you can even
buy both of my albums off of Facebook. Just get
a hold of me on the Facebook Messenger. We have
them available in CD or thumb drive. Thank you so
much and hope you have a great day.
Speaker 3 (54:31):
Hi.
Speaker 9 (54:31):
I'm burl Bert, legendary American author, and I'm here to
tell you about Missing, the new mystery suspense novel by
me and mosen Ze. It's really a good book, very
surprising never metaphor I didn't like, especially in this book.
Speaker 3 (54:44):
Here you have a main character whose wife has been
filled with the spear.
Speaker 9 (54:47):
His wife died a nine to eleven is a young
daughter died of a rare disease.
Speaker 3 (54:51):
He's not a happy camper. What does he do for
a living. He's a physical fitness trainer.
Speaker 9 (54:56):
When somebody hardly knows, somebody's never met, he always encountered.
Our internet chat line goes missing, this is his journey.
He's going to go rescue them. This is his search
for redemption and search for his own personal promised land.
He couldn't do anything about the death of his wife,
the death of his child, but maybe he could rescue
this woman he's never met, that is, if she exists.
(55:17):
Missing by Me and most in Zeia International in scope,
vastly entertaining, full of surprises. I suggest you get it
either paperback or an electronic condition for your kindle.
Speaker 3 (55:26):
Missing by Me and Moss and Zia.
Speaker 5 (55:28):
The Mike Wagner Show is brought to you by Serena
Wagner's book The Sweet Sawmist Now availve on Emsom. This
book includes thirty exquisite paintings by well known and unknown
painters and King David psalms. The Sweet Salmist gives us
a new perspective on his life in this book through
the songs he wrote. His time as a shepherd in
the field is where the book starts, and it goes
on to describe his complicated and turbulent relationship with King Saul,
(55:49):
as well as other events. It's a story of love, betrayal, repentance,
and more. It also offers advice and approaching God and
living a life that pleases him. Check out the book
The Sweet Salmist by Serena Wagner, now available on Amazon
keywords Sweet Samers Sorina Wagon.
Speaker 6 (56:06):
Thanks for listening to The Mike Wagner Show powered by
Sonicweb Studios. Lisit online at Sonicwebstudios dot com for all
your needs. The Mike Wagner Show can be heard on Spreakers, Spotify, iHeartRadio, iTunes,
YouTube Anchor, FM Radio Public, and The Mike Wagner Show
dot Com. Please sport our program with your donations at
the Mike Wagner Show dot com. Join us again next
(56:28):
time for another great episode of The Mike Wagner Show.
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